Warning 1: The following chapters that you are going to read could be overly sensitive topics. Among the topics that are intended to be represented in this story are: abortion, murder, suicide and violence (mental and physical). Discretion is recommended, and if you need help, turn to "your person" you trust to give you support if you need it.

Warning 2: If you have a very idealized idea of "happily ever after" after the wedding, then this sequel may not be for you. No one is an entirely good person and no one is an entirely bad person; they do what they have to do, and they fall victim to their passions, desires, and mistakes. If you decide to continue reading, maybe I will break your heart, because this new story is a "Tragedy".

The Nightingale

Chapter 38: Messengers

Summer x492 — July / Yoruichi, 18 years old.

—

My very dear Yoruichi:

I was a bit surprised to know that you are so well informed of what is going on around me, but it surprises me more that you are aware of my wedding when I did not even send an invitation for you; in fact, I haven't heard from you since we broke up. Surely it was my aunt Kirio who told you about my wedding, I remember that she was very fond of you when we were in Vayalat, and it seems that she is still fond of you.

I didn't invite you to my wedding for a simple reason: you and I aren't friends, no anymore.

The words in your letter have made it clear to me that ours is just a memory just as withered as the flower you sent. You are upset and I understand it; it's my fault for having abandoned you and not staying with you. What did you expect when you wrote me this letter? Did you want an apology? A promise? A confession of the deep love that you expect from me and that I do not feel for you? I don't care, I don't want an answer and I'm not interested in having it.

"I'm sorry my dear Yoruichi, I shouldn't have run away from you. I should have been clearer with you regarding my feelings."

That's all the apology you'll get from me. I'm a bastard like Kaien, and maybe worse; I don't even pretend that I'm not, because yeah, I'm a bastard. We were friends and we were happy together for as long as it lasted, I'm not going to deny it, just that we both believed the wrong things. You believed that I would love you, and I believed that I was going to be the king. I didn't love you, and I won't be the king.

At the beginning of your letter, underneath all the anger in that opening sentence, is the truth; I'm the Second Prince of the kingdom, and with that title comes a wife. Only that you are misinformed, my dear Yoruichi; I'm not "forced to marry", I'm going to marry her because I want to.

I'll confess a secret to you my dear Yoruichi, before my engagement to Rukia became official, the council members suggested that I marry you as a form of "compensation" for not having inherited the crown. They gave me the freedom to choose who to marry, and I chose her. Rukia is not like you, Rukia does not see a prince who will inherit a kingdom, Rukia does not expect me to feel anything for her; Rukia just came along and brightened my life in a way that nothing and no one had ever done before.

You and I were friends, my dear Yoruichi, and in the name of that friendship I suggest you stop rejecting suitors who ask for your hand in marriage; you will become the most difficult princess to woo by waiting for something you will not have. We were lovers, we discovered that world together and that is something that I can never forget, but it will only remain in that, in a memory.

Maybe my life is hell, but if you wanted to spend the rest of your life by my side, then maybe it wasn't such a bad hell; but if my life becomes hell, it is surely because I'm a demon, but I found the perfect partner to occupy the throne by my side in that personal hell.

My very dear Yoruichi, thank you for sending me that white flower and reminding me of the scent of your skin in the morning; now I'm sure that scent has no effect on me. If you thought that remembering your scent would make me miss you, let me tell you that it didn't work. I don't miss you.

Yoruichi, forget about me, get married, have children or do what you like the most; hate me all your life if that makes you happy, because this is the first and last time that I write to you.

Ichigo.

P.S. I know you know what the black rose in your hand means. It's the end, Yoruichi, the one you didn't want to accept that night in Vayalat.

—

Yoruichi's smile upon receiving that letter faded as she read it, at the end she only had an expression of anger that was accentuated by her teeth that were clenched in a growl that came from her throat; she clenched the black rose in a fist causing the thorns of the stem to be embedded in the palm of her hand and the blood stained her skin.

She let out a scream filled with anger and hatred, and squeezed the rose in her hand tighter, causing herself more pain on purpose. She crumpled the letter and threw it on the floor, raised the hand with which she was holding the rose and watched her blood stain the dried flower stem and thorns; Ichigo had sent her a rose of a different color every time he replied to a letter when they were children, and she knew perfectly well that the black rose was the end of everything.

