Voyages of the Wild Sea Horse

by rewind gone nuts

Becoming a pirate captain in a fantastical world was never in Ranma's life plans. But when magic strands him in the Grand Blue, he has no choice. With an impish wizard as a guide, Ryoga as his navigator, and a crew made of unwanted fiancees (plus Nabiki), Ranma sets out to find the One Piece and return to Nerima!

8. Chapter 8

Author's Notes: Another year older, and whaddya get? In my case, I get another chapter of Voyages done as a birthday present to all my readers!

As a quick head's up, to those who saw when the original iteration of chapter 7 was released, I actually went back and released a rewritten edition quite some time ago with a more "appropriate" final fight scene between Ranma and Eric. Nothing majorly changed, but just bringing that up so it's known.

And I'm pleased that people bought my explanation for what happens when you specifically mix a Zoan Devil Fruit (Logias and Paramecias wouldn't have the same "overlap") with a Jusenkyo Curse. Though I will point out that some folks are a little quick to attribute things - just because seastone transformed Shampoo, who has both a Devil Fruit and a Jusenkyo Curse, doesn't mean that it will work on Ranma or Ryoga.

Also, because it apparently wasn't as clear as I hoped, seaprism stone has its canonical weakening effects on Shampoo. It just also forces her into full-beast form, which in this case shrank her out of the cuffs.

Also, no, cabbit Shampoo will not develop Ryo-Ohki style powers. She may unlock the ability to breathe fire and hurl energy blasts, but that's just because ki attacks are very flexible, especially if you're a fan of Yuyu Hakusho and Dragon Ball.

Obligatory reminder; there's a TVtropes page for this fic now, so please edit it; I really am looking forward to seeing it get some Moments subpages.

Finally, if any fans of this fic have an artistic streak, I would not turn down arts...

---

Chapter 8: Shakin' Off the Backwater Blues

---

As soon as the Nerimas had stepped onto the deck, Nabiki stepped forward and blocked Ranma off.

"What? What do you want?" Ranma asked warily.

"Now that we're done making sure Shampoo isn't going to explode, can I have her? Please?"

The Chinese Amazon and now part-time cabbit blinked in confusion from her present perch on Ranma's shoulder. "Uh... what you want Shampoo for?"

"You were appointed this crew's doctor, in case you forgot!" Nabiki grumbled, then winced and gingerly clasped her shoulder.

Confused expressions promptly gave way to mass horror as realization reared its ugly head.

"Oh, shit! You're hurt! We forgot all about it!" Ranma blurted, staring at Nabiki in open horror.

"Gee, nice to know you have your priorities straight," the injured girl grumbled.

"No our fault you only weakling on crew," Shampoo retorted. "Come inside, come! Let Shampoo look at you! You girls carry her!"

Nabiki let out a brief squawk as Ukyo and Kodachi swept her up like a bundle of luggage, supporting her effortlessly between them as the rest of the sextet immediately reversed course and swept back inside.

"Well, that was quick," Umok quipped as they came barging back into the common room.

Ignoring him, the Nerimans bustled over to the sleeping area, where Nabiki was laid down on her bed - not roughly, but not under her own power, either. Shampoo abandoned her perch on Ranma's shoulder and scampered over to where they kept the ship's medical supplies, shifting forms as she went from animal to human. Pausing only to sweep a spare greatcoat over her naked body, she grabbed a bag filled with basic nursing gear and then bustled back over to her patient.

"Okay, you show Shampoo what damage is," the Chinese Amazon declared firmly.

Nabiki looked a little hesitant, but glancing up revealed that Ranma and Ryoga had pointedly walked away to give her some privacy. Even Ukyo and Kodachi were looking anywhere but at her. Modesty assuaged, somewhat, the middle Tendo shimmied out of her clothes and exposed her bandaged upper torso to Shampoo.

Shampoo reached down and undid the binding knot that Ukyo had helpfully placed on Nabiki's front rather than her back, allowing her to unwrap her patient. She clicked her tongue at what she saw; a massive bruise that enveloped almost the entirety of Nabiki's torso, blooming outwards from a thin, but mercifully bloodless gash that ran from shoulder almost down to hip.

"This big wound... Nabiki lucky that Eric not want Nabiki dead. Could have chopped Nabiki in half."

"I'm well aware. Can you do anything to fix this?" Nabiki asked, her tone dry as the desert sands at high noon.

"Not much Shampoo can really do. Only have basic medicines. But Shampoo disinfect cut, sew it up, can help numb bruises... Nabiki will be just fine. Not even scar, not when Shampoo done with you."

Despite the confident smile on the Chinese Amazon's face, Nabiki looked less than reassured. In fact, beads of nervous sweat were starting to rise from her brow. "D-disinfect...?"

Wordlessly, Shampoo pulled out a primitive-looking bottle made from thick clay and put it down beside her. The only label it bore was a set of four X marks in a row. When Shampoo tugged the cork free, the harsh scent of raw alcohol made Nabiki's nose twitch, and sent a shiver down her spine.

'Oh, crap...'

Nabiki hadn't been one for getting injured, not like her little sister. But she knew what disinfecting a wound was like, and this wasn't some little paper cut, either!

Shampoo's bestial ear twitched, her newly improved sense of hearing picking up the sub-audible fearful whimper that escaped her patient's throat even if nobody else heard it. Giving no sign she'd heard it, she instead twisted around.

"Airen? You come here; Shampoo need you help."

"Me?" A confused Ranma responded, but he loped over all the same.

"You know move for knock out Nabiki? Great-grandmother say Happosai know that move, but she no teach it to Shampoo."

"Wha-oh, yeah, yeah, I know that trick," Ranma admitted, understanding visibly dawning.

"Hey, I thought you were supposed to be curing me, not making it worse!" Nabiki protested indignantly.

"Shampoo helping you!" the Chinese Amazon protested right back.

"No, having Ranma punch me out cold is the exact opposite of helping!"

"Well, Shampoo can always just go straight to washing out that wound of yours with this... phew, whatever this stuff is!" Ranma interjected, pulling a disgusted face and waving away the fumes from the bottle top he'd just sniffed at.

Nabiki glanced at the bottle and bit her lip, visibly wrestling with her options before she sighed. "...Don't break my jaw, Saotome..."

"I'm not going to punch you! Just roll over the other way, would ya?!"

Nabiki reluctantly rolled so that her back was facing Ranma, who twitched the fingers of his right hand in a way that made his knuckles crack. Kneeling closer, his right hand jabbed out at impossible speed, directing the index into a thrust aimed precisely at a point on the back of Nabiki's neck. The injured Tendo girl's whole body tensed up, and then fell limp, a soft sigh escaping her lips.

"There we are, she'll be out cold for hours," Ranma confidently declared.

"Thank you, airen. Ukyo, Kodachi! You roll Nabiki back over and hold her down, just to be sure," Shampoo ordered, taking the bottle of alcohol and tipping it into a wadded cotton rag.

The other girls did as they were told, and even Ranma couldn't tear himself away as Shampoo began to gently swab the cut left on their crewmate by Eric's razor wind attack. Both he and Shampoo's makeshift assistants winced at the sight of harsh liquor being pressed into sensitive flesh, especially as Nabiki twitched in her enforced slumber.

"Sheesh... all that time in Nerima, and she never took so much as a scratch. Hard to remember sometimes that she's just a frail, ordinary girl..." Ranma muttered.

"I will confess, she wouldn't be my first choice for a crewmate in an endeavor like this," Kodachi observed.

"Yeah, even if I did trust her further than I can throw her," Ukyo added.

"If Akane were here, she'd be letting me have it for letting her get hurt..." Ranma sighed mournfully.

"You had nothing to do with this! It was her stupid plan that put us all in danger under disadvantageous circumstances!" Kodachi reminded her beloved captain.

