Title: Secretary
Rating: M
Genre: AU/All Human
Pairing(s): Bonnie/Elijah, mentions of past Elijah/Hayley, Vicki/Jeremy, Matt/Rebekah, Stefan/Elena, Bonnie/Luka (One-Sided), etc.
Trope/Prompt: Boss/Employee Relationship
Summary: Bonnie Bennett, a young woman with a history of severe emotional problems, finds work as a secretary for a rigid and demanding attorney, Elijah Mikaelson. Bonnie soon realizes she's turned on by Elijah's stern demeanor, and begins a sadomasochistic relationship with him. (Inspired by the movie Secretary)
Warnings: Sexual Content, Dark Fic, Explicit Sexual Content, Spanking, Dub-con, OOC-behaviors, Mentions of Suicide, Self-Harm, etc.
A gift for carnival-ofsouls!
A/N: Long time no see! Back at it again with another one. I know I update like every five years but literally thank ya'll for hanging in there with me. I love you dearly! So as I mentioned this will stray from the movie quite a bit but I really hope you continue to enjoy it. Please excuse the errors, no time to edit here! Happy reading!
Part Three|| Defiance
Bonnie Bennett had always been good at taking care of people. It had been the only thing that had kept her connected with those around her for as long as she could remember. People were less likely to leave you, if you shouldered their burdens for them.
It wasn't just about caretaking, however. It had also been a survival mechanism of sorts. Reading people, knowing what they expected from her and how to give it to them even if what they wanted wasn't always consistent or even vocalized. It was a precise science, reading others. It taught her more than the art of compliance, it taught her the art of becoming essential, even if that came with a weight as well. It taught her how to not get abandoned. It taught her how to keep her triggers minimal so that the tension that drove her to internalize her pain stayed at the minimum. It taught her how to hide that tension from others, because a part of appearing to be what they wanted was to keep up her own façade. It was the reason she'd been able to hide the scars both mental and physical for as long as she had. The reason that her breakdown had caused such a huge fracture in her relationships and how others treated her. No one had suspected the truth behind Bonnie's façade because no one ever saw Bonnie the way that she had made it a point of seeing others, and Bonnie had never prepared herself for the day her façade would be broken.
The problem with being the person that took care of others was that no one ever took care of Bonnie. She'd always been expected to take care of herself along with everyone else. To be the one that was needed but never needed anyone. She'd been imprisoned by that expectation her entire life, until she met Elijah Mikaelson and was finally able to free herself of it. To let go and allow someone else control. To go from the caregiver to the receiver, even if that care came from a beast whose claws dug deep into her skin no matter how gently or tightly, he embraced her.
Despite her initial confusion with the turn their relationship took shortly after starting her job as his secretary, it hadn't taken Bonnie long to figure out what Elijah wanted from her. To figure out beyond the spanking, the meaning behind the intensity of his stare, the twisting of his ring, the huffing out of breath, and the sometimes-manic outbursts when Bonnie was on the receiving end of attention from another man. Elijah desired her in a way that no one ever had before. In a way that, according to Klaus and Rebekah, he had never desired anyone else. She rattled him and there was power in that.
She could, with a look, a gesture, the tone of her voice, and the barest amount of acquiescence cause him to unravel. She was submissive but never powerless and that power was something that she had never felt before. Which was why she understood that while Elijah's desire for her was different than that he felt for others, what she wanted from him was different than what she had ever desired from anyone else.
Her compliance wasn't, with him, an act of survival or even due to fear of abandonment. It was another form of caretaking, only it was through her own choice. Only she got care in return, though not many would read it as that because no one could really read Bonnie, but Elijah could read her and read her well. Even the hidden things. Even the things she was just beginning to learn to read in herself. For the first time Bonnie got as good as she gave from someone and that feeling began to stir something inside of her.
Because she could read him Bonnie understood that Elijah didn't desire blind obedience. There was an art to it. Being submissive. The same way that there was an art to reading others. She learned to be not just observant but decisive. She had to be confident in her choices. She had to be trusting as well. It had always been hard for her to trust, but Elijah, in his poise even in her undoing of him, made it easy for her to give herself over to him. Trust that he wasn't a real danger to her, that he wouldn't hurt her in a way that she didn't consent to and believe that he would, if she placed a boundary up, respect it. As terrifying as it was to trust, that was a freedom he gave her as well.
He had, even in her ignorance, with their first encounter given her a safe phrase. A way out. One that he reminded her of, each time she stepped into his office and locked the door behind her.
She was vulnerable with each encounter, but he was as well. Showing her a side of himself that brought him shame. A side that not many, outside of his immediate family had seen. Putting trust in Bonnie as well. Giving into his base desires and opening himself up to potential criticism and rejection. The thing about it was, the more that he revealed to her, the deeper she fell. The more he exposed himself to her, the more that Bonnie wanted to experience.
Bonnie loved that he didn't handle her with kid gloves. That he had never once looked at her with pity. That he saw her as someone that could handle what he would consider to be the worst parts of himself after he'd discovered the worst parts of her. She loved that he took his cues from her during their interactions together. Though, it was something unsaid and she wasn't sure if it was always intentional or if the control that he gave was subconscious. A part of the shame. A part of the fight. A part of the repression. Perhaps it was a bit of all those things. He always toed the line until she provoked him into crossing it. Teasing her and testing her limits but never crossing them without her express consent in the form of a, "Yes, sir."
It was a tantalizing thing. Being the one to push, to pull back, and to guide him even as the orders slipped from his tongue, he followed her lead without expressing the surrender of his own control. In showing her his monster, Elijah had begun to foster Bonnie's own. And that monster, like Elijah's, was a possessive creature.
The day after Elijah finally broke and kissed her Bonnie came into the office early. Elijah was not just a beast of desire but also one of repression and Bonnie had come in prepared to counteract the pushback she was sure that she would receive upon greeting her boss.
They had been edging around things and so she couldn't call what they had a relationship, precisely. They didn't spend much time together outside of the office. Elijah's walls were still up in many ways. However, they were well beyond the labels of employer and employee. Had long bypassed the realm of friendship and it was clear that he wanted her and didn't want her with anyone else. Still Bonnie wanted something more definitive. More concrete than silent communication, silent agreement, and overt acts of possessiveness and repressed sexuality.
She was his. It was a choice she had made after that first spanking. Perhaps before that. In their first moments together. One that she affirmed each time he asked her who she was, and she responded, "I'm your secretary."
He'd claimed her. Even if it had taken her longer to give herself over to him, he would've kept going until he got what he wanted from her. Until she was his. Elijah had made that clear, even if he was hesitant to fully act on it. Belonging to someone was a gift in a world where she was accustomed to being undesired and left behind.
But even with her submissiveness, he was hers as well. Bonnie had garnered as much without it being vocalized. It was in every look. Every breath. Every tick. It was in the way he watched her because he was always watching, However, she was looking for the affirmation. She needed it.
Elijah, she knew, was too in denial, too obsessed with staying in control, and too caught up in shame that Bonnie didn't feel and that didn't keep him from acting out what they both wanted, to give her affirmation readily. To get it, Bonnie knew she would have to provoke Elijah further which meant exercising her autonomy in the other direction, not just with her choice to submit, but in her defiance as well.
While she was more than willing to submit and give him the control that he desired and that she needed him to take, it also took trust to defy. Just as much observation. Just as much calculation. Just as much decisiveness. Just as much willingness to let go. Just as much assurance that no matter how far that she went, Elijah wouldn't harm her, wouldn't take things farther than she desired when the beast surfaced to put her beast back on its leash.
She was taking the defiance slowly. Her beast was an animal but unlike Elijah's in the face of her own, it was anything but reckless. She had begun to toe the line and that morning was no different.
She continued her small acts of insolence disguised as obedience. She wore her hair half up half down. She wore a sheer lace green blouse, that though edged the line of inappropriate was still work attire and Elijah's favorite color, even though it showed more skin than he liked her to show when it wasn't just the two of them in the office. She opted for thigh highs instead of pantyhose. The change giving an unobscured view of her legs when her skirt shifted when she moved. For once Bonnie wasn't ashamed of her scars because she had new ones, carpet burns and nail imprints that she wore like badges of honor. Enough compliance to appease, and enough defiance to provoke.
