Previously…

"I get it, in order to grow into my fullest potential I'll have to bond to my other half but how is that supposed to happen when if we sleep together, he loses his soul?"

Buffy is beyond shocked when the first Slayer laughs not just a giggle or a chuckle but a full-on belly laugh.

Buffy is starting to get embarrassed, thinking she must have missed the whole point so she's a little snappish when she continues, "What? There's no way I'm that far off the mark!"

The first Slayer, Synia if she remembers her own name correctly, though she's not really sure, forces herself to calm down. "Angelus is not your other half."

"Of course not, Angel is."

"One and the same, you cannot be someone's other half if only half of them connects with you."

"No, they're different beings, Angel is the man I love, the only man I'll ever love," Buffy says forcefully because she is completely sure of this.

"Again, how can you love someone when you hate such a big part of them? Do you think just because he has a soul the demon in him disappears? He'd just be human then if that were the case. If they were different people, why does he have to atone for another's sins?"

Normally, this is when Buffy would put on her rose-colored glasses while laying back and sun tanning on the bank of the Nile but whatever mojo that's happening with the quest is stopping her ability to do so. So yes she has to admit that they are the same person and the soul is the only difference between the man she loves and a psycho murderer. She supposes she already knew that but accepting it is something majorly of the different.

"Okay, if it's not Angel, who is it then?" She has a strange feeling she already knows but that doesn't mean she likes the answer she thinks is coming.

"You already know, you are just in denial. The vampire who would do anything for the woman he loves, including turning his back on everything he's been taught by his sire and grandsire."

Buffy flinches again at another dig at Angel but has to accept it as truth. "How can he be my true other half? I don't even like him."

"You know that is not true. You hide the affection because you think those around you won't accept it. And you're right to worry, your Watcher was taught that no demon could be good, that they cannot feel. Your friends are distrustful because of what happened with Angelus, other vampires, and some things that the one you're meant to claim has done himself. It will take time but they will accept the inevitable eventually."

Buffy accepts that the first Slayer is speaking the truth, she does hold some affection for Spike and she has for a long time. She hates some of what he stands for and who he is but she isn't blind to his positive attributes, who wouldn't like someone who is so loyal, who loves so completely, who is so dedicated to those he chooses to be? That doesn't mean he's her other half, the person she's meant to tie herself to forever.

"Come, there is more to see." The first Slayer says but instead of walking somewhere, she touches Buffy's forehead again.

Buffy figures she should be used to this tunnel vision by now but she's definitely not, it makes her a little dizzy. This time when it stops she knows where she is and not just because something is giving her the knowledge. No, she doesn't think she'd ever forget this place, even if she lived as long as some of those Slayers in the memories. The Bronze, she knows what night this is too, she didn't know it at the time but her life changed that night. She was dancing with Xan and Willow and she felt eyes on her but she just thought it was some hottie checking her out, maybe even Angel. She didn't know Spike was watching her beforehand, she also didn't know that he was the one that warned her about someone getting bitten in the alleyway. She's just watching the interaction, she isn't really sure why she's being shown this, her fighting the minion, the minion calling out to Spike for some help, her dusting him. Cue the slow clap and Spike strutting his way out. She remembers that zing she felt, that awareness, a pull even, that she felt when they first made eye contact. The scene freezes and she hears the Slayer speak again.

"That right there, I know you remember that feeling, that was the sign, that was all that Cassia needed to know she found her other half. The difference is she was taught to look for it while you were taught to ignore it. By the same group of people that made me into what I am, they try to take something else away from me, from us but no more. I won't stand for it. I'm taking back what they stole from me by teaching you what you're missing."

'Woah, there's a lot to unload there.' Buffy thinks. She isn't sure what to think about what the first Slayer was saying. Is she saying that the Watchers made the Slayer line? Buffy mentally shakes her head, that's not why she came here. Maybe, if she survives the Hell God she'll come back and try to figure that out. Right now, she has to focus on keeping her sister safe and the world spinning.

Buffy thinks about what the Slayer has told her so far and tries to figure out how that can help her with her current Big Bad. If she understands her correctly, she can't grow to her full potential until she is connected to her other half but what is that going to do?

"How is this going to help me? So what if claiming my other half gives me the opportunity to live to 100, that's not going to happen if the world ends next week because I'm not strong enough to take down Glory." Buffy says raising her voice, starting to get upset.

