Disclaimer, I do not own either Naruto or Highschool DxD.
Perverted Potion Prankster is wrote by fairy tail dragon slayer.
Chapter 5
"So… you have anything particular on your mind?" Azazel finally asked, out of curiosity and obligation from the lost bet. "Lately, we've been researching some unique magical techniques, as well as experimenting with new Artificial Sacred Gears, both of which could be used in your Rating Games… What do you say?"
"Tempting proposition, but I need to fully wager my options here before making a decision" she responded, raising her hand in a signal, telling him to not continue with his offerings. Her eyes moved towards the screen in the middle of the room. "Besides, I think it'll be a while before we finish watching Naruto adventures. We can talk afterwards and who knows, I may even get inspired for some sort of reward by his inventions" she teased with a smirk.
"Ho?" Azazel grabbed his chin in interest, leaning her direction. "Believe me, I'll be more than happy to work on something related to this prankster."
One of the doors to the room opened, as Asia and Akeno made their way back inside with pots of hot tea and more than a dozen of cups. Black-haired queen still had the large egg in between her tits, though it seemed to require no additional support to stay in place, or made it harder to move.
Blonde ex-nun looked around the room, seeking the exorcist duo and Issei.
"They haven't returned yet?" she asked with concern for her friends. "Maybe we should look for them?"
"Relax, nun-chan~!" Serafall called out joyfully, waving her hand to ease Asia. "This mansion is huge! Either they rampage in one of the rooms, or got trapped in one of secret chambers Azazel-chan spoke about."
"Maybe you're right… I probably worry too much."
"The only other option would mean they went outside in their pursuit, but nobody's that dumb…"
Silence fell over the room.
Issei, Irina, Xenovia.
Three biggest dumb dumbs among them.
Serafall seemed to sober up instantly, her facial expression hardened. "Crap, maybe we should look after them… Azazel, how big are the chances them being trapped inside one of your secret rooms?"
"Aside from the bunker, low." Fallen angel governor clicked his tongue, summoning few magic circles to access the security system. "Fuck, if they really went outside…"
They all got really concerned, especially Asia, who turned pale in a seconds. Each and every one of them was ready to act, but before either could…
"They did."
It all happened in an instant.
Issei was flung headfirst at Azazel, hitting him straight in the chest and flipping them both over the couch… with the couch. And with Maou couple sitting on it.
Irina was sent flying towards Asia, landing on the poor girl with her tits smashed into the ex-nun face, tripping her over and pinning to the floor. Cups she held were all hurled in the air, but neither broke – all catch by the tentacles extending from Akeno egg.
Xenovia was tossed towards Vali, her ass smashing onto his crotch with enough force, to left crack in the wall against which he was leaning against. As blue-haired girl felled to the floor, so did Vali, trying to catch his breath.
All three were grumbling in pain.
"I swear, some people can be more dense than us."
"Who…"
Most of them were left distracted by and focused on the sudden commotion – especially those hit by their fellow comrades – so only few were quick enough to see… him.
He was floating above the fissure, no wings or even hint of magic around him. He had white hair, partially covered by metal helmet, and overall casual clothes, being a mix of orange and grays. But his face was familiar… to say the least.
"…are…"
The intruder looked at the trio he just saved, a hint of annoyance in his eyes, as he raised his hand and stick out his middle finger. As he turned, he gazed at Serafall and with the same expressionless face, made a peace sign with his other hand. Then he leaned back and fall into the fissure, before any additional person could see him.
"…you?"
Serafall finished her sentence at the moment stranger fallen into the interdimensional anomaly. She blinked, surprised how quickly it all happened, then looked around to see if someone else managed to spot that.
Leaders couch was out of commission in that regard, flipped over completely. Church Trio and Issei as well, considering what happened to them, alongside Rias and rest of her peerage. Vali may have seen something, had he not experienced Xenovia ass so roughly. Her own So-chan seemed to understand what happened, but had no clue about the perpetrator. And she was not even gonna think about Rossweisse.
Ophis was glaring at her.
"He appeared, tossed them and vanished. He was… alien."
Kuroka was confused.
"Why is there a rubber duck diving between my tits?"
Serafall blinked, completely taken aback by those two – Ophis seemed anxious about the intruder and her statement, coming from an ancient being like her, was an ominous sign… but on the contrary to that, there was indeed a rubber duck in Kuroka cleavage.
Only then Serafall noticed something else – there was another rubber duck, swimming in her drink. She swayed her glass to the sides, creating waves and watching the bird move alongside them. Finally, she put away the glass.
If an enigmatic being, looking like a dude from another reality, put a rubber duck in her drink, then she was going to take it as a sign from him that she had enough.
Meanwhile, others started shaking off the initial surprise.
Azazel and Sirzechs were back on their feet, picking up and adjusting the couch, while Grayfia was trying to help Issei stand up on his wobbling legs. On the other side of the room, after regaining his composure, Vali was trying to help Xenovia get back on her feet as well. Both she and red dragon had problems with that – her right arm was limp, clearly broken, while he… was in a lot more of pain than the girl.
Irina on the other hand didn't even tried to stand – instead, she rolled off Asia, who immediately begun her treatment, focusing Twilight Healing on the angel left arm.
"Damn!" Azazel finally yelled out, looking around. "The hell just happened?! I heard someone's voice and the next thing I know, I got hit with Issei."
"I… was running… got cornered… I jumped out… and then…" Issei hissed, his legs shaking in pain. "We got dizzy… and…"
"HE appeared out of nowhere" Xenovia took the narration from Issei, seeing as he had trouble with formulating even simple sentences. "I though he wanted to disarm us, but only I got my dominant hand broken – Irina her left and Issei… Well, he seemed to be aiming for Issei right arm, but he got hard when Irina backflip flashed her new underwear, so that guy… You know…"
Every single man in the room winced, instinctively covering their crotches. They understood.
Azazel grimace was the most notable, but while he felt sorry for Issei, other thing linger on his mind. "Who the hell is this guy you're talking about?"
"It all happened in a flash…" blue-haired knightess stated with a frown. "I didn't managed to take a look at his face…"
"Neither did I… and don't even bother asking Ise-kun, he got hit first" Irina explained, gesturing to Asia that she is fine. "Speaking of, go and heal him… never though someone could have such high-pitched scream…"
"R-right…" blonde girl got us and immediately run towards the boy, knelt and started his treatment. She blushed a bit, curiosity winning her over. "You… You guys can… get it broken…?"
"Yes, penis fracture – can happen when one is hard, hurts like hell." Azazel sighed at her innocence. "Anyway, back to the topic…"
"I saw him" Serafall spoke pretty calmly. "He… seemed annoyed at them, maybe because he had to saved them?"
"That would somehow explain this… harsh treatment" Grayfia deduced. "But who exactly was it?"
Leviathan looked around nervously, then finally sighed, feeling that she can speak. "He… looked like Naruto."
"WHAT?!"
The uproar and shock were abrupt, absolutely not unexpected, however, wanting to prevent further escalation, Serafall raised her hands.
"Not the same one we watched, if that makes any sense…" she began her explanation. "He had white hairs and seemed different… Calm."
"Alien" Ophis added to female Maou description. "Not like the one in the show."
Azazel sit back at the couch and grabbed his chin in thought, pondering on the matter. Finally, he sighed in resignation. "We have insufficient knowledge to speculate on this topic… However, my wild guess would be that either it was him, or some alternate version of him, no matter how ridiculous that may sound."
"Version of him?" Gasper asked, tilting his head in curiosity.
"Think about it, we watched his story and we already seen some of us in there" Azazel pointed out for the dhampire. "Thus, those are our alternates, or maybe we're their alternates… doesn't matter. The point is, if there are multiple versions of us, then it's possible that there multiple versions of him."
