Author's Note:
To make up for the erratic update schedule lately, have a super long chapter!
Chapter 152
Lunch "Talk"
"Who wants to ride with who?" Hedy asked, gesturing at the cars.
Amelia and the kids must have been picked up by a taxi while they were all talking inside.
"We're just going to find someplace in the city to eat first so don't worry about it too much."
Puppet whined about wanting to ride with Hedy as Mangle clung to her. Foxy, on the other hand, said he wanted to ride with Jeremy which surprised them all.
BB pointed at Mike with a worryingly gleeful expression. The others split up evenly although some like Goldy and Spring wanted to travel together.
Bonnie looked at Jeremy's car distrustfully as he shared a weird look with Toby. Some of Ruby's aversion to cars had rubbed off on a few of them.
Chica didn't look too pleased either.
"Chinese?" Mike suggested.
"I don't know many great Chinese restaurants in town," Hedy said. "But that could work."
"It's hard to go wrong with Italian," Jeremy said.
"Too easy to default to pizza," Mike grimaced a bit.
"Steakhouse?" Hedy offered with a mild wince.
Jeremy groaned a bit while Mike paled slightly.
"I don't...have very much money in my account right now," Mike said quietly. "Rent was this week."
"We could do something a little simpler," Jeremy said. "Slightly nicer burgers. Or we could stick with Chinese. If we go to a buffet and they can try a bunch of stuff."
"Most buffets are kind of gross," Hedy said.
"Maybe a little lower quality, but they usually aren't awful," Jeremy argued.
The bots were mostly quiet with only Chi and Chica really following the conversation with any interest.
"What's the one thing someone should try if they only had one chance to taste something?" Chica asked.
"Maybe something simple?" Chi added, looking a little overwhelmed at the options.
Mike's eyes suddenly lit up and he opened his mouth before covering it, trying not to die from laughing.
"Something Ruby cooked," BB blurted out then immediately flushed a little.
Hedy blinked. "I suppose...we could go to my house. Ruby leaves me a lot of leftovers sometimes. Not a restaurant though."
"We could do both," Goldy suggested. "I kinda wanted to see what humans live like anyway."
Toby nodded. He was really curious about that too. Plus he still wanted to see Hedy's video game collection.
Hedy looked at Mike giggling and near gasping for breath. "What's wrong with you?"
"The simplest thing," Mike said gasping, "I could think of was...chicken tenders." He was laughing so hard he was starting to cry. He couldn't even look at Chica and Chi.
"That's messed up," Jeremy deadpanned while Hedy pursed her lips and tried her best not to laugh.
The two chicken animatronics shot Mike identical glares.
Toby snickered and then immediately muffled it. He didn't want both chickens mad at him.
"People eat rabbit too," Hedy pointed out with an amused smirk.
That got Toby and Bonnie to give her horrified looks.
"I thought rabbits were pets?" Teddy asked in confusion.
"Depends on where you go," Hedy said. "I don't think I've ever seen a restaurant with rabbit, but I know they exist. Chicken places though? Sorry, Chica. Chi. That's like one of the most commonly eaten meats."
Chi pouted. "That's not fair."
"Sounds like we're safe," Foxy slung an arm over Mangle's shoulders.
Mike considered mentioning that people have definitely eaten fox before but hesitated, considering whether Ruby would make him regret the comment if she ever heard of it.
"Ugh you stink," Mangle complained before someone snapped at Foxy, "Get off me." She squirmed out from under him and shoved him at Jeremy.
Foxy snickered.
Mangle stiffened and blinked. "Smell? How did I just realize we can smell?!" She breathed into her hand. "Oh, it's me. That's puke?!"
"Seriously?" Mike asked. "It's been literally hours. You've been smelling things all day."
"Okay let's have the next existential crisis while we're driving," Jeremy said, waving them toward the cars.
"Can we ride with your siren?" Toby asked, distracting himself from the rabbit comment.
We haven't even figured out where to eat, Hedy thought in annoyance.
"We're supposed to be keeping attention off us, not drawing it," Mike muttered at Toby's question.
They eventually got the bots split up and in the different cars.
Toby pouted about the siren.
The bots watched the humans from inside the cars, some of them trying to figure out how the seatbelts worked.
Mike, Hedy, and Jeremy stayed outside to discuss where to eat for several more minutes before getting into the vehicles themselves.
"Seatbelt, Mari," Hedy said as Puppet fidgeted in the front seat he had won after a harsh glaring contest with Mangle.
"How do I...?"
Hedy pointed. "Pull that across and stick the metal part in that clasp until it clicks."
Puppet nodded.
After some struggling, the others managed to follow her instructions too. It was odd to see them struggle with something she considered completely mundane because it was a part of her daily life.
In Jeremy's car, the second he turned on the car and started driving, Foxy and Bonnie freaked while Chi eeped and clutched the door in a panic and Toby paled at the movement.
"Shit! Chill guys," Jeremy said when Bonnie kicked the back of his seat on instinct. "Foxy, put your feet down."
Foxy was staring wide-eyed as he gripped the door handle and nearly kicked the dash as if that would stop them from moving.
In the rearview mirror, Jeremy saw Mike stop suddenly after just the barest of movement, so he guessed the bots in his car had a similar reaction.
Hedy, however, kept driving and they watched her and her passengers turn onto the busy street. The bots she was with probably were much calmer.
Nope.
"Hedy. Hedy hedy you're going too fast," Spring fretted as Mangle yelped and grabbed his arm to hug it as Hedy made a turn. "H-hedy!"
"No I'm not," Hedy said calmly.
"Maybe..."
"Goldy. I know how to drive."
Puppet swallowed and tried to press himself into his seat as if it would open up and eat him, gripping the handle above him.
Mike sighed and rested his head on the wheel while everyone freaked out around him.
This was going to be a long trip.
