*Happy Valentine's Day everyone… this is a bit shorter than my usual chapter but I wanted to get something out today. I hope you are all well and thanks for the support… see you next month.
BLT 24
Maura sat in her car, allowing herself a moment of reprieve before heading inside to what would surely be a three-ring-circus of kids hopped up on sugar from all of the Valentine's day treats she was sure they had consumed. She didn't begrudge them the occasional treat on a special day or holiday but Valentine's day was one of the biggest and most headache-inducing for her when it came to her already energetic kids. It didn't help that Jane probably allowed them to continue their sugary adventure after coming home from a day of cupcakes, cookies, and candy at school either.
"Hmmm…" Maura let out a frustrated huff. The thought of Jane brought about a mixed bag of emotions. Love and romance were a few that came to mind but after yesterday's argument, frustration and irritation weren't far behind. Oh, it hadn't been a monument argument by any means, just one that left Maura feeling uncertain and out of sorts most of the day. Running her fingers through her hair, she let out another heavy sigh and frowned at the fact that she was still sitting in the car. It wasn't that she didn't want to be home. In fact, she couldn't wait to get inside and hug Valley and Li… and maybe… apologize to Jane for going off the handle over their not-so-quiet Superbowl Sunday celebration.
Glancing at the bouquet sitting in the empty passenger seat, an overwhelming feeling of regret washed over her and with it, the memory of their fight… or disagreement as she liked to think of it. It was silly really… the fight that is. One thing had led to another and for some reason, everything Jane did set her off in the wrong direction until she couldn't take it anymore. Jane wasn't even sure what had caused it but once it had started, she had grabbed a hold of it and wouldn't let go of it for anything in the world. Maura knew it was Jane's stubborn streak but sometimes it was too much for her to deal with and this was one of those times.
Their day had started like any other Sunday with pancakes topped with strawberries and whipped cream as the kids played nearby. It had been quiet and comfortable and Maura was looking forward to more of that when she came home from her three-hour rotation at the Clinic. But that was not, by any means, what she found upon returning home later that afternoon. Several cars lined the street out front by their driveway and with the heavy feeling of dread growing in the pit of her stomach, she realized it was Superbowl Sunday… a sacred day to Jane and her brothers and Maura hadn't mentally prepared herself for what she was about to walk in to.
She never really understood the grand affair that seemed to take up most of the day and night with beer drinking and endless amounts of junk food. But she did her best to try to understand and accept that there wasn't anything she could do except hang on for the ride. And that was just what she had intended on doing when she stepped through the door after her shift at work but her hormones had other plans.
For some reason, walking into her living room to find Frankie and his family, Tommy and his new girlfriend, Frost, Korsak, and Liam… all drinking and eating on her leather couch over her expensive throw rug lit a fire in her belly that threatened to rage out of control. Unfortunately, the one person who could usually put out that flame turned to her and asked what the big deal was… essentially throwing gas on what was a small fire, turning it into an inferno. And for some reason, Maura didn't understand why she was so angry… she just was, and for Jane to make light of her feelings made it much worse than it should have been.
"What's the problem, Maur?" Jane asked, confusion written all over her face.
"I didn't expect to come home to a house full of people..." Maura said, crossing her arms over her chest in a defensive gesture.
"People?" Jane frowned. "They're family, come on… you knew everyone was coming over to watch the game."
"Well, maybe with all the things I've got on my mind lately… I forgot." Maura huffed.
"How is it my fault that you forgot?" Jane threw her hands up in the air.
"I didn't say it was your fault." Maura furrowed her brow at Jane, feeling her patience slip further away with every second.
"You're sure the hell insinuating it is."
Maura was quiet for a moment as she tried to decide whether to let it go or not, but Jane's tone set off her last nerve changing her mind and forcing her to pursue what she would come to realize was a losing battle. "Why does it always have to be our house that hosts these get together's? I worked today and I just wanted to come home and have a quiet evening with you and the kids."
"So, you want me to throw everyone out?" Jane waved her hands around frantically.
"No…" Maura gave up trying to get Jane to understand because she wasn't sure how Jane could understand something she didn't understand herself. "I just want to take a shower and be left alone for a while." She relented with a heavy sigh as she turned to head upstairs to their bedroom.
"Come on, Maur… don't be like this." Jane tried to implore.
"Be like what? Over worked and tired? I'm sorry I can't be the life of the party. I still have to make cookies for Valley's Valentine's party tomorrow…" Maura's voice trailed off as she thought about the things she had to do.
"Don't worry about that. I'll take care of it."
"You can't just go buy cookies and expect everything to be alright. I promised Valley we'd make them together."
"She'll understand. Besides, she is playing with Noah and I'm sure she's already forgotten about it." Jane tried to reason. "Let me pour you a glass of wine…" she started to say but then stopped when Maura held up her hand.
"You know I can't drink… not with the insemination coming up next week."
