Song for Lovers- Ellery
La Fleur Que Tu M'avais Jetée- Bizet (Carmen)
Rhapsody in Blue- Goerge Gershwin
Our drive was quiet. Edward held my hand on his thigh, the fingers of his other hand running up and down my forearm.
"You can't imagine how good that feels," I whispered, his fingertips leaving trails of flames. I didn't know if he heard me.
"Wh-What's th-th-this?" he asked, lingering on the crescent bite on the inside of my wrist. I was surprised he could see it, faded and centuries old as it was.
"The bite from when I was turned." I looked down at the raised white skin, like a moon on my arm. The vampire who turned me had never done it before, and hadn't known to seal the bite with venom to prevent scarring. I had never minded the reminder of the eighty-one horrific hours of concentrated, searing agony, but now I actually liked it. Every moment of my existence had been worth getting to Edward.
"Did it h-hurt?" He massaged the mark with his thumb, and I wondered if he could feel the swell of the scar.
"It's unbelievably excruciating," I said honestly, peering over at him to gauge his reaction, but he just looked deep in thought still.
It was drizzling when I pulled up to the house, the humidity in the air making Edward's scent cloying in the warm car. I sat, waiting to follow Edward's lead, but he was silent, eyes fixed upon our entwined fingers on his lap.
"Do you want me to come in?" I asked. Alice was inside ordering pizza, which meant eating with the whole family, which meant I couldn't escape at least a few bites of food. Edward knew I didn't eat, and I had more or less given up the façade around Alice, but Chief Swan was sure to notice.
Edward nodded, his hand trembling in mine. I squeezed it lightly, then ran around the car to get his door, not bothering to conceal my speed with no one around.
"Hey Edward, have a nice time with Emmett?" Charlie asked, lounging on the couch with a beer, Alice beside him, staring at us knowingly. She seemed pensive, perhaps a little concerned. I wondered if Edward had planned to tell me everything, and if he had told Alice considering their stories were so linked.
Edward mumbled an affirmation and pulled me to the kitchen with him to get a soda, his hands never leaving my body, always holding my hand, my waist, the small of my back as he ushered me to the small living room.
He pulled me down on the love seat with him, holding me to his side. I stole a glance at Charlie, but he didn't seem to notice anything amiss, nor did he seem to mind our closeness. I wasn't sure if the parental protectiveness he felt with Alice extended to Edward as well, gender norms being what they are. When he didn't bat an eye, I folded my legs under me and tucked myself into Edward's side, resting my head against his chest so the beat of his heart reverberated through my skull.
It was as if we were in reverse from our position throughout the night before, Edward stroking my hair as I laid on him. And he seemed to be experiencing how I felt constantly, with a desperation to be near me, to always be touching.
"Pizza's here!" Alice announced, springing off the couch and dancing into the kitchen to prepare plates. I lifted my head off Alice's chest. Had I been so consumed in Edward's heart beat that I hadn't heard a car? No, I was right. A car had only just pulled onto the street, and there was no way Alice could possibly here it.
It was the pizza delivery person in the unfamiliar car, and Alice opened the door just as his fist made contact with the wood, a smile on her face and exact change plus tip in her hand.
I normally brushed Alice's oddities aside, accepting her as a strange girl with a difficult past who had maybe developed certain eccentric habits- such as her fashion sense- as coping mechanisms. But this was a bit beyond telling us what the weather would be like, or anticipating a question in class.
Alice sat the pizza box on the coffee table in the living room, and Charlie plated two slices of pizza and passed them to Edward. I intercepted, reaching out to get the plates so Edward wouldn't have to move.
Edward ate most of our food, though when Charlie's eyes flickered over to us, Edward held a slice of pizza to my mouth for me to take a small bite.
It was disgusting, the melting cheese sliding down my throat and the greasy lump sitting in my stomach, but there was something very tender and intimate about Edward feeding me. He seemed to enjoy it, his pupils dilating and his heart pumping when I wrapped my mouth around the food. I suspected, maybe, that it gave him some control in the situation.
The time came and went for me to go home. Charlie was snoring on the couch, and Alice had already cleaned up the plates and retired to her room upstairs. Edward yawned softly into my hair, and I knew he must have been exhausted after getting only a few hours the night before.
"Bed time," I announced quietly so as to not disturb Charlie. Edward wrapped his arms around me, trying to keep me next to him on the love seat.
"D-Don't leave," he begged, and the ache that had been building in my empty chest seemed to intensify, like a deepening chasm.
"Oh, I won't leave you, Edward," I promised, letting him hold me to his chest. He was so warm, so good- truly the sun, the center of my universe. "Let me call Esme so she can come get my car. I won't leave your side."
