Fantastic Foxes of Zootopia: Series 2

by J Shute

Slowly warm a pot of water, and a frog won't realise it's being cooked. After the events of series one, Nick, Judy, their friends and family are all too aware of where they are, and just how hot the water has got. Now they have the task of finding why the long absent Padriac Rattigan is in Zootopia, all while those hurt before try to recover, finding a long road stretched ahead.

46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

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Mr Fox stared at his reflected double and the lion and tiger appearing behind him for a second before his head shot around, showing them not behind him, before he looked forward again. It was only then that he noticed that the rather alarmed and backing off skunk to his side did not have a reflection.

"Well," Mr Fox said, scratching his chin, the vulpine figure in front of him, now seemingly potentially less likely to be a true reflection, doing the same. "There's one of two explanations here."

He paused, before reaching into his jacket and pulling out something, chucking it at the skunk. Steven blinked, stumbling as his paws scrambled to keep a-hold of the mysterious item before it finally came to rest in his claws. He looked at it for a second before staring up at Mr Fox, his paws spread out wide. "Why the cuss did you have a head of garlic in your suit?"

"More convenient than a crucifix," Mr Fox said, looking back to his quote-unquote reflection, who very much hadn't had a head of garlic in his jacket.

And then the reflection spoke. "It also works against Jewish and Islamic vampires as well."

"Not to mention pagan vampires. What symbol would you use for them? More to the point, as well as confirming that Steven's a mephitidae and not a nosferatu, I think I've confirmed that you…" he said, pointing at the suspiciously dapper and fantastic looking fox in front of him. "Are not a reflection."

"You know," the other fox said, tapping his chin. "You taking that long to work it out makes me think that you're not the most fantastic one here."

Mr Fox chuckled. "On the contrary, I am the one, the true, the Fantastic Mr Fox."

"Wait, but I'm Mr Fox…" The other fox nodded before pausing, glancing behind him, his eyes widening. "Gah!" He jumped back in surprise at the two, slightly confused, big cats behind him and made his way over to Steven. "How did I get over to that side?" He pointed at the fox who'd started out with the skunk. "You must have swapped us around! You sneaky little cuss."

"How," 'Mr Fox' said, his head tilting a bit. "I was with the skunk the whole time."

"Well…" Steven began, finger up. "There was that time you were in that room."

"Exactly," 'Mr Fox' said, siding up to Steven. "You slipped out while I was investigating the mess you made. You then lead my poor friend on a wild goose chase."

"Okay!" 'Mr Fox' barked in, coming up, hairs on end. "One, if you really were me you'd know that that's one of my favourite past times and a highly profitable source of good quality nutrition. Two. For all I know you swapped my skunk!"

"For what?" 'Mr Fox' asked back, pausing as he began pacing around. "Another skunk?" He leant down towards Steven. "Surely you're not thinking of siding with someone who ponders your very existence. For a start, you know that you exist, ergo he is trying to gaslight you."

"No…" 'Mr Fox' stressed. "On the contrary, you might have gone out and found his long lost twin brother."

"So," 'Mr Fox' said to the skunk. "He either thinks you don't exist or he thinks you're an imposter. Honestly, I'm not sure what that team has going for it."

"A big lion and a big tiger!" 'Mr Fox' said, waving at them and walking back to them. They looked down at him, starting to lean in, only for the fox to swivel and march right back out, pointing at 'Mr Fox' all the way. "That's who you swapped my skunk for, just then. Oh, you are clever," he said, leaning in and pulling Steven back towards him and away from the other fox and the two big cats. "But, you can't beat the original, the fantastic, Mr Fox. Can you?"

"But I am the original, the fantastic, Mr Fox."

"-Just for the record," Steven said, pointing up at the Mr Fox next to him. "This one's quite clearly the original and always has been. Isn't that right real Mr Fox?"

"Quite so," real Mr Fox agreed.

"I mean," the skunk said, squaring his glasses and narrowing his eyes. "I'm not an idiot, fake Mr Fox. I know which mammal I've been along with all this time. And just because I'm enjoying being in a real life cartoon thing doesn't mean I'm subject to its logic." He crossed his paws and smiled. "I like to think I'm a cut above that."

Fake Mr Fox rolled his eyes. "Okay," he said, cracking his knuckles. "Need I point out the obvious?"

Mr Fox moved to speak, only for Steven to cut him off, paws crossed against his chest. "What?" he scoffed. "The idea that the Mr Fox I met this morning at an establishment I'm not going to name wasn't the real one from the start? I could come up with a two-dozen question long quiz that would clearly show who is who, but I don't need to. Know why? Shall I point out the obvious giant tiger and giant lion that you have and Mr Fox does not."

"Amusing anecdote," the fake Mr Fox smiled. "That was actually the obvious I was going to point out."

