A birthday present to run away from

Harry and Snape were still staring at each other.

Had the thing just growled?

Blacky had come closer to sniff the package carefully but he jumped back, startled, when he was growled at as well.

"Potter, why is Hagrid sending you a parcel?"

"Because it's my birthday."

Harry held up the card for emphasis.

Right, today was July 31st, he had completely forgotten that in his anger. The boy turned thirteen today. Hard to believe when you looked at him like that. Severus could have sworn that Potter had hardly grown at all since his first year at Hogwarts and back then, he had already been shorter than all his classmates. Severus wondered why that was. James and Lily were both very tall. Was that a side effect of the killing Curse?

But he could worry about that another time. For now, something else was important.

"Alright, another question. Why is Hagrid sending you a 'snarling' parcel?"

Harry grinned mischievously at his teacher.

"Because he's Hagrid."

Great. What logic and worst of all, the boy was right. Such an action was really typical of the git.

Severus liked Hagrid, but sometimes he would like to slip him an intelligence-enhancing potion. If only those things weren't banned.

But back to the topic.

Severus concentrated again on the strange gift in Potter's hand. The boy was just about to open it carefully. Curiously watched by the mutt.

'Wait a minute!"

"What?"

"Potter, do you know what this is? No you don't know what's in there, let me do it for you."

Harry had already untied the string when he looked confusedly at his teacher.

"But Hagrid would never send me anything dangerous. With the exception of his homemade cakes and cookies, perhaps."

Severus didn't know whether to roll his eyes or laugh. Potter was somehow right about both. Unfortunately, he too had already had the 'pleasure' of Hagrid's cooking skills, nevertheless.

"Give me that, Potter. It'll be my fault if you hurt yourself later."

The boy reluctantly handed him the parcel. And his stupid dog growled too. The owl, on the other hand, simply watched the whole thing with interest.

Severus carefully removed the paper. Underneath was a box.

"Looks like the guy really did send you something alive."

Slowly, the potions master took the lid off the box. Nothing happened at first and Severus was about to breathe a sigh of relief. The next moment, however, he was jumped on.

No matter what it was, it had teeth. The teacher dodged it in a flash.

He heard loud growling behind him, this was followed by barking and then a wild dog raced past him.

"What in Morgana, was that?"

Harry looked at Snape completely speechless and open-mouthed. He had seen what it was. But somehow he couldn't believe it.

"A book."

"What was that?"

"It's a book."

"Potter, books don't bite."

"Ron would disagree with you," the boy said with a laugh.

"Spare me your jokes, please."

Harry pouted. 'Typical Slytherin. Humorless people.'

"Be that as it may, it's definitely a book. And if we don't catch it quickly, Blacky will shred it."

"Let him."

Harry scowled at his teacher.

"It's a gift from Hagrid, I certainly won't allow it to be destroyed."

Severus tried to stab the boy with his eyes, but once again it had no effect at all. The boy was simply too stubborn. He sighed in resignation.

"Call your behemoth back, I'll take care of your 'gift'."

Harry grinned with satisfaction.

"Blacky, over here."

Immediately, the dog interrupted the chase and looked at his master in disbelief.

"Come on boy, let the professor chase the book."

That seemed to work. Blacky actually came and sat down next to Harry. He looked at the dark man with interest.

Severus could clearly feel the stares at his back. 'Heavens, now I'm being watched by a child and two critters as I run after a book.

If the entire Lion Tower were to find out about this stunt and if he was unlucky, Minerva too. He then would have to listen to the old crow's teasing again. The woman never missed an opportunity to tease him.

Angrily, he pointed his wand into the corner where the book was facing them. He was sure it was staring. The thing had something of the 'chest' from the Pratchett novels.

"Accio bite book."

He could hear stifled giggles behind him, but he couldn't concentrate on that at the moment as the book came flying towards him. Unfortunately, with the cover wide open.

Harry bit his lips hard, it was simply wonderful and Blacky next to him also seemed to be laughing.

But the good humor quickly faded for both of them.

"Careful Professor, teeth!"

"I can see that myself Potter! If I get my hands on that imbecile."

"Duck!"

Just in time, Severus was able to react to the warning. He felt the book fly a hair's breadth over his head. Unfortunately, right in the direction of his student and his animals.

The owl flew up quickly and took refuge on one of the bed rails.

Harry also jumped out of the way and landed directly on Blacky's back. But instead of complaining, the dog, with its rider, took flight.

The book landed on the ground, turned around and attacked again. Now Severus had no choice but to flee. Well, he could have destroyed the thing, but then he would probably have to deal with an angry Potter. Normally he wouldn't have cared, but in that case there was also the danger that Hagrid would get angry. Something he didn't really want to have.

With one leap, Blacky was on the bed and a little later the potions master followed him.

Now they were all sitting in Harry's bed, being threatened by a book.

