Chapter 3

Fixation

October 2010

The last few remaining days of September bid the city farewell with a mixture of intense heat and intermittent rain. The beginning of October, however, brought a long-awaited dip in temperature that let the residents breathe a sigh of relief, the days pleasantly warm and sunny. It was the perfect weather anyone could have asked for to close out the summer and fully transition into autumn.

Her jacket swung across one shoulder, Tsuki made her way down the busy road that ran along the border of Kamurocho proper, as she had done countless times since moving into her current apartment. It was already dark outside, but the warmth of the day still lingered. Soon enough, the iconic red gate adorning the entrance to Tenkaichi Street came into view.

She remembered the day she had first set foot in Kamurocho as if it had only been yesterday. It was hard to believe that nearly eighteen years — half of her present age — had passed since that moment. Although much had happened since, the pain and the anger that had filled her back then remained a part of her, like a wound that had since healed, but left scars that would never fade. Some days, when a reflective mood struck her, she would wonder why she had never decided to leave, choosing instead to tie her livelihood to the place, for better or worse. Her relationship with Tokyo's red-light district was akin to taking medicine that provided relief for one sickness while, at the same time, afflicting her with another. Certainly, if there was one place to make money running a bar, it was there. Its visitors' pockets were deep and establishments' asking prices high — but the same could be said about the competition. She knew she was lucky to have found a niche and gained enough popularity to make a steady income.

In this town, she had made enemies and friends both; experienced pain and joy alike. In spite of everything, she had persevered and hoped that, one day, the good would finally outweigh the bad. Either way she looked at it, her life appeared to be intrinsically tied to the place. Maybe it was fate — or maybe the universe simply had a dark sense of humor. Ten years earlier, it would never have crossed her mind that she would one day run a bar of her own here. Words could not express how grateful she was for the life she had now. Deep down, she felt that someone like her did not deserve it, but she would sure as hell make the most of it for as long as she could, and cherish every single day of it.

Her stride determined and steady, she crossed under the bright red arch and into the sea of a myriad colorful neon lights.

From atop one of the rooftops, Majima had a clear view of the best part of Tenkaichi Street below. Arms propped up on the safety railing and a cigarette in hand, he kept an eye on the vicinity of the landmark that was the red arch marking the entrance to the district. He knew full well that this was not the only way to enter Kamurocho — it was a gamble on his part, but he had a good feeling about his choice this time.

That day, luck seemed to indeed be on his side. There she was — the leather jacket swung across her shoulder, every step brimming with the confidence of someone who had come to know the town like the back of their hand. He watched her as she stopped on the sidewalk and took out her cellphone to pick up a call. Pulling out his own phone, he checked the time. Was she meeting someone before heading to work?

Ever since they had parted ways a couple of days earlier, she would not leave his thoughts. It had been a long time since he last felt such curiosity towards someone. What interested him most at that moment was whether her fearless, defiant attitude was genuine or simply an act she kept up at her bar. In the past, he had met girls who would put up a persona while at work to cater to their customers' tastes. Granted, they had been cabaret girls, but it was not out of the realm of possibility that this was similar. As for how he planned to find out, he had decided to follow and observe her around town. At first, he had thought it best to stay out of sight, but then another, much more enticing idea had come to him.

His gaze trailed on her, he watched as she walked past New Serena and entered Poppo. Throwing the cigarette butt on the ground, he spun around and skipped down the stairs leading from the rooftop.

That afternoon, it had been Aki's turn to handle the supply delivery. In her typical fashion, she had forgotten to set aside enough time between said task and when they were to open Stray, and ended up skipping dinner. Expecting her boss to already be in the vicinity at that hour, she had called her to ask if she could pick up something to eat for her on the way. Before that, however, Tsuki decided to stop by the nearest convenience store.

While she was browsing through the magazine rack, the silhouette of a man wearing a golden blazer caught her eye through the window. A small gasp escaped her lips when she saw that it was indeed who she had instantly thought of. She secretly watched as he walked by, feeling safe in her assumption that there was no way he would notice her, the store's window being directly to his left.

To her surprise, however, a few moments later she noticed him walk inside. One hell of a coincidence, she thought. He stopped and took a look around, as though he was searching for something with his gaze. Immediately, she lowered her head again, turning away slightly from the direction of the door in hopes that he would not recognize her. From the corner of her eye, however, she saw he was now walking towards her. Perhaps it was no coincidence, after all. He must have seen her go in earlier, she thought, but the reason why he would go out of his way to follow her eluded her.