Steven blinked, his smile morphing into a look of confusion. "What, the giant tiger and giant lion that you have?"

"Yes," he smiled. "The giant tiger and giant lion that I have."

The look of confusion dropped quite considerably as a now worried Steven began stepping back. "Uh…"

"Now then," the fake Mr Fox said, looking to his two assistants. "Seeing as you didn't grab him while he was monologuing right next to you…"

"You looked like you were having so much fun," the tiger almost purred, stroking his chin for effect.

The red fox gave a grumble. "Either way, GET THEM!"

They started to lunge forward, only for the real Mr Fox to cut them off. "WAIT! I HAVE A WMF"

Steven blinked. "What's aaaaaaaAAAAAHHH!"

He was cut off screaming as Mr Fox pulled him up, chest on his arm, and the fox's other paw tight on his tail, pulling it back. "And I have a weapon of mass fumigation! I have a skunk!"

The two big cats stepped back while Steven, shaking his look of surprised terror off his face, looked up to the vulpine who's arm he was currently gripping hard onto. "REALLY!?"

Mr Fox looked down at him for a second and facepawed. "Right, of course." He put the skunk down.

"Tha…AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Mr Fox pulled him right up again, tail held back and smiled. "SAY HELLO TO MY STINKY FRIEND!"

There was a pause as the two looked at each other, Mr Fox shrugging. "Was that what you wanted?"

"N-Noo…"

"Then what did you want?"

"I don't know! A warning!?"

Mr Fox shrugged. "Ooops, sorry. But hey, what's the worst that could have happened?"

"An involuntary spray!?"

Mr Fox paused, stepping back as he saw the lion and tiger step forwards again. A few sniffs though and the vulpine smiled. "Ah, but I smell no stink. Ball back in my court."

He stepped forward, the three stepping back as Mr Fox aimed for each of their eyes one in turn. "Uh," Steven began, trying to whisper. "You know it's not going to work if my pants are up."

"Huh?" Mr Fox said, the three in front of him starting to move forward, the real fox retreating in return.

"It's a sticky-liquid thing!" he hissed.

"Okay then," Mr Fox grumbled. "Take your pants down."

"WHAT!?"

"Take your pants down so I can use you as an offensive weapon."

"I… No!"

"You do realise there's a giant lion and tiger right there," Mr Fox said. "Personal boundaries aside, this is a matter of life and death."

"I mean, they're not attacking us right now."

"I think they're just amused by us squabbling."

"Yeah," the skunk hissed. "And you do realise that I won't have even gotten to my tightie-whiteys by the time they reach us?"

"Not with that quote-unquote attitude."

"It's a moot point anyway!"

"Why?" Mr Fox asked.

"Because I'm out!"

…

"What do you mean, out?"

"I…" he said, shaking his head. "Gone, drained, empty!" he hissed. "I have embarrassing downstairs issues, so I make sure to render them embarassless every morning!"

Mr Fox sighed, putting the skunk down. "Shall we run?" he asked, eyes widening as the three enemies charged.

"Or," Steven said, as his paw dove into his pants. "I use this!"

The three attackers halted, stepping back, as Steven pulled out a silver spray can. He gave them a smug look as he heard Mr Fox sigh with relief. "Phew," the vulpine said. "I was worried there."

"What did you think I was going to whip… Oh."

"For cuss' sake," the fake Mr Fox grumbled, marching forward. "What are you going to do, tag us?"

Steven looked forward, despite his body starting to tremble. "You know I said I drained myself every morning?" There was a pause as they looked down at the can, up at him, and began stepping back. "Oh yeah," he said, walking forward with them. "The reek is on the other cheek!"

Mr Fox smiled, shooting a finger down at him. "Now there's something more offensive than involuntarily faking death." And with that, he looked at his mysterious doppelganger in the eyes. Or rather, just above the eyes as, the more he looked at it the more smaller differences he saw. Sure, were you a non-fox or even a fox who wasn't that good at the whole face thing, a glance from the side and you wouldn't be able to tell them apart. But, the more he looked, the more he saw lots of little differences. And a few big ones.

"That's a nasty impact to your head I see," he smiled, pointing at a lot of subdued bruising under the red fur of the opposing mammal.

"That's a nasty smug look you have on your face," the other vulpine replied.

"And, pardon me if I am wrong," Mr Fox pondered, "but there's a slight, shall we say, hitch in your leg as you walk. Am I correct?"

"And what if you are?" the imposter said.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," Mr Fox mused. "Though good to see the leadership is also happy to get down into the thick of it. I mean, I'd never imagine anything else, stuck behind a desk all day and directing mammals so that they can do all these crazy edge of the wire wild animal crazy operations? You would have to chain me down. With a big ball and chain. My one is called Felicity, but never we mind." He paused for a second, before looking up at the dark furred lion, with his slight scar over his eye and a paw still in a cast. "Now, excuse me to postulate for a moment, but didn't you get that fetching injury when interacting with a hyena I know?"

