The men Jane dated had a habit of disappearing.
Casey went missing in action, Agent Dean went undercover and no one knew where he was.
Jane didn't date that many men, actually. But then Maura's exes started going missing too. Ian was never really on the map but his last known whereabouts was Antarctica. Maura received an annulment from a marriage she hardly remembered. Jack moved to a different state. The rest were dead at Jane's (or someone else's) hand, or in jail. Jane was starting to get suspicious.
Paddy Doyle stood when Jane came in.
"How is she?" he asked, always his first question. Jane showed him the lock screen on her phone - Maura holding a plaque at a ceremony, next to Jane and wearing an enormous smile. "Good," he said, sitting when Jane did. "She looks happy," he said leadingly.
"Do you know why I'm here?" Jane asked, shutting him down.
"Do I ever know why you're here?" Paddy countered and Jane grit her teeth.
"Agent Gabrielle Dean is missing. So is Casey - Lieutenant Charles Jones."
"Are those names supposed to mean anything to me?"
"Agent Dean. You shot him. I... may have been involved with him. Likewise with Casey."
"You're saying I shot two of your boyfriends?" Paddy asked incredulously. Jane sighed and rubbed her forehead.
"I'm saying they're both missing, and I dated them both. Along with Ian Faulkner, Maura's former flame, and her current one moved multiple miles away suddenly. Don't act coy with me, Paddy. This is your machination. What are you playing at?"
"I didn't kill your precious boyfriends, Detective Rizzoli, if only because I know it would make Maura sad, and I don't like to make my only daughter sad."
"Then where are they, and why are you doing this?"
Paddy leaned back in his chair and looked over at Jane.
"I knew who you were. Before we met, officially. Had intel that Maura was sleeping over, and that you lived in a one bedroom. Heard you were staying over at hers too, that your mum moved in." Paddy paused, nodded. "I like your mother. She doesn't know who I am, of course, but I like how happy she makes Maura." He fixed his gaze on Jane again. "I like how happy you make her. I like the way you protect her. The men she dates are weak and insignificant, but you - you're a challenge, even to my men. She's in a lot of danger because of her connection to me, and I can't have her shacking up with someone I can't work with."
"I don't work for you, Paddy," Jane informed him, her jaw set. Paddy chuckled and fiddled with his hands - where the ring he used to wear used to sit.
"Work with. We have a common goal. It's for the health and happiness of one Doctor Maura Isles. You make her happy, and so far you've protected her adequately. Would have preferred you didn't shoot me to do it, but I'll take it." He met Jane's eyes, and she nodded. If Paddy had shot Jane to keep Maura safe, she'd have taken it too; he knew that instinctively, and Jane knew he knew. Jane would never let her defenses down around Paddy, but he was right. They did have a common goal.
"Get to the point. Visiting hour's almost over." They both knew this was outside visiting hours, that Jane could come and go from the prison as she wished, but he nodded anyway.
"You didn't ask for it, but I give you my blessing." Paddy leaned back in his chair, watching Jane's face fill with confusion, then a deep blush at what he was implying.
"We're not like that," Jane said uselessly, her hard front finally dropping a little. "She doesn't - I don't..."
"She does," Paddy said, sliding a packet of photos from his jumpsuit and across the table. They were a series taken over months, years, of Maura smiling up at Jane, of Jane's hand touching Maura, of Jane opening doors and buttoning coats, of Jane at Maura's bedroom window. There was one from the precinct, Jane shielding Maura with her body in a hostage situation. Another from the prison infirmary, Jane's face feral as she lifted a scalpel, the image grainy from the security feed. It should have felt invasive, but in most of those photos Maura looked content and loved. Jane exhaled slowly. Maura was Paddy's daughter; of course he'd been keeping tabs on her. On them, since Jane was always with her, always watching Maura's back. Well, it wasn't the only reason Jane was always with Maura, but it was the first one she'd admit to, especially when confronted by the likes of Paddy Doyle.