The office supplies that normally got delivered every two weeks came in and Bonnie very deliberately dumped out all the Wite-out Elijah had her order to correct the typing errors when she used the typewriter before restocking the supply closet even knowing what would happen when she told him that the items from the order had once again been misplaced. She finished organizing the files that their extracurricular activities had kept her from getting to the day before. She watered the new potted plants she'd bought for the front office and returned the missed calls that had come in overnight. By the time Elijah got into the office Bonnie already had coffee brewing.
His paralegal was with him, Pearl Zhu. She'd been working with him even while he'd been married to Hayley Marshall. She was poised and pristine. Stoic, but not as intimidating as she wanted to be perceived. A single mother with a daughter a year older than Bonnie. She also worked part time at a firm a few towns over. She came in on rare occasions but the way she looked at Bonnie made her suspicious that Pearl knew just enough about the goings on behind Elijah's office door when Bonnie was called in, to make Bonnie anxious. Bonnie was also observant enough to sniff out Pearl's own interest in Elijah. Though, the woman never kept it a secret.
Bonnie wasn't threatened by the woman. Not really. Pearl's obvious longing meant she and Elijah had never crossed the line and Pearl was too much like Elijah to be able to give him what he desired. She craved control too much in her own right to readily give it over. The problem she had with Pearl was the liberties she took when it came to Elijah. The woman may not have been his usual type, but she wasn't above trying her hand and she did so frequently. Like he demanded of Bonnie when it came to other men, Elijah never responded to Pearl's flirting in kind or reacted to it at all really. However, he never discouraged it either. Then again, Bonnie had never asked him to.
Instead of talking business as they normally did with a few of Pearl's vain attempts at courting thrown in, Bonnie was subjected to the tail end of a conversation about herself. One that, Bonnie doubted very much that Pearl would have initiated if she'd known that Bonnie would be in the office early.
"I just think that you could use someone that has more legal experience and more practical office experience out front," Pearl was saying as Bonnie left the kitchen, "I mean the girl has been here for quite a while now and still can't manage to listen to you dictate a letter without making typos."
Bonnie bit back a laugh as Elijah coughed loudly. "While your concern is noted, I can't say that I agree with you. Nor would the clientele that have sung her praises since her arrival. In fact, I don't at all appreciate the way that you speak of Ms. Bennett," he said, "You'd do well to watch what you say about her in my company. She's far more reliable than any of her predecessors, far more competent than you give her credit for, and has served me far better than anyone before and I venture to guess anyone after her would."
Bonnie beamed at the praise, even if Elijah wasn't aware of her presence yet.
"I apologize for overstepping," Pearl said, "I just assumed that you'd be open to... other possibilities." The innuendo in her tone was clear and as Pearl had been around for Hayley's stint as well, Bonnie wondered, not for the first time, just how much the woman really knew about Elijah's preferences.
Bonnie rolled her eyes as she began to walk toward the sound of their voices. If this had been a few weeks ago, she would have tried to make herself smaller. She would have put her own discomfort aside and pretend that she hadn't overheard anything. However, she knew now, thanks to Elijah, how to leave things unsaid and say them outright all at once. How to play innocent even while showing her own claws that were slowly digging deeper into his skin.
She smiled as she made herself known, walking up to the front door. "Good morning," Bonnie said, keeping her tone pleasant. Bonnie moved to help Elijah out of his coat, deliberately brushing up against him as she did so. As she hung the coat on the coat rack, she did not miss the way that his brown eyes scanned her body.
"Good morning, Ms. Bennett," he said, "Your attire today seems a bit…" A weighted pause as he swallowed, "Different than usual."
"Do you like it, sir?" Bonnie asked one eyebrow raised. "I know that green is your favorite color."
A clearing of the throat. "It is. You look lovely. Though, I do believe a few pieces may be more suited for another time."
Another time, as in when they were alone, went unsaid. Bonnie questioned him just the same. "Another time, meaning…?"
Elijah's eyes narrowed. "You're a smart woman, Miss Bennett," he said, calmly even as his hand trembled at his side. "I'm sure you can figure it out."
"I just wanted a bit of clarification, sir," Bonnie said, stepping towards him, "You know how lost I am without your guidance. Hopeless, really."
Elijah inhaled sharply. Swallowed. Bonnie bit her lip, remembering the feel of his lips on hers, the feel of his teeth nipping just short of too hard.
Pearl cleared her throat and Bonnie was gratified when Elijah's eyes stayed on Bonnie. "It's a good thing that you take so well to direction," he said, to Bonnie, though there was clearly a message to Pearl in his words as well, "By understanding the value of listening to what you are told you're not nearly as hopeless as some would believe you are."
"Yes, sir," Bonnie murmured lowly, before her gaze shifted and her eyes landed on Pearl. "I suppose it's a point in my favor," she said, "Perhaps you'll reconsider looking for my replacement just yet."
Bonnie watched as Pearl's lips pinched into a thin line before Elijah grabbed Bonnie by the chin and turned her head until she was facing him once more. "Miss Bennett," he murmured, "I believe you're well aware that I'm very pleased with your performance and have no intention of finding a replacement for you now or in the future."
Bonnie shivered at the intensity of his stare. "I had hoped so, sir," she said, looking up at him through her lashes, "I'm glad to find I wasn't wrong. But please don't ever be afraid to provide me with a little redirection when you see fit. I do want my position to remain secure. You know how I hate to displease you."
Bonnie held her breath as Elijah's fingertips trailed down her neck. "As I said, your position is secure," he said, keeping his eyes on Bonnie even as he addressed Pearl. "You're in no danger of being replaced. I may, however, need a new paralegal soon. One that isn't so opinionated regarding my other employees. One more focused on doing their job."
Bonnie blinked at him, eyes wide and filled with mock confusion. "What exactly does a paralegal do anyway, Mr. Mikaelson?"
Elijah's lips twitched, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "Perhaps Ms. Zhu will enlighten you if she ever decides to get to work today."
There was a huff and then Pearl hung up her own coat and walked away in the direction of the library where the desk she used when she was in the office was held.
Elijah squeezed Bonnie's neck, regaining her attention. "You've had your fun and you have my attention now, so, I suggest you behave."
Bonnie frowned. "Is that what you think I want," Bonnie asked, "Attention, sir?"
Elijah took a step forward and then another until Bonnie found herself backed up against the front door. "No," he said, his hands still at her throat, "I think you're acting out because Ms. Zhu does want my attention. Do you remember what I asked you yesterday?"
Bonnie bit her lip again as she thought of the kiss they'd shared. "If I thought that there was anyone that could give me what you give me, sir." Bonnie answered.
"Do you think that there's anyone that can give me what you give me, Bonnie?" He asked, and Bonnie felt herself melt at the sound of her name from his lips.
"No, sir," Bonnie said, firmly, confidently.
Elijah's bandaged hand came up to cup her cheek and Bonnie had no further warning before Elijah kissed her hard, pinning her wrists above her head with his other hand. "Precisely," he whispered against her lips before pulling away. He let her wrists go and adjusted his tie. "Now, be a good girl and bring me my coffee."
It was as close to affirmation as Bonnie would get with Pearl also in the office. Elijah was acknowledging what had happened the day before. He'd called her by her name. He'd kissed her. It wasn't exactly labeling their relationship, but it was enough for Bonnie to tend to the task.
She got him his coffee. Black. Two sugars. No cream. And she managed to behave until close to lunch time.
Elijah had a meeting with Mayor Lockwood right before lunch. Richard Lockwood had entered the office with his wife Carol on his arm. He'd barked at the woman to sit down in the waiting area and followed Elijah back to his office.
Elijah's client list had grown since Bonnie first started and so chairs had been added to the waiting area, some of which were now in front of Bonnie's desk. Carol sat herself in one such chair and after greeting Bonnie, she preoccupied herself with an article on her cell phone the way she normally did on the times she joined her husband on one of his meetings with Elijah.
Nothing was amiss until Hayley Marshall came into the office and sat herself next to Carol. Bonnie glowered as her last interaction with the woman had been less than pleasant.
