"The offending marron tart is to be discarded! And then--"
The scepter swung through the air again, indicating Ace and his entire group. "--These rule violators are to be expelled from the dormitory premises IMMEDIATELY! By order of the Housewarden!"
"...Fuck," Kat hissed under her breath.
"Wh-- H- HANG ON A GODDAMN MINUTE!" Ace burst out, shaking his head as the scowl reappeared on his face. "There's NO WAY such a bizarre rule ACTUALLY exists, right?!"
"Y-YEAH!" Grim agreed, regaining his nerve and running out from behind Kat's leg to stand next to Ace, glaring at Riddle. "I mean, c'mon-- if ya don't WANT the dumb thing, then give it to ME 'stead a' just tossing it!"
Kat grimaced, stepping back further and looking around. The panic was starting to rise again...
Oh, shit. Oh, shitshitshit... How many times was shit like this going to happen?! She caught Deuce's eye, who was looking just as panicked and bewildered as she felt.
"H-Housewarden!" Trey interjected, hurrying forward and bowing again. "My sincerest apologies... To tell you the truth, it was actually me who suggested making a marron tart. It wasn't the first-years' fault!"
"He's right, he's right!" Cater agreed, holding up his hands and chattering away nervously. "I- I mean, there was no way we'd have known about a rule like that, right?!"
Riddle turned to look at them, and this time even Trey flinched.
"The making of the tart is not the problem," he informed them. "The issue is bringing it--" He hit the ground hard twice with the bottom of the scepter. "HERE! On THIS day! At THIS very occasion! THAT is where the transgression lies! Do you understand?!"
Kat's hand flew up to her necklace, clutching it anxiously.
"H-Hang on!" She objected, stepping forward a little. "Even though there IS a rule like that, Ace still worked really hard on it-- we ALL did! And it was all for YOU!"
Riddle whipped his head around, skewering her with that icy gaze. "What?" He snapped, turning and taking a small step towards her. "Are you implying that this is all... MY fault?!"
She expected to be frozen to the spot like a deer in the headlights... And she almost was, for about half a second. But then a different feeling overwhelmed her instead.
Why, this pretentious little... Who does this little brat think he is?! Who the hell is HE, to decide what's important or not for everybody else, huh?!
"Wh-- That is NOT. What I'm SAYING!" She retorted, taking a step forward as well. "I am SAYING that, despite it... ACCIDENTALLY, might I add... Being against the rules to bring today, it was still made with the genuine intention to make it up to YOU! Does all of that really mean nothing?! Are you seriously that pedantic about this? Do people's genuine efforts really not mean SHIT if they don't align by a rule that they didn't even know existed?!"
She didn't realize she was still stepping forward until someone rushed in front of her, holding an arm out protectively.
Blinking, she shook her head, looking at-- at...
She was expecting it to be Deuce.
But it wasn't.
It was Ace.
"...The Prefect is right," he said, low and deliberate, but almost deafening in the sudden silence that had descended over the tea garden. "All you do is rattle off a bunch of nonsense rules the whole time, no matter what happens... I mean--" He scoffed. "What are you, an idiot?"
Riddle froze. Then he lowered his head. His shoulders tensed as his hands clenched, starting to tremble visibly. "...An idiot," his voice hissed, audibly seething with ill-contained rage. "An idiot, you say?"
"H-Hey, whoa-- S-STOP!" Suddenly, Cater had inserted himself into the standoff. Holding up his hands like Chris Pratt in the velociraptor meme, he looked around frantically. "Okay, okay-- let's all just cut this out before we all say something we might regret!"
Turning to Riddle, he gave an uneasy grin. "R-Riddle-kun-- I know you're upset, but please try to remember that these guys ARE just new students! They've only been here a few days, you know? They still haven't really gotten into the swing of things yet... I mean, Prefect-chan's not even--"
"Nah, man. I'm SERIOUS."
Ace turned, shoving the tart box into Kat's hands. She blinked, looking down at the tart, then back up at Ace as he turned to face Riddle again, crossing his arms. Somehow, she felt like he'd done that for her benefit... Like he wanted to give her something to occupy her hands so she wouldn't do something she'd regret.
