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Happier (stripped)- Bastille

I. The Worst Guys (feat. Chance the Rapper)- Childish Gambino

I was startled, which is not an easy task. Moments previously, the night was quiet, Edward was fast asleep, and I was confessing my love aloud for the first time. I didn't even pick up the physiological signs that Edward was having a bad dream, he was calm and comfortable throughout my stories.

"Alice!" Edward gasped, trying to catch his breath. He was now sitting up in bed, beads of perspiration refracting tiny glitterings of soft light from where they formed on the back of his neck, begging for me to reach out and soothe his warmth with my cold skin.

With all my mental acuity and superhuman physicality, I could not respond as Edward twisted his body to get out of bed, his legs tangling in the duvet, causing him to fall to the floor with an "oomph". His fall seemed to shock him out of whatever sleep-induced stupor he had been in, and he looked at me from where he laid on the ground, mere inches from where I was sitting, mouth open, semi-amused at what had just transpired.

"Are you alright?" I asked, moving to help him up. He had disentangled himself from the duvet, revealing a gray pair of sweatpants underneath. Suddenly it was I in a stupor, as, though I had heard of the miracle of gray sweatpants from other hormone-driven teenage girls, I had never experienced the joy of the revealing nature of this particular article of clothing, and especially not on my mate. Edward had always worn dark jeans, and I had never paid much mind to the rest of his body. I had always devoted attention to the grace and dexterity of his hands, of the strength of his jaw, the delectableness of his fragrant neck, his kissable lips, and dazzling emerald eyes. Now I realized there were other aspects of his physique that deserved attention, no, worship.

"I d-didn't realize y-y-you'd s-still be here," Edward whispered, forcing my eyes to move from where they had been fixated to meet his. We were now standing very close, so that I had to tilt my head to meet his eyes. I didn't need to glance at a clock to know that it was 2 o'clock in the morning, an unnatural time for a human to be awake, and Edward already wasn't getting enough sleep.

"I couldn't bear to leave as you slept," I confessed, remaining where I was though I wanted to run into his arms and ravish him until he was exhausted and couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. Edward, though, made the first move, starting to turn and leave his bedroom altogether. I knew immediately what he wanted to go do, why he had called out Alice's name. Never, in all my nights watching over him, had I seen him sleep anywhere else but the floor of Alice's room.

"Where are you going?" I asked, knowing the answer, though I didn't want him to think me a stalker for already so intimately knowing his sleep patterns.

"Alice n-needs me," he murmured, still trying to leave. Finally, I there was an opening for me to ask a question that had been burning in my mind.

"Why?"

He was now holding his pillow and duvet, but his eyes were cast down, fixed on my sneaker-clad feet.

"I s-s-sleep on h-her f-floor," he answered simply, though I already knew this. Feeling like a toddler, I once again asked, "Why?"

He sighed, depositing the pillow and blanket next to him as he sat on the bed. He leaned forward, elbow resting on his thigh and fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes and I supposed collected his thoughts. I waited, silent and unmoving as stone, not wanting to disturb him in such a fragile and vulnerable state.

"I've a-always s-slept on her f-f-floor. When J-J-James c-came in, I could…" he swallowed thickly, eyes still closed as he confessed to me a deep, dark aspect of his past, "I c-could d-d-distract him."

My throat was tight and eyes burning from tears that would never come. I finally truly understood. He was protecting her. My Edward had sacrificed his own wellbeing, his own body, and his own sleep, for apparently years, to protect his sister. I wanted to hold him, to love him, and most importantly, I wanted to rip James and Victoria into pieces and burn their entrails. It would be the least they deserved.

"Edward, I am so sorry for what you have been through, for what you continue going through," I began, collected myself and keeping myself calm for his sake, "But I can promise you there is no threat to Alice in this home. Especially not while I'm here." I sounded confident, and when it came to Edward and Alice's safety, I was confident. But he sighed again and shook his head.

"I c-can't l-leave her," Edward once again collected his blanket and pillow and moved to get up.

"What if I stayed in her room? Would that make you more comfortable? I would really prefer you get a good night's rest in an actual bed."

Perhaps I had been convincing, or perhaps Edward was just very tired, but after a pause, he acquiesced, nodding his head and crawling back into bed. As I moved to exit his room and go to Alice, he called out for me to wait. I turned to see him sitting up in bed again, his pillow and duvet outstretched for me to take.

