Chapter 17
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AN: This is a big one guys! Complete with some art I did for it over on the A03 version. Enjoy!
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The heat from the fan did nothing.
Kozlov just kept shivering.
On and on, fingers shaking and teeth clenched together lest they chatter.
For a polar bear's teeth to chatter was to give the game away to all of his kind and all of their allies.
To reveal the illness inside of you.
Or rather, here, the fear.
'Why now?' He asked himself. 'Why now?'
He was not facing monsters like before. The monster was long dead.
He would not be as alone like before. Surrounded by a brotherhood rather than a brother.
He wouldn't have no backup plans like before. He had an ace up his sleeve rather than blind, idiotic, lethal hubris.
He had grown older.
Maybe that was why he feared this so much more, if it really turned out to be what he feared. It might not be, it might just be a coincidence, tonight may well bring nothing but good news.
He wanted to hope, but could not bring himself to do so.
He was old, he knew that coincidences did not happen, he knew what happened when you missed something so stupidly obvious while underestimating the abject cruelty and indifference to life of those you faced off against.
His paw burrowed into his pocket and he closed his eyes, the white snow falling outside, cast in orange light shining down, was replaced with gray snow blasted up and torn through by blue light burning up. He could feel the blowing wind rip into a gale as the dark world pivoted and the ground raced up to hit only to miss, racing past with the shimmer of moonlight and stars and the fires on the ripples of the shallow waters beneath. And lifting up, leaving the carnage, his own figure, his own eyes, broken in failure and fear and terror and incomprehension looked back.
He opened his eyes, breathing in and out, and pulled his paw out of his pocket.
Was the same cruelty cast onto the bunny?
Had she understood?
It didn't matter, he told himself, as he opened the glove compartment and pulled out a necklace, a burnt and broken coppery pendant on its end, and pulled it around his neck. His eyes were fixed on a second one, still left in, resting on a piece of paper. A bottle of superglue poured over it, honey in a trap, he closed the compartment, left the vehicle and walked up towards the building in front.
A warehouse, by the look of it, utilitarian, cheap to rent, inconspicuous.
Walking on, he paused as another bear came near him, giving him a nod and a paw on the back. They carried on together, joined by a third, then a fourth, then a fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth… The river carried on growing as they entered in, heat washing over them along with the sounds of warmth.
Packs of bears, packs of brothers, Big's soldiers and foot mammals, lieutenants and enforcers, bears and the odd wolf or even an occasional musk ox. Bottles of drink were being handed around, laughter echoed up, whatever orders of hierarchy had existed in the old organisation had been wiped out, those at either end now conversing on this tabla rasa.
It didn't matter how high or low you had been. Those in the businesses that had been viable or at least had skills that could be transferred could carry on with their normal lives. Those without the skills, who had been there for muscle or been given jobs where they had no need to turn up thanks to their loyalty…
Well, here they were.
Waiting to see what this new hope, this new offer, might be.
And where they might end up in it.
But now, like chickens outside the slaughter house, they danced and clucked and ate and drank.
Especially they drank.
He could see and smell it already, and declined offer after offer.
He just found a corner and kept his eyes peeled.
Breathing in and out.
Working his fingers against his legs.
His phone buzzed and he checked it, putting it down and moving along, past thickly muscled soldiers looking a bit thin these days, mid cossack hopack. A fire escape was open, a few musk ox and a white dyed wolf in thick black shades walking in. Kozlov fixed his eyes on him immediately, but kept moving on, away, towards a small doorway to an old compressed air plant on the outside of the warehouse. A little jiggle on the handle, and he felt the door swing in. He left it there, texting back into his phone.
Pressing send he put it away, hoping to get this over and…
"AH, KOZLOV!"
Another bear roared it out, and Kozlov turned, grimacing a bit but then putting on a happy face. "Osip," he said warmly, paw out.
"Good to see you here," he said, as he slipped into their native tongue. "About time someone noticed our skill set. To think that ingracious little shrewlet chose to dispose of us like that, after all…"
"She had no choice," Kozlov cut in, glaring at him. "What she had left could not have kept us all in employment. She tried her best, and even if she hadn't I will not tolerate that disrespect to her, her family, her father."
The other bear growled a little. "If her father had taught her properly, and if she was not a cowardly little girl, then she could have kept us in employment! Like her father, for years…"
"-She wanted out. He wanted her out."
Osip spat on the ground. "And what about us, huh? Selfish little…"
"-New mother?" Kozlov cut in, pushing his head towards the other bear's face. He pushed back in retaliation and together they rose, nose next to nose, breath blowing over each other's eyes.
A grimace grew across Osip's face. "Maybe Big was even dumber than we thought. Even before the tax stuff, even before he let them in like an idiot, he had one daughter and just let it be at that? Pah, had he a son we'd be back to where we were right now! A son like my own, who knows about honour, who..."
"Is wasting away in prison, his parents without him and looking at his childhood being robbed from him" Kozlov spoke, eyes narrowing as he leant in closer. "You would want Big to go through that pain too?"
A grin grew on the other bear's face. "Mammals dared to disrespect us, and my boy sent a message they will never forget. And when the police sided with those worthless prey? He served his time like a bear, and in a year he will come home as a bear! More than any of Big's offspring will ever be. Big should have been honoured to have a son like that!"
"And if Fru Fru stepped into the ruins of what was left and was caught out," Kozlov began, only to be cut off.
"We would have served her and never been caught out!"
"If she went away for a year or ten or a hundred, does her little baby daughter deserve that?"
Osip settled back, a silent snarl on his face. "Little Judy has a father, yes?"
Kozlov kept his arms crossed. "She owed you, us, nothing."
"The bigs owed us EVERYTHING! AFTER WHAT WE DID FOR THEM! AFTER DEDICATING OUR LIVES! THEY JUST ABANDON US!" He stomped his foot down. "I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THAT FAMILY MEANT SOMETHING!"
