A/N: Real quick turn around on this update, but it's a short chapter so...I'm starting a new job soon and it'll probably cut into my writing time, so I'm kinda trying to preemptively write as much as possible. The next update might be a while, so I wanted to put this one out at least.
"Inner Sakura..."
"Sakura's thoughts..."
Memory...
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
The months dragged by in an exhausting slog for Sakura. She woke up exhausted, went about her day exhausted, and went to bed at night exhausted. The process of maintaining the seal truly was draining, even with her second small reservoir, which when coupled with her unused chakra gave her access to forty percent of her normal chakra levels. And if she didn't eat enough or get enough sleep, the exhaustion would become crippling. She'd grown accustomed to dealing with it though, to some extent. She always had been good at fronting, and she hadn't lost her touch. It was nearly impossible to tell just how exhausted she was all the time—the hospital staff and patients couldn't. Shizune, Hinata, TenTen, Kiba, and Lee couldn't. Kakashi, Ino, and Shikamaru could tell that Sakura was more tired than usual, but they couldn't tell the true extent of it. The only one who knew just how bad it was, was Tsunade. And it was hard to say whether she could tell because of how close she was with Sakura, or because she knew first hand what the Hundred Healings entailed.
No one knew about the seal. Tsunade had never explicitly band her from telling people, but the Sanin herself hadn't volunteered the information even to Shizune, so Sakura took the cue from her and kept quiet about it. She had told Tsunade about her second dam, after she managed to maintain both for a month. Her mentor had been beyond impressed that she had managed such a feat, but still refused to permit her to do surgeries or be placed back in mission rotation. She did allow her to handle up to mid level procedures though, deeming that with forty percent of her chakra, she could handle that much. But if she didn't even have half her normal chakra, there was no way Tsunade would allow her to risk the O.R or the battlefield. She cared for Sakura more deeply than she thought she would, and she refused to put the girl in that sort of danger, no matter how efficiently she could manage that forty percent of her chakra.
Sakura didn't put up too much of a fight…she was too tired, and being allowed to perform mid-level healing procedures was enough for her, for now. Honestly, just getting through those was exhausting. She genuinely didn't think she could handle high level procedures or surgeries at the moment.
One of the upsides was that with the cutback on her training, she had more time to hang out with her friends. She'd finally reached her growth spirt and had needed new clothes, so she was quite thankful she now had the time to go with Ino and Hinata…even TenTen had come along. It seemed all the kunoichi of the Konoha 12 had outgrown their old training outfits. Sakura was thankful for their company, because left to her own devices, she'd have probably just picked the cheapest, blandest things out of habit. But with Ino along for the ride, all the young women left with actual stylish clothing. Well, her and TenTen anyways. It was never really much of a concern for Hinata, who was given custom clothes as part of the Hyuga's main branch.
Instead of her old dresses, Sakura's ninja attire now consisted of a sleeveless red shirt, fitted black shorts, a pink apron skirt, tall kitten heeled sandals, pink elbow pads, and sturdy black leather gloves. The last item having actually been gifted to her several months earlier by Ino after she discovered Sakura's bruised and bloodied knuckles when Tsunade had first been teaching her chakra enhanced punches. Sakura had also changed the band on her forehead protector to red cloth, instead of everyone else's standard blue—an homage to the ribbon Ino had gifted her all those years ago and a symbol of their rebuilt, solidly cemented friendship.
Ino also insisted that Sakura have other outfit options—a completely new and somewhat impractical concept to Sakura—forcing a form fitting navy skirt, a lilac skirt of a similar cut, a pale yellow short sleeve shirt, and a white short sleeve shirt, on her as well. Sakura had to admit, it was kind of nice knowing she didn't have to wear the exact same ensemble everyday…
Unfortunately, her growth spurt hadn't included her growing out of her pubescent insecurity, and she couldn't help feeling like she was not nearly as beautiful as Ino, Hinata, or TenTen when she was with them. TenTen had a more athletic build, closer to her own body type, but for some reason on TenTen, it seemed beautiful and confident while whenever she looked in the mirror, she felt like she just looked…wrong. Or maybe it was just that TenTen looked bright and alive whenever they hung out while she felt like death warmed over.
The one comfort she had in her appearance was her hair. It was still as shiny and soft as ever, and she'd let it start growing long again, since working on her seal had essentially removed most physical aspects of her training. Even if it hadn't, it wasn't that long, reaching just passed her shoulders. A length that shouldn't get too in the way in a fight, but was long enough for her to really run her fingers through. She'd taken to pulling it up in a ponytail when she was working, a habit she'd picked up from Shizune.
Sakura sighed in relief as she finished healing a chunin's fractured and bruised hand. He was the last in the clinic for now, so she could finally take a break.
"There, you're all better now." She said with a warm smile.