The end disguised as a rose.

Yoruichi was no longer a girl although she was the youngest of the princesses; she did not shed a tear when reading that letter although her eyes burned and she felt like crying. Yoruichi was not sad, she was angry. For years she had been writing to Ichigo, she had told him everything that had happened since he left with the mercenaries and she had been left alone with Queen Masaki, but it seemed that her letters had not reached him.

At that point it no longer mattered; Ichigo was right about one thing, that was the end, but she wouldn't be the only one who suffered from the actions of the past. Ichigo was also partly to blame and she wouldn't let him forget so easily.

Summer x492 — July 23

—

Your Majesty, since my arrival in Maranni I have been investigating, here I give you a report on what I have discovered.

There was an accident in the city, apparently something exploded at the main city gates; there are no traces of fire, only destruction. There were many deaths in that accident, most of them were soldiers.

The son of the Lord of Maranni was injured in those explosions, it's said that he was chasing a fugitive who escaped from the dungeons of the Great House.

Nobody can explain the explosions, nobody saw anything, only the bodies of the soldiers who were bleeding in strange positions.

They say that a foreign prince was here, he has left and I have not seen him with my own eyes, they say that he usually comes every few months and stays in the Great House.

No one has seen the son of the Lord of Maranni, they believe he is dead but I have seen doctors enter and leave the Great House during the night.

—

— Why did you only give them two weeks? It's their honeymoon, at least it should last a month like Kaien's! — Masaki asked as soon as she entered Ishhin's private office; surely Masaki had been talking to Ichigo while he packed his bags for the next day's trip.

Isshin could tell that his queen was upset; he knew his wife better than she could hope for, and he knew she was not going to be silent on that subject. Masaki was wise not to discuss certain topics in the presence of someone other than Isshin, and Isshin knew that she was never silent in the face of what she considered unfair.

Ichigo's honeymoon time was clearly unfair to Masaki.

— Because Ichigo has to do the 13 city tour, he will go with his wife. The tour is long, he can take it with an extension of his honeymoon. — He clarified looking at his queen without showing any expression beyond the seriousness that he had at that moment. Isshin didn't get up from his seat, he simply put aside the report that had come from Maranni in previous days and that he was rereading at the time.

— That's ridiculous! The city tour is for work, not for them to enjoy being alone. — Masaki complained putting both hands on Isshin's desk. — You still prefer the…

— Don't you dare finish that sentence, Masaki! When I die, Kaien will be king and it is my last word. — Isshin warned, rising from his seat to be at the same height as Masaki so he could look into her eyes.

Isshin knew his wife, knew her character and knew that she was strong; even without using the ankh, Masaki was strong. She was the perfect queen and, although he was in love with her wife, there was something that kept him from being entirely happy with her, and Masaki was in charge of reminding him all the time.

— Not if Ichigo decides to make use of the ancient traditions. — Masaki threatened him. Isshin just looked at her and smiled at that threat; Masaki had power, but not enough to make him tremble with threat.

Isshin walked a bit, circling his desk and made Masaki turn on her heel following him until he cornered her between his body and the desk. Isshin didn't speak at the time, he just stared into her eyes.

— I will be dead when that happens, I will not see or suffer for the death of anyone; and restoring those traditions would end in massacre. Do you want to see your grandchildren die? Ichigo may be strong, he may make use of the ankh that he has inherited from you, but Kaien is clever; much smarter than you think. Do you think he is not aware of that? Do you think he hasn't prepared his cards for the plays that Ichigo could make at my death? — Isshin saw his wife grit her teeth, even angry she looked beautiful. He raised a hand to caress her face but Masaki tilted her head avoiding the caress.

— Why do you prefer Kaien over Ichigo? Ichigo is our son. — Masaki asked. It was the first time she had asked that question, most of the time it was just claims on her part. Isshin lowered his hand but didn't move away from his wife. — Did you love that woman so much? If you loved her so much, why did you marry me?

Masaki's look at asking that question made Isshin want to hug her, but he was sure she would reject him if he tried. There was a note of pleading in her gaze that Isshin hadn't seen in many years, but he couldn't answer the questions. Masaki was silent waiting for an answer, it was a long and tense moment between them; one they hadn't had in a long time.