"Please, take it," Edward moved them towards me in offering. Even if I did sleep, I would never take his own items and leave him on his own bed with no covering or comfort. But the gesture, and his selflessness even at his own expense, was heartwarming. I gave him a small smile and shook my head.

"I don't sleep, remember?" Again, he didn't fight me, a sign that he too exhausted. The moment his head hit the pillow, he had fallen back into a deep sleep as quickly as he had awoken earlier.

"Goodnight, Edward."

I camped out on the rocking chair in Alice's bedroom, content to rock silently to the beat of Edward's familiar and melodious heart. He had entrusted me with the duty of watching over his sister, and I would take it seriously.

Carefully, I picked up on of the many sketchbooks sitting on the small desk next to my place in the chair. Alice, like everyone else who lived within my earshot, was deeply asleep. I flipped through the pages, momentarily wondering if the pages were private, but quickly discovered that Alice was an incredibly talented artist. There were pages and pages of very well-executed landscapes, with great attention paid to shadowing and color.

I picked up the next sketchbook on the pile to find far darker pieces. The first page was entirely red, as she had justly pressed a red colored pencil to the page and darkly colored until it was full. The next was of a young woman with flaming red hair and icy blue eyes. I felt a chill fall over me. The next page was of a young man with light brown hair that fell into his dark, piercing brown eyes. I knew instinctively whom they were. James and Victoria, Edward and Alice's former foster parents and abusers. I flipped through the sketchbook, half of which was filled with various sketches of them in different positions. In one, James was standing over a bed, a small, indistinct lump hidden under the covers. In another, it was Victoria's long, red nails scraping over bleeding skin. I snapped the book closed and returned it to its place on the desk. I had seen enough.

I had composed a mental to-do list over the past several days. I needed to find whatever nomads were disturbing the peace and stressing Charlie. I needed to purchase a bouquet of hydrangeas for Esme, as they were her favorite and she deserved them after being so supportive and wonderful. I needed to apply more oil to Edward's and Alice's bedroom windows so I could continue entering their home at night without disturbing them. But most importantly, I needed to find James and Victoria, and bring them to justice if they hadn't been already.

It was more than they deserved. They deserved decades of torture, of pain and suffering like they had inflicted on two innocent, lovely children whose care they had been entrusted with. I yearned for nothing more than to be the one to carry out their torment. But I knew that this was not true to my nature, no matter how vindictive I had become, and furthermore, if Edward ever found out, he was sure to be aghast.

I spent the remainder of my morning sitting in the rocking chair, contemplating everything from finding James and Victoria to what my existence had become since finding Edward. How tumultuous, how vibrant, how vivid the world had become since he slouched in and stole my heart.

Charlie, as always, awoke first. I slipped out of the window, but continued my watch perched on the tree, still obscured from human sight by the darkness of the early hour and the thin cover of leaves. As he lumbered out his room and began to walk downstairs to begin his morning coffee and newspaper routine, he opened the door to Alice's bedroom and peered in. I could see his expression of surprise to see Alice alone in her room, but then he just nodded and headed downstairs.

Alice awoke soon after, and began to ready herself from school. She flitted downstairs, dressed in an all-black ensemble and a black cat ear headband, a pure Alice form of expressive uniqueness. Once Alice was safely in the company of Charlie, I hopped down to the ground and slipped into Edward's room to continue sitting by his bed, relishing his company, even if he was unconscious.

I had resigned myself to leaving Edward so I could make it to school inside, and was already running from the house when I caught the beginning of Charlie and Alice's conversation. I stopped and turned back so I could overhear them, as they were usually silent in the morning.

"Is Edward still asleep?" Charlie asked.

"He must be," Alice responded, "We need to leave for school soon, I'll go get him up!"

"No, don't. Why don't we let him sleep today? I'll call Mrs. Cope and tell her he's sick. He could use the sleep."

I wanted to hug Charlie Swan and erect a monument in his honor. I wholeheartedly agreed that Edward needed to sleep for as long as his body needed it. Something nonverbal must have transpired, though, because Charlie added, "I'll stay home today."

I ran home and headed to school with Rose and Emmett, though it pained me to know that Edward would wake up and I would not be by his side. Logically, though, I knew it would draw attention for both Edward and myself to not be in school after all the attention I had drawn to us the past week, what with losing my temper and yelling at children.

