Another one (DJ Khaled voice)

Hot Sugar- Glass Animals

Heaven- FINNEAS

Time seemed to fly by at an unorthodox speed, even for me. Edward kept this schedule of time alone in the evenings- which I dutifully respected. If anything, it gave me the opportunity to hunt quickly, and spend time with my family that I had neglected for months. It seemed that Carlisle needed me, because Emmett had been repeatedly harassing him for believing in Lamarckism inheritance. Emmett seemed to think it was plainly obvious that the debunked theory of evolution was ridiculous and wrong, but it wasn't like we could have known any better at the time.

"Why are you even home, anyways," Emmett snarked, interrupting my yelling at him. Carlisle, at least, was calm and collected and tried to rationally explain how the thought behind early evolution had itself evolved. I tended to raise my voice- but in my defense, Emmett was being purposefully obtuse with the point of being annoying.

"Edward needed time alone," I said, and I knew that my frustration with Emmett had saturated my tone. I sounded more vicious and angry than I meant to, and Emmett seemed taken aback.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, immediately forgetting our argument. If there was one defining trait of Emmett's that I found beyond admirable, and also impossible for me to replicate, it was his ability to just move on.

I couldn't help but laugh. He seemed so concerned, and I jumped up to ruffle his dark curls playfully. "Everything is fine. I think he's working on something, or he and Alice needed to talk privately or something. I'm honestly not totally sure, but he asked for privacy and it's the least I could do."

"Privacy is tough to come by around these parts," Emmett agreed.

"Yeah, I know," I laughed, shooting him a pointed look. I had been privy to my fair share of explicit moments in his life, but he wasn't remotely embarrassed. If anything, Emmett looked a little proud, and I could see his shoulders roll back a fraction so he was standing a bit taller.

"But wait," Emmett said, arching a brow and staring me down, "What did he say specifically? Just that he needed privacy, no details?"

"Yeah?"

"Get out of here!" Emmett exclaimed, clapping his hands together loudly. Rose drifted in, drawn by the noise, and crossed her arms and stared at her husband appraisingly.

"What?" I asked, immediately suspicious that Emmett was in on something that I didn't know about.

"Ah, nothing," Emmett dismissed, shaking his head and smiling to himself so deeply that the dimples in his cheeks cratered.

"Seriously, what?" I asked, biting on my lip to hold back a growl. Unlike my brother, I couldn't just forget the argument we had been having just minutes before, and I despised feeling left out of something I was involved in.

"No, really, it's nothing," Emmett said, still laughing to himself.

"Alright then," I said, running up the stairs to the foyer and sliding on my raincoat. "I'll just go ask Edward."

"No, no," Emmett objected, running after me and grabbing my arm. "You were right. He's working on something, and he needs privacy to do it so just give the man a minute. Jeez, you're always so impatient," he groaned out the last sentence as I peeled his fingers off my forearm with force.

"You'd think, being so old, she'd be better at that," Rose commented dryly.

"I'm patient," I argued, but I shrugged the jacket up and hung it by the doorway anyways. Emmett was right, though it hurt to admit it. Either way, I was going to respect Edward's space, and there were seven minutes and fifty one seconds until I could head over to the Swan house.

"Yeah, maybe but Edward, but with literally no one else," Rose said, with Emmett nodding in agreement.

"That's simply untrue."

"Wanna bet?" Emmett said, bouncing on his heels, but before I could answer Rose began listing all the times I had been "significantly impatient"- her words- within the time she'd known me, starting off with when I changed her. I wanted to argue that reacting to her literally moments from death on the street wasn't an act of impatience, but Carlisle interrupted by adding his own examples from the time we'd been together before filling out the rest of our family, and I was at a loss.

It was a relief to escape the playful bombardment, and I could still hear Carlisle and Emmett swapping stories as I darted through the rain and back to Edward.

It was a little later than normal, but I found Edward upstairs. I jumped up to the sill of Alice's window, gripping the wood to hold my balance, and peeked in to check on them.

It was safe for me to go in. Alice was so deeply asleep she was near-snoring, and it was the most sound and peaceful I had seen her sleeping in weeks. Maybe even months. She wasn't tossing or turning, and her heart was beating at a slow, steady pace. But right next to her, laying on the floor with one arm behind his head, was Edward.

"Hey," I whispered, silently closing the window behind me and tiptoeing across the small room.

"Hi," he said softly, sitting up on the hardwood floor to kiss me softly, then turning to get up. "Come downstairs with me?"

"Of course," I said, and I followed behind him. Charlie was in bed already too, though he was awake and watching television from the small outdated set he had mounted on his bedroom wall. Edward closed the door, looking in on Alice's sleeping form one last time before following behind me down the stairs.