"Oh? If it ain't Tsuki-chan!" he feigned surprise, an innocent smile on his face.

"Majima-san!" she proceeded to do the same. "Didn't I tell you to drop the suffix?"

"What?"

"Never mind…" she sighed. "Fancy meeting you here, though."

"Eh, I was nearby an' saw ya goin' in. Thought I'd say hello."

"Huh, okay. That's nice of you," she said, one eyebrow slightly raised as she regarded him with suspicion.

"Whatcha got there?" he eyed the magazine she was holding.

"Oh, um — nothing, really," suddenly embarrassed, she closed it and tried to hide it behind her back, but he had already seen the cover.

"Weekly Shonen? Ya like that kinda thing, then?"

The cat was out of the bag, so she decided she might as well go along with it.

"I'm not that big on manga, but there's this one series I got invested in. And, since I haven't read the latest chapter yet, I thought I'd grab a copy of the magazine that publishes it on my way to work." He met her answer with an inquisitive stare, but before he could say anything, she preempted him. "I still want to pick up something else while I'm here, so if you don't mind waiting a bit, we can talk more outside."

"Sure, go ahead."

A few minutes later, a can of Black Boss coffee in each hand and the magazine under her arm, she rejoined him by the door.

"You want one? I bought an extra, just in case." She extended an arm towards him. He looked surprised by her gesture. "Unless you're not a fan of coffee — in which case, more for me."

"Don't mind if I do. Thanks."

"Alright, let's be off, then."

Fiddling a little with her jacket, which she had swung over her arm, she put the magazine inside her bag, and headed out, Majima following close behind.

Sipping on the canned coffee, they strolled casually along Tenkaichi Street, soon entering Taihei Boulevard.

"So, what's this manga you're readin' about?" he asked as they were walking.

Tsuki highly doubted that he was genuinely interested in that kind of thing, assuming instead that he was asking her about it in order to keep up the conversation.

"I wouldn't want to bore you with the details."

"Then just gimme a quick rundown. I ain't big on readin' that kinda stuff, so I'm curious."

"Alright… The gist of it is that the protagonist, who's an outsider shunned by his community, goes to hell and back for the sake of those he cares about, all while holding fast to his own principles, and in so doing tries to prove his worth," she explained, feeling a little embarrassed. "It's pretty generic, when you think about it, but the author managed to flesh out the characters very well, and I like the artstyle, too."

"As long as ya enjoy readin' it, does it matter that it's generic?"

"I guess… not? I don't know... It just resonates with me. I'm a bit of an outsider myself, in case you haven't noticed," she smiled bitterly.

"Eh, who gives a shit? You'd prefer to be just another nameless cog in the machine?"

His casually uttered question gave her pause.

"Sometimes, I do feel that being just like everyone else would make a lot of things easier," she sighed.

"Why dontcha ditch the bad girl shtick, then? It ain't like someone's makin' ya keep it up, right?"

"No, but… Wearing popular clothes, working a steady office job, bowing my head to everyone, and so on — that's just not who I am. Never was," she frowned, thinking about it. "Do you think I'd be better off changing just to make life easier for myself?"

"Ya sure that's somethin' ya should be askin' someone like me?"

"Hm, true. But now that I've said it out loud, I want to hear your take."

He gave her a look that suggested he was waiting to see whether she would change her mind. When she met it with expectant silence instead, he turned his gaze back to the street in front of them.

"Screw that noise. Wouldn't livin' as someone ya ain't be actually harder? 'Sides, I think girls like you are a breath of fresh air, to tell ya the truth."

Tsuki felt a wave of heat rush to her face. She tried to rein in the butterflies that she was beginning to feel in her stomach by telling herself that what he had just said was probably meant as a general statement, and not a targeted compliment.

Meanwhile, having finished his coffee, Majima crushed the empty can in his gloved hand and tossed it into the nearest trash can they passed.

"Also, ain't doin' only what others think ya should be doin' kinda lame? If ya ask me, ya should be free to live however ya want an' not give a crap 'bout what people think."

"Guess I should've expected an answer like that from someone who's a yakuza," she chuckled. "It's a beautiful notion. If only life was that simple," she gave him another bitter smile. "Anyway — we're here."

Majima gave her a puzzled look when they stopped in front of Matsuya.

"Ya skip dinner today or somethin'?"

"Not me. Aki forgot to eat dinner, the scatterbrain that she is, so now I have to grab something to-go for her. I shouldn't be long."

Approaching the door, she noticed he did not make a move to follow. He seemed to be considering something.