"Uh… Mhm…"
"But for a version of him to be able to travel freely into a different universe?" Sirzechs begun wondering himself. "Would he be powerful enough to do so?"
"Hell if I know!" fallen angel responded with a voice raised from irritation. "Our knowledge about the alternative universes is limited to this fissure! From what we saw so far, our alternatives powers may be on similar level to our own, but that may as well vary between worlds or individuals themselves!"
Finally, Kuroka raised her hand to get others attention. "So… Any idea why would he stuck up a rubber duck between my tits?"
Azazel blinked at that, then lowered his gaze onto her cleavage. He blinked again and focused. Normally that focus would be on the wonderful globs of flesh, but now he was far more intrigued by the toy between them.
"I got one too!" Serafall exclaimed rather joyfully, raising her glass with the duck.
Grigori leader focused now on the Leviathan duck, then back on the nekomata. Eventually, he just scratched the back of his head.
"No idea… Mind letting me this duck after we're done for tests?"
"I'm not giving up my interdimensional rubber duck, nya~!" Kuroka covered her breasts and with them, the toy, as if she was protecting herself from a pervert. "Find your own~!"
"I'm keeping mine too!" Serafall added defensively.
"Mhm… Maybe that's just his thing?" redhead Maou put out a hypothesis. "You know, powerful and ancient beings are sometimes a bit… weird, so maybe that's what's going on?"
Azazel deadpanned at current Lucifer, but could not argue with his weird logic. He and Leviathan sitting a bit further were a walking example of this assumption.
"All things considered, I absolutely won't be surprised if that rubber duck will turn out to be some kind of doomsday device…" Vali stated suddenly, being engulfed by Asia Twilight Healing light alongside Xenovia. "Maybe we should just get back to watching, no quarrel of fighting involved… at major ones."
Vali Lucifer, White Dragon Emperor, ceasing all willingness to cause fighting. If others weren't convinced to stop argue before, they were now. Asia finished her treatment, just as Akeno finished pouring the tea for anyone willing and soon, everyone slowly withdraw to their spots.
'But why only I got my dominant hand broken?' Xenovia wondered on her way back. 'I though he wanted to disarm us, but that wasn't the case… Irina got her left arm broken, not her dominant, and the same was about to happen to Issei with his right hand, before he got hard… Is that connected?'
Blue-haired knightess continued her private brainstorm, while the rest sit back and get comfy before the next session. Snacks, sweets and sodas moved among them. Only Azazel took another moment, finding and reclaiming the controller that was send flying with the couch, before he finally sit down and pushed the switch.
"Chapter 5 A Nice Lunch Break"
"Okay, let's be honest" Yuuto spoke up first. "Considering previous occurrences, how big are chances for this title not being a bait and this episode being just calm and easygoing?"
Sona adjusted her glasses. "Small, but admittedly, not zero."
Kiba smiled anxiously in response. "Yeah…"
-and drizzle in 2 ounces of Toad spawn, and when the mixture turns a darker brown, it is ready to be cooled for 30 minutes.
After cooling the potion, it will become an even darker brown, at which point you add in the final ingredient. Boomslang venom mixed with 3 crushed four leaf clovers, and add in magic power at the stroke of midnight.
"…so much for a normal episode" he added immediately. "That was quick."
Issei chuckled at his friend instant response. "Indeed!"
"Another recipe?" Asia has tilted her head, reading through the text second time. "What for this time?"
"Not sure, we got only the final part and only a few ingredients are typed there" Sona responded by pointing those out. "Not enough to determine anything…"
"Something pervy, that's for sure…" Irina stated with a sigh.
"Uh, writing these down so I don't forget them is so annoying." Naruto stated as he sipped his latte, extra honey. He was just sitting at a cafe outside of Vatican City, which should put him on high alert all things considered. The fact was that he was right outside of the territory of the people who gave Xenovia and Irina the missions to chase him down, but right now Xenovia and Irina were on a mission outside of the country, and had been on that mission for a couple of days now.
"My, oh my…" Akeno gasped in pleasant surprise, placing hand on her cheek. "Learning from his own mistake… Now, that's an improvement~!"
"Rather arrogance" Irina snarled in response, pouting angrily at black-haired queen. "How cocky can he be? He's chilling just a few steps away from the Holy See!"
"Darkest spot is always right under the candle" she retorted immediately, smiling sweetly. "Besides, shouldn't you be proud right now? He's concerned only about you two and wouldn't dare to get this close otherwise."
Irina blinked in surprise, as the thought clearly didn't occurred to her before. Almost straight away her face got adorned by a wide and proud smile, as she puffed out her chest.
"Probably because we're the highest exorcist that will be assigned to his case" Xenovia stated, finally back from her own world of thoughts. "Top-exorcist would likely not be involved, kept on a stand-by for a serious danger."
The smile was vanquished just as quickly as it was born from the angels face, replaced by another angry pout. "You didn't had to put it that way."
"Sorry…"
Sometimes he hated his shitty memory.
Still, recording everything he did allowed him to look at all of his failures and experiments, and see where he could improve. He had entire notebooks filled with nothing but his failures, and those notebooks were his precious treasure.
"His failures are… his treasures?" Issei asked, tilting his head in confusion. "I get why he keeps the records on experiments, but why be so proud at just failures, not the successes?"
"Trial and error, obviously" said Sona. "I'm pretty sure he's happy with every favorable result of his experiments, but those must be just a tiny spec of his failures and because of that, they are for more valuable to an alchemist."
"Huh…?"
"They cover far more ground" Rias stated quickly. "Success means only that the result of a recipe was correct, period. Failures of different magnitude means that either some ingredients were wrong, were added in wrong order or in wrong amount, or mixture was made improperly… Depending on what the failed result was, of course."
"Ah!" Gasper clasped his hands in understanding. "I see… So even a single failure may give him multiple ways to improve."
"Exactly."
"Hey."
"Shit, he's busted…"
"... Hey..." Naruto stated when he realized that Xenovia was standing in front of him, in her casual clothes, and some bandages wrapped around her arm. Her arm was in a sling as well, showing that she had injured it. "You cut your hair." Naruto stated, and Xenovia welcomed herself to sitting down across from him.
"…or not?" Issei tilted his head in surprise. "Broken arm, cut hair, all understandable to me… but you spotted your greatest foe and the only thing you do, is to welcome him and joined him at the table?"
"Yeah?" There was a clear confusion in her question. "Like, what was I supposed to do? Charged at him in the middle of Rome, right outside of Vatican, with nothing but bare fists… one bare fist?"
"Yeah?!" he nearly yelled, with his eyes wide in genuine shock at what he just heard. "Knowing you, that was the first thing I expected to happen!"
"Seriously?" Xenovia deadpanned at him. "You realize that with an injured arm and no weapon, I would be no match for him? Hell, I would probably be arrested by some nearby officer!"
Red Dragon Emperor eyed the girl suspiciously, before he finally opened his mouth.
"Who the hell are you and what did you do to Xenovia?"
*PUFF*
Before anyone could react, blue-haired knight grabbed one of the larger pillows and swing it with all of her might in a downward strike. It landed perfectly at Issei head, with enough force to rip open upon impact, releasing a torrent of feathers.
Hyoudou was however unamused by that, but there was a content smile on his face.
"I take that back, that's you, alright."
Ex-exorcist clenched her fist in irritation, but calming influence of her friends hands resting on her shoulders managed to quench her thirst for violence. While Asia genuinely hoped to calm the situation, Irina was just smiling nervously – happy that Issei was quicker that her with this comment.