Harry climbed off Blacky's back and sat between him and his teacher.

"If Dumbledore ever finds out."

Harry didn't know how to react to Snape's sentence. So he just stared at him. After a while, he said,

"I fought a basilisk and now I'm hiding on a bed."

Severus let out a snort.

"What am I supposed to say? I fought Death Eaters in the last war."

Sounds of approval came from the dog and owl front.

They sat side by side like organ pipes, staring at their besieger.

"Bitebook?" Came from Harry after a while.

"Shut up Potter."

Harry hid his grin in Blacky's fur and blacky licked him over the head.

"Well, this isn't how I would have imagined my birthday either."

"You mean in a bed with your teacher and a dog."

"Don't forget Hedwig. And please stop with the double entendres."

"Potter, I assure you that I certainly wasn't thinking of anything like that."

"But I have. After all, I am a teenager."

"Get your hormones under control."

There was silence again for a while.

"Professor?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know a spell that cleanses textiles?"

Severus looked down at his student, somewhat irritated by the mental leap. The dog also seemed surprised by the question.

"Yes, of course I know such a spell. Why?"

"Because you're sitting in my bed with your boots on."

The teacher looked down. 'That's right.' But of course he couldn't take a rebuke like that lying down.

"Just like you."

"No, I took my shoes off after I plucked Blacky off you."

To illustrate, Harry pointed to his feet, which were only in socks.

Severus looked at them in disgust.

"Potter, when was the last time you changed your socks?"

The boy glared at him indignantly.

"They're fresh!"

"But you look like you've been wearing them for years."

"I have, but I've always washed them." The boy mumbled.

A little flustered, Severus turned to look at his student's face. He had lowered his head in shame and was staring at his knees.

What did that mean?

He was about to ask the boy, but then he saw that he was biting his lips hard and leaning slightly against Blacky.

Potter probably wouldn't answer any questions at the moment. However, Severus had no intention of letting the subject rest. He would come back to it. Just not today, that would be his birthday present for the boy.

However, he wanted to get out of this damned bed slowly.

"Potter?"

Suspicious eyes looked up at him from below.

"Yes?"

Severus pointed at the book. But before he could say anything, the boy interrupted him.

"No! Please don't, it's a present."

The dungeon master groaned in annoyance.

"Damn it Potter, I'm sure this thing isn't as valuable as you're making it out to be."

"It's valuable because I got it from a friend! You're just mad because it sent you across the room and onto a bed!" The boy roared.

Blacky had straightened up and put his ears back.

"Potter, mind your manners, even if you don't seem to have many of them. I won't put up with that kind of behavior."

He certainly wasn't going to tell him that the brat had hit the nail on the head. However, he had to admit that he had liked Potter's answer. Not the insult to his person, but the other thing. Everything he got from a friend was important to him. Interesting.

Suddenly, traveling noises were heard.

Everyone trapped in bed turned their eyes to the other side of the room.

The book had apparently become bored of being watched over. It had started to nibble on a chair leg.

"I doubt the Ministry will pay for the damage."

There it was again, Potter's gallows humor. The corners of Severus' mouth twitched unintentionally.

"There are spells for that too, don't worry about it.

But I still wonder why Hagrid gave you such a book? I know he has a penchant for wild and dangerous animals because he finds them harmless and misunderstood. But this?"

Harry spun around as if struck by lightning.

"You're right!"

Perplexed, he stared at his student.

"About what?"

"Hagrid always says that every animal is harmless. You just have to know how to handle them."

"That's all well and good, but this isn't an animal."

"But it's acting like one."

Harry turned back to the book. It was busy biting into Harry's suitcase. The boy didn't know if it would work, but he just followed his instincts.

"Hey, stop that right now, you naughty pile of paper."

Sure enough, the book stopped. It turned around and slowly closed the book cover, which was shaped like a mouth. A piece of wood was still hanging out of it.

Confirmed by this behavior, Harry continued.

"Come on, come here. And don't you dare bite. Then I'll put you in a cage.

The bundle of paper slowly made its way away. It looked really guilty.

When it reached the bed, it straightened up.

"That's a good boy."

Harry carefully reached for the book and lifted it. When he had it on his lap, he began to stroke it.

And he really seemed to like it. At least judging by the purring. The next moment it unfolded.

Severus had watched the whole thing, partly amused, partly disbelieving. He exchanged a quick glance with Blacky. He also seemed confused.

"I don't believe this. It lets itself be stroked? What the heck is that thing?"

Harry smiled.

"It's definitely typical of Hagrid. A book that behaves like an animal, no wonder my big friend likes it."

Great friend. Severus could only shake his head at this friend.

Harry, on the other hand, turned his attention back to the book.

"Well, will you tell me your name?"

Severus was about to make a biting comment when he realized what the boy meant by the sentence. And the book seemed to know too. It folded shut again.

Now you could clearly read the title.

"The monster book of monsters."