A/N: So, I'm probably going to have to make this at last four chapters because otherwise the chappies would get sooooo long. Ah, well. I'm enjoying writing it.

Heart

Chapter 2: Secret Part I

"I tried to find you."

The two of them had stopped on a footbridge overlooking a creek that ran through the park. Multiple people passed behind them, but neither noticed as they contemplated these most extraordinary events. Eden lay sleeping in her stroller, which Harm had insisted on pushing here.

"You did?" Harm sounded skeptical.

"Of course. I checked with the school, your hotel, countless other law schools…nothing. I asked everyone who may have seen you that day and no one knew anything. It was like you didn't exist. The hotel claimed someone named Jason Burnett was in that room, and I thought this is it. I'll find him now. But no Jason Burnett turned out to be you."

Harm swiped his hand over his face, then looked out across the park. "That was me," he said finally. "I just didn't…I didn't want anybody to know who I was."

Mac's brow wrinkled in confusion. "But why—"

"The year before I was in an accident on a carrier. It was a ramp strike—you know what that means?"

"I'm familiar with the term. Wait, you were a pilot?"

"Yeah, I was." His voice was tinged with regret. "Anyway, my RIO—my radar intercept officer—died. There was a lot of publicity surrounding it. Mace's dad was a senator, very influential…you didn't hear about any of this?"

Mac shook her head. "No, I didn't. I was too busy focusing on law school, I guess. I'm sorry."

Harm waved away her apology. "That's okay. I'm actually glad about that."

"So," Mac began after several seconds had passed. "What happened after the accident? What made you decide to go into law?"

"I was pretty messed up after that. I was in the hospital for over a month. I had some pretty bad burns on my legs, which were also broken, a broken arm, plus a shattered pelvis. Then it was months of rehab to get my body and my head together. As for going into law, my stepfather was a lawyer when he met my mother. We never got along much when I was a teenager, but he was there for me as much as my mom was after the accident. We had so many conversations about his days as a lawyer while I was laid up. He made it sound fascinating and the more I looked into it, the more I knew I could do it and like it."

"Good, but I am so sorry you had to go through that. When did the accident happen?"

"About nine months before we met. I was still recovering a bit."

"Right. You were walking with a limp then, and when we—I felt—I suppose I felt your scars." The thought made Mac want to cry, but she swallowed down the lump in her throat and kept her eyes dry.

"Yeah. Hey, thanks for picking me up that night."

"You're welcome. Thank you for giving me Eden." Mac gasped. She hadn't meant to say it like that.

A look of interminable sadness settled over his handsome face as he nodded. "You're welcome." He took a deep breath. "I would have been there, you know."

"I always thought that, that if we ever found you…"

"Yeah." He pinched the bridge of his nose, then rubbed his hand over his face again. "You'll have to forgive me. I wasn't expecting anything like this today."

Mac chuckled ruefully. "Neither was I."

For the first time since they met today, he smiled a full smile. "I suppose not."

Eden started to stir then, so Mac decided it was time for them to walk on. She put her hands on the stroller handle, just beating Harm who had reached for it as well. His big hands covered hers, and Mac flashed back to their night together. By the look of it, he did too. Their eyes locked and time stood still. It was Mac who finally looked away first, but his hands still rested on hers. "Let me," he whispered, and Mac nodded.

The three of them walked down the path until Eden decided she had had enough of the stroller and insisted she be set free. Mac complied, but rather than be set down, the little girl wanted her mother to hold her.

Mac could feel Harm watching them and when she glanced back at him, his eyes held such a look of longing. She graced him with a small smile, wondering what it would have been like if she had found him all those years ago, what it would have been like for Eden to have her father in her life from the beginning.

Deep down, she knew the answer. It would have been beautiful.

With a sigh, she shifted Eden to her other hip. Her child was growing like a weed, and sometimes she got downright heavy.

Harm held out his arms hesitantly, then drew them back, only to reach them out again. "Um, may I?"

"Please," she murmured and moved Eden forward the slightest bit. Eden took over the rest and reached her little arms toward her father.

The two eyed each other as Harm's eyes grew wet and his lips trembled. He gave a shuddering breath, then smiled at the daughter he never knew he had. "Hi, Eden."

"Hello. What's your name?"

"It's Harm."

"That's a funny name."

"It is, isn't it? Not like your name. Your name is so pretty."

Eden nodded knowingly. "My mommy says it's the prettiest name ever!"

Harm flashed a smile Mac's way before turning back to the child in his arms. "Well, your mommy is right!" He tickled her and the little girl giggled.

"You're nice. I like you," Eden said solemnly.