I slipped my feet out from under my body and lifted Edward up with me, a light weight I carried by holding him around his waist. He let me hold him up, and I felt the sluggishness of his steps as we walked to the kitchen phone.
"Esme," I greeted when my mother's voice answered the call, "Would you please pick up my car from the Swan residence?"
"Of course, dear, I was wondering if we would see you again tonight, and now I know the answer. Is Edward alright?" Kindness seeped through the line.
"Everything is okay. Thank you, Mom." I rarely called her mom, though that was truly what I saw her as. When I did address her as such, I knew it made her incredibly joyous, an emotion I heard in her response.
"I love you, dear."
"Love you, too. Good night." I hung the phone back up on its place on the wall, and half-carried Edward to bed.
He seemed to have lost the embarrassment he felt so intensely earlier in the day. I closed the door behind us and turned around to see Edward pulling Carlisle's shirt off in that delicious way boys do- pulling up from the collar so the shirt came off right-side-in.
I had seen Edward nude already that day, but this gave me a moment to catalogue the details of his body. He was slim but still defined, a slight smattering of reddish hair dusted across his pectorals. What drew my attention was the scars.
There were lines across his chest, seemingly from cuts of some kind, and a few round red marks from cigarette burns. I shifted my gaze to the floor as Edward slipped the jeans off and donned his signature grey sweatpants, but I also needed a moment to compose myself.
That anyone could harm his beautiful body and deeply scar his soul… A snarl tore through my throat. I would rip them limb from limb, I would torture them for eternity, I would do all the sadistic things I watched the Volturi inflict during my time with them.
He should be untouched and flawless, as he deserved to be. His chest should be smooth and free his scars. He shouldn't need to cry and vent. He should have been a happy, normal teenage boy who would go on to a good college, meet a sweet, faceless girl, marry her and start a family… That was what he deserved- sunlight, fulfilment; someone to be his partner, his equal in life and beauty.
"Bella?" Edward called for me, snapping me out of my spiral of self-doubt and anger. My gaze shifted from my feet to Edward, who was laying on his bed, covers pushed to his feet. He was still without a shirt, his arms open and waiting for me to lay with him.
He looked worried, his dark brows pulled together so a little v formed at the bridge of his nose. I slid into the small little twin bed, careful to lay on the very edge so as to not take up too much room. The springs creaked under my weight when I shifted the sheets and blanket up, trying to tuck it around Edward. He had forgone a shirt, so I had to do something to protect him from the cold of my skin.
He threw the blanket off and slide one arm around my waist. I noticed a slight change in pressure from his hand and figured that he might be trying to pull me closer to him, so I slide up next to him so my face was just inches from his throat. I could see the pulsing of his jugular- a soft thump, thump of the elixir of his life.
His held me to him, his hand slipping under my shirt to rest on the bare skin of the small of my back.
"Y-Your hearing i-is g-g-good, r-right?" He asked, his voice thick and rough. I wondered if crying all night and day had caused soreness, but I couldn't possibly pull away to get him a glass of water or a cup of tea.
"Yes, we have excellent hearing," I confirmed, my cool breathe fanning over his bare chest. I could see his skin raising in piloerection along his clavicle.
"So y-you c-can hear a-anything in Alice's room, r-right?"
"I can hear her every single breath," I confirmed, "For example, right now she's…" I took a moment to focus on what she was doing, writing something on a piece of paper. It took me a second to discern the scratching of pencil on paper. "She's doing her math homework."
"W-Will you stay w-with me, then?" He whispered, his voice breaking. I placed my hand on his arm and let him cling to me.
"I'll be here for as long as you want me," I promised.
He settled in, sliding his other arm under his pillow and pressing my body to his with the hand that rested on my back. I slipped the blanket back up to cover both of us and hopefully preserve some of his body heat. I knew humans tended to cool down as they slept, and I didn't want to make it even worse.
His breathing evened out, and I thought he was asleep, but then he sighed and whispered, "Forever". Whether he was talking in his sleep, or answering my vow, I wasn't sure. But I felt the hope begin to build.
When I first met Edward, I had just assumed that when the time came, I would change him. Carlisle and Rose had both met their mates when they were still human, and the connection is so instantaneous that the ultimate resolution seems obvious- immortality.
But the more I had gotten to know Edward, to understand his life, the less I took for granted. He had been deprived of so much throughout his childhood, perhaps he would want to live out a normal human life- build something for himself that he hadn't gotten to do as a child. He was so good, so pure, so self-sacrificing that he would completely push aside what he wanted to do what's best for his sister. I didn't want to make him feel forced into an existence of thirst and impermanence just to please me.