The chunin glanced away, his face tinging pink—she was really pretty! "Thank you!" He finally managed, quickly leaving before he could do something stupid, like asking the Hokage's beautiful apprentice out on a date.
Sakura made her way to the office, nearly collapsing into her chair. It felt pathetic that only performing low-mid level healing procedures on four people took this much out of her. She wiped the sweat off her brow and got started on paperwork, but she didn't get very far into it before there was a knock on the door.
"It's unlocked." She called, not looking up from the patient release form she was signing off on.
"Sakura…" She looked up in surprise at the deep gravely voice.
"Gaara-kun? What are you doing here?! Are you hurt?!" She asked automatically, pushing herself out of her chair and coming to stand in front of him, eyes scanning him for any injuries.
Gaara gave a small smile. She was still just as caring as ever. Her eyes still held the loneliness they'd developed since the Uchiha had left her, but it did nothing to detract from the warmth and kindness in them at all. She truly was stronger than most. When it was him, the loneliness had sucked everything else in like a vortex, leaving only cold, hatred, and solitude in their place.
"I'm fine, Sakura. I just had a meeting with the Hokage."
Sakura's brows furrowed. "Why would he be meeting with Shishou? She never said anything about it…"
"Is everything alright in Suna? Is there anything I can help with?" She had to fight to stop herself from cringing as soon as the words left her mouth.
"How could I possibly help? In my current condition, I can barely heal four people with minor injuries."
Gaara shook his head gently. Of course she'd immediately offer to help. Her kindness hadn't reduced in the slightest over the past year. She'd grown even more beautiful too, but he was doing his best not to dwell on that too much.
"Suna's fine. We were simply meeting to discuss holding a co-sponsored chunin exams."
"Oh!" The chunin exams, where Sasuke had gotten the curse mark and things had started going wrong…
"That makes sense, I guess. Tsunade-sama needs more official chunin so she doesn't keep getting backlash for sending genin on B-rank missions. We've been short handed and spread thin since the attack, and now things have finally calmed and somewhat stabilized, we need to bolster our ranks again. But why is Gaara-kun the one meeting…Oh!"
Sakura's eyes widened in realization as she looked up at Gaara. She'd read about it before. The Kazekage mantle was passed down through one family, which meant…
"Gaara-kun, has Kankuro been named Kazekage? Are you here as an advisor?"
Gaara smiled. He almost laughed…he and his siblings had grown quite close now, and if there was one thing he was sure of, Kankuro was the least suited personality-wise to be Kazekage. Of the three of them, it was Temari who was the most strategic, and she was very protective of those she cared about, so she'd do well by the village. But that wasn't how the title was inherited in Suna. The book Sakura must have read clearly hadn't given much detail.
"Not Kankuro. The position is inherited through my family, but it always goes to the one who inherited the ability to manipulate particles of earth."
"Manipulate particles…Oh my gods! That's you! Oh wow! I didn't realize when we were joking about it last year that you would actually…" Sakura let out a small laugh. "Naruto's gonna be so mad you beat him to it. Congratulations, Kazekage-sama." She said, giving him a warm, meaningful smile.
"You don't have to call me that. It hasn't been officially announced yet."
"Don't worry, I can keep a secret." Sakura winked, making him like the desert climate had suddenly switched with the hospital office. "Where are your brother and sister? Still in Suna?"
Gaara had to internally shake himself out of his Sakura-induced daze. "No. They accompanied me as my advisors and guards. Kankuro is probably back at the inn and Temari went off with Shikamaru."
"She did?" A mischievous twinkle danced through her eyes. "I'll be sure to tease him about it later."
"Tease him about what?" Gaara asked, cocking his head to the side curiously.
Sakura shook her head a little, a small smile on her face. "It's probably nothing, I just feel like they'd be good together."
Gaara considered her statement. From what he'd learned about Shikamaru, he was incredibly intelligent and a gifted tactician. He would say the same about his sister. But Shikamaru also came off as lazy and unmotivated, and Temari…well she was very driven and passionate.
"He's too lazy for her." He dismissed.
Sakura burst out laughing, and the sound made him very aware of his thundering heartbeat. "I never would have pegged you as a disapproving brother, Gaara-kun. Well, who knows. Maybe he'll grow out of it." She said with a light shrug.
"Sakura-chan," a nurse appeared at the office door, "there's a patient with a fractured wrist in the clinic."
"Another one? That's the eighth fractured wrist today!"
"It does seem to be popular…they all ask for you too. I wonder if it's on purpose." The nurse smirked at the beautiful girl. Gaara couldn't help but wonder as well. He fully understood wanting an excuse to see Sakura, and be treated by her gentle, caring, hands, but it seemed a little unfair to do that if it overworked her in the process…He'd noticed it when he walked in, but she did seem rather tired.