School was unbearably long without Edward, though. Unlike Rose or Emmett, it had never really bothered me, attending high school over and over again. I always managed an easy friendship with a group of humans and, with my relative lack of bloodlust, it had never been difficult to be in a crowd.

But without Edward? I found myself counting the seconds, which is no way to pass time. Each teacher droned on about some meaningless topic in a lecture I had heard dozens of times before, my classmates were overwhelmingly loud with their idle chatting. The only sound I wanted to hear was Edward's strong heart and soft breath as he slept before me, long eyelashes casting shadows over his high cheekbones.

In their selfish, love-induced stupor, Rose and Emmett left me to my own devices during lunch, needing to get their fill of one another. It was a reason I intimately understood, but I could also acknowledge the self-centeredness of their decision.

I walked through the food line, grabbing a moderate amount of food and paying before turning and surveying the lunch room. On days when I was by myself, which were frequent, I usually sat with Jessica, Mike, Angela and them. But after how I had treated and yelled at them, I wasn't sure it would be appropriate of me to sit with them.

Before I could make a move to sit alone at the usual Cullen table that no one dared sit at, even when Rose and Emmet were not present, I caught an arm waving out of the corner of my eye. Jessica was dramatically waving her arm in the air to get my attention, her dark curls bouncing with her enthusiasm.

I walked through the lunchroom to sit beside Jessica at a table that included Mike, Eric, Angela, Ben, Tyler, and Lauren, though Lauren looked less than pleased with my presence at made a point to sneer in my general direction. Brave girl.

"We were just talking about the Sadie Hawkins dance next month," Jessica explained, acting as if nothing had transpired between us mere days prior, "That's why Angela and I were in Port Angeles on Sunday, you know, looking for dresses. Are you taking anyone?" I wondered how Jessica could possibly breathe when she talked so incessantly.

"I can't go to the dance. I already have plans that day," I noticed Mike looked crestfallen at my admission. He had asked me out on dates several times since my family arrived to Forks, and despite turning him down firmly each time, he was never discouraged. Hopefully, he wouldn't even ask me to the dance, it was getting kind of tiring. One of the woes of not only being the only single person in my family, but also the least intimidating, meant that no matter where I went, I was bound to be asked out.

"You made plans a month in advance?" Tyler questioned.

"It's my mother's birthday," I lied smoothly, needing an unquestionable excuse to fend them off, "So we're all going to Seattle that weekend to celebrate." The table kind of fell silent, which was strange for any area Jessica was in.

"I thought you were adopted?" Alice said, sliding onto the bench between Angela and Jessica. With all of the smells of humans and cafeteria food and the noise of students talking over one another, it was easy to miss Alice entering and joining our table. I looked at her in surprise, not only for the callous question, but also for the fact that she was sitting at a table with a bunch of people who had days earlier been bullying her brother.

"Esme Cullen is, for all intents and purposes, my mother."

"Aaaaanyway," Jessica said, drawing out the word, "I was thinking we could all get a limo, you know, like prom, and maybe we could all, like, go out for dinner beforehand. Make it, like, a group thing."

The conversation broke out, revolving around planning the logistics of the a dance that still weeks away. I tuned them out, instead choosing remember Edward's rare smile. With perfect recall, it was easy to remember every detail of his face, how his eyes crinkled and his lips crookedly turned up. It was an image I focused on until the final bell rang and I was able to run back to Edward.

He and Charlie were sitting on the couch, watching a replay of a baseball game seemingly contentedly. I couldn't be sure when Edward had awoken, but he hadn't changed, still dressed in his rumpled, blood and tear stained sweater and delightful gray sweatpants. His bronze hair was more mussed than normal, but I wished I could get a view of his face from the angle I was spying.

I could hear the rusty truck lumbering down the street from miles away, Alice behind the wheel, cheerfully singing along to some pop tune. I wasn't sure what to think about Edward's twin sister. Of course, I understood she had an incredibly difficult childhood just as Edward had, but she also made odd comments at odd times.

However, when Alice bounced through the door, Edward and Charlie both turned, giving me the opportunity to more thoroughly study his face. He looked… rested. The bags under his eyes had disappeared, his pallor had improved, and he just looked overall healthier.