But maybe, just maybe, he needed me just half as much as I needed him. Maybe he would want to join me in forever.
I was overwhelmed. Edward's scent was thick in the air, trapped in the blanket over our bodies. My mouth was right at his neck. My throat and body were on fire, the only thing protecting me from the heat of his body was my flimsy blouse. I tried to center myself, to resist doing anything.
Logically, I knew I couldn't change Edward. Of course, I was physically capable. I had had an easier time changing Rose than Carlisle had changing Esme and Emmett, and though bloodlust was always there, a constant dull ache in my throat, I would never be able to actually harm Edward.
But Edward wasn't ready.
Rose was still working through her trauma seventy years later because I made her a vampire before she changed as a human. Vampires are such unchanging, constant creatures that Rose would never be able to truly move past the abuse she endured, and I couldn't subject Edward to the same tortured existence.
But his smell. He was so tantalizing, so enticing.
"Bella," he sighed in his sleep, and I regained my composure. He was dreaming about me? I drew back a bit, my eyes shifting from his throat to his face.
He was so beautiful it hurt. If there was a God, he had sent me an angel.
His lavender eyelids fluttered with a dream, thick lashes like butterfly wings casting shadows over his high cheekbones. I wished I could ask him what he was dreaming of. He consumed my every thought, I only hoped that I was featured in his dreams.
He slept long and deeply, waking just before dawn. He hadn't moved much at all throughout the night, only adjusting his pillow twice, and he shifted his hand from my back to my waist.
"Good morning," I greeted softly, unsure if he was actually awake or just going to fall asleep again.
"You s-stayed!" He exclaimed, grinning the crooked smile I adored and crushing me to his chest.
"Of course," I laughed, enjoying the feeling of my face pressed against his bare chest.
"I n-need t-to shower," he sighed, releasing me hesitantly. I pulled him out of bed with me, hoisting him to his feet though I stayed perched on the corner of the mattress. It gave me a chance to admire how his broader shoulders narrowed to his waist and appreciate the soft sinew of muscle.
Edward shuffled up the stairs, school clothes in hand, just as I heard the soft purr of my engine pull into the driveway. I checked to make sure both Charlie and Alice were still asleep- they were- then left Edward's room to check outside.
Esme was getting out of the car, folded jeans and a shirt in hand.
"I didn't know if you'd want to come home," she shrugged, handing me the keys and my clothing.
"Thank you, Mom," I pulled Esme in for a hug, unbelievably grateful for how supportive my family was being. I had broken our most sacred law and had almost completely abandoned them, but they never seriously complained, even as my mood swung like a pendulum and my defensive grew.
Esme held me for a minute, then released me back inside before checking for watchful neighbors and running into the trees.
I changed in the foyer and deposited my worn clothes back in my car, returning inside to forage for an edible breakfast just as Edward walked downstairs.
I loved him post-shower, his hair dark and smoothed down, his skin a blossoming pink from the heated water. Tantalizingly, dangerously, delicious.
He noticed my change of clothes when he joined me in the kitchen, his arms wrapping around my waist as he hugged me from behind.
"I didn't leave," I held my hands up to signal my innocence, "Esme dropped my car off and brought fresh clothes."
I moved through the kitchen, sifting through flour and sugar to prepare homemade pancakes. Esme had walked me through staple human recipes like pancakes, eggs, how to cook meat and pasta. My cooking never turned out quite like hers, but she assured me that with practice I would improve. And it seemed I would certainly get a great deal of practice.
I heard Charlie awaken and begin his morning routine. I wasn't sure if Edward wanted Charlie to see us like this, with him wrapped around me, but after the night before it seemed he was more comfortable with open displays of affection.
Besides, I was enjoying mixing the batter with Edward arms around my waist, humming softly into my ear and swaying us to the melody. It was like a simple dance.
Charlie came downstairs just as I was flipping the first batch of pancakes, his brows rising in surprise- I usually only picked Edward and Alice up for school, and Charlie tended to leave early for work so we didn't cross paths in the mornings.
"'Morning, kids," he greeted, starting a pot of coffee. Edward released me from his hold, but kept one hand on the small of my back as I plated the food. Charlie reached around me to get his coffee mug from next to the stove.
"Sorry," I apologized, "I didn't mean to commandeer your kitchen, I just got an early start this morning and figured I'd make a nice breakfast."
"Oh, no, it looks great, Bella. You didn't have to do this." I handed Charlie a plate with three oval pancakes- Esme's always came out as near-perfect circles, "Thanks."
Edward took his seat next to Charlie at the little kitchen table with a stack of pancakes on his plate and a glass of milk in his hand. I turned the stove off, leaving another few pancakes for Alice, and slid in her chair next to Edward.