She looked at him.
"About three years ago, my hair became a liability and I cut it off to make it shorter, and I wasn't paying too much attention and it got long again. It got tangled up in my recent mission, and when I'm on my way back from getting it cut, I see you here." Xenovia grabbed the menu from Naruto and she started to look it over. She wasn't on a mission to go after him, since whenever she was assigned a mission, it negated her last mission in her mind.
"I still think you look good with long hair" said plainly Irina. "Especially since you dyed part of them."
"Nah, not my style" she responded immediately, not even a single thought spared for the possibility. "After some time, it stopped being just a practical thing… I just do feel better with them short."
"Agreed, gives you nice tomboyish vibe." Serafall joyfully joined in their talk. "Works especially well combined with your strong personality and fit body."
Xenovia blinked, then shifted in her place, feeling both a bit uncomfortable and embarrassed from being praised by Leviathan herself. "T-thanks, I guess…"
"You're welcome~ "
"Though you could work a bit on your attitude" Irina said nonchalantly, basing her chin on her joined hands. "Sometimes your focus is narrowed down to 'mission this, mission that', while other times you twist an maneuver around."
"Excuse me?" former exorcist rebuked, clearly annoyed by the angel words. "Last time I recall, was when I decided it would be best to cooperate with Rias to get back Excalibur fragments… How did that turned out?"
"…well…"
"We attacked Freed and were confronted by Kokabiel, so I decided to adjust and flee, while you tried to fight!"
"Hey, but I tried to flee as well!" Irina responded immediately to that. "I didn't managed to because…"
"…you were unsure you should back off and possibly discard the orders." Xenovia finished her friend words. "Even under such a threat, YOUR focus was narrowed down, not mine!"
"Please, calm down" meekly said Asia, raising her hands in soothing gesture. "Don't argue, okay?"
Neither of them stopped staring at each other, but they did stopped growling and making such angry faces.
Not to mention, they were in a public space and she didn't want to become a everyone's masturbation material. She didn't know what kind of tricks that Naruto had, so she would just settle for sitting down.
"See? A rational thinking!" Xenovia pointed out with a victorious smirk. "Assess the situation and act accordingly, no point in making a move if it only leads to your defeat."
Irina clicked her tongue and hissed in annoyance, unable to counter her partner logic. Finally, she pouted in defeat, earing another victorious smirk from Xenovia.
"Still, kind of surprising hearing that from you" said Kiba. "Your battle tactic usually comes down to 'hit it until it dies', with some small twists here and there."
Gasper nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah, even outside of the battle she usually has the most basic approach."
The angel girl turned her head and gave the boys a thumb up in thanks, as they gulped down, seeing that Xenovia also turned around, giving them a death glare.
"Ah, I see... so we're on friendly terms right now then?" Naruto asked her when he realized that she was out of uniform, and not hunting him down.
Xenovia thought about it for a moment.
"I swear, if she will now proclaim him an enemy, after all of that speech, I'll call that clowning" Issei stated in a bit of outrage.
Xenovia froze, a drop of cold sweat flowing down her face. She was confident in herself, yet she could not say if her counterpart was on the same…
"Well, I have more of a respect for you I would say. You've managed to escape me several times now, so you're worthy of recognition, and you are very skilled in magecraft. I've tasted that firsthand... which is why you owe me lunch." Xenovia stated as she gestured for a waiter to come over and take her order. "Yes, I'll have a Pasta Con Pomodoro E Basilico, and... that drink looks good... what he is having. You don't have a problem with paying for me, do you?" Xenovia asked Naruto with a raised eyebrow.
She quietly sigh in relief. Her counterpart was not going to ruin her image.
"A bit twisted logic, but considering all of the tentacles, understandable" said Azazel, barely stopping himself from giggling. "I would even say it's a pretty cheap repayment."
"Never got fucked, nor any of it happened in public, so not that big of a deal" ex-exorcist replied plainly, shrugging her shoulder. "Besides, I believe we already discussed it – he's a rouge mage and alchemist, yet worst he does are pervy pranks… Not that big of a deal, all things consider."
"Especially when compared to rouge vampires, mad exorcist, stray devils, psycho fallen angels…" Irina started counting all of the unpleasant encounters with most dangerous enemies of the Church. "List goes on and on…"
Issei shivered, remembering one of such encounters himself. "Yeah, stray devils are pretty fucked up…"
"Viser?" Yuuto asked curiously.
"Viser."
"Viser?" Asia repeated the word, now curious herself. "Who…"
Koneko raised her hand, stopping the ex-nun from going further. "Don't ask for details, pretty twisted female devil… Weak, but disgusting."
"I… I see…"
She didn't dig any deeper, especially after seeing Issei mood getting pretty gloomy at the reminder of the said stray devil.
...
"Seems fair, sure." Naruto shrugged his shoulders.
"Didn't liked that pause, but seems he's okay with that…" Sona noticed, readjusting her glasses. "Pasta Con Pomodoro E Basilico… don't think I've ever tried that one, may need to change that."
"Then when I'm on my next diplomatic visit in Vatican, I'm taking you with me!" Serafall declared joyfully.
"Not what I…" Sona raised a finger, wanting to dissuade her sister from the idea, but quickly gave up on that. "Never mind…"
"Just me and my So-chan… It's a date then~ "
"No, it's not!"
Once again, other people in the room decided to not pay attention to the weird exchange between the sisters.
She has been anally fucked by his tentacle monster before, and she was often on the bad end of his experiments. Right now they weren't exactly enemies, so he didn't see why he couldn't make up for the things he had done to her before. The next time they met each other, she would no doubt be trying to capture him, and he would be using some experiment to mess with her so that he could escape.
"Ha! Now that's what I call a healthy and fun rivalry!" Azazel laughed at the alchemist logic, turning his head towards Vali, with a smug smirk. "See, Vali? You should take notes on how to treat your rival!"
"On treating them dinner, or using tentacles on them?" silver-haired boy retorted with a smug smirk, shaking his head in denial. "No, I don't think I'll do."
"Thank God… Au!" Issei called out in relief and immediately hissed in pain, rubbing his head temple in calming manner. "Stings every single time…"
"Bah, you both are no fun!"
"More than fair, you kind of owe me." Xenovia mentioned as the waiter walked off.
"She's got a point… though not sure a mere dinner is enough of a compensation for such experience" Grayfia stated bluntly, crossing hands under her bust.
Sirzechs chuckled at his wife words. "While I agree with you, dear, I got a feeling there is little to no place for negotiation…"
Naruto stared her down.
Akeno smirked deviously, seeing Naruto expression. "Definitely no place for negotiation~!"
"Stop trying to capture me, and bad things will stop happening to you. I only do these things to you, and Irina, because you have been chasing after me. Do you think I enjoy..." Naruto stopped talking when Xenovia stared at him, her eyebrow raising."... good point, I really enjoy the pervy things I have done to you two. Still though, they wouldn't happen if you stopped trying to take me to the church." Naruto had to admit he liked it.
"Perv" Koneko stated dully, staring at Naruto face on the screen. "Even more than you, Issei."
"Yes, he is!" Red Dragon Emperor admitted proudly, glancing towards the petite rook. "But in his defense… that's a self-defense – you cannot blame him for trying to save his own skin."
"By making hentai scenes happen in real life?" she retorted right away with a raised eyebrow. "Not defendable."
Issei grumped and closed his eyes, crossing arms on his chest with a stern look, engulfed in deep thought. Finally, his eyes shot open and a proud smile appeared on his face.
"At least he had the decency to not admit straight into her face, that he does enjoy the sights…"
*BONK*
"Not defendable!" Irina repeated vocally after Koneko.