— I married you because I love you. — Isshin waited for Masaki to speak, or to get angry, but what he saw in her gaze was such a deep disappointment that he felt himself falling into an abyss.

Isshin walked away from Masaki, that was not the answer she was waiting for, but it would be the only answer he would give her. There was no need to say anything else, Isshin saw Masaki head to the door and pause before opening it.

— Love Kaien, love him all you want, because he is the only illegitimate child you will ever have. — The door opened and closed; Isshin was again left alone in his private office.

Isshin knew it, knew that Kaien was his only illegitimate son; he knew what Masaki had done to his mistresses. He knew it and had allowed it. He didn't even feel guilt, he had tried to hurt Masaki, and she had returned that attempt by putting the heart of his lovers on a tray. Still, he had lovers; many lovers.

His relationship with his wife fluctuated between happiness and resentment; they were not at peace and never would be. They had both passed that point of no return many years ago. Isshin still remembered the life he had dreamed of with Masaki when they were young, when he was the last prince of the kingdom and on his shoulders was to marry and give an heir; they had been good dreams. It would have been a good life, but he knew that he had made many mistakes and it was too late to change or repair what had been done.

It seemed that he was more nostalgic than usual that day, because by staying alone in his office, he remembered the day his father had died and the argument they had because the old king did not want to legitimize Kaien. Kaien. His son with that woman he had met on that hunting day and with whom everyone says he was in love; even Masaki said it.

Isshin did not remember that feeling, did not even remember having felt anything for that woman beyond compassion for having found her hurt in the forest; but everyone said that he was madly in love with her, so much so that he had refused to marry Masaki. Isshin did not remember not wanting to marry Masaki, she was everything he had always dreamed of in a woman; Masaki was strong, independent. Masaki was a hurricane on a woman's body.

The years he had spent with Kaien's mother seemed too hazy a memory, as if it were all a hazy dream from which nothing could be remembered upon awakening; he didn't even remember her name, but she had given him a son and he felt the immense need to protect that son. The laws dictated that he should get rid of Kaien, send him to a farm and have him cared for by his nannies, brought up as the son of a Great Lord and then enlist him in the army; Isshin couldn't do it, something prevented him, something beyond his will, and he attributed it to the fact that he saw one of his dead brothers in Kaien.

Kaien was the cause of many problems with the old king and with Masaki; Kaien was one of the reasons Isshin poisoned his own father for months until he died. The other reason was because of his brothers, because of Ganju specifically.

Isshin lay down on a three-seater sofa in his office and began to think about everything that had happened, everything that would happen and the words that Masaki said to him when she entered the office. He knew that Ichigo wanted the throne; Ichigo wanted to be the king, and he had only married Rukia because he had to follow the protocol of the Second Prince, although something did not add up there.

The Ichigo who had asked for a house for Orihime was not the same Ichigo who had signed the nuptial contract. Ichigo was looking at Rukia with the same intensity that a man in love looks at a woman and Isshin knew that look. It was the same look that Ganju had when he married Emiko, it was the same look that he had when he got engaged to Masaki, and it angered him.

Isshin was angry that Ichigo looked at Rukia like that; Isshin was angry to see that his son was so in love with Rukia, because he was afraid that Rukia would kill Ichigo just like Emiko killed Ganju. The Kuchiki women he had known only brought disgrace to his family; even the Kuchiki girl who married his uncle had brought disgrace to his uncle.

Summer x492 — July 24

Yuki left the residence of the Lord of Maranni wearing one of the dresses that Rukia had given her, they were pretty dresses but they were used; it was Rukia's way of telling her that even if she dressed as the Queen's Favorite, she would never be more than an imitation. Yuki would prove to Rukia that she was better, and when Rukia returned, Yuki would be the new Favorite of the Queen.

Yuki went to the castle kitchen crossing the path near the training ground; it was the shortest route to get to the queen's area, so she could see the soldiers, maybe some captain or general would notice her and make everything easier. Yuki was pretty and she knew it; she had the black hair and gray eyes of the Kuchiki, even her skin was fair, not as pale as Rukia's skin, but her skin was beautiful and smooth. It would not be difficult for her to find a suitor within the Queen's Court.

