Chapter Twenty Three: A Freaking Westerosi Wedding, Part One.
Twentieth Day of the Eleven Month, 113 AC.
As King's Landing became visible in the distance I let out a deep breath and leaned forward on Balerion the Black Dread (Pony).
"Finally," I groaned.
Ebermen nodded beside me from atop his Bors, I had long since stopped wondering how he could hear my muttering from atop his steed with his helmet on. I had also stopped wondering why he insisted on wearing full armor the entire damned trip again. "Did you miss it?"
"What?" I asked him from our little place in the absurdly massive procession. "No! I am just glad we made it before I died of old age."
That got me an amused snort and blushed from the realization that I had more or less yelled the words, "Be thankful that they moved with relative speed."
I scowled in only somewhat mock-horror at that thought and looked up to where Clearsky was doing her lazy circles around the convoy, I could not wait for her to be strong enough to carry me.
Forget fleeing or fighting, I just wanted to cut down on travel time.
I will never complain about the speed of my personal caravan again.
I had thought that my pace with just my small party was slow, but the Hightower procession was positively glacial. We stopped at ever god-be-damned castle from Oldtown to Highgarden to stay a night under some lord's roof or another as before but now it was augmented by the sheer crawl of our sizable procession to say nothing of the hunts Lymon was regularly invited to.
Most of which were pretty 'meh' (I ordered three limbs broken the entire way) until we got to the severely oversized gardening project that was also known as Highgarden.
That is not an exaggeration, the entire place looked like someone was entirely too fond of greenery in my opinion.
Just as Yandel had claimed the place looked like it had been built into the hill, proud oaks and flowering fruit-trees stretched up until green gave way to the walls and towers of the castle structures which were themselves encased in vines. The entire complex was as unnecessarily massive as most any notable location in the world, honestly it was like some Westerosi architect wondered into my original world's Malbork Castle and decided 'Ya, that. We can use that as our minimum'. I had to admit that it was quite the sight in any case, even if calling it 'the most beautiful castle in Westeros' seemed like a pretty subjective claim in my own opinion.
Definitely the most descriptively named though, the Lannister seat being disqualified by virtue of misrepresentation.
Calling the atrocity of stone I had read of 'the Rock' was as accurate as calling Clearsky 'the Lizard'. Technically correct but only in an incredibly unhelpful way.
Granted, the descriptions I had read had been a bit lacking as it did not say the nicest thing about Maester Yandel that he completely ignored the massive 'castle town' that grew up around it before giving way to the endless fields that dominated the fertile region.
I realized that he did that a lot whenever I gave it some thought. For someone who claimed to be as knowledgeable as he presented himself in his book, he was rather prone to dismissing all but the largest of smallfolk populations (and even that level of acknowledgement was probably due to the presence of sufficiently wealthy merchants).
It was entirely possible that it had just been a fantasy conceit on the part of the original writers…
And just like that I drowned that particular sack of bad ideas in a metaphorical well. I knew better than to dive too deeply down that rabbit-hole, I would just end up smelling copper and horribly confused.
I could question my reality once I was out of imminent danger. Especially as we were moving closer to the hive of (against my better judgement) beloved family members who might decide that a bite of Gaemon was a good treat for a dragon.
On a more pleasant note, the Tyrells had been a welcome let-down, the lord was irritatingly old fashioned and the lady did her best to bury her initiative in a pit like any 'proper' lady of Westeros. Nowhere in sight were there any Margerys or Olennas much to my pleasure, I already had three families with an unhealthy interest in me, I did not need a fourth.
The sneakiest thing I had seen were the lord's twenty-year-old niece trying to shove her breast into Ormund's face (literally, if the servant gossip my staff reported were accurate). It was troubling that the boisterous widower did not go for the bait, it was bothersome when people revealed a trait I had not expected. A fun development was fine in my first world, not in the world where 'surprise' was a word often followed by 'attack'.
Almost as troubling as my grandfather falling for it.
"You seem pale," Ebermen observed as I tried to wrangle my gag-reflex.
