Chapter 43

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A grey paw reached out from under the covers, picking up the phone and glancing at the displayed time.

05:22

Depending on her mood or upcoming schedule, Judy would have either tucked herself into bed and enjoy a lie in for an hour or so, or pulled herself out of bed and pushed herself into doing something productive given that her farm bunny instincts had her far more up and productive now than she'd be in the evening after work.

And, right now, knowing that she had leftovers in the fridge and no need to prep up her slow cooker for a long stew, the bunny was leaning far more towards an extra hour of shut eye.

That was until her brain caught herself up with two things.

First off, she was in Nick's apartment, his bed. They'd been sleeping together more and more recently, especially after coming home tired and exhausted. His fur and body against hers, her ears picking up his heart beating within him, his musky fox scent. Even now, she felt herself wanting to hold it all tight, smell it all in, letting her mellow out safe and warm.

But she couldn't as, second off, he wasn't in the bed.

Nudging herself over to the edge and pulling herself out, she wrapped her half a duvet around herself, unpopping it from the other.

She briefly paused, smiling at one of her fox's clever inventions. The 'Always have your own half dual sleeping solution' as he called it. Back in his hustling days he'd advertised it as a solution to marital bed time woes, and guaranteer of good co-sleeping performance, and such a good idea he'd genuinely got a patent on it.

He wasn't even lying there, he'd shown her the documents.

Of course, all it really was was two single bed duvets, each with a double row of popper snaps on them so you could attach them to each other and, in case of a tug of war, they'd break apart leaving both mammals with their own half.

"For the first few weeks with the sales to men, I genuinely thought I had a legit way of becoming a fully fledged business fox," she remembered him saying. "Of course that all dashed when the angry women began hauling it back demanding refunds."

She remembered rolling her eyes at that, which only encouraged him further.

"At which point I then tried to sell them larger ones so they'd have both larger halves to sleep under, which they just wouldn't have. But in the end I clocked that a his-and-her version, the her version being noticeably larger, was just the ticket! All the women returning the Mk1 took off with my upgraded Mk2 very happily… And then a few days later all the men returned those out of pure principle."

Of course, she mused, her oversized duvet around her as she walked off, they were probably same species couples and so didn't have the nice scale advantage that she did. She kept it held around her as she walked into the noticeably warmer lounge, Nick not turning the aircon on there on yet, though that didn't surprise her that much. While he kept it on in the bedroom so they could sleep under thicker covers, it didn't matter so much if the living areas had a summery warmth to them, especially given that it was still the early morning and they'd be gone for most of the day.

Still though, her ears fell seeing that he wasn't there. Looking around, foot thumping a little, she glanced this way and that before her ears perked up at a slight noise from the bathroom. Was he coming out of a shower again… In which case a mischievous smirk grew across her muzzle as she made her way over. Sure, she'd walked in on him a few times, to much surprise and shock on his part.

Buuuuttt….

A certain part of her bunny brain was ticking, everything telling her 'do it'. The rational side could still enforce a pre-flight checklist however, and with a glance through a small hole to make sure he wasn't toilet adjacent.

She smiled, letting the duvet drop and stripping off her top but leaving her nighttime shorts on. She was pretty sure he had a thing for those and, limbering down, she feigned herself being in sleep-zombie mode, moving to the door and pushing the handle down to…

It rattled in its frame, Nick's voice coming out. "I actually learned to use the lock now. You need to use the other bathroom."

"I need to get in," she said.

"Right, just…" There was a click as the door swung open, Nick standing to the side and waving her in. "The throne room," he said, in a tired snark. "My queen…"

Judy slumped forward before about-turning and slumping back into him. "Got in," she said, nustling up against him, head turning up to give him her biggest doe eyes.

A small smile grew across Nick's face, his tail picking up behind him for a brief second, only for a sudden flick of the ear to cut him off. "I…" he began, before sighing. "Any other time fluff."

And with that he turned, walking away, leaving Judy standing there. The bunny, though disappointed, still had enough self awareness to know that she might as well make the most of her situation, so she walked into the bathroom. Do some early business, and then maybe a quick shower to really wake her up… She locked the door too before pausing, turning to the sink and mirror to just check up on herself. Folding down the fixed steps under sink so they were out for her, she walked up to check herself over in the mirror on the medicine cabinet, only to pause as she saw it ajar, a box of Thylanol open inside, the silver and plastic wrapped pill containers half pulled out.

