A/N: This chapter is filler, really. I'm kinda meh about it, but oh well. It's Memorial Day weekend here, where on Monday remember the fallen that have given their lives for our defense. May we never forget them.
Heart
Chapter 5: My Crazy Head
"Good morning."
Dalton wrapped his arms around Mac from behind as she stood contemplating life and the street below her balcony. Cars drove by and she inanely wondered where they were going. To work? To church? To somewhere where life was simple? She sighed as she leaned back against her boyfriend.
"What are you thinking about?"
What am I thinking about? Harm, of course. I'm always thinking about Harm. Obviously, she couldn't tell Dalton that.
"Nothing much."
"Really? I'd say you were brooding."
Mac forced a smile and turned around in his arms. Her hands on his chest, she leaned up to give him a peck on the lips. "Not hardly. I was actually thinking about last night."
"What, dinner?"
"No, after," she lied before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him fully.
"I see." Dalton's smile was wide. They'd spent the night together, and Dalton had been quite attentive. He'd told her he loved her…again…
And she didn't say it back.
She couldn't…
Because she didn't.
Being in Dalton's arms right now was wrong. Kissing him like this was wrong. Pretending everything was all right was wrong.
Mac took a deep breath and was about to move away from him when little Eden walked up to them. She still looked sleepy, having awakened when Mac got home from dinner last night, but at least a phone call to Harm and his beautiful lullaby got her to sleep again. The young girl raised her arms up to Mac, the universal symbol for 'pick me up!' so Mac obliged. "Good morning, Duckling."
"Hi, Mommy. Is Harm here?"
Mac glanced up at Dalton, not missing the slight tightening of his jaw. Apparently, Dalton did have a minor jealous streak, and it seemed it involved Eden. Ever since Harm had come into the picture, Eden had ignored her mother's boyfriend. She knew it didn't sit well with Dalton, but what could any of them do? Harm was Eden's father, and soon enough, everyone would know.
For now, she and Harm were waiting for the paternity test results before they told anyone else. He had convinced her that tangible proof of who had fathered Eden would make it easier for them because no one could cast doubt then.
"No, baby, Harm's not here."
Eden immediately began to pout. "I want him to sing to me."
"Do you want to play a game with me?" Dalton broke in, but as Mac expected, her daughter just glared at him and turned her face into her mother's neck.
"Sorry," Mac said softly, and Dalton waved her apology away. She could tell, however, that he was hurt.
"Hey, sweetie, why don't we all play a game?"
"Harm?" Eden said hopefully.
Already a daddy's girl, Mac sighed to herself. "No, honey, he can't come over today." She knew Harm was with Annie and she had no intention of interrupting them. The thought nearly made her shudder.
She and Dalton had had dinner with Harm and Annie the night before. It was a chance for Mac to finally meet the girlfriend of her child's father, and Mac thought it had gone reasonably well. Annie seemed nice enough, if a bit quiet, and Dalton and Harm seemed to get along. The two chatted about their respective law careers while Mac tried to engage Annie in talk of her career. When that didn't work, Mac asked her about her son Josh and the woman became more animated.
Josh had just finished the third grade and loved hockey and baseball. Mac got the impression that Annie's late husband was the one who instilled the love of those sports in their son. He liked math and gym class the best, and he wanted to be a pilot just like his father. This fact she'd learned from Harm, and as he said it, Annie's expression darkened. Mac quickly changed the subject, asking what Josh was going to be doing this summer, and Mac left the dinner knowing far about Josh than she did Annie.
"Mommy? Mommy!" Mac was pulled from her musing by an insistent Eden.
"Sorry, baby."
"I'm hungry!"
"Well, let's get you some breakfast."
"And where's Katie?"
"She left early this morning to spend the night with her mom and dad, remember, Duckling?"
"Yeah. I miss her. And I miss Harm too!"
We're back to Harm, again. Mac looked up to see how Dalton had reacted to the mention of Harm once again, but to her surprise, he had left the room.
Oh, dear. And so the rivalry begins…
"I don't want cereal, Mommy!" Eden crossed her arms over her little body and glared at her mom. "Want waffles!"
Mac sighed in frustration. "Honey, that'll take too much time. Besides, I don't think I have enough eggs."
"You do, Mommy! Me and Katie bought some!"
Shit.
"Fine, I supp—"
Mac was interrupted by a knock at her door. Thank goodness. Maybe Eden would forget about the waffles by the time Mac returned to the kitchen. She set some orange juice in front of her daughter and ran her hand over her daughter's silky hair. Her hand stopped at the ear that was so much like her father's, and caressed it with her finger.
"That tickles, Mommy," Eden giggled just as the person outside her apartment knocked again. "Eden, sweetheart, stay here. I have to answer the door."