There was a faint twitch under the lion's eye, Mr Fox smiling. "I will take that silent confirmation as a yes then," he said, pacing about. "And as for the both of you, it seems that you have certainly been involved in our affairs, especially a whole lot of matters around my nephew." He folded his arms and leaned in. "After all, you followed two of my other friends to find a certain weasel. Now, is it too much to ask, why?"

There was a long pause, the three remaining silent.

Mr Fox's determined look faded out as he looked down at Steven, the vulpine shrugging. "I guess it is too much to ask." He turned back. "I mean come one, monologue."

"No," the other fox said.

"Really? Don't you want to do it?" he asked, waving them on. "Don't you want to give us something? Let it all out. You know," he said, paws up in the air and waving his arms. "Try a bit of quote-unquote intimidation. Putting your words out to strike fear into our hearts. Showing us how wide your plan is that it knows all this stuff about my family. Where it is with all these end seeking means, and who it is willing to do all this… Oooh, evil stuff to me. Come on, am I encouraging you?"

"No," the fox remarked, pausing to hold a paw up at the lion. And then he turned back down to Mr Fox and smiled. "I think that it's far more terrifying to you if you know nothing. From now, until the day you die."

Mr Fox snorted. "You think I'm terrified."

"No, I think you're intimidated."

"The cuss I am."

"What was that?"

"I said," Mr Fox repeated, walking forward and thrusting a paw down as he spoke. "The cuss I am."

"Oh yeah?" the imposter said, throwing his paws out. "Do you rally want to know how much we have on you."

"The cuss it'll matter!"

"The cuss it will."

"Oh yeah, you wanna cussin' prove it?"

"Do I wanna prove it?" the fake Mr Fox swaggered. "Do I wanna prove it? Do you wanna prove it?"

"Oh, I don't need to prove it?"

"Really, huh?"

"Yeah," Mr Fox said, stomping his foot. "Do you know how much we have on you?"

"The cuss it'll matter," his doppelganger mocked.

"Ha, say that when we have a skunk with a stink can pointed at all your faces, friends in the ZPD, kits taking Kung Fu lessons with a set of masters, and we know you've been messing around with the transmission systems in this station! Why?"

The opposing fox just smiled and stepped back, all as the real Mr Fox blinked with realisation. "He uh, did a reverse monologue didn't he?"

Steven nodded as the lion shook his head. "Not that we didn't already know all of that."

His fox boss jerked at the statement, his tail frazzling, before he turned around at the massive feline and pointed at the skunk. "Just get him."

The lion looked down. "Oh, that's a very clever idea. Take on the armed and dangerous mammal who…"

"Who'll make you smell bad," the fox mocked. "You'll survive. Just like all the other times."

The lion growled. "I am above all of this. I am…"

"You were, you've been demoted due to your pathetic performance," the fox growled. "Just, go up to it and take it like a mammal!"

The lion gave a bitter grimace, only for all eyes to turn to the skunk. "I mean, you could just abandon them and join us… It's not like they treat you well or anything."

"Indeed," Mr Fox said, walking forward. He pointed at the other fox and tiger. "Those two work for quite frankly the most mysterious and nebulous scary secret organisation working for weird and unusual secret means that I've ever encountered. But, ask yourself this, do they give a chance at a fulfilling way of life? Are you satisfied with how your co-workers treat you? Do you see them providing good career progression opportunities? I mean, ask yourself this, if you were selling this job to your younger self, how would you advertise it. What would be the BIG thing on offer?"

"An Incredibly early and wealthy retirement," the lion said.

Mr Fox pulled back. "Okay… But what about your quote-unquote dignity? Self-respect? Prestige?"

The lion paused, rubbing his chin, getting a stare of ire from his two compatriots. All as the large feline glanced down, looked up and took a step forward. "Okay then, entertain me," he said, taking one and three quarters of a step forward. "As a mammal whose rightful place is as a ruler of others, what do you offer?"

"Uhhh…" Mr Fox said, shrugging as he glanced at Steven, Steven glancing back. All as the lion smiled, giving a glance and a smug look at the suddenly very happy looking fox.

"Well, maybe you're not ruling others, but you're not ruled by others," Steven suggested. "That sounds nice."

"But then again, there's something quite wrong with a mammal like me having to bow down to the likes of you two. And having to endure a certain hyena having a very good life."

"You know," Mr Fox said, "that hyena has a very good outlook on life and is quite content. Maybe you could learn something from…" PING

Both Steven and Mr Fox blinked as the can of skunk spray was knocked out of the latters paw by a fast strike from the enemy fox. "What the…" Steven gasped, before looking down to see the can covered by the splattered ruins of a head of garlic, and then over to the lion's foot.