Edward leaned towards me, and I knew instinctively that he wanted to hold me, but both of his hands were occupied with eating utensils. I reached under the table and caught his bouncing leg, resting my hand just above his knee. Edward coughed, and his heart pounded, but I didn't know why. My grip was very gentle, I was always hyper-aware of my strength around Edward. Charlie's eyes flickered over to us before he continued reading the morning paper.
"Would you mind if I read this?" I asked Charlie, pointing at the discarded paper in the middle of the table.
"By all means," he said, handing me the paper.
I scanned through until I saw the Seattle section. More murders, blatantly vampiric. If it wasn't for Edward, we would have gone already to disband or destroy the wayward vampires. But if it wasn't for Edward, it also wouldn't be so dangerous to have the attention of the Volturi. It was a most conflicting catch-22.
Alice danced downstairs looking like she had just sashayed off a runway wearing one of the dresses I bought her during our shopping trips, tights, and thick boots. Alice and Rose would get along nicely if Rose made an ounce of effort in being civil towards a human that wasn't Edward.
"Pancakes!" Alice exclaimed, forgoing a greeting for picking up a pancake with her hand, right out of the pan, and taking a bite. "Thank you, Bella!"
Edward slid his hand under mine and gathered his plate, taking me with him to deposit it in the sink.
"You kids go on to school, I'll clean up," Charlie offered, still working on his plate. We accepted and left for school.
Edward was reluctant to go without my touch throughout the day. I didn't know why- if maybe I brought him some comfort, if he needed reassurance after Saturday night? I was more than happy to acquiesce, my body constantly yearning for him.
In Government class, I was forced to write with my left hand- it didn't make much of a difference as vampires are ambidextrous, but we do tend to write with our traditionally dominant hand- because Edward didn't want to relinquish my right hand.
Lunch was much the same, with Edward holding me to him, an arm around my shoulder. Occasionally, he would brush his fingers along the side of my neck, leaving a trail of fire and longing behind.
Biology was… terrifying. I almost jumped him right there in front of twenty-five children and our distracted substitute.
Mr. Banner was out sick for the day, and the substitute pulled in an outdated television in a metal frame. He closed the windows, shut the lights off, and left us with a PBS video.
I felt the air crackle around us, like it was electrified. I saw the hair on Edward's arm raise, and my skin felt like it was on fire, submerged in the heat of his skin. Edward's heart was beating fast, the only solace, the only relief from the pull came through our entwined fingers on the cool lab desk.
I shifted my chair closer to him, careful not to make any noise or attract any attention, though I was certain no one in the room could see us in the darkness. Our knees touched underneath the desk and though our skin was separated by two layers of jeans- both his and mine- I felt the electric current almost shock me.
What was this phenomenon? We had been in the dark together before. In fact, we were just lying in the dark all night, pressed against each other on Edward's small bed. Was it because we weren't able to touch each other beyond the innocent holding of hands? Was it because others were watching on, an element of forbiddeness making our touch all the more tantalizing?
Whatever it was, it was difficult to resist crawling into Edward's lap and making us one.
I sighed when the hour ended and the lights switched on- both relieved to not have to fight my instincts and sad that the electricity subsided.
"Th-that w-was interesting," Edward murmured, slinging his bag over his shoulder.
I agreed, wondering to what degree he felt the current in the dark, and if he had ever experienced such a thing before, and followed him out the hall.
"Hey, Em," I greeted my brother outside of Edward's Spanish class. It was a class I was surprised they shared since it was mostly seniors like Emmett, but he told me Edward had quite an ear for the language. Considering his adeptness at piano and musicality's link to learning languages and excelling in other subjects, I shouldn't have been surprised. Edward was naturally gifted at most of the things I saw him attempt.
Emmett ruffled my hair and threw his arm around Edward, pulling him from me and into their classroom. It made me nervous to have the two of them together- it had since I first met Edward. Emmett could be callous and usually lacked a filter, and I didn't want him to say anything that would upset Edward. I hoped that Emmett had the good sense to not mention anything that he heard or saw on Saturday evening, trying to listen but losing track of the conversations with the distance to my gym class.
Gym felt long. It was always our most difficult class- tempering our movements and controlling our strength and speed did not come naturally. I fumbled my way through the badminton game and left the moment the bell rang, meeting Edward at his classroom door before he even walked out.
"H-How old is Emmett?" Edward asked on our way to the car, looking around for Alice.
"Physically, mentally, or literally? He was born in nineteen fifteen, changed when he was twenty human years old, but he usually acts like a prepubescent boy." Emmett mocked outrage from the other side of the parking lot, and Rose playfully held him back as he tried to walk over to confront me. "Why?"
