There's a lot in a Name, Actually

"Wait, your names aren't... really your names?" Po asked.

"Of course not, Po," Viper replied. Po's eyes would've fallen on the floor if he stretched them any wider. "Did you really think that my parents, who are snakes, just named me by my species?"

"Wait, wait," Po held his head and plopped his elbows onto the kitchen table. "So... none of your names are... your names?"

"No," Tigress answered. "If people knew our names they would follow us back to our families if we have them. Why do you think we call you panda sometimes?"

"As an insult or because I did something wrong?"

Tigress shrugged, "Fair point."

"But... what about me? I don't have Master Panda as my codename."

"That's because the villagers know you very well. Plus, it's mainly something for the Furious Five, not every master," Monkey replied. "Before this, people didn't know who we were."

"So... The names just became codenames for you?"

"That and sometimes people just forget us. Some masters in the Masters' council usually have the same codename dynamic," Crane answered.

Po's eyes were stuck. He slowly shook his head and tried to get his brain to work. "Are you okay, buddy? You look like you're about to break down," Mantis asked.

"I... I feel lied to. Wait, but Oogway and Shifu-"

"People associated with the Jade Palace, except the Furious Five, don't have to worry that much since their life is IN the Jade Palace," Tigress explained.

"But... Tai Lung?" Po asked.

"He would've been called Master Snow Leopard."

"But... isn't there another Master Snow Leopard?"

"In that case, they would have another title to their name. Like Master Thundering Rhino and Master Flying Rhino," Tigress said. That part made sense.

"I... feel like you guys are joking with me," Po nervously chuckled.

"Except for Tigress who's grown up in the orphanage, why would anyone call their kids by their species?" Viper asked.

"I don't know! It's just... I don't know!" Po exclaimed, woefully confused. He took a deep breath. A soft hand rested on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Po," Tigress smiled. "We're still the same people that you know."

"Yeah, but if I don't even know your real names, how close are we actually?"

"Honestly, we thought you knew," Monkey said.

"Why would I know this!? You guys barely tell me ANYTHING!"

"That's true," Monkey murmured.

Po took a long deep breath. "Alright, enough beating around the gong. What are your real names?"

"Huan," Viper smiled. It can mean happy, pleased.

"Ju Jie," Mantis replied. Ju can mean big, and Jie can mean heroic.

"Gang," Crane replied. Rigid, hard, strong.

"Ju Ling," Monkey smiled. Ling can mean spirit or bell.

Po nodded. Their names actually fit them a bit better.

He looked to Tigress. She gave a deep sigh. "Hui Ying."

"Oh that fits you perfectly," Po said, matter-of-factly.

"Why?" Hui Ying asked.

"It means clever beauty, right? That's basically you in a nutshell," Po smiled widely. Hui Ying's eyes widened, but she smiled. "So... uh... Wants some... soup? I'm sorry I'm still trying to reevaluate my life."

The entire room laughed.

The End

A/N: I know this would NEVER happen, but just imagine if it could. Could you imagine the absolute mental hernia that would cause? XD