this past weekend i graduated from college! i will now be putting my creative writing minor to use by presenting u with yet another chapter :)

The tunnel was less cramped as I went further inside. Either that or I was getting better at passing between the rock. Still, it took some effort to feel ahead with my fingers, reaching up and down to make sure I didn't bump my head or snag my hip on anything. The faint sounds of Childe's movements reached my ears, so I knew he also got past the worst of it. I couldn't hear anything ahead that might be Kaeya or Diluc, though.

I noticed the damp rock gradually became slicker, so much so that slight wetness covered my hands. Periodically, I wiped them on my clothes, but it got to a point where I stopped caring and figured it'd be best not to get my clothes soaked in cave water. Knowing that this amount of moisture was present was interesting. Where there was water, there was life. What sort of life could possibly exist at the end of this tunnel?

"Lumi?"

I paused. "Yeah?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you hadn't wandered off again."

"There's nowhere for me to wander off to, Childe. There are only two possible directions for me to go and that's forwards or backwards."

"I know, I know. Anything can happen. Charging into an unknown space like this—the ground might open up into a pit in one spot, or the walls might crumble at another."

A chill ran through me at the thought, and I cautiously continued down the tunnel. "That's super comforting to think about right now, thanks."

"If you think about the worst-case scenarios, then the eventual outcome might not seem so bad after all. It's just as Diluc said before, nature is unpredictable. It may seem calm and unassuming at first—beautiful, even—but a death trap can spring up at any moment. Sometimes, the enemy isn't a person. Lull yourself into a false sense of security, and you may find yourself in a situation where the only escape isn't the salvation you might have hoped for."

My lips parted in awe at his words. "Where is this coming from? It sounds like you're speaking from experience."

"Because I am," he paused. "The darkness in here…it's nothing compared to the environment of the Abyss, but it does bring back memories."

That's right—Childe did say he fell into the Abyss when he was younger. He'd never gone into detail about what it was like down there for him. What I saw of the Abyss in my dreams didn't seem terrible, but my situation was different. The Abyss Order had intentions to recruit me, but I could assume an unwanted outsider would have faced unspeakable monsters. Especially at a young age, the amount of fear he felt back then…and to be reminded of it now…

"Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," he said quickly. "The accident was a long time ago. Besides, like I told you, the nightmares that used to haunt me are gone now. I can imagine it's because I've grown stronger—both physically and mentally—but I wouldn't have known peace without you, Lumi."

"You did mention something about that." I shook my head even though he wouldn't be able to see it. "I don't see how I'm able to keep nightmares away, though."

"Well, with what we know about the Abyss Order having their eyes on you, the connection with my Abyss nightmares is there."

"I guess now that you mention it, my own Abyss dreams," or projections, as Enjou liked to call them. "They went away when I put more focus on you. On all of you. We must be doing the same thing, then? Fortifying our minds against the Abyss?"

Childe hummed. "Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"No, you're right."

"What else were you thinking?"

"I'm sure I've told you this before, but you're different. Special. Someone so special, the Abyss Order may stop at nothing to steal you away. The reasons why they want you could be related to how you've nullified my own connection with the Abyss."

I wasn't sure how to feel about that. The Abyss Order coming after me was one thing—I had no control over who they decided to pick as their next Source. Part of me imagined they would take just about anyone who met the power requirement, but knowing that Childe's Abyss nightmares went away specifically because of me was an additional concern. The possibility that I really was the only viable Source became more likely, and I didn't like that. If we located last year's Champion, the alternative Source, I'd feel some relief that I might be spared. Then again, even though I didn't know who the Champion was, I didn't want a stranger to take my place. It wouldn't be right for either of us to fall into the Abyss Order's schemes.

"I don't want anything to do with them," I sighed. "At least, with this power I have, it's helping you out."

Childe's voice darkened. "It's not worth it. I would be fine to dream a million nightmares each night if it meant you were off their radar."

I pressed my lips together and frowned. There's no point in me being safe if it meant he suffered. If I had to choose between Childe worrying about the Abyss Order's plans or me worrying about Childe's mental state—I couldn't pick either. Creating a third option, one in which the Abyss had no place in our lives, was what I could settle on.

"I don't know about that, Childe. I remember you looked so awful in those weeks after our fight. When you stayed away from me and your nightmares came back, Amber said you looked like a dead ghost. Dreaming a million nightmares…there's no way I'd be able to sleep soundly while knowing what you'd be going through."

"A dead ghost," he chuckled. "I certainly did feel that way."

"Then don't make senseless comments like that. There's no way the Abyss Order plans on backing off, so enjoy your nightmare-free dreams."

"Thank you."

I shrugged. "It's not like I intentionally made them go away."

"Thanks, anyway."

He didn't say anything else after that, and we fell back into silence as we moved further along the tunnel. My eyes had adjusted to the dark to the point that not seeing anything felt more like I was in a space of nothingness rather than me being blind. I thought over everything Childe had said, keeping my senses sharp for any sudden danger in the area. If trouble came up ahead, that probably meant Diluc and Kaeya would have gone through the same thing. I wasn't so sure about them getting along, but I had faith they had the sense to cooperate when necessary.

