Sedona by Houndmouth

Märchenbilder Op. 113: I. Nicht Schnell by Robert Schumann

I had spent the night curled up next to Edward on the floor. I was worried that not sleeping on a bed would hurt his back- perhaps that's why he slouched so. That was another thing I was going to get him. I had already purchased a grand piano, and now I would acquire a bed. It could be used for activities besides sleeping, also.

I thought of Edward and me in our new bed as I drove over to the Swan residence. If it worked out today, I could drive them every morning. It was an exciting prospect.

I walked up the steps and knocked on the door. I heard only two heartbeats- the cruiser was gone- and the sounds of eating. Excellent, I hoped that meant that Edward was eating plenty.

Alice opened the door, mouth full of corn puffs and milk, only half dressed for the day in a sleep shirt and multi coloured leggings. I supposed I was rather early, but I just couldn't wait to see him in a conscious state again.

"Hey, come on in, we're not exactly ready," I pushed off my raincoat and followed Alice into the kitchen. Edward was bent over a bowl of cereal, his hair damp and dark, dripping on the table. He smelled like soap and boy and I wanted to wrap myself around him.

"Can I have a cup of coffee?" I gestured toward the half full pot sitting on the counter. I wanted to hold it and feel warm, but I knew I would also have to drink some. Alice nodded and sat down next to Edward, back towards me, as I poured the cup and put it in the microwave.

Edward discarded the empty bowl and moved across the hall to his room. Alice followed shortly thereafter, dancing up the stairs after asking if I wanted to join her. I politely declined, I didn't want to be further away from Edward than necessary.

I heard him pull up his T-shirt and drop it on the floor. I imagined being in there with him, pulling his clothes off, running my hands across his smooth chest. I would kiss his full mouth, then move down, kissing across his sharp jaw, then down to his throat. His blood would be rushing quickly through his body, heart pounding, and I would kiss his jugular, before pulling it into my mouth and-

I shook my head, trying to clear my head. I couldn't entertain thoughts like that for a long while. Be what he needs you to be, Bella. Edward came out of his room first, dressed again in a hoody and holey jeans. He looked delectable, all long limbs and wet hair.

Alice skipped downstairs and out the door without a word. I could hear her opening the car down and climbing in before Edward even moved. I smiled to myself and made my way into the foyer to get my raincoat, Edward following behind me. I heard his heart rate pick up from just walking, and it was a little concerning. I couldn't smell any diseases or conditions, I hoped there wasn't anything laying dormant in him, I reminded myself to ask Carlisle why his heart rate would sporadically pick up.

I slipped on my jacket and moved to open the door that Alice had slammed behind her, but I let Edward beat me to it. His slender fingers wrapped around the knob and he pulled it in. I wanted to be that door, I wanted to feel Edward's fingers on my skin. I needed to.

As I walked through the door, my hand reached out of its own volition and touched his. It was just supposed to come off as a pat, a "thank you for holding the door" pat, but it was so much more.

His skin was impossibly soft and warm, I could feel the blood underneath the surface, every facet of every invisible hair on his knuckle. It was electrifying. I could almost hear our skin crackle.

I turned my head to look into his face, our hands still touching. His expression made me want to cry. He looked like the opposite of how I felt. His jaw was clenched, lips drawn in a line, eyes tight and uncomfortable. I withdrew my hand quickly and rushed to the car at human speed.

Had I hurt him? I was rather practiced at keep my touches soft when interacting with humans, but perhaps I got carried away and pressed too hard? What if I repulsed him, and he wanted someone warm and alive rather than the feeling of my hard, cold skin?

His heart was still beating hard as he slid into the back seat. I was internally grateful that Alice had chosen to sit in the front seat. And she was flicking through radio stations and chattering about music before I even pulled out of the driveway, completely oblivious to the tension between Edward and I.

"This is a really nice car. I almost like it better than the BMW. What year is it? How did you get it?"