"Oh," he said, stroking under his chin with his claws. "On the contrary, I think I've got a very good outlook on life right now, and I am very content."

"Eeehhhh…" Steven winced, backing into Mr Fox's chest. "H-he threw the garlic…" He brought up his inhaler and took a deep breath. "Which lion guy kicked over to him while we tried to…" He took in another breath. "This is why normal mammals don't keep garlic in their jackets."

"It's… certainly a contributing factor, I agree," Mr Fox nodded.

All as the opposing fox chuckled. "Now that's what I'm talking about," he said. "Any more advice for these two."

"Oh no," the lion mused. "Other than that there's a reason why commoners should look down at royalty's feet."

"So, uh, now what?" Mr Fox said. "You just lock us in a room and leave?" He smiled, paws up in the air.

The two big cats chuckled, looking at each other, as their vulpine boss spoke. "Yes, in fact." The two felines paused, looking down at him, as he looked up frustrated. "WHAT!? You think we can smuggle them out of this place? I mean, their standards are low, but still…"

"Couldn't we use them for hostage negotiation?" the lion offered.

"Ah," his tiger companion mused. "Still seeking revenge against that hyena, are we?"

"No," he hissed. "For… others, the boss might need the… You know, for…"

"-Ah, the thing," the tiger agreed, as the fox in front grumbled, gritting his teeth.

"What thing is this?" Steven asked.

"Believe me," the opposing fox grumbled. "I wish I knew. But we're putting you in a room and then leaving."

"Oh," Steven agreed. "I mean, we'll just walk in and let you go then, and…"

"Of course we'll kill you first," the evil fox agreed, resulting in a mad scrabble by the skunk for his inhaler. A smirk grew across his muzzle. "Don't want to leave any witnesses."

And with that, the can in his good paw, the lion and the others begin leading the worried pair on. "Why don't we run?" Steven whispered up to Mr Fox.

"A very good question…"

…

"And after thinking it through, because they'll just catch up with us and mince us."

"Well at least we'd be trying to not get killed!"

"Ye of little faith," Mr Fox said proudly, as they walked along the corridor.

"You have a plan?"

Mr Fox gave a wink as they turned, the fox sighing as he turned to a door. "Well, end of the line," he said, reaching up to open it.

"-Wait!" the fox said, cutting them off.

They both turned to face him as the doppleganger marched forward, glancing up at the door. "OB OPS, huh?"

"Ah," the tiger agreed. "That's the Outside Broadcasting Operations room."

The fox nodded before smiling. "Exactly, I know what you're doing. Just thinking you'll lead us into a room where you'll be able to transmit out a distress signal or something. Clever. Clever…"

"I…" Mr Fox said. "No-no-no, uh…" He gave a little smile. "It was just the most convenient room. Closest if you will. I want to make things easy for all of us, uh…"

Steven looked up at him, throwing his paws out. "They're trying to kill us!"

"Admittedly, yes," Mr Fox said. "But do you really want your last action to be making things harder for everyone?"

"For them, YES!"

"Okay, but what about the cleaners?" Mr Fox said, "After all, that's why we're getting torn apart in a nice cleanable room rather than this long open corridor with its plush carpet. And what is a better, more convenient, vinyl floored room than the OB OPS room."

"Ah-ah-ah, you're not pulling that on us," the fox said. "Besides, we want a room we can lock you in so they don't find the bodies until way after we've gone."

"It-it won't work," Steven said. "I don't like relying on my mother, but when she learns what you've done…"

"We'll be halfway around the world," he dismissed. "Right," he said, looking up at the lion. "Put…"

"You really think she'll care about borders," Steven said again. "You're making a big mistake…"

"-By letting you stall for time like this!" the fox barked over them again. "Oh, clever, clever. I see your batmammal gambit. Make us think that you wanted to go into that room, while you're just waiting for someone else to come along or raise the alarm. Well, it's not going to work."

Mr Fox smiled. "Okay, so OBS-OP room it…"

"Oh no," the fox said, looking up to his lion henchmammal, and the room he was in front of. "Take them into the… -Broadcasting Under Managers room."

The tiger made his way behind the two while the lion moved to the door. "No," Mr Fox said.

"Oh yes," the lion said, grabbing the handle.

"Mr Lion!"

"You're going in," he said, turning it.

"DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR!"

The big feline opened it with gusto and enough force to shake open any nearby safety valves, turning to it and blinking as he saw a giant skunks bum let rip.

BBBBRRRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!