"Hello Carol," Hayley said, sweetly, "Nice to see you as usual."
Carol Lockwood's eyes didn't move from her phone. "Ms. Marshall." She greeted, dryly.
Hayley turned to Bonnie and scowled. "Is he in?" She snapped, not bothering to greet Bonnie.
Bonnie stared blankly back. "He's in a meeting with Mayor Lockwood which I'm sure you've guessed," Bonnie said, "His calendar is full today and as you're not on it, I suggest you leave a message or make an appointment."
Hayley rolled her eyes. "I'll wait."
Bonnie felt the familiar agitation return. She wondered if Elijah had still yet to sign the divorce settlement. They'd never talked about Hayley outside of the day the spanking began. Bonnie was unsettled at the thought of Elijah kissing her and laying claim to her while being married to someone else on paper.
Bonnie took a deep breath before she spoke. "As someone formerly under his employ I'm sure you're aware of how difficult it is for Mr. Mikaelson to take additional time for unscheduled meetings. Even if you were to wait, the chances of seeing him without an appointment are slim. Especially, if there isn't a cancelation."
Elijah's voice came over the intercom a moment later as if to prove her point. "Miss Bennett," he said, "My meeting with Mayor Lockwood will be running later than expected. Please order lunch for us and Carol. Mystic Grill is fine. You and I will have our usual. Richard asked that the same be communicated to Carol. Their usual."
"Yes, sir." Bonnie answered, and the intercom went dead. Her eyes landed on Hayley. "As you can see, his schedule is filled today," Bonnie repeated, "So if you'd like to make that appointment now, I can check the calendar."
"I'm sure he'll make time for me," Hayley replied, her tone so sure and final that Bonnie winced.
"Right," Bonnie muttered, trying not to let her irritation show, "I'll pencil you in if we have a cancelation." Bonnie ignored Hayley's smug expression and instead turned to Carol Lockwood. "Mrs. Lockwood, could you please confirm your lunch order for me?"
Carol looked up from her phone, glanced at Hayley and then smiled at Bonnie sympathetically. Bonnie felt her agitation grow. "I'll have a Caesar salad, dear and a Turkey club for Richard, with a side of fries."
Bonnie nodded and picked up the phone to put in the order but stopped at the sound of Hayley's voice. "I see he's found someone nice and obedient to run the front," she said, "I'm sure he must be over the moon to finally have someone at his beck and call. Though, as someone who used to be under his employ, as you put it, I know to treat potential clients a bit better than you've been treating me."
Bonnie set the phone down and smiled. Determined not to take the bait, and start a confrontation, even as her beast sharpened its claws and began to calculate anew. "I've forgotten myself," she said, "Would you like anything while you wait? Something to drink? Water? Tea perhaps?"
"Not just at Elijah's beck and call then," Hayley smirked, "Very well, since you insist on embarrassing yourself further. I'll take tea."
Bonnie nodded, unphased. "Green or black?"
Hayley rolled her eyes. "Black, decaf if you have it. And light on the sugar."
Again, Bonnie nodded. She kept her seat even as Hayley watched her expectantly and instead of heading towards the kitchen Bonnie pressed the button for the intercom. "Mr. Mikaelson," she said, sweetly.
"I also know better than to interrupt a meeting with him and the mayor," Hayley laughed, and Bonnie ignored her as she waited for the response.
"Yes," Elijah's voice came on the line, "Is there a timeframe on the order?"
"Not yet, sir," Bonnie answered calmly.
"Then why," a pause, "May I ask are you disrupting my meeting?"
Bonnie watched as Hayley looked smug, but she saw the woman also shifted uneasily at Elijah's tone. The tone had an opposite effect on Bonnie, and she was unbothered as she continued to rouse him. "I'm cold, sir."
Carol looked up from her phone again at Bonnie's words and raised an eyebrow. She was well familiar with Elijah's temperamental ways as he'd work with her husband for some time. She'd also seen as not just Hayley but those that had come before Bonnie had been on the receiving end of that temper. She had even warned Bonnie of as much after finding out she'd gotten the position weeks back. Bonnie was sure the woman was confused by her own sure to be gleeful expression.
There was silence on the line and Bonnie waited for the storm that she knew would come. "Just a moment."
"Of course, sir." Bonnie replied.
She continued to staple the stacks of paper on her desk and wasn't at all surprised when the door to Elijah's office slammed open. He was fuming towards her desk a moment later.
When Elijah's hand slammed down onto her desktop Bonnie jumped, biting her lip to hide her excitement. "Please tell me that I heard you wrong and you didn't just disrupt my meeting with the mayor to inform me that you're cold, Miss Bennett. Have you lost your faculties in the span of a few minutes or are you just in a mood to test my patience today?"
Bonnie observed him calmly and shifted slightly in her chair. Crossing her legs slowly, she watched as Elijah's eyes lowered and followed the movement. "You asked me not to touch the thermostat and I didn't want to upset you, sir."
"You're right about the former but failed at the latter," Elijah scowled, even as he leaned into Bonnie's space, "It's best we keep the temperature regulated for the plants. Especially, the orchids. You'll simply have to deal with the chill. Given your attire I'm not at all surprised you're cold. It's not the first time that your behavior has caused problems for us both."
Her body tensed and Bonnie gripped the edge of the desk to curb her reaction to the beratement. "Of course, you're right, sir," Bonnie agreed readily, "That's why I need you to guide me, sir."
Elijah cleared his throat, his anger deflating at the low sultry tone of her voice. "Yes, well, you were right to not touch the thermostat and perhaps I let my temper get the better of me." He reached out and covered one of the hands Bonnie gripped the desk with, with his own. "I'm sure you've learned your lesson to be more conscious regarding your attire in the future, at least in part. We'll have to have a discussion regarding appropriate workplace attire when we don't have such important clients in the office. Wouldn't you agree?"
"Of course, sir," Bonnie said readily. The beast inside of her purred.
"In the meantime, a cup of hot chocolate or perhaps tea should warm you." Elijah offered, his desire to take care of her warring with his displeasure as she knew it would.
"You're right," Bonnie beamed, "Tea, I think. Though, maybe a bit less sugar than usual. I get a slice of cake, with lunch, remember?"
"I'm aware," Elijah said blandly, though his lips twitched slightly, "Green or black?"
"Black, decaf," Bonnie said, glancing at Hayley over Elijah's shoulder, before continuing coyly, "I should probably get it myself though, you wouldn't want to keep the mayor waiting."
"The damage is already done," Elijah sighed, "Besides, you still have lunch to order. That's one task I'm sure you can manage on your own?"
"Yes, sir." Bonnie picked up the phone and began to dial.
A nod and then Elijah disappeared into the kitchen.
Bonnie quickly placed their orders and made small talk with Vicki over the phone until Elijah returned and set a mug on her desk. Bonnie smiled as she hung up the phone. "Thank you, sir," she said, "You take such good care of me."
Bonnie watched as he flexed his fingers. "You clearly can't be trusted to do it yourself," Elijah responded, and then, "Do not disturb us again until lunch arrives."
"Yes, sir," Bonnie leaned forward in her chair, and then, "but while I have you, Ms. Marshall is here to see you. I told her that your calendar is full, but she insisted on waiting."
Frowning Elijah looked in the direction that Bonnie gestured in, and it was clear he hadn't noticed Hayley there before that moment. "I signed the settlement some time ago," he said, "I can't imagine what we'd have left to discuss."
Bonnie's smile widened as she'd gotten confirmation of another thing that she'd been apprehensive about and unsure of.
Hayley stared for a moment and then frowned. "I have a few more matters I'd like to settle with you."
"Then I suggest you make an appointment with Bonnie, and when my schedule allows, we can discuss your unfinished business as I have none. As Bonnie stated, my schedule is full," he said. He turned back to Bonnie. "No more disruptions," he ordered.
"Yes, sir. Not to worry. I'll be on my best behavior, sir." Bonnie grinned as Elijah twisted his ring in a familiar gesture.
"Good gi…work," a pause, and glance over his shoulder, "See that you keep it up and let us know when lunch arrives."
"Yes, sir," Bonnie nodded, not missing the near slip.