The first Slayer stares at Buffy long and hard, not too fond of being spoken to in such a way. "You will bring out the best in each other, will take the best parts of each other for your own."

'Well, what does that mean?' Buffy thinks grumpily. Even with whatever is happening to her because Giles got all chanty earlier, she's doing a great job not thinking about who her other half is.

"You do not think he is worthy." The first Slayer says simply.

"That's because he isn't," Buffy spits out, knowing what she says is true.

"Ahh, I see. It makes sense, you've been burned before so you need proof. That is fine, there is plenty of it."

Buffy is about to ask what on earth she's talking about when she feels a fingertip on her forehead again and sighs at the inevitability of the uncomfortable tunnel vision again. She tries closing her eyes this time but it helps almost zero percent. When she opens them she knows it's the year 1865 and she is in London, she expects to see a Slayer, and to say she's surprised as what she actually sees is an understatement.

There, for everyone to see is Spike, with a little longer and darker curly hair and in the type of clothes she'd expect Giles to wear were he from that time. There's no way this man is a highwayman or a ruffian. Giles books have it so of the wrong it isn't funny. Not to mention the societal party he seems to be at. He's doting on an older woman that Buffy thinks is his mother and he looks so worried when she coughs into her napkin and there's blood on it.

Buffy and the guide keep flashing from scene to scene showing a human Spike taking care of his mother but that doesn't prove anything to Buffy, that human isn't Spike. That's what Giles taught her, and that's what Angel reinforced to her. So what this human did, has nothing to do with who Spike is now.

"You already know that the Watchers do not always teach the truth." The first Slayer says as if reading her thoughts. "He still cared for her after he was turned too. William did not feel much different after his turning, only stronger and more free. Some vampires keep more of their humanity than others, and William keeps a lot. So when he woke up realizing that he was strong and felt the best he ever had before, he thought he'd be able to save his mother that way too. She was dying, you see, of consumption. Or tuberculosis as what it's known as now."

"He killed his mother?" Buffy says with as much disgust as she feels.

"He tried to save his mother, unlike Angelus who killed his whole family for the fun of it."

Buffy thinks that over and has to admit she understands where Spike must have been coming from. A few weeks ago she almost let Dawn bring their mom back from the dead, and there wasn't much she wasn't willing to do to get her mother healthy when she was at the height of her illness. So though she still can't help but find what he did reprehensible, she allowed the same thing to happen to her mom, just with a different type of magic so she cannot judge him for it. That doesn't mean she approves of what he did but she understands it.

She also understands what the first Slayer was saying, Spike loved his mother so much he'd do anything for her but that was a long time ago, even if turning into a vampire doesn't take away all that you are, a person could change a lot in 120 plus years.

Buffy is starting to get worried that her guide really can read her mind because after another time jump they're looking at Spike doting on Drusilla, constantly doing everything he can to make her happy and to give her what she wants. She also keeps seeing Drusilla not giving him the same in return. Again, this doesn't really mean anything to Buffy, it doesn't make Spike worthy of her trust because yes he's showing how loyal he is, how much he cares, how much he loves even but his devotion is to an evil person and he's evil himself. So he's doing these evil things for Drusilla that he'd probably want to do anyway. Buffy isn't really sure what her guide is trying to prove to her, if it's to never trust Spike because he's evil and is willing to do evil things when the woman he loves asks for it, then she's doing a great job.

Buffy can't believe that he'd be the same way if it was her that he was with, he screams loud and often about the fact that he's still evil. If he were to be with her, he'd have to give that all up. She's switched again to the night that Ford sold her out and Buffy sees how quickly he gave everything up, all the evil he had planned for that night just to keep the woman he loved safe. Buffy feels jealous seeing these memories about how much Spike loved Drusilla. This isn't the first time she's felt jealous of his devotion to the big hoe but this is the first time that she's jealous because she wants all his devotion for herself instead of wishing she had someone to do the same for her.

Still, even though she feels jealous about how he was with Drusilla, that doesn't mean she's sold on him being the one she's meant to claim. The First Slayer must see that because she doesn't even say anything this time, she just puts her finger on Buffy's forehead again. This time, when the tunnel vision ends she doesn't know exactly where she is other than the fact that it's a possible future.

Spike is kneeling in front of her looking at her with love clear in his eyes, Buffy looks beat down, broken even, and like she's depending on Spike to help make her better. "Hey, look at me, I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you, it has nothing to do with me. I love who you are, what you do, and how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength, I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are, you're a hell of a woman, you're the one, Buffy."

