I first woke with regret.
Before my eyes even opened, I wished to go back to sleep. One more hour or even five minutes would work wonders, but I had to face the day. Alas, the minuscule amount of sleep I got was worth it once I remembered why I was so tired. Sucrose's experiment—epsilon-series vitanova, variation sixty-three—was complete. We should really think of a better name for that. Not even an acronym rolled off the tongue nicely.
I dressed quickly and made sure to stick my nose right above the spirit borneol diffuser that Aether gave me. Because I spent such little time in my room last night, I worried the cleansing effects wouldn't be strong enough to stave away the abyssal influence. For good measure, I sucked in three deep breaths, enough to make my eyes water, before exiting my room.
Breakfast was put on hold for now. Sucrose and I had agreed to meet up to present our creation to Barbara directly. Though I considered stopping by the dining hall to alert my friends of what was going on, it might be better to see them later and deliver the good news. Archons, I hoped there would be good news after this.
The curious stares from my peers hardly distracted me today. A fresh layer of snow crunched under my feet as I diverted from the main pathway, reaching the administration building as fast as possible. One last puff of air steamed from my mouth as I took a steadying breath outside of the building.
My wrist tingled annoyingly once I shut the door behind me. Three more days on Enjou's clock be damned—I was getting this done now.
When I entered the infirmary, there was someone already at the desk chatting with Qiqi. Barbara, just the person I wanted to see.
Before even turning to see who I was, Barbara's cheery voice greeted me. "Good morning! How can I help…oh, Lumine. I'm afraid our no-visitor rule still stands. Unless you're the one in need of treatment?"
"I have something that will help," I said confidently, placing both hands on my hips.
Her eyebrows rose. "You…do?"
Belatedly, I remembered that it wasn't me who had it. Sucrose still hadn't arrived, it seemed. No matter, I used this time to explain everything to Barbara—holding back a few yawns as I went. She listened intently from beginning to end, and it satisfied me to see her initially skeptical expression change to optimistic.
Right as I finished, Sucrose came through the door with a wrapped cloth in her hands.
"Am I late?" she asked, panicked.
"Perfect timing, Sucrose." I grinned and pointed to the cloth bundle for Barbara to see. "There it is."
At my cue, Sucrose let it unfurl until the jar of lavender liquid was revealed. Barbara stepped forward to get a closer look. I waited with my partner in plants and potions for a response.
"Are you sure?" Barbara asked tentatively.
Her uncertainty made me question my own. I looked to Sucrose for confirmation, and she nodded at me sharply.
"Yes," I answered. "Cross-examined with typical medicines, it meets all the requirements and then some."
Sucrose and I stood there while Barbara folded her arms, contemplation drawing her eyebrows together. It was hard to remain patient when Thoma was just a few doors down, but I understood why Barbara would be hesitant. This potential cure was the product of a bio-alchemy experiment—application in the real world came with a risk.
Still, every second counted. It wasn't much long before Barbara sighed with visible reluctance.
"I'll see what I can do," the kind healer said. "From what Albedo has told me, Sucrose—your talent in bio-alchemy is worthy of praise. I will put my faith in your efforts and combine healing techniques with…um, what is this medicine called, again?"
Without missing a beat, Sucrose reported, "Epsilon-series vitanova, variation sixty-three."
"Oh my, that's very…" Barbara chuckled lightly and accepted the bottle from Sucrose.
"Vitanova—for short," I suggested before tentatively asking, "I don't suppose you'll let us join you in the treatment room?"
As expected, she simply shook her head and gestured to the bench by Qiqi's desk. "Like before, you're welcome to wait out here, but I recommend you find some breakfast. It's important to fuel your body with enough nutrients to start the day properly!"
"Oh, no I couldn't," Sucrose said quietly. "I'm too eager to see how epsilon-series vitanova—how it ends up working. I'd be too distracted to sit down and eat a meal."
Though I felt the same way, I could already see disapproval growing on Barbara's face.
"Barbara's right, we should—"
"It's a good thing I brought some of my favorite creations—nutritious meal, variation five hundred ninety-four." Sucrose dug into her bag and pulled out two cubes, each one the size of a golf ball. They looked very solid and held a pale green color. "Though not a product of bio-alchemy, I have perfected the formula for an on-the-go meal. I had the idea to make this after one too many skipped meals in favor of practicing alchemy. Lumine, please take this. A single portion contains the same nutrients as a full serving of food."