When she was about to enter the kitchen, Yuki heard the voice of a woman complaining that she was afraid of the punishment Rukia would give her when she returned from her honeymoon. Yuki didn't understand why they would be afraid of Rukia; Rukia was dumb and she didn't dole out punishments, she had never done it in Maranni and she didn't have the guts to do it at the time. Yuki entered the kitchen and found Rukia's new maid along with one of the cooks looking at a tray of cookies.

— The princess must be far away by now, she won't be back for some cookies. Maybe if we take… — The boy tried to take one of the cookies but Rukia's maid slapped his hand.

— No Hanataro, the cookies belong to Princess Rukia. — Rukia's maid pushed the tray out of Hanataro's reach and Yuki smiled.

Rukia wasn't going to be mad about some cookies she didn't bring along for the trip, plus they looked too delicious to let them go to waste. Yuki cleared her throat and Rukia's maid along with Hanataro greeted her with respect.

— Suki… Tsuki… — Yuki started to say, she didn't remember the name of Rukia's maid either, she had only heard it once.

— Tatsuki, Miss Yuki. — The maid replied and Yuki nodded.

—Tatsuki, Rukia said that the cookies would be a gift for me. — Yuki lied easily.

Hanataro was right, Rukia wasn't going to come back for some stupid cookies and Yuki was sure Rukia wouldn't be upset that she ate them.

— Did the princess say that? — The disbelief in Tatsuki's voice made Yuki angry.

— Are you saying that I'm lying?

— No, Miss Yuki, is that the princess said...

— Give me the cookies or I'll tell Rukia to punish you for not obeying an order she gave. — Yuki threatened and held out her hand for the maid to give her the cookies.

Tatsuki hesitated for a moment but took one of the kitchen papers and placed it inside a container, carefully placed all the cookies inside and covered it. Yuki approached the table and Tatsuki handed her the cookies; they were still warm and the aroma was unbelievably delicious.

— That's better.

The queen had called Yuki to her private rooms to discuss her entrance to the Queen's Court, and Yuki was glad to have Rukia's cookies at that time. She would wear Rukia's dresses because they were better than hers, but she wouldn't behave like her; Yuki decided that she would be perfect for the queen to look at her with good eyes.

When Yuki entered the queen's room, she found the queen together with the crown princess chatting and drinking something in a very animated way. Yuki smiled again, she was sure that with Rukia's cookies she could win the favor of the queen and the crown princess; she just had to say that she had made the cookies and the rest would be as easy as breathing.

Summer x492 — July 24

Nelliel looked at herself in the mirror, discovering her belly that was still flat and there was no obvious trace of the life that was growing within her.

The doctor had done a special test to see if she was pregnant and it would take a few days to confirm, but Nelliel knew that she was pregnant. Her period hadn't come the month before, and that month, which was about to end, hadn't come either; her period was never late and she hadn't felt quite right in the last few days, either. The Kahya was the first to know, Nelliel had confided to the Kahya that she had suspicions about a pregnancy, and the Kahya only reinforced that idea by telling her the symptoms of a pregnancy.

— Don't tell the queen, Mrs. Retsu. I want to be sure first. — Nelliel had said that day.

The Kahya had agreed not to tell the queen and Nelliel felt that complicity with the Kahya as if she were her real mother.

Kaien knew it too; Nelliel had confided in him the suspicions that she was pregnant, and Kaien was happy; he was as happy as she had never seen him before. From the day she confided that suspicion to him, Kaien took care of her and made sure that she was well; Kaien had warned her not to drink anything the queen gave her, because their son would be the heir to the throne and Ichigo's main competition, in the queen's eyes.

Nelliel knew that her pregnancy would be a great event within the castle and within the kingdom, it would move all the lines of succession and Ichigo would be further from the throne; both Nelliel and Kaien were aware that Ichigo wanted the throne, even though he said he didn't want it anymore. Nothing was certain at that time, everything would be defined when the king died and Nelliel still didn't want the king to die, because they could kill Kaien before her child was born and get rid of her no matter she was pregnant.

Previously, the time of mourning was a dangerous time when there was more than one pretender to the throne, that is why the rules that governed them at that time had been established, but nothing prevented Ichigo from wanting to restore them just to have the throne. Everyone knew the game they were playing, everyone was aware that their life was in danger one way or another, and that the only way to be completely safe was to kill one of the pretenders to the throne and make it look like an accident.