"Right. I'll leave ya to it, then. Got somethin' to take care of myself, actually."

"Oh. Yeah, don't worry about it. See you at Stray later?"

By the time the words left her mouth, he was already walking away. Without giving her an answer, he simply bid her farewell with a raised hand before disappearing into the crowd.

In the end, she did not see him at Stray that evening, nor the one after. She thought nothing of it, seeing as it had taken him roughly a week between his visits before, and carried on like always.

Two days after her chance encounter with him at Poppo, Tsuki entered Kamurocho by way of Nakamichi Street to shorten the distance she had to walk. It was already well past seven, so she knew that if she dallied, she would be running the risk of being late to open up. While the first patrons did not usually show up until around nine, she preferred to be there on time in case of any unexpected developments. With no other errands to run on the way, however, she was confident she would make it in time without issue — so much so that she decided to stop to buy a drink from one of the many vending machines scattered around town. Having made her choice and paid, she waited for the machine to move the can into the tray below.

"Yo."

The unexpected greeting came from her blind spot, making her jump. She spun around, only to see Majima right next to her, grinning mischievously.

"Majima-san! What the hell?"

He was much too close to her for comfort. Instinctively taking a step back, she glared at him.

"Gave ya a scare, didn't I?"

"Scare? No. But you did surprise me, I'll give you that."

"Sorry — couldn't resist," he giggled.

She had not expected to run into him like this again after last time. There was something conspicuous about it, but she decided to write it off as another coincidence, for now.

"Don't you have better things to do? Like, actually running the family you supposedly have?"

"What, ya think I'm tied to a desk all day 'cause of that?" he scoffed in response. "I got people takin' care of that sorta thing, most of the time. Don't need to babysit 'em every wakin' hour, y'know. I ain't much of an office type anyway."

"Yeah, no kidding," she raised an eyebrow at him. "So what, you were just roaming around and saw me?"

"Right ya are."

She eyed him with suspicion, waiting to see whether or not there was any further purpose to his current interaction with her. Bizarrely enough, he remained silent, simply staring at her with a goofy smile on his face.

"Okay, well — unfortunately, I'm not made of time like you seem to be, so forgive me for cutting our chat short, but I have to get to work."

"Don't let me stop ya. I'll see ya 'round."

Judging by the smug smile on his face, her annoyance was to him like water off a duck's back.

"If you feel like talking some more, you know where to find me."

Giving him one last look, Tsuki walked away, leaving him to his own devices next to the vending machine. Turning a corner, she glanced his way one more time. She could still see him in the distance — he appeared to be smoking a cigarette now. He did not choose to follow her this time, but, all the same, something was beginning to feel off about these seemingly random encounters. She could not shake the impression that there was a hidden meaning to his words, and that she would not see him at the bar that evening, either.

In the end, her hunch proved to have been correct — like before, she did not see hide nor hair of him for the entire night. Meanwhile, with each day that passed without him showing his face at Stray, Aki was growing more confident in her assumption that he would not return at all. Not wanting to dash her hopes, Tsuki had not yet told her about her run-ins with him around Kamurocho. It was still not out of the realm of possibility that, lately, he simply had not had the time in the evenings to drop by, and both of their meetings had been nothing more than a fluke. Perhaps, before they met, they had already been passing each other in the streets without even realizing it. On the other hand, she mused, she was fairly certain that she would remember crossing paths with someone as unique as him.

While she was pondering this, a voice at the back of her head whispered a question which suggested a different, much less pleasant, scenario — what if he was deliberately following her? As much as she preferred to believe them accidental, the timing and regularity of their encounters were becoming suspect. An idea suddenly popped into her head — there was something she could do to determine which it was. She knew she would be taking a gamble, but her mind was made up. Whatever the answer, she preferred to find out sooner rather than later, so that, at the very least, she would know where she stood and could act accordingly.

The following day, she would set her plan in motion. The two times she had bumped into him in recent days, it happened around the time she normally arrived in Kamurocho to get to work. If he had indeed been watching her, he must have already noticed the regularity of it. She needed to do something out of the ordinary, perhaps go somewhere he could not foresee her going without having eyes on her.

It was just past seven in the evening when she stepped off the subway. Unsure how the situation would develop, she had taken the precaution of letting Aki know she could end up running late. Making her way through the town, she observed her surroundings more closely than ever, keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary.