"I mean-- there's a rule for literally EVERYTHING? Even what kinda tart to bring to a stupid tea party? Yeah, right. There's no way-- you've gotta be TOTALLY full of it!"
There was an audible gasp from the scores of frozen students, stepping back as one.
Instead of stepping back with them, though, Deuce moved forward to stand next to Ace. "I-- I agree with Ace," he declared, squaring his shoulders and staring down the housewarden. "I mean, of course rules are made to be followed, or most of them, at least... But-- but something like this is going way too far!"
Riddle lowered his head, hunching his shoulders even further. He clenched his hand around the scepter so tightly his whole arm was starting to tremble. Then he made a visible effort to compose himself, shaking his head and taking a deep breath.
He raised his head, looking at the pair of first-years. "Are you attempting to debate me? I see... Well, you've got nerve, at least... But very well. I'll humor you for the time being."
Head held high again, he stepped forward. "Listen carefully-- ALL of you."
He gestured with the scepter again, indicating the whole garden. "By breaking even the smallest of rules, you are paving the way for even LARGER infractions! Rules are the only thing that separates us from the animals! Without structure, society would collapse into anarchy! Do you understand?! Have I made myself clear enough?!"
"Rrrrr..." Ace whirled around, flinging an arm out as he addressed the assembled students. "Hey, you guys! I know you're all scared of losing your magic an' all, but isn't living like this already punishment enough?! I mean, you DO know this is insane, right?!"
There were several startled gasps from the crowd, drawing back again. There was a stuttered protest from somewhere, but Kat couldn't hear if it was for or against Ace's question.
"Heh... Really?" Riddle asked coolly, that small, mirthless smile spreading across his face again. "Is that so? How interesting..."
Folding his arms, he turned his head slowly, sweeping his eyes across the garden like a searchlight. Finally, his gaze stopped on a random, hapless student, who snapped to attention with a shiver. "F-F-Far from it, Housewarden!" The poor kid squeaked, voice cracking a little. "He's out of his mind!"
"Th-That's RIGHT!" Someone else piped up urgently. "We all depend on your impeccable judgement, sir!"
"N-No way!" Grim spluttered, bristling again and pressing himself up against Kat's leg. "Why, these little... Wh-What's wrong with them?!"
"Rrrrrrrrrr... Tch!" Ace scoffed, shaking his head and spitting towards the ground. "Shoulda' known you'd all be too whipped to come out and admit the truth... What a bunch a' spineless cowards! Fuckin' lame..."
"HA!" Riddle gave a short, sharp burst of laughter, throwing his head back. "THERE!" He declared, pointing at Ace with the scepter again. "You see?"
He stood up a little straighter, looking at the taller redhead with a satisfied smirk. "In the year since I became Housewarden, not a single one of my students has repeated a year, dropped out, nor suffered expulsion! Out of all the houses at this school, our Heartslabyul is the only one that can boast such a feat! Furthermore, out of everyone in this dorm, MY academic standing is the highest! Not only that, but my magic is by far the strongest! Hence, I--"
He put his hand on his collarbone again, chest swelling with pride and anger. "Am the MOST CORRECT! If YOU ALL would simply cease these petty protestations and ACCEPT MY RIGHTFUL LEADERSHIP, we wouldn't need to CONTEND SO!"
He was really starting to get heated now, gesturing widely. He stomped a foot every now and then to punctuate his words, almost like a toddler... Even his face was getting red.
It was scary, comical, and... And pitiful... O-Or maybe pitiable? Or maybe she should just stick with sad...
Kat closed her eyes, wobbling a little bit as another wave of dizzy deja vu washed over her. The piercing, lonely blue eyes of that enormous hell-beast from her dream seemed to stare back at her from the darkness for a second...
"No way!" She heard Deuce protest. "That's-- that's not..."
