A/N: Sorry this took so long! There's been a lot going on and this chapter was strangely tough for me, but it's my birthday today so I wanted to make sure I posted! Also, big news! My first original novel is now available for preorder and will be released July 6-aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! If you like my writing and want to support me, you can find it on Amazon by searching: Turtle A by Ellie Martin-McKinsey. If you're only here for Sakura/Sasuke, totally get it, me too. So on with the chapter.
*Edit as of may 9th: I added a dream scene between her and Sasuke. It's between when she passes out after Gaara wakes up and when she wakes up in Suna hospital. I don't usually like going back to add scenes after I've posted, but this one continuously cemented itself in my head.
"Inner Sakura..."
"Sakura's thoughts..."
Memory...
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Sakura's body wanted to give out on her, but she wouldn't let it. Through sheer force of will alone, she kept going, because she had to make sure Gaara would be alright before she'd let herself fall into oblivion.
Tracking Naruto and Kakashi wasn't too difficult. She followed the signs of explosions until far in the distance, a weird white bird came into view. It went down somewhere below the tree line, but it gave her a rough idea of where to go, and she soon landed next to Kakashi, who was kneeling next to Naruto. The blonde was on his knees, his arms supporting himself, breathing heavily.
"Are you hurt Naruto?" Sakura immediately asked, though her throat felt like she'd eaten a pound of glass.
Kakashi eyed her with concern. She looked exhausted and exceedingly pale. There was a slight tremor shaking her body, and a darker patch of red stained her red shirt over her abdomen. There were other, smaller cuts covering her arms, and her left leg had dried blood caked to it. She was in no position to be asking if someone else was ok…he was 90% sure her curse must have kicked in at some point, with the paleness, exhaustion, and shaking.
When Naruto shook his head, her attention shifted to Kakashi, immediately locking on his sharingan…it was the Mangekyo…
"When did you…" Sakura gasped, but before she could finish her question, Naruto had one of his own.
"Sakura-chan, Granny…did the two of you…" Naruto trailed off, happy to see that Sakura was ok.
"Sakura killed him." Chiyo answered, not wanting the girl to try deflecting her due credit as Chiyo was sure she would. "More importantly, where is Gaara-sama?" She didn't have much time left. They needed to hurry.
Naruto twitched, his eyes growing sad and stormy. Two clones of his stood on a tree branch not far from half of the fallen white bird, supporting a likely dead Gaara.
"…Alright…" Chiyo saddened. She had hoped for Sakura and Naruto's sakes that Gaara somehow hadn't died. She'd hoped for her grandson's sake that he hadn't actually had a hand in killing Gaara. It appeared that the worst had come to pass. She really would have to put poor, ethical Sakura in a tight spot.
Deidara watched the scene unfold from his hiding spot in the bushes. It was unbelievable. That little girl had killed his Master, Sasori? Him and all his eternal beauty crap, in the end it made no difference. He was still ended, and by a little girl no less. Having that piece of his real body exposed on his chest had been overconfident…oh well. To be struck in the heart, the only original piece of him left, framed by his craft, there was poetry to that. It was an end befitting an artist. A rustle from behind him made him jerk up.
"Well done, Neji." Gai praised, standing behind the Akatsuki member with his arms folded.
"Team Gai…" Kakashi murmured in relief, watching as TenTen shot kunai after Deidara as he attempted to escape. Everyone was alright. Good. But he didn't miss the worried and confused glances Team Gai shot Sakura's way. Why were they looking at her like that?
Deidara darted to the fallen white bird and took a bite out of it. "Take a look at my ultimate work of art! It's a bang!"
"Watch out everyone, he's a long distance type who uses explosives!" Kakashi warned.
Neji's Byakugan laden eyes widened. All of Deidara's chakra was gathering into one spot! He couldn't be…
"Everyone, hurry, get away from here!" He shouted, because the way Deidara's chakra was moving, he was about to blow himself up, and the explosion would be a big one.
Team Gai started their retreat along with the Naruto clones supporting Gaara's body, being the ones closest to Deidara. The real Naruto flinched back, preparing to jump away, but Sakura couldn't seem to get her body to pick up and move fast enough, especially with Chiyo still on her back. And weirdly, Kakashi made no attempt to move either.
The explosion seemed to mount and grow, and then…nothing happened. The dust that had begun to kick up settled to reveal some strange sort of vortex, which had sucked up Deidara and the explosion before closing.
Kakashi was breathing hard, his mangekyo swirling. Somehow, he'd just made it in time. Gai glanced over at him with a smirk, he'd expect nothing less from his old rival…
Kakashi collapsed backwards, caught by the real Naruto. "Are you alright Kakashi-sensei?!"
Sakura's medical instincts pushed her forward, setting down Chiyo in the process as she checked over her sensei.
"Your chakra's exhausted…like the land of waves all over again…what in the world…did you do?" She hadn't imagined it—she knew she'd seen the mangekyo. But when had he gotten it? Specific circumstances had to be met to reach that level…when had he met them?
"Him and the explosion…I sent them to another dimension…" Kakashi answered, his sharingan eye now closed so as not to burn up anymore chakra.
"When did you…?"
"I'll explain later. More importantly, is everyone safe?"
The second after he asked it, the Naruto clones supporting Gaara dropped down into the clearing. "Sakura-chan…"
Sakura swallowed hard, her hand twitching at her side. She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to ask what she would have to ask. She didn't want to do the part that came next…but she made her choice, and Suna needed Gaara back, she needed her friend back, and most of all, Naruto needed Gaara back. She didn't want to do it, but this was her mission and the choice she'd made when not healing Chiyo. She'd do her duty.
"…Set him down…let me look at him…" Her voice was tight, her throat feeling raw from her chakra reaction and the emotions choking her.
She pushed her body to Gaara's side, and lightly set her hands on his chest. There was no movement of breath, no heart beat, no thrum of chakra. His skin was pale, his lips faded in color. She didn't need medical ninjutsu to know he was dead. Her hands shook against his chest as her eyes burned with tears. She kept opening her mouth to say…something, but she couldn't get any words to come out.
"…Sakura-chan…" Naruto asked, when no tell-tale green glow of medical ninjutsu appeared around her hands. "Sakura-chan, please you have to do something! There has to be something you can do! Please!"
The tears fell over her eyes, dropping on to her hands and Gaara's chest, because her friend was dead. The person who could truly empathize with Naruto was dead. And the one thing she could do, meant asking another to die.
Naruto was crying as well, tears trailing down his face, his body trembling. "Why was…Gaara…Always Gaara…To die like this…!" He couldn't even connect his thoughts. His fists balled tightly. "He's the Kazekage…He didn't just become Kazekage to…"
"Relax, Uzumaki Naruto…" Chiyo murmured. She was waiting for Sakura to say it, to ask her. Honestly she would have done it without prompting, but she could tell the girl felt the need to take this on herself. To be the medic and make the tough call, even if it would hurt her to do so. She'd needed it to be this way since pulling her hands away and choosing not to treat Chiyo. For whatever reason, Sakura felt the need to take responsibility for Chiyo's choice. So the old woman was waiting for her to ask, because she knew it was coming. Naruto didn't need to worry, because Gaara was going to live again.