Edward just shrugged, though I was deeply frustrated. If Emmett had said anything untoward, I would beat him up. He was bigger and stronger, but always went for the obvious attack, and I bested him more often than he'd like to admit.
We drove straight to Port Angeles from school, as we always did on Mondays and Wednesdays, for Alice's and Edward's therapy appointments.
I dropped Edward off for his session before heading to the shops with Alice. He was reluctant to let go of my hand, and reached out to brush an errant hair out of my face before closing the door behind him, running the ten feet from the car to the door to escape the torrential downpour.
"So Edward told you, huh?" Alice slid over the center console feet first to sit in the front seat Edward had just vacated.
"Yes, he did," I sighed, not needing to clarify what she meant. "I'm very sorry, Alice." I looked at her straight in the eyes- the green so similar to my Edward's- not bothering to glance at the street as I pulled into a parking space in front of her favorite clothing shop.
"It was really hard for him, telling you everything," Alice told me what I already knew, and I nodded my agreeance. We made no move to get out of the car.
Alice ran her fingers through her short black hair, an action which reminded me so much of her brother. "Edward got the brunt of it. I don't even remember a lot of our childhood, did he tell you that?" I shook my head, he did not tell me that, "Yeah, when James tried to kidnap me outside that foster home, he knocked me down and slammed my head on the pavement. I blacked out, and I don't remember much.
I know what James and Victoria look like. I kinda remember our parents, but to be fair not even Edward actually remembers them. But everything else is like a memory that I can't hold on to.
"For Edward, it's different. It's not like I don't struggle, but not remembering everything is advantage in this because Edward remembers everything. Every touch, every burn, every unkind word. It's why high school bullies don't really bother him- he's been through far, far worse." Alice looked at me pointedly, reminding me of my misstep in yelling at Jessica and Lauren in front of the whole school.
"But I think…" Alice trailed off, her eyes glassy as she looked behind me. I turned around, but there was nothing but the car parked next to us, "I think it will be different now. He'll be more open, and happier, too." Alice blinked rapidly, then shifted her gaze back to me. "Now, we don't have much time so let's go!" I followed Alice into the store with no argument, mulling over her words.
From what Edward had told me, he fielded most of the abuse- physical, sexual, and emotional- to protect Alice. He ran away and lived on the streets of Washington in the dead of winter, to protect Alice. That Alice couldn't remember much of it was a blessing for her, but I worried that it meant that Edward had no one to share the burden with.
It had taken him over an hour to tell me everything. Though my memory is, of course, flawless, his sobs as he fell apart in my arms would be seared into my psyche for my entire life.
I would rip James and Victoria to pieces if I ever met them.
Alice collected only two shopping bags worth of clothes before we headed back to the little medical plaza where their therapist's office was. Sooner or later, Alice would replace her entire wardrobe, and likely most of mine as well. It was just a matter of time before she started insisting on dressing me- I already knew she disliked my casual outfit choices.
Edward looked lighter as he strode out the building, trading one twin for the other as Alice walked in. As they passed each other, Edward stuck his hand in the air so his arm was parallel to the ground, pointing his index finger down. Alice stuck her hand up and used his finger to twirl herself forward, laughing all the way inside.
Edward approached with his mouth twisted up in a crooked grin. I wasn't used to this. He was almost always sullen and silent after therapy, and smiles were a rare commodity with my serious mate.
"How was it?" I asked casually, not wanting to press too hard.
"Fine," Edward shrugged, slipping his hand into mine. I drove out of the parking lot and down the street. We never went anywhere like Alice and I did, I just didn't want to eavesdrop on Alice. "I l-learned s-something today."
"And what might that be?" I asked, always curious about anything Edward did, said, thought…
"You love me," he declared, his smile widening and a gentle blush blossoming on his high cheekbones. I pulled off the road and looked over at him, grinning in return.
"I love you," I confirmed.
"I w-was w-worried you w-were gonna leave m-me." His voice was clear, and I understood why he had clung to me so desperately. He was trying to keep me with him, or trying to experience every moment he had left with me. I understood the feeling.
"I will never leave you," I vowed again, repeating the assurance I promised over and over on Saturday night.
"I think I s-see th-that now."
"I'll just have to prove it to you," I smiled back at him, and his blush grew, capillaries expanding down his neck. I realized that I knew exactly what his chest looked like. Something to fantasize over later…
The rest of the week was uneventful. Edward had seemed to even out, no longer desperate to touch me, but not pushing me away anymore either.