Opening her eyes, Kat shook her head, stepping forward before she realized what she was even doing. "So. WHAT?!" She demanded, shoving the tart box into Deuce's unsuspecting hands this time. "Just because all that might be true, it DOESN'T give you the right to TREAT people like this, or CRAP ALL OVER things that are IMPORTANT TO THEM! You don't OWN people! People don't BELONG to anybody but themselves-- and they DEFINITELY don't belong to YOU!"
This actually seemed to stop Riddle in his tracks. He froze, turning and looking at her with a pale, startled face.
"Own?" He repeated, voice losing a bit of its vigor. "I-- I don't-- want..."
The silence fell back across the garden again. The brief moment of uncertainty passed, and Riddle lowered his head again with a growl. He tightened his grip on the scepter, and Kat thought she could almost hear a faint creak. His chest started to heave-- slowly at first, but gradually speeding up.
"It's-- it's not 'off with your heads' because I WANT to," she heard him mutter through gritted teeth. "Rules must never be broken. Ever. It's those who violate them who are in the wrong..."
Out of the corner of her eye, Kat saw Trey shift uneasily. His face was clouded, and he was staring at Riddle with... With...
What was it? Was it pity? Concern? Helplessness? Regret?
Riddle continued, both his fists clenched tightly. "If you will not obey me..."
He raised his head sharply, eyes blazing with fury as he swept the scepter through the air, gesturing wildly towards the whole crowd. "...THEN I WILL HAVE ALL OF YOUR HEADS!"
"Okay, okay!" Cater scurried forward again, clapping his hands with a pale, insincere grin. "I think we all get the message... Repeat after me! 'Yes, Housewarden Riddle!' Okay?! One, two--"
"...I... I can't," Deuce interjected. He wasn't shouting, just stating in a flat, matter-of-fact tone, head lowered but his shoulders straight and tall. "I'm sorry, but I can't-- n-no. I won't do it."
"D-Deuce," Kat murmured, putting a hand to her chest. She looked around, then stepped forward, standing next to him. "Me, neither," she announced, putting her hand on his elbow.
Not that she even went here, but... Well, she couldn't just leave Deuce standing up here alone like this.
"Same here!" Ace agreed, planting his feet and scowling. "There's no way I'd ever bow to self-important, self-obsessed, SELFISH little tyrants like this guy!"
Riddle flinched, then stiffened again. His free hand jerked open and closed for a few seconds. "What... Did you just say?" His quiet voice asked, no longer angry or uncertain, just deadly calm.
Grim clawed his way up to Kat's shoulder, standing up with one paw on the side of her head to balance himself. "He SAID that you're a SELFISH lil' tyrant who wants to go an' destroy good food just because he's throwing a dumb tantrum!" He shouted, pointing angrily at Riddle with his other paw.
"Wh-- HEY!" She and Deuce spluttered in unison, looking over at him in shock.
"That is-- NOT what I said!" Deuce protested, raising his hands. "I didn't say ANYTHING close to that!"
"And this isn't about the food, Grim!" Kat added, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and pulling him off her shoulder. "You seriously need to--"
"OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!"
Suddenly, Grim and Deuce were both surrounded by a blinding flash of light.
Kat yelped, dropping Grim reflexively and staggering back with her forearm thrown over her eyes.
"GWAAAAH!" They both yelled hoarsely.
She lowered her arm a little, squinting one eye open to see what had just happened.
"Gwrrrrrgh... N-Not this stupid COLLAR again!" Grim spluttered, rolling around on the ground and bunnykicking at the black-and-red implement around his neck.
Deuce had dropped the tart when the flash of light had occured, shaking his head and staggering back as well. "Rrrrrrr-- sh-SHIT!" He hissed, shoving his fingers into the gap between his own collar and neck and tugging furiously. "It-- won't come OFF!"
She patted her own neck for a second-- nope, nothing there. Well-- duh, of course there wasn't... It's not like it would even DO anything, right?
Despite that, she couldn't help but feel... Almost- insulted? What-- did HER show of defiance not warrant any retaliation?! Oh, well-- fuck HER, she guessed, it's not like SHE'S anybody to worry about or anything, right?!
"TREY! CATER!" Riddle shouted at the top of his lungs, pointing angrily at the group in front of him. "I WANT THEM THROWN OUT-- IMMEDIATELY! EXPEL THEM FROM THE PREMISES AT ONCE!"