"Is that why you're cranky? Because you can't have a drink?" Jane asked.
"No, Jane… I'm not cranky because I can't drink. I'm tired and just want to relax. Unfortunately, I can't do that in the comfort of my own home right now."
"I'll just tell everyone to leave." Jane huffed impatiently.
"Don't do that. You needn't ruin everyone's night with my little meltdown." Maura said and then nodded her head to emphasize she meant what she was saying when Jane looked at her skeptically. "Really… I'll be fine." She said with the wave of her hand as she headed up the stairs. The feeling of uncertainty felt as heavy as the gaze she knew was following her but she was too tired to do anything about it. That would have to wait until later.
And now that later was here, Maura couldn't help but struggle with her feelings of insecurity and uncertainty brought on by the fact that she had slipped out early that morning without saying goodbye to anyone. She didn't like that feeling but she also had expected to hear from Jane sometime… but she hadn't. Not yet. And that feeling of distance was more painful than anything she thought possible. It wasn't often she and Jane allowed a rift to exist between them for very long. She hoped that wasn't about to change.
Taking a deep breath, she reached across the seat and grabbed the flowers she had bought for Jane. The marshmallow pillow stuffed Disney characters the kids wanted were wrapped in small goodie baskets filled with books, crayons, and stickers… no candy though. She figured there was probably enough of that for everyone already without her contributing to the mayhem.
As she made her way to the front door, she stopped and contemplated whether or not she should have stopped and got some take-out from one of their favorite local restaurants… but it was too late for that now. Hopefully, there was something in the fridge she could throw together quickly. Or better yet, maybe Jane had taken care of everything.
With her muddled thoughts still rolling around in her head, Maura finally stepped through the threshold into the entryway hall, and to her surprise, it was quiet. At first, she thought that maybe no one was home but then she recalled seeing Jane's car in the driveway and three sets of shoes were neatly lined up by the front door so that meant she wasn't alone. Tentatively, she moved towards the kitchen until a sound coming from the living room caused her to stop.
"Mommy…" Valley popped up from behind the couch with her arms spread out wide. "Happy Valentime's Day!"
"Hey, sweetheart… Happy Valentines Day to you too. Where are Mama and Li?"
"Right here…" Jane popped up next to Valley with Li next to her, a sheepish grin on her face.
"Mommy!" Li wiggled away from Jane's grip so he could run to Maura. "Dat?" He asked pointing at the goodies Maura was holding.
"Well, I have some presents for you and Valley…" Maura glanced over at Jane with a soft smile. "And Mama too." She said holding up the bouquet.
When her eyes met Jane's, she knew that all was right between them. Jane's crooked grin indicated she was just as sorry for what had happened between them as she was. She waited for Valley to round the couch to stand next to Li and await the moment they could open their presents. Jane stayed where she was however and it drew a curious glance from Maura.
"Um… we have a su-prise for you, Mommy…" Valley reached out to grab Maura by the pant leg to help guide her in to the living room.
To Maura's surprise, there was a large blanket laid out with pizza boxes and containers of salad with plates and all the utensils needed for a picnic. "Is this for me?" She asked.
"We made a picnic…" Valley beamed as she continued to pull Maura along. "Happy Valentime's Day!" She said as she wrapped her arms around Maura's leg and hugged her.
"Dat?" Li asked again, pointing at the presents in Maura's arms. "Dat, Mommy?"
"How about you sit down on the couch and I'll give you your presents so you can open them before we eat." Maura nodded towards the couch.
Valley started to scramble up onto the couch but stopped to help Li. When they were both situated, Maura set their baskets down and then glanced at Jane who mouthed 'I love you and I'm sorry', a small smile curling at her lips. Winking back, Maura acknowledged Jane's apology with one of her own.
"Oh, Mommy… a squishy pillow!" Valley squealed as she pulled her goodies from her basket. Hugging the pillow close she rocked it back and forth, resting her chin on top of it. "I love it soooo much!"
Li watched his sister get excited by what she pulled out of her basket and he didn't want to be left out of the fun. "Squggy…" he hugged his pillow like Valley. "Tank you…"
Valley stopped her exploration of her basket to look at Li and rolled her eyes at the fact that she forgot to say thank you. "Thank you, Mommy…" she said with a sigh. It wasn't often that Li beat her to the punch but today was one of those days. With another sigh, she went back to what she was doing causing a ripple of excitement to move over both her and Li at the prospect of playing with their new art supplies.
For a quiet moment, Jane and Maura watched their kids with fond smiles and warm hearts. It wasn't often that they got to share in quiet moments like these when it came to presents but both Valley and Li were concentrating on their stuff, giving them a slight reprieve.
"Um, so this is for me?" Maura asked tentatively as she glanced over at the picnic set up on the living room floor.