"Can I make you s-s-some tea?" he asked, pulling out a mug for himself. I accepted, and he poured water into a second one and popped it in the microwave.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"She's been having t-trouble s-s-sleeping," he said, though I already knew this was the case. I could hear her tossing and turning throughout the night, and her mood in the morning was always sour from the deprivation. "I think it h-helps if she knows th-that I'm t-there."

"I'm sure it does."

"Here," he said, handing me the steaming mug with a teabag steeping. I cupped it in both of my hands, absorbing the heat. "I don't want t-to s-s-sleep on the f-floor anymore."

"You shouldn't have to," I agreed.

"But I have t-to p-protect her," he said, brows knitted together as he looked down at his own tea. He discarded the bag of tealeaves and swirled the liquid around. I stuck one finger in his mug so the cold of my skin cooled the drink to what I gauged to be an acceptable temperature.

"Cold skin," I explained, pulling my finger out and wiping it on a dish towel. "I'm clean, don't worry."

"Thanks," he murmured, sipping at the tea.

"But Alice isn't in danger. I can hear everything that goes on within a few miles of here. Nothing is going to happen to her."

"But she d-doesn't know th-that," he said, looking down at the half-filled mug. "She n-needs t-to know that she's s-s-safe."

"I don't want you to have to sleep on the ground anymore," I begged. "It's not good for you. You don't deserve that."

Edward snorted derisively and gulped the last swallows of the tea down, leaving the mug in the sink.

"You disagree?" I asked.

"Yeah, I disagree."

I breathed in deeply and trying to excise my frustration in my exhale. This was exactly what my family had been talking about earlier, and I would prove them wrong, for myself. I was going to be the picture of patience. "Can you explain what you disagree with, and why?"

He shook his head. "You d-don't understand."

"I can try."

"I failed her. F-for years, I didn't d-do enough to keep her s-s-safe. With me, I have you, Bella," he smiled softly, cupping my cheek in his warm hand and rubbing his thumb on my face. "I have you, and Emmett, and Esme, and y-your whole f-f-family."

"Our family," I corrected.

"Our f-family," Edward nodded in agreement, "But Alice only r-really has me. She d-doesn't know that th-there are other people out th-there p-protecting her. And if th-there's literally one thing I can d-do to make her f-feel s-s-safe, I need t-to d-do that."

I understood that. I really did. I disagreed with him taking responsibility for their childhood abuse, which I told him, but that wasn't the base of his point. So I helped him try to get as comfortable as possible, piling up blankets on the floor of Alice's room as quietly as possible and propping up a few pillows so he wouldn't be laying on the cold floor with no support.

"You're going to stay?" he asked incredulously as I laid down on the side of the little nest I had created. I nodded, patting the pile of blankets next to me. Of course I was going to stay. It wasn't like it was possible for me to get caught, and I wasn't going to just hang out in a tree night after night. We had progressed past that.

"Are you comfortable?" I asked, tucking the thick comforter around Edward. He had curled into me, laying on his side with his back to Alice, who was completely oblivious and deeply asleep.

"I'm fine," he sighed, hugging an arm around my torso and nuzzling into my shoulder so I could bury my face in his soft, clean hair. He paused for a moment, then lifted his head up to look up at me. "Are… are y-you c-comfortable?"

I swallowed a laugh, trying to be as quiet as possible and not jostle him. "I could be hanging upside from a tree by my big toe and still be perfectly content, so I'm also fine here," I whispered.

"Oh." His head dipped down to rest on my collarbone again. I kissed at his hair softly, enjoying the potency of his scent emanating from his scalp, though his shower kind of diluted it. I wondered if he would object to switching to an unscented soap, but I didn't know how to ask without explaining, in which I was sure to come across as obsessed and maybe a little creepy.

I hummed very quietly for him, so much so that I wondered if he could hear it so much as feel the vibrations in my chest. But at least it didn't seem to bother him, and he was soon asleep as well, breathing deeply and steadily and nearly dead to the world.

I wondered if Edward was, in fact, right about Alice, because she slept far more soundly than she had in weeks. She still tossed and turned a bit more than normal, and muttered incoherent mumblings under her breath for a few minutes, but other than that it was a pretty notable change. She even looked more refreshed when she got up in the early morning.

I zipped into the closet, easily slipping out from Edward's hold and replacing my body with a spare pillow so he would have something to hold on to. Alice rolled out of bed and stretched out quickly, yawning and combing her fingers through her tangled black hair to no avail, it was sticking up in all different directions in the back and I doubted it would straighten down without some work and more than some product.