"I like you too," Harm said with equal seriousness, his expression solemn, which changed to surprise when Eden wrapped her arms around his neck. Harm held her close, his eyes searching out Mac. They had the sheen of tears, and when he mouthed "thank you" to her, her eyes filled as well.

Harm and Mac made the loop around the park and had almost made it back to the site of the picnic. At some point along the way, Eden asked to be set down, then reached out for both their hands. It made it an awkward walk for Harm, as he had to drag the stroller behind him, but he didn't seem to mind. Anyone unfamiliar with them would have thought they were just one of many happy families enjoying the park.

Mac periodically glanced over at Harm while Eden chattered away at him. He smiled often but she could tell was still completely stunned, and she wondered how he would feel when he got over the initial shock. Would he be glad to have a daughter? Would he want to be involved? How much would he want to be involved? Should they tell people about their connection? There was so much to discuss, and Mac was beginning to feel overwhelmed.

"Mac? You okay?"

"What?"

"I asked if you were okay."

Mac bit her lip and shrugged. "I should be asking you that," she answered quietly.

Harm stopped in the middle of the path. "I'm okay, I think."

"Really? I feel…I mean, I'm feeling a bit…"

"Overwhelmed?"

"Yes."

"Me too."

"What do we do now, Harm?" Mac questioned as Eden tried to pull away. Their daughter had just seen the admiral up ahead and they let her go to meet him. AJ Chegwidden was her newest best friend. Mac had had to stop at the office the day before, finding Admiral Chegwidden working though he was about to leave. Eden, however, would have none of that, and somehow, without even saving a word, she'd convinced the gruff JAG to show her around headquarters. Mac just managed to get her daughter out of the admiral's chair before she fell asleep.

Mac noticed Harm looking at his CO as the older man caught Eden up on his arms.

"I suppose it won't go over well when we tell the admiral," Harm replied, his eyes still on Admiral Chegwidden and his daughter.

"Do we have to tell? Just yet, I mean."

"Don't want to admit I'm the daddy?" Harm sounded faintly snappish.

"No, that isn't it at all," she answered defensively. "I would just like to settle in at headquarters before we drop that bomb on them. I've only been there a week."

Harm sighed. "Yeah, I understand." His expression, however, told Mac he didn't, at least not completely.

"And," Mac continued. "I'd like you to get to know your daughter before we invite everyone in on our little secret."

Harm's expression finally softened. "I'd like that too, honestly. One more thing…I have to ask this, Mac."

"Okay," Mac said warily.

"Are you okay with me as her father? As a father who wants to be involved in her life?"

"That's a valid question, I suppose. It's just been the two of us for so long, and I had come to terms with the fact I would most likely never find you. Now, you're here, and I won't lie, it scares me a little."

A look of consternation settled on Harm's face. "It does? How come?"

"What if—what if you don't like her—"

"Mac, I already like her."

"Okay," Mac said, but then looked away when she uttered her next words. "What if you…what if you want to take her away from me?"

"What?!" Harm nearly shouted, causing a few people on the path with them look their way. "Mac, I would never do that!" Mac was relieved he had at least lowered her voice, though she still felt unsure of his answer.

"Truthfully? What if you don't like how I'm raising her?"

"Everything I've seen today tells me you're doing a fantastic job."

"Harm, you've only known Eden less than an hour."

"She's my daughter."

"But—"

"There's one thing, Mac," he interrupted. "You never answered my question. Are you okay with me being involved in her life?"

"I think I am. No, I am. I am okay with that. I just don't know how to go about this."

Harm nodded. "Yeah, I get it. I don't know either. I think we need to get together and really talk about this. Just the two of us. Sound okay?

"Yeah, it does. Do you have a day in mind? I'll want to make sure her nanny is available. She lives with us, but I like to give her evenings and weekends off. I know she won't mind the occasional night. I just don't want her to feel like she has to change her plans."

"She has a nanny? That's good, especially with our jobs."

"Yeah, and Katie's great. You can trust her."

Harm looked amused. "Mac, what did I say? You're doing a fantastic job. No, I haven't known you that long, but I'd like to think I'm a good judge of character. I know you would never entrust our daughter to just anyone." He gave her hand a squeeze, then let go again.

"All right. So, when are you free?"

"Well, I'm free tonight. What time does Eden go to bed?"

"About 1930."

"Good. If Katie is okay with it, how about you come to my place? We can have a late dinner and talk this over."

"I can do that, although…" Mac blushed.

"Although?"

"I, um, find it hard to believe a handsome guy like yourself is free on a Saturday night."

"Well, believe it. My girlfriend, her name's Annie, is visiting her mother down in Florida."

