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Happy- Bastille/Marshmello
Préludes, Book 1, L. 117: I. Danseuses de Delphes- Claude Debussy
"I took care of them," Rose said the second I walked through the door. She and Esme were sitting on the coach playing a video game. Given the crushed controller that was in the trashcan in the living room, I gleaned that Emmett had played earlier and lost. Now, he and Carlisle were on the first floor balcony where Carlisle was schooling Emmett in chess.
"Took care of whom?" Carlisle was immediately in the room, his arms crossed and an expectant expression on his face. Rose explained what had happened- how I picked up the scent of Edward's blood as we headed out of Port Angeles, how he was being beaten and robbed. And how she left Edward and me at a restaurant to go find the gang of attackers.
For once, I liked hearing of the violence that was inflicted on those men. I wished I was there with Rosalie instead of spilling all my secrets to my fragile human mate.
"Don't worry, Carlisle, I didn't kill them," Rose said before Carlisle could chastise her, "I roughed them up a little bit, but once they were all knocked out, I dumped them in front of the Port Angeles police station and covered them in beer, so it would be clear that they passed out drunk."
Logically, I knew that Rose's route to justice was the right one, and that all human life is sacred. That was the whole point of our lifestyle. But I wanted nothing more than to rip the head off of that creepy man with the dark hair who I had seen kick Edward.
I didn't allow myself to picture his death, though. I had already changed so much, I couldn't descend into bloodlust as well.
"Edward knows," I blurted out, interrupting Rose as she detailed to Emmett kicking one of the men in the crotch. The room fell deadly silent, no one moved, no one breathed. I looked to the faces of my family. Esme, as always, seemed accepting of the news. She was my mom in every way that mattered, and I knew that she wouldn't be outraged or angry with me, she was too empathetic and compassionate for that. Emmett was just looking to Rose, waiting to see her reaction before he decided how he felt about the news.
It was Rose and Carlisle I was worried about.
Carlisle looked to be computing the news.
"Elucidate," Carlisle asked, prompting me to go on.
"He already really knew. He heard some scary stories from some of the Quileute kids when he was in La Push yesterday, then he read a book. He figured it out on his own, I just put some of the pieces together. And I told him about myself, my human life," I spoke quickly, so no one would interrupt. And I looked to Esme first.
She put her video game controller down and went into the kitchen, heating up water in the microwave and putting in a tea bag. In the meantime, Carlisle spoke, and everyone else listened.
"I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later, but Bella, don't you think this is rather soon?" Carlisle questioned.
"Yeah, Carlisle is right. I saw Edward today, he was shaken, bleeding. Was he really ready to hear all that?" Rose commented. She did not mention the obvious that I had thought she would point out. How I had broken the law, and put our entire family in danger. By then, Esme returned to the room, passing me the boiling hot cup of tea and wrapping an arm around me.
"Not only does he know, but now he knows you, right?" She smiled down at me, squeezing my shoulder. She had a point, and I smiled back at her, the hot tea and her warm expression making me feel more comfortable.
I had spent my entire time with Edward trying to conceal myself, my true nature, and my past. This was an entirely new chapter of my life, our life together. I could tell him about my past, answer questions he had, I could help him care for himself. And perhaps, finally, he could learn to trust me, because I knew that was something he had a problem with.
"I have to say it," Rose interjected, sighing. I knew exactly what she was going to say, but I knew she took no pleasure in it. "You've broken the law. There is only one option, now, and that will be his eventual change. He can't stay human, he can't live out his life, have children. None of it. There is only one outcome."
Rosalie left the room quickly, her golden hair whipping behind her as she ran into the night. Emmett gave me a sheepish look and bounded after her, ready to comfort her.
I wasn't as upset as Rose. I didn't hate or resent my existence, in fact, I very much enjoyed it. I had been given the opportunity to visit every corner of the earth, learn all the languages I couldn't cram into my human brain, master instruments and dances and art. I had made friends, both human and vampire, and fostered eternal connections by joining and helping to form a family. But until I had met Edward, I didn't know just how empty my life was. He filled the whole in my heart that I had never known was there, and if him knowing ensured I could keep him with me for all eternity, then I didn't exactly hate that he knew.