"You're normally not this reflective," I said.

The thought suddenly came to mind after fully processing Childe's words. I was mostly used to Childe both speaking and acting however he wanted to in the heat of the moment. Unrestrained energy usually didn't pair with measured caution.

"I wouldn't say so," he hummed. "I just haven't gotten around to saying my reflections out loud. There's no use in wasting time spouting philosophies when you can focus on the present moment. It just so happens that this present moment could use the extra thought."

"You should have saved it for the others to hear," I smiled. "They'd take you more seriously, you know."

"I do my own thing," he scoffed lightly. "Whether or not they take me seriously isn't my problem. If they haven't realized my character by now, that's a fault of their own. All I care about is—"

"Getting stronger," I finished.

"Strong enough to fight for what I believe in. Strong enough to succeed. Strong enough to protect the people I care about. I may be a warrior, but my family back home live a more domestic life. The world is mostly at peace now, but I've seen just how quickly that can change. I want to become someone they can rely on—someone you can rely on."

I smiled. "I do."

Eventually, I began to hear a faint echo of water steadily dripping. There must be some sort of puddle nearby, and an echo meant a wide enough space for the sound to bounce off of. I maneuvered down the tunnel a bit faster, eager to reach the end.

"We're getting close," Childe said.

"Sounds like it."

A moment of silence.

"Lumi, I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to answer me honestly."

My steps slowed slightly, and I wondered what he could be up to. Suspicion filtered in my response. "I'm always honest with you, Childe."

"Of course, I just want to make sure."

I narrowed my eyes. "What's your question?"

"Why don't you rely on me?"

I drew up short. "What? I do rely on you."

"That's not what I mean, Lumi. Why don't you rely only on me? Remember what I said about not caring if the others took me seriously? That doesn't apply to you, and I can't help but feel that you're not taking me seriously."

"I take you seriously."

"Do you, though?"

Feeling the urge to roll my eyes at the ridiculous question, I stopped moving forward to fully focus on the conversation. Confusion took over my mind, and I wanted to understand what was up with him all of a sudden. "What have I done that suggests I don't take you seriously? From the conversation we just had and me trusting you—relying on you—with everything relating to the Abyss Order and my new power, that's as serious as it gets."

"Right," he sighed. "You're relying on me."

"I am."

"And Diluc."

"Yes."

"Thoma and Kaeya as well."

"Your point is?" I crossed my arms and faced the direction of his voice. This was information I thought was well-established, but I began to wonder if I'd missed something judging by yet another heavy sigh that came from Childe. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Not at face value. Here, let me rephrase this. You're not taking my feelings seriously."

I unfolded my arms. "Your…feelings?"

Now that I had stopped walking, Childe's voice got louder as he came closer. He wasn't by me, not yet, but I suddenly felt nervous for when he was. Childe had brought up Diluc, Thoma, and Kaeya in the same context as his feelings, and it suddenly hit me. A blush crept up my neck, and I was grateful for the darkness. Of course, I was aware of Childe's feelings. They'd become more and more obvious with each meeting.

Spending some time alone with Seelie and my thoughts led to the conclusion that I had to face each of them about how I felt. It was easier with Diluc and Thoma since they approached me first, but I thought I would have more time to figure out how to confront Childe and Kaeya about it. If that time was now…I took a calming breath.

"Since I was a bit of a terrible person when we first met and because there's no excuse for my past behavior, I get why you wouldn't want to be with someone like me. Yet, even after I confessed my feelings to you, I never got a proper response. Believe me, I would normally be fine to stay as we are. Though it'd make me the happiest man alive, I don't need my feelings to be reciprocated. I just wish you'd stop tormenting me—ignoring my feelings and blatantly indulging with the others."

I openly balked and racked my brain for the memory of Childe's confession. I would have remembered something like that. No particular moment came to mind.

"What are you talking about? You've never—when did you confess to me?"

"You don't remember?" His voice rose in surprise. "It was right after the monster attack."

"The monster attack?" My own voice rose incredulously. "The only time I saw you after the monster attack was when we were arguing about morals in the infirmary. You kept going on about how everyone but you and me was weak and too pathetic to—"

"Alright, alright," he cleared his throat. "I can admit that wasn't my finest moment, but that wasn't the only thing I said to you that day."

"You really confessed?" I wiped my face. "I'm sorry, but all I can remember from that time is being incredibly appalled."

"That's understandable," he mumbled with some resignation. "If you didn't know this whole time, then—"

"No," I cut in.

"What do you mean 'no'?"

I squeezed my hands into fists. "I did know—about your feelings. Not when you thought you told me, but I figured them out along the way."

"So, my point still stands?" he said as though he wasn't sure.

"I wasn't tormenting you," I emphasized. "Or at least, I didn't mean to. You've obviously realized by now that there might be something going on with me when it comes to Diluc and Thoma, and you'd be right. They confessed to me—very clearly—and I found I shared the same feelings, but that made it complicated."