The bunny jumped back down and walked out, finding her fox sitting on the couch in the early morning light, looking over and fussing with his paw after rubbing in the Hopps own recipe balm. She nestled up next to him, one of her own on his shoulder as she saw the large red welt on one of his finger-pads. It made her a little queasy. It was almost like a cluster of acrid red balloons had been inflated underneath, bursting their way up and out of the finely packed cell-like pawpad surface, ripping them apart before settling down into a burned crust.

Still, it looked no larger than an 'o' on a keyboard, but looking closer, seeing the tense knitted look on Nick's face and the way his ears would flicker and fur was ever so slightly spiked… "Need anything?" she asked.

"No," he said. "Just dealing with the lovely drugs wearing off over the night."

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yes," he said, voice harder and just a little stressed. "Just time for the things to kick in and…"

…

"I'll make us both some drinks."

"Thanks," he said, smiling a little. She walked over to his kitchen area and began setting up the mugs and such. She was still off of coffee for health reasons, and she'd been on it far more for the energy boost than any real love for the taste, so she didn't see much of a point in terms of buying decaf. Instead though she had a green tea that Retsuko had recommended, with enough caffeine to give her a pleasant and noticeable boost but nothing like a shot in the arm a full on coffee would give. Nick's drink, meanwhile, was done to a formula she knew well. Full shot of coffee in the machine, but pull out when it started adding the water, slipping a mug in to catch the hot dilutant. Instead, cut the black stuff a little with some vanilla creamer, add a teaspoon of sugar for good measure, take it over and plant a major kiss on the fox's cheek.

He gave a little smile back for that, pulling his tail up and around her, holding her closer as he took his drink in his good paw. "You know I love you, right?"

"You know I love you."

It was left unsaid, Nick pulling up his drink and taking in an energizing sip. "You know, between this and those Hopps family remedies, I might be in the mood for what you're in the mood for a little later." His smirk grew. "Stereotypical bunny."

"Lover fox," she said, cosying up into him, between his legs, letting her body rub up against his chest floof.

They held themselves there.

Sipping their drinks.

Sticking close to each other.

"Do you think that the whole of yesterday was just a distraction?"

The question came out of the blue, Judy's ears going up. "What do you mean?"

"Our vis…" He paused, lips working each other. "Visit isn't really the right word," he said. "I'm not sure what the right word is for something like that…" He trailed off. "I even had a conversation about this… Years back. One of the guys I sold some of my 'antique garden bricks to'. He'd… Well, through a friend got a good-ish deal on flights and stuff to go to Kowbodia. Phlouk Veng. It would be a nice holiday, but he wasn't sure there was enough to fill the time. He'd be a day or two short on fun stuff…" He drummed his fingers on the table. "Of course in that region of the world there's a place you go to, day trip to, and it isn't fun stuff. And it's odd, you couldn't really describe going there and seeing what the worst of evil could do as a holiday. Or a trip. Or even a visit. They don't really capture that feeling of what you're doing, don't grasp the levity of the experience. I… I'd say pilgrimage might come closest, but some mammals could easily take that word use very much the wrong way." He sighed, patting his foot-paw on the floor. "It's odd, I don't think there's a word in the English language that truly describes that. Or going where we went yesterday, for that matter."

There was a long hard pause before Nick, his train of thought snapping back into place, carried on after his tangent. "But anyway… Yesterday. We got an anonymous lead that led us to 'Snowball', at which point we learned of this whole place and a potential connection which we followed up…"

"Finding that some howlers had been removed, and that tree," Judy pointed out.

Nick grumbled a little, looking down at the blister. "Don't remind me. I mean, I… Maybe there were some weird things there, but maybe it was all set up to waste our time."

"Hmmm?" Judy asked. "So, Rattigan sent that first letter, just to send us on a wild goose chase to Bunnyburrow. Distract us from what he's actually doing?" Her nose twitched. "Which is?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. If it is his plan, it's certainly working. Just lies and lies building up, while he goes forward to go and do whatever thing he is doing."