At that precise moment, the pretender to the throne that they had to kill was Ichigo.

Nelliel adjusted her clothes and lay down on the bed after the maids had extinguished most of the candles in the room and made sure that one of the balcony doors was covered with a curtain. The sea breeze coming up the cliff was cold, but the summer was hot and that way they kept the room cool at night.

The dream came quickly and Nelliel dreamed of her son in her arms, just as she imagined him, small and beautiful, with Kaien's green eyes and black hair. She was walking towards the temple of the Deities, there Kaien was waiting for her with a smile on his face, but Nelliel looked away for a second and Miyako appeared, just as beautiful as when she was alive.

Miyako was standing on the edge of the cliff, in the same place from which she had jumped, wearing the same dress that she had died in and with the wounds on her wrists where she had tried to kill herself before jumping. Nelliel was scared, she wanted to look away from Miyako but she couldn't. Nelliel was moving toward Kaien and found her feet guiding her to the cliff.

From one moment to the next, her little son was in Miyako's arms and Miyako was gently stroking the baby's face. Nelliel felt fear and despair run cold through her veins.

— My little prince. — Miyako's voice sounded sweet and spectral, almost motherly, as she looked at Nelliel's son who raised one of his little hands trying to grab something out of the air.

— Miyako, give me back my son. — Nelliel heard her own voice, desperate and fearful, and reached out to reach out for her son. Miyako looked at her, and the sweet face of that specter turned into an expression of fury.

— He's my son! You took my son from me, I'll take yours! — Miyako threw herself off the cliff again, with the little prince in her arms, both of them lost in the darkness of the abyss.

Nelliel screamed.

Nelliel screamed in the dream and screamed upon awakening from that nightmare. She was trembling, she was crying and she felt a cramp in her belly that was accompanied by something warm that came out between her legs.

That feeling filled her with terror.

One of the maids who guarded her door that night entered the room without even knocking, asking if she was okay, but Nelliel quickly uncovered her legs, finding a dark stain on the sheets.

— No! No! No! No! No Please! — Nelliel begged, feeling stronger and stronger cramps in her belly that made her clench her teeth to keep from screaming. — Call the doctor! Call the doctor now!

Nelliel felt the cramps in her belly more and more often, it was extremely painful and the despair and terror grew as the blood stain on the sheet grew larger. Nelliel pleaded with her trembling voice to the Mother to protect her and not take her son away, but with each prayer, a new cramp made her cry out in pain.

— Where is the doctor?! — She screamed looking at a maid, who was lighting the candles in the room to illuminate it all. Nelliel didn't know why the doctor was taking so long to arrive.

Nelliel felt pain and fear, but she no longer cried, because crying was accepting that what was happening was real and it couldn't be like that; what was happening must be just a bad dream within a bad dream. She closed her eyes trying to wake up from that bad dream, but again a cramp made her open them, feeling again that something was coming out between her legs.

The doctor arrived accompanied by a couple of other maids, and asked for water to wash her hands; she asked Nelliel to spread her legs and started doing her job. Nelliel felt stronger and stronger cramps, and she felt that her body was trying to get something out of her, but she was only clenching her teeth and clenching her legs preventing the doctor from doing her work.

Nelliel felt a new cramp followed by something that left her body; she didn't even have to make any effort, her body just expelled what she had to expel and the pain in her belly subsided. The doctor began to say something in a very low tone of voice, and Nelliel had the impression that it was some kind of song or poem that she did not understand until she saw the maidens make the sign of the Deities.

At that moment Nelliel began to cry with the inevitable truth about her, with a pain in her chest that she never thought could be felt; it was a pain and emptiness that made her cry like she had never cried before in her life. She felt that her soul was being torn inside, because although they had not told her, she knew that her child was not going to be born.

— Don't cry, my girl. Everything will be fine. — Nelliel didn't know when the Kahya had arrived, but she was there, sitting next to her, caressing her head tenderly and trying to comfort her.

The Kahya was the only mother Nelliel had ever known, and at that moment Nelliel clung to her with all her might, trying to mitigate the pain within her soul that only seemed to grow bigger and bigger as time progressed. She felt empty, sad, and unhappy; nothing would be alright.