"It better not be if they know what's good for them!" Sakura growled in annoyance.
"Can you take him? Everyone else is busy."
Sakura deflated a little, but recovered quickly before the nurse could take notice. "Yeah, I got it."
"Thanks! He's in exam room four."
"I'll be right there." Sakura steeled herself against her exhaustion, before turning to Gaara. "Sorry, I have to take care of this. It was nice seeing you, Gaara-kun!"
Gaara nodded. He fully understood. Sakura was a medic to her core. Purposeful and annoying or not, she'd never leave someone in pain. "I'll see you at the chunin exams, Sakura."
Sakura didn't say anything, but gave him a quick, very believable fake smile, before heading for the exam room, her smile dropping the second her back was turned.
Gaara believed it.
Sakura didn't hear anything more about the chunin exams for a few weeks. And then it was announced officially and it was all anyone was talking about. She supposed it had been that way the last time around too, although she hadn't been aware of it at the time. She'd been too caught up with her mother, her money problems, and her team finding out about both. Now though, she was hyper aware of it. It was like her ears tuned in specifically in time for her to catch discussions about the chunin exams. Still she was good at compartmentalizing, and she was able to ignore much of the discussions in favor of focusing on getting through her days at the hospital.
She sat across from a chunin, healing a long gash on his arm. He was her third patient that day and she was feeling the tax on her energy levels. When the gash disappeared, she let out a small huff of relief.
"There you're all set." She smiled, trying to subtly wipe the sweat from her brow, when she looked up and saw Ino leaning out from behind the medical curtain, gesturing her over with a smile on her face.
Sakura followed Ino out into the hospital courtyard, happy to sit down, leaning against the wall under the shade of a tree. Ino sat next to her, bubbling with excitement.
"Did you hear about the chunin exams?!"
"How could I not, Pig? It's all any genin is talking about." Sakura said conversationally. "Apparently it's joint sponsorship with Suna this time around. I heard the second exam will be held there."
"Wow you know a lot." Ino observed.
"The hospital is a surprisingly great place to gather gossip."
"You know, Shikamaru can't enter this time around, since he's already a chunin." Sakura tensed, knowing what Ino was about to say. She'd had a feeling she would ask since she mentioned the chunin exams.
"We're down one, so what do you say, Forehead? Why don't you team up with us?"
"Me? Join team Asuma?" Sakura hugged her knees tighter against her chest.
"Both Sasuke-kun and Naruto are missing from team 7, right?"
"Y-Yeah…" Sakura muttered, the familiar, lonely, depressed feeling creeping up to consume her.
"So you need to join a three man team to take the chunin exams, right?!" Ino questioned brightly.
"…Yeah…"
"So you'll join, right?" Ino smiled, putting a hand on Sakura's shoulder supportively.
"…Even if I do want to, with the seal still in progress…"
"But…"
"I know your strength better than anyone." Ino changed her tactic, her face serious. "At the last chunin exams I got a full taste of your power. And you've been training so hard. You've only gotten stronger since then."
"Still…I can't. Please find someone else." Sakura couldn't bring herself to look at her best friend. The words tasted bitter on her tongue. She didn't want to be the kind of person who turned away from challenges. She didn't want to be weak and useless. Not anymore. But if healing three people of their minor injuries made her exhausted, what use could she really be?
"Why?!" Ino shouted. She couldn't accept her best friend holding herself back because of Sasuke and Naruto. "We know that you've trained hard under Tsunade-sama! You've grown so much!" When Sakura still wouldn't look up at her, Ino sighed. "If you're just going to wait for Naruto and Sasuke-kun, you'll never grab the opportunities that come around!"
Sakura finally turned to her friend, a little confused. "It's not that…If you add me to your team now, I'll probably be a burden."
"That's not true!" Ino shouted again. She hated it when Sakura put herself down like that. "Please!" She begged, her palms clapping together in front of her, in request.
Sakura stared at her best friend, conflicted. She really wished she could, but…
"I'm sorry, Pig. I just can't…" She was too tired as it was. Even if she agreed and submitted their team to Tsunade, she probably wouldn't approve it.
Getting up, she headed back to her office dejectedly, leaving Ino staring after her sadly in the courtyard.
As Sakura headed home after her shift, she unexpectedly came across Shikamaru along the route to her building.
"Rarely see you along this path." She commented lightly.
"It's been a while. Let's play shogi."
Sakura raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "You never go this far out of your way for something like that, it's too troublesome."
Shikamaru huffed, hands buried in his pockets. "What, a guy can't check in on his friend and shogi buddy?"
"He can, but not when he's got an ulterior motive. This is about the chunin exams, isn't it?" Sakura sighed. "Look, I already gave Ino-chan my answer, so just forget about it, ok? This is for the best." She moved to continue passed him, but he decisively stepped in front of her.