Kozlov kept silent, staring him down, only giving the odd glance to those around them. A ring had formed, bears looking on, ready for whatever fight might occur. He rolled his eyes and scanned around the crowd; their allegiance was indecipherable. He snorted. "Do we look like Svalbard bears?" he asked.
A few sniggers, before one of them walked forward. "I do not hate Big, I do not hate Fru Fru. I am just disappointed." A rumble of approval came from around, Osip turning to face them.
"Then you are generous. Let those of us who gave all and came out with nothing be angry."
Kozlov felt ready to speak again, only for anotherbear in the crowd to beat him to the chase. "You still have your store."
"Pah!" Osip laughed. "Selling 'heritage' baskets and art, bits of wood and paint, for thousands of dollars? No normal mammal would buy that, none! The only customers I ever got was you after a shake down or collection round, and you know it."
A round of murmurs rose as Osip marched forward. "Big turned out to be fool who lose everything! Fru Fru abandon us! Those bears who could carry on in their 'legitimate' careers and business or get new job, they abandon us! We need new leader now! One who is strong, one who will pay us, one who knows how to work our operation. One who will show loyalty to us, lead us, and bring back the good times!"
The bears all around raised their fists, cheering and roaring, as Osip marched out in front of them. Kozlov was sorely tempted to reveal a certain something he knew, something they could and should know, not that they seemed to care. But no, now was not the right time.
That could come later.
They wouldn't hear him over the cheering right now, the paws stomping on the ground, the bottles clanking and the bass…
Kozlov's ears rose. Speakers in the building, drumming it out, in tune to the beating. The bears just heard it and pounded louder, feet stomping and fists pounding against their chest. Too much anger, too much drink, too much frustration and anticipation.
"Mammals! Bears! Giants from the icefields, brute force of the high north," a voice commanded, bringing up a roaring cheer. "I have summoned you here to give you purpose once more. To direct you in a masterplan for glory. To bring you to heights, that under the timid, dour, disappointment that was Mr Big, you could have hardly imagined!"
A spotlight lit up, casting an area on the other side of the warehouse in a bright light. A small office or storage building, and on top of it a flat roof, accessed by a stair to the side and bordered by thick metal rails. And up on it, a tiger and a pallas cat emerged. He gave a long cast over the room, as those in attendance crowded around, while she brought out a large stand. Kozlov kept to the back of the crowd, and so noticed as a portion of the roof was opened up, snow starting to drift in.
The speakers drummed out a deep marching tune, the crowd moving along to it. As the building shook, not even Kozlov could resist joining in, just a little. The lights blacked out, a projector started playing, the back of the warehouse lighting up with a camera's recording.
"You might wonder who I am? What kind of talent and intellect could earn the right to command mammals as loyal and true as you! Well, I am no stranger to this city. Before my vast travels around the world, I once held Little Rodentia in my grip and dined alongside your own former master. And now, I have returned."
The camera caught a jet black passenger drone drop through the hole in the roof, alongside a dozen more following, projected to all as they descended. "I have planned this for a long time."
The first slowly made its way down towards the waiting stand, while the others fanned out, catching the eyes of those in attendance. They paused, looking at them, before laughing, scrabbling, and cheering as they opened their bellies and began pouring out hundred dollar bills.
"A gift," he said, Kozlov's ears pricking at the unmistakable snigger in the voice. "And a token of appreciation, for serving your former master so well before he met with… ha, unfortunateness."
The bear's face scowled. It seemed his suspicions were less suspect by the second, not that the others cared, bumping about like stupid children, giggling, laughing and cheering as they picked up their bribe from the sky.
The main drone still hovered, slowly descending, giving them some time. Kozlov hoped dearly that some drunken fight might kick off and steal his thunder, but the joviality descended into only a few small bickers by the time it hovered just over its landing spot.
The roar of trumpets, and a flash of pyrotechnics from around it pulled their attendance back to the stand, the tiger and pallas cat bowing at its side. And, in a few seconds, the music slowly morphed. One or two of the bears might have recognised it as 'Red Right Hoof' by Nick Graze and the Baa'd Sheep, but they didn't care as the unseen mammal began to sing.
"A great leader once said, he's responsible,
Only to god, and then to history,
-But I will ride on the devil's wings!
My plans are filled with genius things!"
A bell from the music chimed ominously as the bass echoed out and a flare of sparks lit from each side of the stage, now shaking with the force of bears stomping to the beat. Through it all, the cabin under the drone opened up. Zoomed in on the back screen, the rat that emerged was dressed in a formal if gaudy suit, and strutted out like an emperor, taking in his crowd as he sung.
"You may wonder, who's this mystery…" he turned to clutch the extended paw of the pallas cat and caressed an extended claw, kissing it while giving a knowing look to the hidden camera.
"Who serving under people wish to be," he turned to the crowd, marching forward, paw in the air.
"This king of mice who commands,
After returning from far away lands,
Is none other than,
Professor Rat-Ti-Gan!"
Another echo of the bell, the base, and it was all drowned out by the roars and cheers of the bears. Kozlov snorted. Had it really been that easy? Bribes, music, drink and they were his?
But part of him felt the tremors of the room, and the electricity in the night. The rat had banked on these bears being those without hope, those who'd, seeing the 'drinks welcome' note on the invite, foolishly had many as they mingled. He knew that many of the bears knew that name in passing, if not by true reputation. And now they let the undercurrent of feelings pull them out to sea, while only his caution and cynicism kept him back.
But he knew that he felt the undertow on his legs, and he knew that in their place he'd be beating and cheering along with them..
Rattigan, the mammal Big had despised as a stain on crime, a stain on honour, a stain on rodents and on mammals, had played his cards perfectly for his return.
At the end of the day, all it had taken was the age old difference between regular villains and super villains like this rat..
Presentation.
How could he deny it, when he heard nothing but the roaring and cheers. Everything he was doing was promising something, something these mammals wanted.
