Epiphany

by NoLove10

Epiphany: They say it's the little moments in life, the ones you can point at and have absolute clarity of what was missing. Fitzgerald Grant knew all about epiphanies but the last thing he expected when he walked into Mike's Pub was to fall in love.

10. Chapter 10

"I fucked up, Abby." Olivia said. "I fucked up and it's bad. It's really bad."

Tonight was girl's night. It was their little ritual on Thursday nights and normally, Olivia always looks forward to spend quality time with her long time best friend after a long day of teaching kindergartners but tonight she was so out of it. Thoughts of what she and Fitz had done a few nights ago wouldn't let her fully be in the moment. She needed to tell someone or she was going to explode.

She was tense. Abby could tell that from her excessive wine drinking and the fact that she was pacing a hole into the floors of the kitchen. It was something Olivia did when she was really on freaking out mode. She paced back and forth. And sometimes when it was really bad, she paced in perfect circles. Tonight was a combination of both with excessive wine drinking. This was serious and Abby knew it.

Concern creased the redhead's eyebrows as she looked at her best friend. "It can't be that bad."

Olivia stopped for a moment and looked at the redhead. "It is." She said, taking a long sip of her wine.

"Is there a body involved, a weapon, witnesses?" Abby asked. "And If yes, may I suggest we start digging at the cemetery at 2 o'clock tonight?"

Olivia fixed her best friend a puzzling glare as if she's lost her mind. "Jesus, Abby! I didn't kill anyone, you morbid bitch."

"Well... okay then, it's not murder so again, it can't be that bad." Abby shrugged, clearing her expression from any signs of judgement and worry. It wouldn't help matters much if she was judgmental if the situation was as bad as Olivia was making it out to be. "Whatever it is, you can tell me and then we'll figure out what's next together."

"I kissed Fitz!" Olivia blurted.

Abby nearly chopped off all her fingers when the news registered in her ears. "When did that happen?"

"Few days ago." Olivia replied.

Now that she had gotten it off her chest, she was more at ease to talk about it.

"I kissed him Abby. I kissed him and it was... soul healing. Oh my God, I sound like a goddamn cliché. Hah!" Olivia was rambling and she was aware but she was so far from caring. "I loved every single second of his lips against mine. It shouldn't have felt so good; I shouldn't have liked it as much as I did and still do because he's my best friend and best friends don't tongue fuck each other but we did and I loved it. Now I'm avoiding him like the freaking plague because I don't know how to be around him without thinking about the way his lips tasted. It's all I can think about. It's playing on a loop in my mind and it's driving me absolutely hysterical!"

Abby's silence at the moment wasn't helping much. This was the part where she stepped in and smacked some sense into her. This was the part where she jumped in and say something really helpful and reassuring that would make her stop freaking out.

"Say something." Olivia begged.

"Shit?" Abby said.

So it was that bad. She really screwed this one up all on her own. Like everything else in my life.

"Shit, what?" Olivia asked.

"Shit - It's about fucking time!" Abby hollered.

Now it was Olivia's turn to be speechless. What did that even mean?

"What in the hell are you talking about, Abigail Sunshine Whelan?" She questioned.

Abby rolled her eyes and threw her head back with a sigh. She didn't see why she had to use her full government name. "First of all, fuck you, Strawberry shortcake. Secondly, Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, Liv. Even a blind person can see how stupidly in love that man is with you. I'm just surprised it took this long for something to happen between you guys. I was so convinced that Spain would have been it. I was so hoping it would be when you guys stopped pretending to not notice what is so clearly and completely there between the two of you. That man is so in love with you. I don't think he knows how to be anything else."

To Olivia, nothing the redhead was saying was making any sense. What is that thing that was so clearly and completely there that she was of course failing to acknowledge? Why would anything happen in Spain? Why would Abby think that Fitz was in love with her? So many questions ran on a loop in Olivia's head. She was beginning to feel dizzy. And of course because denial was bliss, she had to say it for her own peace of mind, if not for all else.

"Fitz is not in love with me."

Denial.

Abby shook her head in amusement to her best friend's oblivion. "You, my dear are very much in denial." She said. "That man's been totally Poped by you since day one. He finds every way possible to be around you; to spend time with you. He walks around with these fucking heart eyes like some cartoon character. When he thinks nobody's paying attention, he looks at you with this stupid love-sick look in his eyes. I have the impression that he thinks you hang the moon and light the stars in the sky. You say jump, he asks how high. Quite frankly if I didn't think it was kind of cute, I'd say he was pathetic. Not to mention the fact that he always seems to be in this happy fucking bubble whenever he's around you. If that's not the purest form of love, then I don't know what is."

At this point, Olivia thought she would be a fool not to listen and she couldn't believe her ears. Abby was an outsider looking in so her observations were probably spot on because like herself, the redhead was a pretty great judge of character and she knew her shit. So of course, she was forced to accept what's probably always been in front of her. Fitz is in love with her. Has been for a while now and she's the idiot that never picked up on any of it.

How could she have been so stupid?

"Why didn't you say anything?" Olivia asked.

The tiny redhead simply shrugged her shoulders with a smile playing on her lips. "You never asked." She replied before resuming to the task in front of her on the cutting board.

"Since when have you known?" Olivia asked out of curiosity.

"I had my suspicions at Gumbo Night when he insisted that you keep running your fingers through his hair while he was playing that poker game with the other guys because apparently, you were his juju." Abby said. "But my suspicions weren't confirmed until that time at the beach. I mean, my God, you should've seen yourselves. It's like y'all didn't give a fuck about anybody else around you that day. You were never more than a foot away from him and no matter how hard he tried, the poor thing, his hands would always seek some form of contact with you. He looked at you like you are his whole world. And those goddamn forehead kisses he kept giving you throughout the night. It was in everything he did and I'd never seen you more carefree or happier."

Olivia knew exactly what day Abby was referring to. It had been at the beginning of August and it was by far the hottest day of summer they'd gotten. Everything felt disgusting that day and when Abby suggested that they ditched their adult responsibilities to go live young, wild and free at the beach, Olivia thought she would call Fitz and extend an invitation. Quinn, Harrison, Celery, Stephen, Charlie, Mike and his girlfriend had tagged along. Olivia remembers the way Fitz had seized her up; looked her up and down and turned all red when he saw her in the white two piece bikini she had worn. She had so obliviously and readily trumped his reaction to that of a man, because after all, that's exactly what it was. And if his reaction had been anything less than or different, she would've had questions. But now she was seeing things more clearly. She remembers being thrown over his shoulder and him running towards the water with her even as she protested. She remembers sharing his ice cream despite having her own, because his for some odd reason to her always tasted better. That day had to have been one of the best days of her life. She remembers laughing so much and feeling so light and carefree. It all had to do with him being around that day as much as it scared her to admit it. Though, the highlight of that day had been sitting between his legs and sharing a blanket with him, long after the sun had set. They sipped on wine coolers and beers and kept warm around the bonfire Stephen had created. Inappropriate jokes had flown around and they all laughed. It was the best of time. When they were all drunk enough on the wine coolers and beers, they'd retreated to singing some bad, hysterical karaoke - screaming at the top of their lungs to 90's RnB. They were all just living life as carefree as possible. At the end of that night, when Fitz dropped her off, Olivia remembers sitting in the passenger's seat next to him in his truck for the longest time and letting the silence between them speak volumes to everything they weren't brave enough to put into words, then. And when he had gently pressed a kiss to her cheek and bid her goodnight, Olivia remembers closing her eyes and wishing every day of the rest of her life would be like that day.

How could she have been so blind to all of this?

How many ways could a person describe just how naive she's been? Just how stupid? Because as a teacher, Olivia could come up with almost all of them. Still didn't change the fact that she should've seen it.

"I'm screwed, aren't I?" It wasn't even a question. More like an understatement.

Abby nodded. "Pretty much." She was blatantly honest. "You can't avoid him forever. Eventually you're gonna have to talk to him, Liv. Figure your shit out and set that man free if you don't feel the same way about him." But deep down, the redhead had a strong intuition that her best friend felt just as Fitz did. She just had to come to that realization on her own time, when her heart was ready to speak to her.

For now, she was more than happy to take a front row seat to see how this whole thing unfolds itself because it guaranteed to be pretty damn spectacular and there's no way she was going to miss it.

---

Trying to avoid someone who consumes her every thought daily proved to be a harder task than Olivia could ever have guessed. If she thought that it was complicated enough after the kiss Fitz planted on her, her talk with Abby made things tenfold.

Fitz was in love with her and she didn't know how to deal with that. And though Olivia knew the revelation didn't exactly come from Fitz himself, her gut was starting to tell her the same thing Abby did. Looking back at everything that's happened to her these last few months, there wasn't a moment in which Fitz wasn't present for her. Every tear, every smile, every laughter, he was there for it all and Olivia realized then that she was the one who's been reading the signs wrong all along. Fitz's feelings for her though subtle has always been as clear as day and it pissed her off that she was just now realizing it.

Tonight was night one of her misery. It marked a very restless night of constant tossing and turning. The kiss being the sole purpose.

Olivia couldn't stop thinking about it. His lips; the softness of their texture, the way they seized her mouth and fit in perfect sync along with her own. And his tongue. God, his tongue! The things he did to her with his tongue... God almighty, bless him eternally.

Just thinking about it made her toes curl all over again. If she closed her eyes long enough, she could still feel the intense sensation of that kiss that burned her through her loins and raced through her veins. She could still feel the silkiness of his curls escaping through her fingers as his tongue teased the sensitive bud of her nipples through the fabric of her t-shirt. She could still hear the animalistic growl that escaped her lips when he tugged at her lower lip between his teeth. And the little lick he gave her to soothe the sting afterwards was probably the sexiest thing a man's ever done to her.

She could remember that kiss like it happened just seconds ago. The images were as vivid and fresh as daylight and try as she might, Olivia couldn't let herself forget it. They're what kept her up at night, yearning and wishing and if she was being totally honest with herself, she didn't want to forget.

Fitz didn't just kiss her that night.

He ruined her.

He gave her a taste of her favorite drug only to snatch it from her the second she became addicted and now the remainder of that drug was draining in her veins and the cold turkey withdrawal promised to be painful and unbearable. Her skin itched and ached. Her lips burned and tingled. Her clit throbbed and swelled. And her nipples have never been more sensitive. Her whole body was vibrating and crying at the same time. All for one man.

She needed him.

She would give anything... hell everything she has in this world just to feel the heavy weight of his body deepening her further into a mattress, once more. Anything and everything just to feel the warmth of his soft lips all over her skin. Her neck, her collarbone, her nipples, her lips... oh specially her lips and everywhere else he wanted to make contact with.

Olivia Pope was an addict and Fitzgerald Grant was the only drug she needed to feel alive.

"Ughhhh!"

...

Night two, Olivia found herself up at one o'clock in the morning doing something she hasn't truly indulged in doing for quite some time. Standing in front of the pool and looking down at the blue water, she stretched her muscles in a one piece, white bathing suit. Her hair was wrapped in a low bun with a silicone swimming cap on top for safe measures.

As she continued to look into the clear blue water, a smile grew on her lips as a feeling of remembrance washed over her. She forgot what it felt like to stand in front of a pool and have her heart race with anticipation before a match. It always fascinated her how the water was always calm and so blue but yet be larger than life itself at the same time.

She didn't even bother to test the water with her toes for it's temperature. After the last few days she's had, and with her whole body still vibrating with pent up sexual tension, cold water was exactly what she needed. So anticipation be damned, she plunged in a straight line in the middle of the pool and disappeared completely under the surface.

It's a whole different world down in the water. It's almost magic like because everything that was happening before and will be happening after that plunge suddenly didn't matter. All the white noises and problems died down. Not even a whisper of it was audible and so Olivia dived deeper and further, to the very last end of the pool. She could feel the texture of the water gliding over her body; seizing and wrapping her up in a cold embrace and she can almost feel nothing. It was her remedy and she more than welcomed that numbness. Her body felt completely weightless as she continued to dive freely through the water with her numb limbs. An overwhelming feeling of happiness swamped over her because she's in her element and even after all this time, the cells and nerves of her body remembers that feeling just as much as she does.

The water is home. It's always been home and there she felt safe enough to let out all the frustration she's been feeling. The weightlessness of her body allowed her to paddle through and like a fish in the ocean, her arms and legs worked until she could feel nothing but a burning sensation in her lungs and an incredible thrill. She could see nothing but the finish line and hear nothing but the bubbling sound of the water as the muscles of her body glide through the heavy water.

She's home. And it's the best feeling in the world.

At the fifty yard mark, she did a backflip in the water and she's once again reminded how fun swimming used to be in high school. Swimming had always been more than a sport to Olivia when she was in high school. It was the spirit of team orientation, late night showers and the extra practice before a meet. And right now, at this very moment, it's more than swimming again. It may have to do with the fact that water is probably several hundred times denser than air or it may be the numbness of her body but she felt like she was flying in a seamless sea of liquid and the moment is so completely full of promises.

It seemed like hours later when Olivia finally burst from beneath the water and inhaled her first full breath of air. It's both painful and a relief. Goosebumps form all over her body and her heart raced at the speed of a thousand snare drums. Her vision is kind of blurry but it all feels so good. So damn freaking good and for the first time in so long, she felt solace. Her mind is clear and she can think straight again. Tranquility rushed over her and release settled in the place of the unbelievable ache that resided between her legs. It's the closest form of satisfaction and sedation she's felt in quite some time. It's total and utter fulfillment.

But that only lasted for so long.

Because night three, Fitzgerald Grant started starring in her dreams and the next morning, she woke up soaking through her nightgown and gasping for air with her back arched off the bed and a death grip on the sheets. God have mercy!

And if the swelling of her clit and the wetness between her legs was anything to go by, dream Fitzgerald definitely did something to her. And all he needed was a cube of ice and his skillful tongue. And God, had it felt real. So good and so real that Olivia nearly wept when the realization hit her that it was only just a dream. It was such a cruel joke.

Olivia rolled over onto her stomach and buried her face in the silk case of her pillow. "FUCK!" She screamed because damn it, she needed to get laid. She was ready to go several rounds and then some. She was ready to make a sacrifice.

A very cold shower helped her get through a rough day of teaching twenty little rugrats but as soon as she got home, she picked up her laptop and plugged it on the kitchen counter while she rummaged through her full fridge for an afternoon snack. Olivia swore she was losing her mind when she started browsing the internet for her very first vibrating toy.

...

FUCK NIGHT FOUR!

...

On day five, she called Abby during her lunch break while the rugrats were at recess.

"I need retail therapy." She told the redhead.

Olivia could hear the buzzing sound of a tattoo gun in the background and the distant sound of Quinn's voice attending to a customer.