"Guys, calm down."
"You don't need to go so fast!" Teddy freaked.
"I literally barely moved." Mike blinked and chuckled. "Heh. Bearly."
"One more pun and I will strangle you!" Freddy snapped.
Mike rolled his eyes. "Seriously. You're fine. I passed my driver's test."
None of them looked convinced. Jeremy was facing the same problem in his car.
"There's a reason the lass doesn't like cars," Foxy muttered after he tried moving the car again only to get the same reactions.
"Fucking hell," Jeremy groaned. "Why the hell did you get in then? Okay. I'm just going to drive and I'm not stopping until you guys stop screaming. And you can't hit me, because then we would crash."
"Is that supposed to calm us down?" Bonnie freaked.
He ignored the panicked question and just started driving.
Naturally they all freaked again but no one hit him because they did have some sense. Mike followed soon after with yelling bots.
They got to the buffet restaurant eventually and it was probably a bizarre sight watching a group of people pile out of the cars, some more panicked than others.
Goldy, for example, got over the car ride really quickly and was fascinated by the sight of the city passing by when they entered it.
Some of the others, not so much. Spring was still twitching.
"I don't want to ever do that again," Mike sighed.
Hedy patted his arm. "I don't think we have a choice, dear."
"We can walk?" Mike asked hopefully.
Hedy shook her head with a smile.
"Maybe they'll get used to it. Or we can switch up. Goldy was fine." She gestured at the bear who was glancing around, taking in the sight of unfamiliar buildings and people.
"I think Foxy honestly considered jumping out of the car," Jeremy told her with a sigh.
"God bless child lock," Mike said.
"Hear that, Foxy?" Hedy laughed.
"I'm purposely ignoring all three of you," Foxy called behind him as he waited for the humans at the door with the others.
Half of them were sulking while the other half were excitedly studying the building.
Spring was still a little twitchy though.
They behaved extraordinarily well inside the restaurant, although maybe they weirded the staff out with how polite they were.
Hedy figured they just knew the kind of behaviour from customers that they wished they dealt with.
Some parents at the pizzeria could be so rude, not to mention treat them like objects. A lot of people didn't realize the bots were alive. Once, Hedy had to readjust Chi's knee because a dad had kicked her just for fun and didn't care when she had called him out. It took Jerry snapping at the man for damaging company property and threatening to make him pay that sent the man and his family running. They got off much easier than if Ruby had heard about it. The bots were used to adults being rude, and even cursing at them jokingly because people thought they were just robots. Typically, those people were the same ones who were rude to the staff too.
The bots had all unanimously agreed not to tell Ruby about any of those incidents though. The teen would be furious and probably try to hunt down the customers. The Toys were slowly coming to accept that she could be just as protective over them too.
They passed the buffet and the bots did pause to glance at all the choices before Hedy ushered them to follow the hostess so they knew where they were sitting.
The bots were very self-conscious about how nice they were to the hostess. Even Toby made it a point to thank her when she showed them a table.
It was cute.
And probably a little weird to the woman.
Hedy even caught her whispering to a server as he passed to come ask them what they wanted to drink. Were they really that unused to people just being nice? Overly nice, but still.
It was sad. A group of animatronics that had murdered people in the past were kinder to them than regular people.
"What now?" Chi whispered to Hedy. She and Chica were the most excited for this after all.
Hedy gestured at the buffet. "Go over there, grab a plate from the stack and use the ladles to get whatever you want. Only get a little bit. Less than you think you need. You don't know what you like and I know how much you dislike wasted food."
She got some nods and the two chickens were off first followed by Mangle. The others followed slowly which was a good thing. Some of them were likely to get into a fight at the buffet if they all rushed over at once.
"You want me to get you anything?" Mike asked Hedy while Jeremy made a face, knowing how much Hedy usually hated people offering help when she was capable herself.
He was shocked when she agreed.
"What do you want?" Mike asked.
"You pick," Hedy said, not noticing Jeremy's stare.
Mike nodded and left.
Hedy didn't notice Jeremy's minor crisis since she was keeping an eye on the bots. She wouldn't put it past some of them, like BB, to cause trouble if they thought she couldn't see them.
"Ma'am, I can take the extra chair if you like," a host said, passing by.
"No thanks. I'm about to use it," Hedy said, moving from her wheelchair to the dining seat. "Just let me know if my wheelchair is in the way."
The host nodded and went to check on a table of young businessmen who were talking a bit loudly. They were easy enough to ignore though.
Puppet eyed the glass of water presented to him when the server came with the drinks. "Thank you," he said automatically.
Hedy watched him frown at the cup.
"It's water, Mari," Hedy said.
"It tastes funny."
Hedy sighed, "You don't even know what funny water is supposed to taste like. City tap water is just like that sometimes."
"You need to hydrate after all that alcohol," Jeremy added, still trying to wrap his head around the little interaction between Hedy and Mike a moment ago.
Puppet shifted.
Goldy snickered, which earned her some confused looks. "Puppet, just go." She rolled her eyes.
Puppet didn't explain and glared at her.
Goldy smirked. "You're going to need to go to the bathroom sometime anyway. It's not that bad."
Freddy absently blinked and abruptly set his drink down while Toby continued to suck on the soda he asked for, confused and not getting it yet.
A couple of the others groaned at either the reminder of a previous personal event or the promise of one coming eventually.
Puppet rolled his eyes.
Hedy stared at him. "Have you been holding Jerry's bladder all day?" She was actually concerned there were a few of them who still hadn't gone to the bathroom all day, given how they had already been human for around five hours. Now she was concerned about dehydration
Puppet grimaced. "Don't be rude."
"I'm being anatomical, doofus," Hedy retorted. "Get over yourself. It's weird and gross but everyone, every human, does it, and Jerry will understand. Just don't ever mention it to him."