"The chunin exams are a drag, so I get it. If you don't want to that's your call. But I do want to hear your reason. And that aside…it has been a while since we hung out…playing shogi with Ino, Choji, and Asuma is too boring." He'd been shocked when Ino had found him and Choji in the park and delivered the news that Sakura turned them down. And when Ino had said it was because she didn't want to burden them, he realized it had been a while since he and Sakura had a shogi/life check-in session. Sakura was a really good friend, and they'd both been so busy lately that they'd mutually neglected each other. He wasn't offended, but he kind of missed her and their shogi games. They were mentally stimulating without being too troublesome. Besides, if what he'd said to her before the Sasuke retrieval mission was still effecting her emotionally, making her think she was more of a burden than anything else, than part of this was his fault and it was his responsibility as a man to set it right.
Sakura was taken aback by the last part. He'd come clean about his motive for seeking her out. but he still wanted to hang out, genuinely, regardless of whether she changed her mind about the chunin exams or not.
"…I have missed our shogi matches lately. He's been a really good friend since the last chunin exams, and I've barely talked to him at all in the last four months…"
Sakura caved, smiling. "Alright. Let's have a shogi session. But I need food first."
"Come on, I'll buy."
She fell into step next to him. "You don't have to do that."
"Men are supposed to pay for ladies." Shikamaru answered, shooting her a dry look.
"That's only if it's a date. You don't pay for Ino-chan."
"We grew up together. She doesn't count, she's like family." He dismissed. "It doesn't matter if it's not a date. If my mom heard I let a girl I was with pay for her own meal, I'd never hear the end of it." Neither of those things were a lie, but more than that, as of his last update about her life, Sakura was still solely responsible for her own living expenses, and she wasn't put on missions anymore. Her money for food and clothes came solely from the sales she made with the apothecary and beauty shop. The hospital only covered her housing, she didn't see a ryo from it otherwise. So while she was better off than she'd been before, money was still tight for her. And his family had a lot of money. Paying for her meal was only logical, and it was his responsibility as her financially better off friend, genders aside.
"So what you're saying is, I'm doing you a favor?" Sakura concluded, teasingly.
Shikamaru laughed. "Sure, let's go with that."
They settled on just loading up on street food. Shikamaru was a little surprised by how much Sakura consumed: Takoyaki, three skewers of yakitori, yaki imo, yakisoba, and two imagawayaki for desert. It didn't bother him. Street food was cheap, he had plenty of money, and he'd rather her eat a lot than eat one thing and say she was fine. But it still surprised him.
"You could give Choji a run for his money."
Sakura simply looked him dead in the eye and answered, "I was hungry."
"Clearly."
"So, Gaara-kun came to see me a couple months ago, while he was here. He said you and Temari were hanging out together a lot." Sakura's tone was playful and wheedling, as they headed for the Nara compound.
"That woman…" Shikamaru grunted heavily. The more they interacted the more troublesome she became, with her brash personality, clever mind, sunny smile, and sandy blonde hair. Blonds were always trouble. Ino, Naruto, Tsunade…adding a strong tactical mind and sharp tongue to that was only asking for greater trouble.
"So…? Did you play any shogi with her?"
"Yeah." He sighed. "She made me."
"And?"
"I beat her once, and we tied twice."
Sakura stopped short, her jaw dropping. "You two tied?!"
"It was a lot like our match. She made me keep reevaluating my strategy. I had a way to win, but she got too many of my pieces off in the meantime and forced a draw." The only person he ever lost to was his dad, and he didn't always lose to him. Sometimes he won. Everyone else he beat. But there was always a decisive victory one way or the other. Except with her. It really was troublesome.
Sakura's respect for Temari sky rocketed. To think she'd managed to force Shikamaru into a draw twice…
"That's totally a sign, shannaro! Those two are perfect for each other!"
As per usual with them, the real talk didn't start until they were at Shikamaru's house and well into their shogi game.
"So why won't you join them? Team 10's down one and you're down two. It makes sense." Shikamaru asked casually without any preamble, moving a piece.
"I already told Ino. I'd only be a burden to them if I joined now, so just drop it. I get that you want the rest of your team to be promoted, but they probably won't make it if they add me." Sakura muttered, studying the board.
"What a drag…" Shikamaru sighed tiredly. "First off, I've been put in charge of this whole troublesome exam and I'm proctoring the first test. The rules haven't changed. You still need a three man cell to qualify. You're right. I want Ino and Choji promoted. They have the skills for it and they deserve a shot. But I also want you promoted too."
Sakura looked up at him, a little surprised. "If you're proctoring, are you allowed to push for certain applicants like this?"