Finally, Rattigan, as he looked around, strutting on his stand above them all, above the heads of his own pallas cat and tiger, raised his paws. "Foot soldiers of Big's empire! Evil eyed enforcers, thigh breaking thugs, formidable fencers and all those left behind when his promises fell apart and his daughter, his family, your family, left you like you were nothing! I am here with a simple request. You see, in my time, I have thought of some clever plans." He smiled, raising his fingers to his lips in a 'just right' motion, before glancing back. "I have devised schemes that have rattled minds both criminal…" he waved his arms up in the air, a cheer quickly catching on. "And… legal." A thumbs down was all he needed for a chorus of booing to echo out. "But now it is time to implement a new one, one which will make all of us." A hushed whisper cut in, the bears looking at each other. The rat smiled. "One that I promise will, in just a few months, pay you off more than Mr Big ever did in his decades wasted in command!"
He looked over them, paw open out. "Look at you all. Back in Little Rodentia, I looked out at Big's legions, the source of his power, and could only think of one thing. One thing. Just how wasted you were. Just how much more you could do. The heights you could achieve, the wealth you could obtain… the fun we could have while doing it all. So today I come to you and ask you to join me!" He was met with cheers. "Join me! That's right!" Kozlov saw his smile grow wide, light burning in his eyes, as they began cheering his name.
"Ratt-I-Gan! Ratt-I-Gan! Ratt-I-Gan!"
"Yes, yes, more! More! More! More!"
They did, and he basked in it, more drunk than anyone else in the room. He just hung there, eyes closed, breathing it in and out. Finally, though, the Pallas cat to his side whispered something into his ear and his eyes opened, glaring at her for a second before following a quick point of her claws.
In Kozlov's direction.
The rat's grimace vanished and, after a tiny peck to her paw, he looked at him, speaking through his microphone. "Gentlemammals, gentlemammals, I must humbly accept your gratitude and acceptance. -But, a good deed should never go unpaid. In your past, many of you have become highly respected, even reaching the arm of Big himself. Now, loyal as you were, there was no talk of a rapid crushing and take over, nooo…. And I like that kind of loyalty, and wish to reward it." He smiled a sickly smile. "Mr Kozlov. Please come up here."
The bear felt a hundred eyes turn to him and, breathing in, keeping his paws firm against his side and over his pockets, he walked on through the crowds. Standing himself up tall, raising himself so he was looking over a sea of white, he approached the stairs and climbed up them, feeling them shake and rattle as he ascended up onto the rat's stage.
The tiger still remained bowing below his master and the rat, tilting his head just a bit, gave a downward gesture.
Kozlov, full height, walked up to him and stood to a soldier's attention.
Rattigan's eyes narrowed and his lips folded back, teeth peaking out. And then he swallowed it, smiling. "Please, let me look into your eyes. Mammal to mammal, leader to leader."
And to that the bear opened his paw and held it out, ready.
The flash of rage boiled on his face once more, before he turned and jumped onto his tiger's head, the feline instinctively standing up, raising Rattigan above his head. "I always felt that the best conversations were had when two mammals talked to each other as equals," he said, looking ever so slightly down at the bear before idly glancing at his paws. "And as for your kind gesture, do not worry. I have no need to rely on other mammals to be moved around, and wouldn't wish to indignate mammals with such needless requests."
"Da," Kozlov replied. "My apologies."
He nodded. "Good to hear, good to hear," he said, grabbing onto one of the tigers ears, slipping down to the tip of his nose, leaning out and patting Kozlov's own. The bear watched as his eyes cast down and studied for a second, before he walked back up to the crown of the felids head. "Now then…" he said, looking back at the bear. "After so much time loyally leading your boys for one mammal, I'd like to extend to you the complete privilege of serving a second. Together, under my paw, we will all do amazing things."
"Is generous offer," Kozlov said, "but I am old and tired and have done my duty."
Rattigan's look slowly curdled.
"But if you wish, there are others out there who I can recommend to step into my paws." He paused, thinking over it for a second before deciding to just go with it, and turned to the crowd. "OSIP?!"
The bear's eyes widened, and he roared out. "Kozlov, at the end of the day you always come through! Rattigan? I would be honoured! Let me serve by your side!
The rat paused for a moment, before smiling. "Wait by the steps, my mammal. Once I am done with the past, I will move on to the future!"
A roar and cheer came up as the new underboss moved into position, the old underboss watching and waiting.
"Well," Rattigan carried on. "It is a shame to be losing someone of such history in this organisation." He paused. "I guess you wish to spend your time with a Mrs Kozlov, then?"
"There is no Mrs Kozlov," he said. "Just Kozlov."
"Ah, then I am sorry," he said, pausing. He turned to the pallas cat, who walked up and smiled. "I never thought I would find a mammal who had a compatible view on life as myself, but then I found someone with… ha… such a delicious take on life, as my dear Felicity here." He smiled, looking at the cat. "She is my princess, my queen, the one who I can truly confide in."
"And the same the other way, my king," she smiled, looking up.
"And for her, nothing is too good, is it," he said.
"Yes," she said, smiling. "Life is so short, and there is just so much to see, to do, to taste…" She liked her lips and gave a toothy grin. "I just love to be creative, to try new things, and the laws of the common mammal are just so… restrictive, for those like us, aren't they my love?"
"Indeed they are, indeed they are," he purred, closing his eyes and raising an appreciative finger.
"Indeed," Felicity carried on. "I... -Ooooh, what's that?"
Kozlov felt his throat hitch as she pointed out at his chest, and the necklace worn beneath it. "This?" he asked, putting his paw under and pulling it out. He looked at both the rat and cat as their eyes were pulled to it. "Is old thing, from old country. Has great value."
"Now you see, that's very interesting," the rat continued, beginning to pace back and forth on the tiger's head. "I once did some interloping and collecting in the palaces of the old tsars. Haughty old lions but with some rather splendid taste. I'm very fond of their wine. But I believe that thing there…"
"It was from a set owned by princess Anastasia," Felicity carried on. "I've seen pictures, I searched so hard but only found a small fragment."
Kozlov pulled it from around his neck and looked at it, before showing them. "Is damaged, da?"