She was standing over her childhood friend with a large staff of pure light in hand. He himself was now lying face down in the pillows, a stroke of steam coming out of the back of his head from heavy and VERY effective bonk.
Petite rook and reincarnated angel exchanged a glare of understanding, as well as mutual thumb up in agreement. Then they all returned to watching.
Xenovia and Irina were hot babes, it wasn't his fault that he was sexually attracted to them, and seeing them stripped naked with perverted things happening to them turned him on. He wouldn't do it to them if they stopped chasing after him, and that was a fact. His pranks against civilians were simple, but his pranks didn't tend to go to the same extremes that Xenovia and Irina suffered from when they tried to catch him.
Both Irina and Xenovia blinked, as a tiny blush formed on their faces.
He may have been their opponent and a degenerate on top of that, but getting praised for their beauty, even in such a vulgar way, felt pretty nice.
"He's right though" said Azazel. "You indeed are hot babes, so you two specifically chasing him is synonymous to playing with fire… Therefore, you're somewhat asking for that treatment."
"And you're asking to get your ass kicked."
Neither of the exorcist duo said that – it was Koneko who backed them up again, eyeing the fallen angel alongside Xenovia and Irina, with the latter still holding the light-made bonk stick and patting it onto her hand, threateningly.
"Woah, why so aggressive?" Azazel raised his hands in defense, surprised, but just as quickly his face lit up and his lips turned into a smirk, as he figured it out. "Wait, could it be… Are you irritated?"
Irina and Xenovia both blinked hearing that, taken aback by the strange statement. "What? Why would she…?"
"Insecurity… or jealously." Grigori leader immediately raised a finger to make his point. "Or both, you two are targeted specifically because of your voluptuous bodies, after all."
Exorcist duo blushed harder at the statement, covering themselves with arms, as simultaneously their eyes widen and darted towards unfazed Koneko.
Unfazed, or just not giving a fuck.
"Fuck off…" she finally growled under their gazes.
"See?" Azazel send Xenovia a smug smirk. "I told you, insecurities kicked in."
"Can't help it, I'm under orders. Your practicing magecraft without a proper license, and while that can be forgiven since your parents were a mage and alchemist, the fact your cause trouble for people can't be overlooked. You know, you could join the church, if you promised to stop with the perverted experiments." Xenovia explained to him.
Naruto put his arms in front of his body in an X motion.
"Well, that's a refusal, if I ever seen one" Azazel stated with a chuckle.
"A-anyway, as you can see, we're just fulfilling our superiors directive" ex-exorcist responded in an attempt to divert attention and quell the rising tension in the air. "Not like we have much choice in the…"
Fallen angel rolled his eyes.
"You could always file a complaint, I'm sure cardinals or at least archbishops would look at it, considering your enemy is quite skilled pervert" he shut down the Durandal wielder. "Besides, you're going at him even on your free time, outside of official missions."
"Cause it's personal!" Irina fumed stating that. "How many times the other us got humiliated or… assaulted?! Of course we would try to get back at him at every possible turn!"
"That's what I meant about it being your own fault." Azazel sighed, rubbing the base of his nose. "You're too stubborn for your own good… Or is it prideful wrath? Wait a minute, are you using Naruto as an excuse to sin?"
"Eh? Wha…?"
"Must say, that's kind of smart" fallen angel stated while rubbing his chin, quite impressed. "Is it just wrath and pride… or is there a bit of lust there as well?"
Xenovia was dumbfounded by the statement, literally lacking words to respond to this baseless accusation.
straight up stopped working.
"Nope, I refuse. This is so much fun, and I know church mages are given strict orders to only conduct approved experiments. There is no way I could work under strict conditions. I mean, watch this-" Naruto reached into his pocket, and he pulled out two vials. Naruto mixed them together and shook them up. As a waiter passed by, Naruto reached behind the man and poured the vial into a coffee that he had on his tray.
Asia pouted at his action. "That's naughty…"
"Indeed it is~!" Serafall chirped joyfully, winking towards annoyed ex-nun. "Such are true pranks, but rest assured. I doubt it'll be anything dangerous… or perverted."
Issei's eyes almost jolted out of his eye sockets hearing that. "Excuse me? Have we watched the same thing?"
"They are in public, duh." Female Maou deadpanned at the perverted pawn. "He will not pull out any tentacles or magical aphrodisiacs, simply because they are right outside of Vatican… and he has an exorcist sitting right next to him."
Red Dragon Emperor wanted to retort immediately, but before he got a chance, Sona spoke up.
"Doing anything lewd in this situation equals putting a target on his back." She backed up her sister, who responded by clasping her hands and forming them into heart shape. "So, Xenovia can just call across the street and at least few priests and exorcist would come to catch him."
After a moment of stern thought, Hyoudou just sighed in resignation, getting the point.
"Someone is still going to drink that…" Asia whispered softly, quiet enough that no one else managed to notice.
When he reached a table, and handed the coffee to a man sitting down with his family, Naruto gestured to them and Xenovia payed very close enough.
Everyone in the room similarly leaned forward, watching carefully for the result of added concoction…
*Massive Ass Blasting, Pants Ripping, Shitting Sounds*
"Ooooooh!"
…and they were given quite impressive orchestra of very improper noises. Some among them even rapidly backed away, surprised by the sudden ruckus.
The cafe burst into laughter as the man stood up with a massive brown stain on the back of his pants, mere moments after he took a sip of his coffee. Naruto gestured to the man as he ran by them, and Xenovia had to cover her mouth, because even she was giggling at the unfortunate accident that the man had in his pants.
"Oh my…"
Rias had the decency to cover her mouth, since as surprised as she was, the suddenness and absurdity of the prank managed to cause her lips to twist into a small smirk.
The others on the other hand…
Azazel, Sirzechs and Issei laughed out loud, not caring at all about any means of subtlety. Kiba and Gasper only smirked under their noses, while avoiding eye contact with others. Vali on the other hand just snickered shortly under his nose.
Girls reactions were much more varied.
While Serafall and Kuroka didn't even tried hiding with their genuine laughs, Akeno and Xenovia followed Rias example, giggling while covering their mouths, and Irina was looking away, blushing and trying to hide her own grin out of embarrassment.
Only Grayfia sighed at the prank, while Asia pouted annoyed, although the corners of their lips were twisted upright in amusement, likely unbeknown to themselves. Only Ophis showed no facial reaction at all.
"No way I would be able to do that if I stopped being a lone agent. I love pranks, and I love pervy stuff too, and most of all... well, honestly I just don't know what I want to do with my life yet. I just feel that I need to figure it out on my own though." Naruto explained as another waiter brought Xenovia her plate of food, and with her one good arm she started to eat it. She was going to enjoy her free meal.
She considered his words.
"Okay, okay…" Sirzechs put himself together quite quickly, all thanks to the sharp glare his wife was sending him. "Jokes aside, that's a pretty well thought out answer. He's still young. Joining a strict organization like Church, while not knowing yet what you may want from life, could lead to either miserable one or force you to rebel."
"He may not exactly know what he wants from life, but he surely understands his values when refusing to join" Azazel stated with a wide grin. "Chaotic perversion, if I have to name it… that does not sit well with Christian doctrine."
Xenovia nodded and shrugged her shoulders. "Can't disagree, he really may be unsuitable for the Church."
"May be?!" Irina turned her head so fast, she almost whistled in sudden shot of pain. "I'll believe in redemption for all, but someone need to show a desire to change first, otherwise it's a lost cause. HE is a lost cause, his sins must be literally beaten out of him."
"Careful, we have a little crusader angel here!" Azazel shouted out in between his giggles, causing Irina to pout angrily at him. "Cute one at that!"