"It can't go on forever, right?"

Nick was silent for a bit, sipping his drink, before his phone rang. He gave Judy a look, put it up to his ear, nodded a few times and rolled his eyes. "You had to jinx it Judy."

Her eyes went wide before narrowing, the bunny thumping her head into his chest. "Don't tell me," she groaned. "Nighthowlers."

Nick nodded. "Planted in lockers."

"Framing kits."

"Uhhh… No, but kits teachers I think."

"Where this time?"

"Youth club out in the Timberlands."

"Great," Judy groaned. "Right, let's dot those I's and…" She paused as she saw Nick's eyes went wide, a slightly distressed and then quite annoyed look on his face. Phone down, he stood up, setting her down next to him. "What's the twist this time?"

Nick gave a shiver, paw up. "Rattigan cussed with squirrels, Judy. He cussed with squirrels."

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"So," Lt Vixen said, narrow eyes pressing down on Jack and tongue held back as if ready to mildly tut him for a misdemeanour.

The hare sat uncomfortable in his chair, rubbing his paws together.

"-Mind recapping us on the end situation of this highly important mission."

"I… Confirmed what we were looking for, contacted the target of interest, learnt more about the macguffin…"

"-Macguffin?" she asked, head tilting slightly.

"You know, the random arbitrary thing we're all chasing after…"

"Except," she said, "it wasn't random, arbitrary, and we've learnt what about it, exactly…"

"I… That it is some form of artificial intelligence network or so forth, quite malicious, and considered highly dangerous."

"Also impossible," came a call from Doug, on the side.

Lt Vixen raised a paw to silence him before turning back to the hare. "Anything else."

Despite his misgivings, he smiled and held up a finger. "That it isn't Hirschlers brain in there."

There was a long, long pause, her tail coming up behind her before giving an irritated flick. "And we don't know what it is because, rather than taking it, you delayed to talk to the mammal in question."

"Well, I thought it was a golden opportunity to get important intel from the suspect! I mean, you love to get them on your side, don't you?"

"When we need their help," she smiled, before her grin faded. "You could have tranq'd him and taken it from him, right then, right there, couldn't you."

"I…" he began, ears going down, a pit growing in his stomach, before he blinked and looked up, his eyes fixed in hers as he raised a paw and gave the best 'Achshully' he could. "Actually, I couldn't. It was under half a ton of polar bear."

There was a long pause, the room silent. Jack glanced around nervously before shaking it out and relaxing back in his chair, giving his best suave look. "So, talking was always the best option, was it not?"

And then the vixen smiled. "Indeed. That's why I hired you. And, though irritated about the failure to acquire the item, your logic is entirely iron-clad."

Jack nodded and smiled. "Why thank you. And now I presume you'll explain the reason for your highly tropey and quite honestly ear-chilling angry boss bolocking misdirect just then."

The vixen paused for a second before shrugging. "Well, I suppose I might as well. Overall, your performance was good given your experience, and your initiative on point. However, it's undeniable that you will face tension, danger, pressure, maybe even enhanced interrogation by the least savoury methods that even the likes of him can't think up." She pointed at Doug for emphasis, the sheep huffing.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."

"Sure, sure," Lt Vixen smiled. "Just sit there in the shock collars you designed for mass use against mammals including little kits and enjoy the show." With that, she turned back to Jack. "Regardless, if you couldn't face that interrogation and stand up for yourself, what hope even is there?"

"And," the hare mused, "were I genuinely in deep cuss with you, my defence would have earned my reprieve."

"We'll see," the vixen nodded. "We'll see." She paused for a second or so, before speaking once more. "But tell me, would you have darted him, had he jumped. Had he been non-cooperative, had you seen an opening to get at the item?"

"I…" Jack began. "I mean I guess."

Her eyes narrowed. "You guess?"

"I mean, were the situation to present itself, I would pull the trigger."

"Then why didn't you say yes at the start?"

"I… Is there a point to this?" he asked, eyes going firm.

"Yes, why you couldn't just say, 'yes, if I could tranq him then and there to fully complete the mission, I would.'"