It certainly wasn't the worst thing to ever happen to me.
"How did he react?" Carlisle asked, still calculating all possible outcomes. It was the exact same thing he had said, all those years ago, when we were still in Volterra. When I had told Aro that Carlisle and I were leaving to the New World.
"Too well. I'm worried he's in shock or something. He just wanted to know how old I was, if we slept in coffins. What we eat. He was entirely calm the entire time, and he drove us back in silence. He even held my hand the entire time, clearly not at all scared off."
Carlisle wasn't sure what to make of what I told them, nor was I. I remained confounded by Edward's calm acceptance. Even when I was changed, I couldn't believe what had happened, what I had turned in to. It took many years to accept that I would never grow old with my husband and children, but also that real life monsters roamed the world, thirsting for blood and leaving death and chaos in their wake.
"I'm going to go check on him," I said, setting down my now lukewarm cup of tea on the coffee table before heading to my room.
"I think that's an excellent idea," Esme nodded, picking up my discarded mug and disposing of it in the kitchen.
"See what I mean, Carlisle," I overheard, "This kitchen is completely outdated. Stainless steel appliances are nouveau riche. And white cabinets? What was I thinking! It's so sterile and modern, we should go with something warm and rich this time. I'm thinking cherry wood cabinets and a light grey tile countertop to offset the darkness…" Carlisle hummed in agreement with his wife as she planned her newest renovation. I knew they were purposefully not discussing anything concerning me until I left, so I hurriedly changed into a sweater and a new pair of pants and ran off to see my mate.
It was pouring, but I ran under the thickest of foliage, and quickly enough that I wasn't soaking wet by the time I made it to the tree I so often resided in. It was still too early for anyone to be asleep, but I heard Charlie's snoring from the coach. He had fallen asleep watching some baseball game, and from his breathing and heartbeat, he wasn't likely to be waking up anytime soon.
Alice I saw in her room upstairs, a sketchbook propped on her lap as she concentrated intently on whatever she was working on, colored pencils and charcoal sticks spread out on the floor. I wondered what she was working on, and made a note to ask her the next time I spent any amount of time with her. Edward seemed very well versed in art history, so I could imagine that his sister had some talent.
But it was Edward I had to focus on. He was in his own closet of a room, a giant pair of headphone blasting Brahms into his delicate human ears. As much as I too appreciated Piano Concerto No. 2, I didn't want him to damage any part of himself.
But then I noticed it wasn't his ears I should be concerned about. Tears were streaming down his face, sobs tearing through his chest violently, as if they were ripping him apart from the inside.
I was frozen. I didn't know what to do. Should I tap on his window, go in and comfort him? Or would that just startle him. Was this something he wanted privacy for? I knew how sensitive men were about showing their feelings and expressing any weakness, but I didn't think Edward was like that. In the context of our conversation today and his near-death experience, I figured his breakdown had something to do with me, and I decided.
I moved quickly from the tree to the window, which was only just covered by the roof, and tapped lightly on the window, trying not to startle him. I heard his sob catch in his throat, and his eyes met mine through the window.
My heart broke for him. He looked completely destroyed, eyes reddened and wet, his face flushed and tear- stained. He took off his headphones, though, and carefully wrapped them up and set them on his small nightstand before opening the window for me.
I climbed in and immediately wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him to me and hugging him as hard as his body could take. The scent of blood, Edward's precious blood, was heavy in the air. I felt him crumble under me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and burying his head in my hair. I held on to him, keeping him upright, as he sobbed into my hair. I wished I too could cry, so I could have some kind of release for the utter despair that had built up in me.
We stood there for several minutes, in his room, the window open, as my beautiful Edward cried on me, almost inconsolable.
The tears didn't stop, but he appeared to have regained some control of his breathing, the wet, hiccupping gulps occurring far less often, and the terrifying sobs ripped through even more infrequently.
"Please talk to me," I begged, speaking into his chest, right where his heart was. Standing this close, it was as if we were one, his heart was mine, his warmth shared. I could understand why Emmett and Rose needed alone time intermittently. This connection, this closeness, I wished I could spend the rest of my existence right in Edward's arms.