They looked at the crack and discolouration, before looking at each other. "My dear, I will endeavour to have it restored to its full glory, if that is what you so wish."
She let her tail swing behind her. "It is my dear, it is."
Kozlov still looked on, unsure. "Does not look like belong to princess."
"It's not the design, it's the material," Felicity carried on. "It's little known, but Anastasia was interested in astronomy. The set was made from material recovered from the fragments of the Tunguska meteor."
"Extremely rare but valuable," the rat carried on, finger raised studiously. "Our one small fragment of recovered material was tested and proves it." He paused, "You know maybe it came from your part."
The bear did everything in his power to stop his eyes from rolling at that one. Had he not known the true origin, he could be swayed by the other lies and covering tales, but this? Denying the actions of his very own paws? "Maybe," he said. "Maybe."
"Mr Kozlov," Rattigan continued, putting on a mask of deference. "We would be forever grateful if we could acquire that item. Indeed, we will compensate you greatly." He looked up, eyes narrowing. "And whatever price you say is too low, we will ratchet up and test your resolve. Please, let us do this the easy way, not the hard."
Breathing in and out, the bear spoke. "What is your price, hmmm?"
"Ah," he said, "we have a spare bottle of the Tsar's old favourite tipple. A delightful and invigorating tonic. Surely you wouldn't deprive yourself of such an opportunity?"
Their eyes met and, huffing, Kozlov handed it over.
"Splendid!" Rattigan cheered. "Splendid, splendid, splendid." He brought it up to his nose and took a deep breath in, before lowering it down to his paramour. She did the same.
"Well, it seems a shame we will not get more acquainted," the rat waved off. "But instead, your wise successor. Please, arise!"
Osip bounded up the stairs to a round of applause, and Kozlov retreated, breathing out. He backed off and, pausing as he spotted a glare from the rat, made his way down to the floor level. Paws against his sides, he slipped through to the back, past patting mammals and little whoops.
Finally, free, he breathed out and fixed his eyes on the doors, only to find them closed.
His eyes narrowed, fixing themselves on the little doorway to the compressor room. He began walking towards it.
"Good move," a voice said. "But he has a lion out there with a tranq gun. A few others too."
His eyes turned and narrowed as he saw a white wolf with a pair of black glasses over his eyes. The scent of fur dye was unmistakable. "Ah," Kozlov said. "I wondered when you would make your move."
"What can I say, I wanted to know if you were the one."
"Well, if I was, not anymore," he dismissed, carrying on.
"And that fake…" he let out a long whistle. "Clever move."
He froze, leveling his eyes on him. "Fake?" he half laughed. "Whatever do you mean?"
"Ah, now. Wise mammal say, mammal who keep paw over pocket has something important inside."
Kozlov gripped his pocket tighter.
"And for someone who keeps a death grip on this, only handing it to those he trusts the most rather than leaving it alone… Now, would you really hand it over for a promise of some fermented grape juice? Nahhhhh…"
"Do you know what it even is?" Kozlov asked, letting his muzzle fold up with anger.
The wolf nodded. "I've been informed. Now, easy way or hard way. Whatever ratty boy up there wants to do with it, my boss wants to stop him."
The bear shook his head. "And what about you?"
The wolf's ears perked up. "Ah, now there's an interesting one. You could say I have my own motives, but they are funnily enough mutually inclusive with my bosses. In theory, at least. Not gonna try it."
"Forgive me if I'm skeptical," the bear waved off, turning away only for a call to beckon out from all around.
"KOZLOV!?"
The bear let out a breath as he turned, looking up to the stage. The wolf, looking like he was staring him down and ready to grab, whispered through his breath. "Offer still open."
"You know," the rat carried on. "After how loyally you served ol' Mr Big. After how gracious you seemed. After how unfathomably kind, and generous, and just… stupidly NICE! -We were…" he was heaving with every breath. "It's such a pity you had to ruin it with a dumb little switcharoo like that."
All eyes were on him, the bears advancing, the wolf getting subsumed into their mass. "I do not understand."
"That thing you gave us, is made of brass and copper," he carried on. "It was not, how do you put it, the GENUINE article!"
Paws out, Kozlov shrugged. "I am sorry. Did not know it to be valuable before, then heard it was then, turns out it isn't. Must have been fake all along. You can keep your wine, enjoy."
"What's in your pocket then?"
He froze, looking down. His paw was gripping it. "Nothing."
"Turn out your pocket."
"There is nothing in there…"
"Turn out your pocket!" he demanded. "That was an order."
Kozlov sneered. "I do not work for you. After all, someone faked the heel in Mr Big's achilles. Orchestrated his fall. I feel I am looking at him now."
Rattigan burst out laughing., "Oh the mad ravings of a guilty mammal. Now, it's very simple, easy way or hard. Turn out your pocket and give us what's in it, or we'll make you. Because if you, the most loyal of bears is like this, how can I trust all these other mammals?" The bears turned to each other. "Or, do you have more loyalty to Big the abandoner than your friends, your fellows, those who need your trust and honesty right now?"
"Don't listen to him," Kozlov said, only for the boom of Osip's voice through the microphone to scream out.
"Just do it!"
And, looking into the eyes of the bears around him, Kozlov let out a shudder before glaring at them with a look of disgust. "I thought loyalty meant something," he snarled.
"It does!" Osip called through his microphone. "Be loyal to us now. You can't run, the doors are closed."
His eyes narrowed "Why do you think…" Cut out by the angry screaming of the other bears he sighed. Into one pocket his paw went, bringing out his phone. He tapped something, then put it back. "Bye."
And then he ran.
For a moment, the other bears just stood there, gawking.
And then Rattigan spoke. "Is that your master plan!? That isn't the way out."
Kozlov kept on running, towards the doorway into the compressor room.
"Oh, you foolish ursid. Is this some kind of proud, obligatory action?"
Kozlov kept running into the compressor room, and shut the door.
The rat just sighed. "Or are you just planning to hide in there, like a little baby cub?" He held his head and shook it. "Really, what did Big see in you?"