She kneeled next to Edward, cocooned in a mound of pillows and blankets on the floor next to her bed. "Thank you," she said, loud enough that Edward stirred, then kissed him on his temple. Charlie was already in the kitchen, brewing coffee and thumbing through the Seattle papers, and Alice padded downstairs to join him.

Edward sleeping in Alice's room also became a part of our routine, and combined with the hour or so of time I spent away from him every evening, I was starting to fill deprived of alone time. Our days were filled with all sorts of activities, from video games with Emmett, to piano lessons with Rose. She was becoming warmer and more comfortable around Edward, and even began letting him help her tune up the truck as she prepared for a total engine rebuild. They didn't speak much, but they didn't need to. Rose was generally more quiet and reserved, but Edward seemed to understand her better than anyone outside of our family ever had, and I realized why. He was a part of the family now, as much as myself or Esme. And Rose had accepted that as a natural progression.

It made me feel… beyond content. Even when Rose was making an effort to be supportive, I knew she had her reservations, but this was entirely different. She didn't have to go out of her way to be welcoming, it just was.

And naturally, Esme carved out time to spend with Edward. She taught him how to bake bread, and he helped her pick out a new exterior paint color for the house. They were all shades of white, and I could tell that Edward didn't see much of a difference in the color options, but he was a good sport about it all. He listened intently and gave his opinion, and, when the rain broke and the sun finally came out, he even helped to paint a tiny square of the wall while Emmett zoomed around the house with a roller finishing the rest of it off.

Edward was sweating from the work after only a few minutes as the heat of the sun pounded on the side of the house and the dampness of days of rain hung heavy in the air. Esme took the roller from him and passed it off to Rose, who had emerged from the garage to help Emmett.

"You two should find something else to do," she said, ushering us onto the porch and into the shade. "Didn't you say you were going to go swimming the next time we had nice weather? Well the weather's nice, and it's a good way to stay cool."

Edward perked up at the idea, looking to me for my answer, and I couldn't say no. It had been days since we had had a significant amount of time together, and I had to admit that despite the nerves, I wasn't going to resist. At least the painting would keep Emmett occupied for most of the day so he wouldn't find an excuse to tag along.

I slid my hand up to the back of Edward's neck where the perspiration was collecting, trying to help keep him cool, and shrugged in acquiescence. Esme clapped her hands together and dragged him inside with her, back to rifle through Carlisle's closet on Edward's behalf.

Dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, I felt safe, comfortable. But under it was that bathing suit, a collection of blue triangles of nylon tied together with string. And the idea of being dressed in nothing but that in front of Edward tied my stomach in knots, a feeling that wasn't even soothed by running with Edward on my back.

I had to run us deep into the park. All of the nicer swimming areas near towns would be densely populated with humans, and it would be best to be miles away from any backcountry adventurers as well.

I weaved around trees easily, my pace lumbering. Maybe even slower than normal. I always took it easy when running with Edward, though he never seemed to mind the speed, but I was also stalling something that would be inevitable save for a freak rainstorm.

It was a beautiful little area, not too far from our meadow. It was scorching hot, so much so that a shimmering mirage floated off the smooth dirt of the riverbank with even the slightest of breezes, but the wildflowers were in full bloom in the summer season, and they blossomed all around us like stars littering a clear night sky.

I crouched down to let Edward off of my back, and he slid off, sneaker-clad feet sinking into the damp soil.

"This place is beautiful," he said, turning around to get a panoramic view. The river was just a small branching of the Sol Duc, the same river that flowed behind our house at home, but it also wasn't deep or entrenched. We were in almost a mini-meadow, a patch of lush grass and flowers surrounded by a dense thicket of trees and brush.

The river had a small shore here, with grassless dirt leading to small flat stones and smooth river rocks submerged in cool running water that dipped off into the river. Edward was already on the bank, peeling his shirt and jeans off and stuffing his socks into his shoes.

"There aren't sh-sharks in h-here or anything, right?" he asked, eyeing the water nervously.

"No," I laughed. I was on the other end of the clearing, stashing the cooler of food and drinks Esme had packed under a tree where it wouldn't warm too quickly. I also had an excellent vantage point to watch Edward without him noticing.

Edward was standing on the rocky bank, feet in the water and looking at the depth of the river. He was wearing a pair of Carlisle's swim trunks of a soft orange color, cropping a few inches above his knee and sitting low on his hips from the too-large size so the V shaped lines where his lower abdomen met his hip flexors were prominent and protruding. I had seen him without a shirt before, memories I held dear and thought of often, but he looked different in the light of the sun. His skin was pale enough that it was as if the sun shone through, and he held the light under his skin. Even with the marks along his chest from years of abuse and the small white scars that littered his forearms from years of coping, he was beyond flawless.