"Let me guess," Abby begin teasingly. "He's a 6'4 tall glass of handsome with gorgeous blue eyes, thick mane of silky chocolate curls, rock hard abs and impressive mack truck arms? Some might even exaggerate and say he could've been a Greek God?"

Laughter roared from Olivia's lips as she hung her head back against her spinning chair. Mack truck arms. Only Abigail Whelan could come up with something so ridiculous.

Once her laughter subsided, the redhead continued on. "I see that I might be right." She said. "What did he do? Don't tell me that Mr. tall and handsome got you all hot and bothered again." She continued teasingly.

"Take me off speaker." Olivia said.

She heard the redhead excuse herself to her customer for a bathroom break. "Take a shot of vodka or something. It'll soothe the pain. I'll be back." Then she must've walked to the back end of the shop because the background noise was all gone. "Yeah, I'm back short stuff. Lay it on me."

"I'm average height, you bitch." Olivia rolled her eyes. It's not her fault that she's only 5'4 and she really hated this stupid nickname. Although she guessed she should feel grateful because she hasn't heard it in a long time.

"He was the leading star in a very erotic dream of mine, last night." She informed, almost bashfully.

"Oooh! You're in trouble, mama."

Olivia sighed. "You're telling me." She mumbled.

"So? I know it wasn't the real thing but you still need to dish." The eager gingerhead said. "How did Mr. Blue Eyes score in dreamland?"

"I got three words for you." Olivia replied.

"Yes..." Abby drawled, nails clicking on her office desk.

"Tie. Ice. Tongue."

"Damn!" Abby exclaimed. "He did do good."

"Yes. Yes, he did. Dream Olivia knows." Liv said. "But listen though, can you come out tonight?"

"I should wrap up around five thirty today." Abby informed. "How about we meet at 6, grab an early dinner at that Caribbean place you like on Columbus Ave and then go blow some of that trust fund money you got on shoes?"

This was quite possibly the best idea Olivia's heard all day. "Have I told you how much I love you, lately?"

"No. Not enough." Abby teased. "But I'm sure one of the three pair of shoes you're gonna buy me tonight will express all the profound love and gratitude you feel for me."

Olivia chuckled. "Fine. I'll go call Cece and you extend the invite to Quinn."

"Alright short stuff." Abby agreed.

...

And then there was night six. Alas, she finally got some sleep.

She had two glasses of wine and a NyQuil pill as soon as she arrived home from her night out with the ladies. Somebody could've lit her apartment on fire and she couldn't have told a soul which way the fire exit was because Olivia Pope was knocked out so cold... it was blissful. It was probably the best night of sleep she's gotten since the last sleepover she had with her Nana.

---

Having taken in all of Cece's, Abby's and Quinn's advice into consideration the night before at dinner, by end's week, Olivia decided that she needed to woman up and face the source of her frustration head on.

Which now brings us to night seven.

In a set of black lace Victoria Secret garments, Olivia Pope stood in her huge closet with hands hanging on her hips, wondering what one wears to meet the person they've spent the better part of a week fantasizing about.

Seriously. What's the appropriate dress code for that? Because so far she's been standing in her closet for the past ten minutes and she hasn't a single clue what to wear. Figuring she had to make a decision at some point, considering she had less than an hour until she has to meet up with Fitz, she narrowed her options to three dresses. She pulled them from the rack and threw them on the bed to help her better decide.

She wanted to look casual. Same as she always looked when she's around Fitz. Same as she always did before things got a bit puzzling between the two of them. She wanted to look casual but not too casual. Then again, she also wanted to look like lightning. She wasn't even sure if there was even a look for lightning but she knew that she wanted to knock Fitz on his ass when he finally sees her after two whole weeks. She wanted him crawling on his knees to her but this wasn't a Latin soap opera and she was quickly reminded that one can't always have what they want.

She decided that she still wanted to go with casual but at the same time still will the power to drop a few jaws. Not too casual. Not too desperate. So she settled for something in between. She settled for something... elegante.

For the next twenty minutes, she focused on getting her hair and makeup done. She went for a soft, romantic look — using light colors from her MAC collection. Her dark curls were up in fishtail updo. And with one last look in the mirror, she smiled feeling satisfied.

Out of the three dresses, she had decided to go with a burgundy long sleeve, loose fitting shift dress that ended just above her knees. And though the fall New York City weather hadn't gotten brutally cold yet, she matched her dress with a killer pair of Steve Madden, black leather thigh high boots with a six inch stiletto that she had fallen in love with from her latest shoe shopping spree with the girls. She accessorized with a long gold bar necklace, a pandora charm bracelet on her right wrist and her Movado watch on her left.

She applied the final touch that completed her look last because you know what they say: save the best for last.

And her best was a healthy coat of matte black cherry lipstick.

She gave herself one last look of approval in the vanity mirror before she moved to her closet to grab her Burberry cashmere coat and designer's handbag.

---

The cab ride to the bar was very unproductive at best. Olivia sat in the back of some stranger's car for close to twenty minutes (evening traffic) looking outside the window and listening to her iPad's playlist on shuffle. She also went over what she was going to say to Fitz when they were face-to-face after two long weeks about a dozen times. But who was counting right?

And that proved to be no help at all because she came to learn quickly over the course of the night that no matter how many times she played their meeting in her head, nothing was going according to plan.

First thing that went wrong: Fitz got there before her. Of course he got there before her.

When he agreed to meet up with her earlier in the day over a very brief, awkward phone call, he had suggested that they do so at Mike's. But Olivia has always been a very sensitive person deep down, (not that she'd care to admit that to anyone since she's worked hard to win a reputation for being stubborn and a tough cookie), she thought it was best that they met on uncharted territory. She figured if she was going to ruin one of the best friendships she's ever had, she'd rather it not be at the place which they had their first meeting. Instead, she had suggested a low-key bar/restaurant that was unknown and unfrequented to the both of them.

When Olivia walked through the doors of the the bar, her eyes did a quick scan of the whole place. Overall, it was a nice little place. Even with a very large crowd to attend to on a Friday night, the mood around felt pretty cozy and comfortable. The decor was less than modern flashy, but very Victorian like. It was nice. She could make do with nice.

Second thing that went wrong: She felt him before she even saw him. Like an intermediate magnetic connection, Olivia's whole body came alive and started vibrating at once — every nerve awakened, every pulse racing. He was seated at the bar, mostly keeping to himself and nursing a pint of whatever dark beer was on tap for the night. With his back to her, Fitz didn't see her yet so that afforded Olivia the luxury of watching him from a distance and by God was he ever a beautiful man!

She found herself staring at him with that deep level of admiration again. Had he always been so breathtakingly gorgeous; so goddamn attractive and she just never picked up on it? Surely that couldn't be it. She's known this; probably since the first night she met him but she's just never allowed herself to see him in the light that he deserved, because for a while, denial was bliss and she loved that bubble. But now, Olivia truly sees him and all she can literally think about is what an idiot she's been this whole time.

Then, as if he could sense her energy in the room from the magnetic pull that seems to be between them, Fitz turned his head and much like their first encounter, their eyes landed exactly on each other and for just one second... one second of pure clarity, nothing and nobody else mattered. They had that understanding between them and so one second turned into a full minute, their gaze on each other never wavering until he stood up from his stool at the bar and begin strolling towards her where she still stood, completely enamored at the entrance of the Victorian style bar/restaurant.

Fitz didn't say anything when he finally reached Olivia. He simply stood before her and let her watch as he drawled his steel blue-gray eyes all over her body from top to bottom and back again as if he was mentally taking a picture and commemorating her every curves to a personal drive in his mind. Then he extended his hands to her and Olivia could do nothing but take it. He tucked her at his side and when his lips touched her forehead in a gentle, silent greeting, tears puddled behind Olivia's eyes. She missed him so damn much.

This is going to be a very long night— Olivia thought.

And indeed, it was.

Third thing that went wrong: He was a perfect gentleman. Of course he was. Many of you may be wondering how that could possibly be wrong and you'd be right to wonder. Even though Olivia expected him to be a completely, perfect gentleman because that was second nature to him, she wanted so badly for him to act like an asshole. Like finally reveal his true self to her and totally surprise her by doing the most assholish thing in the history of asshole universe, because then maybe, all the things she was feeling for him all of the sudden would just vanish like dust into thin air. Him being an asshole would have made her decision so much easier.

But as she's now coming to learn, nothing was ever easy with Fitzgerald Grant. The man was sure a goddamn force to be reckoned with.

So he was a gentleman. From the moment he took her hand in his to the short walk to their private, awaited booth which was secluded from the rest of other tables. First he took her coat and drawled his eyes all over her again, letting her know just how much he appreciated her beauty with a single look in his eyes. And that look burned Olivia all the way down to the last fiber of her bone. In that instant, she had never felt more desired by a man in her whole entire life. Secondly, after he hung her coat, Fitz then made sure she was comfortably seated in her side of the booth before he took his own seat across from her.

When their server came to offer the menu and get them started for the night, he didn't rush her, he didn't treat her like a petulant indecisive child by ordering for her and he didn't make her feel like she was being controlled. He was perfect.

Then the real test came when they had to wait for their order to come and for two full minutes, the most miserable, awkward silence settled between them. Two minutes that felt like a lifetime.

"You look beautiful." He was the first to speak and break the insufferable silence.

And of course, the first words he spoke to her after two whole weeks had to be something incredibly sweet, and totally flattering.

Olivia had the distinctive feeling that he was fucking with her mind. Almost deliberately so and she didn't like it one bit.

"Thank you." She replied, almost bashfully.

Olivia looked at him closely and tried to find something about him to compliment but obviously, even that proved to be a hard task also because she didn't know how to compliment him without basically read a poem to him.

"How've you been?" He then asked, genuinely interested in her well being.

Although Olivia knew that his intentions were not to make her feel like shit, a guilty conscience can never be fully at peace. After avoiding him for two whole weeks like the freaking plague, he still cared about how she was holding up. That, made her feel like the absolute shit of the earth.

Because, who the hell does that?!

Who does that?

"Livvie..." She snapped out of it at the sound of his voice.

He always seemed to use this nickname for her when he felt as though she was lost or escaping from him. And right now, Olivia was lost. She was so lost that she didn't know what to do or how to get out of her own head in order to be present in the here and now with Fitz. All of it was starting to become frustrating to her by the second because they didn't use to be those awkward people who couldn't talk to each other.

Olivia couldn't even look at Fitz then, let alone answer him. But when she finally womaned up and balled up the courage to look into his eyes, he was wearing a frown as he scrambled out of his seat.

"What are you doing?" Olivia asked, staring up at him.

"Scoot over." He simply replied.

She wiggled further into the booth to create enough space for him to seat. When Fitz sat down next to her, he exhaled a deep breath before he grabbed her small hand in his and entwined their fingers together. Olivia couldn't help but stare at their wound up fingers. How they fit so perfectly well together was something of both wonder and amazement to her.

Then he said the most amazing thing to her; "It's just me, Fireball." He playfully bumped their shoulders lightly together and waited for her to meet his eyes.

And that was all it took. Those four little words. Olivia hadn't realized until then how much she really needed to hear him say those words to her. It's just me. Those words, they meant everything to her. Everything. Since she walked through the doors of this restaurant, she's been letting their kiss dictate how this whole night begin and ends. And in doing so, she's managed to create some very unnecessary, awkward tension between them that didn't have to exist.

It's just him.

He was still Ace to her. And she was still his Fireball. As long as that remained true, nothing really had changed.

Though she'd never admit to it out loud, Olivia fell in love with those people the very first night they met. Ace and Fireball. She fell in love with who they are when they became one together at whatever place they found themselves in. She fell in love with their friendship, their complete support of each other and just the joy that they bring out of each other. One stupid kiss couldn't come between that. Albeit a very good one, it was a stupid mistake that happened between two adults in a period of which hormones were running very high. They decided to be a little bit irresponsible and this was the consequence to their carelessness. Olivia was of the belief that if they could just both admit that the kiss was a mistake to each other, nothing had to change. She wouldn't let something as minuscule as a kiss that was and is probably meaningless be the tool of destruction to their friendship. Over her dead body.

Except, it didn't feel meaningless when she looked into Fitz's eyes and she knew they were just bullshitting each other to keep at this charade. But she would do it. She would keep at it if it meant their friendship stayed intact.

"Talk to me, Fireball." Fitz begged. "What is it? What's going on in that brilliant head of yours?" He asked.

Olivia shrugged, swallowing the dryness in her throat with a small sip of lemon water. "Can we leave?" She asked.

She wanted to leave. Maybe it was the whole Victorian decor. Maybe it was being surrounded by those rich ass people with boring ass lives and watching them have even more boring conversations that set her off. But suddenly, Olivia felt like she was suffocating in this place. The feeling felt all too familiar. Like deja vu. Like Edison. And maybe that doesn't make any sense at all, but it's just how she felt.

"I mean what are we doing here, Ace?" Olivia asked, sighing desperately. "We're not these people."

Ace and Fireball didn't eat in places like these. Those two very special people ate at small local diners at one o'clock in the morning and stuffed their faces with yummy Italian dishes at ten o'clock at night without a care in the world. Ace and Fireball took long walk all over New York City with each other while indulging in childhood treats like cotton candy. Ace and Fireball taught each other things; had deep, meaningful conversations about life and sometimes, they talked about nothing at all but every time, they still managed to make it a night to remember. They laughed; joked; told each other everything— no details ever too little or too much and they shared epiphanies. But more importantly, when they were together, they didn't simply exist. Their energy fed off each other and they shined. They lived and took nothing for granted.

That is what Olivia wanted. That is what she has been missing in her life for the past two weeks.

She wanted those people back, (Ace and Fireball), because she likes the person that she is better when she's Fireball.

"I just want us to leave." Olivia was close to having a panic attack. "I want to go to some fattening burger joint and order way entirely too much food so we can find a homeless man to give the rest to. And then we can do whatever we want... get drunk, take a walk, break into your gym and beat the shit out of a punching bag, whatever. But more importantly, I just want us to talk." She paused, tears forming behind her eyes. "Like old times. Without the sac of bullshit that's between us right now."

Fitz didn't have to listen for more. He was sold as soon as she mentioned burger but her little rant was much too great to miss out on so he let her finish and he was glad he did. Once her last words died on her lips, he was up and out of the booth with her hand still in his. Not even bothering to cancel on their meal, he simply slipped a couple twenty dollar bills inside the menu— figuring that his generous tip to their waiter should more than make up for the inconvenience they've probably caused. And just like old times, like partners in crime, they managed to easily slip out of the restaurant.

...

They walked a couple of blocks in silent company. The energy between them charged with awkwardness still but it wasn't as suffocating as back in the restaurant. He still held her hand when they arrived at a cross-walk. And just across the intersection of where they were crossing was a plaza, housing different chains of restaurant. Out of the bunch, they settled for a burger shack.