The Buffy that's watching this scene play out gasps at the sincerity and love in his eyes, before she has time to think more of it, they're watching a scene in Buffy's house where Buffy is standing in front of Spike, "We're not all going to make it."

"Yeah… Hey, I always knew I'd go down fighting."

"I'm counting on you… to protect her."

"Till the end of the world, even if that happens to be tonight."

Buffy nods her head then walks up the stairs and Spike stops her. "I know you'll never love me, I know I'm a monster but you treat me like a man, and that's…" he sighs. "Get your stuff, I'll be right here."

In another scene, Buffy looks like she's spinning so fast that smoke is coming out of her and she's about to burst into flames but Spike stops her. There's image after image of Spike being there for her, loving her, devoting himself to her and the white hats. Buffy's brain is overloaded with all the new information and possibilities, she can't believe that Spike is the one she's meant to claim, the one that she's meant to spend the rest of her life with. When Spike declared his love for her a few weeks ago she was disgusted, she believed that he couldn't love and all he felt for her was obsession. It's hard to learn that that's all a lie, that Spike really does love her, and that it's okay for her to let herself care about him too.

When they finally stop they're again in front of the fire and Buffy is so shocked at what she saw that she needs to take a few minutes to think about it all and to let all the new information sink in. When she finally sorts through it all, or what she can handle right now, she has no choice but to come to the decision that Spike loves more deeply than anyone she's ever met before and though she doesn't love him, her affection for him has grown a lot with what she's learned tonight.

Although she isn't ready to walk up to Spike and tell him he was right, that there is something between them, and then not only give him that crumb but offer her neck to him so that they can claim each other. She is ready to maybe talk to him without all the anger and defenses and see if maybe there can be something that can grow into a maybe, eventually, one day, far in the future, possible, claiming…maybe. Buffy sighs at the thought of all the interventions and talks she'll have to get from her friends if they find out about this.

She looks at her guide, "Okay, I get what you're trying to show me, he's worthy of a chance. Especially if it's going to help me save Dawn."

The guide looks at her as if Buffy doesn't really get it but the first Slayer decides she's close enough for now. After it's quiet so long Buffy thinks it might be time to get going because she's already spent too much time here and away from Dawn. She starts to stand up when her guide speaks again.

"There is one last thing I must show you." For some reason, Buffy feels apprehensive about wherever this last stop is but Buffy is no coward so she just nods her head and prepares for the tunnel vision. When they land this time Buffy has no idea where they are but she can tell she is watching something that is currently happening, not a memory. She looks around the nice room and gasps.

"Spike…" She whispers.

She sees Spike hanging by his arms from the ceiling, beaten, if he was human she'd think he was dead. He's still and unconscious, she has no idea who would do this to him but she has the urge to return the favor to the person who did ten fold. Spike jumps awake when the door swings open and Buffy feels dred pull down her spine when she sees Glory walk in. Her first instinctive thought is 'Oh God, he knows who the key is, I have to get Dawn far away from here now.' Her second is, 'No, isn't that the point of all that the first Slayer is trying to show me? That he's trustworthy and loyal to those who he cares about?'

"I have a riddle, precious, how is a vampire that won't talk like an apple?"

She pulls aside his shirt which is already ripped open and uses a knife to cut him from his shoulder to his belly button. She grabs him by his head so that he's looking at her then stabs the knife into his stomach and Spike groans in pain. "Think I can peal you in one long strip?"

"Enough, no more. I'll tell you who the sodding key is." Buffy gasps, not knowing why she's hurt but she is.

"Good! Now start talking."

"Yeah, okay, the key. Here's the thing, it's the guy on TV, what's his name?"

"On the television?"

"Yeah, on that show, the price show, where they guess what stuff costs."

One of her grubby minions answers. "The price is right? Bob Barker. We will bring you Bob Barker, we will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Barker!"

"It is not Bob Barker, you scabby morons! The key is new to this world and Bob Barker is as old as grit. The vampire is lying to me"

Spike starts laughing, maybe a little insanely, definitely manically. "Yeah, but it was fun. And guess what bitch? I'm not telling you jack."

Buffy's vision tunnels, for what she hopes is the last time and she's in front of the fire again. The First Slayer stares at her for a long time then says, "You know what you must do." Then disappears.

Buffy does know what she has to do, at least for right now, she'll worry about the claim and all that later because that is just way too much for her to think about but right now she has to save Spike.