"Bonnie keeps texting me for tonight. You found a solution for the babysitter ordeal?"
"Don't worry, I won't have to ask Luca. Annie's mom came to town for a surprise visit."
Only one ear to Tan and Deacon's conversation, Chris fell behind their steps in the corridor.
"And she's okay watching the kids while you two come on a double date with your favorite married couple?"
"She was the one to suggest we took advantage of her presence. She'll be here for a few days, so Annie will have plenty of time to spend catching up with her."
As her teammates' voices faded in the distance, Chris pressed her sweaty hand on the code-7-room sign on the frosted glass and slid into the kitchen in a desperate search for refreshments. As well-trained and in shape as she was, a sweltering end-of-the-summer day like this one wasn't made for chasing bad guys for yards geared up from head to toes.
Next time, Chris thought as she cast a last glance at Deac and Tan walking farther down the corridor, she would secure the hostages, and one of them would sprint and tackle and whatever. Well, no, actually. Next time she would still be the faster one and go the extra mile, literally. That's who she was. That's what she trained so fiercely for.
But first hydrating. With something cold, possibly.
"Didn't I tell you everything would be okay?" Street was speaking into his phone while rummaging through the fridge. "You should better know to trust me."
All Chris's muscles stalled. He was talking to her. She could guess that much from his tone. Chris's gut told her to back out as quietly as she came in before he even acknowledged her presence, but every fiber of her being demanded the fresh drink she originally came here to gain.
They were not in kindergarten; she could do this.
The fridge door closed, but Street still had his back to Chris as he continued talking on the phone. "So what did your in-laws say?"
In-laws? Had she heard it right? The blood froze in Chris's veins, then rushed hot to her head. Could that be the reason why Street refused to tell them anything about his new girlfriend? A married woman… It couldn't be.
Just couldn't.
"I can't wait to hear the full story. I bet you feel much better now." Street turned, phone in one hand and a water bottle in the other. He finally noticed Chris. His lips curved into a flustered smile, then he turned again so slightly to the side and resumed speaking into the receiver, "Sorry, but I gotta go now— Yeah. See you there—" He hesitated a moment, slanting a not-so-discreet look at Chris before turning again. "Love you too," he said before hanging up.
In love with a married woman. What the hell was he thinking? Should she call him off here and now? Chris thought he'd grown out of that careless behavior. Was he slipping back to it because he couldn't have her?
But they couldn't be together. End of the story.
On that thought, Chris was back on the flight to Germany. Luca was all smiles, telling her detail after detail about Tan's wedding, then rattling off all the cool things they would do in Berlin. For ten hours or so. But she had not been there with him. She had been too busy suffocating with fear, cursing the pride that prevented her from telling Street how scared she was to lose him and why.
Too soon had been the transplant day, a living nightmare. Chris had been able to breathe only after the 'all good' text by Deacon. Had Luca not been worried himself, he might have sniffed something more profound was brewing in her mind. No, in her heart. But then Deac texted, and the relief had been overwhelming. She still had a chance to confess her feelings after all.
Once he would feel better, she might start with an apology, and then when she was back…
But Street had spiked a fever due to an infection that kept him out of consciousness for three days straight. Three long days of hell for her, too, miles away and unable to relieve his pain. If he makes it through, she had sworn to herself, I'm gonna tell him on the phone. No more excuses. No more waiting. But by the time Street had woken up and slowly recovered, he'd erected a wall so thick, Chris's had not been able to breach through it from the other end of the world. And she'd had no other choice than to break the promise she'd made herself to spill her heart to him.
The universe had spoken. They couldn't be together. They should shut it down for good.
"Water?" Street interrupted her stream of thoughts, stretching his arm for Chris to grab the cool, slippery plastic bottle from his hand. When she soundlessly accepted the offer, he turned back to the fridge to take out a second one for himself.
Chris had vowed she would shut it down. Move on. Why wasn't she relieved Street did the same even unprompted? He would never tempt her with something she would most probably not be able to resist. Ever again. And yet, some of the looks he still cast her when he thought she wasn't paying him any notice… Was she imagining that? Was she reading too much in his eyes just because she felt…what? Flattered by his inappropriate advances? Because she secretly hoped it was true love between them and he would not be able to love anyone else as he loved her? And what if this was once again his attempt to distract himself and ended up screwing up more than one heart, more than one life?
But tricking himself into thinking he was in love with a married woman… For what? Unconsciously punishing himself?
Chris took a long swig of water. Then another. Then a deep breath. "You know how much I would prefer to keep my nose wide away from your love life—"
Street closed the fridge door empty-handed, his stance stiffening, but he didn't yet turn to her. She'd hit a nerve. He was indeed hiding something big.