Luckily, they didn't have to wait long and soon enough, they were sitting at the tables set outside snacking on their appetizers of battered calamari with jalapeno peppers, truffle fries and sipping on delicious fall cocktails. Fitz sat back in his chair and watched for a few minutes, amused as Olivia dipped her French fries into barbecue sauce. He couldn't help shaking his head. She was definitely too cute. He didn't understand how she claims to despise ketchup but able to dip everything into barbecue sauce like it's going out of style.

"Do I have sauce on my chin or something?" All of the sudden, Olivia was acutely aware of Fitz's burning stare and she became almost shy, wiping at her mouth with a napkin.

"No." Fitz shook his head. "I just love to watch you eat."

"Oh, okay." Olivia smiled, still feeling awkward. "So anyways, I wanted to start by saying I'm sorry." She begin.

"Why?" Fitz asked.

"For the past two weeks. We crossed a line together and then like a cliché baby-adult, I did everything to avoid this moment."

Fitz nodded. He could feel his heart already breaking in his chest. She was backing out on him. A part of him expected this but when it comes to her, he somehow always had hope for a better outcome. He was sad to realize that crossing that line perhaps meant nothing to her. It could've all have been hormones talking when she all but begged him to "save" her. God, he felt like such an idiot.

"What are you thinking about?" Olivia asked.

She couldn't read him right now. And that was freaking her out.

"Nothing. I'm good about it if you are." Fitz sighed.

Olivia waited for relief to wash over her. Instead all she felt was disappointment as she bowed her head and reached for her cocktail. Taking a sip, she tried to compose herself. "Yeah. I don't know what I was thinking. My hormones were just all over the place." The words burned her tongue. This was not how tonight was supposed to go. This was all going horribly wrong and the more she spoke, the more she dug the grave for anything that could've been between them. "So water under the bridge?"

"Sure." Nonchalantly, Fitz shrugged. But his heart was shattering again in his chest. He didn't know if he could do this and slowly, he felt himself detaching. Putting more distance between them in order to get through this dinner without falling apart. And then, he didn't know why he spoke the next words that he did. Perhaps it's because he kind of wanted her to hurt the way he was, even if it was for a little bit. He was angry enough. Had tonight gone differently, he never would have told her about it but before he knew it, he was blurting it out. "Probably for the best. I'm dating someone anyways."

Olivia's heart dropped and she almost choked on the lump that formed in her throat all too suddenly. She blinked back the clear-drops behind her eyes and quickly tried to compose herself because the last thing she wanted was for Fitz to pick up on her changing mood. Leaning back into her chair, she looked up into the distance for a few blinking seconds as she dug her sharp nails into the palm of her hands- the pain of it giving her the courage to continue this conversation.

"I'm happy for you." She offered with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

Because that's what good friends do right? They congratulate each other on their new relationships and shove their personal feelings down their throat even when those said feelings threaten to choke them to death? Right?

Fuck!

Olivia wanted to scream and pull her hair off. Since they were being truthful tonight, Olivia wanted to tell Fitz just how mad she was. She was so angry, she could feel her bones vibrating. She wanted to tell him that as soon as those words escaped her mouth- I'm happy for you- God, how much bullshit those words were. She wanted to tell him about the bile that rose in the back of her throat and was currently suffocating her to death.

She wanted to do a lot of things, including reaching across that table and kiss him again just to show him how wrong it was for him to be with anybody else that wasn't her but she didn't. She kept a firm composure on the outside. Everything was fine. But on the inside, she was so distraught and the only reason why she was keeping it so together was because this was all her fault. She almost chuckled at the sheer irony. She kissed him, she avoided him and now she was losing him because she's nothing but a goddamn coward. A loser.

Fitz gave her a nod in return. "Thank you." He replied.

Olivia's jaw worked and she gave a constricted cough in order to clear the huge lump currently residing in her throat. "Is it serious?" She asked.

She wanted to know everything but with every question and every lie entwined with a faux smile, the lump in her throat got bigger and Olivia could feel her heart sinking deeper in her chest.

She watched as Fitz dipped a fry into the barbecue sauce before he brought it to his mouth. He sat back in his chair and took his time chewing. With one hand, he pushed his tumbling curls back from his forehead and took a deep breath. Every second he delayed her an answer, Olivia could feel her very soul expanding into a large ball of agony that will eventually burst and evaporate into black dust. And God that thought was painful.

"I don't know." He finally responded with a shrug. "It's too soon to tell."

His words like a consolation was music to Olivia's ears. A shiver wracked over her body and she almost gasped that relief out loud. God! She really was that much of a loser.

"How did you guys meet?" She clenched her eyes shut as soon as the question left her mouth. She could feel the hundred point decrease that her dignity took like a punch to the gut.

Fitz sighed again. He didn't understand why any of this mattered to her. She didn't get to act like a jealous ex-girlfriend when she was the one who spent two weeks ignoring him but at the same time, it gave him a little bit of hope that maybe, the kiss they shared wasn't as meaningless as she made it seem with her radio silence over the past two weeks. Maybe she felt the same thing he did. That thought soon saddened him because if she felt the same way he did, they wouldn't be having this conversation. She would've told him already and he'd be the happiest man alive right now. Again when it comes to her, he always had hope and unfortunately for him, the thing with having that kind of hope is, it's a son of a bitch.

He took a sip of his harvest moon cocktail before answering her question. "She locked her keys in her car one night with all her stuff inside. To make a long story short: I stopped for her, got the doors unlocked and she offered to buy me a drink. One thing lead to another and you know..."

They slept together.

While she was going insane over him; waking up breathless, in puddles of sweat in the middle of the night because of some steamy sex dream she had about him - he was out there, probably not having a single thought about her because somebody else had already stole him away.

Great. Just fucking... fantastic! She couldn't even blame the woman. It was a common flaw you know? Girls dig the whole knight in shining armor thing and Fitz... well God had certainly blessed him with everything that can make a woman drop her panties without even being asked. Olivia bit down on her lower lip and shook her head back and forth. Why did this have to be such a fucking cliché?

"Nice." She wiggled her eyebrows at him. "What's her name?"

Fitz frowned. "Olivia..."

She'd lost her appetite long ago. Arms crossed over her chest, Olivia gazed up at him for a second. Just the one because that was all she could handle at the moment. "What?"

She knew she didn't have a right to ask. She blew all of this for herself by avoiding him and expecting him to be around when she was ready to woman-up. She forgot that time waits for no one and now she was being the biggest goddamn cliche there ever was.

"You don't get to do that." Fitz shook his head.

"Do what?" Still Olivia smiled as she played coy. "I mean if it's gonna get serious between the two of you at some point, I wanna meet the woman I'm gonna be sharing you with."

Hmmm... anybody else smell that? That right there was the odor of bullshit that was between those two at that very moment.

These two needed a Hail Mary to get through this. If not a huge miracle.

---

At the end of the night, she declined Fitz's offer to drop her home. Olivia didn't think she was strong enough at the current moment to sit through a twenty minutes car ride with him. She was too fragile, too overwhelmed with disappointment in herself to bear his company any longer. She needed the well earned distance she's managed to further drive between them. It was something she never thought she would find as a relief but tonight it was just that because anything was better than the roller coaster of feelings she was going through.

It was no surprise at all that she felt so unlike herself when she finally got home. Olivia felt like somebody had just sucked all the life out of her and she was merely just a shell of a person, void of everything lively inside. She's the idiot who took too long to realize what was in front of her for a long time and in being that person, she ended up losing everything. She was too late. Somebody else got to him before she did. And that... that was a huge punch to the gut.

But the worst part is, she couldn't even be mad about it and she wasn't. She was bittersweet about it. He'd waited for her and she missed the window. Now that he's moved on and seemed to be somewhat happy, it was her turn to wait for him. She was okay with waiting but that didn't mean it's what she would prefer.

"How'd it go?" As soon as she unlocked the door to her apartment, she placed a call to Abby.

After the night she's had, being alone was the last thing that Olivia wanted because she feared that if she stayed alone between those four walls of her apartment, she'd be involuntarily committed to some psychiatric facility the next day and that wasn't really an option for her at the moment.

A long beat of silence settled between the two best friends on the line and Abby got the message loud and clear.

"You wanna get drunk?"

Olivia's face broke into a small smile. A best friend after her own heart. She was very lucky. "Yes, please" She replied. "Can you bring popcorn?"

At that same instant, Olivia could hear the redhead shuffling around her apartment. "You got it, babe." Abby replied. "I'll be there in ten."

"Okay."

So they hung up.

And for the next ten minutes until Abby arrived, Olivia focused on getting rid of her makeup and wrapping her hair up and then getting into something comfortable. Just as she was walking out of her closet, she heard Abby's voice boom in her kitchen followed by the unloading of brown paper bags.

"Hey short stuff!" Abby greeted.

Standing at the doorway of the kitchen, Olivia could only smile tiredly at her best friend in the entire world. Even though she hated this stupid nickname that Abby's conjured up for her since third grade, hearing it at the moment only brought joy to her heart. Leaning off the wall, she walked towards Abby and the redhead welcomed her wholeheartedly in her arms for a comforting hug.

"Thank you." Olivia whispered.

"Hoes over bros, right?" Abby said when they pulled away.

Olivia shook her head at the redhead with a smile. She really got lucky in the friendship area. "Always."

She rose on her tip-toe until she could see inside the brown bags for what she was looking for. When she spotted a large box of her favorite popcorn, she grabbed it eagerly before placing a loud kiss on Abby's cheek.

And for the next ten minutes again, they moved around her kitchen in a deliberate manner. Olivia focused on making their popcorn just right while Abby grabbed big and tall glasses of wine. Soon enough, they were carrying a bottle of Merlot, the two glasses and a huge bowl of popcorn into Olivia's room.

...

They were half of a bowl of popcorn and two glasses of wine down when Abby finally felt it appropriate to ask. "So what happened with tall and handsome?"

Laying on Abby's lap, the television silently streamed the nightly news in the background but Olivia was far from being in the moment. Her mind was hazy and her heart was close to breaking into a million pieces as the images of Fitz's face flooded behind her eyes.

"I was too late, I guess." Olivia replied.

Abby reached for a handful of popcorn. "What did he say?"

"We talked." Olivia said, "We aired it out. I said I was sorry about the kiss; he agreed it shouldn't have happened. I blamed it on PMS; he said water under the bridge. Long story short, I was a freaking coward." She explained. "I went into this meeting with every intention for a better outcome between us. What I didn't really prepare for was the emptiness I would feel when he told me that he'd met someone. By the time I could muster up the courage to tell him how I really feel, it was too late. I couldn't do that to him."

To that, Abby didn't say anything. She couldn't say anything. Normally, she'd have something really, really philosophical and wise to say but not this time. She searched for the correct words of wisdom and she came up empty handed. She knew better than to spit some bullshit like, "fuck him. There are other, better fishes in the ocean", to Olivia at this moment because for one, she really likes Fitz. Even though he is a Republican. And two, this stupid pep talk would work for the likes of Paul and Edison who she wasn't particularly a fan of but she knew this time was different. For both her and Olivia. Fitz was the real deal. This was shitty in every sense of the word and she felt like she was failing at upholding the title of being the best friend with all the solutions.

"How did he seem when he told you about the other woman?" Abby asked.

Olivia thought about it. He was so relaxed, so carefree when he was telling her all about his new fucking girlfriend. "Happy." She told Abby.

Abby scoffed. "Oh bullshit!" She cried.

Olivia shook her head. "That's just it, Abby. It's not bullshit. I know Fitz." She informed her best friend. "You should've seen him when he told me. It's like none of what happened between us meant anything to him. He was so eager to accept my bullshit excuse/ apology or whatever the fuck it really was. But more so, he was excited to tell me about his girlfriend. I know him, Abby. I. Know. Him." She emphasized. "He seemed happy." And that was the bitch of it. All she ever wants is for him to be happy. No matter what that looks like. No matter with who.

"Bullshit." Abby repeated. "Either I'm getting soft around the edges and losing my shit, which is highly unlikely..."

Olivia frowned. "I'm sensing an "or" at the end of that sentence." She said knowingly.

Abby nodded. "... or we both might've underestimated how great of an actor Mr. tall and handsome is." The redhead concluded. "That man is in love with you Olivia and no bimbo out of a hat trick is gonna tell me otherwise. If he seemed happy it's because he got laid and felt good about it."

Olivia wanted to believe Abby. Oh, how she wanted to trust in the redhead's words but the fact of the matter is, they were stuck having this depressing conversation as opposed to her being in Fitz's arms right now in blissful happiness. If he was so in love with her, how come her heart was hurting so much?

Abby could tell the very exact moment that Olivia tossed in the towel, effectively waving her white flag. It left Abby a little puzzled because this isn't the Olivia Pope she knew. Olivia Pope doesn't give up.

"So that's it?" Abby prompted. "You're not gonna do anything?"

Olivia looked up at Abby with a 'what the fuck, dude?' frown. "What can I do about it?" She replied. "I can't just decide that I want him now that he's with someone else."

"Damn fucking right you can." Abby exploded. "I wish Stephen would fuck around and tell me he's suddenly in a "relationship" after kissing the power of Christ into me. I would punch him in the dick."

Laughter roared from Olivia's chest until she could feel the muscles of her stomach aching deliciously. "See, that's because you're crazy."

Abby shrugged shamelessly. "One of us has to be." She replied. "Now what is that woman's name?"

Olivia sat up from Abby's lap and reached for the bottle of wine to pour herself another glass. "Amanda Tanner."

"She sounds so white and familiar?" Abby said. "Was she on Full House in the eighties or some shit?"

Olivia chuckled. "Why are you such a bitch?"

"Haven't you heard?" The redhead replied sarcastically. "I was born this way, baby. Now where is your laptop?"

"In the closet." Olivia replied, pointing at the direction of the huge closet. "Why? What are you gonna do with it?"

Abby stood up on the bed, her head basically touching the ceiling. She hopped on the comfortable mattress, wreaking havoc as popcorn begin to bounce in the air along with her. Olivia grabbed a pillow and hit her with it in the leg until she eventually stopped and jumped off.

The ginger head went out of the room and when she came back, she had another bottle of Merlot in hand with her cellphone. She tossed the phone to Olivia on the bed and placed the bottle of wine on the lamp side table before she made a beeline for the closet to retrieve Olivia's Apple laptop.

Olivia scoot closer to the redhead so she could see the laptop screen as Abby typed in the password. Intrigued, she took a handful of popcorn and waited for the laptop to turn on. "What are we doing?" She asked.

"We," Abby cracked her knuckles with a mischievous smile playing across her bony cheek. "My dear are going to do a little bit of cyber stalking."