But he didn't know that. "Shut up! If you Suna shinobi hadn't put a monster in Gaara, then nothing like this would have happened! Did any of you even try to ask Gaara how he felt?! What is a Jinchuriki anyway?! You just made up that word to call them!" Naruto shouted, before devolving into sobs. "I couldn't save Sasuke…and I couldn't save Gaara…For three years…I trained desperately…but nothing's changed since three years ago…has it?"
Sakura's heart shattered at Naruto's pain. "…Naruto…"
The blond couldn't bring himself to look at her, to face her—that was two promises now, that he hadn't delivered on to her.
Sakura bit her lip, the tears burning tracks down her face. "Please…Lady Chiyo…I…"
Chiyo knelt on Gaara's other side, her withered hands pressing into his chest. "I already made my choice, child…it's really not something for you to blame yourself for." A blue glow engulfed her hands, while Sakura choked down a sob.
"What're you trying to do now?" Naruto demanded angrily.
Neji watched curiously with his Byakugan. Was this medical ninjutsu? It didn't look like it…and it was hard to believe there was a medical ninjutsu that Sakura couldn't do on her own…
"That's…" Gai trailed off in disbelief.
"Yes." Kakashi agreed. But his eyes trailed to his Kunoichi student…she was gonna take this very hard, along with being the one to kill the Akatsuki member she fought…Sakura was going to have a rough time for a little while…
"What the hell are you doing?!" Naruto demanded, taking a threatening step towards Chiyo.
"Calm down!" Sakura ordered sternly, her voice sounding broken and tight. "She's bringing Gaara-kun back." Her tone quieted and gentled at that.
Kakashi and Gai closed their eyes or dropped their gaze respectfully to the ground…they knew exactly what this was…the rest of team Gai, and Naruto all had their own reactions of surprise and shock. None of them knew something like that existed.
"Bring him…back to life? Can you really do something like that?" Naruto gasped, hope returning to him.
"This jutsu…it's one that only Lady Chiyo knows…" Sakura murmured quietly. The strain and tightness in her voice was largely from overwhelming grief, confusion, and frustration, but the quiet volume was entirely because her body was screaming at her to pass out, and speaking any louder cost too much energy.
Neji's mind was beginning to catch up to their jonin senseis, as he watched the energy that wasn't quite chakra flowing from Chiyo. That energy flow…such a convenient jutsu couldn't possibly exist…most likely, it had risks…risks that were as great as the reward…no wonder Sakura couldn't do it…no wonder asking was tearing her up.
"Guh!" Chiyo gasped and winced, the energy around her hands weakening and fading. Her life force had already been weakened by old age, and poison, plus she'd used some of it to save Sakura earlier…at this point, she didn't have enough to bring Gaara back from complete death. "Damn…"
Sakura's eyes widened. "No! I'm not letting Lady Chiyo die without successfully bringing Gaara-kun back! This was her dying wish! She turned down treatment for this! I did not just ask my patient to kill herself without at least bringing my friend back, Shannaro!"
"Use some of mine!" Sakura said firmly, placing her hands over Chiyo's.
"Sakura, dear, this isn't just chakra we're talking about—"
"I'm…not supposed to…make it past sixteen anyways. I've got more life force than I'll likely get to enjoy…so just use it." Sakura pressed. Gaara was going to come back. She'd make sure of it, no matter the cost. If Lady Chiyo was going to die, Gaara was going to live.
TenTen and Lee paled in shock at the statement, while Neji's eyes narrowed in confusion. They were her friends, but they had no idea what she was talking about. Why did Sakura think she wouldn't live passed sixteen?
"Sakura…" Kakashi murmured sadly. They didn't talk about the ticking clock on Sakura's life. She was one reaction away from death…and that reaction could happen at any emotionally intense situation, even a happy one. The hope was that by training to control it, the worst wouldn't happen, but that was no guarantee. There was no precedent. And even if she could control her reactions 98% of the time, it would only take one slip up for the worst to come to pass. It hurt to hear her say, but…she wasn't wrong. She very likely wouldn't get to live out her full life span…she probably did have life force to spare.
"Sakura, dear…" Chiyo gasped, as the energy brightened and grew bigger around both their hands again. "What…you shouldn't…" She had a feeling Sakura's statement had to do with the way her chakra went wild in that final moment against Sasori…it looked enough to kill her then. Chiyo had recalled a folktale about an extinct clan who's chakra occasionally ran so rampant that it killed its own user…maybe they were more than just a folktale, and less extinct than previously believed. Whether Sakura was of that unfortunate clan or not, Chiyo had come to care for the young girl, and didn't want her shortening her life, no matter what.
"Sakura-chan…what do you mean life-force?" Naruto asked seriously.
"This jutsu doesn't use chakra…it uses the energy of the person's life….Once all a person's life energy has been used up, they die….Lady Chiyo doesn't have enough life force left to bring Gaara-kun back alone, so I'm—"
"Use mine too!" Naruto dropped to his knees next to Chiyo, placing his hand over her's and Sakura's. "Can you do that, Granny? Split between the three of us, it won't use up too much life force from any one of us, right?"
"Naruto…you shouldn't—"
"We're saving him together! Right Sakura-chan? You shouldn't be trying to do this all yourself!"
Sakura had opened her mouth to rebut, but she had nothing to say and promptly closed her mouth. Arguing took more energy than she had, and Naruto had just as much right if not more to give up some years of his life for Gaara. The two were bonded in a way she could never understand, and Naruto needed Gaara to be alive, maybe even more than she did.
The glow around their hands grew bigger and brighter with Naruto's energy added to the mix. Still, Chiyo knew this was the end for her. She was already old, and between the poison and sharing her life force with Sakura earlier, she was on her last minutes. The steadily streaming tears from Sakura's face told her that the young girl knew that as well. She should get in her last words now while she had the chance. A small smile made its way to her thin chapped lips. Thank goodness this was her last act. Thank goodness in her final hours, she'd met these two unbelievable kids.
"In this world of shinobi, made by many foolish people, I'm glad to see that people like you two have appeared. My past…everything I've done has been one mistake after another. Still…in my last moments, it looks like I'll finally be able to set things right. Suna and Konoha…the future now will surely look different from the time I lived…" Chiyo thought of what Kakashi told her about Naruto on their way to find Gaara. How he was also a jinchuriki and could relate to Gaara as no one else could, and how he had the inexplicable super power to befriend anyone and everyone. "That unusual gift of yours that Kakashi spoke of…that gift will surely change the future…after you become a Hokage like none before you, that is…" Her cloudy gaze shifted to Sakura, the girl she fought along side for the hardest battle of her life. The girl who showed her grandson the merits of being human. The girl who was willing to do anything for Naruto, and the only person she'd ever heard use an affectionate honorific for Gaara. The girl who threw herself on a poisoned sword to protect an old dying woman she'd known for forty-eight hours at most. Chiyo wasn't even sure what she was supposed to say to a girl like that… "Sakura, dear, next time, instead of risking your life for an old dying woman…I want you to protect those most important to you. Your life is precious dear, as are you, you shouldn't be throwing it away for someone undeserving. This world needs more people like you. So don't deprive humanity of your presence too soon. After all, a woman with a gallant spirit matching any man's and surpassing many, is a rarity indeed, in a system built for men. Surely, you'll become an even greater kunoichi than your master." She didn't have long now, she could feel herself weakening by the second. "Lastly, I have a request for each of you. Naruto, you are the only person capable of understanding Gaara's suffering…Gaara understands your suffering as well. Please, help Gaara for me. And Sakura, dear, please tell my brother how his grandnephew died…tell him about Sasori's final moments. And tell him I'm sorry for leaving him first, but it was my time. Please don't blame yourself for this dear, you were honoring my wishes…"
Sakura's shoulders shook with her crying. She trembled from head to foot in a mix of emotional grief and physical pain. But she nodded none the less, choking out her affirmation. Chiyo gave one last thin smile, her eyes closing, before the light of the jutsu faded, and the old woman fell to her side, pale and still.