Elijah gave her one last warning in the form of a onceover before stepping away and moving back towards his office.
When Bonnie heard the door close behind Elijah she turned back to Hayley. She pushed the mug towards the edge of her desk. "There you are, Ms. Marshall," she said, "Tea. Black. Decaf. Light on the sugar. Can I get you anything else?"
Hayley eyed her with something between resentment and respect. Bonnie was glad for it. Glad to see the ties between the woman and Elijah be cut even further. Glad that she had knocked the woman down a peg. "No, thank you," Hayley muttered, as she stood and picked up the mug from the desk.
Bonnie shrugged, her professional mask in place. "Now, if you'd like to make an appointment, I'd be happy to check Mr. Mikaelson's calendar."
Hayley took a sip of tea. "I'm not sure it'd do any good," she said, "He's clearly a bit busier than I suspected. I doubt very much he'll be able to make time for me any time soon." Another sip of tea. "Perhaps you're not as compliant as I initially thought."
"But I am," Bonnie countered, deliberately leaning forward until she pressed the intercom button, even though Elijah had requested to not be disturbed further. "For Mr. Mikaelson, I yield willingly and rather happily. I'm his secretary, after all. The point of confusion for you, Ms. Marshall, if I may be so bold as to say, as the current secretary to the former, is that one can be agreeable without being completely without power. As temperamental as he may be, Mr. Mikaelson is a wonderful boss and wishes for those under his employ not to wither, but to flourish, as I have."
Hayley's hands shook slightly, and Bonnie watched a range of emotions play across her face. "I'm starting to understand the distinction, I think," she said, for once her tone not laced with sarcasm or malice, "I was never right for this position, but you seem to be the perfect fit. You've even cleared up my unfinished business for me. No need to check the calendar."
Bonnie nodded. "Feel free to finish your tea."
"Thank you, but... it wasn't meant for me." Hayley set the cup back down on Bonnie's desk. "Take care of him," she said sounding surprisingly vulnerable.
Bonnie met her eyes and understood without being told that this would be the last that she or Elijah would ever see of Hayley Marshall. "It will be my pleasure." Bonnie smiled.
Hayley gave a watery smile in return and left the way she came.
Bonnie watched her go before turning back to the intercom. "Apologies for the disturbance, Mr. Mikaelson," she said, "I seem to have been leaning on the intercom. I promised to behave, and it would seem I've gone back on my word."
Bonnie waited for his response with bated breath, wondering if she had taken too many risks that morning. A moment later her stomach settled as his voice came over the speaker. "I'll show some leniency just this once, Miss Bennett," he said, the affection in his tone making Bonnie melt just a bit, "But do try not to test my patience further."
"I wouldn't dream of it, sir," Bonnie said, before letting go of the button and turning back to Carol Lockwood. "Sorry for the disturbance, Mrs. Lockwood."
Carol didn't bother to hide her amusement. "No worries, sweetheart. She was clearly trying to get under your skin. You handled it beautifully. Acquiescent but not powerless, very well put, my dear."
Bonnie didn't bother hiding her surprise. "Thank you, Mrs. Lockwood."
"Call me Carol," Carol smirked, and then, "You know, when Richard and I met, I was his secretary too." There was something in Carol's tone that gave Bonnie pause.
Bonnie's eyes widened and she mentally recounted each of the mayor's interactions with his wife. Recounted how calmly Carol had sat the many times she'd witnessed Bonnie be on the other side of Elijah's temper. She laughed a little to herself as something clicked in her mind and she realized just why Richard Lockwood was not only a loyal client but rather fond of Elijah when he wasn't at all fond of anyone.
"Well, Carol," Bonnie laughed, "This has been a rather interesting morning, and enlightening to say the least."
Carol laughed as well. "Indeed, it has," she said, and then, "A friend of mine is giving a reading at Whitmore on Saturday, I think you'd be very interested. I'll send you the information."
Bonnie thanked her, not having to guess at the likely topic. Yet, another way that Elijah had made her feel less alone. Even with her own claws being out all morning he still placed Bonnie above all others. And now, her dear sweet monster, had inadvertently led her to someone kindred.
:::
Bonnie hadn't been to Whitmore since leaving the center. While her Grams still taught there, now that Bonnie was working full time herself, she had less time to visit. Even on trips she went on before being sent to the center and after her own college stint, it had been mostly picking up her Grams on nights that students or faculty had talked Sheila Bennett into going out to a campus bar after classes and Bonnie had to act as the designated driver.
It was nice being on campus, without the burden of responsibility to anyone else. Without having to hold her head down and search for her Grams, inebriated, slumped over the bar somewhere. Instead, Bonnie was able to hold her head up high as she made her way to the campus bookstore.
Carol Lockwood's friend turned out to not be a friend at all but the woman's therapist, Camille O'Connell. Camille specialized in Human Sexuality, Gender Identity, and Relationships. She had recently written a book entitled, The Pleasures of Pain, and was doing a reading and signing at Whitmore.
Bonnie joined the small crowd in the small bookshop, sitting herself in the backrow. As she looked around, she wasn't surprised not to see any familiar faces, Carol Lockwood included. The mayor's wife was too much of a public figure to be seen at the reading, she had already taken enough of a chance even hinting at her and her husband's personal inclinations to Bonnie. Bonnie herself was relieved not to see anyone that she knew. Not that she was ashamed of the things that Elijah had unearthed in her, but she wanted to keep their world between herself in Elijah until he could manage his own shame enough to name what was between them.
Still, Bonnie was grateful for the invitation even without the expected company as she soon became enthralled as Camille began to speak. As Bonnie listened to the woman, she felt seen and heard completely by someone for the first time since meeting Elijah. "Most people think that the best way to live is to run from pain. But a much more joyful life embraces the entire spectrum of human feeling. If we can fully experience pain as well as pleasure, we can live a much deeper and more meaningful life."
When it was over Bonnie purchased Camille's book and stood in line to get it signed. When she approached the front of the line she smiled at Camille as she gave the woman her book to sign.
"Thank you so much," Bonnie said, "I'm still new to navigating this part of myself and I haven't heard anyone put so many of my feelings into words since meeting..." Bonnie trailed off not sure what to call Elijah. Mr. Mikaelson? Her boss? The lawyer she worked for? Her partner? He had many names for her. Bonnie. Miss Bennett. Good girl. His secretary. What they had had no name. No definition. As secure as she was in his feelings for her and hers for him, because of his shame and his repression even as he was beginning to let go, what they shared felt as if it lacked permanence.
Bonnie bit her lip as she watched Camille sign her book. "Can I ask you something that you didn't cover during your reading?" Bonnie asked.
Camille stopped writing as she looked up. "Of course."
"You mentioned things like negotiations, and written, spoken, and unspoken contracts and the like," Bonnie murmured, "but I am having trouble with defining things in the broader sense of my relationship. How do I approach the subject?" Bonnie thought about the things that Elijah was awakening within her and felt even more unsure. She knew what she wanted to be to him, to be for him, but there didn't seem to be a word strong enough to describe what she felt for Elijah. "Even if I figure out how to bring it up, how do you define something that feels so undefinable."
Camille looked thoughtful before she spoke. "Because these practices require complete consent and full trust, having the trust should make you feel free to bring up any matter you wish to discuss with your partner. If the trust is absent-"
"It's there," Bonnie said confidently, "I trust him completely, more than I have ever trusted anyone. I've just...this is all a bit new, and I have my own individual fears and hangups about being abandoned that keep me from wanting to push. I'm also not used to asking for what I want. But I'd like to try."
"Then you should," Camille smiled, "Especially if the trust is there." Bonnie watched as Camille slipped her business card into Bonnie's book. "As for the individual issues, as a therapist, I'm always seeking new clients. If you're interested, give me a call."
Bonnie nodded and took the book as Camille held it out to her. "I will."
"One final piece of advice," Camille said, "Perhaps for now the focus should be on experiencing rather than defining. On learning yourself and your boundaries. Learning the same in your partner. The rest, what you are to one another, and your wants and needs will become clearer over time."
"Thank you," Bonnie smiled, feeling empowered as she hugged the book to her chest.