Ducking her head, Jane nodded before looking up into Maura's hazel-green eyes that were filled with uncertainty and regret. "I'm sorry for yesterday. I should have realized it was too much to have everyone over when you worked all weekend and well… I know you've been under some extra pressure lately with the insemination coming up and all." All of the words came out in one long rush of air.
"It's okay… I was just being overly-sensitive." Maura reached out to touch Jane on the arm. "I did agree to your Superbowl get-together… even if I forgot."
"I don't like it when we fight…" Jane turned to Maura with tears in her eyes. "It really sucks."
Maura reached out, wrapped Jane in her arms, and pulled her close into a hug. "I wouldn't call what happened a fight… not really. A strong disagreement… maybe… but not a fight. And I'm sorry for leaving this morning without saying goodbye. I don't know what's wrong with me lately…" Maura started to say, but her voice trailed off because she wasn't exactly sure what it was she was trying to convey.
"I know you're under a lot of pressure… what with work and the insemination coming up soon."
"Yeah, I guess so. What if it doesn't work?" Maura asked as she laid her head on Jane's shoulder taking comfort in being close. She had been worried that she wouldn't be able to get pregnant as quickly as Jane had or worse… maybe she wouldn't be able to get pregnant at all. That thought had weighed heavily on her mind as of late and she hadn't really talked to Jane about it. She realized too late that that had been a huge mistake, leading to their misunderstanding.
"Oh Maur, is that what's been eating at you lately?" Jane pulled back to look Maura in the eyes.
"Maybe…" Maura mumbled as Jane reached for her chin with two fingers to tilt her face up so they could look into each other's eyes.
"No matter what happens… we still have so much already." Jane offered Maura a small smile. "But, I have a really good feeling about this. I think that by next year at this time… we'll have another little Rizzoli-Isles baby in the house."
"By the looks of it, there will be a brood of Rizzoli babies around." Maura's smile was full and genuine this time.
"Besides… all you got to do is lay back and let me do all the work." Jane wiggled her eyebrows and gave an exaggerated wink that caused Maura to laugh.
"I suppose so…" Maura chuckled as she let Jane go so they could continue with their Valentine's day festivities. "I see we've got pizza for dinner."
"We do and I made sure to include a salad and of course your pineapple and ham as well." Jane scrunched up her nose a little. She had loved the sweet and salty taste of the pineapple and ham when she was pregnant but not so much anymore.
"Well, that salad does help to add a little balance…" Maura mumbled as she took in all of the work that went into their picnic.
"And…" Jane reached down into an ice bucket and pulled out a sparkling apple juice and held it out for Maura to examine. "I think we picked a good year…" she grinned as Maura nodded her approval. "I even went all out and got us the blush…"
"You're such a romantic." Maura leaned forward to place a quick kiss on Jane's cheek, causing Valley and Li to giggle. "And for dessert?"
"I got some strawberries, pound cake, and whipped cream…" Jane said proudly.
"Okay, we can do that." Maura smiled to show her appreciation for Jane trying to be a little healthy. Of course, it was far from healthy but at least it wasn't candy.
"And I might have some chocolate sauce for later…" Jane leaned into Maura to whisper in her ear.
The feeling of Jane's lips brushing up against her ear caused Maura to shiver but the words brought a wave of heat with them. "Ummmm… sounds like you have it all planned out. And, I really appreciate it."
"I didn't want you to worry about anything today." Jane suddenly became serious.
"Thank you, my sweet Jane." Maura turned her attention to Jane, feeling mesmerized by the love that radiated off of Jane.
"Hey? Can we eat pizza now?" Valley interrupted the moment causing Jane to clear her throat and laugh.
"Yeah, what movie do you wanna watch or should we let Mommy decide?" Jane asked as she ruffled Valley's honey-blonde hair.
Valley was quiet for a moment as she contemplated the pros and cons of letting her Mommy decide on what movie to watch. "Um, Mommy can pick…" she finally relented, although with a slight reluctance at handing control over to someone who might pick something she didn't like.
"Okay, how about Frozen 2?" Maura said quickly, knowing that it was on heavy rotation in the house.
"Yeah!" Valley cheered as she jumped off the couch and then helped Li. "Let's eat!"
The sudden outburst startled both Jane and Maura who watched as Valley helped her brother get a piece of cheese pizza, adding a few carrot sticks and cucumbers to his plate.
"Mommy, you have to cut Li's pizza for him..." Valley said as she settled next to him with her own plate.
"Okay…" Maura said but before turning her attention to her kids, she held out Jane's flowers. "I got you some flowers." She said with a slight blush.
"They're beautiful. I'll go put them in some water and be right back." Jane said, giving Maura a quick kiss before turning to head to the kitchen.
Maura watched Jane leave the room and a sudden longing washed over her. The apprehension she had been feeling as of late suddenly melted away as she looked around at all the work her family had done to make her feel good… to make her Valentine's Day special. There was no doubt that their home was filled with love… not just today, but every day… and for that… Maura was eternally grateful.