Chapter 30

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"Well," Nick surmised, getting back into the car. "That was an interesting waste of time."

Judy nodded, sitting down next to him. "Think someone was trying to piggyback him off the actual case to get him in trouble? Pun retroactively intended."

"Oh probably," Nick waved off. "Heard how much others got lumped in with the trouble from Kris' case, thought they could tie in someone they didn't like. And I can guess a lot of mammals wouldn't like our concerned citizen back there."

"Yeah," Judy snorted. "Not as if we didn't meet one right before?"

"Well, nothing lost, nothing gained," Nick said, looking over his elbow before pulling out into the street.

There was a silence in the car for a second, before Carmelita spoke. "Take us back to the ZPD."

"Huh?" Judy asked, looking back.

"I said take us back to the ZPD. I want to check something out."

"I guess there's nothing better to do," Nick said, turning the car around. "I mean, do you think you know who sent that letter?"

"No," she said, "but I'm pretty certain I know our 'Snowball's' connection to the rest of the case."

"So wait, should we go back and get him?" Nick asked. "If he's involved or funding…"

"No, not him," Carm said, pausing for a second. "If I'm right I'll be really disappointed that you don't see it."

Judy's nose couldn't help but twitch. "See what?"

The red fox vixen opened her mouth to speak, only to cut herself off, letting a smarmy look to grow across her muzzle. "I'll give you a hint. Think back to the first time you heard of a big secret criminal leader."

Judy looked to Nick and Nick to Judy. They then both looked back to their passenger, frustrated looks on their muzzle. Carm just smiled further.

Half an hour or so later…

"I'm going to enjoy it when this turns out to be a coincidence or something," Nick said.

"You don't even know what it is yet," Carm smiled, opening up the computer and searching through the records of interviews.

"Because you won't even tell us," Judy said.

"I mean, you really should have made the connection," the interpol inspector replied.

She imagined a grey furred raccoon behind them, leaning down, paws patting on their shoulders. "I mean my travels in the fourth dimension may have skipped around him, but I would certainly know."

"Connection to what?" the bunny asked. "Some obscure case file you saw…"

"A rather large one," she replied, eyes narrowing in as she read the document.

"I mean there are lots of those," Nick said. "They can all get mixed up and…"

"And you were both there to see it go down in the fur," Carmelita said.

She imagined a certain procyonid backing her up. "Compared to reading one of many of those documents, as my dear vixen and myself had."

The sound of the Zootopian cops grumbling perked her smile up, as did a small voice piping up. "I heard you found something," Basil said, walking in with Dave.

"She says," Judy stressed. "She also says we should have totally gotten it."

"And is holding 'it' above our heads," Nick said. "I mean come on, whatever it is we can't have gotten it. Be we bunny, fox, mouse…"

"Well don't paint us with the same brush here," Basil waved off. "Keep that to you and your bunny."

"Naturally," Nick said, folding his arms and cocking his head as he gave the mouse a smug look. He gave his tail a swish and his eyebrows a double rise. Basil sniggered back.

"Anyhow," the mouse carried on, walking over. "What's the enigma?"

Judy pulled out the letter. "We got this anonymous tip this morning and chose to check it out."

Basil looked at the paper and scratched his head. "Why is it made out of cut up newspaper pieces?"

"Don't they have a printer or something?" Dave agreed.

"Regardless," Basil said, looking up. "I presumed you investigated."

"That we did," Carmelita said. "To our surprise, we found a seemingly normal pig, who then turned out to be a post capitalist ex-commune member. More over, one that apparently ended in disaster and potentially mass murder out in Bunnyburrow."

"Wait, that one?" Dave asked, eyes going wide..

"Unless there were two, Sí."

"You might have to fill me," Basil said.

"I mean I've heard it invoked here and there in the past. Though I guess never the actual specifics."

"Well I just missed it completely," Basil shrugged off.

"In that case," Judy said, "you'll struggle even more than us. I mean I've got no clue what's going on, and I remember bumping into a few of the mammals of that place long ago."

"Did you now?" Dave asked, ears going up.