"Granny…" Naruto muttered quietly. "I promise…I swear to you that I'll look after Gaara…Sakura-chan, is he…?"
The second Lady Chiyo died and the life transfer jutsu ended, Sakura had silently started medical ninjutsu, checking on his condition and healing any lingering damage. Her body longed for her to pass out, but she refused to do that until she was sure Gaara was ok. The concentration it was taking to administer treatment, maintain her seal, and stay upright through the pain and exhaustion in her body, placed her in an almost trance-like state. She didn't hear Naruto's question, or register when Temari appeared, kneeling at her brother's side, asking Sakura questions she didn't hear. Nor did she realize more and more Suna shinobi joined the little gathering, praying for positive news about their Kazekage's condition. All there was, was her, her patient, her waning chakra, and the emotional and physical pain.
"Gaara…Gaara!" Naruto tried, hoping to see some movement or sign of life.
Gaara stared out into nothingness, thinking he just heard something. Who was it? Who…were they calling? He stared down at the thing taking shape in front of him…whose…hand was this? Oh. It was just his hand. He lowered his hand, seeing a small person with red hair crouched a little ways away. Who was that? It was a boy. He was crying. Was that him? It was but, who was he? He was…
Gaara, the crying boy, looked up when a hand was placed on his shoulder. There was a blonde boy with blue eyes there, smiling at him.
"Gaara…" The boy suddenly looked older—maybe fifteen. And so did he. It was Naruto smiling down at him, hand on his shoulder supporting him, as he had apparently started pushing himself up before consciousness even fully returned to him.
He blinked in confusion and then faced forward again, to see a beautiful pink haired girl kneeling in front of him smiling tiredly. "Gaara-kun…you're…alright now…it's…ok…" What was Sakura doing here? Why was she crying? What was going on here? He looked around at the crowd of Suna Shinobi around him, his sister kneeling near his feet and his brother standing behind her looking worried.
"This is…"
"Everyone was rushing to save you…" Naruto explained gently, his smile warm. "Hey you put us through a lot!"
"For sure." Kankurou agreed with a nod. "You're a little brother I always have to worry about, huh?"
"Don't go getting so complacent. Gaara's still Kazekage, so don't be so cheeky, you underlings." Temari admonished, ever aware of the presentation of status, as enforced on her by her father as the oldest and only female.
A Suna shinobi sniffled, wiping his eyes. "This is great…I wondered if Kazekage-sama would really die…"
Mitsuri, the girl Gaara had personally trained wrapped the man on the head. "No way would Gaara-sama die that easily! Gaara-sama's a real strong and silent type, and good looking, and elite…" She flushed her tone becoming dreamy, her gaze faraway.
"Yeah! Yeah! But still there's some cuteness about him, but then he's the Kazekage…" Another girl nearby joined in the daydreaming.
"Next time, I'll be the one to save Gaara-sama for sure!" Matsuri yelled in excitement.
"No! Me!" The other girl countered, both starting to shove each other, and shoving Naruto to the ground in the process. Temari quickly stood and blocked them from getting any closer—Gaara needed some space at the moment, and the only girl she'd let near him was Sakura, a skilled medic who already saved one of her brothers.
"…Yeah, I guess I'm still just a genin…" Naruto grumbled, the female attention Gaara was getting, reminding him frustratingly of Sasuke and his fangirls.
Kankurou chuckled, squatting next to him. "Don't feel bad, women are always weak in the knees for the elite, cool types."
"Yeah I remember Shikamaru saying something like that too…" Naruto muttered, standing up to return to Gaara's side.
"Naruto…thank you…" Kankurou said seriously.
"You should be saying the to Sakura-chan and the old lady, too…it was granny's jutsu…She's passed out right now, but she'll be fine when she wakes up. Sakura-chan and I chipped in our own life force, so she should make it…" Even as he said it though, he didn't feel confident. The old lady's words had sounded so…final…and the way Sakura cried…but if they split their life force between the three of them, it should be alright, right?
Sakura overheard Naruto's comment and haltingly shook her head, her tears falling harder. "No, Naruto…she's…Lady Chiyo, she's…"
Kankurou's eyes widened in surprise. To think she'd actually used that forbidden life transfer jutsu…what a change…just what had those two done to her to change her so much? And they'd helped…given a bit of their own life force, if Naruto was to be believed and there was no reason he shouldn't be…
Gaara tried to push himself up more, but let out a grunt of pain.
"G-Gaara-kun…You should…take it slowly…your body's not…back to…full health…" Before Sakura could finished, her vision went dark, her body finally giving out, her drive crashing now that her friend was alive and awake. She tipped sideways, her head landing on Gaara's lap, only adding to his bewilderment, making him freeze, wide eyed.
Gaara's face immediately flushed pink, his heart beating harder in his chest—if he hadn't been sure it was beating before, he certainly was now.
"Huh? Sakura-chan? Hey, Sakura-chan, wake up! What do you mean she's—" Naruto shouted, too distracted by everything to process the reason for Sakura's collapse, figuring she was just a little low on chakra.
"She can't Naruto. She needs to rest. She probably should have collapsed long before this, but was trying to hold out to make sure Gaara-sama was ok first." Kakashi sighed. She probably wanted to deliver the message to Chiyo's brother as well, but just hadn't been able to hold out. He'd had a feeling when he saw her and Chiyo that her curse must have triggered at some point. It was amazing she'd held out this long. "Her Kekkei Genkai…"
Naruto's mouth snapped shut. He and Kakashi had followed Deidara too far from the cave to be able to sense Sakura's chakra, even if it had reacted…and he'd been too focused on Gaara, and recovering from almost losing himself to the Kyubi earlier to register anything off with Sakura. He felt bad…this whole time, he'd been pushing her to save Gaara when she was barely holding it together herself.
Gaara stared down at Sakura, unsure of what to do. His hand twitched to run his fingers through her petal pink hair, wipe the tears from her cheeks, and gently trace his knuckles over her jaw line. He didn't quite know what had happened, or how he was still breathing, but based on what Naruto and Sakura had just said, he was pretty sure he'd been dead. And now that he was undoubtedly alive, a small part of him was whispering that he should just act on his impulse, enjoy his life more, when else would he get this opportunity? He'd regretted it. Dying without letting her know how he felt. The boy she loved had left her behind, choosing darkness instead. Naruto had left, choosing to train over staying with her. Her mother had died in the attack on Konoha he'd been partially responsible for…Sakura might think there was no one who loved her anymore. No one who would pick her, or choose to stay. It wouldn't be right, her possibly thinking that there was no one who loved her. He couldn't know or control how others felt about her, but he knew how he felt…and she had the right to know that she was loved, whether she chose him or not. If he had really died without getting the chance to tell her, she may never know. But acting on his feelings, showing them while she wasn't conscious to receive them…he didn't know if that would be alright with Sakura…he also knew her heart still belonged to Sasuke and he didn't want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable with him. He was lucky enough for her to consider as a friend and that was more than he'd ever thought he'd receive in his life. Plus…there was a rather large audience around them. He settled for a middle ground, his hand resting lightly on her head, to show that he wasn't uncomfortable and didn't want her moved from his lap…that was a friendly enough action that wouldn't lead others to think anything of it, right? Although, judging by the look his sister shot him, he wasn't fooling her at the very least.