"It is nothing, just remembering the Jeyne affair," Oh god, where is bleach when you need it? "Merely unsettled."
"Ah," Ebermen considered for a moment before nodding. "As you say."
Horror aside. The one big problem with the Tyrells was that they basically doubled our own group and proceeded to slow us down far more.
In the end it had taken seven, SEVEN weeks to make it the wedding, we were literally two days out from the feasting. Any closer and Rhaenyra might well have already mounted someone before I had a chance to shorten them with a pair of clippers.
Very jagged obsidian clippers if it was Cole.
"This took entirely too long," I muttered with mounting concern, the closer we got to the city, the more agitated and fidgety I became.
There was so much to do and so little time.
Ebermen turned his helmeted head towards me, "Did you miss them so much?"
I resisted the urge to snort.
"More than I care to admit," I conceded. "But you know me better than that."
"As you say, a plan then?" Ebermen kept his voice even but he understood well enough that I was typically motivated by engaging with some vague threat that I perceived or some precautionary plan. My trust in him was due in no small part to his willingness to go along with them.
"I wish," I responded more quietly. "It is fortunate we did not arrive any later or it would have been too late to do anything."
"The wedding then?" He asked.
I nodded, "Believe in me when I say that this wedding must go off without a hitch lest I find myself in danger."
Nessa had predicted that it would take at least four hours to gather the Pendants (a silly name), another two to reaffirm their fealty and at least one more to set them to work.
Granted, it was good that I had people to put to work.
It was difficult to tell at what point she had done it but my 'network' for lack of a better word had been thriving under the hand of my disturbingly competent nanny. I was beginning to think her ferocious learning speed might have been levying some unexpected consequences. To say nothing of how she was using her pay for…
Sutures and boat shares, heh.
"As you say," Ebermen sighed, dragging me out of my musings. If there was one good thing I could say about my shield it was that he took his role as my shield seriously enough to act on even perceived threats. "Be sure not to be too overt, if possible. A garish parry will merely create openings for another foe."
I nodded back at the knight's advice.
Speaking of overt, Arral rode up beside us wearing some sort of makeshift mask that reminded me entirely too much of a plague doctors mask.
"Ah there it is! King's Landing! They say a plague is not a proper plague until it infects the people there!" He chuckled in amusement.
I sighed, "Archmaester, might I ask why you are wearing that?"
"This?" He asked while tapping the beak. "Is it not obvious?! Two reasons! This first is a filter! I do not care what that silver hack claims! The air is probably incredibly foul in there!"
Huh, I did not think that Westerosi even had a notion of what a filter was.
They seemed to be the worst of the medieval era without any of the positive traits of the time after all.
"And the second?" I asked with a small smile.
"I heard that the place smells positively wretched! This!" He tapped the mask, "has smelling salts! Much better! Oh, and a third reason, I think it looks quite dashing!"
Huh, that was not surprising at all actually.
"Do you intend to wear that to the wedding?" Ebermen asked neutrally.
"What wedding?" Holy crap, he looked like a massive bird tilting his head with that mask on. "Ah yes! The wedding of the princess! Why of course! It would be quite rude to wear anything but my very best!"
Oh, oh no.
"Would it not be more proper to wear your Archmaester's mask?" I suggested.
He scratched the beak in a way that made we wonder if he had crammed his goatee into it, "Why?"
"Well as you know the nobles of the realm prize the metal and most of them will surely never get to see it in person," I said with a smile. "Would it not be magnanimous of you to display your mask so that they be allowed a fleeting look at the singular treasure?"
That left Arral positively preening, "You are right, Gaemon! How could I be so inconsiderate! I must go find Dallen and have him dig the mask up from my luggage at once!"
He spurred his grey rounsey before turning around and charging down the column to find his poor, poor assistants.
"Bringing him may have been unwise," Ebermen opined.
I shot him a questioning look, "Where exactly did it seem like I had a choice in the matter?"
"As you say."
