Chapter 59
"So, don't forget to finish reading 'Slaughterhouse-Five' by Friday, okay? I expect you to be ready for an in-depth discussion, and by now you should know what that means," Rory reminded her classful of students the next day, barely managing to put up a good face for them, while her mind was anywhere but here.
The only reason she'd slept well was because of the jar of sleeping pills that Paris had forgotten that one time she'd slept over, and told Rory she was fine to just keep them and use when needed, swearing by that particular drug herself.
And it had worked. They'd knocked her out and she'd woken up rested, with the underlying worry only coming back to her once she went on with her day.
"Hey, Rory," Serena, the school's extracurricular coordinator popped her head into her classroom as the students had dispersed.
Rory couldn't help to think the woman looked way too preppy, and she wished she could've just made up a good excuse to flee.
"Hey," Ror sighed, managing to drop a stack of papers, which she needed to crouch down in order to pick up. Serena followed her lead, offering to help.
Rory found it kind of remarkable how the woman could crouch down so effortlessly in her 4.5-inch heels.
"So, listen… the fall formal is coming up," Serena continued, almost sounding like she was asking her to be her date or something. But Rory had been at this long enough to know this meant she needed teachers to chaperone or pitch in on organizing it. She could've done without another thing on her shoulders right now.
"...and I was hoping we could count on you to help out as you've done in previous years. I mean, it beats spending the evening at school with people our age over some of our elder colleagues," Serena said, trying to put it politely that she wasn't eager to have Mrs. Chesterfield there to chaperone again and comment on hemlines the entire time or reminiscing about times where schools like this weren't co-ed.
"It's when? In October, right?" Rory asked, buying herself some time to think of an excuse. Generally, she was willing to help, knowing some participation was expected, but right now her mind was elsewhere. It felt as if she had a life outside of this place that mattered more and answering this question really didn't feel like a priority to her.
"That's right, Halloween week," Serena explained.
"Um… can you put me down as a 'maybe'? I might have some plans already," Rory suggested.
Serena looked disappointed, but tried to put on a preppy face.
"Alright then, that's a 'maybe'," she added, making a marking on the notepad she was holding, before leaving.
Rory sighed. Through many years, she'd even found all these little school events - the Shakespear play, the celebrations, the debates and so on actually kind of fun. They helped time pass quicker, both for the teachers and students and represented milestones for at least some of them. But this year - all she really kept thinking about was when she would be seeing Logan again, when she could go off to spend her winter holiday in Maine this year – to be closer to him in any way that she could.
Was she really so insanely in love, she was contemplating changing her life around? That was what she was thinking, but didn't really dare to even put into a clear statement in her mind.
These thoughts - not fully thought out - reminded Rory of the way she'd used to make her decisions when she was younger. She'd always been overly careful and safe. She could count the unsafe things on her one hand fingers. Yet those were that shone out to her most. She'd spent many evenings during the summer listening to Logan's stories about his adrenaline filled youth too. That seemed to be the thing Logan knew how to do - how to live. Even if he had regrets along with it. In her case, she felt as if she had regrets despite having made safe choices most of her life.
She packed up her things and made it downstairs, much like every day after her last class, but this day she was hoping she wouldn't run into anyone else, not feeling up to small-talk. She knew she would have a hard time telling people she was great or even fine, when the jerk that her ex-husband had turned out to be.
Corinne had study group that evening hence, she was left on her own devices. Her prospects weren't terribly exciting - finishing the shopping she'd started yesterday, curling up on the couch reading essays as she played some TV show she only needed half of her attention span to follow. The highlight was Logan's evening call. Yet, tonight, all of these activities were now shadowed by Tucker's words. She wondered how long that would go on. Maybe keeping her guessing was what Tucker was playing at? Did he have something else on her? And if so, was he really going to do something just to hurt her? Did he really care so little of her after everything they'd been through?
She started up her car, and the low rolling of Adele's 'Rolling in the Deep' started up, raising another type of mood in her. Why was it that in so many cases women let men control their lives? Why hadn't she kept those videos to herself, perhaps in order to have something to hold over Tucker instead? Why was it that she had trusted Tucker, when she really shouldn't have? And thinking back, she really should've known. A large part of being with Tucker had meant shaping her person after him. First the little things, then bigger things like moving. Even now - Logan did none of that.
Rory's car rolled out of Chilton's parking lot, but instead of taking the direction towards home, call it what you what - temporary insanity perhaps - she took the direction towards Boston, determined to give Tucker a piece of her mind.