With a blast of noxious gas and ripped up paper the lion was sent staggering back, arms cartwheeling, straight into and through the opposite wall. The scent can he was carrying was thrown off way away, too far for its producer or the fox next to him to catch it, but they had their chance. Mr Fox grabbed Steven, making for the hole the lion had created.

"So Pong!" the skunk yelled, as the tiger shook himself to his senses and tried to make a move. "Faresmell," he added, as Mr Fox elbowed into his charging double, knocking him out of the way. "Auf Wiff-ersehen." The fox turned to him and started to move, only to get an inhaler to the eye. "Goodbye." On they charged, the skunk laughing. "Ha, I wonder what your wife would think if she knew you were up to this."

"I'm sure she'd be understanding," he smiled. "Understandingly mad."

"I'll cover for you if you want," Steven laughed, as they leapt through the void.

"Trust me," Mr Fox said. "Chances are she'll be getting some kind of shiver down her spine right now."

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As it happened, at the moment in time Mrs Fox was busy mixing some paints up and doing some preliminary sketches for a new canvas. Or at least would be, were there not a few distractions going on at the time. Rowan was cranky, the kit making a fuss all morning. That was despite him being as clean as could be. Up until an attempted feed has him gurling up the last one, at which point the source of his discomfort became rather more obvious. Sitting down, ears half listening to the news, the mother had spent twelve and a half minutes on a range of burping routines and only gained minor success at gas extraction. Consequently, she moved her little kit, making half-cry like whines and batting and running with his paws and legs in frustration, onto her lap. A few jiggles on her leg had him whining even more, so at that point she held him on her lap, giving his stomach a set of long and heavily pressurised massages. She carried it on dutifully, the sounds of Fabienne Growley or Peter Moosebridge only occasionally breaking her attention with some quip about a protest turned violent by some squirrels or something.

Soon though, her son snapped her attention away again. The squick-like gurgles and squeaks from his gut, and his uncomfortable yet at the same time somehow appreciative reactions, had her relatively positive that she was on the right track. It was a mixture of wind, albeit at the lower end, potentially addled by a blockage which she could, slowly but surely, move towards an area where it could be expelled, to much relief. It also gave her time to look over him more. Ash had the same amber with a hint of green eyes that his father had, while her nephew had always had the blue of her own family, passed on by her sister. And looking at him now, it seemed that he was going that way as well. She smiled, before frowning. "Hopefully though this means you haven't inherited your fathers penchant for getting in trouble," she said, before pausing. "I'll begrudgingly accept my penchant for getting into trouble seeing as I grew out of it."

He began giving a set of groans and whines, shaking about in her lap as his eyes began to water. She sighed, changing her massaging routine. "Come on," she said softly. "There's a good boy." A sudden wail pierced the air, her ears going back as he kicked and fussed, arms and legs scrabbling about. Bar one leg, which tried to pull up and scratched against the bottom of his lower abdomen. As he began racking into a bunch of sobs, she pulled him up, using two fingers to start to massage and push at the area, loud squelches coming out and riding over Peter Moosebridge as he moved on to the weather.

"Come on, almost there," she said softly. "Let's get this done, and I can get back to painting and worrying about what kind of stupid mess your father has inevitably gotten himself into." She smiled and nodded as she said it, even as Rowan closed his eyes, winced and, shaking his head. BBBBRRRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!

Felicity blinked, eyes glancing up at the TV screen as a confused Peter Moosebridge and Fabienne Growly looked at each other in confusion before the ZNN backdrop behind them burst apart in a shower of paper, torn up wood and drywall as a Lion came tumbling through. "What the…" the moose exclaimed, as the massive feline crashed down onto the middle of the desk, splitting it clean in half.

Felicity glanced down at him, before her eyes rose to see a giant picture of a skunk butt staring at her through the void, complete with a torn open gap where she presumed. Paaaaaaaarrrrrrrrpppppppppppp

Rowan's attempt, extraordinary when judged on its own, was shadowed into near insignificance, though the vixen still instinctually gave the now greatly relieved young fox a little jiggle in her cradling arms. "Well," she said. "This is…"

"Trust me," a voice came over the television, her ears wilting like flowers in a drought. She looked on as her husband and a skunk reporter they'd had dealings with back in that difficult week jumped through the void. "Chances are she'll be getting some kind of shiver down her spine right now."

"How did you guess," she said quietly, pausing as she heard Rowan beginning to giggle and laugh, pointing at the television. She could only sigh. "Yes," she groaned. "That's daddy on the television."

He was making a few pardons and claims he was 'just doing an everyday escape from an evil doppelganger slash double, though most certainly not a secret long lost brother or clone', when another red furred mammal raced through, causing Mr Fox to leap to the side.

They both halted, staring each other off.

The vixen stared at it blankly. "I don't even know why I try," she said, before pausing as she looked down. An increasingly upset Rowan had his paw out, roughly pointing between the two versions of his father, his face slowly wincing up. A few more shakes between them, and he curled up into himself as he began crying.