Shikamaru snorted. "From the administrations side, this is ultimately about recruiting more chunin. We want as many skilled applicants as possible. The test determines whether you're qualified to be promoted. But from my standpoint, I want as many genin with high potential taking the test as I can get." Shikamaru watched as Sakura made a move that removed his rook. It had been a good choice. It messed up his plan, though he had a backup, so he wasn't worried. "You definitely have high potential. Honestly, you probably could have been promoted last exam, if it wasn't for your curse. But if you have that more under control…" Shikamaru removed one of her knights. "So what's this about you being a burden anyways? You've been training with the Hokage for almost two years. You don't even need to wear your chakra weights anymore."
"It's the training that's the problem." Sakura muttered, staring at the board. He'd completely ruined her strategy with his last move…she needed to come up with a new plan.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Sakura looked up at him, considering. She hadn't told anyone about the seal, because Tsunade hadn't…but Shikamaru had always been something of a confidant for her. He was the first person she really went in depth about her love of Sasuke too, she'd told him about her curse and her ways of handling it. She told him about her mom, and her financial distress. He'd never once spilled anything, not even accidentally. Naruto had accidentally let slip about her financial situation before, as had Ino. But never Shikamaru. Everything she shared with him during the confines of a shogi match remained strictly confidential, for both parties. She trusted him…she could tell him.
"Tsunade-sama taught me her strength of a hundred seal…it's worse than a chakra weight. For the next three years, I have to store 80% of my chakra, constantly. Even while I'm asleep."
"Constantly storing…?"
"It means I only have twenty percent of my chakra accessible for use. I'm storing five percent from that into a smaller seal I can use daily, but still. That's only forty percent of my chakra to work with."
Shikamaru stared at her wide eyed for a long moment, before his eyes narrowed, contemplating her.
"Do you understand now? I'd only hold them back." She moved another piece, her eyes trained sadly on the shogi board.
"I don't think you would." He said after another long moment, never moving his gaze from her.
Sakura's head shot up, staring at him in shock. She'd been sure he would have agreed with her and dropped the subject entirely.
"If there's anyone who knows how to maximize forty percent of their chakra, it's you. You've managed to expand your dancer's barrage into a full taijutsu form, one that doesn't waste too much chakra to use. You're a medical ninja so you're not supposed to be in heavy combat anyways. Ino knows some medical ninjutsu too now, so you don't have to bear the burden of healing everyone alone. And more than any of that…" Shikamaru dropped his gaze to the shogi board, looking at the positions of the pieces. He'd win, but she was doing really well for their first time playing in months. It was only the first round and she'd lasted longer than he would have expected after such a long break from the game. "…You'd be filling in my place on the team. I function as their captain at the moment. I'm the brains. You still never beat me in shogi, but you last longer than anyone else has."
Sakura stared at him a long moment before smirking. "Except Temari."
"…Troublesome."
Shikamaru made good points, but she still wasn't convinced. Even if she could use forty percent of her chakra to its maximum efficiency, saying it and experiencing it were entirely different. He didn't understand just how exhausting it all was.
Luckily, her shift at the hospital that day had remained pretty light. She walked into her second appointment for the day—apparently the patient had asked for her specifically. She wasn't looking forward to healing another fractured forearm of some flirty shinobi. So she was pleasantly surprised to slide open the door and see a head of silver hair.
"Kakashi-sensei!"
"Yo!" He greeted casually, his orange book snapping shut.
"Did you just get back from a mission?" She hadn't seen him in months.
Kakashi nodded. "Hokage-sama said I should get checked out. I'm fine though. I just thought I'd use this opportunity to visit my favorite student."
"Playing favorites now? That's bad teaching, sensei." Sakura bantered lightly, none the less crossing over to him and doing a brief chakra scan. He was fine except for his core temperature being unusually low.
"You're fine." She confirmed. "But you should have some tea and soup, and put on an extra sweater when you get home. You're a little on the cold side."
"Yeah that makes sense." He said lightly, not going into any detail. His dark eye settled on her. "The chunin exams are coming up."
"Is that all anyone talks about now?" Sakura sighed in exasperation.
"So you don't plan on taking them?"
"…I can't…"
Kakashi continued to stare at her for a long time, making Sakura fidget uncomfortably.
"Do you know why the Hokage is having a co-sponsored chunin exams with Suna? Now of all times?"
"Because the last exams were interrupted." Kakashi raised an eyebrow skeptically at her answer.
"And that accounts for this specific timing? And the co-sponsorship with Suna? A shinobi must always look underneath, Sakura. What else is supposed to be happening soon, in a year?"
Sakura stared at him in confusion.
I was researching Orochimaru's art of immortality, my sources brought to my attention some reliable information regarding the Akatsuki…They won't be back for you for three or four more years.
Sakura's eyes widened. "The Akatsuki are going to start coming after Naruto again!"
"And why are the Akatsuki after him?" Kakashi prodded.