"Will…she be alright?" He asked Kakashi, slowly. He didn't know what her kekkei genkai was, he hadn't even been aware that Sakura belonged to a clan. But based on Kakashi and Naruto's reaction to it, it wasn't something particularly good for her.
"…The worst of it should have passed already. At this point she just needs to rest. She'll probably be out for a few days though…" Kakashi explained seriously. Honestly, he probably wouldn't be in any condition to do much other than rest either. The mangekyo had taken a lot out of him. But he had to do right by his students, so he had to make sure Chiyo's final request to Sakura was allowed to be fulfilled.
"Ebizo-sama, Chiyo-sama requested Sakura tell you about what happened in their battle against Sasori of the Akatsuki. Please allow her to do so, when she wakes up." Kakashi requested, his attention on the old man who was staring down at the old woman at Gaara's side.
"Of course…I'm curious to know what became of my Grandnephew…" He trailed off, studying his dead sister's face. "I'm just playing dead…I keep expecting her to laugh out loud and say that…hmm, such a peaceful expression she's wearing, happy even…I wouldn't have expected it…" The old man murmured sadly.
"That jutsu she used…it was a forbidden, untested, one that she lead the research into, when Suna's puppet squad was looking into a jutsu to give life to puppets. She worked out the theory behind it, but in the process said the risk was too high, before experimentation could start. It was designated a forbidden jutsu, and sealed away." Kankurou explained quietly.
"Naruto…you really are a mysterious person. You and Sakura, both…" Temari murmured, her eyes also trained on the old woman's body. "You have the power to change people…Chiyo-sama was always saying how she didn't care about the future of the village. She wasn't the kind of person who'd do something like this for Gaara."
"Chiyo-sama entrusted the future to you and Gaara…to Sakura too. A truly fitting last moment for a shinobi." Kakashi agreed quietly.
"Yeah…the same as the Third Hokage…" Naruto murmured, his voice tight. "I understand Granny's feelings for sure!"
Gaara closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before shifting onto his knees respectfully facing Chiyo's corpse, while carefully holding Sakura's head on his lap. Naruto blinked, before he registered what Gaara was doing and knelt respectfully next to him, also facing Chiyo's corpse.
"…Everyone, say a prayer for Chiyo-sama." Gaara ordered. Even just having returned from the dead, he still commanded authority and respect. And soon, everyone was kneeling, heads bent and eyes closed, their thoughts all centered on the deceased Suna elder.
Sakura recognized the white ceilings of Konoha hospital immediately. She spent almost more time there than she did Sasuke's apartment. But last she recalled, she was on a mission to rescue the Kazekage, and all of them had been in rough shape…they couldn't be home already. When she turned and saw Sasuke sitting at her bedside, her suspicions were confirmed. She was dreaming.
It was amazing how much Sasuke could emote through his eyes and the subtlest of mouth movements. He was staring at her with an expression that, on Sasuke, was bordering on unbridled, barely restrained panic. When he saw her eyes open, looking back at him, some of the tension left his body, his concern lessening a little, exasperation and mild annoyance mixed in now.
"Sasuke-kun…"
"You…nearly died…What the hell were you thinking?! You shouldn't have fought him!"
"I didn't exactly have an option." Sakura countered, pouting. "It was that, or let Lady Chiyo fight him all alone."
"You should have let her."
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura admonished. "I couldn't do that! I couldn't abandon a comrade like that!"
Sasuke frowned, grabbing her hand tightly, almost like he was trying to hang on to her, a pained look in his eyes. "You could have died. You almost died."
"But I didn't."
"Damnit Sakura! Why the hell would you jump in front of a poisoned sword like that?! You…did that before too…for me…stop doing that. Stop using your body as a shield! Are you trying to throw away your life?!"
"I…" Sakura faltered. She didn't know why she'd put herself in harms way like that. "My body just moved on its…I couldn't let him stab her…I couldn't let him kill her in front of me. I didn't want to see my comrade die in front of me…"
Sasuke's expression softened. He knew what it was like to watch someone die. It was a trauma he'd never wish on everyone, least of all Sakura, who was empathetic and caring to a fault.
"And before…when it was me?"
"I couldn't let you die Sasuke-kun." It was the easiest thing she'd ever been asked. "It wasn't even a decision. Put me in that scenario a thousand times over and I'd make the same exact choice."
Sasuke was silent for a long time, his hand tightening around hers. "I…Sakura, thank you…please…never risk your life for me. I need you to survive. You're life's worth more than you give it credit for." Sasuke reached out, cupping her face gently with the hand not tightly grasping hers.
Sakura leaned into his palm, sighing sadly. "You shouldn't stay stuff like that to me, Sasuke-kun. It gives me too much hope."
"Good, if it means I'm the only one you're thinking of in this way." He answered cockily, his lips quirking up slightly.
"You lost that right, when you left." Sakura huffed. They both knew he was and would always be the only one she was thinking of, but something about the cockiness made her want to give him a hard time. And he knew that's all it was.
"Oh? And who's taking my place?" He murmured playfully, leaning into closer to her while his thumb stroked her cheek. "Gaara?" His eyes grew stormier, losing some of their levity. "Naruto?"
"…Well why not? At least they both like me." She muttered stubbornly, refusing to make eye contact. He'd easily be able to call her bluff. Naruto constantly asked her out, but they were teammates through and through. And Gaara only thought of her as a dearly needed friend, one of the few he had. They liked her, cared about her. But it wasn't anything past that.
Sasuke leaned even closer, his eyes softening. "They're not the only ones." He murmured it so softly, she almost wasn't sure if she heard it. "Leaving you…was hard, but…you know I had to. Itachi, he…killed everyone I ever loved. He has to pay for that. And he has to be stopped, because…he could…"
"…Hurt us too?"
Sasuke nodded tightly. "He could…kill you too. I can't do that again. I can't…You can't die Sakura. Please…don't do something so reckless again…" All levity had drained from him.
"Ok…"
Sasuke relaxed a little at her answer. "Get some rest, Sakura." The hand on her face slid up into her hair, running his fingers through it, until Sakura's eyes fell shut.
When Sakura woke up, she was in a dark room witch heavy drapery. She shifted on to her side, an ache radiating from her muscles. She'd pushed herself too hard during and after her last reaction, and she was feeling it.
"You're awake."
She blinked and turned to see an old man sitting next to her bedside. Immediately her throat felt tight.
"A-Are you…Lady Chiyo's brother?"
The man gave a gentle nod. "My name is Ebizo. I was told my sis wanted you to tell me something…?"