"Oh, it's a 1953. Rose rebuilt it for me. It was a birthday present," I wasn't even really paying attention to anything but Edward. He had pulled his hoodie up, and it was getting damp from the wetness in his hair. He was slouched in the back seat and was scratching at his wrist again, heart still thumping. I was consumed with shame. He looked so uncomfortable, and I made him that way.

We were pulling into the parking lot when I smelled blood. The venom was flowing freely; I couldn't hold my breath fast enough. It didn't usually bother me, but it was Edward's blood. I sped through the parking lot and violently slammed on the breaks in Rose's usual parking spot. I flew out of the car and almost yanked Edward's door off.

"Are you ok," I gasped. I must have hurt him somehow, either from touching him or my driving or my car, because he was still bleeding. My Edward was hurt, I felt my chest crack and a sob rip through. I could have sworn that venom was pooling in my eyes. My fault, my fault, my fault.

He looked in my eyes, and I saw the worry in there. He still wasn't speaking though, didn't even act like h heard a word I said. He did look fine, though. Nervous, worried, but not physically damaged.

"Edward, are you okay?" My voice was gentler, but I was still blocking him from getting out, blocking the anyone in the empty parking lot from seeing him. Alice opened the passenger door and got out.

"I'm gonna, uh, go to class. See you in English," I heard her slip away, but I couldn't pull my eyes from Edward's, he still looked unwell. He was even a shade paler.

"I'm f-f-f-fine," his voice was soft, almost apologetic. He moved to get out of the truck, and I let him, but I didn't let him get any further.

"Edward, where are you bleeding," he said he was okay, and I believed him, of course, but he was still bleeding! I had to attend to it, had to make sure he didn't lose any blood. Perhaps that was why he was paler.

"I'm not," he said, pulling at the sleeves of his sweater. I followed his hands, and breathed in for the first time since I had parked. His arm, that's what was bleeding. Under his sweater, where he was scratching at earlier.

I pulled his arm to me and pushed up the sleeve, to his protest. He tried to pull his arm away, made a little upset noise. I could deal with him being upset with me later, but now I needed to do this, lest I go insane.

I was horrified. There was a long burn-looking mark that was bleeding in the soft, white skin of his inner wrist. There were other burn looking marks all up and down his arm, some of them scabbed over and others fresher looking. He had scratched at his skin until it bled.

I pulled a tissue from my bag in the front seat and pressed it to the bleeding burn. I was so hurt that my beautiful Edward could do anything like that to himself, but I kept my expression even and calm. He needed me not to judge him, and I wouldn't.

I moved his other hand to hold the tissue to his arm, relishing in the electricity on my skin and the warmth of his body. I moved to the trunk of the truck and pulled out the first aid kit I had stored there this morning.

After swabbing the area with an alcohol wipe and applying a Band-Aid, I leaned down and kissed the area next to the burn. I couldn't help it. My eyes closed as my lips made contact with his soft skin, this feeling was unparalleled. I tried to convey to him that I accepted him no matter what through one, soft, fleeting kiss.

When I looked up at him, his brows were knotted together and his eyes cast down in shame. My Edward. My perfect Edward. I love you. Please don't hurt yourself. Please look at me.

And he did. He looked in my eyes and swallowed uncomfortably, shifting between his feet. I needed to let him go, let him have time without me, however much it hurt me to do so. I released his now-covered arm and walked away, each step that took me further away from him was not physically painful to take.

I was breathing deeply all through homeroom, making sure there was no scent of Edward's blood in the air. I was focused on his heartbeat, all the way over in Building 5. It was even and steady, but I wanted to see his face to make sure he was okay.

Alice was uncharacteristically quiet at the beginning of English, scribbling away in her sketchbook. Her mouth was pulled into a little frown, and her cheeks were pink, and I wondered if she knew about Edward's self harm. I swallowed a growl with the venom that came with her blush, angry that she knew and didn't stop him. I clenched my fists and turned to the front of the room when Mr. Mason started talking, needing a distraction lest I did something stupid.

