A/N: There's probably mistakes in here, although I did tweak a few things, and this is the corrected version. My children have been needy, so it's been hard to focus. On the upside, here's an update AND I just got a new job.

Heart

Chapter 7: I Didn't Want to Need You

"I'm sorry, Mac."

Mac came around her desk and rested her hand on Harm's arm. "Harm, we're in the military. Of course, life is going to be interrupted from time to time."

"But it's your birthday, and Eden and I had a surprise planned."

Mac smiled. Eden wasn't the greatest at keeping secrets, so she was already well aware of the nature of the surprise.

"Well, I'm sure we can do it when you get back." Her smile widened when she thought about the "special" dinner the two had planned.

Harm narrowed his eyes at her then grinned. "You know, don't you."

Mac gave a light chuckle. "Three-and-a-half-year-olds aren't great at keeping secrets it turns out."

"Yeah, I should have thought about that, but then again, it was her idea."

"At least she didn't tell me what kind of chocolate cake with chocolate frosting you were making," Mac teased.

"Oh, Eden," Harm chuckled. "I suppose you know about the dinosaur decorations too."

Mac's expression turned serious. "Actually, no, I didn't." Harm's eyes widened and he look so chagrined that Mac couldn't maintain her straight face. She started to giggle and Harm lightly smacked her shoulder.

"You knew then?"

"Yeah, I knew."

Harm joined her in laughter. "Well, happy birthday anyway, and when I'm back our duckling and I will prepare a feast of frozen dinners and frozen vegetables the likes of which you've never seen, to be followed by a chocolate cake with the best chocolate frosting ever. Topped with a T-Rex to boot."

"I'll look forward to it. Now, you'd better get out of here before the admiral finds you lallygagging about."

"Yeah."

Mac expected him to say his goodbyes and head off to Norfolk then, but instead, he stood there awkwardly, rocking on his heels, and looking everywhere but at her.

"Harm? What is it?".

"Oh," he said, looking slightly startled. "Oh, nothing. It's just—"

Right at that moment, Mac's office phone rang. She would have ignored it, but something compelled her to return to her desk and answer it. Murmuring and apology to Harm, she picked up the handset.

It took only a minute for the caller to identify herself and tell her the reason for the call, but it in that minute, Mac's world shattered.

"Mac. Mac!" Harm barely caught Mac as she staggered, though she did manage to tell the person on the line she'd be right there before the handset fell out of her hand. He slowly lowered her into her chair, then knelt down beside her.

"Mac, tell me who called. What's going on?" His heart was now beating erratically, knowing Mac wouldn't react this way about just anything, or anyone. "Mac, please!"

"It—it's Eden. There…there…was an…an accident," she choked out, and Harm felt the world slipping out from under him.

"Is she—is she…"

"She's hurt. I need to—" Mac stood abruptly. "I need to tell the admiral. I need to get to her." She tried to push past him, but Harm quickly stood as well and blocked her.

"Mac, tell me. How bad is she hurt?"

"I don't know, Harm. I don't know! I have to get to her!"

"Okay, okay…let's go to Chegwidden." Harm was doing his best to remain calm for Mac's sake, but inside he was sick with fear. If he lost Eden…if he lost her so soon after discovering her, most of him would be lost too. "Come on, Mac." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and ushered her from her office.

"Tiner, we need to see the admiral right away," Harm demanded as he strode into Admiral Chegwidden's anteroom, Mac in tow. The young yeoman, obviously seeing the two superior officers' distress, immediately picked up the phone. After a moment, he put it down and motioned toward the admiral's office.

"You can go right in."

Before the words were entirely out of Tiner's mouth, Harm was pulling open the door, guiding Mac ahead of him. The admiral looked up at them over his reading glasses, then stood and motioned them to the chairs in from of his desk.

"What hap—" Admiral Chegwidden started to ask as Harm eased Mac into one of the chairs.

"Sir?" Harm asked, interrupting his CO. "Do you have any water for the major here?"

"Harm, I'm fine."

Harm sighed in exasperation. Mac was anything but fine and neither was he. Both their hands shook, though Harm managed to hide his as he accepted a bottle of water from the admiral.

"Drink, Mac," he said quietly before sitting down himself and facing his CO. "Sir, there's been an accident. Eden—"

"Eden and my nanny, Katie, were in a car accident a little while ago. Eden…Eden…" Mac broke in.

"Eden was hurt, sir." He realized he hadn't thought about Katie being in the accident too. Please let her be all right.

