Crowley nodded, folding his arms and cupping his chin thoughtfully. "I see," he mused. "So that's the situation, is it?"

He looked around at the group. "You don't wish to apologize in order to get the collars removed, but, alas, are unable to devise any other solutions... Besides submitting obediently to your Housewarden's mercies, of course?"

"Mmm," Ace grumbled, ruffling his hair again. "Yeah-- pretty much."

"Hmm," Crowley mused again. "Well-- if you truly find your housewarden so distasteful, you could always apply for a dormitory transfer... However, I'm afraid it isn't quite as easy a task as it sounds."

He looked around again, then continued. "The Dark Mirror selects the house based on the nature of your very soul-- and a placement based on something so absolute cannot be so easily changed. It would necessitate quite a burdensome array of rituals, ceremonies and other such proceedings... In fact, it may take anywhere from a few weeks to nearly a year!"

"Transferring, huh," Ace muttered, crossing his arms again and leaning against a shelf. "Tch... I dunno, I think that'd just feel like running away and letting him win, you know?"

Deuce nodded in agreement, chewing the corner of his lip and frowning.

"Hmm," Crowley said one more time. "I see. Well, in that case--"

He spread his hands, giving a perky smile. "--Perhaps you should simply challenge Rosehearts-kun to a duel over the dormitory's leadership?"

There was a beat of comedic silence.

Then--

"WHAAAAAT?!" Everyone but Kat demanded in unison, their loud cries rattling the iron chandeliers on the ceiling. She jumped, hands flying to her ears and wincing.

"EXCUSE me!" Crowley hissed sharply, putting his hands on his hips and scowling. "Lower your voices-- please!"

Ace coughed, pounding on his chest with a fist for a few seconds. "Th--that's because YOU just said something completely insane, Headmaster!" He objected in a hoarse whisper, looking panicked.

"Oh, I assure you-- there is nothing 'insane' or even 'odd' about it," Crowley replied, voice back to a normal speaking volume. "After all, that's how Rosehearts-kun himself got his position. In fact, our very own Clover-kun can confirm-- he witnessed it himself, after all."

Kat looked around at Trey, raising her eyebrows in a query, and he nodded in confirmation. "Wow," she said out loud, looking back at Crowley. "So... A challenge? What does that mean, exactly?"

"And, speaking of-- how ARE the housewardens selected, anyway?" Deuce frowned, touching his chin. "I haven't really thought about it much so far..."

Grim came back over to Kat, jumping back up to her shoulder. It didn't go quite as smoothly as usual.. He knocked the side of her face with the unwieldy collar, making her hiss and stagger slightly. "OW," she snapped, rubbing the spot where the metal frame had collided.

"Oops-- sorry," Grim muttered, giving her an apologetic look. Then he turned his attention back to Crowley. "Anyway-- Trey DID say somethin' about Riddle ending up in the top spot a week after he got in," he continued, frowning. "So? How'd that work?"

"There are several methods by which housewardens are selected," Crowley said. "One may be endorsed by the previous leader, for example... Or by acquiring the support of an overwhelming majority of your fellow dorm students. However, the simplest and most straightforward way is with a duel."

"Ahh," Kat said, nodding. "Right-- so basically, if you beat the other guy, you're in, right?"

"Precisely!" Crowley beamed, spreading his hands again. "Very eloquently put, Miss Prefect."

"Hang on, though," Ace objected. "What kinda duel? Isn't fighting with magic against the rules?"

"Generally speaking, yes," Crowley replied, nodding. "For personal spats or retaliation, that is. However, a duel initiated through a formal procedure, and carried out in the presence of the Headmaster... That is, myself-- is a completely different matter."

Trey frowned, putting a hand to his mouth and looking worried. "Mmmm... If I remember correctly, the rules of the duel state that both opponents have to face each other on completely equal terms, so... Technically speaking, Riddle would have to remove the collars without accepting any apology. But..."

"The right to challenge one's housewarden is guaranteed to any and all students enrolled here at Night Raven College!" Crowley continued, smiling happily again. "So? What say you, Trappola-kun? Will you attempt to challenge Rosehearts-kun?"

Everyone turned to look at Ace, who grinned. "Heh-- alright! Sure, I'll give it a shot!"

Oh, no... Oh, THIS was going to go EXTREMELY well.

"Hang on--" she tried.

"Count me in too," Deuce interjected, driving his fist into his palm again with a determined glower.

"Wh--" Kat tried again, but Grim jumped down off her shoulder, standing up on his hind legs. "I'll do it too!" He declared, punching his paw up into the air.

"HEY!" She protested, glaring at him.

"Ah-- unfortunately, Grim-kun, you can't," Crowley interrupted. "Students are unable to challenge the heads of dorms they don't reside in, I'm afraid."

"F-FNYAGH!" Grim spluttered, looking panicked. "No way... Then how the heck'm I gonna get this lousy collar off, huh?!"