"Yup," the bunny said, popping the P for effect. "And no clue how that ties 'Snowball' or 'Napoleon' or anyone else to this case."

"Snowball?" Dave asked.

"Napoleon?" Basil chirped.

"Yeah," Judy said, "their new names. Snowball for the one we met, Napoleon for the one who ran the thing until its fiery end."

The two mice nodded, before Basil jumped up. "Oh, it's all elementary."

It took Dave a second longer. "Haha, oh I didn't expect that to come back around."

Nick and Judy's jaws hit the floor as the pair scurried up to Carm, whispered in her ear, and received a high four-meets-mini-five. "Bingo!" They all turned over to the frustrated bunny and fox pair, looking increasingly frustrated. Carm turned down to the mice. "Shall I put them out of their misery?"

Looking back at the screen, Dave stroked his chin. "We can give them one more bone to chew."

"Right," Basil said, looking over. "Remember Kazar?"

Nick scratched his tilted head with Judy mumbled a bit, before the bunnies ears shot up. "Wait… Him?"

"That wacko," Nick asked. "Ugh, he was a boring one wasn't he. ``I am the powerful one and I get to use my power to be mean but I have an uber leader I will follow as he is so awesome and I am secretly pathetic yadda yadda chaos smash grunt urgh…."

Judy opened her mouth to speak, only to cut herself off. "Yes, that. Pretty much. I mean, he's locked up for years now, isn't he?"

"I guess," Nick said. "Really don't care at all. Also, he's a wildebeest."

"Yup," Judy said, "and the only mammals mentioned in this whole thing were pigs."

Carm nodded. "Yes, but what about his mysterious leader?"

"That's Rattigan," Judy said. "I mean, we all kind of agreed it was Rattigan."

"Who else would it be?" Nick asked.

Carm folded her arms. "Really? Isn't it obvious? He literally spelt it out for you."

"No," Nick said.

"He did not," Judy followed on, waving her paws in front of her eyes.

Starting to look visibly irritated, Carmelita turned back to the computer screen. "The final bit of your report of that interview, when you used a fake picture to try and get him to say who his leader was. And he said, and I quote: The one I work under, the one who leads me. He speaks with ever such subtlety, but with charisma in his voice. Like a curved knife, sharpened to perfection, he can pull you on. You. You do not know what a real leader is. One who men, women and children will lay their lives down for. One who they can trust. One who can inspire such loyalty, wherever he goes, however much mammals try to defeat him."

She held off for a second, Judy rubbing her chin. "I mean, that sounds a bit like a cult leader. But a lot like Rattigan."

"I agree," Basil chirped. "I feared it was him again."

Dave nodded. "Though in your defence, we tended to think any new big threat might be him."

"Yeah, remember our little arc about that?" Basil asked. "Me worrying it was hurting my ability as a detective. Ahhhh, it feels quite invigorating to know that's now a moot point!"

Dave chewed his lip. "Though naturally scary that he's back…"

"Oh yes, yes, of course. Naturally."

Carmelita waited for a second before carrying on. "When I first saw him, he was returning again from his greatest fall, with just a small bunch of followers. But I… I was in a gang that had once followed him. Who knew him for who he was."

"Well, more of a chance of being the cult leader," Nick admitted.

"Yes, but again from the sounds of it very like Rattigan," Judy carried on.

"Okay," Carm said. "Here we go: He came up to us, we with orders to end him, and he told his men to put down their weapons and let himself stand in front. Where he would be torn apart in seconds! And he smiled to his foes, and told all who wished to strike him down that there he stood. Not one of us did. That there was a leader, and we joined to his side, usurped those embarrassments we'd previously slaved under, and marched forwards."

There was a long pause, Nick and Judy looking at each other and shrugging.

Carm just blinked back, only for her face to wince up, paws coming up by their side as if trying to pull out the boiling out stress and confusion. "Seriously!?"

"No, no clue," Nick said.

"Same here."

