Notes: These are getting posted later and later, huh? Sorry about that. I'll try to post the next one at a sensible time in the morning. As for this chapter... this was an unexpected one. This was supposed to be about 1k words tacked onto the end of the previous chapter, but it ballooned into 5k words of it's own, and in my opinion it's some of the best 5k words in the whole story. Opening and ending paragraphs were a little ropey but the middle part was great, I think. I'm curious to hear if you agree. But if you just noticed the "Expected final length" number go up when I posted the last chapter, that'll be why. As always, enjoy, and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!
The web of social interactions painted the situation like a picture being drawn before me in real-time. Little glances and counterglances, people standing closer together or further apart. Riddler had centre stage and was talking loudly, and everybody had a unique reaction written across their face. Even those who hid behind masks told me a lot about what they were thinking with their body language alone.
"And that is why Scarecrow's new… techniques shouldn't worry us in the slightest. Magic is just one more weapon to use like any other, one more puzzle to figure out. It's no different from the first arrival of alien technology on our fair shores. There's no reason to be afraid unless you're too microcephalic to figure out how to use it for yourselves."
Riddler's nasally little voice grated on me, and it seemed to do the same for everybody else, even the ones nominally on his side. I could hear Black Mask hiss at the implied insult even if I couldn't see his expression under the mask, and Penguin tapped a finger on his umbrella at every word. Riddler didn't seem to mind, though. He was enjoying hearing himself talk too much to care.
Nobody stopped or turned to face me as I slipped into the room, letting me slide comfortably in between Penguin and Ivy, joining and backing up my little contingent of allies.
"I miss anything good?" I looked up at Ivy, giving her a nod of greeting. She let out a quiet, one-note chuckle in response.
"Not much. But we're losing, here. Harley doesn't hold territory, she just helps with mine, so we're outnumbered three to four in terms of opinions which actually matter. If any of us devote resources to Scarecrow we'll get backstabbed by the others unless we get a majority to co-operate with us. And we'll be doubly screwed if we go forward without the backing of the League."
"The League?" I quirked a brow. Great, there was a League now. Why did that name ring a bell?
Ivy gestured vaguely towards Lady Shiva by way of response, not even seeming to want to speak her name.
There really were two clearly divided factions present. Harley, Ivy, Penguin and Freeze were clustered together on one side of the room whilst Riddler, Black Mask and Lady Shiva stood on the other. Two-face was standing closer to the other side at this point, clearly gravitating towards the 'against' side of the argument, towards going easy on Scarecrow, but he was still somewhere in the middle overall.
But saying there we were standing on opposite sides wouldn't be quite right. Harley, Ivy, Penguin, Freeze and I were standing on one side of the room, sure, but the others weren't really standing opposite us.
They were standing around Lady Shiva, instead.
It was a subtle difference but easy to spot if you were paying attention. Our side was spread out in a line. Freeze and Harls were on opposite ends of our side of the room, they couldn't talk easily without one walking over to the other, but nobody on their side was out of talking or even touching distance of Shiva. Black Mask and Two-face stood behind her, showing deference, and Riddler had been doing the same before he'd been granted the floor and started showboating in the centre insulting everybody.
Lady Shiva was like a lodestone. She had her own gravity, she positively radiated calm and confidence. It was hard to take my eyes off her, and I wasn't sure she'd even spoken a word out loud since I'd come in.
It wasn't just her looks which drew attention, either, though she stood out in that cheongsam dress. It was the confidence. Her face was placid as a lake, nothing around her making so much as a ripple in the water. She was part of some kind of League? It made me wonder just who she was. Her and Black Mask were the only two villains present who I didn't recognise, after all.
Whilst I was busy thinking, Riddler was still yammering on. "In the middle ages, the art of alchemy was considered the greatest of the sciences, and though we've forgotten the art, there's mounting evidence that it works. Surely we're smarter than a bunch of mediaeval savages? Or at least, most of us are." A pointed glare at Penguin. Hooh boy, that rivalry was going to be a problem, wasn't it? "Honestly, I don't see what you're all so scared of here. This isn't anything to warrant us to join forces. I mean, riddle me this, my feathered friend, which are you first. A chicken, or a penguin?"