"Abigail!" Olivia screeched. "What is wrong with you?!"

"Oh relax." Abby rolled her eyes. "A little cyber stalking has never hurt anybody." She said. "And besides, if you're going to surrender tall and handsome to Crabmanda McTanner, we better make sure that bitch is perfect for him. So we're gonna vet the bitch and make sure there are no skeletons in her closet... so to speak."

Olivia slapped a hand over her face and groaned. "You're so fucking petty!"

"So what? Petty's my middle name." Abby said. "I embrace who I am fully and I won't apologize for that."

Then she took her phone and placed a call to an old friend. She put the phone on speaker so Olivia could hear and when his cold, scruffy voice boomed through, Olivia gasped.

"Is that Huck?" Olivia whispered.

Huck, aka Diego Muñoz, aka the world's best computer hacker. He's an MIT graduate, got himself incarcerated at the age of sixteen for breaking into the government's database and inserting a virus into the CIA's firewall. Released himself within an hour of holding using a remote control just because he could. As a young man, he was a little bit of a daredevil and created himself an entire fake identity to create a bank account because Harrison dared him to and because he felt like he had to prove himself. He once fell in love with an orphan girl named Becky and when she was in danger of becoming homeless, he drained half a million dollar from some billionaire's offshore account into an untraceable account for the girl so she could emancipate herself from the foster system. Even though he's mostly a nerd, he gained a lot of fame and respect at the age of eighteen years old when he created his own network in a dormitory room his freshman year at MIT with three other hackers, making himself part of a multi-billion dollar company. So to sum it up, he's a goddamn genius and don't ever leave him next to anything remotely electronic. Oh, and from time to time, he does shady work for the government.

Abby nodded to Olivia. "Hey nerd!" She shouted.

And so they got the long overdue catching up business over with. It had been way too long since they've gotten into contact.

"So what is it, Red?" From his cold tone, you could never guess that he was a guy with a very good sense of humor. But he was in fact one of the funniest people both Olivia and Abby knew. "I know you missed me and all, but I know you didn't call just to see if I've gotten any richer over the years."

"Oh, fuck you." Abby said. "We need you to do something illegal."

Huck chuckled. "Now we're talking. I've really missed the old days." He said. "What am I hacking into?"

"We just need you to run someone's name for us." Abby replied. "Should be a piece of cake for you."

"You don't say." A few clicking sound later, the girls heard him clear his throat and open what they could guess was a can of unhealthy energy drink. "Ready when you are."

"Okay. Can you make it so we can see everything you're doing on your end on Liv's laptop?"

"Sure thing." Huck replied.

It took him less than three minutes to hack into Olivia's IP address before he had full access of her entire laptop.

"I don't feel safe." Olivia muttered in the background, completely fascinated by how illegal all of this was. "You'd think with all the air tight security I stress on this laptop, it would take you longer than that to hack into the firewall."

"I see that you bought yourself a new toy recently." Huck teased, just to make her miserable. "Any luck reaching a good orgasm?"

"Shut. Up, Huck!"

"It's still way too easy to punch your buttons, Liv." Huck said. "Now come on, let's get this show on the road."

"Amanda Tanner." Abby said.

And with one click of a button, whatever he did on his end, popped on Olivia's laptop.

"Okay." Huck sighed. "We got one Amanda Beatrice Tanner: Texas cowgirl. She is twenty-eight years old, single and serves the great state of New York on a daily basis."

Even though at first Olivia really didn't want to stoop as low as Abby by running a background check on this woman, now that she was learning about her, she couldn't help wanting to know more.

"Has she ever been in trouble with the law?" Olivia asked.

Another click of a button brought up Amanda's record.

"Nope." Huck replied. "She graduated top of her class at the academy in 2010', worked her ass off and has a good reputation on the streets for putting the baddest scum of New York behind bars. She's had one parking ticket when she was nineteen years old but it was waived when she wrote the court system an eighteen page paper on why she didn't deserve that ticket. She made the biggest bust of her career two years ago, working undercover and taking down a multi-million dollar drug cartel that operated across the borders of Tijuana, all the way to Cuba and then, a short few months later, she got a spanking new promotion along with a fat paycheck as a Narcotics Detective."

Olivia's heart sink in her chest. The bitch was nearly damn perfect.

Citizen wise, career wise, and she was kind of good looking.

"What about the people she's been involved with?"

"Hmm..." The clicking sound of Huck working his magic vibrated through the phone's speakers before another page popped on Olivia's laptop. "She's not exactly a serial dater. She's had flings here and there but nothing too serious. She dated Billy Chambers, a defense attorney for some time but that seems to have not worked out for obvious reasons I would say. She makes her living putting the bad guys behind bars and he makes his defending the bold and dangerous. She's basically married to her job. She puts at least an eighty hour shift every week." The hacker said. "Oh, look, the only man in her life as of now is a blue eyed Golden Cocker Retriever."

"What in the entire fuck?" Abby exploded. "She has got to be a spy!"

Olivia was too busy having a quiet meltdown to say anything.

"Any dirty pictures... weird fetish type shit like toe-sucking to put a dent into this seemingly perfect woman?"

"None that I can see of." Huck replied, chuckling. "She's very cautious. She's... kind of really by the book. Perfect, even."

Abby winced at the sad look on Olivia's face. "No shit, genius." She snapped at Huck. "No one's ever really perfect though. There has got to be something." Abby was a lot of things and relentless was definitely top and center of that list. "You're sure she's not a double agent for the CIA or something? I heard those people are pretty good at perfecting identities."

"I'm sure." Huck replied. If anyone would know about CIA assets, it would be him. To appease the redhead's mind, he offered: "I can put a friend of mine on her if you need me to dig deeper."

That finally snapped Olivia out of her reverie. "That won't be necessary." She answered, voice scrappy. "You've done enough. Thanks Huckybear."

Sensing that their illegal operation was about to be over, Huck resigned with a simple, "You know how to find me if you decide otherwise."

And so the call ended.

Then for what seemed to have been hours, the two best friends just sat together on the bed, complete silence enveloping them before Olivia burst out into a fit of hysterical laughter out of nowhere.

That confused the ever loving hell out of Abby. She didn't get why Olivia was laughing one bit so the fact that she didn't know why became funny to her and pair that with Olivia's obviously loud, contagious laughter, it wasn't long before they were both laughing their asses off together for no good reason at all.

"Why are we laughing?" Abby asked.

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know!" She roared, choking on her breath.

Eventually, they managed to stop laughing and silence took it's rightful place between them again.

"That was kind of therapeutic." Abby said, just so because the quiet was starting to become unbearable.

Olivia's lips quivered and she could feel the tears coming with such force, it weakened her limbs. She's never felt so heartbroken before. Never has she ever felt like such a loser. What was there to compete about when she was already marked a loser? She has never been one for a sore loser and she wasn't going to start being one now. But that didn't mean she wasn't allowed to feel a little crushed.

Amanda won fair and square and she was probably more Fitz's type than she'll ever be.

Past her trust fund and rich family background, she was ordinary in every sense of the word. There was nothing about her that made her special. She was raised to be pretty confident about herself by her parents but for some reason, she couldn't help feeling anything other than simple when she compared herself to this other woman. And that pissed Olivia off so much; she wished she could shake the world and split it in half.

Her job was mediocre at best when compared to the rush a Narcotics' Detective probably gets on a daily basis. She wasn't going to compare her physical attribute to that of another woman who was completely different from her racially and ethnic wise because that would be a whole completely different level of humiliation and that's where she drew the line. She doesn't wish to be someone that she's not. She loves the way she looks and no amount of self-pity could ever make her feel otherwise or doubt her natural beauty as a black woman.

So Olivia simply resigned to accepting the fact that Fitz wasn't hers to have in this lifetime. Maybe in some other perfect world, she'd be his and he'd be hers. But for now, she was okay waiting.

"She's perfect." Olivia whispered as she grabbed the almost empty bowl of popcorn from the bed and place it on the night table. She fixed a pillow against the headboard and rolled over on her side of the bed so she could lay comfortably. "No skeletons in her closet. She's squeaky clean and that's good because if I don't get to have him, I want him to have the next best thing."

Olivia expected Abby to look at her as if she had produced a second head for saying those things but instead, when her eyes met the redhead's, Abby was smiling at her with tearful eyes as well.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"How do you do it?" Abby asked, truly serious.

"Do what?"

Abby wasn't sure how to put it. She knew for a fact that if the shoe was on the other foot and what she has with Stephen was in jeapordy because he met some other woman before she got the chance to spill her guts out to him about her real feelings, she'd flip out. She certainly wouldn't be as gracious as Olivia was being. Now that she was thinking about it, she understood why she didn't date at all or even entertain the thought of a relationship. She understood why flings worked best for her because there's nothing emotional about flings. Not even the fucking part has to be emotional if she doesn't want it to be. She learned how to master the art of separating fun and feelings from each other at a very young age. Emotions are strong and once you get lost into them, there is no going back. Once you feel for that someone, it's hard to know if they're good or bad for you and when exactly to walk away. It's one of the main reason why she doesn't mix herself with shit that have the ability to make her feel all warm and fluffy inside. Unless it's an adorable puppy but then that's a different story. So call her stoic, it doesn't bother much because she'd rather be called emotionally closed off than fuck around and fall in love ever again. Emotions make people crazy and she's already crazy enough so that can't be good for anybody.

"How do you be so you?" The redhead asked. "How can you just accept that Fitz is better off with somebody else when you clearly are in love with him too?"

Olivia knew it was pointless to debate that she wasn't in love with Fitz. It took her all of a week to figure that out for herself but regardless of her shitty timing, it was still true. She's in love with Fitzgerald Grant and there was no use in denying it to her best friend who knew her as well as the back of her hand. So Olivia shrugged. "Who am I to fight what's meant to happen and disrupt the order in which the universe wants to bring us together?" She replied. "I'm already his Abby. I already know that. Our time is just not here yet but I've already waited twenty-five years of my life for that man, I can wait just a little bit longer. It's the least I can do."

Amazed, more tears rushed through the redhead's eyes and goosebumps formed on her skin. "You're too good for this world, short stuff." Abby whispered tracing a lone finger over Olivia's eyebrows. "Way too fucking good." She grabbed Olivia's hand and entwined their fingers together. "I wish I was half as brave as you are. I wish I was half as good as you are."

Olivia chuckled. "One of us has to be." She quoted.

The tears rolled down Abby's cheek and she wiped them away quickly and plastered on a smile. "And I'm so fucking glad it's you, babe." She chuckled, kissing Olivia's forehead. She was so proud of Olivia she could weep. Olivia was the little sister she wished she had but sadly never got. "So glad."

---

Two weeks later...

Life went on as usual and things between Olivia and Fitz seemed to be the same from a standing point. If you're on the outside looking in, nothing has changed because Olivia who's an insider in the relationship made sure it looked as such to an outsider's view. But if you truly look, like really, honestly look, everything has changed.

She was still Fireball, he was still Ace.

They still talked about everything but with more reserve.

They still hung out with each other whenever possible but less than usual.

Olivia still loves Fitz and she believes that she always will but she thought that it was better to keep her distance from him for fear that she will do something irrational if given the slightest window to do so.

The changes were hard to accommodate to. Accepting that she needed to step aside and allow Fitz to do whatever he wanted and be with whoever he wanted until he figured it out just like she had was one thing. But watching it happen and getting on board with that decision was a whole other different animal in itself.

It was hard. But she was doing it.

Shopping helped a lot. It offered her an escape for when the jealousy threatened to suffocate her or the loneliness mocked her cowardice at night. Recently, she enlisted the help of her father to buy her first car since she was sixteen. They walked into a dealership in the Hampton one Saturday morning and whipped out a wicked good deal on a premium-automatic 2018 Black Ford Mustang. She found that lately, speed has been her therapy. Whenever she missed him, yearned for him, or simply wished things were different, Olivia grabbed her keys and hopped into her brand new car and let speed wash away those feelings until she felt susceptible to numbness. Her favorite was doing 150 miles an hour on the freeway or blowing through a traffic light at an intersection. She didn't have a death wish neither had she gone kamikaze crazy. She just wanted to feel. She wanted to feel the high or anything resembling even close to how Fitz's kiss made her feel that night. She needed to feel that feeling again in order to make the wait bearable. She needed something... anything to help her go on. Or else, she feared that she'd really go mental.

The latter wasn't an option for her.

Anyways, in the spirit of bullshitting, accepting and being patient, Olivia figured if she was going to continue being a friend to Fitz, she was going to be the best goddamn friend he's ever had. It should be noted that she took that responsibility very seriously because the title of being his best friend was going to be put to a test today.

Today was a Friday, the second week of October. The twelfth to be exact.

Why the heck is that important?

It's very important. It's Fitz's twenty-ninth birthday and Olivia was taking it upon herself to give him the best birthday he's ever had.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She shouted as soon as Fitz picked up his phone.

It was seven o'clock in the morning. Nobody should feel this excited at this hour of the morning but you couldn't tell Olivia that. She was feeling good. After a three mile run, (totally out of character for her but a good stress reliever nonetheless,) a long refreshing shower, a healthy breakfast with a full cup of veggie shake, her compass was rotating with a damn good engine.

She was on her way to work but her mind was on full party planning mode. And no matter what bullshit Fitz gave her as an excuse to not throw him a party, she was still throwing him a party. Hell, she was ready to fight him on his birthday if he refused her this.

"Thanks, Fireball." He replied smilingly. "What's gotten you so happy?"

"I feel like I should be asking you this." Olivia replied. "It's your birthday and you don't even sound like you care."

Fitz poured himself a cup of fresh coffee and walked to his living room where he quickly took residence on his couch. He didn't have to be at work for another two hours because since it was his birthday, as a present Jake had agreed to wake up at the ungodly hour of four o'clock to be on time to open up at five sharp for the gymholics who didn't have the time during the normal hours of the day.

"It's not a big deal, Liv." He told her.

"Are you kidding me?" Olivia asked. "Why is it not a big deal?"

Fitz sighed. He knew she wouldn't get it. Most people like to get festive on their birthday but he wasn't most people. He hasn't really celebrated his birthday since he was ten years old and that was a very long time ago. Every year, his birthday brought him more feelings of loneliness than it brought him happiness. It's not to say that he was ungrateful to be alive or anything. It was exactly the opposite.

Every birthday marked another year that his parents weren't alive. And yeah, time has made it easier to live with that sad fact, but it still didn't change what was and will always remain true for the rest of his life. He has nobody, no family to speak of, nothing. It was just him. So it felt awfully weird to be festive about being alone. Maybe if he had a brother or a sister, any living relative really, his birthday would matter a little bit but he didn't.