Bonnie left the bookshop, slipping the book into her purse. She made the drive back to Mystic Falls. She ended up at Mystic Grill where she found a table off in a corner, ordered a hot chocolate, took out the book, and began to read.
Bonnie became so preoccupied with the reading that she lost track of time and was surprised to see that it had grown dark outside when she next looked up as a familiar face approached her table, Luka Martin.
Bonnie hadn't seen Luka since high school. They had become friends during her junior year when his family had moved to Mystic Falls from New Orleans once his father, Jonas, had gotten a job in the Holistic Medicine department at Mystic Falls Hospital. He had been smooth and confident and Bonnie had envied his sureness of self from the moment that they met.
They never dated but Luka had been interested in her. She'd lost her virginity to him, because he was safe, and Bonnie had been ready to get the milestone over with. It had been awkward and underwhelming, but it had been before Bonnie had known that she had wanted something other than gentle touches and soft lights. Nothing had come of it afterwards. After they graduated high school, Luka went back to New Orleans to go to college and Bonnie hadn't seen him since.
Luka looked much as she remembered. Handsome, with the boy next door kind of charm, the perfect white smile reaching his deep brown eyes as he looked down at Bonnie. "Hello, Bonnie. Long time no see," he said, "Can I join you?"
Bonnie nodded, smiling openly as she placed her book back into her bag. Bonnie wasn't particularly interested in Luka, but she had always hated eating alone and she realized she'd been reading long enough for food to be a necessity. She figured there would be no harm in catching up with an old classmate.
They ordered food and Bonnie noted as she and Luka conversed softly that while she was more confident than he remembered, Luka was much more subdued and reserved than she remembered.
"You're different than you were in high school," Bonnie commented.
Luka smiled demurely. "College was rougher than I thought," he said, "I went through a lot of depressive episodes in search of perfection. Never found it though. I couldn't not change after that."
Bonnie grinned. "So, you had a nervous breakdown," she said.
Luka nodded, poking at the food on his plate. "Something like that."
"So did I," Bonnie said.
"So, I heard," Luka grinned, "You seem better now than before, though. Confident and I don't know, lighter somehow."
Bonnie smiled. "I feel lighter," Bonnie said, "Freer than before. Hopeful for the future." Bonnie thought about the conversation that she'd had with Vicki upon leaving the center. "I have a good job now. I enjoy what I do. My boss is a good man. Firm, poised, and he understands me. I feel like I'm finally finding myself, you know. I'm figuring out what I want and how to express it."
"That's good," Luka smiled in turn, "I've been doing landscaping since I got back to Virginia. Not exactly what I thought I'd be doing but it's calming you know. I get to work with my hands. Watch things grow. Make people happy."
"That's great Luka," Bonnie said, genuinely happy that someone who had also had a hard time had finally found some measure of peace.
Luka took a sip of his water and then asked the question that Bonnie had been expecting but had hoped he would shy away from. "What about love? Are you seeing anyone?"
Bonnie bit her lip trying to think of how to put what she shared with Elijah in words. "I'm not sure I'd call it that," she said, "But, I found someone who matches my crazy."
Luka looked disappointed for a moment but recovered quickly. "That's what's important in a relationship," he said, "Compatibility."
Bonnie beamed, thinking of Elijah. "In a relationship," she repeated, "I guess you're right."
:::
In the two weeks that followed, Bonnie finished reading Camille's book. Elijah's hand heeled. Bonnie made it a habit to take her lunch with Carol Lockwood anytime Mayor Lockwood had an appointment. She continued to ingratiate herself to the rest of the Mikaelson's and kept up her calculated acts of defiance. The problem was, no matter how she acted, Elijah refused to react. She could still feel his eyes on her. Still see the ticks and hear the quick inhalations of breath. But the spanking stopped. The kissing stopped. They had made so much progress only to be suddenly at a standstill. Bonnie had no idea what had happened and for once didn't immediately attribute it to something that she had done.
If not for the looks that he still gave her, Bonnie might have thought that his interest was waning. But she was at a loss, and though she knew that perhaps Elijah's siblings would have some insight, she also knew that they would likely go straight to him were she to go to one of them. So, that left her one option, Camille. The woman's book had not only given Bonnie a greater understanding of who she was and what she desired; it'd also made Bonnie feel less alone. Therefore, it only made sense to Bonnie to seek her out.
The woman had given Bonnie her business card but, with the popularity of Camille's book, the chances of Bonnie getting an available appointment at her office were slim. However, she discovered that the woman was still teaching and lecturing at Whitmore until the next leg of her book tour and so Bonnie figured she could potentially corner her after one of her classes.
"Are you sure you want to change therapists?" Sheila asked, when Bonnie asked to commute with her on her next trip to Whitmore, "You've been doing so well since the center and Camille doesn't exactly specialize in the same aspects of mental health as your current therapist."
Bonnie sighed. She had been seeing her therapist less and less since leaving the center, but she had no intention of leaving her current doctor behind. She calmly looked her grandmother in the eye and placed Camille's book onto the tabletop between them. "I know exactly what she specializes in," Bonnie said, "While I won't be switching doctor's and have no intention of leaving therapy, I have a specific issue that Camille would give invaluable insight into at the moment."
Sheila had looked startled a moment before agreeing to take Bonnie up to Whitmore. The ride was mostly silent, the uncomfortably weighted kind. Finally, Sheila spoke. "This person that you have these questions about," she said, carefully, "Have they harmed you in any way? Has anything happened that you're not comfortable with?"
Bonnie shook her head firmly. "No," Bonnie said, confidently, "I was confused about how I felt at first. Confused about what we were to one another, but I've never felt uncomfortable. In fact, this is the first time I've felt completely comfortable in my own skin. I don't have to feel like I have to protect myself or everyone else from the way I feel and the way I am. I feel safe enough to feel everything, even the dark parts. We're still figuring things out, but I trust that my boundaries will be respected when they're given and feel safer than I've ever felt."
Sheila nodded. They were silent again until they reached the campus. Bonnie moved to get out of the car, but Sheila grabbed her arm. "You know there's a long history of expressing love through pain," Sheila murmured, "Through suffering. Not just within the occult but in more traditional and mainstream religious practices. In Catholicism the monks used to wear thorns on their temples. Nuns wore them sewn into their clothing. Who's to say that love needs to be soft and gentle?"
Bonnie gave her a watery smile and wrapped her arms around her grandmother who hugged her in turn. "Thanks, Grams."
"You seem to be a lot happier since you started working for, Mr. Mikaelson," Shiela said as she pulled back, "I would love to get to know him better. Perhaps you should invite him over for dinner sometime."
Bonnie nodded in agreement, not surprised the woman had made the connection. There weren't many people in Bonnie's social circle at present and so she knew that given time her grandmother would put things together. Bonnie was relieved in a way. She wasn't used to being so open about herself, her needs, and her desires with others outside of Elijah just yet and this would give her some practice. Even with Elijah, there was so much left unsaid.
Once Bonnie left the car and made her way onto campus, she wasn't all that surprised to run into Elena Gilbert. Elena was going for her graduate degree in English and attempting to write her own novel and so she spent most of her time outside of socializing and the time she spent with her boyfriend, Stefan Salvatore, at Whitmore.
They hadn't talked since Bonnie's party after coming home from the center. The girl eyed Bonnie with wide eyes and an uneasy smile as she took in Bonnie's appearance. Bonnie supposed, she looked much changed since the last time that Bonnie had seen her.
They made small talk and Bonnie moved to politely make her excuses so that she could make it in time to catch Camille when Elena stopped her. "I saw you with Luka the other day," she said, "You two were always cute together. Things seem to be going really well for you right now. With your family and with the new job. Have you been thinking about dating?"
Bonnie frowned. "Maybe," she smiled to herself and then, "But not Luka."
Elena frowned. "Why not? I mean, he's so sweet and handsome. He's no Stefan but he's pretty close."
Bonnie fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Luka is great," Bonnie said, "But not my type. Neither is Stefan for that matter."
Elena's eyebrows furrowed. "What is that supposed to mean?"
Bonnie shook her head. "Nothing bad," she said, "Just that Stefan is what's right for you. But I know what's right for me. Not everyone likes sonnets, soft lights, and romance novel stares. We all have our own tastes. I'm starting to figure out mine and it's definitely not anything I can get with Luka."