"Oh that's a low blow coming from somebody in bloody polka-dot pajamas!" Penguin looked like he was about to launch forward at that, but fortunately there were calmer voices on both sides to restrain the two of them. Mister Freeze planted a thickly gloved hand on Penguin's shoulder, pulling him back, whilst Black Mask grabbed Riddler.
"It is not worth it, old friend. Though believe me, I understand the temptation. Stand back."
"Sit down, Riddler. I think you've said enough, and you stopped helping about five fucking minutes ago."
Freeze… was interesting to listen to. His voice was faintly accented, eastern european maybe? He was on our side, though I wasn't clear on why. His grip on Penguin was gentle, but it was just about the only time I'd seen him have anything but violence in his gaze.
"Oi ain't gonna just stand there and take that in me own home. This two-bit freak thinks he's better than me? Let's see if he's better'n a bullet to the skull!"
"You do not have to take his insults, but use of violence will not save anybody from Scarecrow's predations. It also will not prove you're better, it will only prove you're easy to provoke. Sit down." Freeze's measured words seemed to get through to Penguin, and he backed off. Though he almost flew right back off the handle when he heard Riddler's reply to Freeze's words.
"And you call yourself a villain. Saving people from Scarecrow? That's what you're here for? You may as well join the Bat's crusade if that's what-"
"Riddler! You too. We're here for a reason, and I'd like to get back on fucking topic. I have a business to run, and I don't need you starting a war any more than I need these idiots to." Black mask stared balefully at him, and Riddler backed off too, pouting like a spoiled child who'd just been reprimanded. Which I supposed, was exactly what he was.
"Alright, with that settled…" Two-face stood, having stayed silent until now, until that part of the debate was done. "Does anybody else wish to take the floor? I'm sure Miss Ivy and Miss Quinn should have a great deal to say on the matter, having dealt with Scarecrow the most since his… breakthrough into the realm of magic."
Ivy seemed to like the idea, and bowed her head, stepping out to take the stage with her girlfriend in tow, but Harley called back to him.
"Why dontcha say yer own piece, Two-pac?"
Two-Face's brow twitched a little, flicking a coin between his fingers as he said "I don't have a piece to say, not until I've heard all the evidence and let the coin decide."
So that was our field, then. I was starting to get a sense for the politics at play. Freeze had an actual heart and wanted Scarecrow put down, Penguin felt Scarecrow threatened his position as top-dog because he felt almost everybody threatened his position as top dog, I knew full well why Ivy wanted Scarecrow gone… whilst Riddler thought he was too smart to worry about anybody else, Black Mask wanted to avoid the instability a war would bring, and Two-face was, per his reputation, pathologically terrified of making a decision either way.
As for Lady Shiva…
Still a mystery. She hadn't said a word, she'd just watched. Waiting for something. Drawing her out felt like it would be revealing, but how to do it?
I paused a moment to think as Ivy stepped into the middle of the room, but right as she opened her mouth to speak, I interrupted.
"Actually, lads, if I could say a few words?"
All eyes turned to me. It was enough to make a guy feel real self-conscious, really. The ones who knew me looked worried, probably because they knew what I was like, and the ones who didn't had questioning looks. Only one of them actually spoke up, though.
"Riddle me this… who the hell are you?"
I had to suppress a laugh at that. It had to be a bit, right? He found talking like that funny, it was part of the costume, right? A catchphrase or something?
"John Constantine, at your service. Better known as the Laughing Magician. Ol' Penguin here brought me in as a little magical assistance. And one thing I notice here is… you guys ain't really talking about Scarecrow so much, are you? For a meeting that's supposed to be about him, you've sure been spending a lot of time talking about whether or not you're scared of magic."
Ah, that got a reaction out of her. I heard objections from the peanut gallery, confusion. A nod of agreement and approval from Riddler that filled me with shame. But my eyes were on Lady Shiva. When I'd spoken my name as Laughing Magician she'd tilted her head, peering at me, giving more of a reaction to that than she had to anything else around her so far.
I hate that name, but if there's one thing it's good for, it's gauging reactions. To most people it's just another funny stage-name, something I probably call myself because I'm a pretentious bugger who thinks it makes me sound cool, but for the handful of people who know what it means…
She's a magic user herself, isn't she?
Or at least one who swims in that world.