I was still under the tree when Edward was in the water. He navigated the few feet of rocks with steady balance, and then slipped into the cool, gently flowing river. He was still on the shallow edge of the river and able to stand, the water reaching up well past his navel, but he kept his back to me. There was more of a bluff on the other side of the river, a small rocky precipice that was framed by arching trees that hung over the water and extended out almost to the middle of the river, and he seemed to be studying the idyllic scenery.

I almost tore my clothes off in haste, before I lost my nerve, throwing them onto a pile on a rock and darting into the water to join Edward.

It felt warm and I was grateful that all of the rain had raised the river so the water came up to my collarbone. Even here, with my shoulders completely bare, I was more exposed than I had ever been in front of him, and I knew I was sparkling brilliantly in the beating sun. My skin would be impossible to miss. I was absorbing the heat quickly, and I thought I might burst into flames. I only hoped it would smolder away any awkwardness and this painfully uncomfortable shyness that was the result of a swirling cloud of reasons.

There were, of course, the human ones. That my shape wouldn't be pleasing to him. All humans had a physical preference, and the ingrained and automatic devotion from our bond might not extend to his baser desires, given the fallibility of humanity. And, of course, I was waiting for the moment I would finally scare him away. So exposed, in the beating sun, it was impossible to deny my inhumanity, and I worried he would see the undeniable canyon between us.

I stood at his side, facing out to the other side of the river in the same direction he had been staring, looking for something remarkable enough to have caught and held his attention for so long and finding nothing. It was a pretty enough area, for sure. I wouldn't have brought us here if it wasn't.

"The water's nice," I commented, trying to keep the mood light. I didn't need to burden Edward with the enormity of my emotions.

"I'm s-surprised it's so cold," he said, and I noticed the goosebumps on his skin where the water lapped at his chest.

"Is it too much?" I asked, ready to move out of the water, but Edward's hand caught me, and I let him spin me forward to stand in front of him.

"It's certainly a lot," he whispered, voice hoarse, and I got the feeling he wasn't talking about water temperature.

"It's from the rain. It cools the rivers down."

"Hmm," Edward hummed, gaze dropping from my eyes a few inches lower, and I shifted my weight to the balls of my feet to reach up to him. Instead of a hand in his hair, I took advantage of him being shirtless and rested it on his bare shoulder. My other hand was still trapped in Edward's, and his free hand slipped out and snaked into the water to hold his form against me. I began rubbing small circles in between his shoulder blades, mesmerized by the softness of his skin and how warm he felt beneath my fingertips.

I swallowed the venom back before opening my mouth to Edward, stifling a needy whimper when he pressed his hand against my lower back, pushing our torsos impossibly closer. Without meaning to, I pressed even closer to him, and Edward drifted back in response, trying to maintain his balance. Instead, though, we drifted into the deeper part of the gentle flow of the river so that I could no longer stand.

"Do you know how to swim?" I asked curiously, pulling away so Edward could breath heavily at my ear. I inhaled deeply, drowning in his warm breath and how I could taste him coating my skin. I suppressed the instinct to lick his skin, again gulping down the venom that was pooling with desire. If anything, this was more difficult to control than any bloodlust I had ever experienced.

"Not well," he admitted, taking the hand from my back to skim the surface of the water. "I th-think my parents put Alice and me in s-s-swimming c-classes, but it was s-so long ago I don't r-remember."

"I don't think swimming is something you really forget," I said, leading him further into the depths. All the small fish that normally populated the small branches of rivers in the Pacific Northwest raced along the banks of the river, needing to swim with the current but their deepest instincts driving them to desperately avoid the apex predator treading water above them. As if I would ever eat a fish.

I kicked my feet lightly and cupped each of Edward's elbows, keeping us both afloat as he could no longer touch the bottom. "Floating is always the first step," I advised, and Edward relaxed in my arms. "Can I touch your back?" I asked, wanting to help him but not wanting to broach his boundaries.

"Of course," Edward nodded, kicking his feet excessively so that he bobbed in the water. I smiled and stilled his feet with one of my legs, then moved my hands from his arms to help him lean back in the water. I floated on his back as I braced him up, one palm cupping the curve between his shoulder blades, and the other at the concave curve of his spine at his lower back. It was the most intimate place I had ever touched him, but I didn't let that cloud my thoughts.

I showed him how best to float, with small and sparse kicks of his feet to keep the lower part of his body up and holding his breath on the inhale. Once he managed it, I kicked up so I could float next to him, connected by our entwined hands like a pair of otters, sleek in the water and basking in the afternoon sun as we drifted with the gentle current.

It was how we spent much of our day. We pointed out the images we saw in the cloudscapes, and I laughed so loudly when Edward said he could see Snoopy and Woodstock on the doghouse that a flock of birds in a nearby tree were startled into flight.