Nothing would ever be right again.

— I'm so sorry, Your Highness. — It was the doctor's words before Nelliel began to cry again, knowing that this nightmare was true. — It was the will of the Deities.

The Kahya stroked Nelliel's hair with care, with that maternal gesture that she always had with her, and she was silent for a few moments before giving some orders to the maids who were there. Nelliel didn't know when the doctor left.

"The will of the Deities."

Nelliel could only cry, she couldn't find comfort at that moment, she just wanted to cry and sleep, and wake up knowing that it had just been a bad dream. Nelliel wanted the Kahya to tell her that her son was within her, that he would grow strong and healthy and that he would be a great prince. She wanted to believe that it was all a lie, that it was just a very vivid nightmare, because she still couldn't believe that in the morning she was laughing with the queen and at that moment she couldn't stop crying.

— My girl, I have to clean you up. — The Kahya whispered but no Nelliel couldn't get out of bed; she felt so weak and unwilling to move, that she just shook her head so the Kahya wouldn't make her get up. — Yes, I have to clean you up, and change your clothes, and change the sheets.

The Kahya's voice sounded sweet and motherly; Nelliel did not want to get up, although her thighs felt sticky from her blood, but the Kahya convinced her with sweet words and made her enter the bathtub that the maids had managed to get into her room; no man could enter there without permission of the queen, and less at that time.

Nelliel sat in the tub, the water was warm, and she was alone with the Kahya, who helped her bathe. Kahya sang very soft songs to Nelliel, the ones she used to sing to Nelliel when she was a child and the thunder scared her. Nelliel had stopped crying, she was just sitting in silence, staring at some point in the room, listening to the songs of the Kahya in the distance with a feeling of emptiness inside her chest.

The Kahya helped Nelliel dress in soft and comfortable clothes, helped her put on the cloth pads that would absorb the blood that could come out that night, and tucked her in bed; the maids had quietly changed the sheets before leaving the room.

— This is a nightmare? — Nelliel asked looking at the Kahya, her heart pounding, wanting the Kahya to tell her it was all a nightmare.

The Kahya looked at Nelliel and shook her head very gently; Nelliel started crying again, unable to hold back the pain anymore. If the Kahya said so, then it must be true, and that made it even more painful.

—

Kaien walked the corridors so fast that her robe billowed with every step she took. He was barefoot, he hadn't had time to put on shoes, and he had his robe on because he had slept with it while he was going through some documents that were no longer important at the time.

One of the servants had warned him that Nelliel had fallen ill and that everyone was very worried about her in the queen's area. Kaien could only think of the worst possible situations because he knew Masaki, he knew the queen, and he knew that she could hurt Nelliel and her child if she found out that Nelliel was pregnant. Masaki wanted Ichigo on the throne, and Kaien knew that the queen would do whatever she had to do to put her own son on the throne.

— Sorry, Your Highness, you can't come in. — The queen's guards guarding the entrance to the queen's area moved, preventing him from advancing further.

— Move over, I have to see my wife. — He said annoyed but the guards did not move, claiming it was too late to let someone pass.

Kaien was not in the mood to endure the stupidities of the queen's guard, so he hit the soldiers leaving them lying on the ground, maybe he had killed one, but that didn't matter. Kaien crossed the garden and climbed the stairs quickly, not caring about anything and headed towards Nelliel's room; the queen was leaving the room.

Masaki was the last person Kaien wanted to see at the moment, but there she was, in a nightgown and a worried expression; only the Deities could believe her that expression that was more false than the motherly love that she said she had ever professed for him.

— Kaien! — The surprise in Masaki's expression was something Kaien hadn't expected; surely she hadn't even thought of telling him that something had happened to Nelliel. — What are you doing here?

Kaien had to breathe before answering that stupid question the queen was asking him.

— I came to see my wife, obviously. — He was not going to waste time and words talking to the queen. He approached the door with the intention of opening it but Masaki stopped him by putting her hand on the door lock. — What? Is it an inappropriate time to see my wife?

— You cannot enter, she is ill and needs to rest. — The queen clarified. Kaien noticed that Masaki did not remove her hand from the lock of Nelliel's room preventing him from trying to enter.