Sakura swallowed tightly. "I-I'm sorry…I…I couldn't save your sister…She wanted me to tell you she's sorry…for leaving you first…" She only just woke up—she didn't even know how long she'd been out for, but her eyes were already burning with tears. "Sasori…I was the one who killed him…it was a long battle, and L-Lady Chiyo fought really hard…over…over the course of the battle…Sasori changed. He'd made himself into a puppet…at first he wanted to make Lady Chiyo and I into puppets as well…but…he changed…at the end there, he…told me making me into a puppet would ruin me…he seemed to regret abandoning his humanity in the end…"
Ebizo nodded. His grandnephew could be quite pig headed, just like his grandmother. To change so much like that…it was clearly all Sakura's doing. The change in his sister too…he was pretty sure Sakura had as much, if not more to do with it, than Naruto did.
"Thank you for telling me…it must be hard for you to relive…Sasori really put you through the wringer, if that scar you've got is any indication…he impaled you, didn't he? And his poison…"
"Actually, it was more like I impaled myself…" Sakura murmured a little awkwardly.
"Oh?" Ebizo blinked. "Why would you do that?"
Why the hell would you jump in front of a poisoned sword like that?!
My body just moved on its…I couldn't let him stab her…I couldn't let him kill her in front of me. I didn't want to see my comrade die in front of me…
"Because he was going to stab her." She said it so easily, like it had been the simplest decision in the world.
"…No wonder sis changed…" He murmured, before rising from the chair. "Thank you for telling me…you've had an endless stream of visitors, since you passed out. I'm sure there are at least four waiting to get in here now."
"…You mean…Has there been someone sitting in that chair this whole time?"
"Yup. It sort of worked out in shifts I guess. And the next one's starting soon." Ebizo made his way to the door, before pausing. "Sis's burial…it's common custom in Suna to bury our dead within 24 hours. We did…but we held off on the ceremony. Figured you'd want to be there, and sis would want you to be there."
"…Thank you…"
Almost as soon as he left, Gaara walked in. Sakura sat upright, wincing as an ache shot through her body in response.
"Gaara-kun! Are you ok? How are you feeling? I didn't get to do a thorough examination before! You should probably be resting, not moving around like this—"
"Sakura." Gaara cut her off gently. "I should be the one asking these things of you…you've been unconscious for 3 days."
"3 days…"
"I haven't been out that long since the first time I had a reaction…but this one lasted longer than most and I kept pushing myself afterwards…real world situations are obviously gonna be different the genjutsu simulations. I won't be able to just knock out most of the time…I better make note."
"Are you alright, Sakura?" Gaara asked, taking the seat next to her bed.
"I'm fine. A little sore is all…" She brought her hand to her abdomen when it gave a painful twinge. "A poisoned sword through the stomach plus a chakra reaction…kinda did a number on me. There's no major damage, but given the situation, scarring was kinda unavoidable." Sakura muttered absentmindedly.
"Chakra reaction…?"
"Ah right…that's my…kekkei genkai. When I get pushed to an emotional extreme, my chakra explodes and tries to kill me from the inside out…"
Gaara blinked in shock. "You…knowing you have a condition like that…you still decided to face down a member of the akatsuki?"
"And take the chunin exams. And face you down while you were being consumed by Shukaku…and continue being a shinobi…"
"You've known about it for that long? And you still…"
"Come on, Gaara-kun, you should know by now, I don't like running away from things…especially if people I care about are involved." Sakura answered, smiling softly.
"And that…extends to me…" He really was lucky to have someone like her in his life. It didn't matter if she didn't return his feelings. He'd somehow been blessed with having a place in her heart and mind, even if it wasn't a romantic one.
Sakura cocked her head to the side curiously. "Why wouldn't it? You're my friend, and I'll never let anything bad happen to you…at least, if it's within my power…I'm sorry. We were too late to stop you from…are you feeling alright? A life transfer jutsu…being…dead, I doubt there aren't any repercussions from that…" She trailed off quietly.
"You always insist on apologizing when there's nothing to be sorry for, or worry about others when you're the one in pain." Gaara sighed shaking his head. He hadn't missed how her eyes were watery and even more green than usual, like the konoha leaves when it rained. Nor had he missed the tear stains on her face when he'd walked in, after Lord Ebizo left. She must still be feeling bad about Lady Chiyo.
"You were dead Gaara-kun. Treated like a disposable container for a monster and nothing more…don't try to pretend that you weren't or aren't in pain." Sakura countered fiercely, before softening a little. "So please, let me give you a check-up…if anything, just to put myself at ease."
"I didn't come here to make you work when you should be resting."
"I rested for three days. My chakra levels are fine…they weren't really the main problem anyway." She dismissed. "Please? If only to make me worry less?"
That, he couldn't argue with, and scooted the chair closer to her bedside. Sakura leaned over, hovering a hand above his chest and sending a light pulse of medical chakra. All systems seemed to be functioning well. Heart rate good, blood pressure good, oxygenation good, muscle tone good, nerve response good, no signs of cell over-production, or viruses, chakra network intact, chakra flow normal…
"Looks good. You've got a clean bill of health." Sakura smiled, about to pull her hands away when Gaara's hand wrapped gently around her wrist, his cheeks red and eyes glued to where his skin met hers.
"Gaara-kun? Everything ok?" Sakura questioned slowly, blinking in surprise and unsure what to make of his actions.
"You mentioned repercussions from having died…there are some things I regretted. Things I wished I said…or tried harder to achieve. I want you to know my feelings because when I died, not voicing them was among my regrets. I don't expect anything more from you than what I already have. I'm thankful and happy to be considered a precious friend and comrade to you. To me, the words "warmth," "care," and "love"…they're synonymous with you." Gaara's hand slid from her wrist, to lightly wrap around her own hand as he finally managed to make himself look up at her face.
Sakura blinked a few times in confusion, trying to comprehend what he was saying, but something just wasn't clicking.
"Why would I be synonymous with warmth, care and love…Oh. Oh! Wait. Huh? Since when?! Gaara-kun is in love with me?! But why would he be…? How long has…? I had no idea Gaara-kun…"
You still call him that?
And who would take my place? Gaara?
"Wait, but Sasuke-kun was annoyed and jealous about that in my dream, not reality. He never really said that…and in the recent dream I had, he suggested Gaara-kun taking his place as well, even if he was only playing around. But that was just a dream! It was just my subconscious. But I didn't know. At all. I had no idea Gaara-kun had feelings for me, so how did my dream Sasuke-kun know to be bothered by it?"
Sakura's cheeks were pink, her eyes wide and innocent. To think this disarmingly delicate looking girl took out an Akatsuki and infamous Suna rogue…It was almost funny, and Gaara couldn't keep himself from smiling.
"I know your heart is with Uchiha Sasuke, and I'm not going to try dissuading you. Whether he deserves your love or not, he needs it, just as much as I did back then. I didn't tell you this to complicate things for you, or cause you any distress. I meant it when I said I don't expect anything more from you than I already have." He was about to drop her hands from his grasp when she suddenly squeezed them, holding tighter.
Sakura was hit by a small pang of frustration and sadness. She'd said it in her dream that she didn't even know how to move on from Sasuke, and that she had no inclination to do so in the first place. Her feelings still stood, but she felt frustrated that she couldn't return Gaara's feelings, because he deserved to be loved…but that wasn't right either, because she did love him. She did worry about him. She did care that he was alright. But when she thought of the word "love," it was synonymous with Sasuke, and that felt unfair. Because Gaara deserved just that: someone who could only think of him in conjunction with the word "love." But she did love him nonetheless, even if it wasn't in the romantic way, and she needed him to understand that. She needed him to know that he was loved, that she did love him, even if the connotations of the word were different.