She passed one of the cubes to me—it was slightly heavier than it looked—and I gave it a cautious sniff. No stranger to odd culinary creations thanks to Xiangling, I didn't hesitate much further before taking a bite. The familiar flavor of a crab, ham & veggie bake filled my mouth, and it crumbled similarly to a block of cheese.
Sucrose had popped the cube fully into her mouth and chewed it down with a satisfied smile.
"Now, we can wait here," she said happily. "Until the results are in."
Barbara's eyes darted between me and Sucrose as we sat down on the bench. Then, she gave a small shake of her head and turned away, excusing herself to the treatment room.
For now, there was no reason to sign the logbook since we weren't allowed past the reception room, but I did so anyway—partly out of hope, but also so I could talk with Qiqi. Our conversations in the past have always been brief, but I did my best to chat with her as time passed. Sucrose had already flipped open a notebook and mumbled all kinds of alchemy jargon to herself.
We went on like this for well into the hour, yet I didn't feel hungry at all. That compact meal really was effective, and I wondered just how many of them Sucrose had stocked up on.
There was only so much we could distract ourselves with. While my leg bounced anxiously, Sucrose began twirling her pencil more than actually using it to write. If Barbara took any longer, we'd have no choice but to go to class soon and wait the entire day for an answer.
Fortunately, Barbara returned to the reception area before that happened. Unfortunately, she wasn't wearing her signature, sweet smile, and I knew that could only mean one thing.
My stomach twisted and words automatically fell from my lips. "It didn't work."
"Well," Barbara paused, lightly scratching her cheek. "Like the holy water, there was some success at first. This new medicine possesses properties far more effective than I've ever seen before."
"Was there regeneration in the afflicted area?" Sucrose asked, sitting straighter.
"Yes, but the remaining corrosion in the patient's body, though the levels have gone down quite a bit, overpowered the vitanova before a full healing process could take place."
Sucrose slumped back into the bench and began mumbling again—something about increasing certain elements in the vitanova, but that would decrease the likeliness of a balanced pH. Though her disappointment lay more with the experiment, she still turned to me with an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry, Lumine. We'll have to work harder next time."
I nodded stiffly, not trusting myself with a genuine reply. With three days remaining, time was hardly on our side.
It felt like a miracle by the time I'd finished classes and my duties in the greenhouse. At any given moment of the day, I'd barely kept my focus on anything except for the vitanova and what we could have done differently. Part of me now understood why Sucrose was always so engrossed with her work, and I wished I knew more about alchemy to make a bigger contribution.
Not even Childe, with his playful taunts and jabs, could pull me from brainstorming. If I wasn't thinking about the properties of elements and how they functioned with the human body, my mind might wander to Thoma. If my mind wandered to Thoma…I would surely fall apart. So, even though Childe tried to get through to me, even though Aether intercepted me between classes to check in, even though Xiangling was thoughtful enough to slip me snacks in horticulture—I buried emotion in favor of logical thought.
At least, I tried to.
At this point in the day, my mind was exhausted from analyzing every single ingredient used in the vitanova. I could go to dinner early and risk catching sympathetic looks from my friends, or I could find Sucrose and indulge in another meal cube. Rubbing my wrist, I abandoned my school bag in my room and opted for the route leading to the laboratory building.
Perfecting the vitanova was also an effective distraction from heartache. I'd take any distraction I could get.
Remain level-headed, Lumine. Focused. A clear mind. I attached myself to this resolve and moved with purpose.
A clear mind.
I walked past the greenhouse again.
Focused.
Next, I cut through the sparring circles. My attention caught on a lone student off to the side training with a wooden dummy. Briefly, I thought of how surreal that was—there were people living on this campus completely unaware of Thoma's fatal condition. They got to live in ignorant bliss, not worrying that someone they deeply cared for might not be alive next week. My eyes narrowed bitterly at that, but I quickly abandoned the jealousy. I wouldn't wish destructive corrosion on anyone but my worst enemy—not that it would even affect him.
Remain level-headed, Lumine.
The training ground spanned a wide area, and I was only halfway across when it occurred to me that the lone student had a head of fiery red hair. He had also stopped swinging a giant claymore at the battered wood dummy and was walking in my direction.
Ironically, the clarity that I desperately clung to blinded me to my surroundings. Lips parting, I found myself speechless when Diluc stopped to stand in front of me. The shock of seeing him—breathing heavily from physical exertion—was enough to momentarily chase away my internal turmoil.
"Are you alright?" he asked, voice deeper than I remembered.
"Huh?"
"Your eyes…they look panicked."
Panicked? Sure, there was a heavy dosage of panic buzzing under my skin, but I thought I had that under control. Evidently not.
"I'm working on it," I admitted.