"Okay then," Jack said, crossing his arms. "If I could tranq him then and there to fully complete the mission, I would."

"Without hesitation?"

"I…" He paused, his ears folding down. The pregnant pause ticked on, Lt Vixen moving to repeat the question, only for the hare to cut in. "Skye put you up to this, didn't she?"

The red fox vixen blinked, head tilting a little. "No. Why would…"

"Back in the shooting range," Jack said, standing up on his chair. His ears were up now, claws slowly digging into his palms. "She came down and asked me, over and over, about how ready I was to take a life if it came to it. Whether I would delay. What would happen if it came to it, me and them…"

"-And?" she asked. "What happens if that is the case?"

There was a long pause. "Like every other first timer, I'll get to it when I get to it. And if being that rules out mammals for this job, then good luck in finding a mammal ready for it."

"-And it's not like it's a big thing anyway," Doug said. "It's easy. Pull trigger, mammal gone, your non-supportive so called mate is really making a fuss over nothing. Have I ever read you the definition of gaslighting?"

"For the record," Lt Vixen said, looking down. "She didn't, not directly."

"Ah," Doug commented. "The classic foxy weasel words."

Jack glared at him. "Why is he even here in the first place?"

The sheep stared back. "I was on this mission too, remember."

"You just waited outside."

"As part of the mission."

"IF," Lt Vixen spoke out, "you two could stop squabbling like kits…"

"-And lambs," Doug cut in.

The red fox vixen brushed her coat down, turned to face him, held up her collar remote and brought up her other paw, fingers pads on her thumb and finger juuuuussssttttt about not touching. The sheep got the message.

At which point she smiled and turned to answer the question. "I overheard her muttering after the event, worrying herself. I heard her say 'it's only a tranq, what if it's a bullet,' and that was that. So, she didn't try to undermine you or anything.

"Right," Jack said, sounding not quite fully convinced.

"Regardless," she carried on. "While a valid point, one I think is true, the fact also remains that you are not a soldier, technically not even an agent. You're an asset. And you're not here to go in guns ablazing, not here to face dangerous combat. That's the last resort of a last resort, and for good reason. Most of these jobs require patience, they require mammals who can put on an act, who can convince mammals they are mammals friends and work their way into the groups. Who can be there to act like they beyond, sneak in and take copies of the critical documents and plans, allowing the real guns to be waiting where and when they are needed. And, in those situations, a trigger happy mammal is likely the very last thing we need. After all, why would I be so interested in an actor like you for this, when I have a cream of army mammals and loyal Delta Fox mercs at my call, if you didn't offer something rather unique." She smiled, before shrugging. "Overall, despite my tone at the start, I'd say you've done good. But, not perfectly."

At that point she turned to Doug. "Sooner, or later, ELSA's mammals will attack and try to retrieve it, like they did before. That'll be our chance to capture them and take them in for good." She sighed. "It's a well defended position, but they are incredibly well armed and will rise to the challenge." She drummed her fingers against the table. "I have a bad sense that mammals, innocent mammals, will get hurt. And we're going to have to wait for the starting gun to be fired by them to try and intervene." She closed her eyes, taking a breath in and out. "Dismissed."

And with that Jack walked out of the debriefing room, entering out and finding his way to the fake front office, sitting down in the canteen area.

"All good?" He turned, glancing up at Skye.

He gave her a look back, eyes narrowing. "Sure," he said, "fine. Absolutely."

She smiled, sitting down next to him. "Good," she said. "I'm glad she didn't go too hard on you… After all, you're still enjoying this. It's what you want to do, after all." She paused, shrugging. "Even if I do get worried," she said with a roll of her eyes. "Any…" she began, only to cut herself off as Jack quipped back.

"Verbally so," he said, rolling his eyes.

There was a brief pause. "Yeah," she sighed, "well. I hope you know I am behind you. One-hundred percent. -Anyway, want any drinks or anything?"

Jack looked up, tapping his fingers on the table, once, twice, three times. "You know your sister overheard you."

"I… Overheard?"

"During the mission," Jack said, looking up at her. "Talking to yourself, about me, the mission…"

"Well, we were in the same room and…"

"You're still worried I won't be able to take a life if it comes to it."