"That goes for all of you. Just never mention this day to the daytime employees. Ever," Mike added.
He was just going to forget that this day ever happened after this...
Well, except for the videos Ruby took. Those made it kind of worth it.
"Puppet, go to the bathroom," Hedy ordered as Mike handed her the plate he got for her.
Puppet just made a face, clearly still a bit tipsy if he was willing to make faces. Or maybe he was always so expressive and it just never came across with the limitations of his animatronic face.
"Unless you want to experience the consequences of NOT going to the bathroom," Goldy mentioned cheekily.
Puppet glared at her.
"Puppet," all three real humans snapped like parents before looking at each other in surprise.
Puppet stared at them, even more miffed, before he stiffly stood up and walked away to find the toilet before this situation got worse.
He passed Mangle on his way and she gave him a confused look as she came back to the table.
Goldy was laughing at the humans and their expressions.
"What did I miss?" Mangle asked. She was a lot more coherent already. Puking up the alcohol had helped and eating would do more.
"Puppet needed to be threatened," Jeremy said.
"To go to the bathroom," Hedy clarified. She gestured at Mangle's plate as it was set down. "What did you get?"
Being a bit more adventurous than some, she'd grabbed some food that she didn't even recognise along with ones that she wanted to try. She listed it off excitedly while some of the others drifted back. Freddy and Teddy had stuck to food they knew the name of. Foxy had taken anything that looked interesting. Toby and Bonnie were having some kind of argument at the buffet and the chickens were taking their time choosing.
BB had just sort of grabbed random things.
"Hedy? What's this?"
Hedy eyed the mushy disks with some kind of black skin that Mangle pointed at on her own plate. "Uh. I don't know..."
"Eggplant," Mike said. "Damn, Hedy, know your vegetables." He playfully scolded while he smirked at her.
"Shut up," Hedy said snippily at him, nearly stabbing his hand with a fork when he reached over to snatch a piece of fruit from her plate.
"Why do people try and take food from another person's plate?" Chica asked, returning just in time to see the near stabbing. "Why don't you just get the same thing if you want it?"
"It's a couple thing," Jeremy explained with a dead expression as he stared at Mike and Hedy. "Human familiarity behavior. There's a psychological base of being comfortable enough to share food tracing back to ancient human hunter-gatherer groups and needing to learn what was safe to eat."
Everyone was looking at him weirdly.
Hedy paused with a fork of food halfway in her mouth while Mike looked a little scared.
Jeremy was always a little scary when reminded Mike and Hedy were obviously dating.
The elder brother reached over to stab a fry from Hedy's plate.
"Wha-hey..." Hedy complained.
"Case in point," he said, still without much emotion as he ate the fry. "Hedy isn't actually upset about us taking her food. Because she knows it's implied she can take mine. Or Mike's."
"It's the principle..." Hedy argued lamely.
"...Uh. You okay?" Mike asked cautiously. "You only talk psychology stuff when you're trying not to freak out..."
"I'm fine," Jeremy said.
None of them believed that. The dead tone was a little disturbing.
"Can we steal food from her then?" Toby asked curiously.
Mangle was already snagging a fry from her.
"Hey! No! There's a limit!" Hedy cried out, defensively shielding her plate.
Mike cracked up laughing at her distress and he didn't even notice Goldy steal a chicken strip from his plate with a smirk.
That of course set off Bonnie and Foxy as well while Teddy and Freddy retreated to protect their food.
It was probably a good thing that Ruby wasn't there. She'd have started a food fight immediately.
As the situation became clear, the more mature ones of the table (which at the moment was only Hedy) glared at Jeremy for starting this.
Puppet came back to complete confusion, wondering why on earth Mangle was brandishing a fork at BB threateningly. He also had a headache and felt a bit nauseous so the chaos wasn't helping.
"I wonder if any of the day staff are allergic to anything?" Mike suddenly asked as Chi and Chica started discussing the fish they were eating.
"That...would have been a great thing to ask before we left," Hedy said, a bit alarmed.
The bots talked to the day staff more often these days. They would be the best to know if the humans had allergies. It was something they paid attention to with kids also.
"Hey guys? Everyone stop eating for a minute," Hedy ordered sharply, startling some of them.
Puppet looked at her in annoyance. He hadn't even gotten to try anything.
They all looked at her, some more obedient than others.
Chi and Chica were actually pouting.
"Do you guys know if any of the staff have food allergies?" Mike asked once Hedy successfully snagged their attention. "Otherwise, we should probably call to check."
They blinked and looked at each other.
"Not as far as I know," Freddy was the one to answer.
"Andrew can't eat shellfish," Mangle remembered.
Spring paused and abruptly pushed his plate adorned with a couple of shrimp away.
Hedy was already calling Ruby, just in case there was anything else.
Ruby answered quickly, saying that Izzy had a minor lactose intolerance issue and Harrison was allergic to bees. Just in case someone got stung.
"How do you not know this?" she was asking as Hedy hung up.
"Lactose...?" Mangle repeated with a weird look.
"Drink milk, eat cheese, get a stomachache," Hedy explained.
"Well, I'm not planning on going near any bees," Toby said emphatically.
"What is milk actually?" Foxy asked, maybe a little drunk still, but genuinely curious.
Hedy blinked. "How do you not know what milk is? You see nursing mother's come into the pizzeria all the time."
"Yes..." Chica said slowly, "But you don't use human milk as a drink right? It's something different."
Mike immediately choked on his soda and coughed as he painfully tried to drown in carbonated water.
Jeremy looked mildly horrified, but he luckily wasn't eating or drinking anything at the moment.
Hedy laughed in surprise. "...C...cows.." she squeaked out through gasps of breath as she tried to recover.
The funniest part was how acceptable a question that was.
They looked so serious and confused about the reactions.
"What's yogurt?" Teddy asked randomly. "A customer threw a fit the other day because we didn't serve it."