"Now now, simmer down." I say, gesturing for the volume to lower, and every villain present goes quiet. "It's been clear from the get-go. It's why Penguin's been buying black-market warding artefacts, why some of you have been having back-room chats with Swamp Thing. Nothing's changed with Scarecrow. This ain't the first time he tried to poison all've Gotham. Not even the first time he'd've succeeded, if he had. You all know how to deal with that. But it is the first time he's used magic to help him, ain't it?"
My eyes fixed on Lady Shiva next, as I said "And It's the first time you've had a magic user attending your little council sessions too, I'll bet. Nevermind two."
She lifted her chin a fraction, projecting dignity. I could see Riddler and Harley wince as I addressed her directly. Black Mask and Freeze cringed a little, too.
"...The League of Assassins does not typically send a delegate to these sessions because it does not deign to." She finally said, her voice cold as ice.
"She speaks! And here I was starting to think you were with the Guild of Mute Assassins." I only got blank looks from that little joke. Phillistines don't appreciate good music. "So what made you deign to send a delegate tonight? Much less one as esteemed as yourself." I had no clue who she was, in fact, but it never hurt to flatter a little after insulting somebody, puts them off balance.
"Because you are right, conjurer. This is the first time magic has been used by a Gotham supervillain of the level of the Scarecrow. Our presence was… requested, by Black Mask. To provide advice on dealing with it, for a significant price. Advice that does not require the Scarecrow's death, or a full-blown war between villains."
"You were giving advice? So far you've just sat there glowering." I chuckled, and in response she just sat there. Glowering.
"Ah, I get it. Practicing that ancient zen wisdom, yeah? The old saying about silence."
She arched a brow, back stiffening a little. Yeah, she knew what was coming.
"You don't actually have a clue what Scarecrow's doing, do you? You're a dang eastern assassin, he's summoning Christian demons! Not your field, mate. But I can respect your tactics, it's right in line with your teachings. What's the line? Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt?"
I saw the blood drain from Riddler's face. Frankly I saw the blood drain from just about everybody's face except mine and hers. I let out a laugh, loud and wild, a little over-acted, but I truly did find it funny. She was putting on this wise, mysterious yellow peril act with the dress and the stoicism and none of them knew enough about magic to damn well call her on it.
"And you would claim to more more? You look like a cheap conjurer, can you name the demon he has summoned? I'm told you saw it with your eyes, can you even name it's category?"
"Can you?" I replied, calm and collected. I was willing to bet she couldn't. Bet any money. I didn't doubt she was a proper magic user, but she was so far from her element that-
"Triskele, wyrm queen of the of the circle of Lust, and currently bearing the face of the Archangel Dariel, who she slew in single combat. Servant of the First of the Fallen but beholden to no other, and known as a patron of both scientists as well as traders and entrepreneurs, not just flesh-mongers. Need I go on?"
"Uh-" That took me a moment to respond to. I let out an awkward cough. Everybody else seemed just about ready to run right out of the room. "I take it that means you've seen her in action, then? How do you know all that?"
"We have our information sources, as I have no doubt you have yours." She simply said, before adding "Now, if you're finished insulting me to my face, perhaps it is time you left the adults in the room to talk."
Ivy facepalmed in the background, looking away, not even meeting my eyes. Yeah, I was starting to get the impression that maybe it was my time to go.
"...Fair enough. You seem to have this covered, eh mate? I'll stop yammering then." Before, y'know, somebody here kills me to keep me from further pissing off the scary dragon lady who'd just given me a verbal curbstomping. Even my own allies looked about ready to gut me for this stupid stunt. I started walking towards the door, but I stopped as I passed Penguin, saying "Hey, their advisor on all things magic gets a 'considerable fee'. Do I get one if I actually figure out how to convince everybody to-"
"Mate, your fee is not getting drowned in the Gotham river. You embarrass me any further and oi'll fillet you meself. Gerrout."
Well, how's that for gratitude? I slunk away, cheeks burning, making my way out the door, and back into the Iceberg Lounge.
—-
That… had gone poorly. Hadn't even gotten a rise out of Lady Shiva, but I'd established a few things by getting her to speak up, at least.
She scared the hell out of the other villains because nobody knew how to deal with her, she was only in the room because of her magical credentials…
And she knew an awful lot about Triskele.