Elena looked almost offended, and Bonnie was proud of herself for not immediately trying to appease her feelings. For feeling free to express herself regardless of what Elena thought. "Right," Elena said, "So are you here to see your, Grams."
Bonnie shook her head. "I read an interesting book recently and I had a few questions for one of the professors," Bonnie said, "I should get going."
Elena gave her another forced smile. "Of course," she said, "I don't want to hold you up. Call me sometime, we'll do lunch."
Bonnie didn't bother responding to the invitation as she knew it would likely never come to fruition. She gave a nod and took her leave.
Bonnie headed in the direction of the building that housed the Department of Psychology. Bonnie made it to the building just as Camille was leaving it. The blonde smiled as she saw Bonnie and Bonnie felt confident enough to invite her out for a cup of coffee.
They ended up at a small café near campus and Bonnie ordered a hot chocolate to calm her nerves. Camille ordered an espresso and raised a brow as Bonnie sat across from her at the table. "I don't usually give advice without charge, but this is twice now that I feel almost compelled to be at your service, Bonnie," she smiled. "Whoever you're attached to, must find you quite irresistible."
Bonnie flushed slightly and laughed to herself. "That's actually the problem," she said, "While I don't think that he's any more able to resist me than usual he seems to be actively trying to tamper down his usual impulses when it comes to me and our time together."
Camille sipped her coffee. "A delicate way of putting it," she said, with a grin, "I'm sure he appreciates your discretion." She drummed her nails against the tabletop and then continued. "Not knowing all the particulars, I can only offer a theory on the basis of the information that you provided. While I'm not the best with numbers, as a psychiatrist I am all about research and statistics. You used the phrase tamper down and you spoke before about the lack of any attempt on your partner's part to define the relationship. My theory is this, most individuals who operate outside of sexual norms do so with a certain degree of shame. By that way of thinking I believe that that shame is what is leading your partner to tamper down that side of themselves and not anything you're doing on your part."
Bonnie frowned. It made sense. Of course, it made sense. "I thought…," Bonnie began and then started over, "I had hoped that I had help free him of some of that shame. He's been…he's brought me out of my fears in so many ways. I've always suffered in one way or another. I've also always been one to keep my emotions bottled up for the sake of others. With him I am no longer scared to feel. No longer afraid of suffering. I feel free to be my whole self. I want to be able to give him that."
Camille reached out and patted Bonnie's hand comfortingly. "I'm sure you do," she said, "He wouldn't have acted at all if you didn't. Some things just take time or if you're comfortable a little push."
Bonnie smiled at Camille and nodded. "Chapter thirteen," she said.
Camille pulled her hand back and sipped her espresso. "Chapter thirteen," she nodded, "And if I may be so bold as to ask, please keep me updated on your progress? I love when my work is put to practical use."
Bonnie nodded and then a thought struck her. "If you're looking for someone to put your work into practice with, in the meantime, I may have someone in mind for you," Bonnie said, her tone coy, "Tell me Camille, how do you feel about the arts?"
Camille raised a brow. "Like body paint?"
Bonnie looked at the woman over her cup. "The person I have in mind is an artist so I'm sure he'd be very open to the idea."
:::
The thirteenth chapter of, The Pleasures of Pain, was entitled, "Rebellion". Bonnie thought that the word was an interesting choice that didn't necessarily fit her aim. As it turned out, as a submissive she was rounding out to be rather independent, as Elijah was the only person she was submitting to by choice, and it was less and less appealing to her to lower herself for the world at large. Not only were most undeserving, but Bonnie was also now beginning to love herself enough to realize she was undeserving of ill treatment for ill treatment's sake and that her thoughts and feelings were just as important as anyone else's. Because of whom she was becoming, and because she had already discovered that Elijah would only take the control that she allowed, she understood that an overt dramatic rebellion wasn't necessary. Because she also knew how to care for him, she knew that if she went too big, it would likely cause Elijah to draw even further away from her and into himself.
No, the trick of it would be in continuing her acts of provocation in a more direct way, in a way that exercised her power, expressed her displeasure at being ignored, got her the attention that she required, and let it be known that she would allow him control once more if he was willing to take it.
The next time that Bonnie went into the office she wore her hair down. She kept the knee highs she had taken to wearing with the addition of a skirt that was far shorter than would be appropriate. She wore a red top that was sheer and floral. No bra underneath. It was to be a slow day at the office and outside of the morning work he needed to complete with Pearl, Elijah's only appointment was with a new client, Dr. Meredith Fell, who was currently being sued for malpractice.
Bonnie's choice in clothing wasn't too far from what she adorned when they were in the office alone for the day but was far away enough from his preferences for her attire even on a slow day, that she knew it would give Elijah pause when Elijah saw her.
Bonnie arrived early. As she walked into the office, she came across a worm that was making its way across the sidewalk after the rain that came the night before. Smiling Bonnie picked up the worm and brought the creature inside. She set the creature on a few blank pieces of letterhead and carefully folded it inside. She wrote Elijah's name on an envelope with flourish before placing the letterhead with the worm inside of the envelope and sealing it shut. She walked into his office and placed the envelope on his desk before going about her morning routine.
Bonnie didn't bother brewing coffee as, on the mornings Elijah was in court with Pearl he often didn't come in until after he customarily took it. She went about organizing files and preparing notes on Dr. Fell's case, the hairs of her body standing on end in anticipation all the while.
Elijah and Pearl arrived at the office at eleven, thirty minutes before Dr. Fell's appointment and an hour before Bonnie customarily ordered lunch. The doctor in question had arrived early, her nerves getting the better of her. Bonnie made her chamomile tea with lavender and nodded to Pearl as she walked in, ignoring the smug look the woman had taken to giving her ever since Elijah had become more withdrawn in Bonnie's presence. It would be gone soon enough.
Elijah's eyes narrowed as he came to a stop in front of Bonnie's desk. Bonnie licked her lips as he twisted his ring, but Elijah kept his face in a stoic mask as he spoke. "Pearl and I need to debrief about this morning's hearing. We'll be done in time for Dr. Fell's appointment."
Bonnie nodded. "I'll order lunch. The notes for Dr. Fell's case are on your desk along with the incoming mail."
Elijah nodded. "Thank you, Bonnie. I'll let you know on the intercom when to send Dr. Fell in."
"Yes, sir." Bonnie smiled, not surprised when Elijah's hands clenched in response, and he walked into his office without looking back.
Bonnie had only had to wait five minutes before the dam broke.
Pearl stormed out of Elijah's office ignoring Bonnie's raised eyebrows. "If anyone calls for me," Pearl said, "I've been told to take the rest of the day off. As you know the office has been overwhelmed with distractions as of late. It would seem Mr. Mikaelson has just received one such distraction creeping and crawling in with today's mail. I suppose we won't be getting any work done today."
Bonnie grinned, knowing that Elijah had found the worm and had gotten her message. "I suppose not," Bonnie said, unrepentant, "How unfortunate."
Pearl rolled her eyes. "Indeed." Bonnie expected her to walk out but instead she leaned over the desk to murmur soft enough for Dr. Fell not to overhear. "The worm was an inspired choice. I underestimated you, Miss Bennett."
Bonnie kept her expression beguiling as she responded. "Don't feel too bad Ms. Zhu," she said. "I'm sure you'll find another reason to question my competency another day. After all, I still have no idea what a paralegal does. Though, with you being the expert on such things I trust that you're smart enough to stay in your lane. As you can see, I've become rather comfortable in mine."
"Point taken," Pearl snipped and left the office slamming the door behind her.
A moment later, the intercom came to life. "Miss Bennett."
Bonnie swallowed before pressing the button to respond. "Yes, Mr. Mikaelson."
"Come into my office." An order.
Bonnie glanced at Meredith, who was sipping her tea and pretending to ignore the whole scene. "But Dr. Fell is waiting, sir."
Elijah's voice came again and firmer this time. "Miss Bennett, come into my office, now."