Inside, Kozlov thrusted a heavy bar through the door and dusted his paws. "My planning of redundancies," he muttered, smiling. The whole place was barely taller than he was, and barely wide enough for him to sit down in. The heavy compressor hugging the brick warehouse wall none-withstanding.
"Just… Right, break down the door and get him out," he heard Rattigan announce over the speakers. The bear inside just turned to the outside walls, thin metal sheeting bolted onto the wall via wingnuts on the outside. He pushed against one of the panels, it bended and buckled but stayed attached to the metal frame.
He began to move over to the next one, when the slam of a polar bear stampede hitting the other side of the main door rang out, shaking the little annex. Amidst the groans of compressed ursids, Kozlov heard a rattle and, looking over at a certain panel, smiled.
Of course, the great thing about wingnut bolted panels was that someone could easily undo them in advance from the other side.
Paw out, he gave a gentle push at the offending panel watched it slide off its bolts, drop slightly as it cut into the snow outside, before it tipped over and settled with a satisfying crunch.
One cut off as another pounding of the bears trying to get in rang out.
Kozlov stepped out, picked up the sheet, slid it back on so as to confuse the enemy, and then took off across the grounds, running on all fours straight to a nearby chain link fence. Beyond it was a forested embankment down to a nearby road, and down there, freedom! Down in the corner, just as he expected, it was shaking slightly in the breeze, and he charged through the clipped out barrier, bashing it and folding it out of the way with his head and then ploughing through the scrubs and undergrowth on the other side.
Twigs snapped and snow bashed up and branches were torn off, all while the fence rattled as it sprung back into place. But he was in cover now, he could get out and…
PING…
A chunk of bark exploded above him, raining down as the moonlight caught a glimmer of metal dart embedded in. Kozlov hissed, that wolf had mentioned a sniper outside!
But as he slid down the rest of the way, it didn't matter.
He was out, dammit.
Paw in pocket, confirming he hadn't actually lost the thing that the rat must not have, he let the speed push him back up onto two legs and ran the west of the way. Below, behind a transformer box, was a vehicle to get him out. And the one bear he knew he could trust to do this. "VASILY!"
Looking up, face covered in his strange white, shuttered glassless sunglasses and with his heavy golden chain necklaces proud on display, the tracksuit clad mammal held both paws up above him and cheered. "VOLEGOGRAD'S GREATEST VOVE MACHINE!"
"That still make no sense!" Kozlov cheered, as they turned the corner to get in the car, and the fleeing polar bear's joy vanished. He looked up in anger as Vasily got to his drivers side door.
"Vat? Get in?" he asked.
"I said we needed fast vehicle!" Kozlov spat, throwing his paws down at the boxy, chipped enamel covered machine in front of him. "Not Laikda Riva!"
"This no ordinary Laikda Riva!" Vasily said, giving a paw slam to the roof, a large concave the end result. "THIS IS THE BLYATMOBILE!"
In he got, Kozlov, for lack of a better option, squeezing into the passenger seat. Legs bunched up against the dash, arms crossed tight so he could get the door closed, his head compressed against the ceiling so tightly that a slight bang rang out, the newly formed dent pinging out. "Get us out of here, now!" he barked.
"BLYATMOBILE! GO!"
Key went into the ignition, and the engine ticked over.
The engine ticked over.
The trees started to shake as a horde of polar bears began emerging, rolling down.
The engine ticked over.
"VASILY! WE HAVE PROBLEM!"
"No problem," he waved off, as a car driven by a lion emerged up ahead, racing towards them.
"VASILY!"
With a sputter, the engine croaked to life, drowned out by the screaming of the highly upgraded stereo sound system. "RA-RA RATSPUTIN! LOVER OF THE FURUSSIAN QUEEN!"
"I LOVE THIS ONE!" he cheered, as they slowly pulled out and began rolling down the road, gravity playing overtime to help them pick up speed. Sweeping around a corner, they were straight in line for the approaching lion. Vasily smiled, turned as if going to avoid, and then slammed down the brakes, hard.
The lion saw it, immediately turning to adjust.
In a few seconds, the Laika shed a tiny fraction of its speed, and the overcompensating lion zoomed straight past.
Uncovering his eyes, Kozlov glanced back at the bizarre spectacle as they, very slowly, began picking up speed again.
"SEE! No Problem!" he chirped, now patting the wheel to the song as they screamed along at a car rattling forty miles per hour.
A large bang rang out, and Kozlov glared venomously at Vasily. "What was noise?"
Peering over the steering wheel, the other polar bear shrugged. "Front bumper fell off."
The venomous glare increased.
"Don't worry, was replacement front bumper that fell off. Made of cardboard, and cardboard derivative!" He leant over and gave his passenger a little appreciated pat on the shoulder. "Is all good now." And then he broke out into song once more. "BUT THE LADIES BEGGED DON'T YOU TRY DO IT PLEASE! NO DOUBT THIS RATSPUTIN, HAD MANY HIDDEN CHARMS…"
Kozlov meanwhile was more focused on the mirror, and the increasing number of approaching cars coming up to him. "Vasily," he said.
"Da?"
"Problem. We all die now, YOUR FAULT!"
Turning the wheel, he pulled onto the main road, filtering himself into the flow of traffic. Rolling along between a bunch of other cars, he watched as the attacking lion came up, tried to bash their rear end out of the way, only to struggle and slip, all as the blaring of other vehicles' horns rang out. A tweak at the wheel, they slipped out, the felines vehicle rolling off the road and into a snowdrift. It shook as it tried to get back on the tarmac, only for a van to move up and block his way, the angry caribou driver staring him down. "We not die," Vasily smiled. "We on main road, what worst they can do?"
The van kept on at a level pace to the lions car, the driver now sticking his head out the side and yelling for the feline maniac to stop. Said rant was quickly cut off as the cervids vehicle was smashed to the side by a following polar bear sized machine, two more of its kind following on and carrying on the pursuit.
"That," Kozlov said, groaning.
"And how long until ZPD sees mayhem and sends cruisers in?" Vasily spoke, smiling.