"That's right, she just got caught up in something she started for once, it wasn't your fault!" Ukyo asserted.

"Doesn't matter, Akane still wouldn't forgive me for letting her get hurt when I was supposed to be the one to look after her... I mean, okay, she did get mad at me for protecting her one time, but Akane wasn't really thinking clearly that night..."

"No can change what happened. Only learn from it and move on," Shampoo absently asserted, finishing with her swabbing. Placing the bundle aside, she took out a sewing needle from her medical bag, before reaching up with her free hand and plucking a single long hair free from her scalp.

"What're you doing that for?!" a surprised Ranma asked.

"Is old trick great-grandmother teach Shampoo. Finer thread make for finer stitching. Shampoo promise Nabiki no have scars, and Shampoo keep that promise," the Chinese Amazon declared, even as she threaded the needle and bent over her patient to begin sewing her shut. She ignored the collective wince from her onlookers as the needle's point first pierced through the loose-hanging skin on both sides of the gash and she began the process of threading through and cross-stitching.

"Once Shampoo done with stitching, Shampoo use Chinese Amazon medicinal shiatsu technique. Will push Nabiki's body, make her heal faster. Not as fast as it would if Nabiki actually trained, but faster than would normally. Nabiki be up and about tomorrow," Shampoo conversationally noted, still bent over her patient and working away.

---

Not long after...

---

"There. Shampoo done all she can. Now is up to Nabiki to rest, recover and heal."

Shampoo stood up from where she had been kneeling at Nabiki's side and stretched until her back gently crickled.

"Thanks, Shampoo. I dunno what we would have done without you."

She turned to Ranma and smiled. "You appoint Shampoo as crew doctor. Shampoo just doing best job she can. So, what now?"

"Now? Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm beat. I wanna grab a bite from the kitchen and hit the sack. We'll figure out where we're going from here tomorrow," Ranma announced, stretching as he did so.

"Sound good to Shampoo."

"Yeah, count me in. We missed lunch, too... lemme see what I can pull together..."

"I shall join you... assuming Ryoga has left anything of the kitchen," Kodachi giggled.

"Ah, Ryoga's got better manners than that," Ranma scoffed playfully, leading his would-be brides over to the kitchen and leaving Nabiki behind to slumber.

---

The next morning...

---

'...I'm not dead?' Was literally the first thought that went through Nabiki's head when she opened her eyes, recollection having forced itself upon her during that weird transitional state between dreaming and wakefulness. She slowly blinked at the daylight filtering through into the Milka's communal room, and gingerly sat up.

"Nabiki! Good morning!"

The brunette shuffled in her bedding to throw a glare at Ranma on principle for his somewhat uncharacteristic perkiness. "Well, you're feeling bubbly this morning..."

Ranma simply shrugged and smiled. "It's a brand new day, we're all alive, and even you are starting to look better; might as well enjoy it while I can."

"Nabiki, how you feeling? Is much pain?" Shampoo interjected from where she was sitting at the dining table.

"Actually... I don't really hurt that much at all," Nabiki confessed, almost reluctantly.

"Wow, Shampoo, you're a pretty good doctor!" Ranma chuckled.

"Thank you, airen! Shampoo have good teacher. Ukyo, give Nabiki breakfast - she need big feed now to keep up her strength."

"Coming right up," Ukyo replied from her typical position at the ship's stove.

"How can you think about feeding me? I was nearly cut in half yesterday!" Nabiki protested unthinkingly, only to be betrayed when her stomach growled in protest, a deep gurgling rumble as loud as a hungry Genma Saotome. The teen's cheeks flushed red in mortification, and she wrapped her arms around her treacherous gut unthinkingly as the full weight of her appetite rudely pushed its way to the forefront of her consciousness.

"Nabiki exaggerate... and Nabiki get special healing treatment. Nabiki need food now, so eat up," Shampoo smugly asserted.

Even as she did so, Ukyo deftly deposited several breakfast okonomiyaki on a plate and quick-stepped over to Nabiki, depositing plate and chopsticks in Nabiki's lap. Nabiki eyed the plate for a moment, but denial had never been her strong suite, and she quickly scooped a serve into her mouth. The instant the flavorful morsel hit her tongue, she moaned hungrily, and quickly took another bite, and then another.

"Whoa, slow down, Nabiki! Don't want you to choke!" Ranma chuckled.

"Oh, what do you care, Saotome?" Nabiki scoffed, even though she did slow down her gorging slightly.

"Hey, I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you!" Ranma promptly retorted.

Nabiki choked and hacked as something promptly slipped down the wrong pipe. As feeble as her martial artist's instincts were, she could sense the sudden smouldering hate pulsing from the other women aboard the ship.

"Wh-what?!" she spluttered, staring at him in horror.

"Akane will kill me if I get back to Nerima and something happened to you, and you know it!" Ranma replied, giving her a bemused look.

The sensation of death's fingers dragging along her spine vanished and Nabiki slumped in relief. 'If that's the case, then why don't you stop trying to give me a heart attack, Saotome?!' she quipped to herself. Unwilling to speak that sentiment aloud, she instead opted for a different response, noting, "You didn't seem so focused on that yesterday..."

"Hey, I was the first to try and protect you after Eric hit you with that attack! And it's not as if you weren't partly to blame for that whole mess!" Ranma shot back.

"Me?! I seem to recall that Kodachi was all for it! And Shampoo certainly changed her mind quickly, too!" Nabiki rejoined.

"Well, I was against it from the start," Ukyo proudly announced. "But seriously, Nabiki, it was still a stupid plan."

"And you all went along with it, so what does that say about you?" Nabiki snapped in response.

"Alright, alright, enough! Let's be honest, it's not the first time Nabiki had a dumb idea that we were somehow dumb enough to get roped into," Ranma interjected. "It's just that this is the first time Nabiki actually got hurt... which is really weird, since Nabiki normally never gets hurt. Akane never really got anything worse than maybe a few bruises when things went wrong for her, but compared to Nabiki, she was practically as much of a punching bag as Mousse..."

"That's because our world made sense!" Nabiki haughtily sniffed. "Speaking of which, where's Umok?"

"He's above deck, steering the ship... you finish your breakfast, and I'll let you go and see him," Ranma replied.

The eldest girl aboard the ship gave him a cool look in reply, but then resumed eating, if with less gusto than she had shown before.

---

Shortly afterwards...

---

"Umok!"

The imp glanced up from where he was reclining in midair before the ship's wheel, seemingly amusing himself by blowing cherry-red smoke rings into a complicated interlacing pattern, as Nabiki led the rest of her fellow humans over. "Well well! Welcome back to the land of the living, Nabiki..."

"Yeah, you're a real laugh-riot... when are you going to send us home?!" Nbiki demanded, fixing the imp with her iciest glare.

Umok just waved her off, ignoring her efforts. "I already told you all; I'll send you back as soon as I have the power to do so, I promise."

"And just when will that be?" Nabiki insistently demanded.

Umok went silent, his cigar suddenly disintegrating in a sudden flare of purple fire. He spat the stub over the railing and sat up, fishing in his pocket for yet another one.

"That's... you really don't wanna know, I'm telling you..." the imp replied softly, not one of his three eyes looking in their direction.

"Yes, we do want to know. It's been five weeks already! How much power have you even built up?" Nabiki demanded.

The bobbing of Umok's cigar was the only sign that he was working his unseen mouth, his three eyes creeping towards the floor. With unusual delicacy for the normally blunt spoken imp, he sighed softly and confessed, "On a percentage scale? Out of the 100% you need, you've managed to restore about zero-point-zero-one percent of my power..."

Nabiki let out a sudden, inarticulate scream of fury, and lunged for Umok, her hands snapping out to fasten themselves around his throat, only to fail as the imp suddenly shot away diagonally as if he were a lure on a giant's fishing pole.