"Yes, sir," she responded. Bonnie stood and spoke to Meredith without looking at the woman as she rounded the desk. "Dr. Fell, Mr. Mikaelson will have to cancel today's appointment. Please call us tomorrow to reschedule. I trust that you can see yourself out. Feel free to finish your tea before you go. The kitchen is to the left. Please place the cup in the sink when you're done."
Bonnie didn't wait for the woman's response as she walked down the hall to Elijah's office. Bonnie opened the door slowly and stepped inside. Her eyes landed immediately on his desk, the now long dead worm laying on the letterhead, the length of its body circled in red marker. Bonnie bit her lip to hide her glee at the sight of the red against the white sheet.
"Close and lock the door," Elijah commanded, "Have a seat at the desk. Do not speak unless spoken to."
Bonnie nodded. She shut and locked the door and took the chair in front of his desk as she eyed where he sat tense and ramrod straight behind it.
The silence that followed was thick, but Bonnie did as she was told and waited for him to speak.
"Are you lashing out or playing games? Which is it, Miss Bennett?" He asked.
"Neither, sir." Bonnie said simply.
Elijah frowned gripping the edge of his desk. "Then what, may I ask, is the meaning of this?" He gestured his head towards the worm.
"I'm expressing my displeasure with the state of our relationship, sir," Bonnie said, meeting his gaze head on, "You said that you were pleased with my performance. That I had your complete attention. And yet, you have been ignoring me for days now. Weeks. So, either you're a liar or you've been preoccupied. I thought either way the worm would be fitting, sir."
"Relationship," Elijah huffed, "You seem to be very fond of that word as of late."
Bonnie raised and eyebrow. "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't say that I know what you mean."
Elijah glared. "Did you have a date recently?"
Bonnie frowned, the question throwing her off kilter. "No, sir."
"Now who's the liar," Elijah said flatly.
"I'm not lying, sir." Bonnie said.
"I'll rephrase the question," Elijah said, and Bonnie suddenly felt more like she was on trial than reconnecting with him, "Did you have dinner with someone recently? A male?"
Bonnie blinked and nearly laughed once she realized the source of his tension. If she had known that he had seen her and Luka, that it had been the reason behind the distance, she could have acted to remedy it sooner. "Yes, sir."
Elijah looked put out when she didn't elaborate. "With whom did you have dinner?"
"Luka Martin," Bonnie answered, "An old friend from high school. It wasn't a date. We ran into each other. Decided to catch up."
"Making decisions all on our own, are we?" Elijah questioned.
Bonnie kept her expression blank. "You seem to think me quite capable of it. You leave me to my own devices when it suits you, sir," she said, "I'm a big girl, and outside of the meals with you and the ones we have with your siblings I have been known to eat with other people."
Elijah narrowed his eyes. "I'm assuming you enjoyed your meal with, this, Luka, was it?"
Bonnie shrugged, not missing the clear distaste in Elijah's tone as he said Luka's name. "I did," Bonnie said, "He's always been a good friend. It was nice, being with someone who isn't afraid to be with me in public."
Elijah winced. "Since you're a big girl as you put it," he scoffed, "I suppose you can answer this next question plainly without the unnecessary commentary. Did you have sex with him?"
"Yes, sir." Bonnie said, not offering any further explanation. She got some satisfaction when he faltered, as she used the order to not add any additional commentary against him.
"The same night?" He questioned, phishing for more information.
"No, sir." Bonnie said, her expression unmoving.
Elijah twisted his ring. "When?" he demanded, and then, "Elaborate."
Bonnie nodded, biting back a grin. "A long time ago," she said, "He was my first. A safe choice. It happened once when we were younger, in high school, and not since then."
Elijah let out a breath. "Did he make an attempt to rekindle things?"
"There wasn't anything to rekindle," Bonnie said blandly. She knew that he was practically cross-examining her to keep his distance. Putting on his lawyer hat as it were. But she also knew how to break down his defenses.
Elijah gritted his teeth. "Answer the question."
"He made an attempt to," she said, "I told him I was already in a relationship with someone whom I was more compatible with, sir."
Some of the tension left Elijah's frame but he still looked uneasy. "Some would say," he began, "That Mr. Martin would be a more fit companion for you. Similar age, and background given your struggles with mental health. A sweet disposition. Steady job. Clearly enamored with you."
Bonnie waited and realized that he must have looked into Luka himself with the amount of detail he knew about him. She also realized that Elijah was attempting to give her an out. His shame made him hate himself, hate what he was bringing out in Bonnie. Not true hate, but the kind of hate one forced upon themselves to circumvent the hate that he would get from the outside if he let the shame go and allowed himself to be free. He was giving himself an out as well.
"Perhaps your ideas about your compatibility will change over time," he said.
Bonnie saw it then, the insecurity under the surface of his stone expression. "They won't, sir. Things would never work between me and Luka."
"Why is that?" Elijah asked.
"He treats me like I'm made of glass," Bonnie said, "But you and I know that I'm built of stronger stuff than that."
Elijah's expression softened. "That you are, Miss Bennett."
"Besides, that," Bonnie said, "There's only one person that I want to be with."
Elijah looked away and sighed. She watched as his wall disappeared finally. "We can't do this twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, Bonnie."
Bonnie didn't need to ask what "this" he was referring to was. "Why not?"
Elijah met her eyes again, his wide. "You're not made of glass, Bonnie," he said, "But I never want there to be a time where you believe that I treat you the way I do because I don't know how very precious you are or how much vulnerability and trust it requires to allow me to do so."
Bonnie stood and rounded the desk. She sat down on the edge of it taking Elijah's hands in hers. "I've never thought that. Not once, Elijah."
Elijah squeezed her hands. "If we give this a name, if we give this weight I'll always wonder," Elijah murmured, "How much more of me, of what I am you can tolerate before I break you without meaning to."
Bonnie cupped his face with one hand and ran a hand through his hair with the other. She watched as he shut his eyes and leaned into the touch. "If you're concerned about my tolerance, sir, maybe you should test it."
"Bonnie," her name sounded strangled out of him, pained. "If we don't stop this now, I'll never stop. I'll never let you leave me."
"Then don't," Bonnie responded, feeling something inside of her leap dangerously close to hope.
Elijah's eyes met hers and then. "Do you really want to be my secretary, Miss Bennett?"
Bonnie leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. "Yes, sir."
Elijah pressed into her, taking her bottom lip between his teeth as she pulled away. "Assume the position," he said.
Bonnie felt the familiar tension coiling in her stomach as she moved to walk back around to the front of the desk. Elijah caught her arm, stilling her. He stood pushing his chair back.
"Here," he said, reaching over her and folding up the letterhead with the worm before tossing it into the trash bin beside his desk.
Bonnie did as she was instructed; keeping her position behind the desk as she placed her hands on the surface palms down. She bent over, her ass brushing against Elijah as she did so.
"Count," Elijah ordered.
"Yes, sir."
Bonnie heard the familiar sound of Elijah removing his suit jacket and draping it over his chair. She was normally in a position where she could watch him. His tie would come next. Then the buttons on his sleeves so that he could cuff them and roll them up. The space between the desk, their bodies, and the chair behind Elijah was so confined that Bonnie could feel the motions that she could not see. She knew the exact moment he moved to swing and was prepared when the first strike came.
Bonnie began to count, but quickly got lost in the sensations as Elijah spanked her. She had missed it. The pleasure. The pain. The burn. The release of it. She moaned pressing her ass further into his hand with each pass.
Eventually, Bonnie lost count. She became more focused on the ever-growing need that was building and the wetness between her legs. Just when she thought she might reach completion from the hard slap of his hand alone Elijah stilled behind her. Bonnie whimpered in frustration and received a hard smack that sent her rocking into the desk for her trouble. It wasn't enough.
"Patience," Came Elijah's voice, soft but firm. "Turn around."
Bonnie stood upright on shaking legs, sighing in relief as she felt the familiar bruising ache in her ass as she slowly turned to face him. Elijah had retaken his seat, his legs spread slightly and looked completely composed aside from the growing tent in his pants.
"Take off your clothes," Elijah said as he eyed her.
Bonnie's eyes grew wide, and she couldn't help it when another small whimper escaped.