"That's so specific," I said, still laughing, and Edward joined. He had to right himself in the water, unable to stay on his back and laugh at the same time without sucking in a mouthful of water. We drifted along, and I eventually showed Edward how to paddle back to the clearing, though he didn't need much help. It really was all muscle memory, and even with the stream pushing against us Edward managed a fairly elegant stroke to kick back to our original swimming spot.

His stomach growled, and I looked down and could see the pruning of his hands in the water as his skin over-absorbed the moisture. I darted out of the water and wrapped myself in a beach towel quickly, then was back at the rocky riverbank with a towel for Edward before he could blink.

I didn't even like this. It was still too exposing. My shoulders were completely bare, and the tops of my bathing suit top were visibly peeking out from the fold of the towel wrapped around my torso. But Edward didn't even seem to take much notice, which I had to admit did sting a little. I could hardly ever peel my gaze from him, especially when he was showing so much skin, but he just shook out his hair and carefully walked up the rocks to meet me. He grabbed the towel and wiped the water off, then draped it across his shoulders and nonchalantly walked to the other side of the small meadow where the cooler was protected by the shade.

I spread out the picnic blanket Esme had packed as Edward unwrapped his sandwich, and we laid out in the picturesque clearing, looking out over the river and encapsulated by the melodic tones of untouched nature. The wildflowers bristled in the breeze and wafted their sweet scent, mixing potently with the smell of sunshine and honey that emanated naturally from Edward. He seemed oblivious, though, focusing entirely on almost inhaling his second sandwich.

He sat with his legs outstretched, balancing on one elbow as he leaned back. The muscles in his abdomen were tight with the stretch and flexed movements of keeping himself upright, and I sat mesmerized by the alluring movements. I wanted to reach out and trace each rivet of his stomach, up to the definition of his ribcage that was ever-more difficult to see as he was more and more nourished.

He balled up the foil from his disappeared sandwich and tossed it over to the open cooler, cleanly sinking the shot.

"Nice," I applauded, and Edward shot me a crooked grin.

"Come here," he said, patting the space on the blanket next to him. I slid over, careful to keep the beach towel tucked around me, and mirrored his posture so we were both leaning back on our elbows, heads thrown back to the sky.

I had my eyes closed, letting the sun warm my cold skin, but I heard Edward move. He sat up a bit, and I could feel his lips brushing against the edge of my ear. "I love you," he whispered, words clear and true, and then I felt his hand and its blazing heat resting on my leg, on the middle of my thigh just below the hem of the towel. I sucked in an unnecessary but ragged breath at the contact.

"As I love you," I responded in kind, eyes still closed but feeding the words into his open mouth as his lips hovered just above my own. I breathed in the deliciousness of his scent, with no burn and no venom, but it was nonetheless intoxicating. He kissed at the corner of my parted mouth, lingering, drawing the moment out inexorably.

"Edward," I sighed, biting back a moan at the fluttering of need that was building in the pit of my stomach and blossoming into the cavity in my chest.

And then his lips pressed gently against mine, soft and warm and pliable against my unyielding skin. He rolled over me so that his weight pressed me into the soft flannel, one knee between my legs and the other nestled against my outer thigh.

I was warmer than usual with all the sun exposure, but my skin was still cool to him, and for once that was an advantage, as I kept the heat at bay. The sensation of his tongue sliding against mine as I pushed through his parted mouth, caressing and tasting his distilled essence, was an unapparelled heavenly experience.

I kept my hands twisted through his hair, occasionally pressing against the nape of his neck to provide a cool respite, but even with all the exposed skin of his back and chest I didn't want to push him or test his boundaries without him specifically asking me to. I knew our limits, and besides, I was so caught up in the feeling of his tongue snaking out and tracing my bottom lip before flicking into the ridge of my mouth that I didn't care about pushing anything, and his hand dropped from my neck to cup the bare, untouched skin of my shoulder.

The wet silk of his mouth so contrasted with the dull pressure of his teeth scraping against my tongue, all warm and soft and pliant. His hand started to trace along my collarbone, then down the side of my arm, then back again, leaving a trail of fire and desire in its wake. It felt like my skin was burning, and Edward pressed into me, deepening our kiss and fiercely pressing his mouth to mine so I worried that maybe he would hurt himself, but then his fingertips skimmed along the swell of my breast, covered by swimsuit and towel, and I lost all my thoughts.

I should have called Tanya.

He had me cornered, caught between the earth and his body and, and while of course I could have broken free if I wanted to, I couldn't draw back and break our connection. So his lips stayed glued to mine, his tongue drawing daringly close to the razor sharpness of my teeth, and his hand cupped my breast so lightly, so gently, with his fingers on the outside almost tucking into my underarm, and his thumb on the other side of the pebbling bud of my nipple.