"Not this time, ya BLEEP!" Umok swore triumphantly, palpably sneering down at the Tendo girl, who thrashed as Ranma and Shampoo grabbed her by the arms and forcibly held her back.

"Whoa, settle down, Nabiki!" Ranma cried out.

"You pull your stitches!" Shampoo warned her.

"I don't care! It'll be worth it! Come on, let me throttle the lying little toad!" Nabiki snarled, trying in vain to wrench her arms free of the iron grasp of her wardens.

"What the heck?! This isn't like you, Nabiki! You never acted like this back home!" Ranma chided her, in the startling position of actually needing to brace himself against her frantic yanking.

"That's because our world makes sense! I hate this world! I hate being stuck on this stupid boat, I hate having to constantly sail around, I hate this whole stupid mess! I wanna go home! I miss watching tv, and hanging out with my friends! And unlike you, Ranma, I miss my family!" Nabiki hissed, cheeks red with a mixture of exertion, frustration and embarrassment.

"Hey, look, I understand all that! But Umok's got an explanation for this! Right, Umok?" Ranma asked, snapping his gaze over to the imp.

"Well, of course I do! What, did you think I was BLEEPing you over for no good? Just what the BLEEP would that do for me? I'm stuck here, too!" Umok barked back.

He paused for a particularly deep suck on his cigar before elaborating, "The problem is, you guys haven't really been fighting hard enough to give me any real mojo to tap into-"

"What's that supposed to mean? We've won every fight we've had since we got here!" An indignant Ukyo protested.

"Yeah, but you've won them too easily! Where's the conflict in spraying a mosquito with a flamethrower?" Umok rebutted.

"...This is one of those complicated magic things, isn't it?" Ranma sighed.

"Well, yes. The long and short of it is that the opponents you've been facing here have just been too weak. They're no challenge to you, which means almost no mana for me. And the treasure you've been taking? Practically worthless," the imp explained.

"Hey, we've got almost a million beries!" an indignant Nabiki interjected.

"Bah! Fiscal currency... might as well use it to wipe yourselves with. I need treasure that people care about, something that people attach real emotional investment in! A king's personal treasure, a sacred relic, a legendary lost jewel, the symbol of an empire... stuff that's important! You're trying to pay for a multi-billion beri project by shaking down schoolkids for their lunch money!" Umok scoffed.

The ship fell silent, save for the faint whistle of the ever-present breeze and the creaking of the ship. Finally, Nabiki broke the silence, her voice soft and horrified...

"...We're never getting home, are we?" she whined, all dignity lost in the face of recent events.

"I'm not saying that! But if you want to get home quickly, we need to start going after bigger fish!" Umok shot back.

Ranma blinked, pondering this newly revealed dilemma, when a stray thought flashed a fin. "Hey, Umok? You said that a treasure powers you up based more on how much people want it, right?"

"That is the fundamental idea, yes," Umok replied.

"Well... what if we got our hands on a treasure that's so important, everybody in the whole world has heard of it? A treasure that people have been chasing all over the world for decades now?" The martial artist turned pirate captain said.

"If you could get something like that, then I could send you all home with a snap of my fingers!" Umok declared, pointedly clicking his fingers for emphasis.

"Wonderful! But...where would you find something like that, Ranma darling?" Kodachi asked, giving him a puzzled stare. The other girls were watching Ranma at this point, and even Ryoga was now crouching over them on the mainsail, eavesdropping on everything in fascination.

"Well, I don't know exactly where it is," Ranma admitted, "But I know there's something that fits the bill here..."

"Tell us, Ranchan!"

"It's called the One Piece. I learned about it back on that island where we first started out as pirates, after Becop? Apparently, over twenty years ago, they executed this guy that everybody considered the Pirate King... but they never found his treasure. And before he died, he told the world that it was still out there for the taking. Apparently, the number of pirates jumped up like crazy once he did!"

"If this 'Pirate King' moniker was well-earned, then it sounds like quite the prize," Kodachi conceded.

"And you're only telling us about this now?!" A furious Nabiki demanded.

"Hey, I didn't think it was relevant! We were only supposed to be pirates until Umok could send us home! Plus, from what I was told, this treasure is hidden in one of the most dangerous seas on the planet, and it's being chased by I-don't-know how many really strong pirates, who've all been looking for it ever since the Pirate King got killed! I figured going after them was just asking for trouble that we didn't need," Ranma defended himself.

Nabiki's face contorted as she tried and obviously failed to come up with a rebuttal to Ranma's logic. "...I guess that makes sense..."

"So, we'll set out for this 'One Piece' ourselves then, Captain darling?" Kodachi suggested, grinning at the prospect.

"Not so fast! Yesterday was bad enough! We're going to sit down and talk about this pirate thing before we go any further!" Ranma declared.

"That does make sense," Kodachi declared, with the other female martial artists nodding along.

"Look at you; pity you're only smart like this after you've been kicked around," Nabiki scoffed.

From his perch on the mainsail, having lost interest in the quiet bickering between his rival and the girls below, Ryoga shifted around, stretching complaining muscles. As he did so, something on the horizon caught his eye. He focused, peering into the distance, and then shouted for the rest of the crew.

"Hey, we got a ship dead ahead!"

"Navy, or pirate?" Ranma called up to him.

"Neither! Civilian, I guess... honestly, I'm not sure," Ryoga admitted.

"Whaddya mean, you're not sure?" An incredulous Ranma demanded.

"Take a look for yourself!" Ryoga asserted, gesturing in the appropriate direction.

Curiosity piqued, the teens and the imp all made their way to the railing and looked in the direction where Ryoga, who by this point had returned to the crow's nest, was pointing. What they saw made them stare in dumbfounded wonder.

"...A fish, I can almost understand. A castle, I could understand. But combining the two?" An incredulous Kodachi observed.

"Can you read the name from here, Saotome?" Nabiki asked.

Ranma squinted, focusing his eyes with a few tricks he'd picked up over the years. "Uh... we're a ways off, but it looks like... Sea Restaurant... Baratie?"

"Maybe we should dock with them and get something to eat? We can discuss our future there," Ukyo suggested.

Ranma gave the idea a moment's thought, and then nodded in approval. "Yeah, makes sense to me. Bit of neutral ground never hurt us before... Umok! Steer us to that ship!"

"Your wish is my command," the cigar-chomping imp responded, already handling the steering wheel and altering the Milka's course.

Of course, one of the drawbacks of wind-powered travel was that traveling was never that simple. It took well over an hour for the caravel to come into close proximity to the Baratie, by which point the teens had all changed into slightly more formal clothing for dining. Up close revealed the true scale and wonder of the Baratie; a ship that served as little more than the foundation for a multi-storey, octagonal building that floated along with the aid of three sets of sail-bearing masts, its front home to a massive figurehead in the shape of a gaping-mouthed fish. Other ships floated in close proximity, mostly small caravels and similarly small ocean-faring vessels, bearing a veritable library of different flags.

"A seafaring restaurant... well, I guess it makes sense," Ranma observed as they guided the Milka in close, Ryoga tossing the anchor overboard once Ranma gave him the signal.

"I can't wait to see what it's like inside! They must have some really creative chefs," Ukyo cheerfully announced.

"I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time... tell me all about it after-urk!" Umok found his lazy drift away from the group arrested as Kodachi's whip coiled around his waist with the grace of an octopus and bodily yanked him into arm's reach.

"Oh, no-no-no! You're coming in with us this time! We've had quite enough of you skulking around in the background and dropping whatever titbits you feel we need!" The heiress hissed, her voice sweet as poisoned honey.

"It's not like you've really needed my help!" Umok protested, but he didn't try to escape.

"So, how are we getting over there, anyway?" Nabiki interjected, looking over at the small, dock-like protrusion jutting out from the deck on the same level as what was clearly the restaurant's main door.