"Because of the nine-tailed fox he carries inside him. But what does that have to do with—"
You're referring to Shukaku? He has most influence over me when I sleep, but not as much when I'm awake…
…Shukaku is stronger when I sleep…
Kakashi watched as the look in Sakura's eyes shifted, putting pieces together.
"Sensei, is Shukaku a tailed beast? Is Gaara-kun a tailed beast carrier, like Naruto?"
"You didn't know?"
"I knew Gaara had Shukaku inside him, and that he and Naruto could relate to each other because of it, but I didn't realize Shukaku was a tailed beast…I don't know much about them, honestly."
"Shukaku is the one-tail." Kakashi confirmed.
"So…Tsunade-sama is trying to…"
"Bait the Akatsuki using Gaara."
Sakura's brows furrowed disapprovingly. "Does he know?"
"He's aware and he readily agreed."
"So what you're saying is, the Akatsuki might disrupt this test."
"You wanted to learn more about them, and this is an opportunity to do so. If you do, you are by no means allowed to engage with them or actively seek them out. But it is a chance to gather more information…"
Sakura stared at him in shock. "Are…are you actually telling me to take the test to gather information on the Akatsuki?"
"Not at all." Kakashi stated calmly, reopening his orange book. "Just like before, it's entirely up to you whether you take the exam or not. I just wanted to make sure you were aware of the secondary purpose to these particular exams."
"But you want me to take them?" Sakura fished, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.
"I think you're more than capable, should you decide to take them. But again, it's up to you. My wants don't factor into this. It's your decision." He stood up from the exam table, glancing down at her from him book. "Well, I'll be off. I'll see you later for team diner." He tussled her hair in farewell before walking off, leaving a flabbergasted Sakura in his wake.
Sakura shook her head as she left the office, heading for the hospital lobby. Kakashi-sensei didn't know about her seal. If he knew, he probably wouldn't be so confident in her.
As she reached the front, she saw two medics and a nurse rush in with a man on a stretcher bleeding a lot.
She immediately ran over to check on the injured man.
"What's the situation?" She asked one of the medics hurriedly, taking in the gaping hole in the man's chest, and the bloody cut on his head.
"Sakura-san! He got caught under a landslide during a mission. He's in critical condition."
Sakura did a brief chakra scan, gaining the full extent of the damage. His lung was collapsing, crushing his heart. He had a crack in his skull as well. This required intensive surgery, the likes of which only she, Tsunade, and Shizune were capable of…except she wasn't capable of this kind of surgery anymore.
"He needs emergency surgery right away. Have you contacted Tsunade-sama, or Shizune-senpai?"
The nurse looked a little panicked. "They're both in a meeting and can't step out."
"Shit…then…there's only me. I can't do it, I don't have the chakra but…but I can't just let him die, damnit!"
"Take him to the ICU immediately!" She ordered, her tone full of confidence and authority she didn't feel.
"Right!" The medics didn't even question it. She was the Hokage's apprentice. Even if she hadn't been doing surgeries recently, they were sure she was capable. And her confidence left no room for doubt.
Barely five minutes later, she was in the OR, hair tied up, surgical scrubs and gloves on, jutsu formula drawn on the gravely injured man.
"I'm beginning treatment." She announced to the medic and nurse standing next to her, stepping forward and hovering her hands over the man's injured chest.
She took a deep breath, focusing her chakra into the mans chest and activating the jutsu formula, which began spiraling in towards the injury as it began rebuilding and repairing the injury, powered by her chakra.
"I'm tired of being weak and useless, watching Naruto and Sasuke-kun's backs. I don't want to keep running behind anymore. I want to walk with them…I want to be useful to them. I have to do this! I have to surpass my own limits!"
Sweat beaded on her face. Her limbs began feeling rubbery. She wasn't anywhere near done with the procedure, there was still so much damage to repair, and already she was running out of chakra. She grit her teeth in exhausted aggravation.
"It's no good! I don't have enough chakra! I need to concentrate more chakra for the surgery!"
Her small reserve was almost empty. She closed one eye in effort and concentration. She needed to produce more chakra, fast.
"Hokage-sama, we got a message from the hospital, that there was a patient in critical condition. Sakura's taking care of the surgery now." Kotetsu informed Tsunade, as she and Shizune headed back from her office after a very long planning meeting.
Much to both Kotetsu and Shizune's shock, Tsunade froze.
"What did you just say?"
Kotetsu gulped, fearing the Hokage's wrath. "Um, Sakura's taking care of a surgery on a patient in critical condition…"
Tsunade bit her lip, concerned for both Sakura and the patient. "That's not good."
"What?" Shizune asked, confused. "But, Sakura-chan's skilled enough to do a surgery like that…"
"If this was our usual Sakura." Tsunade answered, turning abruptly and speed walking down the hall. "We have to go!"