"What was that potion made for?"
"What do you mean?" Issei tilted his head in confusion. "To make the guy, well… shit himself."
Fallen angel governor however shook his head hearing that. "Nah, I don't think it's that simple… The effect is correct, but my inner scientist tells me there was a purpose there."
"It cleanses the entire digestive system, fixing anything that is wrong with it. Side effect is that everything that is wrong with your stomach and intestines comes flying out your ass, high speed too. It's not actually a laxative, it's a regenerative drug for the belly... side effects and all." Naruto chuckled to himself. A man in his middle age like that would have some stomach issues, and Naruto just took care of all of it for the man. Whatever might have been wrong with his stomach was going to be fixed, since he practically had an entirely new digestive system.
"Told ya."
The boy has not responded to that. He, alongside few others former humans, flinched while imagining the inner working of the mixture. Looking at the guy who just went through the whole process, aside from excretion itself, it seems the whole process was fully painless.
Still, imagination did it's work.
"Pretty gruesome in details, but may be very effective" said Grayfia, as one of those unaffected by the potion idea. "Re-growing entire digestive system not only will cure any infections, but also mutations, such as cancer or even necrosis."
"Indeed" Azazel agreed with the maid, rubbing his chin in excitement. "It's genius in its simplicity – why bother finding a cure for one thing then the other, if you can deal with all of them by removing and replacing the source of the problem… Genius, I tell you."
Asia, despite being a bit disturbed by the mental image of the treatment, actually lighten up a bit, smirking slightly even. "So… it's not just prank, he actually helped him."
"Yup!" fallen angel immediately confirmed with a thumb up. "I'll even say that his humiliation and Naruto fun from it was simply the payment for this treatment… If he actually needed one, but hey – better safe than sorry!"
"Yeah…"
Xenovia hummed in thought, and smiled lightly.
The food was delicious.
"Bet it is, since you're not paying for it" grumped Koneko, still remembering the time they treated exorcist duo when they were begging on the street.
They remembered it too, judging from their nervous smiles and rubbing of their heads.
"Why don't you make money off that potion?"
"Huh… Good question, nya~." Kuroka tilted her head in interest, since the potion effect seemed really incredible. "He didn't tried yet, maybe?"
Azazel, as always was quick to answer. "Don't think so, the true reason must be…"
"I tried, but people don't like the thought of shitting out their entire digestive system and regrowing a new one. Hey, by the way... want to become my assistant for an experiment I'm planning?" Naruto offered her, thought he was pretty sure she was going to deny him.
"…that." He pointed out with a wave of his hand. "Humans are delicate and for just as many as for our friends here, the merely though of the inner workings of this potion may be repulsive."
Kuroka grimaced at that, taking a quick peek at others around. "Yeah, I can see that…"
Even for her, who faced death from time to time and was capable of healing, the actual idea of expelling her own innards was unnerving at best, so a much less durable humans may really be frightened by that.
"I do wonder about that experiment he mentioned" said Serafall, touching her lips in a cute thinking motion. "He immediately thought Xenovia-chan will refuse, after all…"
Blue-haired girl gave Naruto on the screen a quick look. "It's either something akin to this mixture he just presented, or…"
"Pervy, then no."
"…that – either way, yes, it's a no."
Serafall smirked cheekily. "So is it a yes?"
"No, it's a no."
"Meh, I'll just hire a hooker then, and alter her memory a little... I'm still not great at it, but I'm sure I can make her think she was paid to be a part of a gangbang or something." Naruto huffed as he leaned forward, depressed.
"Gangbang?" Asia tilted her head, curiously, as she heard the term before, either from Issei or Akeno, but was unaware of its meaning. Hooker was much simpler though, so she could understand that overall it was a sexual thing. "What is…"
She didn't finished, as Irina face turned bright red, with steam puffing out from the top of her head. "W-what kind of experiment would end up in such a mess?!"
"Tentacle one, most likely." Azazel deadpanned at the angel girl. "I'm more surprised you, of all people, know about gangbangs…"
Irina blinked in surprise, then she squeaked and covered her face in shame. Of all things she could say or do, she did the one she was most embarrassed to be pointed out to her.
"What is a gangbang?" Asia repeated and this time finished her question, towards her angel friend, who seemed to know the term. "Irina?"
She peeked through her eyes at the blonde girl, gulp down the lump in her throat, and finally moved closer, to whisper to her ear. "You see…"
Nobody heard what she said, although almost everyone knew the definition itself, but there was a moment of dead silence afterwards. Slowly, Asia begin turning red just as Irina did before her, with the same streak of vapor emanating from her head.
"T-t-that's… It's…"
"There goes Asia innocence…" Xenovia sighed, as she spoke sarcastically. "Great job Irina!"
"She asked for it!"
"But you could just divert it, you damn nympho-angel!"
"B-b-but…" Asia was still processing all that she just learned. "O-one girl being… by several…"
Azazel could not stop himself but laugh at the situation. "Ah, innocence loss… The best or the worst moment of young maidens life."
Xenovia was going to regret this.
"... And what exactly would I have been doing if I accepted?"
Irina rapidly turned her head hearing that, then she looked back at 'their' Xenovia. "Did you seriously asked him that, knowing what he does?!"
Durandal wielder just bite her lip, knowing fully well how foolish it was of her counterpart, completely unable to form a defense of her actions.
"Curiosity is the first step to hell, or so they say" summarized Sirzechs.
"…yeah."
"Oh, glad you asked-"
"Nevermind, I don't want to know, just nod your head if it involves tentacles or slime." Xenovia spoke, and he nodded his head.
"At least she aware of what and who she asked" Sona summarized the other Xenovia response. "And as suspected, Azazel was right on his assumption, since slimes don't produce any semen-like substance."
"Some does, in a reaction similar to soap" he corrected her immediately. "Though the consistency is different and it does not possess any useful properties."
"I think I've got it down, but more than that, I want to test a potion I think I've completed. The potion will restore a girl's hymen, so-"
Irina tilted her head in confusion. "Why though…?"
"I don't have one, mine broke during my training. Most athletic girls like me break them by accident, or rather years of using tampons. What use would that potion even... fetishes?" Xenovia realized after a moment, and Naruto nodded his head with a grin. She realized that Naruto planned to sell the potion to women who had a fetish for losing their virginity, or even wanted to pretend to be virgins for their lovers. "Wouldn't your healing potion work for that?"
"I can understand wanting to have your first time with a lover, but… fetishes?" Irina tilted her head in the other direction at that. "Like… I don't even know!"
"Masochists" said Akeno, licking her lips with a wicked smirk. "Or sadists. Tricking your partner into thinking he's your first… It can have a nice twist on dominating him, since he would not expect you to be experienced."
Both Asia and Irina blushed even harder at that, averting everyone's eyes.
Rias sighed at her queen. "Akeno, you really are twisted."
"Tee-hee~!"
"I'd like to back the other Xenovia question" Issei stated suddenly, since the other topic was not of much interest to him. "Is a simple healing potion not enough?"
"Actually, no, you would think. Since losing the hymen thing is a natural part of life for girls, healing potions don't actually heal them. Otherwise girls with regeneration powers would keep regrowing it... oh, I need to find a girl from the Phenex family to experiment with, and see-"
"Heh, okay, no need for further explanation then!" he called out, chuckling at how timed his question was.
Rias on the other hand though on what Naruto just said. "Should we… include Ravel when watching this?"
"May be a good idea" her brother affirmed her notion, receiving an understanding nod from Azazel. "Will think about sending her an invitation when we'll have a moment. I have a feeling her counterpart may have some involvement in the future."
Xenovia glared at him.