Kozlov paused, smiling too. "I see your plan.
"Da. You do!"
"Is still moron plan!"
A jet black luxury offroader rumbled up to their side, ready to sideswipe them off the road completely. It loomed over their tiny rattling car, tinted windows showing no emotion, and then attacked. Kozlov felt his own tiny vehicle jolt and shudder as its attacker attempted to push it off the road while Vasily, still singing, didn't care in the slightest.
As if seeing the passenger raise a complaint about imminent death, the driver just pointed ahead to an approaching vehicle, horn blaring and brakes screaming. It did its best to slow down, the black mafia mobile to their side did its best to push the Laikda off the road.
There was a crash, and the Laikda was no longer being pushed off the road. "See," Vasiliy insisted, as he turned onto a four lane street filled with significantly more traffic. "On normal road at normal speed, they can not harm us."
He pulled to a stop at a pair of traffic lights, another black vehicle a few cars behind. Both driver and passenger leapt out, ran up to them, and yanked at the door handles.
They were locked.
The lights turned green, Vasily drove off, the attacking bears began racing after, trying to haul open the doors and then trying to physically pull back the car. Despite its pitiful efforts, it still pulled ahead, the attackers being fatally limited by their grip and falling off. Vasily just hooted his horn, and carried on. "See. Normal speed, normal road, normal traffic. They can do nothing. It is when you go fast you make mistake!"
For a moment, Kozlov looked relieved, only to be broken off by a horrifying sound.
"AND THEN THEY SHOT HIM TIL HE WAS DEAD!"
Vasily was singing, again.
Thankfully, that song was now over, and with seemingly no dangerous mammals in pursuit, it seemed that the low speed chase was over.
"HA. HA. HA. HA…"
Kozlov's eyes widened as the song started from the top.
"IS OWN SOUND SYSTEM!" Vasily boasted. "IS NICE! HA. HA. HA. HA…"
To which Kozlov just pressed one of the other 'radio' buttons, switching to something disturbingly similar..
"MOSKAU, MOSKAU, WIRF DIE GLASER AN DIE WAND!"
He pressed it again.
This time, there was nothing for Vasily to sing too. Unfortunately, the loud electronic harbass made up for it. 'Dun-dun-dundundun-duh-duh dun dun dunnu dunnu…'
The whole vehicle creaked as it shook back and forth from Vasily's bouncing. "XS PROJECT VODOVOROT!"
All around the street, mammals turned to see the hard house transmitting, back and forth rocking, Laikda rolled down and past them. Were Jack Savage here, he would have noted that they would always remember today as the day they saw 'the Furussian party car'.
Kozlov, meanwhile, changed the 'radio' once more, Vasily singing along. "KALINKA, KALINKA, KALINKA MOYA!"
He changed it again.
More electronic dub music, only this time… with lyrics. "OPA OPA O-PA-PA!"
Kozlov wearily looked at the sixth and final button with dread. Knowing he's regret it beforepaw, he pressed it anyway. Both he and Vasily were blasted back by a pair of trumpets, before an all too familiar tune began to play, Vasily raising up a paw in salute as he sung. "SOYUZ NERUSHIMY, RESPUBLIK SVOBODNYKH… SPLOTILA NAVEKI VELIKAYA RUS."
As if to prove the point further, a little red flag somehow began winding its way up the seemingly pointless radio antenna fixed to the bonnet. It only got halfway before it jerked to a halt with a grinding sound, but Kozlov guessed it was the thought that counted.
He could live with this one, for now.
After all, given the very large pack of cars picking their way between traffic and coming up right behind them, and in front of them, that didn't seem to be very long. He even felt a bit irritated that they wouldn't get to the third verse (his favourite).
Vasily, seeing the oncoming hoard from either side, just waited… and then turned around into a one way street. The sound of braking and a few of the vehicles crashing into each other sounded out from behind them, but a pack still managed to make their way down the road, chasing them single file down the alley. "See, no problem."
"Maybe if we were in faster car, we could outrun them," Kozlov pointed out. "This car even slow for Laikda."
"Ah, is extra weight," Vasiliy explained. "Weight means momentum means survival. See, watch."
Kozlov paused to see a smaller car park up at the end of the alley, a grey wolf stepping out and grinning at their blocked escape route. Vasily just put his paw down harder, the engine screamed to the point they couldn't even hear the song (naturally, the third verse), and the walls raced past, getting narrower as they began clipping one mirror or the other as the car got in line. The wolf's confident expression faded a little.
And then was wiped from his face as the Laikda just smashed aside the blocking car and carried on its way, four smaller black cars racing past after it.
The fifth was significantly wider, and the wolf flinched down as the scream of metal rang out, followed by a chorus of bangs, crashes, and horns.
The rumble of a motorized sledge bike cut through the air as a white wolf with shades drove up to his fellow lupine. "Bears… I mean why do we bother, right?" he asked.
The other wolf looked at him, blinking. "And you are?"
"Oh me?" he asked, smiling. "I'm the big BAD wolf! And duty calls." And with that, he zoomed off after the remaining pack.
Back in the Laikda, Kozlov had a raised eyebrow. "I think I get. So what, you put pile of bricks in back?" He looked down to see a large blanket covered mass there, then up at the approaching vehicles. "Maybe we can throw them?"
"Not bricks," Vasily said. "Ivar."
Kozlov blinked. "Ivar?"
The blanket was pulled off, a massive tattooed walrus getting up in the back seat. "Ivar not brick but happy to be thrown!" And with that he pushed open the back window, leapt out, and crashed into the leading vehicle, piercing the windscreen with his tusks before knocking the two polar bears heads together with his flippers and then grabbing hold of the steering wheel. It swiped right and knocked the car there enough for it to clip into a wall, smashing to a stop and then getting squeezed like a soda can as the car behind it didn't stop in time.
Ivar leapt over to finish them off, looking back and giving a salute as the Laikda raced off around the corner, Kozlov giving a weak, slow, confused salute back, before slowly settling down in his seat, gazing left and right a few times and very much convinced that he'd missed something..