I ran home to change, and returned to the Swan household to watch their nightly routine of homework, dinner, and sleep. I knocked on Edward's window again, after he had showered. His room smelled like soap and Edward, and his bronze hair was darkened and lying flat on his head. He looked delectable, and he smiled with his eyes as he opened the window, allowing me to slip into his room.

"You weren't at school today," I stated the obvious. He shook his head and didn't provide a verbal response.

"You look good. Rested," I stated the obvious, setting up for my offer, "And if you would like, I would be happy to stay with Alice again tonight."

He looked up at me, but just shrugged and nodded, sitting on his bed. I stood in silence, watching my wonderful mate as he fiddled with the thread on his bedsheet. After it became clear that tonight was not the night for a conversation, I opened the bedroom door to head to Alice's room.

"Goodnight, Edward. Sleep well," I called, shutting the door and running upstairs.

"Goodnight, Bella," Edward said softly behind me. I almost stopped and ran back to him. It was so rare to hear my name in his mouth, I loved the way he said it, so soft and caring. But upstairs I continued, establishing my watch on the rocking chair. When Charlie began to stir in the morning, I headed home to get my car, and drove to the Swan residence to reestablish the routine of me picking up Edward and Alice for school.

We continued on like this for the rest of the week, with Edward in the backseat, usually silent or providing monosyllabic responses as Alice filled the car with conversational fluff. On Wednesday, I studied math with Alice in the living room as Edward worked on an English paper, and Charlie invited me to come to dinner on Friday night, which I accepted.

"I'd love to join you, Chief Swan. Is there anything I can bring?" I offered, knowing Charlie would just brush me off gruffly. Charlie walked to the living room to return to his baseball game, and I turned to see Edward looking at me questioningly, brows pulled together. I responded with one of his signature shrugs, and returned back to the math problem that Alice was struggling with.

On Friday, I didn't bother to drop Alice and Edward off and go home, I just followed them in, excited to spend the afternoon with Edward. However, before I could even place my bag on the counter, Alice had wrapped her hand around my wrist, trying to pull me upstairs.

"Come help me pick out my outfits for next weekend!" I allowed her to move me, not wanting to get in the way of the ball of energy that was Alice Masen. Edward didn't even glance up from his place at the kitchen table.

As Alice pulled outfit after outfit out of her closet, I thought about the chasm that had seemed to form between me and Edward. Since Sunday night, he had barely said seven words to me despite my effort. I tried to strike up a conversation with him during lunch and before Biology class, but he seemed to be in his own world. I wasn't sure why.

Before Edward knew, we had been getting along well, our relationship progressing as we went on a date and held hands and even kissed. But now that he knew, no matter how well he seemingly took it, he had been distant and withdrawn, and I was worried.

Alice noticed I wasn't really paying attention to all the clothes she was showing me, and waved her hand in front of my face, a bright smile on her face. I wondered why Alice seemed so well adjusted while Edward was dealing with so many mental health issues.

"Earth to Bella! You still in there?" Alice joked, holding up two ensembles for me to judge.

"You'd look better in the blue dress," I offered. She accepted my answer and continued on her whirlwind tear through her closet, carrying on a one-sided conversation about the merits of the Glass-Steagall Act and its impact on Wall Street.

Eventually, I heard Edward start moving downstairs, rifling through the refrigerator and turning on the stove. Clearly, he would be the one cooking dinner for us tonight, and I was curious to know if he was a good cook.

"I'll be back in a second!" Alice called as she danced out of her room, first heading to the bathroom, then downstairs. Her room was a complete disaster, and I looked around, surveying the damage. As I began to fold some of the tops that had been discarded on the floor, I heard Edward's distinctive shuffle as he made his way upstairs. I did my best to act nonchalant as he appeared in the doorway, leaning on the door jam and staring at me.

"I d-didn't think y-you could e-e-eat f-food," Edward said. This was the first time we had been truly alone in several days, and I found myself as nervous as a teenage girl in a bedroom with her love.

"You could eat dirt if you wanted to, couldn't you? It's not pleasant, but I can eat it," I explained. He didn't look impressed.

"Th-that's absurd. You sh-shouldn't have t-t-to eat if i-it's uncomfortable. Why d-d-did y-you accept Charlie's i-invitation?" I was momentarily distracted from his questioning by the cling of his light sweater to his torso. A few weeks of consistent eating and a few night's rest and he was starting to gain weight and fill out, and he looked good. Too good.