"Someone's clearly not happy with that idea" Kiba noticed right away, jovial smile on his face.
"I can forgive your experiments to some degree, but I will lose my respect for you if you ally yourself with the enemies of my Lord." Xenovia actually did respect his skills. The things he put his skills towards might not be something she respected, but the way he had such a passion for his work was admirable.
He was also a hard worker who went and got his ingredients on his own, most of the time, and put a ton of effort into his creations.
Azazel rubbed his chin in thought, then raised his finger to make a point. "I understand the logic behind this, but should Michel not loosen up the rules after God's death, even basic magic would be prohibited in the Church – before that, even alchemy was looked down upon, as the means of trying to surpass the old man."
"Your point?"
"No, your counterpart." He could not stop himself from making this silly joke of a wordplay. "From such radical point of view, he already is an enemy – alchemist creating and twisting life, heretic mage and a pervert, ergo, a sinner."
"Yes, but with admirable skills" she pointed out. "Besides, everyone can be forgiven, if they regret and repent. But dealing with devils was seen as crossing a line of no return, just look at Asia for an example. I bet even now not everyone are content with the alliance we have."
"Can confirm that" Irina backed her friend on the last statement. "Constant bickering about tempting angels and holy ones with sins."
Azazel just shrug off his shoulders. "Yeah, cannot argue with that, Church is pretty strict with any devil-related stuff… Still, in his case, that would be just an icing on a cake."
Naruto raised his hands.
"Hey now, I've never met a devil before, but I read about them from my parent's notes. I just think it would be cool to experiment on them. My Dad's notes say that the Gremory clan possess amazing magical talent, so I was thinking if I could get some hair from a Gremory, I could make a potion that could negate magical talent... sounds cool, right?" Naruto asked her. The very thought that he could negate something that came so naturally to a certain devil clan would be something that would put his name on the map. "Oh, and if I could apply it to my tentacles, to give them a magic resistance... all the better."
Rias shivered. So did Sirzechs. So did Grayfia.
Having their family name mentioned alongside words 'experiment on' and 'negate magical talent' gave each of them a bit of anxiety. There are constant attempts at researching anti-magic and countermeasures against specific abilities, but they always follow certain rules – anti-magic works against all kind of abilities, but can be overpowered by simply much larger force; countermeasures on the other hand can negate of seal certain powers, are much harder to deal with, but can be circumvented by other abilities.
But to extract their family genetic magical talent, to then use it in creation of potion that can negate magical talent itself? That was not only clever, it circumvented their entire power system.
From anyone's else mouth, that would be a silly and empty threat.
From Naruto's mouth, that was like a promise.
"And he wants to make his tentacle magic resistant from that?" Rias finally spoken, with a hint of disbelief in her voice. "How would that even work? Unless he can alter the property of the potion itself…"
Azazel chuckled to himself, understanding the possibilities. "Either he does… or those tentacles would not be simply magic resistant, they would disrupt magic casting itself."
"Is… that big of a difference?" Issei spoked up quite confused.
"Of course!" Vali snorted in response. "Magic resistance has its limit, so it's possible to harm someone with strong enough spell… but if you're unable to even cast the spell, then it won't hurt it at all. It's a basic knowledge, you now?"
"Not everyone is such a battle maniac like you" Azazel countered in place of Issei. "Anyway, tentacles are quite strong by themselves, so magic was the easiest option to deal with them… With either high magic resistance or magic disruption, dealing with them may be quite problematic."
Every single female in the room shivered at that.
Xenovia paused.
Azazel blinked at that reaction, eyeing blue-haired girl.
"... You know what, I actually approve of that idea. If you do make a potion that can negate devil magic, be sure to let me know. So, what are you writing?" Xenovia watched Naruto's hand move over a notebook, and how he was recording something in a foreign language. "Ah, that is Irina's native tongue, Japanese. I can't read it." Xenovia admitted.
Fallen angel deadpanned at her. "So NOW you're okay with such experiments?!"
"Hey, deal with a devil is one thing" she began defending herself, "but he wants to make a potion that will counter devils, not work with them. Therefore, the other me can let it slide."
"You do realize that he has to either make a deal or kidnap a Gremory member, right?" Sona asked her with a raised eyebrow. "Either way, the Church will be unable to work with him, either because of his pact or because he'll be a wanted criminal. You know this, right?"
"…fuck!"
"I take that as a 'no'." Sona sighed in disbelief.
Naruto and Xenovia were speaking Italian at the moment, but Naruto was naturally geared towards writing in Japanese, a language she didn't understand very well. Irina taught her enough to hold a slight conversation, but not much more than that.
"That's still likely my greatest accomplishment" whispered Irina, shedding a tear at the memory. "Teaching that muscle-head was not easy…"
Xenovia clicked her tongue. "Said another meat-head."
"Huh?! You speak fluently in Italian and barely in Japanese, while I'm good in both of them and in English as well."
"Everyone know at least a bit of English in those times!"
"You would be surprised!"
"Woah, you girls really were smart." Asia gentle voice stopped their argue before it escalated further. "I know only Italian at the time."
Exorcist duo became a bit flustered, seeing Asia troubles expression. They both waved their hands in defense.
"Y-you know, I moved from Japan to England, it's only natural I learned the language" said panicked Irina. "A-and it took me a bit before fully learning Italian, too…"
Xenovia jumped in with her friend. "H-honestly you make a better progress in learning Japanese than I did at the time, too."
Ex-nun really did seem to cheer up from that, even laughing a bit at their immediate shift in attitude, making them even more flustered in return.
Meanwhile, Serafall rubbed her chin in though.
"Not only he is unorthodoxly smart with alchemy and magic, but is also bilingual" she whispered. "Really helpful in protecting his alchemical secrets… should Irina be there, she would probably learn a bit of his ideas… or is it also encrypted?"
She continued her thoughts in silence.
"Just recording my ideas so I don't forget them, so I can try them out, or see where I failed. Pork is doing great, thanks for asking." Naruto stated after a moment. "He returned back to being a normal pig, the potion I gave him was incomplete. He is all healed now."
Xenovia rolled her eyes.
"Uuu, someone's salty!" Issei snickered at the reaction.
Xenovia turned her head with a blank stare. "Duh, why should I care about a monster that was likely going to fuck me?"
"The hell…?" He blinked, surprised. "I'm not talking about you, it was about Naruto. Honestly, the nerve…"
She twitched in irritation.
"Yeah, not everything is about you~!" Irina chimed in pretty naturally.
She twitched again. They were making fun out of her, but not today – today she'll endure silently.
"Can't say I care about an Orc that I'm pretty sure was going to try and have his way with me."
"Which is why you should stop chasing me, because eventually something will happen and one of my experiments might have their way with you."
"Exactly what I said!" Azazel exclaimed excited towards Xenovia. "You're playing with fire and you WILL get burned."
She twitched again. She was not going to respond. Nope.
"I've already accepted that could happen, and if something bad happens to me on a mission, then I wasn't strong enough to stop it. Anyway, your tentacle monsters already had their way with my mouth and butt before, in case you have forgotten, I have not forgotten what tentacle cum tastes like, or what it feels like inside me." Xenovia reminded him that at this point, she had already had some pretty extreme things happen to her. There was a reason it was always her and Irina that were sent after him.
No other females would go after him, and the male exorcists were afraid of what would happen to them if they tried. Irina wanted to capture Naruto because she wanted to get back at him for what happened to her, and she just didn't care so long as it was part of the mission.
"Me, I, my… You see? It's all about her!"
"And to some degree, she got what she was wanted."
"She even specifically mentioned that she still remembers the taste and the feeling."