"Rotten milk," BB said with utter confidence and a concerning smile.
Hedy got her breath under control long enough to speak. "N-No. Well, technically. It's fermented. Fermenting is when something is safely rotted using bacteria that's safe to consume."
"...Ew..." Mangle said.
Jeremy laughed.
So did Hedy and Mike after a second.
"What?"
"Alcohol is fermented," Jeremy chuckled. "That vodka you nearly drowned in was basically carefully rotten potato juice."
Now Mangle, Foxy and Puppet were pulling disgusted faces.
"Why would you want to drink something that's rotten?" Teddy asked, horrified.
"It tastes good," Mike said.
Mangle was about to express her doubt because she certainly didn't really take those shots for the taste.
"Historically," Hedy said. "It was a way to store food so it didn't go bad in a dangerous way and people wouldn't run out of food easily. People haven't always had refrigerators. Alcohol also made water safe to drink before we had ways to clean it."
Most of them still looked disturbed.
"Can we change the subject?" Bonnie asked.
"Feeling a little ill?" Hedy asked teasingly. She eyed a certain little pile of pink opaque goo with strawberries on Bonnie's plate but didn't point it out.
"So..." Foxy looked confused and Jeremy realized he was probably still a tiny bit drunk and maybe hadn't listened very closely to the last minute of conversation. "You don't use human milk?"
"Ugh. Ew! No!" Mike's horror was back as he covered his face.
"How is that different from cow's milk?" Foxy seemed really bothered by the conundrum.
Hedy stared for a minute. Time to traumatize them she supposed...
"A cow is an animal," she said slowly. She pointed at her chest. "I know you guys don't consider biology unless it's important to children or specifically important in any given moment. But you need to think for a moment. I would produce milk if I had children."
They looked where she was pointing but it didn't seem like anything clicked.
"What?" Chi looked so confused.
Jeremy looked mortified.
Hedy stared at the group for a long long moment. She was suddenly aware of snickering. Her glassy eyes slid to Puppet and Goldy, and she realized they both looked like they were absolutely losing it.
Even Puppet was struggling not to laugh. He couldn't even eat.
Goldy was giggling so hard tears were coming to her eyes.
Hedy looked back at the other bots in horrified realization. "Guys... where do you think baby milk comes from?"
"It's a formula right?" Bonnie said, "You're supposed to mix a powder in the water?" He sounded both concerned at their reactions and a bit insulted they would think a group of animatronics that worked with kids wouldn't know what formula was.
"..." Mike looked a little dumbstruck. "When you see a lady with a baby and she has a blanket over her front, what do you think she's doing?"
"...Feeding the baby?" Chica said.
"With a bottle?"
"Of course, what else?"
"Oh my gosh..." Hedy put her elbow on the table and buried her head in her hands.
Goldy decided to have a little mercy on the humans. "Puppet and I remember Timmy as a baby," she looked at Spring sadly.
He returned the smile reassuringly and waved her off.
"And Puppet and Spring liked to read medical books like a couple of dorks," Goldy said.
"You think dairy and milk is just a powder?!" Jeremy asked.
"You're really starting to freak me out," Toby said.
"How..." Hedy sounded pained, "How oh possibly how do you not know what nursing is...?"
They all continued to look completely confused.
"How did you two never fix this?!" Mike demanded from Goldy and Puppet.
Goldy just snickered again. "It never came up."
"We could always make them ask Ruby?" Mike turned to ask Hedy hopefully.
To be fair, Ruby was the oldest in an orphanage of young kids. She'd definitely had to deal with this situation before...
Hedy groaned. "I'd rather keep the list of things she's going to hold over me for the rest of my life to a minimum."
"Okay..." Jeremy mumbled as he stood up. "Something tells me you're going to use yourself as an example Hedy, so I'm going to walk away now. Far away..."
"Coward, " she hissed.
"The only breasts I should be caring about are my wife's," he declared, maybe a bit too loud in a higher pitch as he tried to walk away.
Some people from the nearest table looked up in confusion, unsure if they really just overheard that.
Hedy snorted. "Jeremy."
Mike was holding his breath, expecting a threat to come in his direction.
Jeremy just waved behind him and pretended not to know what was going on as he got more food.
Hedy sighed. "Okay, I'll keep this simple. If I were to have a baby, I would be able to produce milk. Mammals produce milk for their newborns until the offspring is able to digest tougher foods.
"What do you mean produce?" Mangle asked, as her face twisted to concern.
"I don't like where this is going..." Bonnie muttered.
"Milk comes from female mammals and their mammary glands. It is not a plant powder or a chemical or some fancy rock we grind up into a glass of water. It literally comes out the body of another living creature, from the mother, as a compound of fats and nutrients that the baby needs to grow."
"From the boobs..." Mike added awkwardly, refusing to look anywhere but the ceiling for a moment before he decided he was making it weirder than it had to be by being awkward. He looked down at the bots for their reactions.
Hedy nodded as most of the faces twisted in horror.
Chi paled and pointed at Hedy. Specifically her chest.
Hedy nodded with a huff and crossed her arms on instinct as all the looks went her way, even if she knew they were innocent. They were animatronics, but the borrowed faces giving her attention in horror sent warning signals. It was weird and uncomfortable.
Goldy looked like she might laugh herself out of her chair and the only thing keeping her upright was Puppet who was trying, and failing, to keep his own laughter under control.
"Gross..." BB whined, covering his face.
"I could have gone my entire life not knowing that," Foxy muttered.
"Ew ew ew ew ew," Chi was moaning to herself.
The others seemed struck speechless with their horror. Except Spring. Spring had just gone back to eating with a mildly curious expression. He did have that knowledge subconsciously so maybe it wasn't much of a shock to him.
Toby paled, glancing down at Hedy's chest in disgust.