So it didn't. He considered his birthday just like any other day of the year. Sadly, the world was still filled with terrible people who do terrible things. Wars still happened, millions were still dying of hunger, as far as he was concerned, there still wasn't a cure for cancer yet. Same old shit. Just a different day.

"It just isn't." He replied.

Olivia could hear the sadness in his voice then and it didn't take very long for her brain to catch up. Her heart broke and she couldn't help but share his sadness.

"Do you not wanna do anything at all?" Because if he really didn't, she would have to respect his wishes about that.

Silence settled between them for a bit before Fitz replied. He knew Olivia asking could only mean that she already had something planned for him and he didn't wanna disappoint her by forbidding everything. "I can't ever refuse you anything, can I?"

The biggest smile flourished Olivia's cheek and she wished he could see it. "Does that mean we can do something?"

Fitz groaned. He was such a goner when it came to her. She had him wrapped pretty tightly around her little finger if he was being totally honest with himself and he wouldn't have it any other way. "We can do something." He agreed. "But just the two of us, okay? I don't want a party." He stressed.

"Yay!" Olivia squealed. "It won't be a party." She already has the whole thing planned in her mind. "But since it's your birthday, you're allowed a plus one."

Olivia still had yet to meet Fitz's little girlfriend. She figured the event of his birthday would be a perfect opportunity for their paths to cross. Olivia needed to look that woman in the eye and let her know that if she hurts Fitzgerald Grant, she would personally see that her life was hell.

"That's very generous of you, little lady." Fitz teased.

"It's the least I could do." Olivia bantered.

Fitz chuckled. "Where are we meeting?" He asked.

"Our place."

Fitz didn't even have to ask because he already knew where their place was.

"It's a date."

Olivia smiled again. "Happy birthday again, Ace."

If they could see each other then, they'd probably be wearing similar smiles.

"Thanks, Fireball."

...

Olivia's next phone call on her way to work was Abby.

She's been planning Fitz's birthday for a week now and when she asked Abby if she could volunteer her delicious baking skills, the redhead was more than happy to jump on the offer to make Fitz's birthday cake, which in return was saving her some money.

"Why are you calling me at seven o'clock in the morning, Olivia?" Abby answered after the second ring.

It should be noted that the redhead wasn't a morning person. Especially before coffee because she seriously believed that mornings were for contemplating suicide if one wasn't happy with their life.

"You're so touchy pre-coffee." Olivia said. "Are you still making Fitz's cake?"

The redhead groaned. "Yes, I'm still making your boyfriend's cake."

"And you're still gonna show up to Mike's?"

Another groan of irritation followed by, "YES! Oh my god, GO AWAY!"

Notice how Olivia still didn't object to the boyfriend comment? It's probably because Abby's been telling every guy that Olivia meets that she's taken by Fitz for the last two weeks. At first Olivia was truly annoyed because she's been trying to get laid and move on but after a few days, she gave up eventually because for one she appreciated the redhead's full support of Fitz and secondly, it was kind of flattering to say the least and there was no use in being frustrated because Abby would continue to link her as Fitz's girlfriend regardless of what she has to say about it. It was just as well.

"WAIT!" Abby shouted. "Any idea on what the hubby might like?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. Now she's promoted him to husband status. Just... ignore.

"Fitz is pretty simple. Anything will do."

"Cause that fucking helps." Abby muttered. "Fine. Now go away."

"Love you too, Abigail."

"Screw you."

Olivia hung up with a laugh.

---

At one o'clock, Fitz was officially four hours into his day shift when he got his first birthday present. He was over at the weights section completing an hour session with a client whose aspiration is to become a body builder when the delivery came. He shook his head because he knew exactly who would be crazy enough to exaggerate so much on his birthday.

This year he was surprised that not even one of his colleagues nagged him about doing anything. It must be because by now, they were used to him turning down their offer to celebrate his life because today when he got to work, they all simply bid him 'happy birthday' and went about doing their jobs.

"Can you sign here please?" The delivery man asked.

"Thanks man." Fitz took the electronic tablet from the delivery guy's hand and quickly scribbled his signature with the digital pen.

"Have a good day, sir."

"You too man."

They made the exchange of objects. Tablet for present.

With curiosity, Fitz walked towards his office as he wondered what he'd gotten. He knew it promised to be something delicious because his first gift came in the form of a pastry box with an envelope.

He opened the envelop first and his heart swelled, nearly close to bursting when he saw who it was from. He was wrong. It wasn't from Olivia. It was from her mother and she wrote him the sweetest card.

When he opened the white box of pastries, he was met with a dozen of the most scrumptious looking birthday cupcakes.

How? He wondered. He didn't remember broaching the subject of his birthday when he visited Olivia's parents over the summer but somehow, Maya-amazing knew. Then it quickly dawned on him. Olivia must've told her. Of course she did.

Fitz left his office with a smile. Lunch time was nearing soon and he was gonna make it a point to share his treats with his co-workers. He also made a note to send Mama Pope an email or better yet, give her a phone call at some point during his day so he could tell her just how much he appreciated her kind gesture.

---

As soon as Olivia was relieved of her teaching duties in the late afternoon, she didn't even have the time to get home and take a break. She threw herself fully into getting everything ready for Fitz's small gathering. Hiring a catering company was high on her list and with that done, the rest of the things were pretty easy to complete. On top of generously volunteering her lunch hour to come put up the decoration at Mike's, Quinn had also taken all of Abby's clients at the parlor so the redhead could work on Fitz's cake. If Olivia hadn't liked Quinn before then, now she definitely did and she was forever indebted to the brunette.

Invitations to Fitz's small group of friends/colleagues were sent out via email or text messages and she made them swear to secrecy about the whole thing. She promised Fitz she wouldn't throw him a party, and technically she wasn't. She was considering this more as a little social get together. Plus if he got mad at her after it, she's pretty sure that as soon as he tastes the cake Abby baked him, all will be forgiven.

By the time six o'clock whistled by, everything was right on schedule and with her mind finally at ease, Olivia decided to head home for a quick shower and get ready for the party.

---

It had been a great day for Fitz.

Today was the first time in years that he didn't spend his birthday getting shitfaced alone at some less than successful bar while thinking about the many different ways his life could've gone had his parents still been alive. Today, instead of being pissed at the world, he actually embraced who he had become and how far he had to travel to have a better life than the one he grew up with.

He was just on his way home from a long day's shift at the gym when a thought occurred to him. Though he had no idea what became of his parent's ashes after their fatal car accident, he thought it was a good idea to light up a candle in their honor. He's never been very religious or spiritual but it seemed like a good idea. He wanted to let his parents know that after all these years, he was finally fine. Even if it took him some time. He was finally fine.

He made the brief stop to a K-mart and instead of buying a candle, he brought a bag of balloons because suddenly something more creative popped in his mind. He was in and out of the store in five minutes. Instead of going home, his next stop was to one of his favorite places in New York. The rooftop of an abandoned parking lot across the Brooklyn Bridge.

He chuckled at how the most pivotal moments of his life always had to happen at some goddamn rooftop. The irony was totally not lost on him as he blew air into three balloons and tied a string to them. Now seated in the back of his truck, he looked forward into the darkness of the night with a feeling of nostalgia rushing over him. He could hardly remember what his parents looked like because he was still very young when they passed and in order to survive while growing up, he had to forget a lot and reinvent himself as a whole but sometimes, if he closed his eyes long enough, the smallest things would come back to him. His mother was half Cherokee and half Irish so sometimes, it would be the color of her bronze skin or his mother's long dark hair and her beautiful blue eyes. On rare occasions, it'll be the smell of her scrumptious sugar baked cookies. Other times it's the memories he's made with his father. Ten short years of them but sometimes he could remember them very vividly. And right now, at this very moment, he could remember playing field hockey or throwing a football or baseball with his dad in their backyard. He could also remember that his father never really said "I love you" to him like his mother always used to. Instead, he used to rub his forehead against his and smile at him. "I got you, buddy." It was always that whenever he was sick, or sad, or scared or hurt. "I got you, buddy." And more often than not, those four simple little words always made him feel better as a little boy more than any number of "I love yous" his father could've ever said to him.

A lump clogged in Fitz's throat and his whole body shook with a frisson-like feeling. In that exact moment, Fitz also felt something inside of him melt and God it hurt so good but at the same time it felt so freeing. It wasn't until the tears escaped him and the balloons flew into the dark night that Fitz realized what was happening to him. He grieved but even after all these years, he never really got the chance to say his goodbyes properly. The realization floored him and even as he sat in the back of his truck weeping like a child, he had a smile on his face. This was the strangest, most bittersweet thing that's ever happened to him and it felt so good. Fitz didn't believe in God or Heaven but when he closed his eyes for one second, he swore he could smell freshly baked sugar cookies on top of that secluded roof. He took that as a sign.

Shaking his head, Fitz smiled. "I'm okay, mom." He said. "I'm finally okay. I miss you and will always love you."

And with this new sense of freedom and happiness that he suddenly felt, he hopped out of the back of his truck with keys in hands. He had a party to get to.

---

When Fitz got home, he was in a hustle. He was running late to his own damn party and the three text messages that he just received from Olivia mere seconds ago was indication that he was in trouble. He was just at his door with keys in hand when he heard his fifteen year old neighbor from next door call for him.

"Hey, Teddy." Fitz greeted hurriedly. "What's up buddy?"

"You got a delivery here today." Teddy said as he marched down the steps of his house to go to Fitz's. "You weren't there so I signed for it. I hope that was okay. The mailman was about to leave it on the steps."

"Oh." Fitz frowned when Teddy handed him a black velvet box with a bow wrapped on top of it. "Thanks, buddy." He pulled out his wallet and handed the kid a crisp fifty dollar bill. "For skating and pizza or whatever you cool kids are into these days." He winked.

Teddy smiled. "You're the best Mr. Grant!" The boy said before bidding Fitz a goodnight.

…

As soon as the door closed behind him, Fitz put himself on a thirty minute clock. While he rid himself of his work clothes, he also tried to open his gift. He came to a stop in his kitchen when he finally managed to unwrap the bow and lift up the black box. There was a small female handwritten note on the inside roof of the box.

They say that twenty nine is supposed to be a good one. I hope is it for you. Happy Birthday.
-A

Fitz stared down at the box, unsure of what to feel. A watch stared back at him. It was a damn beautiful watch and normally he'd be in awe of a gift such as a steel gold Dolce & Gabbana watch but for some reason, he couldn't help but feel like it was more of a pity gift than it was an actual birthday gift. So with his feelings still unsure, he placed the box on top of the counter and continued with his previous task.

He was still on a clock.

He spared fifteen minutes on a well needed shower and five minutes to shave which left him with a window of exactly ten minutes. Unlike women who needed hours to come up with the perfect attire, finding an outfit to wear wasn't this big crisis for Fitz. He walked into his closet and picked out a two piece form fitting navy suit, paring it with a crisp white shirt and dark brown leather oxford shoes. He forgoed a tie, instead going for a dangerously sexy look by leaving a few buttons in his shirt open. A black cashmere trench coat completed his whole look. With three more minutes left to spare, he combed his fingers through his curly hair and sprayed a generous amount of his manly, intoxicating cologne on himself.

Light off, keys in hand and wallet in his pocket, Fitz was out of the house in exactly thirty minutes. And just as he hopped back in his truck, his cellphone went off with an incoming call.

"I know. I'm running late and I'm so sorry babe! I promise I'm on my way, Livvie!"

---

"Okay guys, get ready! He's pulling up." Olivia announced.

She grabbed her coat and threw it over her shoulders to go meet Fitz outside. Everyone was standing in the middle of the room in semi-darkness, waiting for the birthday boy to come through the door.

He was getting out of his car when Olivia opened the door. Her face instantly lit up when she saw him and Olivia didn't think it was something she would ever be able to contain. And it also didn't help that he looked sexy as all sin. His sense of fashion and the way he carried himself with so much swagger and confidence was such a huge turn on to Olivia. It was taking everything she had not to jump on him and kiss him breathless as soon as she saw him.

"I thought I was being stood up for a second." She teased him.

He walked towards her with a smirk. When he was standing before her - his tall frame towering over hers, he cupped her face in his big, gentle hands and kissed her forehead. Just when Olivia was about to melt right before him, he surprised her and picked her up, spinning her around. She squealed and laughed - feeling so at home and for a second, she forgot she was supposed to be selfless. She forgot that he had a girlfriend and she was trying her hardest to be accepting of that. But his supposed "girlfriend" was not present, was she? On one of the most special days of his life, she couldn't take a break from catching the bad guys to celebrate him? That was bullshit.

Her jacket fell of course because of all the spinning around but Olivia couldn't feel anything but warmth while wrapped up in his arms even though the fall temperature was the opposite of warm. He gave her cheek a kiss and then looked into her eyes. "I could never stand up such a pretty girl." Fitz said.

I could just do it - Olivia thought. Be selfish. It would be so easy, so simple to just dip her head an inch and capture his lips with hers. Olivia bet it would feel amazing. She would be able to breathe again if she just does it but once again, she was at war with herself. Right or wrong? Choosing between what's safe or what could be breathtaking, devastating, and life changing. What to do?

So instead, she just brought a hand to his face and mapped the lines of his strong jaw and handsome face. He'd shaved but she could still feel a hint of stubble beneath her finger. She made it seem like it was an accident when she brushed her thumb over his beautiful pink lips. Her heart went into overdrive because she could've sworn he kissed the finger. Or maybe it was just her very fascinating imagination. Nonetheless, her thumb tingled and her lips wept of jealousy.

"We should go inside." It was barely audible. But of course, how could she even form words when he was looking at her like this? Holding her like this?

"Hmm..." Was Fitz's simple reply.

"Girlfriend couldn't make it?" And just like that, the intimate moment they were having ran its course. It was deliberate. It was the only way Olivia knew how to remind herself that he wasn't hers to have, hers to kiss, certainly NOT hers to want. Serious or not- he had a girlfriend! He was unavailable to her. And she was not that girl!

Fitz set her back on her feet and Olivia put a foot's distance between them. She stared at her jacket laying lifelessly on the ground and before she could bend to pick it up, Fitz beat her to it, throwing it back over her shoulders.

As if he knew exactly her game, Fitz looked into her eyes intently before he replied, "No. She got tied up with something at work."

Olivia gave a curt nod. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Fitz shrugged and gave her a lopsided smirk. "I'm not." He said. "I already got my best girl right here. That's all a man can really hope for on his birthday." He offered her his arm afterwards as if he hadn't just awaken her heart and set it free. "Andiamo bellissima?"

Face flushed, Olivia simply looped her arm through his and started towards the bar with him. "We shall." She replied.

...