There was a long pause before Skye pulled out her chair, sat down, and stared at him, muzzle resting atop knitted knuckles. "No cuss," she said. "I don't want to lose you. I worry about you. And…" She held herself for a second, her ears pulling back. "I'm not… I don't mean to undercut you or anything, I…"

"It kind of feels like that," Jack said, looking down as his head sank into his paws.

"Cuss me," came a groan from the vixen. "I'm sorry, I…" There was a long pause as she struggled to find the right words. "I mean… -I'm trying to be! And I promise you like I promised myself, I wouldn't stop you! I wouldn't as this is what you wanted, and I'm not a meddler. Or rather, I'm not a hypocrite so I'm not going to be a meddler as I hate them and… -But I'm sorry if these feelings and such are coming out and making you feel guilty about this thing you really want to do, because I promise I'm not trying to secretly guilt you out of this or anything. I just get worried. And sometimes my stupid loose lips let that out, okay. I'm sorry… I'm sorry."

A long pause hung through the air as Jack slowly looked up at the vixen, her head clutched in her paws. His lay on the table, while his ears were hung on the back of his head. He stared at her emptily for a second before speaking, paw and outstretched finger up. "I for one really like those stupid loose lips. They are not stupid. Especially when touching mine."

The vixen buckled with a chuckle, looking up, her features softening as she managed a smirk. "Thanks Jack."

"Uh-hu," he said, pausing for a second or two. "I know it worries you. I know you didn't want this, and decided to go along as you felt I needed protecting or…"

"-No," she snarked. "I mean, I would always protect my little Jackie-Wackie…" Her smarm turned up to eleven as she saw his look of nose-scrunching disgust. "But I was out of this until I realised I was already in. That bear, thus those mammals who followed us, and… Well, you know the rest."

Jack nodded. "Are you still making that thing for that bear?"

"Urghhh, electrics. No, Honey's actually bodged together a rough prototype. She also worked out that it was one of several bits of a directed projectional charge weapon."

Jack smiled. "Naturally I know exactly what that is."

"Shock pistol, like that vixen cop my sister pissed off has."

"Oh," he mused, eyes widening. "Oh, I see."

"Uh-hu… So, no other reasons or anything to tag in or anything for me, but…" She smiled. "Just know I care for you, and I will support you, for whatever reasons you want to do this."

Jack nodded. "For the funsies."

"Well, I mean a bit more than that…"

"No," he shrugged. "I'll be honest here. Those things I did before were appetisers. And then I got offered a main course. But, you know what? I don't quite think there's going to be any room for dessert after this."

Skye's eyes widened. "Jack, don't do anything for my sake…"

"On the contrary," he said, stepping off his chair and walking forward. Before Skye could object he grabbed his paw and held it. "I've enjoyed this. But the more I've gone on… Is there any reason to keep doing it? I don't think so. I got that one taste of the action spy life, I did a few crazy things, but now? We're just waiting for the big guns to turn up and the big guns to sort it out. That's not my job, your sister said it herself. I did my thing, and I loved it. But really, do I have any real reason to fight? To carry on any further? Nah. No dead or lost loved ones, no great cause, no real evil to fight once I help out getting out this mercenary group that I have nothing really against, other than them being generic bad guys. I did this all for the funsies, and when it's over, I'll find something new to give me fun," He looked down. "Thank you, for being there and helping to give me this. The one and only great saga of secret agent Jack Savage. It's been incredible while it lasted, but I know to quit while ahead. And then? I think I'll give you the rest of my life, and make it incredible for you."

"Jack…" she said, shaking her head. "Don't do this because of me, I… I'll support you more, I…"

"Ahem," he cut in, paw up. "I'm doing this for me." And then he grabbed her muzzle and pulled it down, kissing the end hard. Skye's lips remained fixed for a second or two before giving in, she leant forward into the kiss, soon her tongue taking the lead as it extended its length into his mouth. Their arms were soon holding each other close, their embrace peaking and then letting go, drifting off as they let go, looking into each others eyes as they stepped back.

There was a long pause, before Jack gave a stupendously self proud grin. "Holy cuss I've always wanted to do that!"