It was both uncomfortable having him do that, and somehow very insulting with that expression.
Hedy shoved the thoughts away. It was just the fact he was in Harrison's body that made it weird, otherwise, when thinking of Toby it was like a little kid looking at her in genuine curiosity as she explained this. Still, she crossed her arms tighter.
Mike had an odd look.
Hedy didn't want to say "possessive" but well...
"Does that mean Ruby..." Toby trailed off in more horror and disgust.
"...If she had kids," Hedy said honestly.
Now a couple of them looked kind of pale and faint.
Foxy abruptly stood up. "I'm going to stand with Jeremy and pretend that last question wasn't asked," he muttered, stalking off.
"You can pretend all you want," Hedy said, waving at him. She could be a little mean sometimes when amused.
Bonnie smacked Toby on the back of his head.
"Ow! But how..."
"Toby, think about bottles. You've seen babies suck on bottles."
"Oh...gah!"
Mangle shuddered, her whole body spasming. She seemed to realize something and crossed her arms tightly over her chest with a freaked-out expression.
"Izzy doesn't have kids right?" she asked, unable to remember something so simple as her mind rattled.
Mike snickered a little uncomfortably as he covered his face, a bit red. "I don't think so."
"That sounds like cannibalism..." Chica said with a disturbed look.
"It's not," Hedy said tiredly.
Goldy had finally reached laughter levels that knocked her to the floor. This one moment made the entire day worth it.
"Stop talking about it!" BB smacked the nearest bot (Puppet) blindly. He looked completely grossed out.
Hedy smirked down at Goldy on the floor as Puppet glared at BB through his own laughs.
"Goldy, how old is Olivia's son?" Hedy asked.
"Old enough that I don't have to worry about this!" Goldy said, laughing hysterically.
Other people in the restaurant were staring in confusion and some in annoyance.
"I don't think I'm hungry anymore," Bonnie whined, looking ill.
"Someone please change the topic," Chi was covering her face as she begged.
Hedy and Mike laughed.
"Are we going to the beach later?" Mangle desperately squeaked.
All their expressions were pleading with them to go with the subject change.
Luckily, Hedy had mercy even if Mike was still awkwardly laughing his butt off.
"Yes, I don't think we have time to look for swimsuits, so we may have to deal with wet clothes. If we don't take too long with everything else, we might be there long enough to sun dry before we go to the cemetery. It won't be comfortable though."
They all said it was fine. They just wanted the experience.
Seeing that it seemed to be over, Foxy and Jeremy rejoined them.
"This day will forever be burned into my mind," Jeremy said sarcastically.
"We seem to get a lot of those," Hedy said. "It's a little weird though. We're over here talking about my breasts and you didn't even glare at Mike once."
Foxy moaned. Just drop the subject, Hedy!
"Why would you point that out?" Mike panicked, looking ready to bolt.
"Don't jinx it," Jeremy said, his voice frighteningly even.
His little sister smirked at him and then winked at Mike, who just groaned in defeat.
Hedy turned Mike's face by the chin, planted a little kiss on his lips, and snickered.
"You're terrible..." Mike said, covering his eyes to avoid looking at Jeremy.
"Hedy!" Mangle whined while still watching Hedy and Mike in an odd confused curiosity.
"I'm done. I'm done," Hedy said, putting her hands up in surrender.
The Toys all had the familiar disgusted expression at the behavior. The Originals just looked like they were trying to forget this entire conversation. Goldy was still giggling to herself and Spring was calmly eating already.
Puppet still looked very amused, but now he cast Hedy and Mike a lazy (half-curious) look.
"Heh. You seem far more willing to flirt than usual, Hedy. Is it being in public or the subconscious fact we don't look like ourselves? Or maybe this situation is getting to you."
Hedy smirked. "Maybe it's just that you've never seen me outside of the pizzeria. How do you know I'm not a flirt all the time? Maybe I'm just sneakier about it back home?"
"That doesn't really answer my question."
Mike chuckled, more caught in that kiss than he thought. "Don't worry. We keep our hands off each other in the building."
Jeremy growled and Mike paled.
Hedy kicked both of them weakly under the table, though she smirked. "Of course I act differently in front of you guys. We all do. You're too innocent," she said. "Ironically."
The Toys just continued to look disgusted.
Goldy looked amused. "You don't know what teenagers get up to at the restaurant, do you?"
The Originals all looked pained suddenly like they were remembering something they'd tried to suppress.
"We said we were never talking about that again!" Bonnie snapped at Goldy.
The humans suddenly looked worried.
"I'm assuming the worse...and I dearly hope I'm wrong," Jeremy muttered.
Goldy giggled. She tended to see a lot that happened around the restaurant.
"It's a thing where teens make-out in blindspots on a dare or something," she explained.
The Originals looked pained. They'd walked in on that happening a lot. The Toys just looked startled.
"You learn to recognise the signs," Freddy sighed. "A couple giggling and glancing around at the employees, trying to sneak off to the rarely used areas. Why do you think Ruby watches the teenagers so carefully when she's there during the day?"
Foxy grinned. "Whenever she catches them she dumps ice water on them to 'cool them off'."
Goldy was smiling wickedly at Bonnie.
"Don't you dare," he hissed.
"What?" Hedy asked suspiciously looking at Bonnie while Mike tried not to laugh at the believable imagery.
Mike couldn't help but be a little grateful he and Hedy hadn't given Ruby many opportunities to catch them like that. It was weird to think about getting caught by Ruby though. She might be more relaxed about the relationship than Jeremy but he still didn't want her to see anything. It would be like his little sisters catching him.
The fact the other ghosts and the building could feel things Hedy could if she wasn't careful had something to do with it, in his opinion. All of it made him want to shudder, both for Hedy's sake and his own.