We spent the afternoons together, and I excused myself before dinner each night, returning home to my neglected family. I never stayed long, though, finding it impossible to be separated from Edward for very long. A dull ache formed in my chest, and I would begin to worry about Edward tripping down the stairs, or an errant vampire catching wind of our mingling scents and investigating…
I also had the privilege of laying with him each night, my assurance that I could hear everything in the room above us enough to comfort Edward. He liked laying on my for some reason, eschewing a pillow to rest his head on my chest and drape his body across mine. I was cold, hard, unyielding- the opposite of everything a young woman was meant to be.
Edward deserved more.
On Friday afternoon, Edward came over to the Cullen home, asking to use the piano again.
"I j-just w-want to practice," he said, and I sensed he was trying to assure me that he wouldn't be breaking down like the last time he had played. "M-My th-therapist said it would b-be good to have a c-creative o-outlet."
Of course I acquiesced, and we dropped Alice off at Angela Weber's for a project on our way home, Alice dismissing us by saying that Angela would drive her home.
"Hello, Edward! Can I get you anything to eat?" Esme greeted us in the foyer, smiling and overjoyed to have both of us in the house with her. Carlisle was home, too, and though Emmett and Rose were off galivanting through the forest, she loved having her family home.
"You're getting a welcome buffet and I don't even get a hello," I mock-complained to Edward, unable to conceal a smile, even in jest. Esme brushed me off, focusing back on Edward.
"I've been experimenting with a profiterole recipe, and I would love the input of someone who can actually eat it." Esme ushered Edward away from me and towards the kitchen. Carlisle appeared at my side.
"She likes him," he observed the obvious.
"Who couldn't love Edward?" A rhetorical question, of course. The answer was obvious.
"You're happier." Again, an obvious observation. Carlisle and I walked over to the kitchen, watching as Esme continued to place baked goods on a plate faster than Edward could eat them. I sincerely doubted she could bake something that didn't taste good, and Edward was enjoying the treats.
"At this moment in time, how could I not be." Edward glanced up at us, his verdant eyes sparkling as he chewed down another shapeless puff of dough. I watched as the food travelled down his esophagus, his Adam's apple bobbing, and I felt the impulsive urge to lick his neck.
"'At this moment in time'?" Carlisle quoted back to me. It was difficult to pull my eyes away from Edward to look at my father.
"Shall I list the countless things that can go wrong? The Volturi somehow finding out? Edward getting hit by a car? Or perhaps something more realistic, like Edward realizing that he wants more than I can give him?" I spoke quickly and softly so there was no way Edward could possibly hear, but he seemed to pick up on the intense exchange, his brows furrowing as he studied us. Esme tried to distract him with drink options.
"You're being ridiculous."
"Esme moved on and married after you first met her," I pointed out.
"That was entirely different. I was an adult, and she was my patient."
"Edward is sixteen, just like Esme was when you treated her. And I'm only two years younger than you, physically." I had given a great deal of thought on the similarities of our situations, though I don't think I could let Edward enter into a relationship like Esme's first marriage with that abusive monster. We hadn't known the full extent either, Carlisle only kept a casual eye on her as we stayed hidden in the Columbia area.
"You are a high school student, same as Edward. And you're actually dating and spending prolonged periods of time together. I met Esme for a few hours one afternoon." Carlisle's voice was unusually forceful, and Esme walked over, I thought to disperse our discussion or to ask us to move to where Edward wouldn't see us argue.
"And even then, he made such an impact on me. I never forgot him," Esme said instead, cupping Carlisle's cheek. He leaned in to her touch and they shared a meaningful moment. "And Carlisle is correct. This is not the same." Esme ended our disagreement.
I led Edward downstairs to the piano, and he paused in front of it, as if steeling himself against something.
"Do you want me to stay?" I asked, unsure if he wanted me there.
"Always," he patted the bench next to him, resuming our positions from the weekend prior. He slid his backpack off his shoulder and to the ground, rifling through it until he found the CD player and headphones in the front pocket. He slipped the headphones on and clicked the CD player on- a Brahms piece playing.
He listened to the first several notes, then paused the CD and attempted to imitate it on the keys.
He had a remarkable ear for the music. His fingers would stumble over the keys, but he quickly corrected himself, and once he played the song through, he could repeat it with no reference to the recorded version.
When I asked him if he read music and he said no, I resolved to ask Rose to teach him. She played, but she didn't have the same talent, raw as it was, as Edward. I could only imagine how excellent he would be with practice and time.
"C-Can you p-p-play?" he asked me, the reverberations of the final notes of the Schubert piece still vibrating within the piano as his fingers rested on the keys.