I stormed out of the room when the bell rang to find Rose. I needed someone to keep me from acting on my uncharacteristic anger. I needed someone to stop me from taking Edward out of school, driving up to Canada, completing our bond, and keeping him safe for the rest of our existence. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him for forever.

Rose let me pull her out of school and into the parking lot without a word. We wouldn't be in our next class, it was inevitable.

"Stop me, Rose," I hissed, clutching my sides to keep from falling apart. Rose seemed surprised, to say the least. But she didn't even say anything, just cocked her eyebrow in typical Rose fashion and held my hand. I squeezed it softly, like I would if it were Edward's precious hand in mine.

"I didn't realise, Rose. I have so much to learn," I cried, throwing myself into the arms of my Amazonian of a sister, "I have no idea what I'm doing!"

"Just get to know him," Rose said into my hair, "Be what he needs." I just let her hold me, reflecting on her sage words. I had no issue being supportive of Edward, of being understanding. I wanted to learn WHY he would do something so harsh to his resplendent skin, I wanted to know everything about him.

"My emotions are crazy. It's like I have PMS or something," I joked, finally reigning in my anger. Rose always had that effect on me, she always knew exactly what to say, or what not to say. She snorted and unwrapped me from her hold, grabbing my hand and walking towards the tree line.

"It will get better when you complete the bond, I'm sure," I hadn't even thought of that. I would experience these raging emotions for two years? It was a terrifying prospect.

Rose and I ran silently through the woods, covering our bags with our raincoats and depositing them near school. There used to be nothing like running in the rain, experiencing the raindrops shattering on my skin, feeling branches whip at me and break off when I hit them. But every drop was too cold, I wanted Edward's touch. Rose threw me a wicked side eye, seemingly knowing that I was desperate for my mate, and circled back to get our bags.

I spent the rest of my day stressing out about lunch and biology. I didn't want anything to be uncomfortable between Edward and I. And it didn't help my agitated state when Tyler Crowley approached me before Spanish, propped up on his elbows at my desk.

"So, are you and that Masen kid goin out?" He asked bluntly. I had never been a fan of Tyler, and this didn't help. I just wanted to sit and pretend to be engaged in Mrs. Goff's lesson as I listened to Edward's strong heart beat the rhythm of my life.

"I wish," I mumbled in response to Tyler. He looked surprised, but he accepted my answer and moved to his own desk. Then, I heard the whispers.

"I can't believe Bella Cullen is going out with that freak!"

"Yeah, and did you see him today? He's so emo and weird-"

"Gross foster kid-"

"She's a 10 and he's-"

The anger was bubbling up, and the only thing that kept me on a simmer was Edward. His heart beat. The prospect of seeing him in moments. The fantasies I had of us running through the mountains together one hundred years from now. I unclenched my fists and ran to the cafeteria as fast as I could when the bell rang, eager to escape those petty humans and their vicious comments.

I smiled at him from the moment he walked through the doors. I wanted to convey that I bore no ill thoughts of him from the moment he saw me. He couldn't be uncomfortable with me, he was my mate, and I would never judge him.

But he did seem kind of uncomfortable. He arrived before Alice, and he kind of shuffled around the table before slouching onto the bench. His skin was all pink and soft as he opened up another peanut butter sandwich and picked at it with his slender fingers. I sighed and wished I was a sandwich, a thought I never imagined I would have.

But lunch wasn't particularly awkward. Alice and I carried on a conversation about the feminist themes of The Bell Jar, and Edward actually nodded in agreement with me when I started talking about the dehumanisation of Esther Greenwood.

And we walked together to Biology in a comfortable silence, filled with the soft sounds of Edward humming Märchenbilder. His voice was lovely, and I was suddenly very excited for my piano delivery in the coming weeks.

Friday was also relatively normal, or as normal any moment spent with someone as spectacular as Edward could be. He hummed along with the radio, and he nodded or shook his head when Alice and I had heated conversations about literature or politics.

When I dropped them off Friday afternoon, I happily reminded Edward that I would be by in the morning for our nature hike.

"Dress comfortably," I told him, even though I would have a spare pair of clothes for him in the trunk. Just in case.