Skye gave Jackie-Wackie a smarmy grin back that he'd most certainly earned.

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"So, are you going to go back to writing plays after all this?" Skye asked, over the whipping of air over the top of the car.

It was going to be some time until the call came in to end this mission once for all, all dependent on if and when those mammals chose to attempt to take Kozlov's necklace of unknown importance. And, while as time went on they were to be waiting and ready to pounce, Lt Vixen had decided some time for R&R would be most welcome. They had overwatch on over on the site, and at the worst would call in the ZPD and feed them information in the highly unlikely case they chose to attack in the middle of the day.

All in all then, things were relaxed as Jack looked over and shrugged. "No clue!" He then relaxed back. He was happy, he was content. He went where his whims and passions took him and, in this case, he was content knowing that he'd been pulled one way, had a lot of fun, and it was coming up to the time that it came to an end.

Who knew… Maybe he could work for the ZPD on these kinds of things in the future.

But now?

He wasn't sure.

It wasn't like he had any real reason to fight or anything. Just wrap this up, and move on to whatever new calling there was.

After all, after finally, if briefly, getting his big and fully uncompromised play out and performed in front of a live audience, the winds had taken him here. Pulling up behind a red light, the hare quietly muse to himself… Maybe he could see if he could see if he could make it into a screenplay or something, though honestly if you were talking about creatively bankrupt meddlers taking a machete to good art then…

"Do you always look that slightly uncomfortable, or is there something going on with that vixen I don't know about but probably should?"

Jack's ears shot up and he turned, seeing a tall woolly figure looking over them. He narrowed his eyes to give Doug a well deserved rebuke, only to pause as he saw a rather worrying lack of shock collars or related apparatus on him. Suddenly out in the open all free ready to cause chaos and…

"-Oh wait, you're not Doug, you're Eddy!"

The sheep assistant come financier to Jack's old theater owner tilted his head a little. "I'm guessing that was meant to be some internal monologue or something. And that maybe I don't want to know who this other Doug is."

Jack paused, before shrugging. "Oh, just another sheep with a slightly idiosyncratic way of speaking. But you're still number one in my books!"

"Well that's nice to hear, though I might need to up my game if there's competition or…"

"No," Skye said, shaking her head. "Trust me, you're good."

"Uh, hu," Eddie said. "And so is Buster!"

"Yeah," Jack said, as the light went green and they started to go forward. "-Wait what!?"

Eddie watched them as they moved off with the traffic, calling out. "Oh yeah, they found him! I'm going to the station now! Bye I guess!" He watched them drive off before shrugging, walking along. "Guess they're busy or something, hmmm…"

And so he walked off, until a few minutes later when the car pulled up again next to him after going around the block. Eddie watched them pull up in a space, Jack looking at him calmly. "Sorry about that, as I was saying: -Wait what!?"

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Pulling his motorbike to a halt, Mr Fox kicked down the stand, locked it up, and marched straight towards the coffee shop he'd been informed was highly popular with the many of the workers at Zootopia News Network. Indeed, a rather haughty looking wolf in a suit with the odd aura of a Pfereudian psychoanalysists was entering right now.

A large wooden framed entrance, flowers outside and mammals conversing and sipping their drinks, rose up in front of him, sophisticated but not sterile. In fact, he was partly in the mood for a coffee himself! And, with that, he entered, the door closing behind him revealing the embossed name of the establishment: Koffi Luwak.

The door slammed open and Mr Fox, eyes wide, hurried out at an exceedingly brisk pace.

Back to the side of the road, he brushed himself down before surveying his surroundings, and quickly and casually making his way over to a nearby Skunkin' Donuts, which sounded very appropriate. No sooner had he come inside did he see the very mammal he'd been looking for, appropriateness very much sounded.

"-And I stink that will be all," the skunk news reporter said, as boxes of takeaway treats were being passed over, the mephitid stacking them up as best as he could, balancing them on this arm or that.

"Ah, Mr Steven Stinkman, it's been a while but," Mr Fox said, introducing himself.

"-Wait," he barked, his head snapping around fast enough for his ZNN cap to lag behind, "bit busy right now, just speak to my brother for a bit. I have a job to do!"