"I'm sure I could replicate your movements," I demonstrated, pressing the keys to mimic how he played the opening notes of Nocturnes, "But it's not the same." And it wasn't. When I played, it lacked the depth, the meaning that Edward was able to convey. Music is an innate talent, not something that one can be truly taught.
"I've a-a-always w-wanted to do this, b-but Alice was no g-good at playing," Edward looked excited, "F-Follow this." He played a simple tune with both hands on the lower octave of the piano, my right pinky only extending past middle C every several notes.
Once it was clear I had it, he began playing on the higher octave scales, a soft, happy tune I recognized from an 80s movie. We didn't get very far in the song before I was meant to change notes, and as he tried to direct me, I lost my place in the song.
Edward only needed one hand for his part, so his left hand drifted over to my half of the keys, moving my fingers with his so I could get a hold on the song.
It really wasn't a complicated song. I should have gotten it. But my fingers just weren't moving how he wanted them to, and I didn't have the ear for music to be able to pick up on where the song was going. That, and Edward's touch was wholly distracting.
Yeah, that was definitely it. Edward was the problem, not me.
"What am I g-g-going to do w-with you!" he groaned in exasperation, throwing his hands up after I continuously missed notes.
I couldn't hold it back, a laugh bubbling up from my chest. He looked so frustrated with me, taking this task far more seriously than I was, and tugged his hand through his hair before I saw his lips twinge upward, a dimple forming on his cheek from where he was trying to hold back a grin.
"I told you, I can't play the piano!" I laughed, and his smile widened, one side of his mouth pulling up further than the other.
"You're a g-g-good audience, th-though," he chuckled softly, leaning down to brush his lips against my cheek. I longed for more, but he straightened, pulling his face out of my reach, and continued on to another song.
I let him play for a few more pieces before insisting on food for the human, proud that I had become so good at remembering meal times.
"Esme and Carlisle are out, so we can stay in and I can cook? Or go out, if you wish?" I didn't mind either way, as long as I had my Edward at my side, I could be sitting in a sewer and be over the moon.
"D-Diner?" he asked tentatively, as if I would reject anything he wished to do.
"Diner it is!" I agreed, leading Edward away from the piano and out the front door. As I peered outside, an idea formed.
"Do you want to run?" I asked with a grin, remembering how exhilarating he found our quick run the day before. He looked out the window at the dark sky and light mist of rain.
"I'll get you a rain jacket."
"As l-l-long as you p-promise not to hit any t-trees!"
I was still laughing as I zipped Edward into one of Carlisle's jackets, flipping the hood up to cover his hair. He helped me shrug on my superfluous coat, I slung him across my back, and into the woods we went.
He laughed- a soft, velvety chuckle. I wasn't going very fast, but he was enjoying himself, truly having fun and letting loose. The rain was light, and the drops weren't really hitting us at all as I weaved around trees.
"Faster," he gasped, and I picked up the speed a little bit, my hair whipping behind me but hopefully not hitting Edward. His arms tightened around my neck.
We reached the edge of the brush next to the road, right across the street from the diner, and I let him slide down my back gracefully. He ran his fingers through his windblown hair, making it stand up even more than usual, and a smile was still plastered on his face.
"H-How fast were w-w-we g-going?" He threw an arm around my shoulder, and we emerged from the forest after I checked to make sure no one else was around to see us.
"About eighty miles an hour." Like I said, basically a jog.
"H-How fast c-can y-you go?"
"Everyone is a little different, and I'm definitely not the fastest, but my top speed is about one-twenty."
"Woah." He looked surprised, and opened the door to the warm little diner for me.
He immediately froze, but I wrapped my arm around his waist and led him forward. In the back booth sat Jessica, Mike, Tyler, and Lauren, gossiping as they usually did on Friday nights. I was usually right there next to them, holding my tea and half-listening to their human issues, but that seemed even more inconsequential than usual.
In the booth right next to them, though, was Alice and Angela, sitting across from one another with a big plate of fries between them.
"Edward! Bella!" Alice called out unnecessarily, waving us over. She jumped up and sat next to Angela, leaving the bench open for me to slide in, with Edward joining close next to me, our backs to Jessica's booth. Good thing, too, so Edward wouldn't have to see them watch us. Hopefully, they would know better than to say anything remotely offensive after I had set them straight weeks before.
"Hey, what are you two doing here?" I asked, ordering a coffee from the waitress that came over immediately.
"Oh, we were working on a project together today, with Lauren too. We decided to reward ourselves with a dinner out," Alice scooped a glob of ketchup on a fry and popped it in her mouth.
"Are you ready to order?" The waitress asked. Everyone got burgers, but I abstained. Alice and Angela had independently grown used to my not eating, and of course Edward knew why, so there was no point in eating just to regurgitate it later.