And he didn't seem unexcited to spend the day with me. He was still semi-uncomfortable with me, something I hoped to change on Saturday, but it also meant that his cheeks were always tinged an adorable pink with his delicious blood.

I actually spend much of the night away from Edward. Of course, I checked in on him intermittently, and curled up next to him for a few hours, but Esme was teaching me how to cook.

We prepared the lunch I would be bringing- spinach salad and chicken subs- and then moved on to desserts. Esme wanted to make cake for after dinner, but we also made oatmeal cookies to bring on the hike. The more food I could get into him the better.

I put everything into one of those stereotypical wicked picnic baskets, complete with the red and white checkered blanket. I had picked out some of Carlisle's clothes to pack as spares, just a shirt, jeans, socks, boots and a coat. I would almost be happy if he had to use them, just so I could see him in something other than those baggy sweaters he wore. He looked wonderful in them, he would look good in anything, but it wouldn't hurt him to dress to match his gorgeousness.

He wasn't wearing a sweater when I picked him up, though, just a light, long sleeved shirt. But he was wearing his normal, holey sneakers, and I was glad I brought the boots.

"Oh, here," I said, handing him the plastic container with the ham and spinach omelette I had made, "I made too much this morning, you can have it if you'd like." He took the container and scarfed it down, humming appreciatively. Esme never steered me wrong!

"You've ne-never p-p-played music with-with w-words before," he said, actually initiated the conversation. I smiled over at him and turned up the song. I had burned a CD with a playlist for today. What can I say, I'm an old fashioned gal.

"I do like other music," I tapped my fingers to the beat of a Houndmouth song.

"Y-yeah, I li-like this s-s-song too," he gave me a little smile while staring out the window, and I thought I would explode with happiness. His smile was beautiful! His full lips were pulled over straight white teeth, and I was officially dazzled.

"W-watch the ro-road!" He cried, hands clutching the sides of the leather seats, green eyes wide and horrified. I laughed a little at his naïveté, but averted my eyes from him and to the road. Anything to make my mate happy.

I took the truck down the dirt road, contemplating Rose's faked anger when she realised she would have to wash the car. At least it was only cloudy, as Alice had predicted, and there was no sign of rain. It was actually pleasant outside, a perfect day for our long hike.

I grabbed the basket and strapped the camera around my neck, leading Edward to the trail. He even made the move to take the picnic basket out of my hands, my chivalrous boy. He really was the perfect mate, and he would make a stunning vampire.

I hummed on our two-hour hike, knowing Edward would be too out of breath to hum to me, but other than that, we were silent. I handed the camera off to Edward so he could take pictures of squirrels, a Clarks-Nutcracker, and two Green-Tailed-Towhees. I was glad it was a productive hike for this excuse of a school project. I likely would have found some reason or another to get Edward alone this weekend.

"We're almost there," I said, handing him a water bottle as we took a break. His skin was damp and he smelled delicious, all boy sweat and rushing blood. I wanted to kiss him. Hard.

"Great," he replied mindlessly, squinting at the trees ahead of us. I could see the meadow, but I doubted he could, especially on a cloudy day. I picked up a heartleaf arnica flower and stowed it in the picture book I had brought. I would press the flowers later and press them for the presentation, but I also planned on keeping the pressed flowers as a keepsake. First day alone with Edward. To the first of many firsts.

I pulled off my shoes when we made it to the clearing, and Edward followed suit, kicking off Carlisle's boots and setting them down deliberately next to mine. Edward helped me with the blanket, and we sat close to each other on the ground. It was lovely.

"So, where did you live before Forks?" I asked as we ate our salads. At least it was better than any processed food.

"We w-were st-sta-staying in s-s-s," he breathed, but he didn't seem uncomfortable with the question, and I nodded encouragingly, "s-s-separate gr-group homes in Port Angeles. B-before th-that, a f-f-foster home in Seq-q-q-quim. B-before th-that, I d-don't even know." My heart broke for him, but I was careful to keep the sympathy out of my expression as to not offend him.