Throwing her paws down she stood up. "Soldiers of the fifth. Do you recognise me?" She walked forward, before opening her paws out. "If there is one among you who wants to kill your emperor," she chuckled a little. "Here I am." And then she looked on confidently, bravely, defiantly… And then she turned back down to the two, arms thrown out. "Come on you two!"

They looked at each other, Judy shrugging and Nick scratching his back, before the fox closed his eyes, thought for a second, and then threw his paws out. "Okay… Napoleon, I guess?"

"YYYEEEEESSSSS!" Carm exclaimed, throwing her paws out. "It's… It's his literal most famous quote. That corsican lion's most badass amazing moment. One of the bravest most awesome things recorded in history, in one of the most famous 'you couldn't write this' moments in the history of the world! How did you not know!"

Judy shrugged. "We didn't cover French history in school."

Nick nodded. "Ditto."

"Urgh…" Carm huffed, paws over eyes. "How do you know all that stuff about Chinese history or something but nothing about the world's greatest general?"

"Three names!" Nick stressed, stomping his foot. "Three! And one that everyone already knows, so two! Two names. And now I'm the Chinese history expert? I mean, I know far more about Australian history, Edmund Bearton, Wallabrydyne, Tarabahminnerwait and bunny bans and all that lot, than Chinese history."

"I…" Carmelita began. "You know all that lot but not the Lion who conquered Europe!?"

"I literally learnt it all yesterday after a mandatory lecture by a camel! Besides, China's got… what? Twenty times the population than France. And why are you picking on me and not the Bun?"

"Hey, don't throw me into this," Judy said.

"Fun fact," Dave began. "You'd never think Chinese and Australian histories would interact. But then you get good old William Henry Dunnart. Hehe, when Lang Hseuh-Liang took Chang Tiger-Shek hostage, I bet he'd never imagined his wife flying over a marsupial mouse to negotiate."

Nick spared him a glance. "Appreciated, but not the time to bring up anecdotes about the young marshall, okay? Besides, he probably thought it was just a regular mouse, or a shrew, or something. And it's not like I don't know who Napoleon was! Small lion, ruled France, got his tail frozen off in the Russian winter, mandatory retirement to St Helena. I just didn't know he did and said something so specific as that."

Judy nodded along. "I mean, I remember catching the film once. But I thought it was a Hollywoof moment or something."

"I mean, I can get that," Nick said. "It does kind of sound too badass to be real."

Carm nodded. "And don't you forget it," she said, folding her paws.

…

"What were we talking about again?" Basil asked.

"Uh…" the vixen began.

"The link between this Napoleon," Nick said, pointing at the anonymous letter. "And hers." He pointed at Carm, only to frown. "Even though I thought she was Spanish, not French."

"Is it hard to believe I had feet in both countries? My mother would have me bike across the border to pick up things that were cheaper there."

"Anyway," Nick carried on. "I think…"

"That the pig Napoleon from the cult could be the same one Kazar was talking about. Another one of those working with Rattigan, just like the fox I encountered at Kozlov's," Carm pushed out.

The room went quiet.

"Okay," Basil said, tapping his foot. "Excellent and clever idea! Now what?"

"I don't know," Judy said, paws out wide. "Road trip to Bunnyburrow to look at the old site for any clues?"

There was a long pause, the others turning towards her.

She blinked a few times before smiling. "Well okay then. Totally not complaining."

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"It's not just the strength of your arm," Tigress said, holding out Ash's limb. "It's the strength of your entire body, the speed it has gathered, the momentum behind it, the force you apply and where."

The red fox nodded and, limbering up to a waiting training doll, raced forward screaming and attacked it in a feral set of clawings and kicks.

The tiger looked on, eyebrows sinking.

"Hang on," Kris cut in, halting his cousin's feral assault. "Like this." He stood still, closed his eyes, put his palms up against each other and then breathed in. Breathed out. "I weigh less than a slice of bread…"

And then he raced on, launching himself forward, twisting his body, twisting his hip, twisting his shoulder as he launched out his arm and gave the head of the training doll his most powerful hit yet.

Its face caved in as its body was sent slamming back into the floor.