It was so much. His tongue was still in my mouth, and he momentarily sucked in my bottom lip and let his teeth scrape at the sensitive skin inside before releasing it and diving back in my mouth. I opened my eyes to see him just above me, eyes squeezed tight and expression markedly passionate, and just then his thumb moved a few centimeters to brush over my nipple, and I couldn't keep my eyes open.

I flattened my palms and spread my fingers out straight, immediately removing them from Edward's hair and slamming them to my sides to clutch at the blanket. I couldn't find anything to hold- the fabric ripped easily and I had to dig my fingers into the grass to keep my hands anchored down. Somehow, amidst the clouded thoughts, I was able to keep some semblance of rationality and control.

I needed to keep my hands off of him for the moment, so I did. I was completely able to do so. Edward sucked on my tongue, and I arched my back up without meaning to, so Edward's thumb pressed harder against my impossibly-harder pebbling nipple. The extra pressure, though minute, did something to me. I clawed at the ground as a jolt of pleasure shot through me, electrifying every fiber of my nerves straight to the throbbing at the apex of my thighs. I was barely holding on to my control, and the tightness in my chest manifested into a gentle, rumbling rhythm.

It all happened in a moment. I arched, searching for more, and I needed an outlet for the new sensation. My lips were parted, and a breathy, needy, and embarrassingly loud moan escaped.

Immediately, he took his hand off of me and almost sprung back. The sudden separation left me cold from the loss of the heat of his touch.

"I'm s-so s-s-sorry," Edward said, brows knitted together. He was kneeling on the blanket, sitting back on his heels, but the ease of the afternoon was gone. He looked tortured, like someone had ripped his fingernails from their beds.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked, releasing my deep grip on the ground and brushing the dirt off on the shredded blanket. I sat up, crossing my legs underneath me and surveying him quickly. I hadn't been touching him for long, but he seemed unharmed- though his river-dampened hair looked particularly messy, each lock dark and tangled and messy.

"I sh-shouldn't have…" he swallowed deeply, then looked up at me. I could feel my heart breaking in real time. The single most pleasurable experience of my existence, and Edward regretted it. I knew he would. I should never have trusted Rose or Carlisle in this. "I d-didn't ask first. I'm s-sorry. I know I sh-shouldn't have just assumed-"

"Wait, what?" I asked again. I was completely wrong. I had doubted him again, and it seemed with no reason.

"I g-got c-carried away. I shouldn't have. I sh-should know better, I of all p-people sh-should understand. I was s-s-supposed to ask first, and m-make s-sure you were okay. I just want to make you happy."

"Oh god, Edward," I sighed, sitting up and cradling his face in my hands so I could force him to look at me. My hands were still dirty, soil under my fingernails, and looked out of place on the smooth, soft skin of his cheekbones. "I couldn't be more happy. No, happy is not the right word. Blissful. Ecstatic. Elated. Dizzying, deliriously overwhelming euphoria. And even that's not enough."

"You're not… mad at me?" he asked, one hand coming up to lay over one of my own as I kept ahold of his face.

"I'm not mad at you," I promised. "And I really, really, really liked that."

"Yeah?" he asked, lips turning up at one corner of his mouth.

"Well, like isn't the right word," I joked, and he laughed with me.

"I more than liked that, too."

"Yeah?" I asked, mirroring his crooked smile as best I could. He reached up and traced a finger along my lips, dipping into the corner of my mouth and turning the other side of my lips up so my smile was even.

"I'd l-like to do that again s-s-sometime."

"You can do that whenever you want to."

"Whenever?" he asked, brows arching and a playful grin growing on his mouth.

"Blanket consent," I promised, tilting my head up at him in welcome. We were smiling in tandem, connected by our lips and the quiet but explosive acknowledgement that we had just gone further than we had ever gone before.

He kissed me softly, tenderly, and I somehow felt like the most delicate creature on the planet as he traced the planes of my face with his fingertips. He touched along my cheek, then down to my jawline, and grasped my chin to tilt my mouth further into his. Somehow, despite being virtually indestructible, I was complete putty in his hands.

Similar to the last time, his fingertips skimmed along my collarbone, then up and down along my arm. But this time I knew what to expect. I knew what he was about to do, and my body was screaming in readiness. I inhaled and held my breath, trying not to be too cocooned by the intoxicating scent, and my hands found their place in the divets in the dirt.

But this time, instead of to the peak on my chest that was standing at attention, he traced the curve of my collarbone again, then down my sternum. He stopped, fingering the knot in the towel that was keeping my safely wrapped up.