Vasily looked over at him, and smiled. "Hey, idiot. Close window."
Slowly looking to him, Kozlov nodded. "Da…" He leant back, reached in, and tried to pull the back window, evidently modified for this very purpose some time in the past, closed.
The smash of the final pursuing vehicle hitting them smashed it off.
"You do job?" Vasily asked, pausing as Kozlov returned to the front, a tiny fragment of window and frame still in paw. "Eh, not great, not terrible.".
"Please don't say that," Kozlov said, settling back and giving his arm a blood drawing pinch.
He pinched even harder.
He let go.
"Blyat…"
"-MOBILE GO!" Vasily yelled, as he put the foot down. Unencumbered by two tons of walrus in the back, the acceleration was no longer terrible. It was bad!
With a jolt, it even seemed to be reasonable, but looking behind that last burst was revealed to be a 'helping' push from the last remaining pursuit vehicle.
"One left, Kozlov!" Vasily announced, smiling.
"Da," the bear said, pausing. "I did not realise our fellows were this… talentless."
"Pa! It is the glory of the Blyatmobile they cannot handle!"
Another jolt rocked the vehicle, and the underside to the dash in front of Kozlov fell out, disembowelling a mess of wires and switches onto his lap. "Right…"
Another jolt hit them as the pursuing car swung around in a pit-manoeuvre, trying to swing their rear out from behind them and send them spinning. This time, they got it, the world twisting around the two bears as they ground to a halt, facing the wrong way.
Vasily put themselves in gear and carried on back down the other way, ignoring the bear running at the side and trying to pull the door open.
A paw smashing at the window and bouncing back was a bit harder to ignore, the bear turning and sticking his tongue out.
Kozlov tapped his own window. "Did not know they were so good."
"Aftermarket extra!" Vasily boasted. "From Tundratown limo left over. Only best for blyatmobile."
There was a slam as a different bear leapt onto the front of their car, roaring at Vasily.
He pulled a lever down and a windscreen wiper came up and batted his head one way.
He pushed it up, the wiper went back the other way.
Rince, repeat, rince, repeat.
All as their speed slowly increased, to the point where the bear on the side gave up and began running back to his own vehicle. And a whole squad of them turned around a nearby corner, having pulled out of the alley from before.
Kozlov glanced to the side. "Now what?"
Vasily stroked his chin a little. "Hmmmmm…" And then, eyes widening, he jerked the wheel to the side, pulling them off the road and down a pathway going through a park.
There were some screams from a few patrons still in there, and lots more flashes as phone cameras were up and recording. The Laikda struggled to find a way through them, given the bear-blocked view, but it was thankfully slow enough for them to dodge it.
Vasily, glancing out of his side mirror, did his best, smiling as he lined themselves up to the edge of the path, so close that tree branches began scraping the side of the car.
And then he got closer, clearing a path through the low hanging vegetation.
Or rather, getting a hitchhiking bear's rear end to clear a path for them.
Numerous whines, jolts, grunts and yells came out of him, all while his face was pulled into a montage of strange pained faces. Each one a perfect target for the ever batting wipers.
Finally, with a particularly large yelp, the bear slid right over the top of the vehicle, his screams joined with the snap of the branch that launched him over.
Vasily pulled back out into the centre of the path, before spotting the oncoming horde of vehicles right behind them and swinging right into the forest, jolting and shaking as they began rolling down a bumpy slope, weaving between the trees as they went.
The various black beasts turned in after them, clearing the terrible terrain and slashing the distance faster than ever before.
Until freezing as they got blocked or wedged in by the thick copses of trees.
More and more, the wider, heavier vehicles found themselves held up just like they'd been at the alley before.
But some were finding their way through, some were narrow enough to weave a path just like the Laikda, and some were just big, bad and heavy enough to fell the odd small trunk that got in their way.
They were joined in by bears abandoning their vehicles, marching on after, a whole army raised and chasing after the fleeing vehicle.
Kozlov looked at them in the mirror, glad that they'd be able to race in front of most of them back when they got on the level again.
The front lifted out of its dive, Vasily put his foot down, and they ground to a halt.
Kozlov looked forward and saw a wide, snow covered expanse in front of them, the deep powder easily enough to defeat the futilely spinning rear wheels of the Laikda. "And you have added what for this?"
Vasily scratched his head. "Nothing…"
Kozlov moved to open his door, only for the driver to cut him out.
"AS THERE IS ORIGINAL FEATURE!"
He pushed his seat back, ripped off the carpet from the footwell, and revealed a rusted out hatch. "You too," he instructed, looking to Kozlov. The bear uncovered his own hatch, before following Vasily in undoing his belt and slipping his feet through. One paw on the ceiling above, one under the dash, the driving bear smiled. "Now we… how do you say in this country? YABBA DABBA DOO!"
Together, feet through the floor and in the snow, they lifted up the car and began carrying it forward across the plain.
In complete contrast to Kozlov, Vasily was ecstatic. "Of course they steal this from us for their kit cartoon, Da?"
Kozlov just looked on, eyes closed and not bothering with any response.
"Of course they steal and copy everything from us. Except Cola. That from East Germans, I see documentary film."
"Right…"
"Oooh, and rollercoasters. We do EVERYTHING! But not rollercoaster, that just silly."
"Da. Silly…" Kozlov said, as helped to walk a Laikda Riva with manual windscreen wipers and the Soeviet anthem playing on loop across a snowy field while being chased by a large cohort of ex-mafia polar bears in large, heavy, racing towards them offroaders. "So, what next?"
"We go to secret safehouse."
"I mean about them," he gestured, back to the mass of black automobiles and running bears, all grouped together in a horde.
"I have plan."
"Really?"
They were broken off as a resonating twang boomed through the air, reverberating out as it echoed through the ground, before bouncing back louder than ever. Kozlov and even Vasily shared a combined look of instinctual fear, only for it to relax, ear splitting grins growing on their faces.