Kris, standing over it, breathed in and out before bringing his paws together in a small, neat bow.

"Excellent example," Tigress said, walking over.

Ash nodded along too, before thrusting up a paw. "Wasn't that attack incredibly easily telegraphed? If I was that doll, I'd have easily stepped to the side." He asked it as much to Tigress as to Po, the panda nodding.

"Oh yeah, I mean it totally goes against everything I've taught you. But the idea is you use your wild animal craziness first to confuse them and tire them, then one of those big punches at the end to take them out at a weak spot."

"And you will get faster, much faster, at doing them with practice," Tigress smiled. And suddenly, within a blink of an eye, she snapped, punching out at the training doll with enough force to send it spinning and rolling around across the floor.

She was met with the clapping of the big panda, as the final student walked up. "Okay," Haida said, "scrappy and mean, then show them the strength of the yeen." He sent out a few practice punches before racing at the doll. He kicked it then jumped back, spinning around it to strike again, and again, and again. Unlike the two foxes, he had no qualms about using his claws on his stuffed victim, giving swipes across the body and eyes, its cheery little painted face soon crying tears of stuffing.

He knocked it this way and that, spinning it on its base, until, as he stared at the back of its head, he leapt back, legs touching one of the training benches Tigress had used with Kris and then kicking off. He flew forward, body snapping and sending his fist flying forward, straight into the wounded head of his victim.

It flew straight off, releasing a shower of fluff that the wind caught, blowing it across Haida's stern and panting face like snow or ash. He looked through it, stoic and strong and… "ACHOOO!"

He rubbed his nose, sniffing. "Ugh, got some up my… ACHOOO!"

Ash looked on, noticing that Po was struggling to hold in his laughter.

"ACHOOO! What did you stuff that thing with? Itching powder?"

Smiling, the panda walked forward. "You did good pal. I know a place to sort that little problem of yours out just fine."

"ACHOOO! Huh, this a common prob… ACHOOO!"

"Is with the Shinchuan peppers in the kitchen. The doll? Well, that's a new one."

Off they wandered, Ash scratching his head before sniffing a little, muzzle starting to fold up. He growled a little, though it seemed to stop him sneezing at least, as he walked on after the pair. "Moral supp…" he managed, before releasing a barrage of sneezes.

Tigress and Kris just stood there, before the feline walked up and grabbed the remains of the doll, scooping up the largest piles of fluff at its base and pushing it inside. "Come on, we might as well tidy up for them."

The silver fox nodded, following suit, using controlled directional breathing to avoid any and all nasal irritation issues.

They peacefully began tidying the area up, disposing of the remains of Haida's grand victory and then moving on to the items that Tigress had laid out. They were in the middle of moving one of the benches when a new mammal walked into the courtyard. Kris looked over to see a smiling female panda.

Tigress saw her and smiled. "He went to the storeroom medical bay. One of his students got stuffing up his nose."

She smiled and nodded, speaking a few words of Chinese before wandering in a different direction. Kris watched as she reached the base of the solitary pagoda that loomed over them and, unlocking a small door inside one of the walls, walked in.

"I presume that was Po's wife," the fox said after a few seconds of silence.

Tigress nodded. "Jing? Yes, she is. A very nice mammal. They suit each other…"

They were broken off by the sound of her laughing somewhere in the pagoda, a big full bottom of the stomach belly laugh.

"-Very well," Tigress carried on. "Laugh together, are rowdy together," she smiled. "They have a lot of fun together."

"Outside of kung fu?" Kris asked, as they put the bench down.

She nodded. "She doesn't really do kung fu," the tiger noted, standing up and walking off again. "But they click in so many other ways." There was a small laugh. "It's funny. A lot of mammals saw Po and I practising kung fu, or interacting together, and they assumed we'd be good mates for one another."

"In their defence you look like good friends," Kris said.