"She's the most valuable thing in my life. The only good thing I ever did. I have my men on her, but I have to be able to trust the ones closest to her. And, for a given value of trust, as it pertains to Maura, I trust you. So, you have my blessing." Jane looked back at a photo of Maura laughing at something Jane had said, her thumb rubbing over Maura's smile. She'd kill for Maura; she had already, multiple times. She'd die for Maura if she had to. Her first instinct in any situation was to get Maura to safety. She sighed. She'd been kidding herself for too long. It was there in the photos, in the way Jane looked at Maura. It was obvious when it was captured like that, laid out in sequence. She thought she'd been so subtle with her little crush or whatever it was she felt for the other woman. She looked up at Paddy, tearing her eyes away from the photos.
"Where are the bodies?" Jane asked. "You killed them because they were getting between us? Or had them killed? You just want to tighten your payroll by taking your men off Maura, and if she's with me you'd be satisfied she was protected, wouldn't you? So where are the bodies?"
"You think I did it but you just can't prove it," Paddy chuckled. "Well, no body, no crime." Jane snorted out a laugh. Paddy rolled his eyes. "They blast music an hour a day. They don't care what we listen to. You have my word, they're alive and well compensated for their distance."
Jane eyed Paddy. He wasn't always honourable, but when it came to Maura he always tried to do the right thing. Maura would be upset if he'd killed them, and he had enough money and reach to get them out of Jane's way. So that Jane could date Maura.
From a business - Paddy's business - point of view, it made sense. Get the strongest person from the dating pool to protect what he needed protecting.
"She can take care of herself," Jane said cautiously, not wanting to admit that dating Maura would have multiple merits.
"Not from the sort of people who come after her," Paddy reminded Jane, who hesitated before she nodded. "So, we have an accord?"
"She doesn't even..." Jane voice dropped. "I'm not... a candidate."
Paddy just gave Jane an irritating smile and got to his feet, ready to return to his cell. "Give her my regards, won't you?" he said, and Jane dropped her head in her hands at the table. He'd left the photos for her. He probably had more. Jane looked them over once, looking at the way Maura looked at her when she thought Jane couldn't see her before she bundled them up and went home for the day.
"I have such bad luck with men," Maura said, fidgeting with a ring. She looked shyly over at Jane. "At least I have you," she added.
Jane thought back to the phone call she'd frantically answered with "Anything you want, I'll get it," or whatever she'd said, not even trying to bargain for Maura's life. She'd have sold her soul to the mob for Maura's safety; in some ways she already had.
"You'll always have me," Jane promised. "And if you wanted to see if you have better luck with women..." Jane shrugged and sipped her beer, turning back to the baseball as though what she'd said had been of no consequence.
"Did you... all the men in our lives are missing, did you...?"
"Clear the way so I had a shot? Not me."
Maura shot Jane a look, but Jane shrugged.
"You think I did it but you just can't prove it," she echoed Paddy, knowing the reference would go over Maura's head. Instead Maura's eyes lit up with understanding.
"No body, no crime," Maura said nodding. "Paddy?" she asked, and Jane shrugged.
"He says they're alive. He also says I'm the only person he trusts with you."
"I won't have my biological mob boss father dictate who I can and cannot date," Maura said indignantly, then looked over at Jane's deflated face. "But in this case, he might be right," Maura admitted. "Okay."
"Okay?" Jane asked, confused.
"Okay. I can't get luckier than you, if I were to date women."
"Oh, you're going to get lucky alright," Jane said, closing the minute gap between them on the couch in one quick pounce.
Paddy didn't exactly walk Maura down the aisle in an orange jumpsuit, but one of the songs at the wedding was, for no reason fathomable to anyone but Jane and Maura, Taylor Swift's 'No Body No Crime'. It played for their first dance, Maura in a white dress and Jane in a white tuxedo.
"We should send Paddy some wedding cake," Jane said, holding Maura close in a waltz, kissing her cheek.
"As long as it doesn't have a file in it," Maura joked as her wife spun her around on the dance floor.
Notes:
watch?v=IEPomqor2A8