"Well, we could wrestle with the lifeboat and row ourselves over there... or, we could do things the easy way," Ranma replied cheerfully.

"What easy wa-haay!?"

Ordinarily, Nabiki would have sneered at the idea of using the phrase "getting her feet swept out from under her". But when Ranma literally did that, scooping her up into a bridal carry before springing into the air, forcing her to instinctively clutch his shirt and bury her face into his chest for security, it was hard to think of any other way to describe it. Her startled scream trailed through the air for what felt simultaneously like an eternity of embarrassment and only an instant before he touched down softly as a falling feather on the deck of the Baratie.

"Thank you for traveling Air Saotome; we look forward to your return business," Ranma quipped, not even remotely ashamed of what he'd just done.

"You're a real comedian, Saotome," was Nabiki's response, delivered with all of her characteristic dryness. She glanced up at him from her position in his arms. 'How can one guy be both so annoying and so cute? ...Wait, where did that come from?! Focus, Nabiki!'

"You can put me down now," she insisted, only for deja vu to suddenly blare its warning in the back of her mind. "No, wait-!"

It turned out that her protest was unnecessary; instead of dropping her like a sack of potatoes, the way he'd done the last time they'd ended up in this position, Ranma gently swung her down to her feet and let her go. Even as he was doing that, the rest of their crew landed with similar deftness on the Baratie's deck, and Nabiki quickly stepped away from Ranma.

"What a marvelous place! Truly, the owner of this vessel has quite the unique vision!" Kodachi marveled as she took in the distinctive style of the floating restaurant.

"I'm more curious about how the cooking stacks up, myself," Ukyo quipped, but even she was admiring the decore.

"So, we're agreed, then? We'll try not to get thrown out until after we've eaten?" Ranma jokingly announced.

"Just how bad do you think we are, Saotome? Even we can't get in trouble by accident that fast," Ryoga scoffed.

The septet pushed open the swinging doors and stepped on through into the restaurant proper, where they found themselves greeted by a vision of elegance. White marble tiles made up the floor as far as the eye could see, with large windows flanked by tasteful curtains letting in plenty of sunshine and fresh sea breezes. Comfortable-looking tables and chairs dotted the space like miniature islands, all centered around a round brick pillar that served as the mount for a spiralling staircase that led up to the higher decks.

"Wow, fancy," Ranma marveled.

"Reminds Shampoo of Nekohanten," the Chinese Amazon sighed wistfully.

"Which I suppose makes this guy the equivalent of Mousse?" Nabiki mischievously interjected.

Her words drew the crew's attention from the layout of the restaurant to the figure approaching them; a tall, barrel-chested, thuggish-looking man dressed in a navy-blue, short-sleeved shirt. His large, pear-shaped head was shaven down to a thick stubble, with a white rope tied around his forehead against sweat. Small, beady eyes unflinchingly took in the six teenagers and their inhuman dinner guest, large-lipped mouth with its distinctive framing of close-cropped moustache and unusually-shaved beard suddenly turning up into a massive smile.

"Well, hello there, you damn crooks!" he thundered at the top of his lungs.

You could have heard a pin drop as the insult echoed through the restaurant.

"Excuse me?" an aggrieved Kodachi responded in her iciest tone, the other girls on the crew bristling beside her.

The stranger's somewhat manic grin never even wavered. If anything, it got even more intense. "Welcome to the Baratie, home of the finest dining and the fiercest fighting cooks in all the East Blue! Hope you suckers got the cash!"

"Just what kind of customer service do you call this!?" an appalled Nabiki demanded.

A vein visibly throbbed in the stranger's temple, his massive smile revealing that his teeth were gritting themselves in anger. "Customer service with a smile! The Baratie prides itself on it! So welcome once again, you squid-faced rat-eyed flat-chested bast-ICH!"

And that was when the Nerimans were reminded that, despite the usual differences in their temperaments, Nabiki was still Akane's sister as her foot planted itself solidly in the greeter's groin. His eyes bulged wide and his voice shrilled like somebody dragging a steel fork over fine china as he clutched himself and fell to his knees.

"I'll have you know I am perfectly proportioned for a girl of my background!" Nabiki spat at the cringing greeter.

"That's what you're angry about?!" a dumbfounded Ukyo blurted out.

"There's more of your sister in you than you let on, isn't there?" Ranma dryly observed, marveling at the similarities.

"Oh, no, Patty! What are you assholes doing?!" roared a new voice, and the teens looked up as a second man came sprinting across the floor in their direction. This newcomer looked just as thuggish as his predecessor, with a muscular build, thick jawline covered in dense mat of stubble, oft-broken nose and dark sunglasses.

"Hey, blame it on this guy! We walked in and he just started insulting us for no reason!" Ranma snapped, instinctively stepping to the fore to shield the others.

A reaction that, it turned out, was unwarranted. The newcomer visibly deflated, shaking his head in exasperation. "Oh, Patty... sorry, kids; he's harmless, really, he's just got no filter on his mouth. He tends to spew garbage whenever he talks. So long as you're paying customers, though, we have no problem."

"Then it's a good thing that's exactly what we are... I'd hate to wreck this place for no reason," Ranma replied.

The newcomer twitched, but visibly ignored the bait. "Anyway, I'm Carne, and I guess I'll be your server today... Patty, you get back upstairs and get back to work, I'll take over here."

"S-screw you, butcher boy!" the whimpering chef hissed from his spot on the floor.

Ignoring him, the newly-named 'Carne' turned his attention back to Ranma's crew. "Table for seven? We should be able to squeeze you in over here..."

They followed him over to a window table, and promptly sat down, save for Umok, who simply floated lazily in the air next to the table and waved off Carne's instinctive attempt to go for a chair for the little imp.

"Here's some copies of our menus; I'll take your order when you're ready," Carne declared, handing them the sheets before bustling off.

"I can't tell if that guy's the waiter or a cook," Ryoga muttered.

"Looks to me like he's pulling double-duty," Ranma mumbled in response, already busily scanning his menu.

"Wow, is so many options..." Shampoo observed.

"Reminds me of a French restaurant, with a secondary emphasis on seafood dishes," Kodachi mused.

"Well, I know what I'm getting... you going to bite the bullet and get yourself a sundae, Saotome?" Nabiki asked, quirking an eyebrow as she glanced at (her savior) the bane of her recent life over her menu.

"S-sundae? Me? Whatever makes you think I'd want something like that?" Ranma asked, his desperate efforts to play it cool only ensuring that all of the other teenagers focused their attention on him and Nabiki.

"Oh, a little birdy told me just how much of an ice cream fanatic you are... It's not like it's really a secret back home," Nabiki playfully quipped.

"First Shampoo hear of this."

"Yeah, me too."

"Well, living with Ranma does have its advantages," Nabiki explained, shrugging nonchalantly.

"E-even if I did want ice cream, I'm not going to turn into a girl in front of all these strangers!" Ranma hissed defensively.

"So don't. Just get the ice cream," Nabiki shot back.

"I can't do that! You know guys don't eat ice cream!" Ranma spat, then paled as he realized he'd blurted that out where the others could hear him... and all four of them were now directing incredulous stares at their captain.

"...I've never thought you were that bright, Ranma, but sheesh, that's dumb even for you," Ryoga declared.

"If this is a joke, Ranma-darling, then I must confess that I fail to see the humor in it," Kodachi admitted.

"That's because the only joke here is that Ranma actually believes that old-fashioned rubbish about real men hating anything sweet or sugary," Nabiki chimed in, openly amused as she did so.

"...Where you hear stupid idea like that?" an incredulous Shampoo demanded.

"...My old man," Ranma muttered, unable to meet the probing stares of his peers.

A chorus of understanding exclamations rippled around the table, with Ukyo shaking her head. "Genma... gotta say, Ranchan, getting stuck with your dad as a father-in-law isn't going to be the highlight of our marriage."