"Indeed we are," she said, "but to live together…" There was a chuckle. "He's energetic, he's excitable, he sparks and he does things in great measures. He's the big heavy chop off a cut of ostrich leg. In contrast, I'm the fine and delicate slice. He throws everything in and eyeballs his measurements, I measure and re-measure. He needs his excitement and jokes, I need my peace, my calm." She trailed off, looking into the sky for a second. "To live together, to love together, they say that the best mate is the one who's your best friend, but I don't think that counts in this case. Too close together, and I fear our friendship would turn sour fast."

Kris nodded. "That sounds very mature. It seems you two have a good platonic relationship between each other and are happy about it."

She gave a long breath out. "I am. In fact, I don't really get the sense that I miss anything."

The fox paused, tilting his head. "What do you mean by that?"

"I'm…" She trailed off. "I'm not sure. I've never been sure. It's just a sense that I've always had."

"Maybe I know what you mean," Kris offered. "Or maybe I don't. I have a girlfriend. I love her. I can see that, when pushed I want to defend her, to look after her, to hold her and keep her safe and be with her. Now that I speak about it I even feel that I want to groom her fur and she…" He halted what he was saying, ears splaying back as he looked away. Tigress looked at him, an eyebrow rising slightly but otherwise silent. "-Anyway," he said, breathing out as he did so. "Not that long ago, I was with a group of other mammals. Some had relationships, some didn't, but they were obsessed with… intimate images." The words came out in an awkward, half choked fashion, Kris clearing his throat a few times before carrying on. "And the acts most associated with those. One mammal, who I'd count as a close friend back there, talked at length about it. When he heard I had a girlfriend he talked quite eagerly about me wanting to do things like that to her. Except I don't. And I hated it when he talked like that. About me. Especially about her."

"There's nothing wrong with that."

"I told myself that too," he said, "though with so many there thinking of that as the standard, I…" He sighed. "Sometimes I get brief intrusive thoughts about going further with my girlfriend and some part of me wants to do such with her then, but then the lead in thought goes away and I feel bad about that lingering instinctual urge. For reducing my love of her down to something so crude and basal. And predominantly icky." He looked up at her. "I mean, I tried to explain that to them, but they just reacted as if there was something wrong, something missing from me, just because I don't feel that way. And sometimes, I get another nasty intrusive thought which tells me that they're right. Which I suppose is similar to what you feel."

She looked off. "Maybe, maybe. But I suppose as long as you and your girl talk everything through, you'll be okay." There was a pause, before she shook her head. "In any case, I shouldn't be the one giving you advice. I'm not trained, nor do I even have the experience required. As I was saying, I never had the sense I was missing anything, and never had something to even know what not missing it was."

Kris nodded. "Understood," he said. "There's nothing wrong with that. Not that some of those back there thought so. A few at first joked I was A-sexual, but then at least one mammal thought that meant I was a sociopathic individual incapable of any love whatsoever."

The tiger paused. "A-sexual?"

"No desire or drive in any direction. Instead of batting for the same team or batting for both teams, you're not playing the game at all." He pushed on, grabbing one of the benches, only to pause as he saw Tigress just standing there. "Master?" he asked.

She snapped to him with a start. "Sorry, student. I just never heard that there was a name for mammals like… That, out there." She moved over and picked up the other side of the bench. "That mammal who thought and called you those things… Were there a lot like him, or…?"

"No, and I think he was just ignorant and going off false assumptions at the time," Kris said. "He also seemed quick to judgement and probably not that nice to begin with, so on top of being wrong about me I completely ignored him."

"I suppose there are mammals like that out there everywhere," she said, a slight curious smile to her face as she picked up the other side of the bench and helped move it across. She was oddly silent throughout the remainder of the work, and Kris found the quiet peaceful, relaxing. He kept himself busy with the physical work, and his mind…

As soon as he thought about it one or two discomforting thoughts came through, but they were nothing that couldn't be brushed aside. While his muscles ached from practising, mentally he was feeling… Better, about everything.

"So?" an accented voice asked. " You are Tigress new student?"

He looked over to see the female panda from earlier standing there, smiling. "I am," he said.

She smirked. "Let me see how she teach you?" And with that she drew out a pair of chopsticks, flicking one out to Kris. Stepping back he watched as it backflipped up through the air and then down again, straight into his catching paw. And then with her own she lunged forward. "On guard!"