"I wanted to spend time with you," I shrugged, "And Alice just told me that you would both be busy all weekend, so I figured I needed to get my fill of you now." I smiled at my own little joke, knowing that I would never be satiated. I began to move quickly around the room, putting the clothes that Alice had discarded away. It was so easy to not hide my nature around him now that he knew.

Alice had said they would be busy over the weekend. They had "doctor's" appointments Saturday and Sunday, which I took to mean back-to-back therapy sessions, and they would be on the reservation on Saturday night. On that point, I was uncomfortable, but I knew that no Quileute boy had yet to phase, so Edward being over the boundary line by himself was relatively safe, no matter how uncomfortable I was with it.

"Why d-do your e-e-eyes ch-change c-color?" He changed the subject quickly, making another keen observation. I knew he had noticed, how could he not have with how often I stared at him. Other humans, while admiring the beauty of my family, tended to look down quickly when we returned their stares. They shied away, blocking the details of our appearances in an instinctive endeavor to keep themselves from understanding. Ignorance was bliss to the human mind, and most humans had instincts that sought to protect them from us. Not my Edward, though. He was too fearless, too accepting. It was as if the entire universe was created so that he could be here.

I wasn't sure how to answer the question without scaring him. I was worried that any moment, the reality of what I was would hit him, and he would run away from me, screaming in terror. Especially with an answer related to drinking blood and killing things.

"I think this a conversation best suited for another time, and another place," I said honestly, trying to avoid answering the question. He accepted my evasive response, nodding, but not leaving his place in the doorway. I had finished cleaning Alice's room, and was now just standing in her room, not able to leave because he was blocking the door.

"Alice a-and I have th-th-therapy th-this w-weekend," Edward finally said, breaking the somehow awkward silence that hung in the room.

"I had figured. I think it's incredibly admirable for you and Alice to be so responsible in taking charge of your own health," My answer was honest but also diplomatic, so as to not trigger my fragile mate. He finally met my gaze and gave me a rare, small, crooked smile. I wished to hold him in my arms and make him smile and laugh for the rest of eternity. He was so beautiful when he smiled it almost hurt to look at him, like staring into the sun felt for humans.

"Dinner's ready!" Alice called from downstairs, breaking the spell, Edward's smile fading from his face, replaced by his usual hard-to-read expression. We walked downstairs together, and I took my place at Edward's right at the table, sitting close enough to him to feel the heat emanating from his warm body. Our feet touched under the table, just a light touch through both of our shoes, but I relished the contact I had with him, as I hadn't held him since that heartbreaking night in his room when he broke down.

Edward studied me as I cut up the slab of meat in front of me, placing each small bite and chewing. I felt the chunks of masticated food slide down my throat, settling uncomfortably in my stomach. Disgusting.

"Wow, Bella, you like your meat rare, huh?" Charlie asked, a little laugh in his comment. I looked down and noticed that there was blood running down the plate, and my steak was far redder than anyone else's. Edward. He was so sweet and thoughtful, thinking that perhaps a rare steak would be easier to tolerate.

"If only it were still mooing!" I joked, sneaking a glance at Edward, who was looking at his plate but had that beautiful smile back on his face. Alice and Charlie began talking about NASCAR and its engaging aspect, but I was happy to just sit next to my Edward, soaking up the rays of his presence.

"I'm not sure the truck is running well enough for a trip to Port Angeles tomorrow," Alice commented, prompting Charlie to sigh.

"Well maybe I can see if Jake'll come by to look at it in the morning, but I need to work tomorrow." Alice's gaze snapped to mine, prompting me to offer my services.

"I was planning on going to Port Angeles tomorrow anyways to get a few books. I'd be happy to drive you two, if you don't mind." Alice squealed in excitement, "But my sister is a skilled mechanic, so I could see if she would stop by tomorrow morning if that's what you would prefer?"

"No way, if you take us to Port Angeles that means shopping," Alice interrupted Charlie, whom I was sure was about to express surprise at the fact that the goddess Rosalie Hale knows how to fix cars. I internally groaned. I had just gone shopping with Rose the prior weekend, and it really wasn't a hobby I particularly cared for, especially when I could just buy clothes online now.

"I thought you had a doctor's appointment," I tried to make an excuse for not shopping with Alice, reminding her why she needed to be in Port Angeles. She stood up, collecting plates, and waved her hand in the air to brush me off.