Diluc stared at me, assessing. In turn, I stared back at him. He'd stabbed the tip of his red claymore into the ground and leaned on the grip, a great deal of his skin exposed to the winter air with just a thin t-shirt. If Diluc was cold, there were no signs of it. A sheen of sweat caused the fabric of his shirt to cling to his body, and I swore heat radiated off of him.
"Have you been taking care of yourself?"
I opened my mouth to say yes but knew that Diluc would see straight through me. Though, it wouldn't technically be a lie since I didn't skip any meals thanks to Sucrose. Except, also thanks to Sucrose, I'd hardly slept last night. Win some, lose some.
"I'm also working on that."
"Lumine…" Diluc trailed off, and I could almost hear the torrent of concerned words that he thankfully refrained from saying. Instead, he asked, "Where are you headed off to?"
Now, that was an easy answer. "The laboratory building. I'm working with Sucrose to make something for Thoma."
"Alchemy already?" His eyebrows rose. "That's quite advanced. I'm impressed."
Talking to him, I felt my body relax. "There's definitely a learning curve. She taught me the basics, so I have some idea of what's going on, but we still have a long way to go before—well—we were close to a solution. It didn't work, but the next variation will." It had to.
"Shouldn't you eat something before then? I'm aware of how easy it is to get carried away with a task, and from the looks of it, you haven't given yourself a worthwhile break. No one is immune to burnout, you know."
I didn't know how to tell Diluc that a break would be the worst thing for me, that I wouldn't know what to do with myself, but he had a point. It hadn't bothered me when my brain fizzled out in class today, but I couldn't bring that into Sucrose's experiment. Making a mistake would undoubtedly be a bigger setback than taking my time.
Instead of sorting through the few options I had to wind down, I picked up on how I already felt less wired. The level-headedness that I tried to trick myself into only occurred with Diluc here. It's been days since I last saw him in Dain's office. Not only that, it's been ages since we last sat down together for chess.
Maybe that's why I suddenly felt more at ease. Every time I was around Diluc, he gave me a chance to temporarily let go of my troubles, focusing on how the ordinary was therapeutic on its own. Though a night at the tavern could be hectic, it's where people went to let loose. Chess required intellect and strategy, but it was ultimately a game for fun. A mindful reprieve didn't sound too bad, after all.
"Can I train with you?" I blurted when the thought came to mind.
Diluc sighed. "That's hardly what I'd call a break."
"Well, what are you training for?"
"I'm…" He cleared his throat. "Taking a break from work."
I pointed an accusing finger at him. "You're being a hypocrite."
"In my defense, I'm also honing my offense. I recognize that, though I've exhausted my resources, there is little assistance I can provide for Thoma. What I can do is prepare for another incident. If it dares, that abyssal abomination will regret the next attempt on your life."
His words had hardened, and I understood why Diluc had given his all against the training dummy. The poor thing was only a few blows away from transforming into a pile of splinters and woodchips. After hearing his reasoning, I didn't want Diluc to cut his training short for my sake.
I, too, needed to strengthen my combat skills, but my body was in no shape for that—if only I had gotten a full night's rest. I should go elsewhere, but I also didn't want to leave him. This was quite the predicament.
"We can train together another time," he said gruffly. "When you're up for it."
Something to look forward to in place of missing him—I could manage with that. Except, I wanted to try something first.
Pointing to his weapon, I asked, "Can I use that?"
Diluc frowned.
"I just want to see how heavy it is," I explained. "I could take a swing or two for fun before I go."
Lie. I missed him already. Stalling would only last so long.
To my surprise, Diluc wordlessly agreed by pulling the claymore from the ground. He held the weapon out to me, pointed side down, and I gingerly wrapped a hand around the grip. He didn't let go quite yet, and I itched to touch his fingers with mine.
"Both hands," he instructed.
It was only after I placed my other hand on the claymore that Diluc released his hold. This wasn't my first time wielding a claymore. Instructor Xiao had let us try out different weapons at the start of the school year, but I certainly wasn't used to the sheer weight. Diluc's claymore, in particular, took me by surprise. The heavy metal nearly dragged me down as I tried to keep a balanced stance.
"You swing this like it weighs nothing," I gasped. "You make it look so easy."
I heard a smile in his voice, though I didn't dare take my attention off of the weapon. "It comes with years of practice. The iron base of Wolf's Gravestone had its weight increased after being imbued with additional power. It's not a weapon that just anyone can wield."
By the time I carried it all the way to the training dummy, the muscles in my arms strained with the effort.
"What was it you said—a swing or two?"