"I-I-I'm s-s-s-sorry," He sobbed, still clutching me. I didn't understand what was happening. If his breakdown was because of me, because of what he had discovered, why wasn't he shoving me away and yelling at me to get out of his house.
"What is there to be sorry for?" I couldn't imagine Edward, my Edward, doing any wrong. He was such a kind and gentle soul, with a shy grin and quick wit.
"I w-w-wish I-I had a-a k-k-keyboard," Edward mumbling, his face still buried in my hair. I knew he hadn't meant for me to hear, but indeed I did.
"There's a piano in my home," I told him, pulling away slightly so I could see his face. I had bought a piano the moment I noticed Edward playing along on his knees in my car, much to Rose's delight. She wasn't the most skilled musician, but she did so enjoy playing.
I never imagined I could think such a though, but Edward looked awful. His eyes were red and tired, and a blood vessel had popped in his left eye. His nose was running and his entire face was wet with tears. He pulled back from me to wipe his nose and eyes with the sleeve of his sweater and I noticed the scent of blood that was still lingering in the air.
I caught his arm before he could wrap it back around me and pulled up his sleeve. This time, he didn't fight me, allowing me to examine closely the bloody tracks along his wrists, leading right up to the crook of his elbow. I clenched my jaw but resolved to not show any emotion on my face, lest he think I was mad at him. I could never be mad at my gorgeous, broken mate. He just needed help.
I walked him to the bed and had him sit down, the sleeves of his sweater still pushed up. Carefully, I listened for Charlie and Alice. Charlie was still sound asleep, and Alice seemed to be intensely working on her sketching. I looked back to Edward, who was staring at his arms, watching the ruby red droplets leak from one of the cuts.
My heart was absolutely breaking. This afternoon had been so easy, he seemed to be taking everything so well. But he was just internalizing everything.
"Hold on, I'll be right back," I told him. He didn't stir, so I turned and, at vampire speed, ran out the room and up the stairs into the bathroom. I quickly collected everything I could need, and, thankfully, Charlie being the dedicated first responder he was, there was a fully stocked first aid kit.
I whipped back into the room in mere seconds, my hands full of tissues, antiseptic, and Band-Aids. Before Edward could even respond, I set to work cleaning out eat of the cuts on his arms, gently applying triple antibiotic ointment and bandages to each one.
"Y-Y-You h-have a-a-a piano?" Edward was back to not making eye contact, his eyes watching my fingers caress his soft, warm, bleeding skin. I wasn't sure where this conversation was going, as I still had not found out why Edward had broken down, but I answered.
"Yes, Rosalie is our resident amateur pianist. You're welcome to play on it whenever you wish," I offered. Edward's index finger tapped on his palm as though he was twitching, itching to play. He took a deep breath, the first time his lungs were full since I had seen him, as the sobbing preventing him from taking a full breath.
"Alice a-and I-I went t-to th-th-therapy t-today," I already knew this, but he didn't need to know I followed him everywhere, "A-And sh-she g-g-gave us h-homework.
"Sh-she wanted u-us to r-remember J-James and V-V-Victoria," Edward began crying again on the last names, and for the first time since I was over, the venom flowed in my mouth. Not even Edward's sweet, heavenly blood flowing freely could trigger such an aggressive response. I saw red for a moment, pure hate and vengeance pounding through my empty veins. I didn't know what they looked like, but I imagined snapping the necks of a faceless couple. For what they did, how they scarred my love. Those names did not deserve the luxury of being uttered from Edward's perfect mouth, his velvety voice sounding rough and wrong as he stumbled over those hateful names.
I did my best to keep my hatred at the sound of their names off my face, though, for Edward's sake. He needed a calm presence right now, and though I was the furthest thing from calm, I continued to attend to his wounds.
"Do you want to talk about it? With me?" I almost didn't want to hear. I feared my fragile control would fracture upon hearing exactly what those people did to Edward, and for how long it went on. But he shook his head no. I didn't blame him. Much to my chagrin, he likely didn't trust me, not with this, not yet at least.
"Y-You're v-v-very f-fast," Edward commented. I took that he wanted to change the subject, perhaps wanted a distraction. I grinned at him, careful to keep my teeth concealed. Usually, in humans, our teeth were subconsciously terrifying, and Edward was already bleeding and vulnerable.