"Come now, Mr. Saotome has his foibles, but he's not all bad," Kodachi chided her.

"Of course you'd say that; we've all met your father," Ukyo shot back.

"Shampoo hasn't..." the confused Chinese Amazon confessed, her attention shifting between her rivals.

"Think that old freak, Happosai, if he wasn't so much a pervert as just a jerk who liked messing with people," Ranma explained.

"And also with a really creepy hair-cutting obsession," Ukyo added, shivering before brushing her long, flowing ponytail with her hands, as if reassuring herself it was still there.

"Parental oddities aside... Ranma-darling, it's entirely up to you what you order, but I must point out that it is rather foolish to deny yourself a food you love simply because you worry about how others will perceive you. You are a strong, proud, powerful martial artist; what care should you have for the opinions of the worms surrounding you?" Kodachi chided him.

"Not to mention, your old man probably only told you that so he could keep it for himself, anyway," a disdainful Ukyo interjected.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with the girls, Ranma. Your old man's an idiot, and I eat ice cream all the time - it doesn't make me any less of a man!" Ryoga bragged.

Ranma weighed their words over in his mind, wrestling with the decision. Finally, he nodded to himself and asked, "You guys ready to order?"

Upon receiving their chorus of affirmations, he beckoned to Carne, who marched briskly over to their table. "Yeah? What will you be having?"

"I'll be having the...the three-scoop ice cream sundae," Ranma forced himself to say. 'Kami, please let me not be blushing!'

"Same here," Ryoga interjected, with far greater confidence than his rival and a smug grin that showed he was well aware of it.

"I will have a slice of your clafoutis, please," Kodachi stated politely.

"And I'll have the...uh...religi-oosy?" Ukyo asked, stumbling over the unfamiliar word and blushing with embarrassment at her linguistic fumble.

"She means the religieuse," Kodachi interjected, Ukyo throwing her a glance of equal parts irritation and gratitude as Carne scribbled his notes down.

"Shampoo will try a floating island, please," the Chinese Amazon stated proudly and confidently.

"And you, Mr. Floaty?" Carne asked, turning to the imp.

"Huh?! Me?! I-I'm not," Umok spluttered.

"Oh, go ahead and get something, Umok, you can't live on cigars and hate all the time," Ranma drawled.

"That's a gross oversimplification... but, very well. I'll have the sweet and savory petit four tasting platter, thank you."

"And you, miss?" Carne asked, turning to Nabiki, the last to order.

"I'll have... one of everything from the desserts menu," Nabiki declared triumphantly.

Two boys, three girls and an imp snapped their heads around to stare in shock at Nabiki, chorusing as one, "What?!"

"Hey, I was nearly split open yesterday! You can't deny a girl her comfort food!" Nabiki defensively shot back in the face of the startlement from her companions.

"Okay, if you're sure about that... I'm sure Patty will just love hearing this order," Carne muttered to himself, scribbling down the last of his notes before briskly heading away towards the central staircase.

That left six teenagers and one magical imp sitting at a table together in a slightly awkward silence. Which wasn't entirely unfamiliar, but more pronounced, since at least on the Milka they could bicker, argue, and even low-level brawl without worrying about being judged, which they couldn't do in the public eye of a restaurant.

Fortunately, they didn't have long to wait, as the shaven-headed thug - correction, shaven-headed cook from before, Patty, came down to their table with a serving cart. Visibly forcing himself to smile, he pulled up at their table and began dispensing their orders with practiced ease.

"Two triple-scoop ice cream sundaes... a sweet 'n' savory petit four tasting platter... a floating island... one slice of clafoutis, and one serve of religieuse... And for you..."

Here, he turned to Nabiki, giving her a wicked smirk. "Your order is right here!"

He beckoned with a wide-flung arm, grinning nastily as three more cooks suddenly converged on the table, each pushing a cart groaning with plates, bowls and tureens, which they began to pile onto the table in an ever-growing crowd around the startled girl.

"Wha-? The dessert menu isn't this large!" the dumbfounded Nabiki protested.

"Our daily menu isn't this large, true... but, as the head patissier, I felt that, in light of our first meeting, you deserved a little extra care, because the customer is king here at the Baratie! So, here's one of every single dessert item that would be on the menu for the next week!" Patty grinned evilly, beady eyes boring into Nabiki's soul.

"And, of course, you know the rules of the Baratie..." he added, even as the last of the sweets, pastries and desserts were piled onto Nabiki's groaning portion of the table.

"Uh... no shirt, no shoes, no service?" Ranma interjected.

"No, stupid! Haven't you heard of the Baratie before?" Patty scornfully rebutted.

"No, but I figure you're going to tell us," Ranma shot back.

"Well, the head chef and founder of the Baratie is none other than Red Leg Zeff - he was a famous pirate, back in the day, even sailed the Grand Line! But he had to give up his dreams when his ship was sunk and his crew drowned during a terrible storm! Boss Zeff was stranded and nearly died of starvation, even after he chopped off his own leg and ate it! When he made it back to civilization, he founded this very restaurant, with two rules to be held sacred above all others: we'll feed anyone who's hungry... and don't you dare waste food here, not unless you want to feel the wrath of Red Leg Zeff! Now, enjoy your meals, ya squid-bastards!"

Cackling wildly, Patty strolled briskly back towards the staircase to the kitchen, leaving a dumbfounded group in his wake.

Nabiki in particular had gone pale as a sheet, eyes racing wildly over the impressive array of dishes now spread before her.

"A subtle form of vengeance," Kodachi observed demurely.

"I call it stupid..." Ukyo muttered.

"Oh, I don't disagree, but you must concede that it plays to yon malefactor's strengths and occupation quite effectively," the uppercrust girl responded.

Nabiki moaned in disbelief and shook her head. "Why does this stupid world seem to be out to get me?"

"Ah, don't make such a big deal out of it, Nabiki. We'll take care of it for you," Ranma observed, already taking his first hesitant spoonful of ice cream.

And just like that, Nabiki found her despair pushed aside by irritation.

'...Do you practice trying to sound as condescending as possible when you have to be compassionate, Saotome, or is it just natural talent?' Nabiki thought to herself. What emerged from her mouth, however...

"And who says I need your help? It's just a bunch of desserts, I'm not that much of a damsel in distress!"

'Wait... what am I saying?! I can't eat all this!'

Ranma just laughed. "You're such a kidder, Nabiki! Never knew you could be so funny!"

"There's a lot about me you don't know, Saotome," she shot back.

"But he's right about this; you'd burst if you tried to eat all that on your own," Ukyo interjected.

Ryoga snorted in amusement at the crossdresser's words. "I'd pay good money to see her try, though."

Kodachi laughed outright. "I agree! It sounds like it would be most amusing!"

At those words, Nabiki's eyes flicked back to her unintended bounty with a calculating expression. 'Pay me? Now, that changes things...'

"How much would you be willing to bet?" Nabiki purred.

"Uh...Nabiki..." Ranma tried to interject.

Ryoga drowned him out, however. "A thousand beries!"

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you actually were taking this seriously..."

"I will see our first mate's bet and add a week's worth of exemptions from laundry duty," Kodachi interjected smoothly.

"I'll add a thousand beries and a week's freedom from dishwashing duty," Ukyo added.

"And Shampoo wager a thousand beries too! ...Not sure what else to bet," the Chinese Amazon confessed, her ears hanging low in her despair.

"Would you be willing to let me dress up your cabbit form for the week?" Nabiki suggested. '...Okay, so maybe Akane wasn't the only one of us who always wanted a pet, but there's no way-'

"Okay, Shampoo bet that then!" came the cheerful response.

'...She must really be confident I'm going to either turn this down or lose...'

Once again, Nabiki's gaze swept thoughtfully over the delicious bounty arrayed before her, pride wrestling with greed and common sense as the wild card. Finally, she made her decision.