"It's Edward's appointment tomorrow, I was just gonna go with him, so we'll have a couple hours to hit the shops!" I audibly sighed, picking up the cups and getting up to deposit them in the sink.

"Y-you can s-s-say no to h-her," Edward murmured, following me to the sink.

"Because she really seems like the type of person to take no for an answer," I snorted, "Besides, I don't mind. I like driving, and this means I can spend time with you." Slowly, so he could clearly see my intentions, I reached my hand out to his. Our fingers threaded together naturally, as if my hand was designed to fit into his, a spark of energy passing between us, as if the universe were saying, 'This is it. This is right.'

We stood there, connected by our hands for a few minutes until I heard Charlie start to head to the kitchen, likely to get another beer. I squeezed his hand lightly, careful to apply only the necessary pressure, and turned back to the dishes in the sink that required my attention. Edward stood next to me, drying the dishes that I handed him and putting them away, always helpful and kind.

"I'll see you soon," I called as I left, my words having a double meaning for Edward, who smiled and stood in the doorway until I drove out of his sight.

No one was home when I arrived, likely out either hunting or searching for the intruding nomads I had told them about. I changed quickly and ran back to Edward, who had left the window open as a clear invitation for me to let myself in.

From my spot in Alice's room, I could hear Edward's restless sleep as he moved constantly, never quite fully asleep until very late in the morning. Alice slept like the dead, never moving, sleeping heavily as she always did. Such polar opposites they were, even as twins, though I supposed that was the argument for nature over nurture.

Rose was sitting in the garage when I returned home in the morning to fetch my car, flipping through a car magazine, my car taken apart in front of her. Various parts were strewn about, and the entire engine had been deconstructed and was laying out in front of the car.

"I need to use my car, Rose." I was frustrated with her for completely destroying my car without even asking, and for not even working on it after she had taken it apart. She was just lounging around looking at a magazine rather than actually working, as if time was not a tangible concept. Though, for us, time had never been important or urgent, we had so much of it.

"I'm trying to figure out how to add a continuous nitrous oxide system to make the car faster, and I figured that since you're least attached to your car, it would be the guinea pig," Rose didn't even glance up from her magazine. I felt anger bubble up, frustrated at her hallmark selfishness that made Rosalie Hale, Rosalie Hale.

"I need my car, Rose," I repeated, frustration seeping into my voice. She glanced up, brow cocked. I was not typically one who was easy to anger, but where Edward was concerned, my emotions were untamable, and I needed to get over to the Swan house to pick them up in time.

"Woah, Bells, don't get your panties in a bunch, Rosie'll fix it up," Emmett lumbered in, bequeathing his mate with a soft kiss on the crown of her head, because that was just the luxury they had, with easy touches and kisses and not having to second guess every action they made in regards to the other.

"That's not my point. I use my car quite often now, with Edward, and I would like some consideration before my possessions are tampered with. And it's not just that. You two left me alone to go screw in the middle of the day when Edward wasn't there, so I was alone. You're both so in your own world, but I would just like a little empathy here!" My voice rose with each word until I was basically yelling, anger uncontrollable now. Emmett threw his hands up in surrender, but Rose was still seated, eyes fixed on her stupid magazine as if she hadn't heard a word I had said.

"For God's sakes, Rosalie, can you put the goddamn magazine down and look at me when I'm talking to you!" She actually rolled her eyes in response, nonchalantly flipping to the next page. Classic Rose.

"You're not talking to me, you're yelling at me."

That was my breaking point. A growl ripped through my chest, and I ran at her in a rare show of violence, especially against my own sister. Emmett caught me before I even reached her, though, and threw me out of the garage, away from Rose.

The mere action of being thrown was enough to heighten my anger. I landed easily on my feet in the gravel, the propulsion sliding me backwards before I ran back at Emmett, a rather stupid decision. If Rose had brought her beauty into this existence, Emmett had brought his strength. The only vampire I knew who could rival him was Felix in the Volturi. Or a newborn. But certainly not myself, and our fight was over before it could even begin, with me pinned on my back, Emmett holding me down.

"Calm down, girlie. I mean, goodness gracious. You know Rose, that's how she's always been." Rose had gotten up to watch my fruitless attempt to wrestle her husband, and had her arms crossed disapprovingly as she surveyed the damage our 3 second fight had on the front yard.