"C-can I?" he asked, breathing heavily. I opened my eyes and looked up, for a moment stunned. His head was right above me, blocking out the sun perfectly so the tendrils of his hair glowed as a golden halo.

"Yes," I said, expelling some of the air I was still holding in my lungs. I didn't dare move hands from their anchor. The starchy fabric slipped off easily, and he pushed each side off of me.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't stand to see his face. We were in the unforgiving, glaring light of day- not exactly the ambience I had expected for this experience. There was no hiding, not even from his unsensitive eyes, and I knew that the brilliant sparkling of my inhumanity was sure to be the final straw.

"Bella," he whispered, "You're beautiful." His tone was something, I had never heard before. Not from Edward, at least. It was… reverent. The voice of a man worshipping at the altar of his goddess.

I opened my eyes slowly, the seed of doubt still rearing its ugly head that maybe he was lying, or joking, or so horrified he was stunned into nonsense. But that was all erased. He was looking right at me, his green eyes piercing and clear and earnest. I knew that if my heart were still beating, it would be pounding out of my chest, but it wasn't in nerves anymore. It was all love.

He leaned down to kiss me again, so tender that his lips felt like a butterfly's wings brushing against my own. His hand found its way to my breast again, his touch soft and his hand stationary as he cupped the unyielding flesh. The flimsy material of the bathing suit top did nothing to dull the sensitivity of my skin. His hand was so hot, his lips moved across mine and guided my tongue into his mouth to taste him, and with his thumb brushing gently over the stiff peak of my nipple, I thought I was surely going to burst into flames.

Spontaneous vampire combustion from very gentle nipple play. What a way to go. Emmett would be proud.

Just when I thought it was going to be too much, that the throbbing between my legs was going to be so unbearable that I would throw myself at Edward in a way I was sure to regret, he pulled away.

He was panting, and he moved his hand to brace his weight on the ground. "We need to s-s-stop," he said, and I immediately sat up. His heart was pounding, his skin was pinkened with blush. But it didn't seem like he was panicking. In fact, there was a soft, adoring smile playing on his lips, and his verdant eyes were sparkling like my skin.

"Are you okay?" I asked, pulling my hand from the dirt to run my fingers through his silky hair.

"I d-didn't think it was p-possible to love anyone this m-much," he said, placing a hand over where my dead heart laid to demonstrate his point. I mirrored him, my hand falling from his hair to his bare chest to feel his pliable skin raise and fall with each beat.

"I never knew it would feel like this," I told him honestly. I was still beyond affected by his touch, and I didn't know if the lightning pulses that were coursing through my veins were ever going to go away. That, along with the ever-present ache in my chest, were sure to be my undoing. Maybe not here, in this little nestle of meadow along the river, but at some point in the future. My control was in tatters, hanging on by threads of knowledge that I absolutely could not lose control.

"Neither did I," he agreed. "I d-didn't think I would ever g-get th-this."

"What? A vampire girlfriend?" I joked, and Edward laughed out loud. I couldn't help but join, uplifted by how carefree and jovial he seemed. The intimacy must truly not have sent him into a downward spiral, a wonderful new discovery I hoped he would take advantage of in the future but also was independently significant. I was glad just for me and what it meant for us, but how monumental this was. He had cried when I first kissed him, and when I thought we had been moving forward and had accidentally brushed the hardness of an erection that day in the kitchen, he panicked again. But here we were, in the dulling light of a sunny afternoon, open and free and laughing.

"No, I was d-definitely not expecting th-that," he said, still laughing. He leaned forward to kiss me again, soft and sweet and brief.

"Hey, imagine my surprise when you turned out to be human," I teased, pushing his shoulder playfully so he rolled off of me. "This isn't a common occurrence, you know."

"That's not my f-fault. You're th-the one operating on a d-different f-frequency than the rest of y-your kind. Me? I was j-just a helpless v-victim to y-your s-s-supernatural feminine wiles."

I was still laughing, a full on belly laugh. "Yeah, I'm the one with the dazzling effect. Sure."

"What d-do y-you mean?"

"Oh, please," I scoffed, swatting at his leg, then quickly dusting the remaining soil from my hands on my discarded blanket. Edward noticed- of course he noticed, and he looked down and finally seemed to register the shredded fabric of the picnic blanket.

"What happened?" he asked, reaching over to my side to stick his hand through the hole and into the depression I had dug in the damp ground.

I looked at his hand, too embarrassed to look at his face. It looked like some kind of animal had clawed its way along a tiny patch of blanket on either side of me. "I needed to do something with my hands while you… you know. And I was worried that if I was touching you, that… well, that I'd hurt you."