Mr Fox shrugged, walking over and finding his way to a seat next to a torch key coloured raccoon, about the age of his own son. Distracted from his strawberry milkshake for a second, he looked to the side, an eyebrow rising. "Oh…"

"Oh!" Mr Fox agreed, "With a slight level of muted surprise. I'm sure your brother has told you about our past deals and…"

"No."

"…No?"

"I've never met you before," the raccoon said, eyes focused on his drink as he took another, long, loud, slurp up through the paper straw. He paused for a second, pulling the slowly degrading thing up, before placing it down next to him. "I have been kept out of the loop on this one. Mind getting another straw?"

"Any reason why you can't get another straw perchance?"

The raccoon thought for a second before shaking his head. "Not really no."

There was a long pause, the pair sitting off against each other.

"It has not escaped my notice, but you are not acting on that strong verbal counter," Mr Fox said.

The raccoon paused, before turning down, grabbing his glass, and taking a drink that way.

Mr Fox shrugged. "Touché young mammal."

He let out a little smile, his legs kicking underneath the table.

"-Anyway," the fox said, pushing the conversation along. "It doesn't help but escape my attention but this conversation seems entirely pointless. May I ask why your brother thought it best to direct me to you while he picked up…" He paused, looking over. "An inordinately enormous amount of baked treats."

"I guess it's some form of payback for the time I directed a tiger mercenary I knew to him while I was busy being a mobile advertisment. I heard his yelp of confusion from across the noodle bar. Anyway, I think I see my giraffe outside. Bye."

And with reference to something else the fox was unaware of done, he finished his drink in one big gulp, slipped off his chair, and scurried off and out.

…

"Well," Mr Fox pondered. "That was an event."

"You stink?" Mr Fox turned down to see the skunk reporter there, all his purchases carried and balanced on his person. "Anyway, ready now. What did you want this chat about?"

Mr Fox smiled. "Exciting future career prospects in the realm of television media."

"Ooooooh, nice!" Stinkman chirped. "I like those. What have you got?"

Mr Fox paused. "Ah, it's not what I have got. It's what you have got."

The mood on the skunk deflated a little. "Ah, right. That makes… more sense. I guess you want in, right?"

"Right!"

"Well," Steven said, fussing his foot as much as his dared given the quantity of goods he was carrying. "I mean, my prestige at the company did rise a bit following my reporting on your nephew's incident. But I am not really sure what I can do on your behalf." He paused for a second, thinking. "Well, makes scents to at least try! Right, follow me."

And with that he turned, making his way off, Mr Fox following close behind. "So is this place actually favoured by the ZNN mammals and my information about next door misleadingly false…"

"You went next door!?"

"Only briefly, before I had to leave."

"Realised what it was, huh?" Steven asked, looking over at it. "I think the only reason mammals go in there is because the owner is this council mammal they all want to brownnose. The more of that coffee they drink, the more likely he is to give a scoop or a…"

"What's wrong with the coffee?" Mr Fox asked, sniffing a little. "Smells unusually but interestingly different in a small but distinct way, and by the looks of the patrons they've very much enjoying it."

"You don't…!?" Steven began, before shaking his head. "Then why did you get out so fast?"

Mr Fox let out a shiver. "Wolves."

"Wolves?"

"Two wolves."

"… Do they happen to look haughty, upper class…"

"Pfereudian psychoanalysists?" Mr Fox finished off.

"-The older one like a radio host," Steven said, tail flicking a little. "Both constantly brownnosing."

"-Surname Maim," the pair said together.

…

Mr Fox threw his paws out. "What is it with those two wolf brothers and their one-upping each other?"

"I don't know!" Steven exclaimed, throwing out his arms in defeat, quickly realising that that was a terrible idea. The stacks of cardboard boxes and cups of drinks he was carrying went out of balancing, pulling him out of balance too, the skunk stumbling and then falling forward, eyes closed until he jerked to a forty-five degree halt, glasses sliding forward to the tip of his muzzle from the stop.