"While you were carrying on with this foolishness, I put your car back together," Rose said dryly. I felt sheepish, embarrassed. Only very rarely did I engage in any act of aggression, and it was usually then in jest. Rose held up the keys for me to take, and I grabbed them and headed to my car, head down in shame. I really couldn't believe my actions. I was the calm, level-headed one, especially compared to Rose and Emmett. Edward was awakening all these new feelings, thawing my frozen psyche, and I was learning that not all my newfound emotions were constructive or warm.

"Listen to the engine carefully. I believe I correctly modified the nitrous oxide dispenser, but if too much is injected, the engine could explode," Rose said matter-of-factly, as if I wouldn't be carrying precious cargo. I swallowed my anger, though, not wanting a replay of what had just transpired in case I lost control again.

Rose had never truly bother me before. I knew of and accepted her personality traits because I had witnessed first-hand what had happened to her. Back in 1933, Esme, Carlisle, and I were living in Rochester, NY, with myself posing as Esme's younger sister. I was accompanying Carlisle home from a late shift at the hospital, where we strolled the streets, discussing human foreign relations and the recent rise of a new leader in Germany. We never rushed home, enjoying the night before us, and savoring each other's company as we had a third, wonderful member after centuries of it being just me and Carlisle.

That night was different, though. Blood and fear clung in the air, and we had run as fast as we could towards the source. A beautiful young woman was battered, in tattered clothes, left on the street to die. And there was something, something in her face that reminded me so much of my younger sister. They had the same clear, strong presence, similar noses, I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I felt a sense of urgency that made me feel the need to bring her into this life without her consent.

I knew her vanity came from a place of insecurity, as she had been beaten and defiled by several men moments before she changed. I knew her selfishness was a defense mechanism that she had developed because of her trauma. And I knew better than to be mad at her, because I accepted her for who she was the moment I created her, it was an intimate bond between creator and progeny, and we had always been close.

But Rose also didn't know what it felt like to be alone, nor did Esme or Emmett. Rose was alone for a mere two years, and the first thing Esme and Emmett saw with their vampiric eyes was their respective mates. And they had certainly never had to abstain from touching or holding or loving their mates.

I would have to spend time with Carlisle eventually. We had rarely gone so long without having some kind of discussion, no matter how shallow, but I was never at home anymore as Edward required my attention and deserved my devotion.

The car truly was faster, though. I had to give Rose credit where credit was due. I was going fifteen miles an hour faster than my car was usually able to go, and I wasn't even pushing it as I was driving through the outskirts of Forks. This car rode smoothly, so I could probably push it on the highway to Port Angeles without Edward or Alice even noticing.

I was exactly on time to pick up Edward and Alice thanks to Rose's tinkering, making me feel even worse about our altercation. Alice slipped into the backseat, leaving Edward next to me in the front. Alice reached over and picked a stick out of my hair, which I hadn't even noticed had been stuck in my messy hair, my frustration distracting me from fixing myself after Emmett had thrown me on the ground.

"Emmett and I got in a fight," I laughed, taking the stick from her hand and tossing it out the window before backing up and pulling out.

"B-But h-he's huge!" Edward exclaimed, looking over at me with great concern in his verdant eyes. I couldn't help but fall into those emerald eyes, their depth was dazzling and made me feel like I was drowning but I didn't want to swim away.

"W-Watch the r-r-road!" I chuckled but pulled my gaze from him with great difficulty, instead choosing to admire the eclectic foliage and how the color compared to his eyes. All the forests in the world were dull in comparison.

I offered the auxiliary cord to Alice after she complained thrice about the soft classical music CD I had playing, allowing her to plug her iPod in and blast some bubblegum pop that their generation was so fond of. As some upbeat musician sang about happiness, I couldn't help but feel infectiously good, and that emboldened me to move my hand from the gear shift to Edward's hand, which was propped on the edge of his leg, as close to me as he could get without actually touching me. I took that as a nonverbal cue of consent, and threaded my fingers through his. With Alice loudly chanting the lyrics behind us, Edward's hand in mine, and a car speeding almost as fast as I could run, I couldn't imagine being any happier.

But that's when I learned of Edward's true feelings for me.

Sorry, another chapter that's kind of all over the place. Would you be surprised to know I have all of these chapters planned in advance?