"Challenge... accepted," she declared, purposefully taking up her knife and fork. She snagged the closest plate, a pain au chocolat, and began carving it up into bite-sized portions, methodically devouring each delicious mouthful of flaky pastry and still-warm chocolate. Within moments, it was gone and she was moving on to the first of a plateful of profiteroles.

Whilst Nabiki was distracted, a disconcerted Ranma nudged Ryoga with his elbow, before whispering to him, "What the heck was that about?! You didn't need to make fun of her like that!"

"Ah, give it a rest, Saotome, it's not like it can actually hurt her! She'll eat until she's embarrassed herself, then we'll take over and finish off the leftovers," Ryoga scoffed.

"Agreed. Besides, it's about time our resident Tendo had her ego trimmed to measure," Kodachi interjected in the same whispery tones.

"Yeah; always likes to pretend she's so much better 'n' us, treats what we do as games for her amusement... let's see how she likes it with the shoe on the other foot!" Ukyo hissed.

'I... can't really fault that logic. Besides, it's just food, and food never hurt anybody... well, unless Kodachi poisoned it, or Ucchan put a bomb inside of it, or Shampoo put weird Chinese alchemy in it... why do I know so many girls who do nasty things with food?' Ranma puzzled to himself.

Silence fell over the table as the septet all turned their attention fully to eating their orders. The five teens who weren't named Nabiki Tendo all leisurely polished off their singular order, savoring the tasty treats and preparing themselves for a sizable second course. Which meant that, all too soon, they were just sitting around and waiting as they watched Nabiki methodically work her way through her monstrous meal.

And thus they waited. And waited. And waited some more...

"...Gotta admit, she's doing better than I expected," Ranma conceded in a whisper, watching as Nabiki shoveled the last of a bowl of creme brulee into her mouth before swallowing it all, then polished off a plate of macarons before going for a slice of tarte tatin.

"...Where she putting it all?" Shampoo asked, equal parts curious, impressed and appalled, her emotions causing her to wonder aloud at a higher volume than she'd intended.

Nabiki made no sign that she'd heard her, instead devouring an eclair that she held up in her right hand. Surreptitiously, her left hand crept under the table to desperately unbutton her pants. It took far more fumbling effort than she'd anticipated, and she had to fight back a sign of relief once it finally came undone and the fabric stopped pressing so tightly against her engorged stomach.

'Ohhh... so full...but I've got to keep going. I'm not taking over extra shifts of laundry and dishwashing duty for the week! Come on, Nabiki, you're halfway there...just... keep... eating!'

On and on Nabiki continued to gorge, steadily devouring everything on her side of the table, even as her increasingly dumbfounded crew watched her in amazement. Finally, it was down to the last religieuse; bleary-eyed and more than a little green around the gills, Nabiki reached out with her sugar-smeared fingers and plucked up the smaller of the two ganache-covered, creme-stuffed choux pastries. Breaking the seal of piped cream that linked it to its larger partner, she slowly stuffed it into her mouth, chewing with weary resolution. Two hard swallows and her mouth was empty, letting her reach for the last morsel.

Her companions held their breath as Nabiki sloppily tore into the pastry, ganache and creme smearing on her lips as she forced down bite after bite. But, incredibly, she managed to put away every last mouthful before slumping back in her seat with a deep moan of equal parts exhaustion and relief. Unthinkingly, her hands slipped under the table to clasp her stomach, gently rubbing her belly in an effort to release some of the painful tension in the wake of her titanic meal whilst she panted softly.

'Oh... mother... I can't believe I did that... so yummy... so full! Kami, my stomach..'

It probably wouldn't have done Nabiki's scattered train of thought to realize she was so full that her stomach had visibly distended, ballooned into a tight little potbelly just big enough to make her shirt ride up.

With her victory in hand, though, the tension hanging over her table suddenly drained away as if a dam had been broken.

Ranma laughed and shook his head in blatant disbelief. "That was... wow, Nabiki, you showed us! I've never seen anyone eat like that outside of Martial Arts Dining! What a feat!"

"And this coming from someone who once ate four seven-course meals all at once," Kodachi observed wryly.

A nervous Shampoo nudged Ukyo, whispering to her rival, "You no think airen just find some kind of kink...?"

"No way! I mean, if it was Genma, maybe, but Ranma's not like that!" A visibly perturbed Ukyo hissed back.

Ignorant of the ripples his words were sparking in the crew, Ranma fished into his pocket and took out a thousand beries in notes, which he placed on the table within Nabiki's reach. "You earned this alright, Nabiki."

Silence hung heavily over the table, before a visibly irked Ranma pointedly coughed and glared at each of the other teens, forcing them to fork over their thousand beri bundles in turn, producing a fairly meaty-looking stack on the table in front of Nabiki.

'...Is that actual respect? From Ranma? Or am I dreaming?' Nabiki blinked uncertainly, looking from the money to her technically captain and back again. Then, buoyed by a flash flag of self esteem and more than a little sugar rush, she decided to channel her inner Kodachi. She sat up straight and proud in her chair, ignoring the peculiar drag around her middle as she did, looked Ranma squarely in the eye, and put on her wickedest grin, even as she deftly snatched up the beries.

"But of course I did! This world may have thrown me a few curveballs, but I'm still Nabiki Tendo, and don't you forget it! OHHHHHHH-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-HURRRPP!"

As the final echoes of that titanic belch bounced off the distant walls, and amused grins slowly blossomed on the faces of her crewmates, Nabiki's cheeks went red, the hand that had previously been poised beneath her chin in the iconic ojou-sama style slapping itself over her lips in a futile effort at genteelness. "...Excuse me," she miserably squeaked out.

'Why, why can't I get a win, just once?' she sobbed in the privacy of her own head, eyes burning with tears that she fought to keep from shedding.

"I should think so - that laugh was the worst I'd ever heard," an affronted Kodachi sternly declared.

"Well, I guess you really might be one of us after all," Ranma announced casually, something that drew attention away from the mortified Nabiki and onto him instead.

"Come again, Ranchan?" a confused Ukyo asked.

"She just made herself look stupid by accepting a ridiculous challenge, all for the sake of soothing her own ego. It's just the kind of thing we do all the time as martial artists," the cheerful captain flippantly explained.

"That's more a you thing than an us thing!" an indignant Ryoga shot back.

"Didn't you once try to get lost in a haunted tunnel forever to make Akane fall in love with you?" Ukyo sarcastically pointed out.

"N-no, I didn't!" Ryoga blustered.

"You lying jerk, I was there, remember!"

"Maybe Ryoga that stupid, but Shampoo not do silly things like that."

"And just what do you call those stunts with Maomolin, huh, Shampoo?"

"Th-that only happen because Ranma be too-too- fickle!"

As her crewmates descended into one of their usual bickering fests, Nabiki sat back in her seat and sighed hugely in relief. 'Good thing they're so short-sighted... the girls back at Furinkan would have eaten me alive for a social faux pas like that! Kami, I have to get back there soon, I'm losing all my edge dealing with lunatics who don't give a damn about the social graces!'

Before the verbal free-for-all could intensify towards its final state, which would be when somebody would take a swing at somebody, a loud, deliberate cough pierced through the bickering and drew the attention of the teens.

"I trust that you enjoyed your meals?" Growled the man, a towering figure whose ridiculously enormous chef's hat nearly doubled his already impressive height. Eyes that burned like candle flames glared down at them over an impressively large, aquiline nose, made all the more remarkable by the long, stiffly braided blonde moustache he sported, which almost made a mockery of the thick goatee dangling beneath his chin. Where his right leg should have been, a peg leg that would have made a decent battle club thumped against the deck, but his poise was completely undiminished by his obvious disfigurement.

In fact, to the trained eyes of the martial artists present, the stranger practically radiated physical menace.