…
"Gaem!" Egg screamed as he tackled me into the floor with a hug as my party dismounted from the stable. Lymon and his minions had mostly gone into whatever estates or inns they had throughout the city as I and my small party made our way into the keep.
"Air, Egg! I need air!" I whimpered as I had the life crushed out of me from the force of the hug.
"I missed you, I missed you, I missed you!" He mumbled while kissing my cheek in a fashion more akin to a freaking woodpecker trying to puncture a tree.
Despite myself I laughed and hugged him back. Even if we were not identical and even if I was what I was, it was hard not to feel an absence when I was away from him for so long.
"I missed you too Egg!" I said with a wider smile than I intended as I pulled myself up. God help me, this freaking deathtrap felt like home.
Egg and his nannies were not the only ones who came you greet me.
Mother and her trail of stev-erm, courtiers waited with them.
"My dear," Alicent said as she kneeled to embrace me, ignoring the dirt of the stone on her shimmering white and grey gown. Green eyes sparkling and a bright smile as she looked down on me.
"I've returned mother," I kissed her cheek. "If only for a little while."
"A little while then," She chuckled as she patted me on the head before rising.
"I am glad to have you returned to us for that little while then," She smiled down at me. "This half a year have felt like an eternity, I thank the Mother you have returned safely."
Even if this all felt like entirely too much theatre meant for the gaggle of Greens surrounding her, I felt her affection was genuine.
It soured the moment that I could not help but wonder how long that would last when it came down to it? Would their smiling faces turn to wrath and spite and calls for my head if I stood with Rhaenyra at the end of it? Would my Rhae also do the same? Would my other siblings.
Aem smiled and hugged me with his typical cuteness while Helaena hid behind her nanny's skirts and nervously leaned out to shyly wave.
"No hellos?" I asked with mock hurt before giving a theatric look around the yard. "Brothers, where is my Hela? Did she not come to greet me? Well, I fear that I have lost a sister then!"
"No!" She leaned out to give a vigorous shake of her head. "I'm here Gaem! Here!"
"Ah!" I scratched my chin skeptically. "You cannot be Hela, Hela would give me a hug! Are you an impost-HrRGH!"
Hela impacted me like a little wrecking ball. "No! No! I'm Hela! I'm Hela!"
"So you are," I chuckled while ruffling her hair (which I noted to some amusement, was worn in a little braid) and thanking my instinctive bracing that kept the embrace from driving me into the stone ground's concussive embrace.
It was easier, I reflected while Aem grumbled and wormed his way into our embrace, "And I'm Aem!"
"And so you are," I chuckled under what was turning into a sibling dogpile. It would be easier if you had been Aemond and Helaena. If Aeg was Aegon, Rhae was Rhaenyra and Mom was Alicent.
"Did you bring presents?" Aem asked awkwardly with his face in my shirt to avoid eye-contact.
"Aem!" Aeg pouted while trying to maintain the dignity of the older brother. "You're not supposed to ask!"
"Don't worry Aeg," I chuckled as I pulled myself free and got to my feet. "Of course, I bring gifts!"
At those words, my guards took steps to flank me with bundles in their hands.
I would have had to be a special kind of stupid to not bring gifts to try and earn whatever slivers of extra goodwill I could after a few months away. My finances were typically strained but they were not so devastated after Lymon took giving me an additional allowance (I was mildly concerned that he was just curious what I was doing with the money and amusing himself by enabling me).
Aegon got a copy of a simple book on dragons, what little was not predictably childlike in his letters were pride in an apparently unusual fondness for the creatures supposedly spurred by wanting one to match Sky. I doubted that had anything to do with me though, in the otl little Aeg was stated to have loved Sunfyre deeply and be more affected by the dragon's health than most of the other Targaryens. If he was disappointed, he hid it well.
Aemond and Helaena had been trickier since neither could write that well and it had been half a year.
But I thought the little sword and wooden armor were well received by my little brother given the ear-to-ear grin he gave me.
Helaena seemed surprisingly disappointed by the dress I gave her.
"Do you not like it?" I asked nervously.
