How long is the 17th?

17.03.2015

Anubis

He appeared with the sound of thunder and the smell of ozone. And a pile of sand I would have to sweep away later.

"Lord Osiris is not here at the moment."

"Thank Ma'at! I don't need to see my brother, I'm here for you."

My eyes widened and he laughed.

"I'm not going to kidnap you, relax. Why does everyone assume the worst of me?"

"Because you are the worst. What do you want Set?"

Set looked around. "I need a favor and I don't know who else to ask."

"Absolutely not."

"Anubis-"

"No."

"Don't you want to help your new cousins?"

A limousine pulled up to a stop and the ugliest man you'll ever meet came out with a bang.

Bes saw me and his eyes lit up. Before I could protest, he pulled me into a hug.

"Anubis, you little jackal!" He pulled away to look me over. "Look how much you've grown! You were this small when I last saw you! How's your uncle, eh?"

Bes might have been ugly, sure. But he always carried so much love in his small body that it spilled over. You couldn't help but smile around him.

"He's good."

"Good, that's good. I should visit more often, but you guys were gone for quite a while."

I was still here, holding up the front on my own, but I wasn't going to mention it. Wouldn't be polite.

Bes's smile grew wider. "So, what have you called on old Bes for, kid? Just so you know, I'll be busy tomorrow."

"Yeah, about that. Plans have changed."

The Dead Area closest to Sadie ended up being a graveyard. It was a part of an old medieval church, hidden between a Caffe and a chemist's shop. The graveyard was enclosed by a rusty gate, the type that you would hear screeching at night.

It wasn't long till Sadie appeared around the corner with her friends. There was no sign of Babi and Nekhbet, but I could hear them - the baboon god roaring, the vulture goddess shrieking "This way! This way!"

There wasn't much time. The girls had their backs turned towards me. I whispered "Sadie" to catch her attention.

She turned around, a bit jumpy.

I cringed. "Sorry, did I scare you?"

Sadie glared at me. "I'm being chased, of course you scared me!"

That's when her friends noticed me. One of them stared, the other stumbled into Sadie.

She shot both of them a harsh look, then turned back to me.

"It's about time someone friendly showed up! There's a baboon and a vulture trying to kill us. Would you please sort them out?"

I pursed my lips. Politics. To be fair, we all saw it coming. With Chaos rising, the gods were way more prone to in-fighting. The Kanes wanting to awake Ra was just the last nail in the sarcophagus. This was the main thing Horus had been ranting about at dinner for the past week – he was terrified of a divine civil war.

"Come into my territory," I said, opening the graveyard gate. "We need to talk, and there isn't much time."

One of Sadie's friends – short, darkskin, spikey hair – stumbled into Sadie again. "Your, um, territory?"

The pale redhead next to her gulped. "Who-ah-?"

"Shhh," Sadie glanced down the street, but the gods were still far away. "Wait here."

And she entered the graveyard.

I led us to a nearby bench. When we sat down, the ghosts around stirred. They were mostly interested in me. Spirits are used to being ignored, so if you look at them, they will always happily look back.

Let's get this over with before Lord Osiris notices I'm gone.

"The Eighteenth Nome," I said.

"Excuse me?"

Set's words were spinning in my mind.

"That's where you must go. Vladimir Menshikov has the second section of the Book of Ra in the top drawer of his desk, in his headquarters in St. Petersburg. It's a trap, of course. He's hoping to bait you. But if you want the scroll, you've got no choice. You should go tonight, before he has time to strengthen his defenses even further. And Sadie, if the other gods found out I was telling you this, I would be in big trouble."

They would ask where I got the information from. Aunt Isis wouldn't be happy that I've entertained Set's conversation.

Sadie stared at me.

"You're worried about getting into trouble?" she asked. "Anubis, not that I'm ungrateful, but I've got bigger problems at the moment. Two gods have possessed my grandparents. If you want to lend a hand-"

"Sadie, I can't intervene." I turned up my palms in frustration. "I told you when we first met, this isn't an actual physical body. I can manifest in places of death, like this churchyard, but there is very little I can do outside my territory."

Her face fell and I felt bad about it. How do you cheer up a human?

"Now, if you were already dead and you wanted a nice funeral, I could help you, but-"

"Oh, thanks!"

Ah, annoyance. That was a ground we understood each other on.

Somewhere nearby, Babi roared. Glass shattered, and bricks crumbled. The spirits around began to panic, hiding in their graves. Sadie's friends called for her, but the sound came muffled through the Duat.

"If I go on without my friends," she asked me, "will the gods leave them alone?"

I shook my head. "Nekhbet preys on the weak. She knows that hurting your friends will weaken you. That's why she targeted your grandparents. The only way to stop her is by facing her down. As for Babi, he represents the darkest qualities of you primates: murderous rage, uncontrolled strength-"

"We primates? Sorry, did you just call me a baboon?"

Did this girl think everything was about her? No, I did not, oh my gods!

"I'd forgotten how irritating you are. My point was that like any human he will kill you just for the sake of killing."

"And you can't help me."

"I told you about St. Petersburg."

Sadie rolled her eyes.

"Well, then, god of pretty much nothing useful, anything else before I get myself killed?"

This is the part for which I would really get in trouble. 'Grounded to not leave Duat' kind of get in trouble.

I held out my hand. The blade I snuck out of the Land of the Dead glistened - long, curvy, and wickedly sharp along one edge, made from black metal.

"Take this," I said. "It will help."

Sadie stared at me.

"Have you seen the size of the baboon? Am I supposed to give him a shave?"

Ma'at give me patience, because if you give me strength, I'll kill her.

"This is not to fight Babi or Nekhbet, but you will need it soon for something even more important. It's a netjeri blade, made from meteoric iron. It's used for a ceremony I once told you about-the opening of the mouth."

"Yes, well, if I survive the night, I'll be sure to take this razor and open someone's mouth. Thanks ever so much."

The girls screamed, "Sadie!"

Through the mist of the graveyard, I saw Babi a few blocks away, lumbering toward the church. He'd spotted them.

"Take the Underground," I suggested, pulling Sadie to her feet. "There's a station half a block south. They won't be able to track you very well below the earth. Running water is also good. Creatures of the Duat are weakened by crossing a river. If you must battle them, find a bridge over the Thames. Oh, and I told your driver to come get you."

"My driver?"

"Yes. He wasn't planning to meet you until tomorrow, but-"

A red Royal Mail box hurtled through the air and smashed into the building next door.

"Go," I said. "I'm sorry I can't do more. But happy birthday, cousin."