"Permission to…to…"

"Granted," the admiral replied quickly. "Tiner will drive you."

"Sir, I'd like to—"

"I know you would, Commander, but you are already late getting out of here to go to Norfolk as ordered."

"But sir—"

Admiral Chegwidden stared Harm down, and Harm knew he had no choice but to comply.

"It's okay, Harm. I'll call you as soon as I know more."

"Mac, I—" Harm started to protest again, but then his shoulders slumped. He wished he could just turn around and tell his CO Eden was his daughter too, but he couldn't do that without discussing it with Mac first. "Okay. Sir," he said, turning toward the admiral. Permission to see the major off before I leave?"

Something in Harm's gaze must have reached Admiral Chegwidden, for the man's face softened and he nodded. "Granted. And major, I will want a report about Miss Eden as soon as you are able."

"Yes, sir."

"Dismissed."

"Mac, I mean it. Call me as soon as you see her. And let me know what you find out about Katie."

"I will, Harm."

Harm leaned forward. "I wish I could give you a hug." Harm spoke softly, mindful of Petty Officer Tiner standing by.

"I wish you could too." Her eyes were wet with unshed tears.

"Excuse me, sir, ma'am," Tiner interrupted. "I need to—I'll be over there."

Both Harm and Mac's eyes widened when they realized what Tiner was doing. The embraced quickly, and moments later, Mac was driven away.

Mac rushed into the ER after Tiner dropped her at the entrance. She hadn't been to the ER at Georgetown before and the sheer number of people milling about was overwhelming, and when Mac saw the line at main desk, she wanted to scream. She made herself wait seemingly patiently, however, and after what seemed like an eternity, it was finally her turn to speak to the bored clerk behind the window.

"Eden. Eden MacKenzie. I'm her mother."

"Identification, please." The worker was like a robot, her voice monotone, her eyes remaining firmly glued to her computer screen. Mac held her ID in front of her, and after a brief glance, the employee began typing…and typing. Just before Mac was ready to smash the safety window and leap across the desk, the woman finally told her where her daughter was. She was escorted back to the ER bays by another employee, though Mac would have known where Eden was without any direction. She could hear her daughter's sobs, and the sound of her baby crying for her mother nearly destroyed her.

"Eden, honey, I'm here, baby." Her daughter looked so tiny and pale on the ER gurney as Mac stroked her hair. She wanted to climb into the bed with her and hold her, but she had no idea what her injuries were.

"Mommy," her daughter sobbed. "Katie wouldn't talk to me!"

"I know, sweetheart," Mac answered, though she knew no such thing. She was terrified Katie had been terribly injured or even killed. "I know."

Hours later, Eden was finally settled in a room. She had fractures in both her arm and her leg, but thankfully she had no internal injuries. The tiny girl had been given something for pain and had finally fallen into a restless slumber, but only after Harm had sung to her over the phone.

Mac had called Harm earlier from the ER to update him on Eden's condition, and she could hear the tears in his voice over the phone. She had reassured him that Eden was all right, that she would recover fully, that she probably wouldn't remember much, but she knew at least that part was a lie. Eden would remember everything, just like Mac remembered every second of the car accident that cost her father his career. She could remember the pain of her broken leg, and seeing Eden suffer in the same manner was destroying her. By the end of her call to Harm, he was giving the reassurances. No doubt he recalled the night they had met, when a near miss had caused a panic attack which led to an invitation to his hotel room. What followed was one of the most amazing and beautiful nights of her life, a night that had given her her greatest gift.

Once Mac had ended her call to Harm, she'd called her CO, who told her she was officially on family leave until Eden recovered. She'd called her uncle next, knowing he was out of the country, and when he offered to fly back ASAP, she had insisted he stay in Ireland with his fiancée. Admiral Chegwidden was going to come by in the morning, but Harm would likely not be back in town for at least a few days.

Mac had almost told her CO about Eden and Harm, but divulging her daughter's parentage wasn't likely to get Harm back any sooner. No, best to wait until the DNA results were back, though she was starting to wonder why that was so important.

With no more calls to make, Mac sat down to brood at her daughter's bedside, her thoughts focusing on the little girl's father.

She wanted Harm with her, more than she wanted her uncle, more than she wanted anyone. She'd handled motherhood largely on her own, but now that she didn't have to, it felt so wrong not to have him here. She'd finally adjusted to having Eden's father in their lives, and no one had the ability to quiet her fears and insecurities as much as he did. If Harm were here now, he would be holding her. They would be sharing in this trauma. They would both be here for Eden.