"No," She tried to force a smile. "Aem just got a nicer toy."
"Well I'm a boy!" Aem nodded sagely. "But I can share!"
"Erm," I tried to improvise before Aeg gave me an elbow and whispered. "Bring her a sword next time, Gaem."
Well that was unexpected, I cursed. "I actually had two gifts! I have a toy sword for you as well Hela!"
"Really?" My little sister smiled brightly.
With that look, I will learn to widdle if I have to, "Of course!"
The 'adults' were making a good show of chuckling at the chatter of the royal brood but their expression had slowly become steadily less approving, so I opted to make a pivot.
"I brought you a present as well mother," I smiled brightly at the only adult trying to not visibly glare at Hela.
"Oh?" Mom smiled while the others took a cautionary step back as Clearsky reacted to my ire and landed atop the stables to glare down at the court.
"This is a selfish gift, mother but I felt like I should look after your health," I handed her a carefully aged book.
"Regarding Childbearing: How to Mitigates the Manifold Threats of the Birthing Bed?" Alicent read before her face lit up in amusement. "My little dear, I appreciate the gift my sweet boy, but I am not a maester."
I shook my head, "I have every respect for the abilities of the Grand Maester, this is a book meant for mothers and how they can mitigate the threats of pregnancy and better recover from passing during childbirth."
In truth I had mostly thought up the book with Arral over the last few months, mostly me 'remembering' things from my dreams and having him puzzle them out (I prided myself in knowing quite a bit on the subject, but I was not a doctor by any means) before writing them out in High Valyrian and aging the documents.
I was more than a little disturbed that Arral knew how to fabricate books as well as he did.
These old fools do not believe anything that does not look four centuries old! Sometimes a bit of creativity is needed to get their heads out of their arses!
I could not really fault him but still…
Alicent thumbed it over, her eyes scanning with the pace of a well-practiced book lover. I could not help but notice that they sped up when she started catching the Valyrian, paint it in freehold colors and the fangirl in her will go straight for it.
Mother might well have been a queen, but she was also a bookworm par excellence.
She looked up at me and smiled, "I take it that this is your way of asking for a new brother?"
"I do love Egg and Aem," I could not tell whether I was more disturbed by the words or the fact that they were earnest. "But this is mostly born from fear, I would not lose you to the birthing bed."
That got me a loving smile and a kiss on the brow.
I probably should not mention that I was hoping to get Daeron attached to Rhaenyra so that he will be a mitigating factor. You might take that the wrong way. Mushroom had been pretty clear that my younger siblings spent more time in my Rhae's orbit than mother might like but I wanted as many anchors as possible.
But hey if the same people are still being born then I might as well make sure they turn out right, right?
Still does not sound right for some reason.
I of course made a point having Clearsky trip Otto into a pile of manure as he made his way out of the stables to get a laugh out of my siblings and a suffocated chuckle from mother.
I refused to allow that prick to have any gravitas for my family.
…
I found Rhaenyra in her chambers near nightfall after escaping the hugging and contemplations of lighting the court (and Otto) on fire.
"Gaem!" She said enthusiastically as I entered her apartments.
"Rhae!" I ran up to hug her where she sat surrounded by her little court as was her habit. Half a year had been enough for the 'Realm's Delight' to start to really live up to her name.
A thought which really disturbed me.
"It is good to see you my little knight," She said as she returned my hug.
She did not look that great, I smothered a frown as I got a closer look at her face.
That killed my momentary confusion.
She looks freaking miserable. The signs were small, they had to be, given her station.
But it was unmistakable that the skin around her rings was slightly red, her eyes hinted at a lack of sleep covered by makeup and her smile was just a little forced.
In other words, she was miserable and vulnerable… great, just freaking great.
Speaking of miserable, Ser 'Not Dead Yet Because I Cannot Have Nice Things' Cole looked somewhere between mildly unhappy and 'kill-everything-within-one-hundred-miles' angry.
Nothing that dumping him in a pool of Candiru's naked could not fix, it would both be relaxing (for me to watch) and solve everyone's problems. Frankly, it was rather selfish of him not to.
