Chapter 4. The heart and the hurt.
Jette felt like she was walking through a fog. A disconnect between her body from her soul, like an out of body experience. How did Edina already figure it out? Was she that obvious? Surely not. The best thing for her to do was say nothing and have her breakfast. Try not to make this weird or anymore obvious.
Neither one of them knew what this was. A one night thing? A new relationship? All questions that needed to be answered, but neither wanted to ask. She sat at the breakfast table next to Edina. Wolfgang made his way over to their table and sat across from her. He smiled at her. That smile. The smile that made her weak at the knees. She could live forever in that smile.
" So, what's the plan for today?" Edina broke the trance. Clearly, she was feeling like a third wheel. Jette was glad she did though. Now was not the time.
" Um… I think we have a radio interview today and maybe rehearsals later." Wolfgang replied.
The three looked down at their plates, none knowing what to say next. Knowing that they all knew something, but could not speak of it yet. There was work to be done.
Jette carried on throughout the day with the one thought on her mind. What now? Moving forward, moving backwards? It's difficult when exes come back together again. She didn't quite know what to think. Last night was wonderful, but she couldn't help thinking back to one night many years ago. It was like an insect crawling into her mind. No matter how hard she tried to focus on the task at hand, this little thought kept burrowing into her brain.
It was 1986 and their marriage was over. She knew it, he knew it and both of their lawyers knew it. It was a mutual decision, but she knew that she would have to pull the trigger. One of them had to be the bad guy and unfortunately it was her. Dschighus Khan was over and the band had gone their separate ways. Louis, Leslie and herself had started a new group and Wolfgang had his own. Both groups were competing for a spot in Eurovision. A juxtaposition to where the four of them were 7 years earlier. She was glad Louis was there with her. She needed this moral support and he was there. He was always there for her.
" You all good girly?" Louis asked Jette.
She was looking in the crowd for Wolf. They hadn't spoken in weeks. She had no idea what he was doing or singing.
" Me… yes I'm ok."
But Louis knew. He could read her like a book. He knew she was worried.
" It's ok. I'm here. If you don't want him to talk to you, I'll make sure of that."
She smiled at him. She knew she was putting Louis in an impossible position. He was friends with Wolfgang and he chose her. They were closer, like brother and sister, but she knew that she was asking a lot of him.
Wolfgang's group went up first. She finally saw him after almost 3 months. He looked… different… something was not right and she didn't know what. All she could do was stare at the monitor. She could tell he hated the song he was singing. He could never hide his feelings. Louis grabbed her hand. He knew what she was thinking. And that's all she needed. But, it was their turn and she needed to snap out of it. It was a cruel twist of fate that her group would perform right after Wolfgangs. Did they do this on purpose? Some sick way to boost ratings? Well, she was not going to give them the satisfaction. She was going out on that stage and she was going to sing her heart out! And that's what she did.
" We killed it out there!" Louis yelled as he danced back to the waiting room.
Jette tried to keep up with him. He was always dancing and so much faster than her, probably because of his long legs, so keeping up was a struggle.
The group entered the waiting room. There were a lot of colorful characters. Some clowns, robots and everything in between. Some people were really trying anything to get into Eurovision. And in the crowded room, there he was. Sitting by himself at the bar. His head dropped down staring into his glass.
" Leave him, he looks like he wants to be left alone." Louis whispered to her. She knew he was right. He looked sad, disappointed or melancholy. And she knew that she was the reason for that.
The pair found a spot in the crowd to disappear into. There they stayed until the scores were read. Then the night would only get worse for Wolfgang. The 1st round of scores were announced and his group was dead last. Even the weird clown group did better.
" look! We're in second! We have a shot!" Louis said in her ear. She wasn't even looking at their results, only Wolfgangs. She peered over her shoulder to find him where she last saw him. He was gone.
It was then time for all the groups to reunite on the stage. She might see him there. Hopefully? Hopefully not? She wasn't quite sure. All she knew was that he was not ok.
The night was over and neither group won. Jette was relieved. She didn't want to make Wolfgang feel worse. He had snuck off the stage and thought no one would notice. She did. SHe knew in her heart that she needed to make sure he was ok. But she couldn't do it alone.
" I have to see if he's ok. He was not himself. Can you come with me, just in case?"
" Ok, but I don't think its a good idea." Louis replied.
The pair went to her old apartment in Munich and knocked on the door.
" I'll be waiting right here if you need me, but you need to do this alone. He may feel like he's being ganged up on."
She nodded and knocked on the door.
" Who is it?" Wolfgang called out.
" It's me. Can you open the door?" She still had the key, but didn't want to barge in. A minute went past. Then another. Then another. No answer. It was clear that he was ignoring her.
" Come on, Jette, let's go. He clearly doesn't want to be disturbed." But Jette was blind
with rage.
If there was one thing she hated, it was being ignored. She took her key out and turned the door handle.
" Jette, no!." Louis whispered. It was nearly midnight and he seemed the be the only one thinking straight.
She burst through the door and say Wolfgang sitting on their couch, or at least what looked like a couch, with beer cans and bottles skewed about. Her hunch was right, he wasn't ok.
He looked up at her, his eyes were red and puffy. He's been crying. Maybe about losing the contest, maybe about her or maybe a bit of both.
" What do you want? Get out!" He yelled at her, flicking his arm in her direction.
" I just wanted to see if you were ok." She said, mustering as much courage as she could fathom. She knew he would never hurt her, but she had never seen this side of him before and it scared her.
" You" He rose from the mess, " You want to make sure that I'm ok." he continued in a sarcastic tone.
He could barely walk straight and he was slowly walking towards her.
" The one who said that she would be with me through sickness and health and then sent me divorce papers, wants to see that I'm ok." His voice continued to rise. She shivered at the thought of the crescendo.
He picked up a broken bottle and threw it on the ground. THe sound shocked Jette and tears began to well in her eyes.
" You" he continued rising to his crescendo " Who would be nothing without me, not on that stage without… ME."
Crash! Another bottle thrown to the ground. Jette was crying now. She never felt scared of Wolfgang before, but now she did. She began to sink into the floor as he continued on his tirade.
" Ok, I think thats enough. We'll get going now." It was Louis come into to save her. He grabbed her by her arm and lifted her to her feet. Still crying and an absolute mess.
" That's right." Wolf continued " Get your boyfriend to rescue you. I'm better off without you!"
This was a bad idea. They headed back to the car and she sat there crying. She knew it was her fault but in situations like this, there is always someone at fault. Louis put his arm around her and gave her the hug she needed.
" He's never been like that before. I don't know who that was in there." She managed the squeeze out through tears.
" I know. His heart is broken. He's not himself right now. And the best thing for you to do is to stay away. Who knows what could have happened and I don't think Wolf wants to hurt you."
But he had. And that pain would linger with her for many years to come.
" So… am I welcome back to your room tonight." Wolfang whispered in her ear as they waited for dinner. She snapped out of her fog. That was then, this is now. The hurt was still there but so was the love. He had shown that. But this was something they would have to discuss.
" Yes, you are, but I think we need to talk… as well as other things." She winked at him and moved up the line.