IT WAS a beautiful sunny day in Anaheim and the best way to spend it was walking the ivory sands of the SoCal coast and giving girls an eye instead of hunching over a laptop screen and mindlessly persuing the Interwebs to find out how to get women to pay attention to you.
Which was exactly Marcus was doing.
"Yo, Marc," said Tomias with a SoCal swagger in his step, "what are you doin' on your sorry ass? There's babes out there on the beach."
"Not yet, Tommy," said Marc, "I've gotta be ready to go out dere, and I'm not gonna be ready to go out dere widout some better equipment."
"We've got the best equipment around, Marc. You turn into a leopard, I turn into a wolf. We're Animergers!"
"Yeah, but look at dis. Did you know a blue whale has the biggest dick? If I merged into a whale, I'd be drowning in babe. And if you turned into a whale, you'd be drowning in babe, too."
"Whatchu talkin' 'about, Marc? We're gonna drown in babe if we just tell 'em the truth. We've already saved the world. The Yurks are done for. Everyone everywhere all at once is happy and lovin' life. We don't do that merger shit anymore."
"Well, then, you can spend da rest of your life miserable and alone, like you always have. But I'm gonna get me some equipment and pack around some epic shit."
And he pulled out his cellphone and dialed a 23-digit number with an intergalactic prefix. "Yeah, Elfric?"
"It's Elfangor, you radish."
"Whatever, Elf. Listen, I wanna be a blue whale."
And a weary sigh rimshotted the other end of the line. "Not this again."