"I'm not going to fuck you," Elijah said. His lips twisted into a smirk at Bonnie's responding pout. "They'll be time enough for that. Now, be a good girl and take off your clothes."
"Yes, sir." Bonnie stepped out of her heels first, Elijah's hands moving to grip her hips to help steady her. "Thank you, sir."
Elijah used his grip on her hips to pull her forward to stand between his parted legs. Bonnie inhaled sharply as he pressed a kiss to her stomach and another in the valley between her breasts. His lips seemed to burn even through the sheer material of her shirt. "Continue," he said, as he pulled back.
Bonnie's hands shook as she unbuttoned the buttons of her top. He had seen her scars before, but never all at once. She wondered how he would look at her once he saw the full extent of the damage, she had done to herself over the years. She wondered if the intensity in his dark gaze would fade. If his idea of compatibility would change.
Bonnie forged ahead, letting her trust in him guide her as she peeled off her layers and bared her marred brown skin to him.
Elijah asked quiet questions about some of the larger scars. Bonnie whispered the stories behind each one and he pressed his lips to them at the end of each tale even as she continued to disrobe.
As all her clothes lay in a puddle at her feet Bonnie felt her eyes water as she looked back at Elijah and met his dark gaze. The look in his eyes had not changed, only intensified. "Everything about you is beautiful," he said, "Everything about you is mine. The only new marks I want to see on your skin are the ones I give you. Do you understand?"
For the first time in her life, Bonnie felt beautiful. She beamed at him as she answered. "Yes, sir."
Bonnie watched as Elijah reached down to scoop up the red lace panties from the top of the clothes that lay piled at her feet. "You locked the door to my office," Elijah said, "But I'm assuming you didn't lock the door to the front or turn off the lights."
Bonnie bit her lip. She had been too eager to think to do either. "No, sir. I'm sorry, sir."
Elijah looked unbothered. "No matter," he said, "We'll simply have to make sure you remain quiet in case we have unwanted guests." He stood from the chair and grabbed Bonnie's chin. "Open your mouth."
Bonnie parted her lips slightly.
"Wider." Elijah instructed hooking his thumb inside.
Bonnie opened her mouth wider and fought the urge to suck his thumb. To take in any bit of him that she could.
"Good girl," Elijah said, before taking the panties in his other hand, balling them up and stuffing them into Bonnie's mouth. Bonnie began to breathe in and out through her nose and Elijah traced her bottom lip with his thumb. "Beautiful," he murmured.
Bonnie shivered as he trailed a hand down her stomach, the noise she made muffled by the fabric of her panties.
"Because you've been a handful as of late," Elijah said, his tone too calm, "I'll get to touch you all I want but you'll have to keep your hands to yourself until I say so." He turned slightly and grabbed his tie that was still draped over the back of the chair. "I can't seem to trust you to behave lately so I'll have to make sure you follow this bit of instruction myself. Turn around."
Bonnie turned away from him, holding her hands behind her back without being told. Elijah slowly, methodically began to bind her hands together by the wrist with his tie.
"Does it hurt?" he asked as he finished the knot.
Bonnie shook her head.
"Would you like it to?"
Bonnie nodded.
Elijah tugged the tie tighter and Bonnie moaned at the sharp pain leaning back into him. Her head lolled onto his shoulder. "So pretty," he whispered, and kissed her forehead. He placed his hands on her hips and urged her to turn before the order left his mouth. "Turn around."
Bonnie turned and was promptly lifted onto the desktop. Her ass still ached from the spanking. She felt a dual sensation of relief at the chill of the wood and discomfort from the hardness of it. She cried out, the sound stifled, as Elijah pulled her hair tilting her head back, his mouth finding her neck. He sucked and licked at her skin biting down hard enough to leave a mark before his mouth moved downward.
It felt like slow torture as he explored both breasts with teeth and tongue. Bonnie's back arched and her wrists twisted in the binds as Elijah moved down to trace each scar that lined her torso with his tongue.
Bonnie felt overwhelmed in the best way at the feel of his mouth on her. His lips. His tongue. His teeth. His breath wafting over her skin. She wanted to touch him. To pull him closer. But all that came out when she opened her mouth to beg herself free of her binds were muffled sobs and whimpers.
Then Elijah was kneeling before her, parting her legs roughly, his nails digging into her skin, the pain grounding her in the moment. His tongue ran along the scars on the inside of her thighs, hotly, slowly. He gave attention to each scar on each thigh. His tongue a balm for the wounds that had never quite closed within her and she loved him in that moment more than she had ever loved anyone.
Elijah arranged her legs over his shoulders and finally his mouth found her center. Bonnie's eyes shut at the feel of his mouth on her pussy. She squirmed, almost sliding off the desk but his grip gave her purchase. The contrast of the sensations, the pain as her hands struggled against the binds and the pleasure as his tongue worked inside of her was almost too much.
Elijah made a sound that reminded Bonnie of a purr as his mouth found her clit and his tongue began to make hard slow strokes over the small nub. As many times as she had touched herself to thoughts of him, it was nothing compared to feeling him there, on her and in her.
Elijah pulled back and Bonnie growled in frustration, the sound even more animalistic with her mouth obstructed. "Come for me, Bonnie," he demanded, "Now." The order so calm and direct as his mouth found her again and began to drive her insane. Bonnie's hips jerked forward as Elijah's tongue plunged deep inside of her and that was all it took for Bonnie to come apart.
Elijah lapped at her through the aftershocks and smiled as he pulled away. "Good girl."
Bonnie's body felt languid as Elijah stood, catching her by the hips before she could slide from the desktop. He reached around her and untied the tie from around her wrists with deft fingers. Bonnie slowly stretched her arms, gently rolled her wrists, and flexed her fingers once she was freed.
Elijah removed the panties from her mouth and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Bonnie licked her lips and her eyes wandered to the tent still in his pants. Elijah chuckled. "I told you I'm not going to fuck you. Not today."
He sat back down in the chair before Bonnie could respond and unbuckled his belt. Bonnie reached out a hand toward him and he grabbed it by the wrist.
"On your knees," he instructed.
"Yes, sir." Bonnie answered, her voice hoarse.
She watched with interest as he unzipped his pants and pulled himself out. Even if he wouldn't fuck her yet, she would still get to feel him inside of her in a way.
Bonnie dropped to her knees, and Elijah watched her with hooded eyes. Bonnie loved being on her knees for him. Her body seemed to acquiesce to him even in this as she took him into her mouth. She was soft and pliant and as he grabbed her by the hair and fucked into her mouth she welcomed the roughness of it, welcomed the heat of him. She got to take care of him in a new way as she swirled her tongue around his shaft. As she sucked and hummed with every moan and soft grunt he made. She swallowed around him as he came, and Bonnie loved to see him unravel for her anew.
He pulled out of her mouth and stroked her hair fondly. He tucked himself into his pants and adjusted his clothes. Bonnie almost thought that he would shut her out again, but then he was reaching out for her. Beckoning her to him. "Come here."
Bonnie got up from her knees and climbed into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. He clung to her tightly, his arms wrapped around her back.
"I love you," Bonnie murmured, surprising even herself with the admission though they both knew by now that she felt it. It had never been easy for Bonnie to show love, to risk rejection. But Elijah was safe even at his darkest and she couldn't not say what she felt for him.
Elijah squeezed her tighter still, a sound like a sob leaving his throat. "I'm very fond of you as well, Miss Bennett," he whispered, voicing what they both knew as much as he could. Bonnie's grip on him tightened as he continued. "I know that the function of your job has been called into question quite frequently as of late. But when I call you my secretary, I don't take that title lightly. I have in the past, as have others. But I…with you, I mean it as something essential. Permanent. You have become what keeps me tethered to myself. Do you understand, Bonnie?"
Bonnie dug her nails into his skin, tears of joy leaving her eyes. "Yes, sir."
It was in that way she felt secure.
End Notes: So how was it? What'd you think? Let me know! Next chapter it'll be back to Elijah's POV. Some shenanigans ensue during Bonnie and Elijah's first public outing at Klaus' gallery. Klaus and Camille meet. And we get a bit more depth into the Mikaelson clan when Mikael shows up. Hopefully you all are still enjoying this one! Reviews are love!