Trey and Cater exchanged looks with each other, looking pale.
"...Yes... Housewarden," they murmured after a second, faces set into grim looks of resolution. With that, they set forward towards the group, heads lowered with purpose.
"Rrrrr... FUCK!" Kat hissed loudly again, head whipping around as she glanced around the garden.
God dammit... Dammit, dammit, god fuck DAMMIT! There was NO way she was just gonna leave and let this little-- this little...
"N-No way," Deuce muttered, stopping his futile struggle with the collar and stepping back. "Clover-senpai, Diamond-senpai... C-Come ON!"
"Sorry, sorry!" Cater chirped, giving a pretty good attempt at his usual wave and grin. "But we can't go against our dorm leader... You guys understand, right?"
She looked at Trey, who was avoiding eye contact. "...Sorry," he muttered, shaking his head slightly as the two drew closer.
Ace gave a loud, frustrated shout, shoving past her and planting himself between the encroaching senpais and them. "Ahhhhh, okay-- FINE! I see how it is! In THAT case-- BRING IT ON!"
Trey just shook his head again, not saying anything.
Kat gritted her teeth, looking back and forth between the upperclassmen and Riddle. Dammit--!!!
"Okay, Kitty-Kat," Cater began, drawing closer with a smile. "It was nice of you to stick up for Deuce-chan, but--"
She ducked under his arm. Bolting across the small strip of lawn, she skidded to a halt in front of Riddle. He actually recoiled as she approached, stepping back and looking startled and unsure.
"YOU," she snapped. Grabbing one of his lapels, she yanked him forward. He wasn't quite as light as he looked... There seemed to be a little muscle on that childlike frame.
Then she stopped.
Now that she was here, she didn't know what the hell she wanted to do... Punch him? Slap him?
Somehow, even though she was pissed, she... She just couldn't... She felt like that aesthetically sickly Victorian child bone structure of his would shatter if she applied any force at all.
The rage started to seep out of her... And it only drained faster when she saw the expression that flashed across his face.
It was only for a moment, but-- he flinched... He actually fully flinched, face draining of all its color. Turning away, squeezing his eyes shut, he raised one of his hands slightly, like his first instinct was to shield himself.
"I-- oh..."
Kat dropped his collar. She took a few uncertain steps back, lost for words.
"I-- I'm sorry, I--"
Something bumped against her side. She blinked, looking down.
...Oh.
The ghost camera was still hanging from her shoulder, bouncing a little against her hip.
Her eyes darted between it and Riddle, who'd staggered back, putting a hand on the table behind him to steady himself. Shaking his head, he glanced uncertainly at her.
For about half a moment, something passed between them. Some kind of understanding, a wordless apology or communication or.. Or something.
Then she grabbed the camera, pointing it in the general direction of Riddle and pressing the button. There was a loud click, a blinding flash of light, and the housewarden yelped loudly, staggering back again.
"Get flashbanged, IDIOT," she snapped.
The photo slid out. Snatching it, she crumpled it in her fist as she dropped the camera back to her side, flipping him off with her other hand. He didn't seem to see it, almost falling against the table and putting a hand to the side of his forehead.
Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around her midsection. Trey lifted her bodily with a faint grunt, starting to carry her towards one of the openings in the hedge. "Okay, that's enough," he said matter-of-factly as she started to swear and struggle, trying to pry his arms loose. "I get that you're upset, but--"
"Hey, don't FUCKING TOUCH ME, JACKASS!" She yelled, kicking her legs. "I SWEAR TO GOD, Trey, I'm gonna fucking BITE you-- put me down RIGHT NOW!"
"--But carrying on like this isn't going to help with anything," Trey continued, grimacing a little, but not letting go. "Just leave, okay? Thanks for coming, but... It's better if you leave."
Kat growled under her breath. Twisting around to keep Riddle in her sights, she pointed angrily. "Hey-- SCREW you, you pretentious little TWINK! Don't think you can just keep treating people like this and get away with it, you HEAR me?! FUCK you!"