She half expected the flame growing inside of her to cool down as she drove, barely stopping for a bathroom and a quick dinner break, but her anger just kept building.
The determination with what she knocked on Tucker's apartment door, that evening, having been let in from the main door by the friendly old lady who'd lived next door to them, had a definite urgency to it.
Tucker answered, looking like he'd barely just pulled a pair of actual pants on, like he liked to lounge around.
He was clearly taken aback by her presence; hence it was Rory who pushed against his chest and shoved him inside, closing the door behind her, almost like she owned the place. That too was a good reminder to Rory - she could've owned this place, had she fought for it.
"What the hell, Rory?!" Tucker managed.
"I could say the same myself!" Rory exclaimed.
"What are you doing here? What do you want?!" Tucker shouted in return.
"I'm here to tell you…," Rory began, realizing that she should've thought this out a little better during her drive.
"What, Rory?" Tucker challenged her, mockingly.
"I'm here to tell you that I never thought you'd be that big of a jackass, and that is the reason you still have something resembling a relationship with our daughter. This is why you live in the heart of Boston while most of your colleagues are either living in the apartments equal to the ones their students are renting or commuting a whole hour. Hell, it's thanks to me that your doctoral dissertation was comprehensible in the end!" Rory shouted.
"So, what Rory?!" Tucker replied, appearing unshaken, through Rory was pretty sure that the money thing and the fact that Tucker wasn't great at editing his own writing must've stung.
"It's a coward's move to try to use some ancient videos of us to essentially blackmail me into submission, even if you don't think that that is what you're doing; it is what you're doing, and if there is ever so much as a photograph of a screenshot of me out there, you are the one that's going to pay for it," Rory lectured. "Is this how you pay the woman who birthed your child and pleased you for years?! Uh?" she continued, not being done with him just yet. And the words just kept flooding.
"Your shouting doesn't do much good as you're the one who's going to have to explain that content to your principal once it's out. I'm sure I can pick out the ones that show solely you… enjoying yourself," Tucker suggested.
"Oh yeah? What's so wrong with a woman pleasuring herself? It's a lot more than you could manage most of the time," Rory shot back, exaggerating a little, but she knew that that too must've hit a cord.
"Yeah, but a private school teacher? You look so innocent to the outside; I wonder what all the parents would think?" Tucker shot back.
"Yeah, have you thought about what your daughter might think if she ever found out what means her father is using on her mother?!" Rory replied, having not really considered until now about telling Corinne about any of this.
"You wouldn't!" Tucker tried to laugh it off.
"You want to try me?" Rory replied, being surprisingly confident right this minute that Corinne would indeed trust her word over her dad's.
"We'll just have to see about that, then won't we?" Tucker replied, moving a step closer to Rory, forcing her to move against the wall.
It was not a position she wanted to be in. For a second, Rory felt genuinely scared. She shouldn't have come here alone - she thought. But she knew, she had something up her sleeve. But for now, she needed to act fast. Wanting to escape being this close to her ex-husband, she ducked and slipped out of his vicinity and made a dash towards his bedroom, and grabbed the photograph of her from his drawer.
"I believe this belongs to me," Rory chimed and zig-zagged like nobody's business back towards the front door.
"We're not through, Rory!" Tucker yelled after her, his face all fuming.
"Oh, yes we are," Rory yelled back up, not bothering to tell him in person that he'll be hearing from her lawyer.
As she was safely back in her locked car, she pulled out her phone and stopped the recording. It wasn't ideal, but there was at the very least some circumstantial evidence that Tucker was up to no good.
As she took the route back towards Hartford, naturally, some concern rose in her, wondering whether showing up like this had actually been the smart move, instead of just sending him communication through her lawyers. But it did feel good. It was empowering at the very least. She could fight him - it was confirmation and reminder of that.
It was almost an hour later that her next incoming call was from Logan. She picked up, feeling euphoric.
"You never guess what I just did," Rory began, and retold him about everything.
It wasn't the solution, but it was an important step regardless.
"Do you know what I feel like doing now?" Rory asked Logan as she'd kept him on the phone for the reminder of their journey and as she pulled up to her driveway.
"What?" Logan asked, rather thinking along the lines of popping a bottle of bubbly. He felt incredibly proud of her.
"I kind of feel like quitting my job," Rory hesitated, not knowing where this had just come from. The real question was - was quitting something Tucker was forcing her to do or was it truly something she deep inside of her wanted?