Issei, Azazel and Irina continued their little fun, that in all honesty, was going a bit out of control. Xenovia was no longer twitching, she was shivering. And she was about to…
"Listen here, you fucking perverts!" she yelled out. "Since you had your fun, let me have a bit of my own!"
"Now, now, easy…"
"Issei, you just wanted to see Pork the Orc fuck me, despite the fact I was trying to seduce you into impregnating me… Does that make you a cuck?!"
"What… is a 'cuck'?"
"Azazel, you're a sore looser who deep inside could not stand the fact, that after you rubbed us off on so many perverted things, we were not baited by your argue about him being an enemy!"
"Excuse me… what is a 'cuck'?"
"And Irina, I want to remind you, that it's your counterpart that continues to get us fucked over and over and over again, because and I quote 'she just didn't cared so long as it was part of the mission', you damn slut angel!"
"And she's useless on top of that"
"No, I'm not!"
"Xenovia… what is a 'cuck'?"
Xenovia finally turned around, with the remnants of anger still burning in her, so she didn't hold off. "Cuck is someone who enjoys their partner getting fucked by other people!"
Only after a moment, when she completely calmed down, she realized who was asking the question and into who's face she shouted the answer.
Asia was fuming, her face bright red. Embarrassed beyond belief, she opened her mouth to say something, yet was unable to mutter a word. She finally peeked at Issei.
"I-Issei… a-are you r-really…?"
"No!" he shouted in shock. "She just went apeshit crazy!"
"And who's fault is that?!"
Asia squeaked and covered her face in shame, then turned away from everyone and curled down on the pillows, avoiding meeting their eyes, as she felt them on herself.
*CLASP*
"That's enough!" Rias shouted out, as she stand up and loudly slapped her hands. "You went too far, both of you! After we finish this episode, you'll be punished – 100 slaps for each of you!"
"Wha… Why just us?!" Issei could not stop himself from asking. "I get that I was wrong, so was Xenovia outburst, but Irina and Azazel are just as guilty!"
"Yes, but I lack the authority and power to execute the consequences from those two" red-haired devil admitted to her own powerlessness. "But… I do think I need to inform Lord Michael of this incident."
Irina frowned, a sheepish smile forming on her face, as she then joined her hands and bowed down to Xenovia and Asia. "I'm… deeply sorry."
The third culprit however didn't seemed moved at all – on the contrary, Azazel actually smirked at the sight of Church trio apologizing to each other. "Ah, good old friendship…"
"To be fair, Azazel, you did went a bit overboard" Sirzechs pointed out fallen angel fault. "Without your involvement, this may have not escalated."
He laughed it off. "Oh, common, give me a break. Nothing truly bad happened, as allow this crazy old man a bit of his mad fun."
"Fun is fine, just keep in mind… Should that be my fault, Grayfia would not hesitate for a second to discipline me. Severely."
Azazel eyes darted towards silver-haired maid, who was just smiling sweetly. A spark flashed in fallen one eyes, as he snickered under his nose.
"I guess it was partially my fault, so we can make it up for those three" he announced soon after, forming a quirky plan to have both wolf sated and sheep safe. "You can give me a punishment of my own later."
Crimson Maou blinked in surprise, then raised his eyebrow, knowing there was a catch. "Really?"
"On two conditions. First, it must be thematically fitting with our show here, who knows if the other Naruto won't interfere otherwise" he stated firmly, leaning towards Maou pair. "Second, it must be your dear Grayfia who will come up with the idea and discipline me – won't take either ideas or execution from you, I don't swing that way."
"You really think she will…"
"Deal."
Azazel and Sirzechs both blinked in surprised, turning their heads towards female devil. Grayfia was smiling gently, slowly rubbing her hands, making her husband shiver… in fear.
"Are you… certain?" Azazel asked uncertain, a drop of sweat sliding down his spine. He was betting on them unwillingly backing down, this was not in his calculations… but some part of him was okay with that. "I mean, if you BOTH are okay, then sure…"
Sirzechs and Grayfia eyes meet and that was enough. Lucifer had no word in this and maybe for the better, as there was one thing he knew right now – he DID NOT wanted to be in Azazel boots.
"Now then, everyone, calm down!" Grayfia called out to everyone calmly. "Rias, you can send out the message and punish your servants after we're finished. For now, let's focus on watching!"
Crimsons Princess nodded and sit back down. As the atmosphere calmed, they could resume their session.
Naruto crossed his legs under the table.
...
"Did I give you an erection?"
Koneko deadpanned at the screen. "Really?"
"Yes." Naruto deadpanned at her, and she nodded her head.
"I mean, are you really surprised?" asked Issei. "Let's face it, Xenovia is sexy. She just admitted to clearly remember the feel of tentacles and taste of their cum, on top of being willing to accept whatever happens to you on the mission, to a guy who she pursue and who made those tentacles. Imagination did the rest."
"I mean, I kind of get it." Xenovia touched her chin in thought, a small blush on her cheeks, as she turned her eyes towards white-haired nekomata. "The vision of squirming while being enveloped by tentacles, your whole body glistening… I am a bit ashamed to admit it, but that does seem hot."
Before anyone could respond to that, Irina dived her first into the pillows and yelled in frustration into them. "MMMHH~!"
Her wings came out and flickered a bit, before shortly disappearing soon after.
Blue-haired knight turned back to Koneko, still deadpanning at the angel girl. "See?"
"Yeah…"
"It makes me feel good knowing that I'm attractive, that's not a feeling I've ever really thought about on the battlefield before. You know, the male exorcists at the church are pretty self-conscious about their size, but I've noticed that you don't seem to have a problem." Xenovia remembered how comfortable Naruto was around the naked Manphin and the naked Orc, with their dicks hanging out. Both of them had been pretty damn large, and she was wondering if he was that confident in his own size.
Not that she cared that much.
"Of course you don't~" Akeno teased the former exorcist with a mischievous smile, placing hand on her own cheek. "No one ever does…"
"Oh, fuck off…"
"I would like to know, nya~!" Kuroka butt in the conversation, greedily licking her lips. "Those two were pretty hung, yet our lovely alchemist was pretty calm so I do wonder how he compare~"
"Perv sis."
"Meh, I'm not bothered by that kind of stuff. So, how do you like how our little date is going?" Naruto asked Xenovia, and she just considered it for a moment.
Kuroka blinked. "Come on, what kind of answer was that?! It neither confirmed or denied anything, nya~!"
"Serves you right~" Koneko snickered at her outburst, a genuine small laugh.
"Oh, you say so?" Black-haired sister smiled dangerously, a flash in her eyes, as she raised her hands. "Come here, nya~!
"Wha… Nya~!?"
As Kuroka tackled her younger sister to the pillows, beginning what would only be called a sisterly tickle fight, others focused on the second part of his words.
"Well, at the very least he seems not bothered by the statement" Grayfia pointed out. "So I would say... average. Or above average."
Not that either of the two sisters listened to her. However, both Sirzechs and Serafall nodded in agreement, while Azazel shrugged his shoulder, understanding that point himself.
"Is it a date?" asked Gasper, tilting his head. "They just happened to meet each other, with Xenovia basically forcing him to pay for her meal… Is there any romantic element I missed…?"
"Not all dates are strictly romantic" Yuuto answered his dhampiric friend. "It's just a meeting, when you spend time together, learn about each other, ect. Does not need to lead to any romantic development."
Issei looked annoyed a bit. "And you're talking from experience, of course…?"
"Partially, some of my clients request a dinner or a date with me" he responded calmly, with the same gentle smile on his face. "It always is just a pleasant time…. Well, sometimes they flirt with me a bit."