Mac tried to hide her disappointment that he was dating someone, disappointment she knew was silly as she was dating someone herself.

"So, are you seeing anyone?

Mac blushed again. "Yeah, I am. He's another lawyer, but in civilian practice. Dalton Lowne."

"From Lowe, Duffy, and Lowne?"

"That's the one."

"They've been involved in a few of our cases. I don't think I've met Lowne yet, though."

"I'll introduce you to him sometime."

"And I'll introduce you to Annie."

An awkward silence settled over them, until Mac finally asked a question that had started to nag at her.

"What will Annie think about this?"

Harm shrugged. "I don't know, but that doesn't matter. What will Lowne think when he finds out you found her father?"

"It was Mac's turn to shrug. "Hard to say. I don't think he's the jealous type, though."

"Well, I guess that's good. We'd better get back to the picnic before it entirely breaks up, and before I forget to ask, are there any foods you're allergic to or don't like?

"No, anything's fine. Can I have your number?"

"If I can have yours."

"Of course." The two each entered the other's phone number into their cell phones, and then started back to where AJ Chegwidden was entertaining the young Eden.

"Hey, Mac," Harm said when they were almost there. "I'm looking forward to talking about our little secret tonight." He winked at her and smiled.

"Me too." She smiled back.

Neither of them noticed a very curious Lt Loren Singer behind them, who wondered what little secret two people who had just met could possibly have. She vowed to find out.

Hey, Mac. Come on in. Dinner's almost ready. Mac?"

Mac stood at the threshold of Harm's apartment, suddenly nervous. No, she'd actually been nervous all evening, which Eden had sensed. It made the little girl rather obstinate and clingy. She refused to stay in bed, refused to let go of Mac, until Katie took over and essentially pried Eden off of her. She told Mac to go ahead and go, they'd be fine, so Mac had reluctantly picked up her tote filled with photo books documenting Eden's babyhood and left. It broke her heart to hear her daughter calling for her through hiccuping sobs, but Mac walked away anyway.

Now, still upset over Eden's tantrum, she wasn't sure she could do this.

"I don't think I can do this," she mumbled, then turned to go.

"Mac, don't. Don't! It'll be okay." He caught her arm and turned her around. "I promise."

Mac, still hesitant, allowed him to pull her inside.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a little anxious. I left Eden throwing a fit about me leaving."

"I'm sorry. Did you want to call home and see how she's doing?"

Mac thought about it then shook her head. "No. She's probably asleep or almost asleep. If I call now, it'll likely start the whole thing over."

"Oh," Harm said, then took a deep breath. "I have a lot to learn about kids, don't I?"

"I'm sure you'll do fine," Mac replied, the skepticism obvious in her voice, and Harm laughed.

"You sound so encouraging, Mac. Come on, let's eat and we can talk."

Harm had prepared a chicken marsala that tasted divine, along with buttered noodles and sautéed green beans. It was obvious he enjoyed cooking, something Mac only did out of a sense of duty. They made small talk while they ate, then Harm suggested they move to the living area for dessert. Mac agreed with some trepidation, knowing this would be the moment things got deeper. She hesitantly made her way to the sofa, and Harm followed with a tray containing coffee and a strawberry topped sponge cake. He set it down in front of them, but neither of them made a move to eat or drink. Harm took her hand in his.

"It's been quite a day, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, it has." Mac bit her lip and looked down at their enjoined hands.

"And we need to talk about it."

"We do."

"Where do you want to start?"

Mac looked about the room, her eyes settling on the tote containing her photos. "I brought some photobooks from Eden's earlier days. Maybe you'd like to see that first?"

Harm bolted up from the sofa and retrieved the book Mac had brought, looking very eager as he sat back down and started pulling things out of the bag.

For the next hour, they flipped through pages and pages of photos, from Eden's first picture after she was born, to her first birthday, and then more recent photographs. Mac could tell Harm was near tears at some points.

"Mac, she's so beautiful. And she seems so happy."

"She is for the most part. Just the occasional tantrum."

"I can't wait to get to know her."

"I'm glad. I want you to know I never had any intention of keeping her from you."

Harm squeezed her hand. "I know that."

"And I'm not asking you for anything either. My uncle makes sure I have enough to pay for the nanny and he helps with my rent. I could never afford where we live on an O4 salary. So, I don't need, I mean, I don't want you to feel obligated to, well, you know, support her."

"What if I want to? She's my daughter."

Mac stood up and started pacing around the room. "But you just met her today. Today, Harm. She isn't your responsibility. We've been fine. Just fine!"

"She is my responsibility! You didn't make her on your own! Are you saying you don't want me to be her father?!"