Fitz knew Olivia well. He could honestly attest to that after months of studying her and getting acquainted with the person that she is. So he knew she threw him a birthday party even though he told her nothing too extravagant. He really wanted it to be just the two of them tonight but nothing prepared him for the rush of emotions that almost knocked the breath out of him when he walked into Mike's bar and was greeted with a raucous of "SURPRISE!"

His hands flew to his chest in real surprise and his heart rate went into overdrive. He couldn't believe what she had done. Everything was just so nice and she had taken the liberty to invite people he cared about. People like Stephen and Fitz couldn't believe that the son of a bitch hadn't clued him in on any of it all day long. They sung a melodious "Happy Birthday" to him as he continued to walk into his favorite bar. A flute of bubbly champagne was offered to him by someone and he took it with gratitude.

Once the singing died down, he felt compelled to give a toast; bringing Olivia at his side once again and thanking her publicly in front of all their friends for being the best person he knew. He thanked everyone for coming out to celebrate with him and for the first time in... in almost two decades, Fitzgerald didn't feel alone in the world on his most special day.

He cut the cake, throwing formalities into the wind even though dinner hadn't been served yet. Of course, it wouldn't be a birthday if he didn't get a handful of cake smudged on his face, courtesy of Stephen Finch, the asshole. But it was all in the name of love. He got actual presents, for which Fitz was entirely too appreciative of. A custom made birthday card that read "Holy Shit! You're Old" courtesy of Abigail Whelan went around, which everyone signed and put money in. Fitz was truly touched.

The rest of the night flowed so well. Music was a great companion among the friends. Alcohol and delicious catered food was of great abundance and the laughter was a constant. Fitz felt like the luckiest man on the planet and he owed it all to one amazing woman. She made this night possible for him and he couldn't help but worship her more. How lucky he was to have met Olivia Pope.

...

"Yo Mike!" Fitz whistled over the loud blasting music to get the bartender's attention. And when he did, he motioned his eyes through the corridor of the men's bathroom.

Having gotten the signal, Mike moved from behind the bar and met his friend near the bathroom hallway.

"Happy Birthday brother." He wished Fitz once more.

Fitz accepted the man's handshake with a nod and a genuine smile. "Thank you." He replied. "Thanks for letting us have this thing here man. I really appreciate it." He said truly.

"Oh, none of this is me." Mike informed. "Your lady really came through for you on this one. This was all her." Mike said, pointing into the direction of Olivia.

"Yeah?" Fitz questioned smilingly.

Mike nodded with affirmation. "Shit, if I had known the kind of woman that she truly was that first night she walked in here, I would've fought your ass for her." The bartender confessed. "She's a damn good woman. The kind of woman once you get her, you better hold tight onto and never let go."

Don't I fucking know it. Fitz thought.

"What makes you say that?" He asked curiously.

"How many women do you know would rent out a whole damn bar just so she can throw you a party?" Mike answered.

Fitz's eyes widened. He wasn't privy to any of this. "She did what?!" He exclaimed.

"You didn't know?" Mike laughed. "It's a Friday night. Why do you think there aren't any customers here right now?"

Fitz shrugged. "That's what I was wondering." He replied.

"Well, two weeks ago, your lady came in here and asked to speak to me privately." Mike begin. "Scared me half to death. I thought something happened to you but she quickly put my mind at ease and then she asked me how much I usually make on my busiest night. I didn't know why she was asking but I like her so I told her anyway. And then, she offered to pay me double that money if I would close around 7:30 and rent her the space for the rest of the night." Of course, Mike was more than happy to do so as a favor, even without the promise of double payment.

Fitz was completely floored. Two weeks ago, they were barely on good terms and yet she was still thinking about him even then. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her! He felt like shouting it out loud to anybody who would listen. She did this all for him and Fitz doesn't think she has any idea how much he appreciates all of it. Nobody's ever done something so selfless for him before. Something so grand yet sweet at the same time. I love her!

"Damn." He mumbled.

"Exactly what I said." Mike told him. "You got a hell of a woman out there." Then he pat Fitz on his shoulder and left the man to his thoughts.

After a full minute alone, Fitz had managed to collect himself together before joining the party again. Instantly, his eyes searched for Olivia and he found her with her group of girlfriends dancing on the dance floor. He could hear her laughter and he couldn't help but think that it was the most heavenly sound he's ever heard.

Before he knew it, he was stalking towards her. He reached her just in time for her to fall in his arms in a twirl.

"Someone's had a bit to drink." He teased.

"Sì, sì, sì signore. Just a bit though." She agreed with him, chuckling.

Abby watched this interaction with Quinn on the sidelines. The way they were looking at each other was making her feel funny shit and remember that Abigail Whelan doesn't associate with emotions that evoked fluffy, butterfly feeling stuff. She wanted to scream at the both of them to get their shit together. Hell, she wanted to lock them in a room together and only let them out when they decided to stop playing these stupid games and be together already.

"Can I steal her for a second, ladies?" Fitz finally asked.

Abby rolled her eyes, dismissing both of them with a flick of her wrist. "Please do." She said. "You guys are nauseating enough."

Fitz smiled. He surprised the hell out of Abby when he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to the redhead's cheek. After all, she did make him the most delicious chocolate cake he's ever tasted. "You don't fool me one bit, Abigail Whelan. I know somewhere in there you have a heart of gold." He winked. "And thank you for this kickass party. The cake was absolutely delightful. Best damn cake I've ever tasted."

He left and Abby found herself too stunned to speak anything other than those three words: "I'll be damned."

She really liked the man. And not just because he was ridiculously charming and good looking. She liked him because he was a genuine person.

"Let's go do shots." Quinn said, snapping the redhead out of her stunned haze.

"Yeah," Abby nodded. "Good idea."

And so the two ladies marched to the bar to continue on further getting drunk.

...

Abby was three shots of tequila in and an extreme rush of adrenaline was currently pumping into her veins when she felt Stephen's big arms wrap around her waist and his succulent lips kiss the nape of her neck.

"Took you long enough." She chastised.

They'd been playing the cat and mouse game for the better part of an hour and it seems like he was finally ready to stop the chase and retrieve his prize.

"You know how hard it is for me to resist you." Stephen whispered in the crook of her neck. "What's up, mama?"

It was now Quinn's turn to direct a disgusted look at the couple. "Get a fucking room, you kinky bastards!" She screeched through her teeth before she stumped away.

Abby chuckled. "You happen to have a friend who's into hippie chicks?" She turned her head back to ask Stephen.

But of course, Stephen couldn't resist leaning in to steal a kiss from the redhead's lips. Abby giggled against his mouth and he started tickling her sides.

ALERT: Fluffy shit! Fluffy shit! Fluffy shit! RUN BITCH! RUN!

Abby broke away with a racing pulse and Stephen must've sensed the exact moment she begin to close herself off because his arms around her tightened before he smooched a kiss to her freckled nose. She didn't fool him either. Stephen understood the person Abigail Whelan was and in spite of it all, he wanted her still. She was amazing and he didn't think she knew that about herself yet. But Stephen was a very patient man and more than willing to teach her. To let herself love and be loved in return. They'd get there eventually. He was certain of it.

"I don't think your friend's into dick." He told her.

Abby frowned. "What gave you such an absurd idea?" She asked.

Stephen shrugged. "Sixth gaydar sense." He answered. "She could be bisexual, I may be wrong. But your friend looks like she'd know her way more around a vagina than she'd know what to do with a hard dick."

"Well shit." Abby blinked stunningly.

Now that Abby was thinking about it, it kind of made sense. And when she thought back at Quinn's first day at the parlor, it made even more sense. The day Quinn walked into her tattoo parlor, it was her shameless flirting with a client of hers that made Abby offer her a job. That and her incredible eye for detail. Abby had chalked her flirtation with one of her clients to good people skill but now that she was thinking about it, Quinn was totally digging Avery's not-so-innocent flirting. It was probably the only time she could recall the young artist seeming even remotely interested in somebody.

That gave Abby the greatest idea right then because she was a firm believer of the "no man left behind" policy. Well in this instance, no woman left behind. Olivia has Fitz, Cece has Harrison, and she was getting some of the best dick of her life from Stephen so it was only fair Quinn got something also if she was going to be part of her circle. So come Monday morning, she was going to add a new title to her resume. Matchmaker. And she had a feeling that she was going to enjoy it. Avery was a talented tattoo artist herself. She did in-house calls on the side with very limited tool and just then, Abby had the most brilliant idea. Perhaps it was time The Skin Canvas Tattoo Parlor got its third crew member. After all, business was booming for Abby at the moment. She could most certainly use another talented hand at the parlor to make her life less stressful and a lot easier. First thing in the morning on Monday, she was going to call Avery to offer her a job at the parlor and stir shit up.

Stephen ordered another beer and when it was delivered to him, he pulled back a stool and patted his lap for Abby to join him on it.

"Is your friend gonna behave?" Abby teased.

Stephen smirked as he brought his bottle to his lips for a long swig. "I can't make any promises. It's been a long time since anything sat on him." He replied.

"What do you mean it's been a long time?" Abby chuckled. "I fucked you this morning in the shower."

"Exactly." Stephen said. "Way too long."

"That's my line." Abby said before he pulled her on his lap and bit her neck. "Behave." The redhead moaned.

Then she turned her eyes to the dance floor and let's say the redhead was not surprised when she saw her best friend and Mr. tall and handsome in a corner at the bar looking rather cozy with each other. She almost envied them. Some days, Abby really wished she could feel things that normal people felt without feeling like she will lose a big part of herself. Things like carefree love.

She was good at giving. It was the receiving part that was rather hard for her.

As if he had been thinking exactly what she was, Stephen asked, "How long do you think before they get out of their own way?"

"Olivia already has." Abby replied knowingly. "It's up to Fitz now."

"How long do you think before they make a move?"

Already have. Abby knew that from what Olivia's told her but it wasn't her place to tell that to Stephen. Some things were better left between two best friends. So the redhead shrugged.

"With the way things are looking right now, I say tonight." Stephen said.

Abby titled her head back to look into his beautiful brown eyes. "You think so?"

"Yeah. She threw him a freaking awesome surprise birthday party and now they're standing there looking at each other like "heart eyes, motherfucker", so I say there's a pretty good chance they seal the deal tonight." Stephen said. "I believe in those two people over there. They have something that's too strong between them; too inevitable and I just know that it's gonna happen. I'll even wager you twenty dollars on it." Stephen bet.

Not for the first time this night, Abby found herself washed up with a sense of jealousy and melancholy. She wished she could be so sure of things like Stephen was when it came to the matter of the heart. She had certainty in all other aspects of her life. Her work required her to be certain of her skills, her brain required her to be absolutely certain when making decisions but when it came to her heart... she had nothing to give. She trusted once before wholeheartedly and got burned. That one time was once too many for her and she'd learned her lesson; never to trust men. Maybe some of it fell on her also. She grew up without a father to teach her about the kind of men she should aim for. Her mother, God bless her, she tried her hardest as a single mother but there's only so much she could have done and Abby doesn't blame Deborah for her past failures one bit. It's just the way things were. It's just the way she was wired now. She's been able to be naked with men, offer her body to them for her own pleasure and theirs too and that's about as far as she's been willing to take it. She stopped caring who saw her naked physically, however naked and raw, emotionally, to be seen vulnerable, that's where she drew the line. That's where the lanes veered into separate routes. But with Stephen, things were different; changing and that scared the crap out of her because when looking into his eyes, Abby sees him for who he really is. He's one of the great guys and Abby knew what she felt for him deep in the pit of her heart. She knew. She just wished she was certain.

The redhead erased the sad look in her blue eyes with a blink and flashed Stephen her very best smile. "You're on." Abby accepted.

"Seriously?"

Abby nodded and to prove it, they shared spit on it. "Deal." She said when they pulled away from a rather delicious and steamy kiss.

"I give it a week before they fuck." Stephen continued.

Abby chuckled with a shake of her head. She wasn't sure what it made her that she was betting on her best friend's sex life but it was a fun game and she liked it.

"What?" Stephen asked. "You think less than that?" When Abby neither agreed nor denied, Stephen's mouth went gaping. "Damn! Liv get down like that?"

Abby shook her head at him again. "You think you're slick, don't you?" She poked his forehead. "Olivia's different. She's not me." Full script of that was: Olivia's different. She's not me who fucked you the first night we met.

And Abby was pretty certain of that. In all the years that she's known Olivia, she doesn't think the girl's ever went blind into anything. She was the prudent one of the two of them which is why she was also the damn near perfect one and no, Abby wasn't jealous of that. She loved that.

"How long do you say?" Stephen asked, dipping his head to place a kiss on the redhead's naked collarbone.

Abby normally wouldn't use the word traditional to describe Olivia. If there's one thing she knew for sure, it's that Olivia was anything but traditional but she was a good girl deep under the surface of what she might portray. Abby knew that Olivia wouldn't jump into bed with Fitz after about just a week of them being official. She'll want to be sure even if her vagina caught fire from all the pent up sexual tension because Fitz meant too much to her and if she isn't sure that they can make it work as a couple in the long run, she'll never risk ruining them over sex. No matter how good she anticipates it will be. That's exactly what made her too good for this world. Olivia doesn't care about much but when it came to the people in her personal life, she's fiercely loyal and protective. She values her relationships a lot and she'd never risk a good friendship unless she was very sure that the outcome promised great success.

"A month." Abby answered.

"That's some willpower." Stephen joked. "You ready to bet on it?"

"Depends on the offer on the table." Abby replied.

"If you're right, it's lady's choice. If I'm right, you owe me a date." Stephen said.

"A date?" Abby raised her eyebrows.

"A date." Stephen nodded. "You know, one where we both dress up real nice for each other; go to a restaurant, and have some delicious food and even yummier conversation. Then at the end of it, you don't fight me over the check. You let me do my manly duty and let me handle it. And at the end of the night, if I'm lucky and all went well, you'll pucker up and let me kiss those sweet lips of yours. And then later on, we'll both lie awake in bed thinking about how we can't wait to do it all over again."

Abby wasn't sure which part had her sold but somehow, she had managed to convince herself that the only reason she was even considering this bet was because she knew Olivia well enough and homegirl will hold her fort and not give away her sugar until Fitz has taken her to at least six dates. But if she was being truthful with herself, it's truly Stephen's description of their first date that had her agreeing. And the fact that it's been so long since she's been on a date that she can hardly remember how they usually go. But it's needless to say that she was definitely interested. "You got a deal, baby."

---

Across the room, Olivia was held delicately in Fitz's arms as they gently swayed to the music playing through the overhead speakers.

"How does it feel to be twenty-nine?" Olivia asked, looking up dreamily into his cornflower blue eyes.

Fitz smiled with a twinkle. "No different than twenty-eight really." He replied.

"Are you sure?" Olivia frowned, mischief written all over her face as she poked his rib. "No joint pain, bad back?"