"I moved around a lot growing up, too," I nodded, "still do, actually. Carlisle is a doctor, and he's very in demand, not to brag, but we move pretty often for his job. We were in Alaska before Forks."

"W-wow! Alaska! I-I've never b-been out o-of s-st-state," he shared, his cheeks turning pink. What an adorable boy! And we would travel plenty after we bonded, maybe even before. We had to spend our next summer somehow!

"W-what's b-b-b-been your f-fav-v-vourite place to l-live?" He asked, munching on the submarine sandwich. "Oh, w-wow th-this is good!" He exclaimed.

"Thank you, they're my favourite too," I lied, "And I think Forks has been my favourite place so far." And it would be until Edward left it. My favourite place in the world would be wherever Edward was.

"F-Forks?" His face clouded with confusion, "w-why F-Forks?"

"Because that's where you are," I said honestly, reaching my hand out to touch his knee. I couldn't lie to him. But it was clearly a mistake. His jaw clenched angrily for the first time that day, and he pulled his eyes away from me and to the green grass. He even stuck his hand under the sleeve of his shirt and began scratching absentmindedly.

"D-don't d-d-do th-th-that," he whispered harshly, scratching harder and slouching. I leaned over and pulled his hand away from his wrist, I didn't think I could deal if he began bleeding again.

"Do what?" I asked kindly, weaving my fingers through his. It was heaven. I wanted to look down at our conjoined hands, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from his ravishingly angry face.

"M-make f-f-fun of m-me. W-w-why are y-y-y-y-you d-d-doing th-this?" He pulled his hands from mine and tucked it into his side. I wanted to hold him, to show him how much I loved him.

"Oh, Edward, no!" I cried, "I'm not making fun of you! I mean what I say, I always mean what I say." I put my hand back on his knee, and he flinched. I knew it wasn't from pressure, I had been practicing.

"I really do like you, Edward. I think you're wonderful," I added honestly. His expression softened, and he looked at me and gave me a shy smile.

"I like you, too," he said after several moments. I could have died right then, and I would have died a happy woman. My mate was a sweet, smart, gorgeous human, and he liked me! And then his stomach grumbled audibly, Edward blushed, and the thickness of adoration in the air was cut through.

"Oh, here! I made them last night," I said, handing him a pile of oatmeal cookies, when I noticed he had finished the sub. He was still all blushy and smiley, but he ate the cookies happily. What a satisfying day!

We spent the afternoon picking wildflowers and talking about anything and everything. I learned his favourite animal was an octopus because they were so intelligent, and that he secretly loved the Harry Potter series, an obsession I told him I shared. Neither of us had ever had pets (I didn't mention the grizzly Emmett tried to keep in the 80's), and he really wanted to go to college, but he wanted to go wherever Alice did. I didn't ask why, but I assumed it had something to do with the fact that he slept on her floor every night.

Our walk back was comfortable, at last we were comfortable together at last. Our project was basically finished, but I didn't think I would need an excuse to see him outside of school again.

He was all deliciously sweaty when we got back to the truck, and I offered him a shirt to change into before we went home for dinner. He accepted it gratefully, but just held it in the dirt parking lot and blushed, staring at the ground.

"What?" I asked, and he shifted back and forth.

"I n-n-need to ch-change," he whispered, and realisation dawned. He was embarrassed! Mates weren't supposed to experience this around each other, but he WAS human. I turned around, but listened to him peel off his sweaty shirt. I thought about his chest, about touching it, and I felt a warmth grow in my chest and stomach. I felt flushed, even though I knew it wasn't physically possible.

We chatted as we drove this time, carrying on our comfortable conversation from earlier in the afternoon. The sun was dipping in the sky, and the clouds were turning a bright orange that reflected my elated mood. I reached over and placed my hand on his, and he flipped his palm and weaved our fingers together of his own volition. Our hands stayed intertwined until I had to downshift, pulling into my long and twisting driveway.

And that was the first time Edward met my family.

Who was the first person you held hands with?