Chris's heart thumped in her chest, and she was hot all over but not for the external temperatures. "Look, I don't want to tell you what to do, but if you're having an affair, it can go wrong in so many ways. And when it does go wrong, it will mess up with the whole team." The words got out before she could refrain herself. She wasn't worried about the team's reputation, but that was the only excuse she could voice. "If you're dating a married woman again—"
Street scoffed, finally turning to face her with a mask of indignation. "It only happened once." He lifted a finger to remark his point. "And that time, I had no clue the woman was married before sleeping with her. Just that one time. No clue."
"But now you do."
He folded his arms across his chest, biceps bulging with tension. "Are you listening to yourself? You know nothing about this."
How can I know anything when you keep it all under wraps? Chris thought but instead said, "I'm just worried, Street. You can't truly believe this is right."
"Would you just stop being this righteous and listen to me?"
"I'm listening." Chris balled her hands in fists, the bottle in her grip crackling and crinkling under her pressure. "It's you who's not saying anything."
A muscle in Street's jaw flexed. She'd hit the mark again. But now, he was even more on defense, arms tight across his chest, shoulders high. "And you think you can judge me because?" He cringed as soon as the words left his mouth as if biting his tongue for what he'd just said.
It was a low blow, but Chris bit the bullet. She shoved aside the thought of her drunken, grief-stricken mistakes. Back then, Street anything but judged her and all but helped her through the moment. Could she do the same for him now, even if she may be partly responsible for his reckless behavior? In a forcefully calm tone, she bit out, "I'm not judging."
Wasn't she, though? This gave her pause. Before she could gather her thoughts and add anything else, Luca and Tan bumped each other into the room, joking loudly.
"What was the rush?" Tan asked, nodding his head toward the closing second entrance from where Street had found his way out of the room without making a sound, taking advantage of the distraction. "What did he do this time?"
Chris glanced in that direction. Could she tell her teammates what she'd just overheard about Street's girlfriend being married? He'd not confirmed she was. He'd not denied it either.
"Why are you so pissed at him?" Luca pressed on. "What did he do?"
"Aside from keeping secrets from us?"
Tan and Luca shared a look, then the latter said, "He's gone hiding again to talk to his girl in private?"
Chris heated up even more. "That woman is not good for him," she couldn't refrain herself before managing to get her composure back. "Tell me you don't feel something is off with her, too."
The guys looked at each other again, pondering it for a moment.
"You got a point. Zee is monopolizing his attention," Tan conceded. "Don't get me wrong, on the job, he's more focused and even sharper than I've ever seen him, but I have to admit he spends every break texting or calling her."
"And when's the last time he hung out with any of you after shift?" Chris prompted. If they saw it too, it couldn't be her just being…jealous?
"He barely sleeps at home anymore," Luca said. "But he's really happy, guys. I've never seen him like this."
"And with 'like this', you mean secretive and possessive?"
"Oh, come on, Chris, he's…protective at most." The face Tan made while saying this was proof he didn't believe his own words.
Protective fit. Something clicked in Chris's mind. What if Zee was trying to divorce an abusive husband? It would make perfect sense if that was the loose end Street was helping her tie. But why keep it a secret from them? They were all cops; they would understand. They would help.
Why the heck did Street want to always do everything on his own? Chris knew why. She was like that too… But this wasn't just about him.
"At least he stopped denying they're dating," Luca put in. Yes, Street stopped plain lying and restored to just omitting things. "But if he's not ready to share, can we really oblige him to?" Luca continued.
Chris's stomach twisted. Again she understood Street's behavior as she was the first one guarding her personal life and her feelings even from her friends.
"We should not worry," Tan said. "He'll come clean when he's ready to."
"Although I have to admit the rare times I find Street home, he can get lost in thought easily. I don't always understand if he's blissfully daydreaming or in a spiral of concern."
Chris felt her eyebrows reaching her hairline. "And it seems the same to you?"
It was Tan who spoke in his friend's defense. "Street's not so easy to read lately. You noticed that too."
He was possessive. Protective. Delighted then at times worried. Cagey always. But very, very real in his feelings for this woman. It was even too obvious how deep he was in. And it struck Chris. Maybe this wasn't Street trying to fool himself into forgetting her. Perhaps this time it was the real deal. After all, this Zee entered his life before Chris did. Loved him before—
Luca heaved a sigh. "I wonder what kind of history they really have."
Chris straightened up; she couldn't let her friends read her so easily. Not on this topic.
"Beats me," Tan said. "Zee might be Street's dream woman, but now you're making me wonder what happens when he wakes up from that dream."
Chris shook her head. She couldn't have said it better. Street's sweet dream was about to turn into a nightmare without him even realizing it. Somehow she could feel it. But of course, she was the last person he wanted to hear that warning from. And their other friends didn't know enough to intervene. So how was she going to protect his heart now?
-o- -o- -o-