"Thank you for thinking of me that way. Gaara-kun, you do understand that there are different kinds of love, right?" Sakura asked seriously, her gaze boring into his intensely.
Now it was Gaara's turn to blink in surprise. This wasn't what he expected. He hadn't expected anything…maybe a soft, shy rejection, but nothing more. Certainly not whatever was happening now, causing his heart to thrum loudly against his chest. Different kinds of love? Once upon a time, that concept would have been completely lost on him. But now, he thought, he kind of understood it. He loved the people of Suna…wanted to connect with and protect them. But it was a different sort of feeling than what he felt about his siblings. He loved them too, but it was heavier, and more loaded. He didn't just want to connect and protect them, he wanted to rely on and be protected by them. And that love was the same as what he felt for Naruto…but not Sakura. With Sakura, the love he felt was more…heart pounding and made his insides feel like a sandstorm was running through him. He'd get dazed by her beauty or struck by her smile, and imagined what it would be like to hold her hand and kiss her. That was certainly not how he loved and thought about his siblings, Naruto, or the people of Suna. But he still knew he definitively loved them, none the less.
"I love you." Sakura stated earnestly. "It's…different then how you feel about me, but that doesn't mean I mean it any less, Gaara-kun. I love you. You do understand that, right?"
No. It definitely wasn't what he expected to hear her say, but then, she was always doing that, surprising him. Smiling at him when he attacked her, adding an honorific to his name, treating him with endless warmth, care, and compassion. It was honestly foolish of him to think she'd do anything different now.
Gaara smiled, feeling warm and reassured. "I know. How could I not, when you risked so much and gave away some of your own life to bring me back? I'm indebted to you and Naruto both. Thank you for saving me. I'm forever going to be your friend. Don't hesitate to come to me, if you need something."
"Same here! Call on us, whenever. We'll always support you Gaara-kun." Sakura answered with a beaming smile, before gently releasing his hands, a relaxed ease replacing any minor tension either may have felt throughout Gaara's confession. "Speaking of Naruto, where is he?" He was the first person Sakura expected to see. Him or Kakashi. The fact that neither were the first nor second person she saw was really confusing her.
"He's down the hall. He's been splitting his time between you and Kakashi. Although he does go to the roof or Suna training grounds with Kankurou, Lee, Neji, or TenTen sometimes…he gets a bit restless when he's here for too long."
"Yeah, that tracks." Sakura giggled.
She and Gaara caught up for a bit longer, him filling her in on many of his ideas to reform and change Suna, as well as asking her in detail about her fight with Sasori—while it wasn't something she wanted to rehash with anyone other than her team, she felt the need to, given that Sasori was a Suna rogue and Gaara was the Kazekage. He asked her how she was doing since he last saw her at the chunin exams, and she summarized everything without going into too much detail about her strenuous training, the pressure she was under, or the loneliness she felt—mildly remedied by the formation of Team Kakashi, though she still felt Sasuke's absence profoundly. She also asked him if Ameno, the medic she'd met during the Chunin exams, was there, but he told her she'd been stationed at an outpost along the boarder and was serving as the head medic there.
Time passed quickly, and soon Gaara was reluctantly leaving, claiming his shift was up and that he had to get back to work—which Sakura completely understood. But no sooner had he walked out than Kankurou came in. Apparently Ebizo really hadn't been kidding about the endless stream of visitors. Kankurou had hung out for a bit, thanking her for saving him and grumbling about how she'd beaten Sasori when he couldn't even come close. Then things grew awkward and he started speaking to fill the space. Interestingly, his main point of conversation seemed to continuously circle back to TenTen and her impressive weaponry skill. After he left, Temari walked in, thanking her for saving both her brothers, and bonding with her over the pressure of being loaded with responsibilities and expectations of leadership from a young age. When Temari left, all of Team Gai seemed to mob her at once. It was during their visit that Naruto came storming in, pissed beyond measure that no one had thought to alert him the second Sakura woke up, though his ire completely vanished when he saw her awake and talking just fine.
"Sakura-chan! You're ok! What happened?! Why'd you pass out?! Was it because of your—"
"I'll be fine Naruto…there were a lot of contributing factors, although that was part of it." Sakura cut him off quickly.
"Right!" Naruto cried, catching on quickly. "Well, come fill us in! Kakashi-sensei wants to see you too!"
"She's not allowed to move around yet, Naruto!" TenTen admonished. The medical staff, acting more like fans than medics, in her opinion, had been coming in and out since Sakura awoke, essentially all saying the exact same thing: Sakura's muscles were torn, her chakra exhausted, and the poisoned stab wound, while fully healed, had done a number on her body. She needed to rest.
"Oh, that's no problem! I'll just carry you Sakura-chan!" Naruto said excitedly, a dopy grin on his face.
"No! Allow me to carry you, fair Sakura-san!" Lee cried.
"The hell you will!" Sakura and TenTen simultaneously chorused, glaring at their respective teammates, while Neji twitched in annoyance and sighed.
"Would you like me to request a wheel chair from the medics, Sakura?" Neji asked tiredly, drained from having to deal with Naruto, Lee, and Gai's antics. Usually just one of them was mentally taxing, but all three…gods he didn't know how TenTen looked so lively, but then again, TenTen always had been energetic and lively without crossing the line into annoying. Thank gods for her. And her fighting style complimented his perfectly—they really were the perfect pair, an observation he'd been making more and more recently.
Sakura twitched a little, hating the idea of not being able to move on her own. She'd always been fiercely independent, used to carrying everything herself. Depending on others was something she'd gotten far better at over the course of her training, but not to an extent as extreme as this. She hated the idea of needing another person to carry her, or an apparatus to provide her mobility.
"It'll be fine, I don't need either…Sensei's room is only just down the hall." She muttered stubbornly, pushing herself up into a more straightened sitting position, and visibly wincing as she did so.
TenTen chuckled a little, unknowingly drawing Neji's attention towards her. That was happening more frequently lately—her becoming the center point of his attention, especially over the last few days when he couldn't help but be aware of how easily she and Kankurou conversed and the interest each held in the other's weapons collection.
"So, doctors really do make the worst patients, huh Sakura?" She teased.
Sakura glowered at her, but had no words for argument, because here she was insisting she was fine trying to move before she should be and overall being a horrible patient. If she were the doctor and her patient was the one in this condition, she'd yell at them for trying to move around too soon.
"Fine…I'll take a wheelchair." She grumbled, forcing the bitter tasting words out and ignoring how Lee and Naruto deflated in disappointment.
"Then I will be the one to fetch it for you, fair Sakura-san!" Lee declared. "Should I fail, it will be 500 laps around Suna's wall!"
"Are you trying to get heat stroke? Besides how could you possibly fail? It's just getting a wheelchair!" TenTen sighed in exasperation.
"Don't challenge him or he'll find a way." Neji countered tiredly.
"So…Bushy-Brows really hasn't changed much." Naruto noted weakly, his eye twitching a little.