Close to her destination now, she stopped by the sidewalk and pulled out a cigarette. The spot she had chosen gave her a clear view of a good chunk of Nakamichi Street, as well as the intersection connecting it to Tenkaichi Street on the right and South Pink Street on the left. She studied the people passing her by, and made note of every corner someone like him could use to hide. Prolonging her smoke break for as long as she could without it becoming conspicuous, she made sure she had not missed any spot in the vicinity. If, by any chance, he was coincidentally somewhere nearby, she was certain she would have seen him by now — yet, he was nowhere in sight. Unless he had already been watching her from somewhere she could not see, there was no way he would notice her enter Pronto on the other side of the street.

Placing her hand on the café's door, she took one last look behind her. As dangerous as Kamurocho was, she had never felt the need to watch her back like this — in truth, it was irritating. Once inside, she ordered a coffee, and took a seat at an open table, her back to the wall. Head lowered, she sipped her beverage, pretending she was reading something on her cell phone, and waited to see if her ruse had worked, hoping deep inside that it had not. She did not have to wait long.

Barely a few minutes had passed before she heard someone new enter the café, the sound of their footsteps growing louder as they approached her table. Soon enough, she noticed the familiar leather slacks and steel-tipped dress shoes in the corner of her eye. She let out a disappointed sigh.

"Yo, Tsuki-chan. Never thought I'd see ya here, of all places, at this hour. Mind if I join ya?"

Before she could give him an answer either way, Majima sat down in the chair across the table. Eyebrows down in a frown, she placed the cup of coffee back on its saucer, flipped her phone shut and put it back in her pocket. Folding her arms, she made sure her face conveyed exactly how irritated she was. Crossing paths with him once around town she would have been willing to write off as coincidence. Twice seemed like a bizarre turn of events. However, three times in the span of a couple of days — after she had chosen to stop by a place she hardly ever frequented on her way to work, too — was a pattern. Contrary to the excuses he would always give her, she was almost certain now that none of their run-ins had been mere happenstance — this was planned, and her ruse seemed to have just proven that.

"Okay — I think we need to get some things straight here," she began. "This is the third time in the past week that you've accidentally run into me in town after I'd literally never seen you around before. Are you stalking me?"

"Kamurocho ain't exactly that big, when ya think 'bout it. Not that hard to bump into someone more than once, y'know."

"Don't bullshit me. I made sure to check the area to see if you were anywhere nearby. I don't know where from, but you've been watching me, haven't you?"

His eye narrowed, a displeased grimace appearing on his face. The jig was up.

"If ya want me gone, just say so."

"That's not even it. I like our little chats, but, lately, I feel that no matter where I go, I'll eventually run into you, whether I want it or not. Is there any particular reason you've been following me? 'Cause if you're looking for a punch in the face, I'd say you're well on your way there."

Leaning back, he propped an elbow on the chair's back and gave her a toothy grin.

"Ya don't beat 'round the bush, do ya? If ya wanna know so badly… I was curious."

"About what, exactly? My shopping habits?"

He scoffed.

"Naw. I wanted to see if that unruly streak ya got goin' was just an act for the customers, yer place bein' what it is. S'ppose I got my answer."

"Oh, I can put my fists where my mouth is, if that's what you've been wondering," she shot him a challenging look. "But, now that you got what you wanted, does that mean you'll stop following me?"

"Don't pretend that ya don't enjoy it."

His words took her aback, the realization hitting her like a ton of bricks. She did enjoy it — she found it exciting, even if a little weird.

"I beg your pardon?" she said, determined not to let him see he was right.

The grin on his face blended into a smug, triumphant smile.

"I know when someone's really pissed off — and even now, I can see you're holdin' back. Either yer tough act is, well, just an act — or there's another reason why ya haven't gotten rid of me yet. Which brings us to what I just said — you're enjoyin' it."

The truth he had just made her admit to herself was that she had been giving him much more leeway than she would have done someone else. She had had to deal with stalkers in the past, but none of their stints had lasted as long as this one. If she genuinely wanted him to leave her alone, she would have already made it clear.

"Are you sure you're not seeing things? If I were you, I'd go get that eye checked to see if it's still up to snuff," she scoffed, unable to determine whether the annoyance mounting inside her was aimed at herself for showing him such lenience, or at the fact that he could see through her so easily. Perhaps both.

"Oh, that's a good one. Don't worry, it's as good as it gets," he smirked. "So, ya like me, eh?"

She could not believe the gall on this man. He was really beginning to get under her skin.

"Sure, I like you — but only because you're a patron, so don't go getting any ideas," she rebuffed him. "That said, it sure as hell doesn't give you the right to stalk me." Leaving her coffee unfinished, she stood up and grabbed her bag from where she had hung it on her chair. "Anyway, if you decide to spend your time doing something less inane for a change, you know where to find me. I'm leaving."