"Oh," he said, surprised. I still couldn't stand to look at him. The other ball was finally going to drop. This was going to be the last straw, and he would finally see what was so plainly obvious to me.

"I'm sorry. I'm trying, Edward, I promise. I'm trying to be human. I'm just not used to these feelings, and everything is so new and fresh and so much more powerful than I-"

"Don't be absurd," he said immediately, interrupting my word vomit of an apology.

"What?"

"Are y-you r-really trying to apologize f-for not hurting me?" he asked.

"Well, no, of course not. But this isn't normal-"

"Is it normal f-for you?" he asked, interrupting again.

"What?" I repeated. Somehow, all that supernatural brainpower abandoned me around him.

"Is it normal? F-for vampires?"

"Well," I thought, tracing the fraying threads of the ripped blanket only centimeters from his hand. "Yes, I guess it is. Physical passion can be overwhelming, and destructive. You should have seen Emmett and Rose the first few years," I smiled, trying to lighten my mood but still nervous and anxious. "Esme had them move out before they demolished another house."

"A house?" he asked.

"A few, actually."

"Is it always l-like th-that?"

I worried my bottom lip. "Yes, I guess so. To my knowledge."

"Then it s-s-sound normal. If anything, th-this s-s-seems tame," he said, holding up the torn fabric, then threading his fingers through my own and bringing my hand to his lips. I looked up at him, just in time to watch him kiss my palm gently. "If anything, th-that s-s-sound like s-s-something to look forward to."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah." He was grinning, and leaned over to kiss the shell of my ear, then the crease of my jaw. His mouth trailed along my neck teasingly until he was again back at his rightful place against my lips, and I licked the curve of his Cupid's bow and tasted the sweetness of his tongue again.

We left the meadow different. Different people, a different couple. There was a new lightness between us, and a new understanding. We were both dressed again, but Edward was holding onto my back almost lazily, his hands wandering along the exposed skin of my neck and even dipping under the collar of my shirt.

"I'm going to run into a tree, you know," I joked, twisting my head back so he could hear me. He didn't answer, just laughed and licked my earlobe. Somehow, it was connected right to the bundle of nerves at the apex of my thighs, and I jolted forward and nearly did almost run into a towering Douglas fir.

"Pay attention," he directed, continuing his ministrations, touching just at the swell of my breast. I wanted to have it last forever, but when I started to slow down, he directed me to not stop.

"You need to hold on," I told him. I had looped and circled around to draw this out, but we were basically home, and I heard Carlisle wondering to Esme over why it sounded like I was running around in circles in our backyard. Edward withdrew his hands, tightening his hold around my neck as I launched us over the coursing current of the Sol Duc and into the freshly mowed grass of our lawn.

"I thought you might have gotten lost and drifted out to sea," Emmett called from upstairs, darting into the kitchen just as I deposited Edward on the floor and the empty cooler on the counter.

"River flows the other way, Em," I pointed out, lacing my fingers through Edward's. Separation felt unnatural, even momentarily.

"Oh," Emmett said, quickly bouncing back and very deliberately clapping Edward on the shoulder. "I'm surprised you're not red as a lobster, man."

He wasn't. If anything, his skin seemed to match closer to the bronzed shade of his hair in a light but developing tan. "I put s-s-sunscreen on b-before we left."

"Are you staying for dinner, dear," Esme asked, dancing through the kitchen before Emmett could come up with some pithy retort or start pushing buttons.

"I think we're going to go back to Charlie's," I said, excusing us. I knew, deep down, that Edward would want to see Alice. We had been gone the entire day, and usually our outings were briefer and he could check in with her throughout the day. His diligence seemed to be working, because Alice was less tired and restless, though there was still an inexplicable dark moodiness that hadn't been there a few months before. I was writing it off to some kind of teenager hormonal swing. From what I understood, puberty could be, well, a bitch, especially in someone who had been through as much as Alice.

Esme didn't seem bothered by us begging off, and once Emmett extracted a promise of a video game marathon we were off.

"I've got to ask," I started, carefully tapping my finger on his hand. Edward looked over at me, his matted hair blowing in the wind billowing through the open window. "How did you do that? You know," I raised our entwined hands and gestured to my torso.

Edward smiled crookedly, squeezing my hand in his. "I j-just… I guess I just d-decided to."

"You just decided to," I repeated.

"I d-don't know how to explain it, b-but I j-just wanted to do it. S-s-so I did."

"I'm glad," I said softly, leaning over to kiss him softly as I pulled into the driveway. He leaned into me, but I was immediately distracted.

"Charlie's not home," I told him, and Edward looked at the empty spot where the cruiser usually resided, confused. "Charlie's not home, but there's someone else in the house with Alice."