Felicity nodded. "I feel the same way."

And with that, she turned the television off and walked out of the room.

.

.

.

.

"What on earth is going on!?" Peter Moosebridge yelled, standing up before being knocked to the side as a tiger marched in. He pointed down at the real Mr Fox and, turning to the camera, spoke up. "That fox is an imposter."

"On the contrary," Mr Fox said, turning to his opponent. "That fox there is the imposter."

"I think you'll find," the tiger repeated, pulling the groaning lion up to his feet, "that we outvote you. Don't we?"

He turned to his feline companion who nodded, slowly.

"Newsflash!" Their eyes turned to Steven Stinkman, standing up on the chair. "A recent attempt to interview a fox for a role at our company went bizarrely wrong today, when a mysterious doppelganger used his entrance to let him and his lion and tiger goons to sneak in. As of yet, we do not know what their goals are, but they did try and kill me and the original fox. Which is that one there."

He pointed right at the real Mr Fox who nodded. "Naturally," he said, "and right now, you three are trapped."

The interloper scoffed. "Really? You're going to believe him and that skunk…"

"I've seen him around enough to know he isn't an imposter," Fabienne said, a sneer growing on her muzzle as her claws began to extend.

"Also," Peter said, crowding in on them. "I think you'll find that we'd keep you both here until the ZPD arrive to sort this out. Sit down, stay quiet, we've already moved onto…" He paused, looking over at the teleprompter. "-Business news. Right, sit by Randy until the cops come here. Cynthia, call them in."

"I don't think that'll be nec…" came a voice from over by the cameras, only for the moose to cut her off.

"Just do it, okay," he said, before turning to the tiger. "Right, all of you, stand over there and… -why are the cameras still running!?"

"Calling the cops," came the offscreen voice again.

Peter just shook his head. "For… -Cynthia, cut it off!"

"You kidding?" came the reply.

"No! I…" He just waved his hooves and pushed the tiger forward. "Right, everyone in a group." He gave a glance down at Steven. "You too."

"Fine," he said, rolling his eyes as he jumped down and began walking off. "Honestly still a major upgrade after what those three tried to do to us."

Peter narrowed his eyes. "Do I want to ask?"

At which point the tiger he was escorting smiled. "As a matter of fact…" he said, pulling up a familiar looking can. "No."

Steven's eyes widened and he yelled out a warning, only for it to be too late. "GAHHH!" the moose yelled, stumbling back from a face full of skunk spray. Fabienne meanwhile buckled and gagged, paws over her mouth, as the imposter fox turned on his heel and kicked off a shocked Mr Fox, racing back off into the gap with his two henchmammals.

"Oh no you don't," Mr Fox yelled, racing back after them, Steven racing up into the void and looking in, yelling after him.

"Why would you do that?"

Far ahead, racing on after them, Mr Fox turned to pause, throwing his arms out. "It's called being heroic."

Groaning, the skunk scrabbled over the break in the wall and, wheezing a little, raced up next to him. "But there's three of them, one of you. How do you expect to…"

Mr Fox shook his head. "I mean, that'll be worked out when I reach them," he said, finger up. "Besides, I have to at least put in the effort." He began racing forward again, only to freeze as he turned the corner, paws going over his mouth.

There, in the middle of the room, was the exploded remains of the skunk spray can, its contents scattered all around the passageway creating what could only be described as a portal to smell.

Mr Fox blinked, turning back down. "On a second thought… Got any of that garlic left?"

"No," he said. "I'm guessing you were going to stick it up your nose."

"Yes," he said, running his fingers along his chin. "Though I'd have worded it more… you know, awesomely. The question is, what do we do now?"

"I mean, wait for the cops to arrive?"

Rolling his paw in the air, the fox looked down. "Before that," he said, pausing as he heard the skittering of paws on the floor.

"-Ah, you two," the arctic fox smiled, holding a paw out in the air. "I must say, I didn't expect you to send our ratings to the stratosphere this soon!"

Mr Fox smiled. "Just one of my many benefits, including but not limited to hunting down imposters, doppelgangers and evil secret twins."

The white fox nodded. "What about clones?"

"Naturally extra."

"Anyway," he said, smiling as he moved to the side. "Given the no-show by the real Miss Victorias, I was going to retreat to my corporate rooftop jacuzzi… Only there's a slight… problem, with the route to it." He sniffed the air, wincing, before stepping back and away. "I think I'll pass."

He walked off, leaving the two standing there. "Okay, good to know," Steven said. "But now what?"

Scratching his chin, Mr Fox suddenly froze. "Did he say there was a corporate rooftop jacuzzi that way?"

"I don't have my trunks with me."