Kaien stopped looking at the door and didn't try to enter Nelliel's room again; apparently the queen had no intention of letting him in. Kaien didn't like the queen's attitude, but he stood in front of the queen and tried to modulate his own voice before speaking.

— Is she just as sick as Miyako? — Kaien asked, with a calm that was just as dangerous as the look the queen was giving him at the moment. — Should I be concerned that she tries to cut her veins before she throws herself off the cliff?

The anger on the queen's face and the silence at those questions were all the confirmation Kaien needed to know that Nelliel was pregnant and had lost her child that night. They were both silent for a moment and Kaien again tried to open the door to Nelliel's room; the queen stopped him again.

— Get out of here, Nelliel needs to rest. She had an upset stomach; she will be fine in the morning. — Kaien didn't know why the queen bothered to lie; maybe she thought him stupid enough to think he was going to buy that lie.

— Will you tell the king that lie tomorrow so he won't find out that you killed another of his grandchildren again, mother? Isn't it enough for you to kill the king's mistresses? — The queen raised a warning finger for Kaien to say no more. — How many of the king's grandchildren have you killed with this one, mother? Two? Three?

The surprise in the queen's gaze was invaluable when he said that number; Kaien knew that he had found a well-kept secret from the queen and that she would prefer it to remain a secret. Masaki took her hand away from the lock without taking her eyes off him.

— This time it wasn't me. What happened was something that no one could avoid. — The queen paused. — Watch what you say Kaien, because you may find truths that you will not be able to bear.

Masaki left there and Kaien ignored those words, nothing that came from the queen's mouth could be true; Kaien knew that she would try to protect Ichigo tooth and nail, and if she had to lie and kill to achieve it, she would. Kaien entered Nelliel's room and found the Kahya sitting on the bed, gently stroking Nelliel's head as she slept.

The Kahya saw him come in and waved her hand to stop him making noise, she got out of bed carefully and approached him with soft steps so as not to wake Nelliel.

— She needs to rest, she didn't take it very well. She was really excited about… about the pregnancy. She cried herself to sleep; please… — The Kahya spoke and Kaien felt that old wound open up again. They were the kind of wounds that never fully healed.

— Don't worry, Mrs. Retsu; I just want to be with her. — Kaien clarified and the Kahya nodded after giving Nelliel one last look.

— Sorry, Kaien. I know how much you wanted… — The Kahya began to speak but did not finish the sentence; Kaien didn't know what to say and just kept silent. The Kahya was the one who had cared for the castle's orphan children; what the Kahya said would be difficult for Kaien to answer.

The woman left the room leaving him alone with Nelliel and he approached the bed; Nelliel was asleep and breathing softly. The sky outside the windows was pink, it was dawn, and the light in Nelliel's room allowed him to see that there were traces of dried tears on her cheeks.

Kaien knew the pain of having lost a child, and he knew the expression of suffering that Nelliel had at that moment despite being asleep; he had seen that same expression on Miyako's face when she told him that she had been forced to lose their son.

— My dear Nelliel. — He whispered stroking her head gently.

Nelliel shifted a bit in her place but didn't wake up. Kaien felt that open wound again and he didn't want to go through that again; he lay down next to Nelliel on her bed and snuggled her into his arms so that she could continue sleeping. Nelliel did not wake up and Kaien could see an empty cup on the small table next to Nelliel's bed, surely they had given her a tea to calm her so that she could get all the sleep she needed.

— I'm so sorry, my dear Nelliel. — He whispered very softly and felt that the lump in his throat prevented him from saying more.

Kaien felt his eyes burn and tears well up in his eyes. The last time he hadn't been able to protect Miyako from Masaki, and this time he hadn't been able to protect Nelliel either. Kaien felt guilty and the urge to cry was preventing him from breathing normally.

That brotherly feeling he felt for Nelliel had been changing, perhaps too fast in the last two months, perhaps he had refused to see her as anything more than his friend, but at that moment he could not see her as his friend anymore. Kaien was afraid of loving Nelliel, because the last person he loved had ended up dead; he didn't want to love Nelliel, he didn't want to because if he lost her, he felt like he was going to lose himself. Losing her was something he couldn't bear.

Thanks to everyone who has followed this story, and thanks to everyone who follows it. Thank you all very much for your comments and your PM.

Next chapter: Friday.