"One of the perks. And I'm the slowest in my family. If you want to see fast, you should see Rose run. She's like lightning," Edward looked up at me then, but with a faraway look in his face, as if he wasn't look at me, but past me.
"The r-rest of y-your f-f-family, they're l-like y-y-you?"
"Yes, though I'm the oldest," I smiled at him again, putting the first aid supplies down and sitting on the floor, at Edward's feet. I felt at home here, at his feet. I wanted to worship him, show him how much I adored and loved him. I thought sitting on the ground would give him some semblance of control and power, and he seemed to be calming down, his breathing evening out after all that time crying. I decided to go on, telling him how we all came to be.
"After I was created, I found Carlisle. He was a likeminded, gentle soul, and we travelled together in Europe before deciding to come to the New World. In 1921, Carlisle found Esme, dying after a tragic accident, and he changed her. They've been together ever since. In 1933, I found Rose dying on the street, and my heart broke for her, so I changed her. Rose has been the… most reluctant of our family.
"Rose found Emmett after he had been attacked by a bear in the woods, and begged Carlisle to change him. And ever since then, we've been a family. We've traveled the country, never staying in one place too long because we don't age.
"Up until now, I thought you had taken everything in far too well," I confessed to him. He looked down at me, finally making meaningful contact, but his brows knitted together as though he was confused.
"T-Taken what i-in?" I was confused now as well.
"Well, it's not every day one finds out that mythical creatures are roaming the earth, and that one of your friends is a bloodthirsty vampire," I regretted my phrasing the moment it came out of my mouth, not wanting to scare Edward away.
"I-I th-thought you s-said you d-d-didn't f-feed from h-h-humans?" He swallowed, finally showing a normal fear response.
"That doesn't mean I'm not dangerous, Edward." Even in the seriousness of our conversation, I relished the sound of his name coming from my mouth, smooth and rich as honey.
It was then that I heard Charlie stir, waking himself from a deep sleep to shuffle upstairs and collapse into his bed. He was incredibly stressed. There had been several deaths in the area, vampire caused, and he was worried. For the sake of my love's caregiver, I vowed to take care of the interlopers before they could cause any more deaths or draw unnecessary attention to us.
"You should try to get some sleep, Edward," I told him, knowing that once he thought I had left, he would likely move upstairs to sleep on the floor of Alice's room, as he always did. My mate was a protector, and I had no doubt he fiercely loved his sister.
But surprisingly, he did as I asked. He moved to lay on his side, nestling under the duvet, never letting his eyes leave mine. Once he was settled, he closed his eyes, looking like a soft Adonis.
"T-Tell m-m-me a s-story?" He asked, eyes still closed. I smiled, this time with teeth, unable to hold myself back.
"Once upon a time," I began, but Edward scoffed. I knew he meant that he wanted to know something about my life, but I wanted to be silly, maybe make my Edward laugh, and so he did, a small smile gracing his perfect lips.
I spoke softly, telling him the story of the time I had met Henry VIII, late in the king's life, so he was already fat and ill, but was deluded and thought that he was as fit and strong as he had been when he was young. Edward retained his smile, eventually falling asleep, though I continued talking. I wanted to tell him everything, so I confessed to him how much I loved him.
"There's this attraction that pulls me to you, it's called the mating bond. It's like I've been frozen in time for five hundred years, and suddenly, you come along, thawing my heart and setting free all of these feelings. It's like I'm a teenager again, with mood swings and highs and lows. I know, in my head, that it will all stabilize and equalize once you're changed also, but for the time being, it's like I can't control myself. I just love you more than I can articulate
"I don't love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as one loves certain obscure things,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom but carries
the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,
and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose
from the earth lives dimly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you directly without problems or pride:
I love you like this because I don't know any other way to love,
except in this form in which I am not nor are you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes close with my dreams."
The second I finished my recitation of the Pablo Neruda poem that so put my overwhelming feelings into words, Edward's heart changed, his breathing picking up. A second later, he shot up in bed, hyperventilating and his heart pounding.
That was the time that I learned that Edward did trust me.
Wow you guys are lucky I'm feeling inspired. Please drop a review, they really do make my day, and from the viewing chart, not a whole lot of people are reading this story anymore.