"No, no," Mr Fox cut in. "Rooftop jacuzzi. That means jacuzzi. That also means rooftop which means all the things you get on rooftops, like those spinny spiral metal things that are shaped like chefs hats and…" He paused, fox looking to skunk and skunk looking back, both their eyes widening at the same time.

"Window cleaning equipment!" They raced off towards the stairs. "Do you know which part of the building it goes down?" Mr Fox yelled as they leapt down the flights of steps.

"I never paid any attention," he said, pausing as he turned off the stairs and out through a door. "But this floor is just one giant room, we'll be able to see them!"

In the two went, pausing as they found themselves looking out over a huge news room filled with desks… And the occupiers all looking back.

There was an odd silence for a second or two, as Mr Fox moved forward and cleared his throat. "Hello, do any of you…"

"WOOOO!" came a cry. "It's those guys!"

A cheer repeated once, then twice, then five, ten, a hundred times. "I, uh, thank you," Mr Fox smiled, bowing a little. "Thank you, but we must…" He paused as he was mobbed by a bunch of excited mammals. "Sorry to seem a bit disrespectful," he laughed to himself, finger up. Not that the excited crowd paid his protests any attention.

The same could be said for the begrudgingly given complaints and very much forced protests of Steven, the skunk currently being paraded around on the shoulders of a bunch of his fellow workers. "Uh, thanks," he smiled, waving. "But uh… You know… Those imposters, they're…" He scanned around, pausing as he saw a flash of something swoop down past the window. "Hold on, there they are!"

"WHOOO! YEAH! YOU DID IT!" came a loud shout in the skunks ear, sending his head and hat askew.

"Okay," he groaned, giving some more resistance. "Okay…" Squirming and pushing, he got himself loose and scrabbled out and away. "I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE!" he yelled, running past Mr Fox, who somehow extricated himself from his baying fans. He raced off towards the door only to pause, turning back.

"Last ditch attempt to capture the bad guys! Follow us if interested."

And with that he took off, followed by that most rare but exciting thing, a baying mob of groupies ready to kick bad guy butt. Mr Fox quickly caught up with Steven, the skunk jamming the down button on the lift as fast as he could. The door quickly opened up, the pair and a dozen or so followers jumping in. Steven pressed the ground floor button and waited.

An awkward stare was shared between occupants, before Steven pressed it again.

…

And again.

Finally, the tinny crack of a voice over the speaker broke out. One that immediately gave the fox and skunk flashbacks to the impassive face of a paperback novel with long ears sticking out from behind it. "Minimum capacity is ten. Learn to read."

Mr Fox shook his head, pointing at the sign. "OR this weight," he said, tapping the sign. "Are we above that?"

"If you're asking that question, let's face it, you know the answer."

"Right," Mr Fox sighed. "Okay, uhhh, if you two take the stairs and… okay, he's volunteering to swap, so is he, but there's a third, okay that's over… No, we don't need five of you to go, just two, and…" He went quiet, looking down at Steven. "I think we should have just kept to the stairs."

The skunk sighed, pressing the ground floor button over and over again, waiting for the doors to finally close.

…

"Okay, here we are!" Mr Fox said, bursting out onto the ground floor and racing along the street. There were already a number of officers standing there, waiting as the window cleaners basket came down lower, and lower, and lower.

Steven smiled. "I think we've got him!"

Mr Fox nodded. "Bringing them in, to the sweet smell of skunky success."

"Uh-hu," Steven smiled. "And the sound of Oh-team!"

Mr Fox paused, ears flickering. "Odd, I hear that unusual sound of victory too." They both looked at each other, then up at the basket as it slowed down, approaching the ground. All as the sound coming from it got clearer. "Oh… Teee-em. Oh Teeee em." Some of the larger officers looking over peaked in and their eyes widened, calls for medics coming out. All as it finally hit the ground with a jolt, its only occupant being a dazed leopard in a window cleaners uniform, his serious looking face marred by a large bruise to his head. A giraffe came over and pulled him out, ready to take him over to a squad car and rush him to hospital. As he went past, his phone slipped from his grip, showing a Ewetube video of a chinchilla and two guinea pigs singing out. "O. T. M. -I wanna be, a viral star…"

Mr Fox turned to look at him, then back at the basket. "Okay. There goes that theory."

Steven nodded. "But why did they knock him out and send him down on his own?" He asked, before shaking his head. "Probably just didn't want him as a witness."

"To what," Mr Fox pondered. "And why send them down unless…" He paused, looking down at Steven. "I think we got distracted."

"What? When?"

"By this," Mr Fox said, pausing as he looked at the building. While at the top it stood up tall and proud as its own tower, near the bottom it joined up to the others around it. "Say, there isn't a way into any of the other buildings, is there?"