Ace's famous last stand wasn't going very well. He'd fallen over on the ground, with holographic leaves and mist clinging to him, coughing angrily.
Deuce backed up, looking nervous as Cater turned to him. "O-Okay, senpai, okay-- we're leaving!" Darting forward, he snatched up Grim, still kicking at the collar and ducking to follow Trey and the still-swearing Kat.
Once they'd passed through an opening and onto the other side of the hedge, Trey finally put her down, and she staggered a little before getting her balance back.
"Sorry," the vice-housewarden said, shaking his head and reaching out to pat her shoulder.
She literally hissed like a cat, snapping her teeth at his hand.
He grimaced, pulling it away and taking a few steps back. "...Sorry," he said again. "Okay, I get it... I'm sorry. I really am."
"Fuck off," she snapped, crossing her arms.
Deuce hurried over to them, with Grim tucked under one arm. Then Cater followed, practically dragging a flailing, cursing Ace by the back of his jacket. "Okay!" He chirped, dropping Ace and brushing his hands together. "We'll take you back to the dorm building, 'kay?"
Ace rolled upright, still growling. "Dammit... It's not like we have a fucking CHOICE, is it?!"
" 'Fraid not," Cater apologized, fiddling with a lock of his hair again while Trey just crossed his arms, looking to the side.
"Rrrr... FINE!" Ace snapped, throwing his hands up. "Let's just get this over with! Well?! Let's go, come on!"
The senpais guided them through the twists and turns of the hedge maze, with Cater leading the way, chattering away in an attempt to fill the awkward silence. Trey took up the rear, pulling the brim of his hat down with his eyes fixed on the ground.
Eventually, they reached the entrance.
Cater patted Ace and Deuce firmly on the backs. "Look-- I really am sorry about all this," he said, the smile slipping off his face for a second. "Really."
Then he stepped back, shoving them lightly and making them stumble out of the entrance. Deuce actually dropped Grim, who fell onto the path with an angry mewl, but they both managed to catch themselves and avoid falling over.
Kat was already there, arms crossed and glowering at Trey and Cater.
"Okay then, folks-- T-T-Y-L," Cater chirped, giving them a wave.
"Oh, FUCK you, senpai," Ace spat, rubbing the back of his head and staggering a little.
Cater gave him an apologetic grimace, twirling his hair around his finger. "Sorry, sorry..."
Trey adjusted his glasses, sighing a little. "Look, we'll try and calm the dorm head down a little... Hopefully next time, you'll actually get let back into the dorm when you apologize."
"Rrrrrr... FUUUUUCK!" Ace yelled hoarsely, ruffling his hair with both hands. "Well, in THAT case-- you can just FORGET ABOUT IT! THERE IS NO WAY I'M EVER, EVER GONNA APOLOGIZE TO THAT SELF-CENTERED LITTLE BRAT!"
Trey and Cater exchanged glances. "...Anyway, like I said-- we'll try and soften him up for you," Trey continued as the pair stepped back. "Why don't you just go back to Kat's dorm for now? I'll... Talk to you later."
With another ponderous creak, the wrought-iron gate swung shut again. The pair of upperclassmen turned, wandering back towards the party venue.
"DAMMIIIIIIIT!" Ace yelled, running forward and kicking the gate angrily. "SCREW YOU, ASSHOLES! HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A CRUMPET-- YOU AND THE DORM HEAD!"
Author's Notes:
*Accidentally almost gives Riddle a Maleficent line* I didn't remember it was one of hers until after I wrote it, lol.
Kat listening to Riddle's rule speech: *sweats in socialist*
I'm... I'm sorry, I thought Kat literally getting carried out like Rosa in that one Brooklyn 99 scene would be funny. That's my only excuse.
Open letter to Riddle's bitch-ass mom: Meet Me In The Fucking Pit. 1V1 Me IRL. Catch Me Outside The Denny's At 2AM. I'll Fucking Vibe Check You So Hard You'll Get Reverse Isekai'd, Bitch. Hope You Enjoy Late-Stage Capitalist Hellscape.