"Head chef Zeff, I presume?" Ranma replied coolly, sizing the figure up as he always did. 'This guy looks like he might actually offer a real fight, if things go that way...'

"That's me. So, I take it from your rowdiness that you're enjoying the food here on the sea restaurant Baratie?" The newly-identified ex-pirate rumbled... it didn't even really seem like he was that angry, yet, so much as that he didn't know how to speak in anything other than growls and snarls.

"The food was most excellent; truly, my compliments to the chefs for their marvelous work," Kodachi crooned in delight, with the others chiming in for similar sentiment, something that elicited the faintest smile of pride on Zeff's craggy features.

"Yeah, and we ate it all, so you leave Nabiki alone," Ranma interjected.

Nabiki winced from a simultaneous pang of protest from her over-laden stomach and a flush of embarrassment. She pointedly looked away from Zeff, trying to watch him surreptitiously from the corner of her eye and stifling a belch. 'Why do you have to keep standing up for me, Saotome? Especially when you always seem to make it worse by trying?!'

Ranma's words knocked the faint smile from the head chef's features, replacing it with an only slightly more evident expression of confusion. "Excuse me...?"

"Don't play dumb; your patisi-whatsit-"

"Patissier, Ranma darling; it means a cook specialized in pastries," Kodachi interjected.

"Thanks, Kodachi. Anyway, your patissier Patty already had his little fun, giving Nabiki way more food than she ordered before telling us about how you treat guests who don't finish their meals. Well, she ate it all, so you don't have any grounds to pick a fight with her, understand?" Ranma coldly declared.

Zeff's gaze shifted the defiant young captain glaring up at him to the visibly uncomfortable brunette at the table and then back again. His dark expression grew, if anything, stormier than before. "I see... Patty has been running his mouth off again. I assure you that he was taking liberties, and he will be disciplined for the matter."

The ex-pirate captain emphasized his words by shifting his weight, the tip of his peg-leg rising and then slamming into the tile with an ominous clack of wood on the tile.

Ranma watched Zeff, trying to see if he might be deceptive - he was too used to the adults in his life being manipulative dicks to ever just trust one blindly. But, it seemed like the head chef was actually sincere, and that in turn caused Ranma to relax. "Okay... sorry, just looking out for my crew. Actually... you used to be a pirate captain yourself, or so I hear?"

"That's right. It was long ago," Zeff bluntly responded.

"Well, we're trying to start out in the pirate business ourselves, and we could really use some advice from somebody who's been down the track before," Ranma confessed.

Those words elicited the greatest crack in Zeff's icy veneer, as open confusion spread across his craggy face. "...What? How could somebody need pirate lessons?"

"We...we're from a really, really remote part of the world. We don't actually know that much about how to be pirates," an embarrassed Ranma admitted.

"Besides, we heard you've sailed the Grand Line, so we figured you'd be good to ask about it," Ryoga interjected.

"The Grand Line? You pups are too wet behind the ears to even think of going there!" Zeff scoffed.

"Hey, we're stronger than we look!" an indignant Ranma barked back.

"Bah! Do you even know the first thing about the Grand Line?! How were you expecting to get there?" Zeff thundered.

"Well, sail from wherever we are straight to the Line; we have maps," Ranma admitted.

"You can't just sail into the Grand Line! The Calm Belts will kill you! There's only one place in the world where you can enter the Grand Line, and that's Reverse Mountain!" Zeff spat, stamping his peg-leg for emphasis.

"See, that's exactly the kind of thing we wanted to ask you!" Ranma shot back.

"I'm busy, brat! I've got a kitchen to run, and customers to serve!" Zeff rejoined.

Seeing Ranma sucking in breath for something that would doubtlessly only make things worse, Nabiki hastily interjected, "We would be happy to come back after the restaurant is closed to learn, Mr. Zeff."

"And we'd naturally pay for the privilege," Kodachi added, making Nabiki flinch in shock.

"Hmph. Well..." Zeff muttered, tugging thoughtfully on the two massive braids of his moustache. Then he shook his head. "This would take more than a single night's lecturing, if you're as green as you'd say!"

"Well, we could work here at the restaurant until the lessons are done," Ryoga suggested.

"...Y'know what, pig-boy? That's actually not a bad idea!" Ranma admitted, grinning at his rival, who scowled hatefully back.

"And what makes you think you could even handle the work here?" Zeff interjected.

Ranma simply pointed to his crew in turn, starting with Ukyo. "Professional cook." Then to Shampoo. "Professional waitress and delivery girl, also an excellent cook." Then to Kodachi. "Great cook, quick, acrobatic, she'd make a decent waitress." Pointing at Ryoga. "You can probably make some kind of choreboy out of him, just don't expect him to be any good at delivering stuff."

"Screw you, Saotome!" Ryoga spat.

Ignoring him, Ranma pointed to Nabiki. "Her? Well, I don't really know. She could probably make it as a waitress, or at least a choregirl."

"Gee, thanks, Ranma," Nabiki deadpanned.

Ranma ignored her, simply staring Zeff in the eye as he concluded, "And me? I can do anything you need, be it choreboy or waiter."

"Or a cute little waitress, if need be," Nabiki interjected, smirking as Ranma flinched at the reminder of one of his most frequent unwanted jobs in Nerima.

"Hmph... well..." Zeff tugged his mustache-braids yet again, visibly thinking it over. "Ah, to hell with it. Come back tonight, then we'll see just how green you young pups are."

"Well... thanks!" Ranma blurted. 'Huh, an old man who's actually useful for once. Will wonders never cease?'

"Why'd you change your mind?" a cautious Ryoga questioned Zeff.

"Damn me for a soft-hearted fool, but I can recognize stubborn youths when I see 'em! If I can stop you from throwing your lives away, well, the least I can do is try and steer you straight," the chef bluntly retorted.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my kitchen... and if you're not going to order a second course-"

"No!" Nabiki blurted frantically, quivering at the thought of yet more food, clamping her hands over her mouth to muffle a belch.

"Then please don't linger too long, we'll need that table for other customers," Zeff continued, ignoring her. Without waiting for any reply, he spun around and walked away, moving swiftly and surely despite the way his peg clicked and clacked across the marble tiling.

"...So, now what are you going to do?" a bemused Umok asked, once Zeff had disappeared up the central staircase.

"Well, unless you girls wanna order a second round..." Ranma began.

Nabiki somehow managed to burp miserably, whilst the others shook their heads. "I think my appetite is quite curtailed for the moment, Ranma darling," Kodachi spoke up lightly.

"Then I guess we'll go back to the ship and talk; I'd rather not pick a fight with that guy if I can avoid it," Ranma declared.

"You noticed it too, huh?" Ryoga asked.

"Yeah... that was without a doubt the strongest guy we've seen since we came here," Ranma concluded.

As if to punctate their words, the ceiling above suddenly shivered, the muffled but distinct sound of somebody being literally hammered into the floor making all of the teenagers look up. Whilst the dense wood drowned out the words, they could just make out Zeff's angry voice barking at somebody in the kitchen - doubtlessly the unfortunate Patty.

Six chairs scraped across the tiles as six teens pushed away from the table and stood up. Which of course let Nabiki's 'little secret' out of the bag...

"So that where you putting it all!" Shampoo giggled.

"Congratulations, Nabiki, it's a food baby!" Ukyo chimed in, grinning with an unusually sadistic smile.

"And probably a good six to eight dress sizes in the making," Kodachi added, with the expert opinion of a girl used to watching her every calorie, an unfortunate necessity when one spent so much of one's life in a leotard.

The mortified Nabiki hung her head, trying in vain to tug her shirt down over her swollen stomach.

"Ah, lay off, girls," Ranma said, stepping in between them.

"Ranma?!" four startled women responded.