Shizune hurried after her, very confused about Tsunade's concern.
Sakura's arms were starting to shake. She was sweating profusely.
"Shit, it's not enough…but I can't let this patient die! I need more chakra…when my curse activates, it increases the speed of my chakra production, so there is president within my body to produce chakra faster than it normally does…If I can tap into that just a little…speed up my chakra production just a little bit…just a little bit faster so I can save this man, shannaro!"
Sakura's jaw clenched, her eyes squeezing shut, as she called on all her desperation, determination, and willpower to produce more chakra.
"There's only me…just me…no more saying 'I can't.' If I don't, this man dies! I need more chakra…I have to do this with my own strength, my own willpower!"
Her heart rate accelerated with her determination to see the surgery through. Her energy picked up a little. She felt the drips of energy becoming more of a steady flow, as she began producing chakra a little faster.
"It's slight, but I can feel my chakra replenishing! I can do it! I will save this man!"
Her legs were shaking now, the sweat dripping down the back of her neck. The jutsu formula continued to spiral in on the injury, until the black lines vanished, the hole in the man's chest closed up. The major damage was repaired. He would live.
"I did…it…" Sakura's vision grew blurry, her legs giving out as her consciousness faded. The last thing she was aware of was the sound of frantically clacking heels, and strong arms catching her.
Tsunade cradled her student close to her in concern. She placed a hand on her forehead, which was warm—a sign that the sealing process was still well underway, a fact which a carefully specialized chakra scan confirmed.
"Is she alright?!" The medic, who'd been monitoring the man's vitals via machinery during the procedure, came rushing over.
"What's the status of the patient?" Tsunade asked, not taking her eyes off her student, now passed out in her arms.
"The surgical jutsu ritual using chakra was completed without incident. The surgery was a success!" The medic straightened, looking down at the unconscious girl. It really was incredible. This jutsu usually required several people to pull off, and she'd done it on her own…he couldn't blame her for passing out after. "As expected of your student. She did an outstanding job."
"I see." Tsunade said, her expression becoming soft and fond as she stared at the sleeping girl. She truly was a disciple of Tsunade, one of the legendary Sanin. To think she'd pulled this off on her own while maintaining two chakra dams. The Hokage was sure Sakura would surpass her in no time. At this point, the girl was capable of overcoming any hardship that stood in her way.
Sakura stood at the surgical patient's bed side, watching the rise and fall of his breaths. That was because of her. She'd saved him, despite having to maintain the seal…she'd done it. Her whole hesitance to join Ino and Choji was because she didn't want to burden them with her weakness because of the seal…but she'd saved this man, completed the surgery, despite the seal. She wasn't useless. And it was damned time she proved it to herself.
She turned and headed for the Hokage's office.
"Are you serious? You want to take the chunin exams?" Tsunade asked incredulously, but one look at her student's face was enough to see that she meant every word she said.
"Please…" Sakura stood unwavering before her master, the same determination and fearlessness burning in her eyes as when she'd demanded Tsunade request aid from Suna.
"I already told you I can't authorize it." Tsunade couldn't put her at risk like that.
"I was able to successfully complete a complex surgery while controlling and maintaining both the dam to reserve chakra from the Hundred healings, and the dam to store my chakra I normally use." Sakura stated, refusing to back down.
Tsunade faltered…she had a point, but still…she'd completely passed out afterwards. Tsunade knew that even as Sakura stood before her, making this request, she was completely exhausted.
Sakura's fists tightened.
"I want to be strong. I need to prove I'm not useless! I need to know I've gotten stronger…"
This is more than just a test for me…and I don't care whether I achieve the rank of chunin or not. 'Am I strong enough?' Finding that out is all that matters to me right now.
"Heh…Is this how he felt back then?" She thought, recalling Sasuke's words before the preliminaries last time.
"I want to see how far I can go. I want to push myself as far as I can by participating in the exams…you said it yourself, Shishou. It's only once you hit your limit that true progress can be made."
Tsunade's eyes widened. She'd never expected Sakura to use her own words against her, like that. But she was proud that Sakura had taken her words to heart.
"Even though I'm still only a novice at healing," Tsunade nearly snorted at that—Sakura never did give herself enough credit, "Ino-pig and Choji asked me to join them. Shikamaru supported their choice in having me take his spot on their team…I want to honor their trust in me! Please!"
Tsunade looked down at her lap, deep in thought. She knew she should say no. She shouldn't let Sakura do this. But the girl had already surpassed her with that second dam of hers, completing a complex surgery alone without mishap while maintaining the hundred healings. If she could do that, she deserved the chance to push herself, prove herself. Hell, maybe this would help her get over all that insecurity and self doubt…
Tsunade sighed, before grabbing her stamp and authorizing Sakura's application.