"Complicated how?" Childe asked, and I jumped back.

He was right next to me.

I blushed harder and covertly fanned my face with a hand. "Well, I was worried having feelings for more than one person wasn't very fair. Especially since there was more to think about than just them. I'm incredibly grateful that both Diluc and Thoma decided that they—that we—together we can work it out."

"Right," Childe grit out. "That doesn't seem very complicated to me."

I blew out a breath. Somehow, there had been a misunderstanding when Childe confessed to me. Though I was absolutely certain I wouldn't have accepted it when he was so far gone, now was different. Being frank was necessary—both for my wildly beating heart and for Childe.

"If you're still wondering about reciprocation, here it is. I like you, Childe. You're all different people, and I'm drawn to care deeply for each of you. At first, I was super conflicted about how I was supposed to deal with my ambitious heart, but I was never confused about how I felt." I pressed my palms into my cheeks. "So, yeah."

I waited for a response, for Childe to maybe say something about how dumb I was being, but he was quiet. He was quiet for so long, in fact, I worried he might have left. I winced, hurt by the idea, but I couldn't be upset about it.

"How long?" Childe spoke softly. He hadn't left, after all. No, it sounded like he might have gotten even closer.

"How long?" I parroted, not sure what he was asking.

"How long have you felt this way about me?"

"Oh," another blush hit me. "It's hard to pinpoint exactly when. These realizations have been pieced together very slowly. It's kind of embarrassing how long it took me to figure everything out, and I had help."

"Make your best guess." He had to be directly in front of me.

I still couldn't see anything, but I tilted my head up as if I was looking at him. Thinking hard, I bit down on the inside of my cheek as I thought about it. The first person that brought Childe up to me was Kaeya. It had been after I freshly cut ties with Childe, though I couldn't help but worry about him. "A couple of months ago?"

"Months," he murmured before erupting in a lighthearted chuckle. "You've felt this way for months, and I had no idea."

"We have that in common," I smiled.

"Can you blame me?" he laughed again. "I've had to sit by while watching you and Thoma share your matching charms and coming to terms with the emotionless Diluc actually fawning over a person. Archons, it even feels like you and Kaeya are constantly swapping secrets while I'm forever outside of the loop. This whole time, I felt like I've been barely hanging on to you and that I deserved this. To atone for my past, I wasn't worthy of you the way they were."

My face fell, and the relief that came with finally airing everything out was wiped away by guilt. Childe's voice had dwindled, and I could hear the hurt. I had thought taking my time to figure out my feelings was necessary, but now I felt ashamed to have taken so long. After Childe pointed it out to me, I realized that I had tormented him—in a way. If our roles were reversed, if Childe went off flirting with other people after I made a confession, 'hurt' wouldn't be enough to describe the heartbreak.

And yet, he hadn't said anything until now. Childe showed up each day with his bright smile, raring to go, perfectly masking the pain of what he thought was rejection.

I swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. I was worried something like this might happen, and it may have been inevitable. I understand if, after being strung along, your feelings aren't what they used to be."

I said that, but I somehow had the nerve to still feel sad about losing Childe after this. He thought I was playing with his emotions this whole time, so how could I expect him to suddenly be fine with a simple apology? If I prepared myself for this worst-case scenario, it might not be so bad.

On second thought, I don't think any amount of mental preparation would soften the blow of his rejection. I would have to learn how to cope.

"What are you saying?" Childe surprised me by brushing a lock of hair away from my face and tucking it behind my ear. Could he see me? "Not what they used to be? I have to say the opposite is true."

My eyes widened, and I couldn't find the words to respond.

"Each moment I've seen you share with them has made me want to experience you for myself even more. Let me be the one to share an embrace when we meet and when we part. Let me be the one to hear your secrets, support you through the teleport waypoints, and grab your favorite foods." Childe's hand grazed my cheek, and my breath hitched. "I'm here for you too, Lumine. Rely on me. Use me however you wish."

I still wasn't sure how he knew where I was—where my face was—and I worried he could see how red my cheeks were. Surely, he could feel the heat coming off of them in waves. I was hit with a familiar force of bewilderment at his open acceptance of the situation. Childe didn't care that Diluc and Thoma were in the picture. I hadn't even gotten the chance to talk with Kaeya, and Childe had already assumed he was part of this. I was under the impression that Childe was incredibly possessive, but it seemed like he cared more about getting to be with me than being the only one.

"For you, I'll do anything." Childe drew away. "If my feelings aren't wanted, then I'll back down. I can't promise that they'll ever go away, but you won't have to worry about me."

My heart flipped in a panic, and I reached out to grab his hand. Despite the darkness, I caught it on my first try.

"You'll do anything?" I whispered.

Childe clasped his other hand to hold both of ours. "I swear it on my life."

"I want you to stay with me, Childe." I lifted my free hand to cover his. "From the moment you came into my life, you've always been a part of it. I don't want to go a day without knowing you'll be there for me, and I'll do my very best to make sure you never feel left out again."

I felt the softness of his lips firmly press on top of my hand. "In that case, my life is yours."