He pulled his own up to block, and smiling she stepped forward, wielding her half-a-cutlery like she was a fencer on the attack. Not sure what to think, Kris met it and they were soon rapping and parrying off each other, faster and faster. Whatever confusion had led in on this soon gave way to concern that she was getting the edge on him, and so eyes gritting he pushed on further, faster, more aggressively, trying to spin the small stick out of the way and then realising that he needed to think far bigger.

He dove to the side, trying to out flank her, all as she turned and kept up the pace, even if it was now his court. She went one way, he went the other, seeing her legs open to steady herself he dove through and almost caught her before she just managed to save her back from a poking.

Jumping back, she pulled out another pair and, giggling, threw one to him. He held them, one in each paw, while she held them between her fingers as if he was a steamer full of dim-sum ready for the taking. And in she dived, playing the same techniques but now also trying to pinch Kris' sticks out of his paws. The fox manoeuvred his own into a pincer as well and met hers, the two little wooden sticks clashing like they were birds of prey scrapping in mid air.

Pushing together, they locked, tight. Eager smile and narrowing eyes, the panda bent down her paw and began using her far greater strength to try and swing Kris around, the fox forced to jump and sidestep to keep up. She was a panda, a bear, a mammal vastly vastly stronger than a fox like him.

A fox like him…

A fox…

With a flick he disengaged his chopsticks, letting her dive hers in for the prod, only for him to coil his legs and pounce up. Before she could react their eyes were level, his paw out, and his sticks pinching her nose.

He landed down on all fours and jumped up into a fighting stance, looking on to see her…

Giggling.

Giggling and giggling and laughing. "You one really good kit," she smiled, looking up at Tigress. "You teach him well."

"Thank you Mrs Ping," the tiger bowed. "You challenged him very well too."

Kris looked between them, head tilting. "Was this planned?"

"Unplanned but not unexpected," the tiger said. "Much like Po, she enjoys little things like that."

"-DID YOU JUST CHOPSTICK DUEL HIM!?" came an excited shout from across the plaza. Kris turned to see Po running up to them.

"Yes I did!"

"Woah, how good was he?"

"Really good. He boop me."

"You booped her!?" Po asked, turning over to Kris, arms crossed and a big smirk on his black and white face.

While knowing it was all in good fun, the silver fox did feel like he needed to clarify one thing. "She started it."

"Oh did you now," Po said, looking over.

"So what if I did?" she smiled back.

In a flash he brought out his own chopsticks, the female panda rushing to raise hers as they began playing off of each other. She focussed hard on the defence, tongue sticking out the side of his mouth while he made loud sounds as he thrusted and parried. "HA! HEH! HO! HAH!"

Kris looked on, pausing as Ash came up to him. "Why don't they just dual wield? One chopstick per paw?"

The pandas paused what they were doing, turned to look at him, and then transferred one stick to their offpaw and carried on battling.

"Yeah, like that."

"I've missed some stuff, haven't I," Haida said, coming over. He looked on, only to wince as a short sharp 'OOOH!' signalled the end of the battle.

They all looked on as Jing, dropping her chopsticks, blinked and turned to face them; Po's own pair, one stuck up each nostril, wobbling as she did so. "I guess I am the walrus now, koo-koo-ke-chu!"

There was a round of laughter, especially from Po, who clutched his stomach and bent over. "Every time! Every time," he laughed, before wiping from under his chin. "Anyway," he said, turning towards the trio of students. "My wife here. Jing Ping, meet Haida, Ash and Kris."

"Hi," they responded.

"Hi," she smiled back, only to pause. "I know Kris, he Tigress student. She teach him very well."

"Ah, she always would," Po said, smiling at the proud feline.

"And, my father curious. Want to talk to him."

"Oh," Kris said, pausing. "Your father?"

She nodded, pointing to the top of the pagoda. "He watch you practice, and is impressed and curious. He wants a talk."

Kris nodded, not sure where this was going but certainly curious. "I'd be honoured."