"Nope! Not a blessed bit." Sakura answered brightly. After all, it was Lee's dedication and overzealous attitude that had saved her and her teammates from the sound ninja during the first chunin exams. She couldn't bring herself to be aggravated by it.
"You give him too much credit, Sakura." TenTen muttered.
Three minutes later, Lee ran back in carrying the wheelchair, his round eyes shining brightly. "I have succeeded in my mission!"
"Interesting choice to carry it, but thanks, Lee-san."
Moving into the chair was a bit of a struggle, and a little embarrassing when Naruto almost had to catch her, but she finally got herself situated and wheeled down the hall into Kakashi's room.
"Kakashi-sensei! Look who's up and in a lot better shape than you!" Naruto shouted obnoxiously.
"I wouldn't call being forced to wheel down the hall "in better shape," Sakura muttered, still frustrated by her lack of mobility.
"I'm with Sakura on this one." Kakashi agreed dryly. "How are you doing?"
"I'll be fine sensei. My chakra's back, so I can speed up the natural healing process now. Without it, it'd be at least a week until I could move, but I can shorten that time. By tomorrow I should be able to walk around. The day after I'll be good to travel, although at a gentler pace than when we came here. And I shouldn't be fighting or anything for at least three days."
"And what's my diagnosis? According to the Suna medics, it'll be at least a week until I recover enough chakra to move freely."
Sakura wheeled herself closer and did a quick chakra scan. "I'd say they're right. You and I right now may have similar symptoms but different causes, so recovery time and treatment aren't the same. For me, my problem is a physical one, which can be treated with rest and chakra. For you sensei, you're suffering from total chakra exhaustion—you really scraped the bottom of the barrel with that mangekyo ability. Rest if your only option for recovery."
"You can't share your chakra with him, Sakura-chan?" Naruto questioned, his head cocked to the side.
"Not unless I'm having a reaction…I don't really have the chakra to spare. My reserves have never been as big as any of yours, and due to some training Shishou's forbidden me to talk about, sharing chakra outside of a reaction has become…unrealistic."
"Huh? What kind of training could Granny be putting you through that you're not even able to share chakra?"
"Training or not, Sakura's right, Naruto. Her chakra is our safety net, and she's never had as much of it to work with as the rest of the members of team 7. As a medic she can't be careless with it or giving it out just for the sake of convenience." Kakashi cut in. He wasn't sure what training Tsunade was putting her though, only that whatever it was negated the need for chakra weights, so he could only guess that meant keeping a portion of her chakra rationed off to a different task, much in the way the weights had. Whatever it was, it probably reduced Sakura's available chakra. Before she hadn't had many other skills she could apply her chakra to, so sharing it and acting as something of a battery made sense. But now, she was a full fledged medic, and had combat skills, both of which she required and employed her chakra for. Sharing outside of reaction emergencies wasn't on the cards anymore. Kakashi sighed. "Well, it's about what I expected, I just wanted a second opinion."
"Your sharingan…when did you get it, sensei?" Sakura asked quietly.
"Yeah I was wondering about that too…it's different from before, right?" Naruto added, leaning in.
Kakashi was silent for a long time before answering. "…I've had it for many years now…almost as long as I've had this sharingan. But I didn't have the understanding, skill, or chakra to use it until recently. Your notes helped with that, Sakura."
"You have to go through specific circumstances to get that level of sharingan…if you have it…what are the circumstances, sensei?" Sakura's tone was still hushed. It felt like such a delicate topic, she wouldn't dare address it at full volume.
Kakashi didn't answer for a long time, his mind torturously replaying the incident with Rin. "You…have to kill—"
"Your best friend?" Naruto guessed, his voice serious.
Kakashi's eyes widened. "How did you…"
"Something Sasuke said when we fought…because I was his best friend, I was worth killing…He was really determined at the time…" Naruto muttered, his eyes sad. He stared at the floor unable to meet Sakura or Kakashi's gaze.
Sakura stared at Naruto for an incredibly long minute before turning away, her eyes falling to the floor as her mind raced.
"He…Sasuke-kun really tried to…but we found Naruto unconscious and Sasuke-kun wasn't there…Naruto was knocked out and badly injured but he was clearly still alive. Sasuke-kun couldn't have thought he succeeded in killing him, there was no way to mistake Naruto's condition for dead. And if he thought Naruto was worth killing because he was his best friend, he must have known about the conditions needed to awaken the mangekyo. He didn't when he'd written in his journal…did Itachi tell him about it on the night of the massacre? Did that mean Itachi really did kill Shisui? But he got so touchy about it, almost as if he was angered by the accusation, a response he doesn't have when being accused of murdering the rest of the clan—He fled when I mentioned It in the genjutsu…and why would Itachi hand Sasuke-kun the key to becoming more powerful? It's like he's baiting him, but why?…Sasuke-kun didn't kill Naruto though, even though he was after power and that was the route to an incredible amount of it…"
"…He was really determined at the time…but he didn't go through with it." Naruto said, his fists tightening at his sides. "He rejected that power…that means…there's a chance to bring him back! I'm not giving up! I'm bringing Sasuke back no matter what!" He declared, looking up fiercely. He didn't know what it meant that Sasuke left him alive before. Maybe it had been sentiment, or maybe he'd just been too tired and injured to finish the job. But now he knew what not killing him meant for Sasuke. It meant he'd passed on an opportunity to gain more power—the whole reason he left the village to join Orochimaru. It meant there were lines Sasuke wasn't willing to cross. It meant Team 7 still mattered to him, the bonds hadn't been severed. It meant he could be brought back to them.
Sakura felt her lips twitch up reflexively. Leave it to Naruto to make anything fit to strengthen his resolve. But with Naruto reaching a similar conclusion to her own thoughts, it left room for others. "Sensei…I've known for a while now, that your sharingan was an implant…knowing how guarded clans are over their kekkei genkai, I doubt a surviving Uchiha would have willingly gifted their eye to you. Whoever gave it to you…they didn't think they would be living much longer…you accepting it…that doesn't mean you're the one who killed them…"
Kakashi blinked in surprise, before looking up at her. "That…" He trailed off. He didn't really want to go into details. It still wasn't something he ever wanted to talk about. He'd already failed as their sensei, he didn't want them to know about how badly he failed as a team member. Rin's death…it hadn't really been his fault, not exactly. He'd blamed himself for a long time, he used to have nightmares about it nightly and flashbacks at anything that so much as reminded him of her, but he'd finally come to terms with that…it still happened on occasion, but not so frequently anymore. His guilt had shifted from his role in ending Rin's life, to how he failed to keep his promise to Obito to protect her. That still ate at him.
"But maybe it doesn't matter if you actually kill your best friend or not…maybe the mangekyo awakens so long as you feel responsible for it…" Sakura mused. After all, maybe Itachi hadn't killed Shisui, but for whatever reason, felt responsible for his death. Maybe that was why he reacted so sensitively…because he acted so shamelessly about having killed his whole family, but he never once admitted to the accusation of killing Shisui—in fact it infuriated him. Maybe that was because he never did kill Shisui to begin with…maybe Shisui's death was something he felt responsible for and that's why his mangekyo awakened. What if that was the final straw that pushed him over the edge into killing the rest of the clan? But that didn't make sense, because why would he wait so long to take action? The massacre didn't seem like a crime of passion. It had to have been premeditated.