Fitz gasped, grabbing her fingers so she couldn't poke him anymore. "Are you calling me old, Olivia Carolyn?" He said. "You know it's my birthday. You shouldn't be so mean to me."

"I'm not being mean." Olivia giggled. "I think I see a little bit of salt and pepper going on." She continued to further tease him as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Oh my God, I do not have grey hairs! You're so mean." Fitz laughed, his eyes glowing with the evidence of all the love he felt for that tiny little woman in his arms.

"I for one think it would be super sexy if you did." Olivia admitted, licking her lips. "You'd make one hell of a sexy silver fox."

"And you're an incredible woman, Olivia Pope." Forgotten was everything and everyone surrounding them. The sound of the music faded away with their worries as Fitz brought both of his hands up to frame Olivia's face. "Thank you for tonight, for coming into my life when you did, for being the best human being I know."

With his each of his declaration, Olivia could feel herself falling more for him. Overwhelmed with all the feelings threatening to burst out of her in waves, she decided "fuck it all to hell." She didn't care about the girlfriend that wasn't here, didn't care that he was unavailable. She decided to fight. Fight for what could be if she would be just a little bit selfish.

"Leave her." She pleaded with a sigh. "I know it took me far too long to realize it but in the short time we've known each other, you've invaded every part of me and seized my heart. And I'm just all yours Fitz. Always have been. So I'm leaping and asking you to catch me baby. Choose me and I promise to be forever." Her eyes were glassy with tears as Olivia waited with bated breath for a response.

And then she just could not wait any longer...

Before Fitz could even get the chance to react, Olivia was rising up on the tip of her toes and pressing her lips aggressively against his. It took Fitz a few seconds to realize what was happening but as soon as the feeling of her familiar lips registered to him, he was kissing her back with just as much fervor. He snaked an arm around her petite waist, pressing her entire body to his as he continued his assault on her luscious lips. As their tongues tangled in a familiar dance Olivia couldn't suppress the moans of pure relief and contentment leaving her mouth. How could kissing this man feel so good? She couldn't think and she didn't want to. She just wanted to stay in this moment, like this, with his lips against hers, making her feel this at bliss forever.

Too soon, their need for air had them pooling away from each other. Fitz nuzzled his nose against her cheek, breathing her in. He could the beating of her heart synchronizing with his and the taste of her lips against his tongue was all Fitz needed to make up his mind. He grazed his index finger against her soft cheek and silently pleaded with her to look at him. When she did, he placed another kiss on her lips - soft, sweet, and lingering - as if it was goodbye yet still filled with anticipation, leaving Olivia confused and heartbroken as ever.

"I can't do this right now." Fitz whispered. "I gotta go." And with one last kiss to her forehead, he was gone, leaving Olivia to wonder if it was all a dream as a lone tear rolled down her face.

...

After a few minutes of standing still and feeling lost and confused, Olivia felt long arms wrapping around her neck. She blinked and more tears rolled down her cheek. Upon realizing that this is real and she's standing in a bar with tears in her eyes, she burst into a loud sub in her best friend's arms.

"What the fuck just happened?" Abby asked, stroking her back in a comforting motion while matching her friend's equally confused look.

---

Three days later...

Olivia had just hung up on the phone with Cece and was getting ready to call it a night when she heard a knock on her door. Looking at her phone screen, she saw it was just a few minutes short of 11:30 PM, which made her wonder who could possibly be knocking on her door so late since she wasn't expecting any company. She stood up from the couch and looked at her outfit. She hadn't been expecting company so late, hence why she was lazing around her apartment in a grey, long sleeve, up-all-night romper with long, fluffy leg warmer socks. She was contemplating whether or not she should go put on a robe over her clothes when the knock sounded again. This time louder and more persistent.

When she walked to the door and looked through the peephole, surprise didn't even begin to describe what she was feeling. It was Fitz. She was both surprised and confused - a feeling she was beginning to associate with all things him. He was the last person she was expecting to see and she was wondering why he was at her door at eleven o'clock at night. After everything that went down at his party — you know, when she poured her heart out to him in a single kiss and he walked away without much explanation? Yeah, after that whole disaster that left her a wreck for the past three days, he was the last person she wanted to see.

"Open the door, Olivia."

He must've heard her behind the door so there was no use in pretending not to be home.

He knocked again when she still didn't open the door. He looked straight at her through the peephole as if he could tell she was still watching him.

"I don't mind camping out here until you open up." He told her. "In fact, I think I just might. It's pretty cozy out here in the hall."

Olivia shook her head. She believed he would.

"Why are you here, Fitzgerald?" She asked through the door.

"Oooh, Fitzgerald hunh? You must be reeeeally mad at me." Fitz tried to joke but when he got nothing back in return, not even a smart comment, he knew he was in deep trouble and he needed to fix it. FAST.

"I wanna talk to you." He replied. "You said and did some things a few nights ago that stuck with me. I just wanna make sure that we're square."

Olivia scoffed. What exactly were they gonna square out? There was nothing left for them to say to each other. She foolishly poured out her heart to him in the most cliché way and all he left her with was tears and confusion, and time to herself to draw her own worse conclusions. And after she's had time to lick her wounds, and bounce back from the pain of his rejection, she came up with a startling revelation: it was all fine. Life moves on either way.

"Oh don't worry, Ace. I got your message loud and clear." Olivia said sarcastically. "I poured my heart out to you and you just... left. I think that pretty much squared everything out for me."

He sighed. And then she heard him glide down the door onto the floor. "I'm an idiot, Livvie."

"Took you long enough to figure that one out. But congratulations nonetheless."

Fitz chuckled as he ran his fingers through his hair. She always had to have some snappy comeback. It's one of the main reasons why he adores her so much. Her lack of chill and PhD in the language of sarcasm.

"I suppose I had that one coming." He said.

"I suppose you did."

"For how long?" He asked.

Olivia knew exactly what he was asking her. Better question was why it mattered.

"Does it matter?" She sassed.

"It matters." Fitz replied.

"Why?" Olivia demanded.

He didn't answer for a few minutes but Olivia could feel all of him through the thick layers of that wooden door. She could almost inhale the intoxicating smell of his manly cologne if she closed her eyes long enough. She could feel him and her traitorous body was crying out loud for him. She shook her head because she couldn't comprehend why every cell in her body was vibrating for a man who didn't want her. Even crazier, she found herself sliding down the door onto the floor seconds later too.

"Why does it matter?" She asked again.

"Because someone very wise once told me that there was never going to be a right time to tell you how much I fucking want you and need you." He finally replied. "She told me to stop simply existing and start living and I've been racking my brain trying to remember the last time I felt truly alive and I realized that I'd been living half a life until that night when I saw you and you became a part of it. Then suddenly, I was always alive whenever I'm with you. You're exactly who I've wished for my whole life." A beat passed as a smile etched its way across Fitz's lips. Every word he just spoke was true and right now, after admitting all of this to her, a weigh came off his shoulders and he felt light. He was the most alive he's ever been. He put his hand under the door for her to see; for her to touch. "So you see baby, it matters very much because I'm not running... anymore, Livvie." He said with conviction. "I'm tired of running; tired of waiting; tired of pretending like my whole heart doesn't belong to you. I'm tired and I wanna come home, baby."

At that, something inside Olivia just cracked. Like a dam, she felt as if something inside of her found it's release and broke free and in return, another thing clicked into it's rightful place. It was the strangest thing but she felt it. What it was, she couldn't say but as strange as it was, it also felt extremely good.

"And I'm not leaving here tonight until you open that door." He added.

"But why-"

"I'm an idiot, baby." Fitz interrupted. He felt physically ill. And if he didn't spend the last three days kicking himself about his lack of communication skills, he was definitely packing on a beating now. His baby sounded so hurt and confused and it was his fault. But for the time being, she was still speaking to him, which meant he had a chance to fix it and he was gonna do just that. He was gonna make it right. "I know what you might be thinking right now, but I can promise you, this isn't me playing some game with you."

Damnit!

"And how do I know that, Fitzgerald?"

"I guess you don't." He replied smugly. "Not yet anyways. But if you open the door, you can be the judge of whether or not I'm bullshitting you."

"How exactly am I gonna do that?"

Olivia threw her head back against the door. She couldn't believe how childish and silly this was — two grown adults talking to each other through a door. Such a terrible, damn cliché.

"You can look into my eyes and trust what your gut tells you."

GODDAMN CLICHE!

"And what is my gut going to tell me, Fitzgerald?" She couldn't help asking.

He was silent again. Not at a loss for words but because he wanted to find the perfect ones. Though Fitz did wish they were having this conversation face to face, he knew that beggars couldn't be choosers. Besides, this wasn't half bad.

"It's gonna tell you that from the moment I met you, I knew right then and there that I was so completely yours." He begin. "It's also going to tell you that since I've met you, for the first time in my life in a very long time, I feel like I belong in this world." At that, Olivia looked down at his hand beneath the door and hesitantly, she placed her hand on top of his, their fingers entwining all on their own. With her, he was never alone. As long as she's living and breathing, he will never have to live through loneliness ever again. "... like I have a purpose and that is to be the best version of myself I can be for you. You're gonna look into my eyes, and know without a doubt that I've waited my entire life just for you and that I would travel to the ends of this world and back EVERY time just to keep finding you . You're also gonna see life in my eyes because I'm no longer that lost little boy whose parents died and left him to fend himself and figure it all out on his own. I've faced my demons and they're no longer my drive. I'm not just merely existing one day at a time hoping everything will get better the next day, anymore. Everything has gotten better from the moment I saw you sitting at that bar and every day since has been simply the best. My life has gotten better because you brought this light into it and suddenly, I don't feel so lost and alone anymore. I don't feel so invisible anymore. I feel seen because you see me. I feel understood because you understand me without me having to tell you. You know me. And in spite all my flaws and adversities, I feel accepted by you, by your family, and by your friends - people who you brought into my life when I had nobody and that's made all the difference."

Just like before, Olivia felt that crack widen just a little bit more and this time, it wasn't so hard to distinguish what that something that broke free was. It wasn't so strange anymore because that thing that broke free was her. It was that time and she felt it so strongly as a rush of cold air knocked her lungs. He's the wrecking ball that her mother told her about and with his every words, he was cracking a dent through the impenetrable glaciers that's surrounded her and protected her all these years. A shiver that wracked her body from head to toe - set her heart racing erratically and rose a trail of goosebumps all over her. Olivia folded her legs towards her chest and wrapped her arms around herself as tears brimmed in her eyes. And when they fell, they tasted like freedom.

"So come on, Olivia Pope," He continued. "If you feel even remotely as strongly as I feel about you right now, open the door. Have a look into my eyes and tell me what you see."

Olivia sniffled and lift a hand to wipe her tears away. How could she not at least try after the things he'd just said to her? How could she even entertain the thought of moving on along with life now that she knows how he truly feels about her?

She couldn't. And that's why even though a part of her was still reserved because that's who she is and old habits die hard, she was standing up on her two feet again and opening the door despite the racing of her heart and the shaking of her hands as she did so.

When she finally unfastened the chains and cracked the door open, he was still sitting on the floor. But when she opened it widely, his head snapped up and she was met with a staggeringly handsome face and the most beautiful pair of blue eyes she's ever seen. Olivia blinked, trying to rack her brain to figure out how he could be so drop-dead gorgeous without even trying and she came up with absolutely nothing. But that still didn't stop her from admiring him.

Too soon, Olivia became aware of their staring contest and she decided to be the first to break it off by offering him a helping hand so he can stand up on his feet. He obliged quickly and in a blink of an eye, his incredible frame was towering over hers and she was being put under a spell with the way he brought her closer to him, wrapped his arms around her waist and looked into her eyes.

"Hi," He whispered.

Olivia was putty in his arms and under the scrutiny of his powerful gaze. "Hi." She replied.

"What do you see, Livvie?" He asked softly.

That sacred nickname, coupled with the way he was staring into her soul with those beautiful eyes of his... Olivia knew she wouldn't survive. And if she somehow did, she was gonna tell the world about this very moment someday.

Good God almighty! I love you!

Olivia's breath caught in her throat as Fitz drew her closer; their gaze on each other never wavering. They were so close that at one point Olivia couldn't even distinguish if the feathery feeling she could feel against her cheek was because of his warm breathing or the softness of his lips. But whatever it was felt incredible, so much so, it weakened her knees.

"What do you see, Fireball?" Fitz asked again, softer than the last time if that was even possible.

I love you!
I love you...
I love you...
I love you!

In all of her existence, Olivia had never met a man whose voice could sound so angelical, but yet still powerful enough to bring a woman to her knees. His voice was... what is the word she's looking for? Orgasmic. That was it. His voice was like a breathtaking orgasm. The kind that wrecked a person by the time it was over. God is good.

Olivia licked her lips as she finally found it in herself to truly look at him. She looked beyond the color and shape of his eyes that could have anybody fooled because of their irresistible beauty. This was a selfless gift, one that Olivia knew would only happen on rare occasions and she treated it as such by valuing this moment. She searched through, going as deeply as he'll allow her in this very moment until she could see all of him. Honestly. And tears threatened to swallow her whole when he was standing in the light for her to see him for the first time in all of his vulnerable glory. Naked and raw, she saw him. She saw his beautiful soul behind all of the darkness that he hides so well and it was everything.

Before he could ask her again, Olivia brought her shaking hands to his face and placed them on either side of his chiseled jaw. Fitz leaned into them like his lifeline and kissed the inside of her wrist sweetly.

I've been loving you a little too long.
And I don't wanna stop now

"What do you see, baby?"

"Everything." Olivia whispered.

And just when she felt as though she was about to drown with all that was bare for her to see, he kissed her. Right there, in front of her door and nothing before that moment or after it mattered because the only thing Olivia could feel, the only thing that consumed her and made her feel as though she was truly alive was in her arms in that very instant, pouring all he's got into her with one helluva kiss. His tongue snaked through her lips and she welcomed the promising dance it offered with a vibrating moan as she curled her arms around his neck and her fingers through his silky hair.

God, it's such a delicious kiss. His lips are heaven and he tasted like reincarnation. Olivia was so filled with him, so intoxicated by him, so breathless to the point of dizziness but even that's still not enough because the realization that she'll never have enough of him hits her just as hard as her desires to give him everything and beyond what he was giving her in return.

I love you in so many different ways...
I'm down on my knees
Don't make me stop now, baby
Cause' I love you!
Good God, almighty!I love you...

At some point, Olivia felt him bend his knees and suddenly, she was momentarily suspended in the air before her legs wrapped themselves around his waist securely. As they stumble through her apartment, his hands on her never ceased to wonder her body and his lips never stopped searching for the perfect grasp of heaven on hers.

I love you!

...