"No," Steven said, only to pause. "Unless you jump from that little step on the building there," he said, pointing to one that travelled around the other side and out of their view. "Onto the roof of that bank building, at which point you could go to literally all of those…"

"From the newspaper building there to the KAC-L radio offices over..."

"-Oh, it's pronounced 'Kackle'."

"Interesting. The basis for that quote-unquote fun fact?"

"It's owned by a hyena."

"The more you know," Mr Fox mused. "And, if we move to the side, see the reflection of the hidden side of the ZNN building in the side of that building over there, we can see…" He paused, squinting his eyes. And with that, he turned down and nodded. "Yup, they distracted us and ran out that way."

…

"Are we going to do something?" Steven asked. "I mean maybe I could get out a stink spray or something, or…"

"Hmmmm, I think the time for low brow stuff like that has passed I'm afraid," Mr Fox said, eyes narrowing as he pointed at the escaping bad guys. "But, whatever highbrow obstacles you meet and escape in there, let it be known. One day, you will be caught and brought to justice!"

Steven nodded, before clapping along.

.

.

.

"Excuse me, what am I supposed to do with these?" The wolf sitting at his radio chair looked down at the food he had been provided, messing it about with his fork. "I mean, both scrambled egg and tossed salad? In one dish?"

A voice came over to him. "You said you wanted something Avant Garde. And you're on in ten seconds.

"Yes," he said, "but why bother giving me this if I had no time to…" The click of a light and he turned to the speaker. "Hello," he said, in an extra dulcet tone. "Professor Frasier Maim, on KAC-L…" There was a slight knock on the glass behind him, an annoyed hyena looking in, not that he paid him any mind. "Anyway, moving on, shall we have our first listener?"

He clicked the button and smiled. "This is Doctor Frasier Maim. I'm listening."

"Hello," came a curt, polite, response. "I'm having an issue with my marriage. Or rather, my husband."

"Ah, matrimony," he said, "so, what would you say your problem is?"

"My husband has started going on increasingly dangerous and threatening adventures, despite my persistent scolding and passive aggressive reminders that he has young kits and should stick to his safe, dependable and when you think about it incredibly easy job in order to support us and not die horribly."

"So," he smiled. "You've got a husband into the extreme sports I see!"

"No, more a penchant for getting into extremely complex and violent conspiracies."

"I…" he began, pausing as his ears rose at some sounds from behind him. "-That sounds rather extreme," he smiled. "Could you give us an example?"

"Bursting onto the ZNN midday news along with a skunk, pursuing a near identical copy of himself along with a lion and a tiger, who then sprayed Peter Moosebridge with what I assume is canned skunk musk…"

The wolf held his mouth open for a second, and eyebrow slowly rising. "Could you repeat that please?"

"Check on the ZNN website, it just happened."

"I…" he began, turning to his assistant before jolting back in shock. "Well, uh, was it really his fault that… that happened."

"Probably not," she said.

"So…" he began, putting on a slightly cheery tone. "I mean, at least you'll get one extraordinary story out of it!"

"I'd use the word exhausting."

"Well," he fumbled. "In any case…" He paused, shuddering as a loud crash came out from behind him. "What in the blazes!"

"Excuse me?"

"Uh, sorry… Maybe… understand the extraneous circumstances and forgive your husband…"

"Indeed, I've now made peace with him and laid the blame on the entire universe."

He chuckled. "Well, that's one way of doing it!"

"Yes, but what can I do about it?"

"In… what way?"

"I can't slightly overcook all the universes food and act additionally curt towards it when I'm upset, can I?"

"Well," he chuckled. "You can call me! Which you just did, and…"

He was broken off by a loud crash, the bag of a door, and the yell of the hyena from earlier flying over his desk. Eyes wide, he jumped back. "GOOD GOD!"

"Not with this performance…"

"-AND STAY OUT OF OUR WAY!" Came a yell, as a very angry, but now very proud lion stood in the door, a far smaller figure racing past on the other side.

"KEEP GOING YOU IDIOT!" came a bark. "WE'RE ALMOST AT THE GETAWAY CAR!"

The lion looked down at him before turning his head back in. "In a moment, let me just bask in the glow of showing that trash species who really rules the…"

He was cut off by the impact of a plate of tossed salad and scrambled egg impacting his face, dead on. And then, silently, he was pulled along by a tiger and out of view.

The wolf dusted his paws and scoffed. "Inadequate at gym, am I," he said, turning back to the radio. "Anyway… I think you can now take solace in knowing it can happen to anyone."

"I'd be inclined not to."

"Well," he smiled. "As we've just learned, that's life." He clicked her off. "We'll be back after these messages." He gave a click, stood up, looked at his throwing arm with a giant smile on his muzzle and then turned his attention to the hyena who'd been tossed onto his desk.