The pervasive lack of privacy combined with the somewhat sacredness that they did, in fact, work in a children's restaurant tended to dampen any romantic mood. There were many other traumatic and/or potentially traumatic reasons too (over a dozen to be exact), but the living building surrounding them was a big one.
Basically, Hedy and Mike had a strict rule, mostly unspoken, that they limit how affectionate they were at the pizzeria for "their kids''" sakes.
Hedy rolled her eyes when Mike described the Toys as her kids but it was accurate enough.
Michael wasn't forgotten, but neither of them preferred to give him much thought.
Goldy's smile widened. "Well, sometimes they try and do more than just 'make-out'.
"Goldy!" Bonnie looked partially panicked while Foxy snickered.
"Once a pair got pretty far in the backroom when Bonnie walked in to fetch something. He just sort of froze and the girl asked her boyfriend if he thought there were cameras on 'the robots' because she thought that it made it better that they might be filmed."
Bonnie whined and covered his face.
"O-oh. Oh no. Oh honey," Hedy said, looking a cross between mortified, horrified, disgusted, and somehow incredibly amused. The only clear expression she had was sympathy for Bonnie, even as she covered her mouth and tried not to die laughing.
Because it wasn't something to laugh about.
It wasn't.
Honest.
Don't fucking laugh, Hedwig Lamarr Fitzgerald.
Mike was struggling to retain his composure as he melted from hysterical giggles much like Goldy's before. He was wheezing.
Jeremy wasn't much better, leaning his elbows on the table and covering his face. Was he crying?
"Oh no...I don't want to imagine that," he moaned with shaking shoulders.
"I can picture your face!" Mike cackled as Hedy broke down into her giggles even as she tried to shut the men up.
"We're supposed to be the adults here!" Hedy hissed shakily.
Jeremy laughed harder, leaning his head on the table as he broke down.
The Toys looked mostly confused, except for Mangle who looked horrified at the situation but knew Bonnie's discomfort was something to revel in.
Puppet looked shocked, so this was apparently the first time he'd heard the story.
"Oh dear..." he said with a cringe and expression similar to Hedy's initial one.
"Scarred for life, Bonnie?" Hedy asked with a pitying whine.
Bonnie whined in response, refusing to look up.
"It was better than the time I walked in on a pair in their sixties trying to spice up their marriage," Foxy muttered, sipping from his drink.
Mangle choked on her food.
"Yeah but you had the smarts to shut the door immediately. Bonnie just sort of stood there in horror for a good minute," Goldy pointed out.
Chica looked at the Toys. "You're all still so innocent it's adorable."
Hedy moaned, running her hands down her face as she struggled to get her laughter under control.
"Oh, that's awful. That's all awful," she said.
Mike muttered something barely under his breath but Goldy was a little bit certain she heard "kink" in his words as he shuddered.
They would not have been able to have these conversations if Ruby was there.
"Adorable?" Toby said, insulted. "Who're you calling adorable?"
"I don't think that helps," Teddy said, staring at the others like they were crazy.
"I am not giving animatronics the Talk," Jeremy suddenly vehemently declared, glaring at Puppet.
Puppet and Goldy at least were presenting themselves as having roughly the same level of knowledge as humans their age, even if a bit stunted (especially in the case of Puppet from sitting in an isolated warehouse for years). If the Toys were ever going to need that sort of education, the oldest two better handle it first.
Goldy gave him a grin that reminded him way too much of Ruby suddenly. "I'll do it."
"NO!" All the Originals said at the same time.
She pouted.
"Heh. You make it sound like she already did the damage on your processors," Mike said with a chuckle and grimace.
"At the very least, someone needs to explain to the Toys how to tell when you really shouldn't enter a room," Chica admitted.
They'd learned the hard way.
Puppet had a lazy expression with one cocked eyebrow as he drawled. "If you hear Hedy and Mike calling out each other's na-" Puppet started, his mild disgust dry and measured but cut off as Jeremy reached across the table to try strangling him.
"We don't...!" Mike said, red in the face and about to emphatically claim they wouldn't dare get up to that stuff where any of the bots could walk in.
But Hedy stopped him with a slight knock to his chest with the back of her hand while the other tried to grab the back of Jeremy's shirt.
The Toys were back to expressions of absolute horror while the Originals looked torn between grimacing and being amused.
Goldy was giggling again and suspected Puppet wasn't still drunk enough to have said that by accident.
"Puppet!" Jeremy snarled.
Puppet blinked at Jeremy as he quickly scrambled out of the way, putting more of the table and other bots between him and the older brother.
"This is getting ridiculous, Jeremy. I knew Hedy as a child. A baby, literally," Puppet scolded bravely as he shielded himself with Foxy. "If I can get over the fact she's grown into one of the few good adults and does adult things, especially with my programming telling me to continue seeing her as that child, then you really have no excuse."
"That might have been the nicest thing you've ever said, Mari," Hedy said.
"I'm stating a fact-Ah!" Puppet shrieked a little as Jeremy ducked around the edge of the table and made a grab for him.
"Seriously, sit down, both of you. We're still in public," Hedy said.
They were getting a few more stares now.
Goldy was being useless and giggling madly still.
"Are we ever going to actually eat?" Chi sighed.
"What are you waiting for?" Mike asked as Hedy rolled her eyes.
"Jeremy, sit! Or I'm calling Amelia," Hedy said.
That worked at least. Amelia didn't really let him get away with his overprotective brother routine.
Spring had just been quietly eating this entire time and was already halfway finished with his food.
Mike was half convinced he'd stolen food from everyone else's plate by now but had yet to actually catch him.
Chica looked like she had some idea, because she looked down at her plate as everyone settled and frowned.
It was kinda a hilarious look on her (technically his) face.
The conversation turned to the food thankfully as they all discussed the flavours, finding what they liked and what they didn't.
Puppet, for example, found he didn't really like chocolate. He appreciated how different it was, but he just didn't like it.