There was something in that. I paced outside, clicking my fingers. Mirror Master had left ages ago, or I'd've gone and asked him, but…
She was brand new, terrifying, never been to one of these meetings before… Her League seemed to be a major local power, one they were all familiar with, enough they just called it 'The League' rather than the 'League of Assassins', but also either small enough or competent enough I hadn't heard of them.
But they were the only local magic users on the block, or they had been before Scarecrow had suddenly shown up with powers, and all of a sudden they were important. Because now they were needed and they-
Oh.
Oh bloody hell.
I had it. I rushed off at a dead sprint. Ivy, Ivy had a room here, right? Did any of the other villains? I accosted one of the serving girls in the hall, a tiny young thing with wrists like a bird, wearing a blue bunny outfit.
"Lady Shiva's room, does she have one here? Which is it?" I knew I sounded like a crazed maniac. Probably looked like one too, spittle drooling all down my chin. Gave her the fright of her life, but she gave the answer right quick, before she had the chance to think about why telling me might be a mistake.
"Eighth floor, room twenty two! Room twenty two!"
And I was off like a shot. Rushing upstairs, up to the room in question. The door looked… normal. No energies radiating through it, no occult aura to give away that it belonged to a magic user of any kind. I peered through the lock and saw the exact same tacky bloody bedroom as I'd had. No hints of any personal effects, and the bed was even still made, like she'd never even slept in it. But I had to know.
Because it struck me that when a villain suddenly develops magic powers, maybe it's the only major magic users in the area who taught them how to do it.
And yes, given what happened back in London last month, I'm well aware of the irony behind my thinking that.
It didn't take me too long to crack the lock, this place had trash security. Banking on the fact nobody would be nuts enough to try to steal from a supervillain, probably. I opened the door up and stepped into the blandest, most typical hotel room imaginable. I wasn't even convinced this was an occupied suite until I started turning the place over. Yeah, I know, crazy to rob a supervillain, but I was crazy and if I couldn't do this…
Then Scarecrow would get away with it. He'd get away with killing my father.
I closed my eyes and let out a breath. I hadn't even thought about it in about half an hour. The longest I'd gone without thinking about Dad since I'd found out he'd passed. I'd been in full flow, working, distracted and now…
I had to get back to it. I kept searching, finding nothing, no trace anybody was even here, until I finally hit the jackpot by looking under the bed.
A backpack, her supplies. I unzipped it half hoping for demonological tomes or magic artefacts, but it was just martial arts gear. Wristwraps, some kind of… knife… thing attached to a rope, a rolled up training mat, plus some books. Guides on some weird obscure variations of Tai-chi, mostly. They were hand-written in ink, and one of them was incomplete, something she's writing herself by the looks. There were pens in there, too, which only confirmed that theory.
She wasn't even a damn wizard, nevermind a diplomat. She was a martial artist! They recognised her by name, so she really was a villain, and a capable fighter at that. But not a spellslinger. So why send her to dispense magical advice?
That only made me more confident, but I had no proof. Dammit. I shoved it all back under the bed, better not let her know I was h- wait… no, nevermind. Okay, I can use this, I can-
I took her bag right back out again and started perusing the books. The last one with the blank pages was just what I needed. I took her pen and studied the handwriting closely. I'd forged enough signatures I could replicate it for a line or two, but a whole page would be hard.
I scrawled chaos onto the page. I knew my marks would never study it for detail, they'd just check the handwriting, so I made sure to get that impeccable as I drew out a pentagram and a godawfully done sketch of Baphomet. The poor quality was for the best, since a well-done one might draw the attention of the real thing. But people were suckers for pentagrams and Baphoments, and I was a dead man if any of the villains downstairs had the slightest doubt what I'd drawn was legitimate.
I scrawled some half-remembered backwards Latin, a few formulae and incantations. One of which I knew really would summon a demon, but only a minor one. Nothing these pricks couldn't get ahold of on their own, since there was no need to go handing them any extra ammo to unleash on an unsuspecting populace. And right at the bottom, I scrawled a name in big capitals, just to make it clear who this nightmare scrawling was all about, to an audience I knew wouldn't be able to make heads nor tails of the rest.
'TRISKELE'
I looked upon my work with pride and horror. Okay. Okay, they might buy this. They might actually buy this. I grabbed the pack as a whole, since I figured I might as well be brazen about this if I was going to do it at all. I marched out of the room, timing it so one of the staff would see me and be able to corroborate where I'd gotten the bag from in case anybody questioned it.