We let Angela and Alice tell us about their project- they were doing the same Constitution rewrite Edward and I had done for Government class, but Edward had left most of the writing to me and just outlined the ideas, so our project didn't take very long at all to complete.
"What have you two been up to all day?" Alice asked.
"Just hung out," I shrugged, looking over at Edward. He had scarfed down his burger and was cleaning the plate of fries. My hand was resting gently on his knee since he had no hands free, but his foot kept nudging closer to mine. It was more about being close to each other than anything else, and I wondered again if he felt the same pull towards me that I felt for him.
"Oh man, that sounds great," Angela sighed, "I would've rather done anything but homework on a Friday night."
"Did you have homework today that I let you neglect?" I turned to Edward accusingly, the mundanity of school completely slipping my mind, though it was incredibly important for Edward to complete.
"D-Did it already," he answered, followed by a yawn.
I had noticed that Edward was incredibly bright and well-rounded for his age. After all, we spent every day together in school and doing homework, and I had been around enough high school students to determine a baseline of intelligence. Wednesday, as we worked through the day's homework on the kitchen table at Charlie Swan's house, I had asked him if he knew why school came so easily.
"I-I had a lot o-of t-time to read… When I w-w-was on th-the s-street, you know. Th-The l-l-library w-was usually the only p-place I could go th-that w-was warm, and had a p-public bathroom. I th-think I r-read almost every b-book in the place, th-though," he smiled at the idea, but I couldn't return the feeling. So much of his knowledge came from running away to protect Alice, where he had nothing to do but to fill his days and nights with learning. It wasn't a gift, it was a tragedy.
He settled into my side, laying his head on my shoulder, and I looked down to see his eyes flutter closed, though he most certainly awake. Just resting.
I kissed the crown of his head, breathing in the scent of rain and sunshine from the tousles of his messy bronze hair.
"You guys are so cute together," Angela commented, obviously noticing the tender moment. I smiled and thanked her, leaning my head on his gently.
"Are you dating anyone, Ang?" I asked, smiling wider as she blushed and adjusted her glasses, though she shook her head no.
"Oh, c'mon! There's totally someone," Alice whispered, trying but failing to keep her voice down.
The waitress came by with the milkshakes every had ordered, and Edward sat up. I missed the light weight of his head on my shoulder, but his right arm moved over my shoulder, and he weaved his right hand with mine, tucking me into his side.
We were like the perfect picture from a quintessential eighties teen movie, all sitting around the booth with milkshakes and wholesome gossip. All Edward needed was a letterman jacket and I a beating heart and we would be the perfect pair to star in the film.
They became focused on their desserts, but Alice didn't let the topic go.
"Okay, fine! You know Ben? Ben Cheney?" She whispered. Of course, I knew exactly who she was talking about. He was a smart kid, dark hair, glasses. And a half foot shorter than Angela.
Alice squealed excitedly and turn to face Alice next to her. "Tell us everything!" Angela flushed brighter and shifted her weight uncomfortably, taking a long drink out of her chocolate shake.
"I just… he hasn't asked me out or anything. And I don't know if he'd like me, you know, I'm just so much taller than him and… ummm… I think people- guys specifically- get… intimidated…" She was totally flustered, though I understood the issue. Humans were always so caught up with the mundanity of the physical and superficial aspects of relationships.
"'S not s-s-so b-bad," Edward mumbled, his voice muffled with the cold of his milkshake, "B-Being w-with an in-intimidating woman." I felt the closest experience to a blush bloom through me, warmth spreading from my heart outward. His cheeks were a bright red, and I couldn't help but to laugh.
I had been considering myself as Edward's now. Everything I did revolved around Edward. I was the iron to his magnet, the moon to his planet. If I was the ocean, Edward was the tide, pushing and pulling me at will. Perhaps, just maybe, he considered himself mine as well.
"You should ask him out. It's the twenty-first century, after all!" Alice exclaimed, incredibly excited for a romantic scheme. Angela squirmed uncomfortably, her eyes darting to the booth behind us.
I knew they weren't actively talking about us- I would have heard any whisper no matter how quiet. I turned my head up to the left to look at Edward, but also to observe my old friends in my periphery.
Mike and Tyler had their backs to us, and they weren't talking about anything of consequence- mostly just about spring practice for professional football and some video game. Jessica and Lauren had been talking about prom, which was just weeks away, and the various accoutrements of their outfit options. But Lauren was grinning snidely at Angela, and I knew they had overheard some parts of our conversation.
It was then the door opened and the little bell above the hinge jingled, and a hush fell over the room. Emmett and Rose had entered the diner.