"Ha ha!" Ace laughed, jabbing his thumb proudly into his own chest. "Hey, no problem! Once I'm Housewarden, I'll just tell Riddle to take it off-- no sweat!"

"Rrrrrrr," Grim complained, dropping into a sitting position and crossing his arms. "No way... I wanted to look cool an' tough in front of everybody, not sit on the sidelines like some kind'a damsel!"

"I'm sorry, should I feel insulted by that?" Kat asked, giving him a sharp look with her hands on her hips.

Grim winced, looking guilty. "U-Um... N-No offense," he muttered, hanging his head.

"Hang on, do you actually think I'm a damsel?!" She objected. "What, have I not been pulling way more than my weight in this group so far, even without magic?"

"Hold on a second," Trey interrupted, moving forward and raising his hands. "Are you two really sure about this?! I mean-- I definitely didn't expect this from you, Deuce."

"Oh-- really? That so?" Deuce grinned, cracking his knuckles with his eyes gleaming with excitement. "I wouldn't be much of a man if I DIDN'T take the opportunity to reach for the top at least once, right? Besides-- this way, it's two against one! That doubles the odds, right?"

"Heheh..." Ace sidled over, elbowing Deuce in the side with a wicked grin. "There it is-- Bad Boy Deucey makin' an appearance again, eh?"

Deuce stiffened, blushing. "Huh?! N-No way..."

He coughed into his fist. "I-- I mean, that's just common sense, right? It's better to work together... That's what the Prefect taught us, remember?"

"Wonderful!" Crowley beamed, clapping his hands. "I'm glad to see that Miss Kat has been such a good influence on you two!"

"Wh-- hang ON!" Kat protested, raising her own hands. "Do not rope me into this-- I NEVER suggested this, okay?!"

Crowley ignored her. "Well then-- I believe I should return to my office," he said. "The paperwork for the duel application isn't going to do itself, you know?"

Humming, he turned on his heel, starting to walk away down one of the aisles with a spring in his step.

Kat watched him for a second, then shook her head, turning back to Ace and Deuce. "This is-- SUCH a bad idea," she huffed, running her hands through her hair in helpless frustration. "I mean-- UGH! God! Why the hell would you decide to do this?!"

Ace laughed, stepping back and crossing his arms. "Hey, come on-- don't get all worked up on us now, Pre-K! No need to worry-- all we need's a plan."

Kat closed her eyes, rubbing her forehead for a second. When she opened them again, Ace, Deuce and Grim were all staring at her expectantly.

"...NO!" She snapped, gesturing angrily. "I will NOT have anything to do with this! You idiots can try to work this one out yourselves!"

"Hmmmmm," Deuce muttered, frowning for a second. "Honestly, I don't think we'd be able to go up against the housewarden with pure magic."

Then he perked up, grinning. "Hey-- if we can't beat him with magic, how 'bout doing it the good, old-fashioned way?"

Kat slapped her hand over her face. God-- SERIOUSLY?!

"Ooh-- not a bad idea!" Grim piped up eagerly. "That guy does look like a real pushover-- I mean, even Kat here--"

"I am leaving," Kat interrupted, turning on her heel to walk away. "I am leaving, I don't-- GAH-!!"

She'd almost collided face-first into Crowley's chest. Giving a strangled yell, she stumbled back, shaking her head. Luckily, Trey hurried forward, grabbing her elbow before she could do more than wobble a little.

"Ah, yes, I forgot to mention," the Headmaster piped up, like he hadn't just jumpscared her into almost cracking her head open on a bookshelf. "Any and all attacks carried out during this duel must be magical in nature-- any physical attacks are strictly forbidden."

"Wh-- H-HUH?!" Deuce spluttered, jumping back. "No way..."

"Ha ha ha!" Crowley laughed, leaning his head back. "Ah, yes-- a proper, civilized duel between gentlemen is truly a wonderful thing, is it not? Now then-- I really must see to that paperwork. In fact, I believe I might just be able to see to it that the duel takes place on the morrow!"

Touching the brim of his hat, he bowed. "Now then-- I must take my leave. Have a pleasant evening, all!"

He turned again, strolling back out of sight into the mazelike aisles of the library. The clack of his shoes faded away into silence.

After a second, Ace shook his head. "A-Alright!" He said, regaining a slightly nervous grin and clapping his hands. "Hey, there's no turnin' back now, so let's do this! I... May not be the GREATEST mage in the world, but... We'll figure SOMETHING out, right?"

"R... Right!" Deuce agreed, nodding and slamming his fist into his palm again. "That's the spirit!"

"Hey, don't forget that it's MY neck on the line over here!" Grim objected, running in front of them and waving his paws.

Kat shook her own head, regaining her balance and taking her elbow out of Trey's grip. "Thanks," she said, looking over her shoulder at him.

"No problem," he replied, adjusting his glasses. Then he looked over at Ace and Deuce. "You guys..."