I gripped the book in hand, heart pounding. Right. Alright John, either you pull this off, or you die. They're already pissed at you for making an arse of yourself in front of the dragon lady, if they realise you're conning them too, they swarm you and gut you.
So it's time to really pull out all the stops. I slicked my hair back, put on my best smirk, and kicked the door open with an almighty crack, tossing the bag into the centre of the room and the book along with it, open to the forged, incriminating page.
"Hello again lads! Bet you're wondering why I'm back. Well you'd never guess what I found whilst rooting around in Lady Shiva's underwear drawer!"
—-
That gag got a snicker out of Harley, at least. She covered her mouth to try to hide it, but she was grinning from ear to ear. Half my side of the room was smirking too, Ivy and Freeze. Only Penguin still had a scowl on, and most amusingly, one half of Two-face was grinning whilst the other was glaring daggers at me.
"This is yours, yeah? I mean, found it in your room and all, so I assume that means it's yours?"
To her credit, she didn't so much as move a muscle at my dramatic entrance and open insults. She just turned to me, assessed me calmly, and opened her mouth to reply in a measured, deliberate tone.
Maybe a bit more measured and deliberate than before, mind you. A lot more controlled. Made me wonder just what was roiling under the surface. "The bag belongs to me, as does the book."
"Would you care to tell the class just what's written on that page?"
She stepped forward, leaning down to pick it up, reading for just a few moments before her eyes hit the name at the bottom and she dropped it like a hot potato.
"Well? What's it say, Lady Shiva? What's it say?"
The rest of the villains were crowding around, now. Freeze was the first one to pick it up, holding the book between thumb and forefinger like it was contaminated with something, as though anything could touch him through that ridiculously heavy suit even if it was.
He looked almost disappointed as he read it, tutting faintly. "...Lady Shiva. You know the ritual to summon this Triskele? You knew all along? And you did not inform us of this fact? This would have been useful. This could have saved the lives of our employees."
"The ritual is not mine." She said, the words dripping with venom. Her mask cracked now, and she stared at me with intent. The entirety of her being focused entirely on me, every muscle turning in my direction, tensing. "I assume it is yours, then?"
"Hey, don't look at me! I ain't the only 'magical expert' in the room." I loaded the words with sarcasm, shifting a little so Harley would have to brush past me to see the book, giving me an excuse to step back just out of Shiva's arm's reach to let him past.
"So why the fuck didn't you tell us? Freeze is right, we needed to know this. The fuck am I paying you for?!" Black Mask advanced on her, balling his fist, readying for combat. I knew a brawl about to erupt when I saw one. He raised a hand to push her, and she was coiled like a spring, wound tightly enough that I knew if he touched her he'd have several broken bones before her conscious brain even realised she was reacting.
So I cut in before he had the chance to. But not for her sake, oh no. "It's worse'n that, mate. See, there's only one reason I can think of why she wouldn't want you to see that."
Eyes turned to me, and behind me I heard Poison Ivy sigh. "John, don't showboat. Just tell us what you know."
Shiva's gaze in that moment could have melted steel. Her fingers twitched just a little, and I knew she was itching to snap something like a twig. So I walked right up to her, as close as I could get without physically touching, puffed my chest up and gave my best shit-eating, getting right in her face as I said
"It's because you didn't want them to know you had it, isn't it? Because if you had it from the start, it makes them start to wonder if you're the one who gave Scarecrow the ritual in the first place."
Her jaw tensed a little. The villains turned to her.
"A bold assertion, but one which would require equally bold evidence. You have substantiation for this beyond simple conjecture?" Riddler looked positively nervous right now, I could see him sweating as he spoke. He really was whipped by Shiva huh? Poor guy, maybe the story about the koans was true after all.
"Think about it, mate." I said, stepping back before that tension in Shiva turned to her slugging me in the face. "Scarecrow gets magic and all of a sudden her and her League are important. They get on the council, go from bit-players to the most important kids on the block who everybody's paying through the nose-" I gave Black Mask a meaningful glance at that "-To get to attend your little tea-party. Nobody else local knows how to do it, and Scarecrow didn't just turn up that kinda knowledge on his own. Triskele's a damn Queen of Hell, not some two-bit soul-stealer any punk with a pentagram could summon. That knowledge had to come from somewhere."