Eden nodded and Mac left the room, noting the sound of the shower turning on. Dalton was going to come out smelling like peaches or jasmine depending on whose shampoo he used. He kept a toothbrush here, but that was all.
Mac quickly made her way to her door, surprised to see Harm through her peephole. She pulled open the door to reveal her partner standing there with his hands in his pockets. He looked a bit hesitant when she motioned him inside, and when she shut the door again, she turned around to see Harm still looking uncomfortable.
"What is it, Harm?"
Harm looked down for a moment, then slowly raised her eyes to hers. "It's about the DNA test."
"What about it?" Mac's heartbeat increased the tiniest bit.
"They lost it. They lost the samples."
Mac was instantly relieved. Frustrated, but relieved. "Is that all? I thought—"
"What. What did you think?"
"That the test said you…that the test said you weren't the father."
Harm's eyes widened and Mac instantly regretted what she had just said, given that there was absolutely no chance Harm was not Eden's father.
"Are you saying—"
"No, no, Harm. I thought maybe they'd made a mistake."
Harm didn't seem convinced.
"Honestly, Harm. I hadn't been with anyone for over a year before you, and there wasn't anyone else until Dalton." Mac blushed as she admitted those details.
Harm appeared to be thinking things over, then nodded. "Okay, Mac. Besides," he said with a smile. "No one else could have given her that ear."
Mac smiled back in relief, but that didn't solve the problem of the lost sample. "So, now we have to give them another sample, I suppose. This had better be free." DNA tests were not cheap.
"Oh, that's already been discussed."
"Good. Uh, Harm?"
"Yeah?"
"How do you think last night went?" Mac asked as the shower stopped.
"Good, I think. It was interesting, talking to Dalton. He's been involved in some pretty big cases."
"Yeah, he has. You know, he's been trying to convince me to join his firm."
Something flitted across Harm's face, and Mac felt the need to immediately reassure him that she wasn't going anywhere.
"But I keep telling him no. I can't see leaving the marines, no matter how much they'll pay me."
"Big salary?"
"Ohhhh, yeah, but I suspect I'd spend the first few years writing briefs and wills or some crap."
Harm chuckled. "You know, the admiral makes me do that once in a while, when I've pissed him off."
"You piss off the admiral? Never." Mac tried to keep a straight face but failed miserably, for Harm did have a habit of pushing Admiral Chegwidden's buttons.
"Hey!" Harm said, as he bumped her shoulder with the back of his hand. "He loves me!"
"Except when you piss him off, which you do of—"
Mac was interrupted by a cry from her daughter, followed by the appearance of a shirtless Dalton, his hair still damp from the shower.
"Harm!"
"Harm, what brings you here?"
Harm ignored Dalton as he picked up his daughter. "Hi, Duckling!"
"Mommy said you couldn't come!"
"Well, it was a surprise!"
"For me?"
"Of course!"
Eden started chattering to her father, and Mac heard the words "cereal" and "waffles." Harm was giving the little girl an ear-splitting grin, and Mac couldn't help smiling as well. She knew Dalton's eyes were on her, but she didn't want to glance back at him and see any sort of anger or jealousy in his gaze.
"Well, I don't know how to make waffles, Eden-girl. I do make pretty good pancakes, though," Harm said to his daughter, and the child clapped her hands together in delight.
"Yes! Make pancakes! Can Harm make pancakes?"
Harm looked a little stunned then mouthed a sheepish "I'm sorry" to her. Mac shrugged. She knew if she told Eden no the little girl would be heartbroken.
"Yes, Harm can make you pancakes, but you'd better ask him yourself."
"Will you make me pancakes?"
"Of course, sweetie. I'll make some for your mommy and Dalton too, but I'm going to need your help."
Eden was obviously eager and willing to join her father in making breakfast, so the two made their way to the kitchen, leaving Dalton and Mac alone.
Mac watched them until they disappeared, then turned to her silent boyfriend.
"What's he doing here?"
"Who, Harm?"
Dalton rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Harm. I would have thought he'd be with Annie and what's her kid's name? Jake?"
"Josh, and Harm came over to tell me there was a problem with the DNA result—"
"He's not the father?" Dalton looked almost hopeful.
"Yes, he is, but they lost the sample. Dalton," she said, lowering her voice. "He was the last person I was with before you, and I've already told you there wasn't anyone before him that could be her father."
Dalton looked doubtful for a moment, and Mac wasn't sure how she should respond. She was irritated that two men had now questioned her, one of them without any sort of vested interest. "Dalton? Do you think I'm lying?"
"Of course not, Sarah. Of course not, although, I do find it rather amazing that a woman as beautiful as you didn't meet someone between him and me."
"Well, I was pregnant for part of the time, then I was busy with the baby, and then I didn't meet anyone I felt comfortable enough with to be around Eden until you."
Dalton pulled her into his arms. "I know. I know, and I'm grateful for that. I love Eden. She's just like you."