Ace turned to look at Trey, putting his hands on his hips again and scowling. "Listen up," he said. "When I'm dorm head, the first thing I'm gonna do is make Riddle apologize! He's gonna say--"

He clasped his hands, opened his eyes wide and batting them a few times. " 'Oh, mighty Housewarden Ace, pwease forgive me! I was wrong, I'm SOOOOOOO sowwy'!"

Then he crossed his arms, scowling again. "And after that, nobody in the dorm's gonna have to follow any of those stupid fuckin' rules ever again! You hear me, senpai?!"

Then he turned, starting to walk away with Deuce at his side and Grim hopping along in front of them.

Trey just watched them go, an odd expression that Kat couldn't quite figure out on his face.

"...Look, I'm sorry about them," She said, turning to look at him. "I- I really am."

Trey shook his head, giving a quiet laugh. "Hey, n-no need to apologize to me... YOU can't control what they do."

"...Yeah," she agreed, rubbing the back of her neck. "But-- you know..."

There was another brief silence.

"...I-- I agree with Ace, though," she said after a moment. "Or-- about some of it, at least. I think he was out of line to attack you like that, but..."

Huffing, she pushed her bangs back out of her face again, shaking her head. "He... He can't go on like this. You know that, right?"

"...No," Trey murmured, leaning back against the bookshelf with a hand to his forehead again. "Or-- no, I mean yes. Yes, I know... I have known for-- for ages, but..."

He took his glasses off, pinching the bridge of his nose for a second. "...I think I needed to hear it. Out loud, I mean. Now, I-- fuck, I can't believe I ever let it get this far...! What was I thinking?!"

He buried his face in his hand, giving a sharp, breathy laugh. "I really am a shitty excuse for a friend..."

"Hey, no, come on!" Kat protested, touching his arm lightly. "Not-- not totally, at least! Sure, the rug-sweeping and the enabling isn't great, but... I mean, I can tell you care about him a lot! And now you're actually recognizing what you did wrong... I mean, you DO plan to do something about it now, right?"

Trey looked over at her, brows furrowed. "Yeah, but..."

"Hey," she said again, poking him in the arm firmly. "You may be a year older than Riddle, but I'M a year older than YOU, so you have to listen to ME now. When you see people hurting-- people you care about... It's, like, human nature to try and do anything to avoid hurting them even more. That's obvious, right?"

Trey blinked, nodding cautiously.

"But sometimes, doing that ends up hurting them even more in the long run," she continued. "I mean, if he was walking around with a big fuckin' metal bar jabbed through 'im, would you just let him keep doing that 'cause pulling it out would hurt? Or-- some other similar concept."

She flapped her hands around her head for a second. "Look, you know what I'm saying, right?"

Trey put his glasses back on, rubbing the heel of his palm against his eye for a second. "...Yeah," he said hoarsely, giving her a small, wry smile. "Yeah, I-- I do... And you're right. Thanks, Prefect."

"You can call me Kat," she replied, folding her arms and smiling. "It IS my name."

Then she put her head to one side. "I-- don't exactly think he's a bad kid, you know," she said, chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully. "I kind of-- I guess, like him? I mean, he's... He's a little intense, but... Not exactly MEAN, I don't think. At least, not on purpose. He's... Interesting, I guess."

She looked at Trey again, grinning. "After all this, I wouldn't mind getting to know him a little more-- maybe even be friends with him. If he wouldn't mind. And if he'd even want to talk to me, after I called him a pretentious little twink."

Trey actually looked surprised. "Oh... R-Really?" He asked, eyebrows raising. "Well..."

Stepping back too, he tapped his chin, giving her an exaggeratedly thoughtful look. "...I don't think he'd mind," he said after a second. "Not at all... Though, I'm not sure what he thought of the twink statement."

She snorted, putting the back of her hand to her mouth and grinning. "Guess we'll just have to see... Anyway. Listen, I'd better go catch up with them. Gotta make sure they don't rope themselves into any more duels to the death or whatever, okay?"

"Okay," Trey smiled, nodding. "Good night..."

" 'Night, Trey," she said, waving over her shoulder as she hurried to catch up to Grim and the Heartslabyul pair. "HEY! Will you three slow down?! I'm not done telling you how stupid you are for agreeing to this!"

Author's Notes:

Finally. Another short f*cking chapter.

Next chapter is the last Alice dream sequence, finally. Then... Well. You know.

Oh, no.

(Shouts-out to the previous Heartslabyul head, who got usurped by a feral Ciel Phantomhive colorswap before the end of the first week of the school year. I saw somebody's design of a Captain Hook and Smee Heartslabyul dorm and vice head that I really liked, and I thought it would be funny if the one who got dethroned was someone like that. Also, it would be fitting, since he got defeated by a feral child. Thematically speaking, that is.)

(Hopefully he's a fourth-year or graduated by now and doesn't have to hang out on campus, both for that reason and also because it's a certain shouty crocodile boy's first year.)