Hello and welcome to another video! I am Random Voice The First and I will be doing the voiceover for this lovely woman today! But before we get into it don't forget to like, subscribe and murder the bell so you don't miss an uplo-

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What do you mean wrong script? No, it's not Tuesday, look – here is the calendar. 17th of March 2015 is, oh. It's Tuesday. My bad bro. What are we recording today then? The Kane thing? Right. Okay, let's regroup.

17.03.2015

Random Voice 1

You know, I think I love narrating ba trips way more than Carter and Sadie like going on them. It's not that bad.

Correction, I have been informed that ba trips feel different if your brain knows what throwing up feels like. I don't have a brain.

Let's set the scene:

We were in the Hall of Ages, the heart of First Nome. Sadie Kane's ba was observing from above the throne. She was right next to me, in fact, but she didn't notice. (Because I'm an international super spy)

Throne's not impressive, it's been empty for too long. On the step below it, however, sat the Chief Lector, master of the First Nome, leader of the House of Life, Five-time winner of the annual "best magician's beard" award and everyone's favorite fighting Frenchman: Michel Desjardins!

(You're laughing. He won the annual "best magician's beard" award five years in a roll and you're laughing.)

Yes, kids, Desjardins is great. And also tired. He'd only become Chief Lector a few months ago, but his slick black hair and forked beard were now streaked with gray. He leaned wearily on his staff, as if the Chief Lector's leopard-skin cape across his shoulders was as heavy as lead. He's eyes were studying the bloodred scenes in the curtains of light, lining the hall.

"Est-il alle?" he asked.

From behind the throne, a raspy voice answered, "Yes, my lord."

A man stepped out of the shadows. Everything about him was white – his skin, his suit, his scarf, even the scar tissue under his (yes, white) glasses. I guess that's what spies look like in Russia when they're trying to blend in with the snow. He had a pleasant smile and chubby face framed in curly gray hair.

The man took off his glasses and kneeled before the Chief Lector.

Let's talk about Vladimir Menshikov's vision, because Sadie was right in her assumption that it would be ridiculous for this man to have zero vision loss after such an injury. I mean, his eyelids were masses of scar tissue that didn't close properly. His eyebrows were burned away. The skin above his cheekbones was a mask of red welts, and the eyes themselves were a mix of blood red and milky white.

To get our facts right, Menshikov had bilateral optical neuropathy, which for him meant loss of color saturation and loss of central vision duo to optic nerve damage in both eyes.

What Sadie got wrong was that the being sustaining the body did not need to be restrained by the physical abilities of its vessel. It was, however, good at putting on a show.

Vlad inhaled, wheezing. Glittering against his shirt was a silver pendant with a snake-shaped amulet.

"He used the portal moments ago, my lord," the man rasped. "Finally, he has gone."

He approached Desjardins, who was still staring at the curtains of light. At the last pillar, just next to the throne, the light was changing. The reddish tint of the modern age was darkening to a deep purple, the color of bruises.

The Hall of Ages had the magical ability to age. (Got it? Age – Ages. Anyway.) The room grew longer as the years passed, projecting important moments from each of the House's Eras. Lucky few are those that get to see it happening. Like now. The floor and walls rippled like a mirage, expanding ever so slowly, and the sliver of purple light widened.

"Ah," said Vladimir. "It's much clearer now."

"A new age," Desjardins murmured. "A darker age. The color of the light has not changed for a thousand years, Vladimir."

"It is the Kanes, of course. You should've killed the elder one while he was in our power."

"No. He was under our protection. All who seek healing must be given sanctuary-even Kane."

Vladimir took a deep breath. "But surely now that he has left, we must act. You heard the news from Brooklyn, my lord. The children have found the first scroll. If they find the other two-"

"I know, Vladimir."

"They humiliated the House of Life in Arizona. They made peace with Set rather than destroy him. And now they seek the Book of Ra. If you would allow me to deal with them-"

The top of Desjardins' staff erupted in purple fire. "Who is Chief Lector?" he demanded.

Vladimir's pleasant expression faltered. "You are, my lord."

"And I will deal with the Kanes in due time, but Apophis is our greatest threat. We must divert all our power to keeping down the Serpent . If there is any chance the Kanes can help us restore order-"

"But, Chief Lector," Vladimir interrupted. His tone had a new intensity-an almost magical force to it. "The Kanes are part of the problem. They have upset the balance of Ma'at by awakening the gods. They are teaching forbidden magic. Now they would restore Ra, who has not ruled since the beginning of Egypt! They will throw the world into disarray. This will only help Chaos."

Ah, the best lies are always technical truths.

Desjardins blinked, as if confused. "Perhaps you're right. I must think on this."

Vladimir bowed. "As you wish, my lord. I will gather our forces and await your orders to destroy Brooklyn House."

"Destroy," Desjardins frowned. "Yes, you will await my orders. I will choose the time to attack, Vladimir."

"Very good, my lord. And if the Kane children seek the other two scrolls to awaken Ra? One is beyond their reach, of course, but the other-"

"I will leave that to you. Guard it as you think best."

"My lord is wise," Vladimir said. "The children will seek the scrolls, my lord. They have no choice. If they leave their stronghold and come into my territory-"

"Didn't I just say we will dispose of them?" Desjardins said flatly. "Now, leave me. I must think."

Vladimir retreated into the shadows. For someone dressed in white, he managed to disappear quite well.

Desjardins returned his attention to the shimmering curtain of light.

"A new age" he mused. "An age of darkness"