Except for the parts she got from Harm. Mac was amazed how many things she now understood about her daughter. Despite not having been around him for her first three-and-a-half years, their child still displayed many of Harm's mannerisms.
Mac moved away from the embrace first. "Thanks. How 'bout we see what Eden and Harm have cooked up for us?"
"Lead the way, Sarah."
"Dalton?"
"Yeah?"
"Put a shirt on first."
Breakfast was a lively affair, or at least it was for Harm and Eden. Their little girl demanded he sing for her as he cooked the pancakes, and then she giggled at the funny shapes he made for her. One was a dinosaur, another was a snowman. Mac had never seen Eden eat breakfast food with such gusto, and that included the waffles she loved.
"Your pancakes are yummy!" Eden said as she slid off her chair and raised her arms up to be pulled onto Harm's lap.
"Thank you, Duckling." Harm kissed her cheek and the little girl settled against her father. Mac couldn't help smiling at the picture they made, but when she saw Dalton's expression, her smile faltered.
"What's wrong, Mac?" Harm asked, always quick to note any changes in her mood.
"Nothing…I…I was just thinking about the…the test," she lied.
"Oh, it'll be okay, Mac."
"I know," she replied, risking another glance at Dalton. "It's just a little disheartening. I'd hoped…"
"That you'd be able to tell everyone Harm is Eden's father?"
All noise in the room suddenly stopped at Dalton's words. Harm's head snapped up as Mac gasped, her eyes wide as she stared at her boyfriend. "Dalton—"
"Oh, god, I'm sorry." To be fair, Dalton did appear to be sorry, but Mac was livid. This was not how she wanted to approach it with her daughter.
"It's okay, Mac." He looked down at Eden, who appeared to be dozing off and not in the least interested in what her mother's boyfriend had just said.
"I am sorry, you two, but why don't you tell her?"
"Because we—" Harm began, but Mac interrupted him.
"We want to tell at least the admiral before we tell her. I don't want her to spill the beans before that. It would put us in an awkward position."
"That's right," Harm agreed.
"So, tell the admiral, then. Why do you need to wait for the DNA?
"Because—this really isn't any of your business," Mac snapped.
Dalton threw down his napkin and stood up. "I should leave."
"Dalton, wait—"
"Hey, I need to be going, anyway. I'll leave you two alone, you can ta—" Harm started to shift his daughter in his lap, his expression reflecting his discomfort with Dalton and Mac's lovers' spat.
"You don't need to leave, Harm." She and he both stood up and Harm handed the now sleeping Eden over to her mother. Though her thoughts were mainly on the situation with her boyfriend, the thought went through her head that Eden always seemed to relax with Harm around. Each time he visited, he could always get her to sleep faster than anyone.
"No, I should, Mac. I think you two do need to talk," he replied softly. "I'm sorry I interrupted your morning."
"That's okay. Eden wanted to see you, and I was starting to think it was going to be a long day. She wasn't giving it up."
Harm's expression warmed. "You know, you can always call. I don't mind. I'd be over in a heartbeat."
"Well, I figured Annie wouldn't want her morning with you interrupted."
"Shit, Annie. Yeah, I definitely should get home. I'm supposed to pick up brunch on the way home, I mean, Annie's home. She and Josh are probably starving. I'll see you, Mac." He leaned down and kissed her cheek as he always did when he left her, but a sound from the entrance to the kitchen caused them to jump apart, which jostled Eden awake.
"Harm?" She reached her tiny arms to him, and Harm caught her up against his chest as Mac turned to Dalton. His eyes held a look of part anger, part sadness, and with a small nod, he walked away.
"Dalton—" Mac caught up to him as he opened the door but he ignored her, all but slamming the door behind him.
Shit.
Harm stayed for another half-hour, thought Mac got the impression he would have stayed longer had Annie not called him. It appeared he'd be bringing home lunch instead of brunch. Eden was upset but was somewhat appeased by a bowl of her favorite ice cream and The Little Mermaid movie in the VCR, thus Harm was able to slip away. As soon as she locked the door again, she went back to the couch and tiredly sat down next to her daughter. She tried Dalton on his home phone, his cell phone, and even his work phone, but of course he didn't answer. She supposed she should let him cool off, though she didn't quite understand his ire.
She hadn't done anything wrong with Harm, and she hadn't been wrong in being upset with Dalton's slip, and she was sure it was just a slip, but why had he left in such a huff?
You know why.
He knows.
Knows what?
That you're in love with Harm.
No.
Yes.
Oh, god. She was. Clarity hit her like a freight train as she examined her feelings. Harm was certainly warm, kind, smart, and sexy. He loved Eden, and Eden loved him, but Mac loved Harm too, and it wasn't just because he was Eden's father. "I must be crazy," she mumbled. "I love Harm."
"Mommy?"
Shit.
End Chapter 5