Another twang pinged out, another echoed, another reverberating and then, far quieter than all else, a crack rang out. They glanced back to see one of the massive offroaders suddenly lurch to the side, a flurry of snow kicked up in its wake. The doors opened and the drivers leapt out, as a second and third crack rang out and then the vehicle vanished down into the white.
Various other bears and cars tried to pull away from it, but a dozen or so more pings rang out, and then a flurry of cracks ripped through the air as the ground gave way around them. Cars tipped over to the side and water was thrown up into the air, as the ice on the lake Vasily had led them onto gave way under their weight.
The bear who'd orchestrated the masterpiece, paw thrusting down onto one of the 'radio' buttons, had only one reaction. "OPA OPA OP-PA-PA!"
They climbed up onto the other bank, lay the car down on the road, and carried on off, leaving those few bears who'd managed to avoid falling in or had climbed back out far behind. None of them noticed a faint hum up in the air.
But high above, looking down, a certain rat saw all of them.
"IDIOTS!" Rattigan yelled, clutching his paw into a fist and banging it against the wall of his drone cabin. "USELESS! STUPID! INCOMPETENT! I even considered you a noble culture, if disparaged by a bunch of stereotypes seemingly concentrated in this case in one, obviously surplus to requirement, individual. But then that ludicrous parody discard from my plans came back from nowhere and humiliated you! Are you even the same mammals that conquered the Third Reich!? Urghhh… Hirschler should have won…" He turned away from the controls and clutched his head in his paws. "If they're all THAT much more pathetic than my own mooks, what hope do I even have? Is everyone in this city this damn pathetic! Incompetent! Useless…" He grabbed his controls and began flying off, keeping track of the Laikda as it turned off its lights and retreated into one of the most rural areas of Tundratown. "If you think you can escape," he warned, cutting through the air. "Then you will find that I, a king of mice, is infinitely more competent at this than those useless ursids." He stomped his foot. "Are there even any left?"
"The ZPD arrested two for reckless driving, but the rest are dispersing," came a voice over his radio.
"Yes, to carry on their uselessness. EVERY plan I had is now up in the air Felicity! Gone! Shredded! Annihilated by the abject incompetence of those I am forced to rely on." He hissed. "If they can't do this, what hope do we have for project chaos, yet alone our dreams!" He grinded his teeth. "I want to bring in the General."
"No," Felicity cut in.
"And what are your suggestions?"
"Firstly, I got the impression that those bears weren't trying their hardest here. I think they were putting on a good show for us, but most didn't put complete effort into taking in one of their former leaders."
"So they're disloyal."
"I'm sure they'd argue that that's a matter of perspective," she said. "But regardless, fighting for project chaos they won't have that conflict of interest."
"Yes, only to humiliate ourselves further and further than they have tonight. With this level of competence, how did Big even raise his empire?"
"There were many more competent ones who've used that to retire from crime," Felicity pointed out. "And these mammals were very heavily inebriated given our suggestion for them to drink beforepaw."
The rat's eyes widened for a second, before he grumbled. "So tactical weakness that ensured strategic victory," Rattigan mumbled. "IF I get that damned necklace. He has it, he knows what it is, I need it!" He hissed. "I'd send Fidget after it, if he wasn't in the middle of his little operation across the sea right now. Gahhhh!"
"Well, you can still spy where they go," she said. "Fidget can return and make the steal. Or, you surround him. And next time we use the bears, they'll be sober AND have the one thing that will ensure a swift, brutal, bloody victory."
"And what might that be," he mumbled.
"Guns. Lots and lots of guns."
Rattigan couldn't help but snigger. "Of course, of course. Oh those oblivious idiots, thinking they've won, they've got away. No… The minions failed, but I have succeeded."
He pushed the controls forward, only for the world to smash to the side, spinning around him in chaos. Rattigan, torn from the controls, felt the tumbling walls smash into him and the feeling of weightlessness. Then he was smashed brutally into the side wall, they tumbled, more smashes, before he was pressed down hard into the ceiling.
The world spun.
His body ached.
Shaking, he got up, Felicity's panicked voice coming in. "Are you still ali…"
"YES!" he yelled. "What in the devil was that!?"
"I don't know," she said, as he walked to the door and hauled it open, meeting a wall of snow. He began digging. "I heard the sound and looked up to see the drone torn out of the sky and tumbling down. Something hit you."
His head bursting into the cold air, he looked back and hissed as he saw the thick, heavy ropes tangling up his machine. "A net! Someone launched a net at me. Who!?"
"Best guess is those stupid do gooders our foxy friend brought in like fleas," Felicity said. "I've got your location, I'm coming to meet you."
"Yes. And those ursids are getting away with the necklace!"
"We'll find them," she reassured.
"Yes, we will," he said, cracking his knuckles. "And they, and whoever did this, will pay. They will pay!"
And far off, in a thicket of woods, a white dyed wolf put away his net launcher and opened up his communicator. "As we feared. The bears have it and got away. I even netted that rat's drone." He almost added that it reminded him of the old times, but he refrained.
"Good," his boss said. "Try and track down the rat, and the bears. Either way, we stop them."
"Yes sir, though maybe next time we could use an explosive net. I think I've proven that those have a reason to exist now," he said, starting to move forward into the snow.
"You act as if I couldn't make one for you."
"I act as if I'm annoyed that I hadn't thought that I needed something not on the market. But hey, hindsight right?"
"Do you want me to make one or not!?"
"I mean, it would be cool."
"Just get that rat."
"Yes boss," he grumbled as the cold hit his paws. Why did the mammals in this place prefer to go barefoot? While he did tend to go barefoot in most places, he couldn't deny that appropriate footwear could be comfy and beneficial to moral. But no, he had to blend in here and that meant no warm booties. And it wasn't like there was a warm fire anywhere or molten metal being forged together into delightful weapons of war to warm his fur. No sir! Urghhhh… Regardless, duty called. Chances were that rat would be gone before he had a chance of locating him, buuut he had to put in the optics.
And who knew, he might get lucky…
…Right?