Mike laughed at the slightly miffed look Hedy pulled when Puppet said so.
Goldy stole his chocolate before Hedy could. Turned out she did like chocolate. A lot.
Chi and Chica were in an intense conversation about the different tastes and textures.
It was amusing for the humans to hear them discuss pasta as "warm like the moment right before shutting down." Alfredo was softer while marinara was a little more electrical.
Sour things tended to feel like getting hit, but only on the back teeth.
Sweet was like being excited, but not exactly in a good way.
Hedy decided not to point out when Chica ate a small chicken strip. Granted it just looked like some heavily battered and fried strip of anything.
It was interesting to hear what they compared the tastes to.
Unsurprisingly BB seemed to love anything sweet. Weirdly enough, but still fitting, Toby seemed the pickiest of them all when it came to food.
As lunch went on, more people started filling the tables.
A little way away from them a child started screaming and crying. The poor mother and father were trying their best to quiet the baby and their other child, while still being able to eat.
It did catch the bots' attention, but they weren't bothered except for concern for the child. They glanced at the other table, uncomfortable because they wanted to help.
Hedy looked up as a table in earshot called a waitress over.
"Hey, you think you can do anything about that kid. We're trying to eat here," one guy said.
Mike glared at the stranger.
The bots were confused while the waitress gave her flustered response, saying that she couldn't do much. The group was used to all their customers being used to screaming kids because it was a children's restaurant. The idea that an upset child would only rate as an annoyance to some people was a new concept.
Well for everyone but Goldy and Puppet. Goldy huffed softly to herself while Puppet shot the man a subtle but sharp look.
"This is unacceptable. We're trying to have a pleasant meal here," the man said.
"Hey, it's fine. Really," another man at the table said.
"What do you mean fine?" The first man snapped.
What kind of bad day was that guy having?
The waitress sheepishly approached the family and stammered.
"I'm so sorry," the mother said quietly before the waitress could get a word out. "We can move if it's too much trouble."
Puppet looked at Goldy and sharply yelped, just a little, as she grabbed his arm and dragged him out of his seat with her.
"Ma'am," Goldy said calmly, which was strange and probably difficult given how she really hadn't spoken to strangers in nearly two decades. "Do you need help? We can keep your babies busy so you can get a break and actually eat something."
Puppet was glowering at her as she spoke but she ignored him.
"We work at a children's restaurant so we're very used to kids," she continued smoothly, gesturing back at the table with her free hand. "We're out on a co-worker's lunch."
"I forgot how good Goldy is at lying," Bonnie muttered to Foxy who snickered.
The bear could out-lie Puppet when she felt like it.
The hopeful but cautious looks in the parents' eyes said it all, though they clearly were apprehensive about handing their children to strangers.
"Oh, thanks kid," the father said with a mildly pained expression as he absentmindedly took the fork away from the hyper toddler. "But we couldn't ask that of you."
"It's very sweet of you to offer, but it's alright."
Puppet huffed slightly, shooting a glare at Goldy. "We're just sitting right there, in plain view. We'll just keep them occupied until you can get a bite to eat."
"Well...just a minute?" the husband glanced at his wife hopefully.
She practically sagged.
"A-alright. Thank you. Just for a few minutes..." She hesitated for a moment before gently handing Goldy the baby, watching the younger woman warily. Almost warningly.
"Aw, what's her name?"
"Reese."
"She's adorable," Goldy cooed at the baby.
The Originals all fell silent suddenly. Besides Jeremy's kids, Goldy never got to interact with any children anymore.
Puppet didn't protest as he took the toddler, simultaneously wiping the boy's messy mouth with a napkin.
The parents watched them carefully as they came back to the table with the children, staying well in view.
The rude man from the nearby table looked even more irritated now that the kids were closer than beforehand.
"Hello!" The boy said to Puppet.
Puppet smiled. "Hello there. Is that your colouring page?" The boy nodded. He squirmed out of Puppet's lap and jumped down, sprinting back to his parents to retrieve a blue crayon from his dad.
"This is my favourite color," he said proudly, handing his new friend his crayon.
The baby started to fuss again so Goldy gently hushed her and traced down the front of the little girl's nose with her pinky while the others watched.
The two oldest bots' years of experience with kids was very obvious as Goldy got the baby to settle down almost immediately while Puppet had the boy quietly colouring again moments later. Spring looked a bit sad because he was a little awkward with children now. Some things were instinctual but he'd lost a lot of hard-earned experience with his memories.
"Do you want to hold her?" Goldy asked, noticing how Hedy was staring.
Hedy straightened and quickly shook her head. "N-no." She chuckled a little awkwardly as she changed the subject. "You guys literally can't resist kids. Seeing you as human makes me think you'd be good parents if it was possible."
Toby made a face while Goldy snorted.
"Not you," Hedy deadpanned looking at Toby and most of the other Toys. "You can't say no to a kid."
"Yeah. I'm not sure you guys could do the discipline bit," Mike said. "Except Puppet and Goldy." He looked at the others, Originals and Spring included, "No offense."
Spring put his hands up and shook his head, completely agreeing.
Foxy and Bonnie looked at each and Foxy shrugged. "Eh, we can't say no to Ruby so that's fair."
They chuckled at that. Ruby just had to turn the sad eyes on the Originals and even Freddy had a hard time denying her fireworks.
It drove Hedy crazy. Always had.
"She is cute," Mike admitted, standing up a little to look at the baby.
"She's stinky," the little boy announced with a wrinkled nose.
That got them all to chuckle again.
"All babies are," Toby nodded in solemn agreement. The Toys did tend to prefer the older kids except for Mangle who liked telling the toddlers stories. Foxy also leaned more towards the older kids while the other Originals tended to watch the smaller children more closely. Spring only really interacted with the older kids and young teens. He panicked a bit if he was in charge of small children. Gave him flashbacks.