Majima watched her without a word, the smug smile still on his lips. As she was walking past him, she stopped and turned to him one last time.

"And don't you dare follow me again or this will get ugly," she added before storming out of the café.

Even after she had gone, he kept sitting there, smiling. Resisting the temptation to find out how far he could push her, he decided to stay in the café a little while longer. Taking the opportunity, he ordered something to drink for himself as well.

He found her frustration and empty threats bizarrely endearing, and teasing her was quickly becoming his new favorite pastime. He knew that he was probably treading a thin line, but he had found it too amusing to pass up. It had been fun, while it lasted. Now, however, it seemed it was time to give it up. Although he was itching to call her bluff, if he was to see her abilities for himself, bullying her into a street fight was not the way he wanted to do it. He would bide his time, and remind her of what she had promised him when the time was right.

Her steps fuelled by anger and annoyance both, Tsuki could not remember the last time she had made it to Stray so quickly on foot. The sign outside was dark and the doors still locked tight — it did not appear Aki had arrived yet. It was ironic, really, given that she knew her boss could come in late that day, but not entirely unexpected — Aki had a tendency of arriving everywhere at the last possible moment.

It was nearly eight o'clock when Tsuki finished making sure everything was ready for the night. With not much else to do, she pulled out an extra ashtray from under the counter, and sat down on one of the couches across the room from the bar. Lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag, she tried to calm down.

She was unsure what to make of it all. A yakuza boss had just practically admitted he had been stalking her. Not only that, he had even had the audacity to assume she did not mind it. She could not say what she would do if he decided to come over to Stray that evening. Why was it that whenever she thought she had finally met someone interesting, they simply had to turn out to be a creep, in the end? It made her furious that she had been gullible enough to fall for it. Just when she was beginning to take to the man, too. And yet, as absurd as she knew it was, deep down, she wanted to give him another chance. She had never done that before with anyone else — but then, all the other weirdos who had fixated on her in the past seemed… different, somehow. She could not put a finger on what it was, exactly. For what it was worth, her encounters with him did not seem malicious — his voice and body language, even the moments when he was clearly teasing her, seemed to have a playful undertone. From her point of view, whatever he did, he did not behave how she would expect a high-ranking yakuza to behave. It baffled her. Was he simply toying with her? If that was indeed the case, she hoped that he was ready to get burned.

The sound of footsteps echoing down the stairs from the entrance pulled her out of her thoughts. A moment later, she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Hello? Tsuki?"

"Hey," she replied, making her presence known.

Aki did not hide her surprise at seeing her.

"Didn't you say you were going to be late today?"

"I did, yeah. Everything went faster than expected, though, so here I am."

"Huh. Okay, then." Sensing something was off about her boss, Aki took off her coat and went to hang it in the back room along with her handbag. When she returned, she sat down in one of the low-back chairs at the counter and studied Tsuki's face. "Maybe I'm imagining it, but you seem more on edge today. Did something happen?"

"Not really. Guess I'm just having a bad day, that's all."

"And… There's no reason as to why that is?"

"Nope."

Her laconic answers made Aki suspect there was more to it than Tsuki was letting on. Still, there must have been a reason why she did not want to share it with her. She thought it best if she busied herself with making sure everything was ready for the first patrons to arrive that evening. All the while, Tsuki remained oddly silent.

"On a different note, I haven't seen Majima in a while," Aki broached the subject once her boss had put out her cigarette and returned behind the counter. "Are you actually worried he won't be coming back? As much as it concerns me, I can't deny that you two seemed to be getting along pretty well last time."

Tsuki glared at her friend the moment she had said his name.

"Of course not. It has nothing to do with him."

In truth, it had everything to do with him, just for a reason different from what Aki was implying. There was no way she would tell her about what had happened, though — the girl would flip her lid, taking it as proof of what she had warned her about. She was alone in this, at least for now, and it did not make it any less frustrating.

"Alright… You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"I do. Thanks," Tsuki smiled weakly.

Since opening Stray, Tsuki could not recall another time she wanted so much for the night to be over already so she could return home. The following two days were her usual days off and, right now, she felt she needed to get away from Kamurocho as soon as possible. Hopefully, it would be enough time for her to collect her thoughts and look at things from a fresh perspective.

It did not take long for the first patrons to begin trickling in. That evening, for the first time since meeting him, Tsuki hoped that Majima would end up not showing.