"Tsk, damn pretty boy…"
"Well, I do feel that I'm understanding your motivations better at least. Not to mention, you're very easy to talk to, so I feel this date is going well. Of course, I hope you aren't expecting a kiss at the end of it, as is custom at the end of dates."
...
Rias rubbed the base of her nose. "Yeah… I think that silence is appropriate."
"Such serious take… Or is it naughty take?" Akeno could not stopped herself from throwing another tease. "You do realize it's not really a custom, at least not on first or blind dates?"
"I mean, a lot of my customers give me at least kiss on the cheek…"
Kiba just had to make that comment, earning form a very jealous look Issei, as the latter was grinding his teeth in anger. Both Akeno and Rias sighed at that too.
Rias looked at her knight. "Yuuto, you're a bit of a special case…"
"…cause most of your clients are woman who are into you" Akeno finished for her king. "So they will do anything to try and earn your affection."
"Oh… So that's why…"
Unbeknown to them, Church trio was whispering among each other.
"It really isn't a custom?"
"Apparently not…"
"I really though that's how all dates ends."
"Oh, we're already shared a kiss, haven't we?" Xenovia asked as she remembered the kiss they shared in the forest, though Naruto had been transformed into Irina for it. She had been transformed into him shortly after. "Oh... I guess technically, I kissed... Irina? Either way, your tongue technique could use some work. Thinking back on it, I guess I didn't offer much to the kiss though." Xenovia, ever the serious girl.
Immediately, exorcist duo looked at each other, as their faces turned crimson. Just as quickly, they turned their heads away. Seeing all of this last member of the Church trio blinked in surprise, then blushed herself and averted anyone gaze.
They were focused on Xenovia and Irina anyway.
'God, what is this show making me think?' was the though that appeared in Asia head. And likely in her two Church friends.
"Am I… the only one who wonders how she knew his kiss could use some work?" Vali asked while everyone was concentrated on two exorcists. "You know, considering she was proper Church warrior back then…? Only me…? Okay…"
She took almost everything seriously to some degree, and even when Naruto snickered, she could only stare him down.
"Y-yeah, that's the scary part about her…" Gasper whispered to himself, glad that the swordswoman was too embarrassed at the moment to listen.
"Thanks, now I've got an idea for... oh, oh OH, I've got a great idea." Naruto stated as he started to write down ideas for potion in his notebook, one that he could apply to his tentacles to make a new kind of tentacle beast. "... I'm thinking a potion that can make a person's lips as sensitive as their crotch. Oh, that will be hilarious... but what ingredients would I use to make that... gotta start with the basic ingredient for things that manipulate the sense of touch." Naruto started to work on the new potion idea.
"He came up with that idea on the spot, because you mentioned kissing Irina, or rather him, alone?" Sona state the question more for herself than Xenovia. "From such basic thing, came this idea?"
Serafall smiled at her sister, poking her cheek. "A living example of a statement – 'A line between genius and madman is really thin.' – don't you agree?"
"…yeah."
"Kissing as pleasurable as sex?" Azazel leaned forwards, rubbing his hands in excitement. "Oh, this will a be great potion, for both pranks and perverted usage."
Grayfia gave him a polite death glare. "Explain, please?"
"Imagine adding this to drinks of a pair that is on romantic date" he started, "then as they kiss, sudden flash of pleasure shooting through their bodies, yet they continue unable to stop and soon, things spiral out of control, as they get more and more heated. Two birds with one stone."
Silver-haired maid glare turned towards the screen, as her eyes softened a bit. "I can see practical side too, especially if the pair don't have time for sex, or don't want to risk."
"Indeed!"
Sirzechs blinked, his eyes focused on his wife. Was she insinuating something…?
As their eyes meet, he was certain she did had something in her mind. He gulped nervously.
Xenovia just kept eating until she finished her lunch, and she saw that Naruto had covered half of a page with notes in a small amount of time. He had a wide smile on his face, and a happy glint to his eyes as he put all of his effort into working on his next experiment.
"Every single time I'm surprised of how quickly does this guy brain works" Rias stated, clearly impressed. "Those are formulas, combinations and potential ingredients… All thought up and written down in matter of minutes."
"And he's having a ton of fun, on top of that~ "
"Yeah."
'Those are the eyes of a man who is filled with passion, as much as I dislike his experiments, the amount of love and effort he puts into them is something I have to respect. He's got a very pure heart... though a very perverted brain.' Xenovia had to chuckle under her breath as she stood up. She was done eating, and Naruto already agreed to pay for her meal. "Well, see you next time I'm chasing you down. We will be enemies next time we meet, so be prepared." Xenovia gave her fair warning.
"So, basically another day at work" Issei summarized the other Xenovia statement. "Nothing changed."
"Not exactly, I got to know him, even if just a bit, which may be useful next time" she corrected him, shrugging her shoulders. "You never know."
"Have to agree with other Xenovia" said Asia. "He's naughty, but also a good person."
Irina flinched at that. "Cannot say if 'good' is a right word…"
"Yes, but should... slime... sex beast? Or go classic tentacle monster... choices. Slimes are easier to experiment on. Oh, but with the slime I can... yeah, that could work."
"…definitely not right word!" she corrected her previous statement. "He even considered a beast here?!"
"Yup, 'kind' is much better in that case" said Azazel, chuckling to himself at Irina immediate reaction. "And definitely resourceful with that slime choice!"
Xenovia could see that Naruto stopped paying attention to her, and instead he was just putting ALL of his attention and effort into what he was doing. He slaved over his notebook as he started to write out a dozen different ingredients, and he would cross out whatever he realized wouldn't work, only to write more ingredients and out they might effect the potion.
"Still impressive how quickly he can analyze and adapt ingredients needed" said Sona, adjusting her glasses. "The sheer focus alone is incredible, considering that he is quite active and does not seem like typical book-type…"
"When your hobby or work needs a theoretic part, believe me, character plays little importance" claimed confidently Azazel. "You may rage over the books and papers, but you will do them as long as needed."
Xenovia walked off.
She felt that she understood her enemy a little better after that lunch.
Chapter 5 A Nice Lunch Break – the end.
As soon as that line appeared on the 'screen', everyone relaxed and focused on something else – talking, thinking, relaxing.
Rias stood up from her seat with phone in her hand, choosing a number, while walking a bit away from the group. Irina gulped at the sight, having pretty good idea who exactly is she calling.
"Xenovia, Issei, you two can get up and go to the other room." Rias pointed out one of the mansion doors. "Wait there for your punishment."
"Shit… Yes, buchou!"
"Yes ma'am…"
They both did not complained much, making their way out of the gathering – Xenovia standing proud and willing to accept her punishment, Issei with his head hung low.
"I should probably notify Ravel about what's going on" said Sirzechs, taking out his phone. "Not sure if she will have time to come here, but…"
"Good idea" Grayfia praised her husband quick resolve. She the stood up and head towards other door. "While you do that, I need to discipline someone. You can join me afterwards. Now Azazel, please, come with me."
"Yes, ma'am!" He stood up right after her and saluted, following her guide. "Still, I wonder, who was this other Naruto we saw today? He was way above anything we know so far… though maybe it's better to not talk about it, he may be watching us right now."
A complete and utter enigma, that they were certain about him.
Hey everyone! Been a while, a lot happened, but next chapter arrived!
A lot of you is probablt wondering, 'Who the fuck was that white-haired Naruto?' Well, that is a good question - won't elaborate on it though, as I myself didn't read the story from which he came from. He is simply... one of the Narutos.
Well, not much to say anymore, will probably hit the hay the moment I upload.
As always, I ask for your opinion about the chapter. How you liked it, did you had un, etc. etc. xDD
And remember to read the original.
See ya next time!