Yes, she needed Harm. She depended on him and would need to depend on him even more now that she would be without her nanny. Katie had survived the accident, but her injuries were far more serious than Eden's. She would recover, but not before enduring weeks of rehab and healing.

With a sigh, she swiped the last of her tears away. There was no sense in dwelling on things she didn't have in this moment. The most important thing now and forever was lying in the hospital bed before her. The bed dwarfed the tiny Eden as she started to moan again, but with her mother's touch, she settled down for the long night ahead.

"H-Harm?" Mac's voice plaintive as she spoke into the phone. It was nine o'clock at night, and Mac could have cried in relief when Harm picked up. As it was, she was already crying, having witnessed Eden's pain and fear.

The little girl took her pain medication without complaint, but she was still unable to get comfortable. Mac would adjust her pillows, cover her with her duckling blanket, and Eden would finally sleep, only to awaken soon after from nightmares about the crash. She still sobbed about Katie not answering her after the accident even though Mac had assured her over and over that Katie would be okay. Eden had demanded to see her beloved nanny multiple times, but with her injuries and her young age, she absolutely could not visit the young woman.

Now Mac was exhausted. She'd barely slept since arriving at the hospital, waking anytime Eden so much as sighed, and it broke her heart into pieces that she couldn't take the pain away from her daughter. She had finally given in and called Harm.

"What is it, Mac?"

"It's Eden…"

"I'll be right there."

"Harm, no. No. She's okay. I just…I just needed to hear your voice. I mean, Eden is…she just hurts all the time. She keeps having nightmares about the accident, so she never relaxes. I try to keep her comfortable and I keep failing. Harm, I…I…" she couldn't go on. She couldn't admit to Harm why she called. It wasn't fair to him.

"Mac, what is it?"

"I…I need you." So much for not telling him.

"I'll be right there."

"No, you can't."

"I'm leaving now." Mac could hear the shake of his keys in the background.

"Harm—"

"Maaac! Come on."

"Okay," she sniffled.

"See you soon," he said, just before he'd hung up the phone.

It took him three hours to get to her apartment, which felt like an eternity to Mac. Eden was just about due for her next dose of medicine, and the poor thing had just awoken sobbing and calling for Harm.

He had arrived just in time.

"Hey, Duckling," he whispered, kneeling beside her little bed. Eden's hiccuping sobs paused as she held her good arm out to her father, and Mac silently cried in relief as their daughter babbled to Harm. She caught the words "Katie" and "scared" while her partner stroked his daughter's hair and gently rubbed her tummy, crooning soft words of comfort. Mac smiled through her tears as she left to fetch some ibuprofen for their precious girl.

"She's asleep, and she seems to be comfortable for now," Harm said as he closed Eden's door behind him. Mac had just exited her bedroom after taking a much-needed shower, and she sighed in relief.

"Thank goodness." She looked down at the floor for a moment, then raised her slightly bloodshot and eyes to his. "Harm, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have called—"

"Mac, stop. I'm glad you called. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone."

"But that's just it! I should be able to deal with something like this on my own. I've done it for almost four years!" She burst into tears for about the hundredth time since the accident, and almost immediately she was drawn into Harm's embrace.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here. You don't have to do it on your own anymore. I'm here," he whispered in her ear, then kissed her hair. She sobbed into his chest, holding onto him tightly, letting out all the terror and worry since the phone call telling her of the accident. When she finally calmed, exhaustion took over.

"Come on, Mac. Let's get you to bed." He began to lead her back to her bedroom, even as she started to protest.

"Honey, you're exhausted. I've got this. I'll stay with Eden."

"But—"

"No buts. Bed. Now."

"Okay," Mac agreed meekly, her bed now beckoning her. Harm moved ahead of her and pulled down the covers, motioning for her to climb in. Mac acquiesced to his silent command. He drew the blankets up around her shoulders, then leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Harm?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Goodnight, hon."

"Goodnight."

Harm turned and made his way to the door. He had just stepped out into the hall when she called out to him again.

"Yes?"

"I-I…um, nothing. Goodnight."

"Are you—"

"Nothing, Harm. Just—thank you again."

"You're welcome again," he answered, then pulled the door shut behind him.

In dark of her room, Mac willed her heart to stop its pounding. She couldn't believe what she had almost done, what she'd almost said.

She'd almost told Harm she loved him.

End Chapter 7