"You spin a good tale, Laughing Magician. What I'd heard of you is true, it seems." She said, not letting any of her obvious frustration reach her voice. Well, obvious insofar as a slightly tense jaw and a few twitches of her fingers is obvious, anyway. Obvious when she'd been still as a statue until I started unravelling her story.
"You have a better one to counter it?" I ask, stepping back whilst the villains swarmed like piranhas, tearing into the book, trying to memorise the information for themselves, and turning on Shiva, too. Pressing her for answers. Demanding she explain herself. Confusion slowly started turning to rage, turning to violence. The situation was escalating out of control, for her.
"...No. I do not. Your story is coherent, logical, and fabricated entirely from whole cloth. I commend you."
"You ain't even gonna defend yourself?" Penguin asked in shock.
"No. I am a fighter and assassin, not a diplomat nor magus, despite having been thrust into both roles by my superiors. I know of no counter to what the Laughing Magician has put forward, and will not embarrass myself in attempting to devise one."
Penguin had been in disbelief so far, but at those words, something closed in his expression and his grip tightened around the handle of his umbrella. "...Then get the fuck out before oi throw you out, Shiva."
She bowed her head in respect. At Penguin, first of all. "As you wish. You have been a most gracious host, Penguin, and I thank you for your hospitality. The sushi was delightful, and I was entirely unoffended by the stereotypical choice of meal." Ouch. That was ice bloody cold, if you'll pardon the pun. And then she bowed her head towards me, too. "And though words are not a battlefield I would ever choose willingly, you have been a most worthy opponent regardless. If you ever dare intrude on my quarters again, however, I will break every bone in your body, and let you scream for seven days before killing you on the eighth. Good day."
She turned, and she left. Picking up her backpack, snatching the book from the hands of an aghast Riddler, and walking out of the building with her head held high, like she hadn't just been framed, shamed and burgled by some random Brit in a silly coat.
Fair enough then. Note to self though, do not ever try that again with her, because I rather like not having all me bones broken and then… whatever else it was she'd just said.
"...Can't believe it. All that fucking money… I'm not seeing a fucking cent back, am I? I'll fuckin' kill her, the conniving little whore. I'll-" Black Mask was seething, ranting until Penguin cut him off.
"You're an idiot, Black Mask. But it's fine. At least it was your money and not mine. My expert came through pretty well at least, eh?" He clapped me on the back, and I winced at the touch, but I gave a nod of agreement anyway.
Everybody was finally starting to quieten down as Two-face stepped forward, saying "Well, I believe that makes the decision for us, no? Scarecrow is not the true threat to us, but rather he is being used by the League to attack us. The League will need to be dealt with… but their tool must die, first. Shall we vote, and declare a verdict?"
In the end, it was nearly unanimous. Only Riddler, embarrassed and refusing to admit he was wrong, voted nay, and even though Two-face put his vote down to a coin flip, it was so easy to use a little sleight of hand to rig those that it wasn't even funny. The worst part was, he probably thought I hadn't noticed him doing it.
No, wait, the worst part was he probably thought none of the other villains noticed, either.
The votes were in, the verdict reached. Tomorrow, The Scarecrow would die. They'd bought my lie hook line and sinker, one which I wasn't even convinced was truly a lie given how easily Shiva'd given in. They'd bought it because I'd realised what I'd been missing all along. These so-called villains weren't gods, or monsters. They were just mobsters, people. Petty and afraid in the face of the unknown, a new and confusing kind of enemy that risks disrupting their carefully laid plans and fragile little empires.
And now I had that them wrapped around my pinky finger, because I was the one who knew about the big, scary thing that had them so worried. I was the one who could save them.
I could've made them do anything in that moment. Made them turn themselves around, flee and high and dismantle their empires for fear of their lives by building them up a demonic bogeyman in the Scarecrow, or delve into the depths of depravity and hand over all the spoils to me.
But I'm no hero, and I'm sure as hell no monster. I didn't want any of that. I just wanted my Dad back.
And failing that, I'd happily use these fuckers to take the head of the guy who'd killed him, instead.
If only, I kept telling myself, to make sure he didn't hurt anybody else with the damn toxin mix I'd given him. So nobody else would lose a Dad because of him.
So nobody else would lose a Dad because of me.