Eyes slowly opening, he looked up to see Mr Fox, foot paw pinning the skunk's tail to the ground, leaning forward, paws deftly pinning the foodstuffs in place and halting them from tumbling to the floor. Slowly, leaning back, Mr Skunk guided Steven into a state of balance, even taking a few boxes from him for good measure.

Steven swiped his brow and sighed. "Okay, thanks for that. Right, follow me, I'll see what I can do."

"Uh-hu," Mr Fox agreed, walking off behind him as they headed back to the ZNN building. "Nice catchphrase by the way."

"Huh?"

"The whole scent puns things, I like it."

"Oh. Why thank you! I like your one, the double whistle and double tongue click thing…"

Mr Fox let out a double whistle, followed by two tongue clicks.

"-Yeah that, I really like that. Short and snappy."

"And stylish."

"Uh, hu… Just to let you know, we may be dealing with more wolves coming up."

"Oh. Like?"

"My adoptive mother."

"Right…"

"But don't worry, for the next while, apart from that potential situation this will be a wolf free sequence of events."

"I certainly like that sound of that," Mr Fox smiled. "Not that I have any issue with wolves…" They walked off, past a small alleyway, a fox peeking out before retreating back in. "-Just I need to assert my dominance and show that us vulpines are the generally superior canid species." A tiger and a slightly scarred up lion peaked out from it too, before pulling back in. "-And that if any group of mammals need to learn to deal with their patented insecurity about how quote-unquote cool, flashy, and generally all around awesome they are, it is them, not me, -I naturally and always intended to mean us. There. Subtext free zone."

.

.

.

"So, uh, what is new in the world of newspaper column writing."

"Not much," Mr Fox said, as they approached the reception desk of the ZNN building. Mammals were going in, mammals were coming out, and with a quick paw wave and a mouthing of 'visitor' Steven Stinkman slipped through with his companion, the pair finding their way into a lift.

"Not much then, huh…" The skunk pondered, as with a slight shudder their lift began to go up.

"Exactly," Mr Fox said, "and after a brief and compelling private flirt with investigative journalism, I am in the need of something new. Something invigorating."

"Uh-hu, uh-hu," the skunk nodded along.

"-And most of all something wife approvable."

The skunk paused, scratching his chin. "How do you define 'wife approvable'?"

"Something my wife would approve of."

Steven's rolled his eyes. "Ask a P-U-pid question. I need more, oh what's the word…"

"I know right," Mr Fox agreed. "Something that defines, that clarifies…"

"-Specifics!"

"-Specifies, there's another good one. Something that makes it absolutely clear what she will approve of and what she won't."

"Exactly," the skunk smiled, as they got off at his floor. "Which is?"

"Well, there's your problem."

"Huh?"

"I don't know."

"You don't…" he scolded a little, before pausing as a horde of eager workers began crowding around. "Hang on, single file, single file, let me just get it all out!" Mr Fox slipped his out onto the table too, retreating back with the skunk as the feeding frenzy began. "You know, I always seem to be only left with the worst stuff at the end of all of…" He paused, his eyes turning to a large éclair in Mr Fox's paws. "How did you?"

With a quick flick of his other wrist, the vulpine revealed a second treat he'd stashed away and smuggled out, entirely undisturbed and unaffected by its brief stay in close contact with him. If anything… It even looked even more perfect. A quick double whistle and double tongue click, and both dug in, Steven taking a satisfied munch before having to shy away from the flecks of cream being thrown off in the massacre to his side.

.

.

"Uh, hello?" The receptionist looked up, pausing as she saw the fox Mr Stinkman had brought in earlier standing there, another box of treats in his paws. "Sorry, just bringing in the second load."

He jiggled his chest about, a visitor's pass sort of making itself visible, and with that she pressed a button and waved him in.

"Thanks," the vulpine said. "I was supposed to make two more trips, but the place sent some workers to help out. Exceedingly efficient, great customer service for this day and age."

Seeing the lion and tiger, the former struggling to hold his boxes with a bandaged up paw, she waved them on in before closing the gate behind them.

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I'd say thankyou to Berserker88 for letting me use his sona, but as Steven Stinkman appears in a published book series now (Legend of Ahya). I don't need to! He's public domain. I CAN DO WHAT I WANT WITH HIM MUHAHAHAHAHHA!