"How was your journey?" Rhaenyra asked, dragging me back into reality.
I smiled up at her, "It would have been perfect if only Sky could carry me, I feared that I would not be here."
"Excited for the wedding?" her smile weakened for a moment.
I coughed, "Not exactly, Rhae. I merely wished to be at your side in these coming days."
I did not think she would be smiling if she realized that my agenda was going through every method I could think of to have her keep it in her proverbial pants until she could find some lover which would not trigger every alarm bell possible and get her pregnant with distinctly none-Valyrian children. That would send entirely the wrong message.
"My little knight," she stroked my head. I appreciated the sentiment, but it was disturbing for a man of almost forty years (if you count my original age in addition to the years I have spent here) to be petted this frequently.
"Do not worry sister! You will do fine, the loveliest bride ever seen in Westeros I am sure!" I smile up at her and decide to milk the good will of her little audience, I really hated the lack of privacy, but it could not be helped.
I signaled to Ebermen who hands me the little bundle he had under his arm. Rhae's own guard and Ser 'Soon to be Blood-Eagled if I get my way' Cole never took it well when they entered the apartments.
"I bring gifts of course!" I smiled at her. "You will forgive their simplicity, but I hope that they will be of use to you in the coming years."
Rhaenyra was noticeably less pleased with the small bundle of books than Alicent had been but still seemed appreciative, (almost) seven-years-old's were not exactly known for being able to provide gifts, much less lavish ones. In coming years, I would need some sort of income to buy proper gifts before my royal stipend kicked in.
"These are lovely, brother," She smiled at me indulgently.
I returned the smile but forced the issue a little. "Regarding Childbearing is a good work regarding how women may produce children while not sacrificing their youth nor their looks. It would pain me greatly to lose a sister to the birthing bed whenever that may be."
I knew that giving copies of my own work is more than a little pretentious, but I also knew that losing her looks due to childbirth did not exactly help her cause later on in life. I will not even begin to go into how sick that is, but I did not want her self-confidence wrecked. If what was in there could mitigate her rapid weight gain even a bit, it might help.
The Stranger was also a dick and I really, really did not want to bet against my Rhae suddenly dying from childbirth. It might save the Realm a civil war, but I never claimed to be a saint, unless she wanted my head I am keeping her alive damnit.
I went on a similar spiel about the other two books after that, my own little efforts at keeping my rear in one piece in the future. One was a work addressing Matrilineal marriage and the known cases where a family name was inherited from the mother rather than the father, chocolate babies or not, it did not help the Velaryon brothers that they did not even have the Targaryen name. The second work addressed the handful of cases in Westerosi history where a woman had ruled in her own right which chronicled their reigns and what marked the more successful rulers.
I hoped that they would be sufficient to cover my ass for the time being and maybe do a bit better a job at instructing Rhaenyra on how women could rule as opposed to Viserys's 'because I am king' style of leadership.
I did not stay long, I was tired from the trip and I would need beauty sleep for what was coming in the next few days.
After praying for Ser Criston to develop a fear of the dark and a severe case of Photodermatitis, I bid my fairwells and made my way out of her chambers.
Once we were safetly away from hearing distance I let out a deep breath.
As my guard gathered around me, I felt myself get sleepier. As much as I did not fully trust them, their continued presence and exposure to the tomb had made their presence more and more like a snug blanket. Omeld cleared his throat, "Word from lady Nessa, our people have been seen to, My Prince."
"Good, we are short on time," I tried to stifle a yawn. "I was away for far too long."
Ebermen shrugged, "It could not be helped."
"Maybe," I yawned and stretched. "But that just means that we need to get to work sooner."
"As you say." My bull noted. "Sleep will be needed then, fatigue and planning do not mix well."
"You are not wro-," I was interrupted when another party spotted me.
"Ah there you are Gaemon!" Laenor said as he approached me down the hall along with Rhaenys and Corlys.
Damn it people, this is not the time to be popular!