Now sitting in her living room with her straddling his waist, Fitz finally pulled away but his lips didn't leave hers. He rested his forehead against Olivia's and found joy in listening to the irregular sound of her heartbeat and breathing.

He lifted his head and pressed his lips against her forehead before retreating back all together. A smile on his lips, he watched her with unwavering eyes and he couldn't believe just how lucky he got. Whatever he'd done in this lifetime or the last to bring him right here in this very moment must've been something of great significance and by God was he ever grateful.

"You're so damn beautiful, Livvie." Fitz said, shaking his head in great disbelief.

There goes that nickname again. The one that makes her all breathless and alive at the same time. She doesn't think she'll ever know what to do with herself whenever he called her that. Almost bashfully, Olivia smiled at him and muttered a shy reply under her breath, "Thank you."

"I meant every single word, Livvie." Knowing her as well as he already does, Fitz knew that the kiss they shared, as amazing as it was had delayed them from finishing the conversation they need to have and he would stall no longer. He needed her to believe that he was very serious about them. About her and the future of their relationship moving forward.

Olivia nodded. "I know you did." She told him.

"But you still have questions." Fitz stated.

She nodded again, affirming his guess.

"Then ask them. I'll answer whatever questions you have." He said.

"Why now when days ago I could've sworn you didn't feel the same way about me as I felt about you?"

Fitz shrugged. "Because then wasn't the right time." Just like all the other times.

Olivia raised a perfect eyebrow his direction. "And now is?" She asked.

"Yes." He replied simply.

"Why is that?"

He grabbed a pillow and placed it on the arm of the large white sofa before rotating his body horizontally with her still straddling his lap. Now in a more comfortable position, he smirked up at her as he played with her hair absent-mindedly.

"I seriously waited my whole life for you, Livvie." He told her. "Do you really think I'd start anything with you when I was already involved with someone else?"

Speechless, Olivia could only stare back at him with awe.

"There are rules to things and I'm kind of a perfectionist." Fitz said with a ridiculous smirk playing on his lips. "We already established that I'm an idiot," He paused when Olivia chuckled at him and Fitz couldn't help but shake his head at how adorable she was. But then he continued. "When I said I couldn't do it and stormed out, it wasn't because I didn't feel the same way back. It was because I felt too much like you did and if we were gonna really be together, it had to be right. We had to have a good, fresh start and that wasn't gonna happen while another woman believed she was in the process of starting something truly important with me. That wouldn't be fair to any of us and quite frankly, I just thought you deserved better."

It should be noted that in this very moment, Olivia was mentally counting the many more ways she had just fallen in love with him in that very instant as those words left his mouth. He was seriously perfect and she loved how his mind worked. She loved how he put everybody else's feelings into consideration before he acted. In her eyes, that made him truly flawless.

"It's the reason why after I left Mike's, I went to see Amanda." Fitz explained.

"What happened?" Olivia asked, biting her lips anxiously.

Fitz reached up and tugged her lips from her teeth. "Don't do that." He chastised. "Those beautiful lips belong to me now and I don't want you bruising them for any reason or whatsoever."

A blushing idiot was exactly what Olivia couldn't stop being and if Abby were to witness her as such, surely the redhead would throw a party in her honor. So many times over the past few weeks she wished for Fitz to look at her through different lenses and now he was claiming her as his loud and proud. How things have turned around and in such a short while too. Olivia felt so giddy, it wouldn't surprise her if she slid off Fitz for a moment and started performing a very ridiculous, happy dance.

Maybe later. Definitely.

"Okay." Olivia agreed when she finally snapped out of it.

His hand in her hair tugged soft enough to bring her head against his chest but hard enough to elicit the most arousing feeling to a woman who's had a long lasting dry spell. Needless to say, it did the trick of bringing her lips close enough for him to gently kiss. When he pulled away with a tug, Olivia raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

Fitz smirked, "Oops. Did I not mention that I am the only exception to that rule?"

It was then Olivia knew that he was one kinky bastard and for some reason unknown to her, that truth excited her more than she'd care to explain to anyone.

"So what happened?" She asked again.

"Well, Amanda and I had a grown up conversation." He said to put it lightly. "You see, there's this other really pretty girl who's managed to steal my heart away from the moment I met her, and ever since, being with anybody else has been very unimaginable. So I told Amanda all about her but not before I sincerely apologized for thinking that it would be fair to string her along."

Olivia visibly winced at the last part. She imagine that couldn't have felt good to hear from a guy and she couldn't help but feel bad for Amanda for just a tiny bit, because deep down at the very bottom of her heart, Olivia Pope was a girl's girl. She was gaining an amazing man at the expense of another woman losing him. But she quickly had to remind herself that Fitz wasn't a prize to be won. Fitz might think that she's the only one that had something to bring into his life; that he's the only one who's been saved but truth be told, he brought into her life so much more and God bless him, he's not even aware of that truth.

"How did she take it?" She wondered.

Fitz sighed, kissing the crown of her head. "Surprisingly well." He declared. "Turns out, I wasn't the only one hung up on somebody else."

"Ouch!" Olivia feigned sympathy. "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

She wasn't sorry. Not really. She just figured it was the polite thing to say and she suspected that Fitz knew that judging by the smirk on his lips as he kissed her forehead again.

"I don't care." He told her. "The only people I'm concerned about working out is us and I already know that we will."

"Confident aren't we?" She teased, her lips stretching widely in a breathtaking smile.

Fitz wound his fingers through her hair again and massaged her scalp. He loved her hair. He loved the bouncy texture of her curls. In his opinion, she has never looked more beautiful to him than she did now at this very moment, laying against his chest. "Of course." He replied. "Besides, confidence is the key to success."

She frowned at him, looking cute as all hell. "Are you sure it's not preparation?"

A guttural laughter boomed through Fitz's chest and escaped his mouth. He doesn't think she knows just how dorky she can be sometimes. Of course she'd bust his balls about something that Alexander Graham Bell said many moonlights ago and he absolutely loved her for it. God, does he love this woman.

"Tomato, tomahto smartass." He hushed any snappy comeback she had for him at the tip of her tongue by capturing her lips in a wet kiss. The grip in her hair just as tight as the one he had on the curves of her ass.

Before they could go down to the road of no return, he pulled away with a soft peck to her nose. "Just in case you were wondering why it took me three days to drag my ass here and tell you all of this is because I spent the first day convincing myself that you hated me. Then I spent the second day telling myself that I'd done enough damage and that you wanted nothing to do with me, so it was best for you if I stayed away. And finally, it took me the better part of today to realize that it wasn't my place to dictate how you were feeling."

"Maybe you're not such an idiot after all." Olivia beamed.

"One of these days, that smart mouth of yours is going to get you into a lot of trouble with me." Fitz warned her before he kissed her again, slow and breathless. Olivia couldn't help but hope that trouble would come soon because she had a feeling that it would be the sweetest kind.

This instance, it was time that had Fitz pulling away. A glance at his watch told him that time had moved at the speed of a thief running from the cops, seeing as though it was only ten minutes to one o'clock in the morning.

"I should go." He said. "It's getting late."

Olivia pouted at him and damn if it wasn't the cutest thing he'd ever seen. "You don't want me to leave?" He asked.

"No." Olivia shook her head in disapproval. She just got him and she wasn't too keen with the idea of him leaving her so soon. This still all felt very unreal to her and she needed him around for just a little bit longer to feel assured that this wasn't just some dream she would wake up from some time soon. She needed his sweet honey kisses, she needed to be able to hold his face in her hands and map out every curve and commit it to memory so that she never forgets what the face of true love looks like to her. She needed him to hold her into the night, tightly against his chest and reassure her that this was very much real when she woke up in the middle of the night. But most of all, she needed him. She wasted enough time, she didn't wanna miss another minute with him.

And to prove just how much she wanted him to stay, Olivia then grabbed one of Fitz's hands and glided her fingers through the empty spaces between his. "I think you should stay and make me your famous grilled cheese sandwiches with the tomato soup."

Uttering those words only brought Olivia back to when it all started. Back to the beginning on that fateful night when she shamelessly drooled over him in his kitchen and he accused her of being a bad boy lover. They had come so far since then.

Fitz smiled at her as if his mind went back to when they all begin also. Of course he did. He couldn't forget if he tried. That night was the best night of his life and he knew it the moment he made the decision to talk to her.

"Ask me to stay and I will." He said.

That was easily done when Olivia cupped his jaw and kissed his lips. "Stay."

"Done and done, Fireball." Fitz whispered smilingly.

When they didn't move instantly off the couch to start on their late night indulgement, Olivia spoke: "We still got eight minutes till one."

Fitz nodded. "That we do." He agreed, strumming his fingers along the slope of her back. "What should we do with those eight minutes?" He asked.

Seconds passed and swear to God; put it on everything he's got left, this is the next thing Fitz heard out of Olivia's mouth word for word: "You wanna suck face?"

Fitz lost it. He exploded into a fit of laughter so delicious that it brought tears to his eyes and set the muscles of his stomach aching. It was official. Olivia Pope was the funniest person he's ever met.

"You're a strange dude." She told him once he'd managed to get his laughter under control. Barely that was.

"Look at the pot calling the kettle black." He teased.

She ignored him with a very impressive roll of her eyes. "A cute girl asks you if you wanna make out with her and your response to that is to burst into hysterical laughter? I'm seriously not sure what to make of that, Ace."

That elicited another piercing bouts of laughter from Fitz. If he didn't know before that she was it for him, now he was definitely convinced. As long as he was living and breathing he'll hold onto her with a death grip and never let go. And even when he ceased to be in this lifetime, he'll find her in the next and do just the same.

In that moment, those three little magical words were waiting at the tip of his tongue, just itching to leave his mouth but he didn't want to overwhelm her with too much so soon so instead he teased her some more. "Is that what the cool kids are calling that grown up stuff nowadays? Face sucking... really?"

She squinted at him, making her cute little nose crunch up. "Fitzgerald..."

"Yes?" He replied with a chortle.

"Nobody likes a smartass." She told him. "Now, will you please make out with me?"

Even as he puckered up prettily to kiss her, he still couldn't resist teasing her one last time. "Yes. I'd love to suck face with you, pretty girl."

And for the next five minutes, they did exactly that until the small needle of the clock striked at the one. They stayed in the same position on the couch and made out like a couple of horny teenagers with nothing but time in their hands. They kissed – teeth biting, tongue rolling and soothing delicious stings. It was an exhilarating and drugging combination of techniques that varied at different rhythms and left them both panting for oxygen. They also touched; a lot of groping that resulted in them getting quickly acquainted with each other as fast as possible in the most physical and intimate senses. They moaned and purred like sinners in the back of a church on a holy Sunday and they found that they both enjoyed the sound quite well.

"It got better." Fitz uttered breathlessly when they came up for air.

"Better?" Olivia breathed with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah." Fitz nodded. "Kissing you only gets better."

"You say the sweetest things to me, Fitzgerald Grant." Olivia smiled.

She then climbed off him and started tugging at his hand to get up. Fitz groaned. Her couch was way too comfortable and he'd much rather continue to kiss those pretty lips of hers but duty calls and he had to get up.

"Okay, fine!" He huffed, jumping on his feet with a start.

And it wasn't until then that Fitz was able to fully pay attention to Olivia's attire. His grip on her waist tightened and his eyes clouded with lust as he watched her luscious ass poke out of her short romper. He wondered if it was too soon to make one of his long time dreams come true. What did it make him that he wanted to bruise her ass just a little bit when they haven't even put a name to what they were to each other yet?

It made him a man with a pair of eyes and a dick. And he wouldn't wait any longer to have what he wants so he let his hand on Olivia's waist travel just a little lower and he gripped a handful of her butt. It took everything Fitz had not to moan at the feeling. So many times he's fantasized about this and the reality was nothing like his dreams. It was so much better.

Olivia was startled when she felt him grip her ass, but when he released her with a smack, she turned to look at him with her mouth gaping.

"What was that for?" She asked.

Fitz shrugged, an amused smirk playing on his lips as he squeezed her ass. "I've wanted to do that for a while." He replied honestly, also blushing like a cute idiot. "And your ass is very spankable. Me likey."

Olivia shook her head at him, smiling. "You're shameless."

"Get used to it." Fitz said, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her neck as they continued making their ways to her kitchen. "Being with me comes with all sorts of things."

"Such as?" Olivia asked.

They reached the kitchen and Fitz lifted her on top of the counter by the waist. Spreading her legs wide, he stepped in between them and caressed her bare thighs. "Such as holding your hands," At that he took her small hands in his and entwined their fingers together, "... give you random out-of-the-blue kisses," He leaned in and pecked her nose before placing an even sweeter kiss on her lips, "I'll make you tea in the morning just how you like it. I'll write you little notes in the morning and stick them in your bag so that when you find them, you'll know that I've been thinking about you," He continued against her lips, making Olivia's face stretch into the most beautiful smile he's ever seen on her. "I'll take you on the best dates, baby." He promised. "I'll go to the pharmacy at midnight to get you tampons when you run out. I'll let you eat my ice cream and even watch one of those stupid chick flicks you like. When you get sick, I'll make you my special chicken soup; I'll take care of you until you're nursed back to health." For the last part, Fitz pulled away to make sure that Olivia was looking into his eyes when he vowed those other things to her. "... And when you have a bad day, I'll be there to welcome you home, kiss you the only way I know how until the bad day washes away. I'll run you baths, pour you wine and give you massages. And then when you're being mopey in that cute Olivia Pope way of yours, I'll cuddle with you." He smiled, so widely, so brightly that the blues of his eyes sparkled like gems. At this point, Olivia was pretty sure she was nothing but pudding. "I'll worship every single thing about you, baby." He added. "More importantly, I'll always be there when you need me. No matter what, I'll always show up for you, Livvie."

The rollercoaster of emotions going through Olivia ran so deeply, she could barely form words. He was too damn perfect to be real. Olivia ran her fingers through his hair as she looked at him adoringly. God, please let him be real. She begged silently to the spirits above because if this was a dream, she's not sure she'll want to wake from it to face reality. Let him be real - she pleaded once more with watery eyes. "That sounds perfect."

"I'm all in on this." Fitz then told her. "I'm gonna give you everything, Livvie and if for some reason I can't, I promise I'll die trying." He vowed.

Tears poured behind Olivia's eyes for the second time the night and each time they fell, she could hear the crack in her glaciers widening up. She pulled Fitz closer to her because even close wasn't close enough. She wanted to be one with him. She wanted to be consumed with all of him.

"I don't need everything." She whispered, her forehead leaning against his. "As long as we got each other, I'll be alright, Ace. Te lo prometto." And this time when Olivia kissed him, it wasn't about fanning the heat of their passion, though that still lingered somewhere underneath it all. This kiss was different. It was a sweet swiping of her lips against his in the most breathtaking and loving way. "You're enough."