"For fun," I grit out. "I've made an oversight."
"Don't push yourself," he warned and watched as I took the first swing.
It was also the last swing—one that barely nicked the dummy's head. The combination of recovering the follow-through and fighting gravity was too much for me to handle. Diluc seemed to sense I needed help, and he swiftly retrieved the claymore from my hands.
"I went easy on it," I wheezed.
His head inclined respectfully. "But of course."
Light laughter escaped me, then—either because of my ridiculous attempt at wielding Wolf's Gravestone, Diluc's calm response to it, or both. I figured it was more the delighted surprise that I'd been able to fully, actually focus on something—not for any sake other than my own enjoyment. It had been such a small moment, but it mattered just as much as any big revelation.
"That sound," Diluc said softly. "I missed it."
My laughter, though not as frequent, was something I was more than used to. Diluc, on the other hand, kept his full-blown laughter stowed away in one of the nooks and crannies of his heart. I deeply wished to hear it. Was he the ticklish type? No. I would wring more than a chuckle from him through sheer wit alone…one day.
Too busy scheming, I didn't realize that Diluc moved closer until my cheek was pressed against his chest, and his chin lightly rested atop my head. He'd pulled me into a sturdy hug, arms wrapping around my body and blocking out the wisps of cold. It felt as though I was wrapped in a blanket of safety.
I felt his chest rumble against me as he murmured, "I love it when you laugh. I love it when you stubbornly push past your limits, even when you make me feel as though I've been drawn to the edge of a cliff with worry."
His heart thumped in my ear, unfaltering.
"I love your fire of strength and hope. It never extinguishes, not fully, even when you recognize your own fear. Not once have I forgotten your courage and determination, yet I'm overwhelmed with awe each time I'm granted the chance to witness it—witness you."
Diluc shifted slightly, pulling away just enough until I felt a small kiss press to my forehead. Then, his arms released me, and I dazedly watched the fog of our breaths mingle in the air. When my eyes drifted upwards to look at him, my heart stuttered upon seeing the endearment that lifted his lips and softened his eyes.
"It is my honor to look after you, but all is meaningless if you do not do so for yourself."
A lump collected in my throat, but I pushed it away and gave in to his request. After his sincere declarations seized me, how could I not?
I allowed myself one full hour—no more, no less—to indulge in an escape. My eyes squinted at the clock tower that rose taller than most of the campus buildings, noting there was plenty of my budgeted time left even after taking a moment with Diluc.
As for what I could do, while training was out of the question, the physical distraction of swinging that abnormally heavy claymore hadn't been all that bad. A balance between exercise and relaxation was ideal, and what activity was best if not climbing a tree? I'd done so as a child and never lost the talent for grabbing onto branches.
Up in a tree, I hoped to find some sense of peace, but I first had to find the right one. My search took me to the outskirts of campus. I analyzed the seasonal trees that had lost their dense canopy of leaves and decided against testing their brittle branches. Instead, I ventured slightly deeper into the forest where a grove of pine trees rose high and sturdy.
Each of them was perfect. I didn't hesitate for long before claiming the one for me.
Valuing mobility over comfort, I temporarily removed my coat and tied the arms around my waist. Then, I let my mind hone in on the correct placement of my hands and feet as I climbed higher above the ground. The lower branches were free from snow, but my palms soon grew numb as I neared the top half—bits of ice biting into them. This much was good enough—any higher, and the branches were too thin, anyway.
Satisfied, I gathered myself to settle in a comfortable crook and brushed off the bits of tree bark stuck to my hands. Surrounded by the calm sounds of nature and the greenery resistant to winter's chill, I let myself relax.
Phase two: become enlightened. Easier said than done, but also easier done when uninterrupted.
A sudden, jarring rustle of leaves from somewhere nearby nearly spooked me off the branch. I righted myself instantly and sharpened my eyes. Using elemental sight, I saw nothing but green. Using my brain, I knew no regular animal could cause that loud of a disturbance. The branches around me remained steady, but the rustling sound came once more. The culprit was either above or below me. If below, I had the advantage to hop to another tree. If above, well, I really had to watch out.
"Who's there?" I asked into the wilderness.
After confirming there were no suspicious movements underneath me, I dared to crane my neck upwards.
A flash of red disappeared behind the spiky pines, sending powdery snow into my face. I blocked the wetness with my arm. When I lowered it, my heartbeat kicked higher at the surprise of seeing someone delicately perched on a branch directly across from me.
good luck to everyone pulling for dehya (?), cyno, and the weapons! windblume is in full swing, and omg overlapping sucrose content