"Yes!" Mac shouted then burst into tears. A few seconds later, she felt Harm's arms go around her.

"Mac, don't. Don't cry."

"I-I didn't mean that. I j-just…I wasn't ready for this. I don't…I have no idea how to deal with this. I wanted you to know about her, but now that it's happened…"

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay. I know I threw a wrench in your life. All I want is to know her. I would have been the happiest man on earth if I could have been there from the beginning. I don't want to take her from you, I don't want to disrupt your life, but I get it. Everything's been turned upside down for us. We probably won't figure out everything tonight, but let's just sit. Let's have dessert and talk. Tell me more about when she was a baby. Tell me about the day she was born, okay?"

Harm pulled away and then she felt his hand cup her cheek. He gently swiped his thumb under her eye, brushing her tears away as he had done the night Eden was conceived. "Okay, Mac?"

"Okay, Harm. I'm sorry."

"So am I. I'm being too pushy, aren't I?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "This has just been a very emotional day." She sat back down, and Harm sat down beside her.

"You don't need to tell me that," Harm replied, bumping her with his shoulder. "Now, can I see the book with her first pictures in it?"

"Sure." Mac pulled out a small album with a pink cover and handed it to him. Harm opened it to the first page, where Mac had put pictures of herself in varying stages of pregnancy. When she noticed what he was looking at, she blushed a deep red. He studied the pictures with intensity, and then he raised his eyes to hers with a soft, admiring smile.

"You were beautiful, Sarah." Her heart fluttered at his use of her given name. She normally preferred people call her Mac, but the way he said her name was like a caress.

"I'm sorry I missed this."

"Why?"

"What did I just say? You were beautiful." He ran his finger over the picture taken two days before she went into labor. "You're still beautiful, Mac. Just like you were that night."

Mac shook her head, trying not to look as pleased as she was by his compliment. "You have to say that. I'm the mother of your child."

Harm shook his head as well. "No, I don't. You are beautiful."

"Thank you, Harm."

"You're welcome, Mac. Now, tell me about the day she was born."

And Mac did.

"Wow, I didn't realize it had gotten so late. I'd better get going." Mac stood up and started gathering her photobooks. She slipped them back into her tote bag and slung it over her shoulder. Harm stood as well and rested his hand on her shoulder.

"Wait, Mac. Could I…could you…"

"Could I what, Harm?"

"Well, can I keep the book when she was a newborn for a bit? I'd like to look through it again." He looked so hopeful that Mac couldn't help but smile.

"Sure. Would you like to keep the rest for a while too?"

Harm gave her what she now knew was his flyboy grin. "I would love to. I'll get them back to you next week."

"No hurry. Harm, thank you. Thank you for dinner and thank you for calming me down. I think what we've decided is best for now, but please know I don't intend to hide the fact that you're her father forever."

"I know."

They had decided that for now, they wouldn't tell the admiral or anyone else in the office. They both wanted to tell Eden about her recently discovered father, but they knew she wouldn't be able to keep it quiet. She was too young to know why she should keep such a fact a secret. They would both tell their significant others about this new development, though neither were looking forward to it as it was sure to be an awkward conversation.

"Well, good night, Harm. Thank you again, and if I haven't said it, thank you for Eden. She's the best thing that ever happened to me."

"You have, but you're welcome, and thank you for giving me a daughter. It hurts that I couldn't know her from the beginning, but I can't imagine her having a better mother. Thank you for being…well, for being you."

"You're welcome." Mac felt her eyes moisten, and it embarrassed her that his words made her so emotional. "Um, I'll see you on Monday?"

"Yeah. I'm sure I'll have a huge pile of paperwork on my desk. I enjoy getting out of the office now and again, even if it is for work, but you always pay for it."

"Oh, yes. I know how that is."

"Okay, well, have a good night, Mac."

"You too, Harm. Bye." She started to pull open his door, but Harm pressed his hand against it to stop her.

"Hey, c'mere." He pulled her into for an embrace and she easily slipped into his arms. She felt him kiss her hair as he briefly tightened his hold. "It's all going to be okay, Sarah." She nodded against him, his closeness reminding her of a rainy night in North Carolina. She felt bereft when he let go of her, but then he leaned down and kissed her cheek. He drew back and their eyes locked.

Ever so slowly, he lowered his lips to hers. He kissed her gently, his tongue teasing the seam of her mouth, and she opened for him, letting him taste her. It was over all too soon, and when they pulled away from each other, they gazed at each other in shock. "I'm sorry, Mac," he whispered.

"Don't be," she breathed before she opened the door and slipped out into the night.

End Chapter 2