"Maybe it's not that different than the regular sharingan then." Naruto pointed out. "When Sasuke first got his, it was in the land of waves when we were being attacked by Haku in the ice dome. He thought we were gonna die back then, and that's when his awakened."
Sakura leaned forward, with that lively, calculating, light she got in her eyes whenever she was working out a problem or puzzle.
"Then maybe…maybe the Sharingan is kind of like my chakra reactions…maybe it's more about the level of emotional intensity or trauma, not necessarily the act itself." She mused, making mental note to add her theory to her notes on the sharingan. "But wait, if that were the case, then Sasuke-kun's sharingan had to have first awakened during the massacre. There's no way that amount of emotional trauma wouldn't have awakened it…" Sakura bit at the nail of her thumb, a habit she'd picked up from being around Tsuande for so long.
"Itachi knocked him out, right? Maybe he got memory loss and forgot." Naruto suggested.
Kakashi just stared at both of them in shock. Here he'd revealed something that should make them hate and lose all trust in him, and both of them…simply refused to believe he could have done the worst. They'd immediately found a loophole and dropped all their trust into it. He didn't know whether to shout at them or thank them…they were wrong, but their resolute faith in him was touching.
"You two…" Kakashi sighed, shaking his head. Words of gratitude felt strange, and admonishment didn't feel right either, in this situation. "Well, actually, this wasn't why I called you in here, Sakura. Your battle with Sasori…what happened?"
"…I figured you'd ask…"
"I know it's probably a painful memory for you. But we need to make a full report to Konoha."
"Yeah…alright. There was something I needed to report to you anyway." Sakura recounted everything she could in as objectively detailed as she could make it seem, never one to brag, deserved or not. It was hard, at some points she had to stop and take a second to find her voice again. But finally, she managed to reach the end of the battle. "He said he had a subordinate within Orochimaru's ranks, that he'd be meeting with at a place called The Tenchi Bridge in Kusa."
"Why would he tell you that?"
"I don't know…he called it a reward…by the end of the fight, I think he kinda regretted his life choices a bit. At the time, he said ten days from now, and it's been three days already so we've got seven days left until then."
"I'll send word to Tsunade. We'll leave tomorrow, Sakura, if you're up for it."
"This is about finding Sasuke-kun. I could leave today if that's what it takes." Sakura answered firmly.
"Don't worry, Sakura-chan, if you need a break or rest, I'd be happy to carry you."
"Eh…Let's hope it doesn't get to that…but what about you, sensei? You won't be up for travel by tomorrow."
"Unfortunately, I think Gai's going to have to carry me." He sighed. That was a trip he wasn't looking forward to.
The next day they stood at Lady Chiyo's grave side as all of Suna had gathered to bury their elder. Gaara gave a speech that Sakura didn't absorb a word of, but she was sure it was moving, if everyone else's faces were an indication. She was too caught up in reliving the battle with Sasori…how much she had leaned on Chiyo during that fight…and how her choice as a medic to not treat the old woman lead to her death…it was her fault. But, at the same time, if she hadn't made that choice, then Gaara wouldn't be standing there, delivering a moving speech. Was there a right answer? Was there a better course of action she could have taken? She imagined the scenario if she'd made a different choice, to treat Chiyo and not save Gaara. Then she tried to imagine a scenario where she tried treating them both. No matter what, it always ended with her at a gravestone feeling guilty.
"Tsunade-sama warned you about this. This is part of being a medic. You have to accept this and move on…" But thoughts and emotions were two separate things. And even with Chiyo's final words reassuring her that this wasn't her fault, she still deeply felt like it was.
"We should get moving now, Sakura." Kakashi's voice was unusually gentle, a hand pressing supportingly into her shoulder.
Sakura blinked through the film of tears in her eyes, glancing around. Everyone but the Konoha ninja, and the Suna siblings had cleared out. Who knew how long she'd been in her trance for.
Sakura dropped her head, her eyes fixing on the tomb stone. "R-Right. Go on ahead. I'll catch up in a second."
Kakashi gave her a concerned glance but nodded none the less. Giving her shoulder one last reassuring squeeze, he nodded to Gai, who was supporting him, and the two hobbled away, the rest of the group following them to the village walls.
Sakura laid her hand on the grave stone. "I may have been honoring your wishes, Lady Chiyo, but still I…I should have…I'm sorry. But I promise you, I'm going to save those precious to me, and protect them with my life, just as you asked. And I'm not going to let myself die, no matter what. I don't think losing me would be as great a loss to the world as you thought, but I can't look after those I care about, or my patients if I'm dead. If I'm going to protect them, then I need to live. So I promise you, I won't be throwing my life away, I'm going to live as long as I can…as long as I'm needed…even if it means I have to carry the weight of your death forever. Thank you for being my comrade, and saving my life. I'm going to go honor your wishes, and protect those I love now. Rest well."
Sakura wiped her tears from her eyes with the heel of her hand, before turning and running after her comrades. They had saved Gaara. Now it was time to save Sasuke.
Author's note: So that's another one in the books. I think it may be my shortest chapter ever, but it's definitely a transition one. Next up we're getting into Sai and the Team 7 reunion, so that's gonna be much longer. In the manga, Chiyo mentions that she's running low on chakra when the ressurecction ninjutsu starts to fail. In the anime, it's translated as energy, and I like that more becuase it specifies that the jutsu trades the life energy of the user for the person they're trying to resurrect's life. So having that jutsu not be chakra related feels more consistent, and also then allows for Sakura and Naruto both to play and role in donating life energy for Gaara. I really went back and forth on whether to have Gaara confess or not, but I kind of felt like it had to happen. And I think her answer not only tracks but also sets up a strong foundation for her "fake" confession to Naruto later. Sakura loves her friends dearly, especially Naruto, Ino, Gaara, Hinata and Shikamaru. She would worry about by rejecting Gaara making him feel unloved and she wants to make it clear that's absolutely not the case. She does love him, just not romantically. And when Gaara said he really didn't expect anything from her, he meant that, so he's perfectly ok with that answer-happy even. I don't think Gaara would have expected to be told he was loved in any way, so hearing that she loves him, regardless of how she loves him, really makes him happy. She's also starting to pick up that the Sasuke she keeps dreaming of isn't fully from her subconscious. She genuinely had no idea about Gaara's feelings for her. So she's noting the discrepancy with her dream Sasuke seeming to be aware of them. She doesn't know that she is connected to Sasuke's feelings, she's only noted the weirdness there.
I honestly don't remember if Kakashi ever tells them about Rin and Obito...I think Naruto finds out about all of that from Obito himself during the war, and Sakura's in the dark the whole time, is that right? Well, either way, there's no way Sakura wouldn't have asked about the mangekyo, and Naruto's smarter than people give him credit for, so I felt that conversation had to happen. Besides, Kakashi doesn't really go into detail, and they refuse to believe he killed his best friend, instead interpreting his vagueness to fit the narrative. Not that they're wrong. I also really like that idea that Sakura's kekkei Genkai and the Uchiha's kenkei genkai are both rooted in and activated by extreme emotions. It's another connection point for them both.
Shorter analysis, but it's a shorter chapter, so oh well. Thank you so much for all the favs/follows/and reviews! Please keep it up, they keep me motivated! Thanks so much for reading this far! :)