"Here. Take this with you." She said, handing the form over to her, with mixed feelings.
Sakura lit up at having successfully received permission from her stern and stubborn master.
"However," Tsunade continued brusquely, "Whatever happens at the chunin exams will be your sole responsibility. Understood?" She wanted to make sure that if Sakura insisted on doing this, she understood that this decision was fully on her.
"Yes!" Sakura beamed. She understood fully the risk she was taking, and it was fine with her. She'd manage. She always had and she needed to know for sure that she always would.
"As your Hokage, I can't give you any hints or tips. But as your master, remember the rules of medical ninja, Sakura. As much as possible, you should avoid direct combat. If and when you get drawn into battle, because it will undoubtedly be unavoidable, you should do what you can to end that battle as fast as possible, with one hit, if you can. You don't have the energy to waste."
"Yes, Shishou!" Sakura nodded. "I'll go let Pig and Choji know!" Sakura smiled brightly, giving her master a deep bow, before running out of the office.
Tsunade sighed. She was worried. This would be incredibly hard on Sakura. But she also trusted her completely…if anyone could get through the chunin exams while working on the seal, it was her apprentice.
Author's note: So this whole arc is anime only, so I don't know how many of you count it as canon, but for the sake of ease in explaining changes, I'll be referring to it as canon. Changes I made to this one...well, slight visual change, I think this Sakura would let her hair grow out a little longer than canon Sakura's. Not by much, just barely passed her shoulders, instead of just a little above them. Since her reason for growing her hair out in this had nothing to do with Sasuke, the symbolism of her cutting her hair in the forest of death is different. In this her hair isn't representative of shallow infatuation, but of her control over her image and hiding her situation, thoughts and feelings. At that point in the forest of death and on words, she went through a period of being very open, revealing her secrets to a lot of people. Now, she's regressed just a bit. She's hit a sort of middle ground in how much she shares, so that's reflected in her medium hair length. I added Gaara visiting Sakura. In the anime he comes to Konoha to meet with Tsunade about the chunin exams, and the only Konoha 12 member he has contact with is Shikamaru cause he's acting as their escort. But there's no way Gaara as I've written him wouldn't visit Sakura. I also added both conversations with Shikamaru and Kakashi. In the anime, Sakura only gets the offer from Ino and then stresses about it on her own for a while before completing the surgery and deciding to do the exams. But I've missed writing her and Shikamaru...I really think they'd be close and get along well, and Shikamaru kind of seems like everyone's confidant. I think he would be for Sakura. I don't think anyone really knows about the seal, cause it seems like neither Tsunade or Sakura informed anyone about it. But again, Shikamaru's sort of a confidant for Sakura in this so...she tells him. Temari is never stated to have played shogi or tied with Shikamaru in it, but it's my head canon. Asuma said in the first chunin exams that Temari thinks like Shikamaru, and I really love the idea that she's the one person he can't beat...not that he can't formulate a strategy that would work, cause I do think he's smarter than her, just that she's essentially able to run down the clock on him each time. I think it builds the mutual respect between the two of them. As for the Kakashi talk, the way I see it, he was never against her gathering information on Itachi, Orochimaru, or the Akatsuki, and I think he would pass along the information about Tsunade and Gaara's plan to her. He would do it for two reasons. He doesn't know about the seal, so he would believe Sakura more than capable of taking the exams at this point, and probably thinks, like Ino, that any hesitance she might have is tied to not taking it with team 7. So telling her about the Akatsuki baiting is adding added incentive to take the test and not hold herself back on the boys behalf, but I also think it's equal parts a warning. If she did decide to take the test, he wouldn't want her running in to the Akatsuki blindly and recklessly, since they are powerful and are more than likely the sort of opponents that might cause a chakra reaction. So by letting her know, he's also assuring that if she does decide to take the test, she'll be smart about any potential run-ins with the Akatsuki. Canonically, Sakura is able to up her chakra production during that surgery through sheer willpower. That's not any different here, I just added a slight explanation as to why that works for her. Her chakra is more or less tied to her emotions. It's not that she can just produce more chakra rapidly on command and not have it be a full chakra reaction, but the same way extreme upper emotions cause her chakra to go out of control, the emotions behind determination and willpower, also effect her chakra. Again, that's not new or some added buff, it happens on a few occasions in this arc and explains how she gets through some other canon arcs, such as her battle with Sasori. I'm just giving an explanation for why that happens and works for her.
Anyways, this one was pretty short, but the next will be longer. The next updates will be the actual exams, likely split up much the way they were before. I have to figure out what I'm gonna do about the perspective switches in only continuing to focus on Sakura and events directly pertaining to her, or to also share the other kunoichi experiences during these exams...if you guys have strong feelings on the matter, let me know.
Thank you so much for reading this far! :)