Puppet was the only one who didn't have a preference as long as they weren't teenagers.
Mike found it funny he and the other humans were even aware of the preferences. Mostly because of the irony. He liked kids, Jeremy had the dad instincts and was good with little ones, but Hedy?
Mike chuckled at the thought. Out of everyone in their funny found family, she was the worst with kids. Not because she was mean or impatient, she was just so awkward and maybe a little scared of them.
Ruby honestly didn't get why she was so uncomfortable. For the teen, being around kids was normal. She didn't even find Hedy's discomfort funny, just confusing.
Hedy meanwhile didn't really have a specific reason for her discomfort.
Puppet saw it as her clearly just not having been around little children very often, especially as the youngest in her family and not someone who was in a position to be around children or do babysitting jobs as a teenager. She was fine around Marcus and Mercy more recently. She was sweet and loving and perhaps overly gentle, maybe in a paranoid way that showed she wasn't fully comfortable with watching them alone. It was likely just the familiarity. A stranger's child was different and she just didn't know what to do.
Puppet secretly wondered if it was worth it to try to "teach" Hedy and get her used to children. If she and Mike we're going to keep this going long enough, Hedy's explanation of milk production may be very relevant later.
Goldy might help, but she was equally likely to tell Puppet off for the manipulative plan if she didn't agree.
The bear was always the hardest to predict of the bots. Depending on her mood she could be on board with some of his more questionable ideas or completely against the most harmless.
Goldy was humming softly now much to the baby's delight. No one interrupted her moment because they knew how much she missed this.
Puppet decided to suggest his plan later, but while Goldy was still in a good mood.
Once again Hedy was a little saddened by the fact they hadn't found a way for Goldy to get back to work.
She had some interaction helping Spring run the horror attraction, but Goldy liked the kids; she could be sweet too, not just "cool" or "scary." Like the twins. She loved being Mercy's favorite.
She didn't even seem to notice the others watching her amuse the baby.
There was a clear difference between when she was happy in general or for someone else, and when she was genuinely happy in a moment for herself.
Puppet cracked a rare smile, but even it was strained. It wasn't really fair, he thought, how out of the three of them (him, Spring, and Goldy) he was only one who was really "whole" and able to have these kinds of moments. He deserved it the least out of everyone.
The three of them were a complete set. Spring wasn't whole mentally. Goldy wasn't whole physically. And Puppet…? Well he had his body and his mind at least. Not his "heart" though. That was in tatters.
He was the only one "whole?" What a fucking lie to tell himself. He wasn't whole emotionally.
The three of them. A complete set. How depressing.
"That couple looks exhausted," he commented while helping the son color when the kid handed him a red crayon.
"Is it because of the baby?" Chi wondered. "The parents with babies seemed the most tired when they visit."
"Yeah," Bonnie nodded. "Babies need a lot of attention and usually mess up the parents' sleep schedule."
"This might sound bad, but I'm kinda glad the dad looks just as tired as the mom," Mike said a little guiltily. "That means he's helping out a lot, doesn't it? Or am I reading too much into it."
"If he's the one working, it could be that as well," Hedy said. "But he looked relieved at Goldy's offer too."
"We should direct them to the pizzeria. Ruby still does babysitting jobs sometimes to give parents a break," Bonnie suggested.
"Heh. Hey kid, you like pizza?" Mike asked.
The little boy smirked, as if he already knew what reaction he would get. "I like the pineapple kind."
"...you monster..."
The bots snickered. They didn't really get why there was such a divide regarding pineapple on pizza. Ruby still hadn't given Mike a straight answer on where she stood. She didn't even eat pizza often.
Hedy laughed and held up her hand for the boy to give her a high five.
Mike looked betrayed. "I want a divorce."
"We're not married, Mike," Hedy reminded. "And if it makes you feel better, I'll just eat Hawaiian if it's there. It's not my favorite at all. I don't even have the capability to eat pizza usually so I eat whatever's available."
"It's an abomination!" Mike hissed at her while Puppet and Goldy kept the kids entertained.
Hedy smirked. "It's pizza, Mike. I don't complain about you dipping fries in ice cream." She glared at him in a little disgust.
Toby looked around. "Can I try that?"
Chi and Chica pulled a face at the same time. "That's disgusting."
"It's savory and sweet," Mike defended, pushing his plate with some fries at Toby.
Hedy scoffed.
Toby looked curious much to most of the bots' disgust. Mangle looked kind of curious as well.
"It's a potato!" Hedy argued. "You don't put a salty potato in ice cream."
"And you don't put pineapple on pizza!" Mike argued back while those interested tried out the new combination.
Hedy and Mike didn't usually argue. It was weird.
Jeremy found some amusement in it at least.
Toby was not so silently gagging after having tried the mix but Mangle kept eating it, ignoring Hedy's betrayed expression.
It wasn't too long before the parents of the baby and toddler walked over to collect their children, thanking Goldy and Puppet profusely, the dad trying to hand them money. He practically tried to shove it into Goldy's hand.
They both shook their heads and told him that they didn't mind. They wouldn't take the money.
Puppet held his hands behind his back so the man couldn't grab his hands to place the cash. This was a strange day but he wasn't about to let some random adult touch him.
Goldy watched them go a little wistfully.
"Everyone done eating? If your stomach hurts that means more than yes. You probably over ate," Hedy said.
A few quickly tried the last things they had left before they all agreed that they were finished.
"Alright Mangle's coming with me for the errands," Hedy said.
"I'm taking Goldy skydiving," Jeremy sighed in resignation. "And anyone else I suppose."
"Go-carts," Mike said, raising his hand.
"We'll meet at the beach in two hours, okay?" Hedy said.
As interesting as an experience eating was, the bots in borrowed bodies were more than ready to move on and leave said experience and the previous discussions behind.