It had felt good to talk to Tan, but Chris knew now, more than ever that she had to actually talk to Street. And not be hostile. Just honest.
But what did that mean? She couldn't be honest about everything.
And so, Chris sets out to find the best way to have a conversation and maybe, just maybe, make Street see that this decision he absolutely feels obligated to make, is a stupid one. A dangerous one at that.
A few days of awkward moments and silences follow. Chris is grateful for Tan to try and be her anchor and that he isn't forcing an uncomfortable situation on her. But with every passing day she realizes her window of opportunity is closing.
The morning she finally has found her strengths and is on her way over to Street, to just tap him on the arm and ask if they can talk Lynch walks up. "Alonso, do you have a minute?"
Chris contemplates for a second to say no and just go about her plan, but the team is scheduled for training and physical eval, so she has no reason to deny Lynch's request. Her eyes drift to Street and catch him looking at her. When their eyes meet Chris feels the weight of everything hit her and that renews her vigor to try and sort this out. Today.
After her meeting with Lynch is finished it is actually time for lunch. Chris dreads hanging out with everyone in the kitchen. Somehow this meeting made it all the more real that she will be leaving in just a few weeks, and she can't leave without making sure that Street doesn't risk his career and life. She is deep in thought on her way to the stairs when suddenly she walks into something. Someone.
Chris' eyes widen in shock and fall down to the floor. She expects to have to apologize to Commander Hicks, but she doesn't see the dress shoes she'd see if she had just disrespected her boss. Her eyes fall onto standard uniform boots and before her head can wander up, she actually feels his presence and hears his voice.
"Sorry," Street reaches out to Chris's shoulder. She had been frozen into the spot after walking smack dab into him and that was a little unusual. "Is everything okay?"
That question shakes Chris out of her stupor. She studies his face and says the first thing on her mind. "I don't know,"
Before Street can even react, Chris has caught herself and after pressing her lips together and chewing on the inside of them a little she breathes out. "Can we talk?"
He can't deny he is a little surprised by that question after the last couple of days of getting the cold shoulder and it almost feeling like two years ago, when Chris had been avoiding him. With a small, hopeful smile Street nods his head in approval and lets her lead the way.
They walk together in comfortable silence to the kitchen, and both grab some food from the fridge but when he wants to sit down Chris motions her head for Street to follow. For once she wants to be sure they are alone and can really talk.
When they are both sitting on the steps of Black Betty outside overlooking the quad Chris takes a deep breath and starts. "Can we talk about you thinking about donating a piece of your liver again?"
Street has to swallow. Since they hadn't spoken for a few days, he needed to break a tough truth now.
"I already made up my mind, Chris. I am a match. I am going to do it. I just talked to Hicks and Hondo and made the arrangements," he glances over to Chris who has seemingly frozen up again.
"Why would you risk everything for that woman?" Chris starts to feel angry and can't keep her voice even. Her eyes sparkle dangerously.
Street knows he has to stay calm, but it is hard. "She is my mom. I can help her. So, I have to do that!" he explains and tries to find Chris's eyes. "You could lose your life!"
"I won't," he tries to calm Chris down, but she is not even hearing him.
"What about SWAT? You, we, worked too hard for you to just throw it all away now!" Chris has gotten up and is pacing now while glaring at him.
"I am not throwing anything away. I talked to Hicks and the doctors said I should be back to work in 3 to 6 months. You're..." "But what if something goes wrong?" Chris interrupts him and this time he can hear the fear and Street can't help himself. He needs to know.
"This is my life, my decision, why do you even care?"
Street knows it was a little unfair. They had been doing so well after the disastrous way he had blurted out his feelings and the aftermath of that. Chris had trusted him and taken him with her to her first grief group and AA meetings. He knew she cared but he couldn't help it. He wanted her to say she has those feelings too.
"Because I care about you!" Chris says it shaky, and her eyes are blazing. "You are my friend, and I can't stand by and let you do something stupid without trying to…"
She had seen his eyes light up after the first sentence, which is why she felt the need to clarify what she meant. And it was immediately clear Street wasn't too sure what to make of those two statements.
"Chris, I have to try and help her. She is my mother," he tries one more time to reason with Chris. "And I am going to need my friends to help me through this,"
Chris hears the words and realizes he got her there. She stops pacing and slowly turns to face Street again. "Do you know already when you'll have the surgery?"
Street blinks a few times confused. Did Chris just stop arguing? "There are still a few things that need sorting but probably in three weeks if all works out," he can't help the sad tone his voice takes. Before his inner eye time is running out on his mom and … Street shakes his head to rid himself of the dark thoughts. He is doing everything to help. Now.
Chris did the math in her head. Three Weeks. Her heart sinks. That could mean she wouldn't be here. What if…?
"Hey, where did you go just now?" Street steps closer to Chris and pulls her back to the sunny parking lot outside of HQ. "Three weeks? That means I might be in Germany already," she studies him for a second until the trademark smile illuminates his face and Chris furrows her brows.
"Don't worry. Focus on yourself. I'll get through this and if you're already across the ocean I'll call you with an update or Tan or Deac," he smiles at her with all the hope and confidence he can muster and opens his arms for a hug. To his surprise Chris actually steps into his hug without hesitation and wraps her arms around him.
She'd never admit it, but just listening to his heartbeat right then and there is helping her calm down and focus on the future.