"A joke's a joke, but let's not forget we've still gotta sail together, and we might be sailing together for a long time. No need to be jerks, okay?" Ranma replied, still in the same conversational tone. Before Nabiki could process his intentions, he snatched her up into his arms in a bridal carry before walking away, leaving the rest of his startled crew behind.

"Since when does Ranma like Nabiki enough to protect her?!" an incredulous Ryoga voiced what they were all thinking.

"Do you think she's blackmailing him somehow?" Ukyo suggested.

"With what? She's been completely out of her element since our voyage began, as yesterday's escapades proved," Kodachi countered.

"Maybe, just maybe, it's because Ranma doesn't like bullies on principle?" Umok suggested.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" an indignant Ukyo demanded, glaring at the imp.

"Figure it out," the imp spat back, before lazily drifting away through the air in the direction of the door.

As Ryoga fell in behind Umok, the three girls left behind shared uneasy looks with each other, digesting the possible implications of what the imp had suggested about their little relationship knot.

Outside, Nabiki was staring up at Ranma with confusion, to the point he finally broke the silence and glanced back down at her, ignoring the other customers giving bemused looks at the apparently pregnant girl being carried like a bride.

"What is it, Nabiki?"

"...Why did you do that?" she asked softly.

"Do what?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Saotome!" she snapped, glaring up at him. "I know I'm not your favorite person in the world!"

"I'm not that fond of any of you, really. Well, maybe Ucchan," he pointed out conversationally.

"Even so..."

"Even so, that doesn't mean I'll just let any of you try and bully each other. I don't expect you to be perfect little angels all the time, but there's a difference between having fun and just being mean, and if you guys get too caught up in being mean, it's only going to make life worse for us. If I'm stuck as captain, that makes it my job to keep you all in line," Ranma declared.

Nabiki looked at Ranma, but he just looked... serious... for once. "...I don't need you to babysit me, Saotome," she insisted.

"And I'm not. If one of the girls needed me to protect her from you, I'd be doing that. But you're not used to being laughed at, so I stepped in."

"...It's not like this is funny," Nabiki grizzled.

At that, Ranma's professional expression finally shattered as he grinned mischievously. "Are you kidding? It's hilarious!"

He shifted his grip so he could give Nabiki's bulging belly a good poke with his finger. It promptly jiggled like a gelatinous dessert from a western cartoon, and she couldn't stop the burp that the motion pushed up her throat.

Indifferent to her blush, he continued, "Nabiki Tendo, the Ice Queen of Nerima, Ms. Prim and Proper, got so caught up in trying to prove she's still the money-making queen that she stuffed herself like a pig to do so! If you were standing where we were, you'd be laughing yourself sick!"

"I wouldn't!" she protested.

"How many times have you laughed when I was miserable or I did something stupid, hmm?" Ranma asked, at which Nabiki could only blush again. "Look, you're having a bad day. It happens. You'll pick yourself up, you'll move on from it, and soon you'll get back into the rhythm of things. We all do it, I'm sure you can manage it."

And with that, Ranma walked over to the Baratie's mini-dock and unceremoniously leapt back over to the Milka. As he soared through the air, Nabiki clung to him instinctively for support, and lay there in silence.

'...Since when did Ranma sound so smart...?'

---

Not long after, in the Milka's central room...

---

"Alright," Ranma declared, clapping his hands together firmly, taking in the sight of his fellow strandees sitting in a loose circle on their bedrolls. "Now that we're all settled back in, it's time to talk about this piracy thing."

"Starting, I trust, with finally naming ourselves as a crew?" Kodachi suggested.

"You've been the one pushing for us to do that since we started raiding other ships - why is it so important to you?" Nabiki asked from where she was leaning against the wall.

"Can you honestly say that you're happy to be known as a member of the Dirty Cowards?" Kodachi dryly retorted.

A chorus of negatives rolled from around the room, with even Nabiki shaking her head in response.

"Even beyond that, a proper name is important for a pirate crew! It's a symbol of who we are, a reminder of the unity we share - it will draw worthy foes to clash with us, and repulse the weaklings beneath our contempt!" Kodachi declared passionately, fist clenched and gaze cast heavenwards as she waxed rhetoric.

"And I suppose you have a name for us already picked out?" Ranma interjected.

"As a matter of fact, darling, I believe I do. A name that symbolizes who we are to a T... For, after all, have we not dedicated ourselves to battling the corrupt forces who hold this world in its iron grip? Do we not sweep aside all who dare to stand in our path? Ladies, gentlemen, I venture to you that we are nothing less than a divine wind, sent by the gods to scourge this world! And as such, I vote we name ourselves... the Kamikaze Pirates!"

A thoughtful silence fell over the assembled teens... only to be broken by a sudden sharp bark of amused laughter from Nabiki.

"The Kamikaze Pirates? Really?" she giggled. "Let me guess; English isn't your best subject at school?"

To everyone's surprise, Kodachi actually blushed, "As a matter of fact, I... have struggled with that class for a while now..."

"Wait, seriously?" A startled Nabiki blurted out, giving the heiress an incredulous look.

Even more surprising, Shampoo reached out and gently placed a hand on Kodachi's shoulder

"Is hard to learn new languages," she stated in an obvious attempt at commiseration.

"R-regardless... what is so bad about my suggested name in English?" Kodachi demanded, cheeks still noticeably pink.

"Well... it's complicated," Ukyo interjected. "It means a lot of things, really. Like, it can mean 'brave' -well, more like 'totally fearless' or 'not scared of death', really."

"Or it means stupid, reckless, suicidal even," Nabiki added.

"It can stand for utter determination, the will to accomplish your goal no matter what..."

"Or it can mean being too fanatical to stop, even when you should."

As the two girls stopped talking, their companions looked thoughtful, until Umok suddenly interjected. "Honestly? That sounds like you guys all over."

"Hey!" the teens immediately protested.

"Well, how else would you describe your behavior in the time that I've known you? Besides... Do any of you have better name suggestions?" Umok asked.

At those words, the six teenagers all looked uncertain.

"Ah... well... most crews tend to be named after their captains, right? So why not the Wild Horse Pirates?" Ukyo suggested.

"Yeah, that name can take a hike!" Ryoga scoffed.

"Well, we're certainly not calling ourselves the Bed-Sneaking Pig Pirates!" the affronted chef retorted.

"That wasn't what I had in mind!" a blushing Ryoga snapped back.

"Um... what about 'Pigtail Pirates'?" Shampoo suggested.

"I don't think I like my pigtail that much, Shampoo," Ranma responded.

"Anything Goes Pirates?"

"Nerima Pirates?"

"Why not just call yourselves the Wrecking Crew? People would call you that behind your backs anyway," Nabiki commented.

"This harder than Shampoo expect," the cabbit-girl sighed.

"Hence why we've left it this long," Kodachi pointed out.

"Well, this world seems to all speak Japanese anyway, so... I think we should stick with the Kamikaze Pirates," Ranma ventured.

A chorus of nods and agreements rolled around the cabin, with Kodachi looking quite pleased with herself.

"Very well! That will allow me to begin work designing a draft for our Jolly Roger!" she chirped.

"Since when do you know anything about sewing?" a suspicious Ukyo asked.

"My talents are manifold and would surprise you," the heiress primly shot back. "But, since we have addressed the topic of refuting that hateful name the World Government has endeavored to tar us with, I believe we should address the elephant in the room..."

Nabiki bit her tongue and tried to prepare for the obvious jab at her current weight.

"I speak, of course, of our need to improve in our martial arts," Kodachi continued.

Nabiki slumped in a mixture of shock and relief.

"What are you talking about, Kodachi?" a confused Ranma responded.

"My darling, although we all appreciate the efforts you go to in order to keep us safe, the truth remains that we ladies are currently your inferiors in the martial field. There may be a spectrum to our individual skill-sets, but we all collectively need to improve, especially if we are going to be seeking out genuinely challenging encounters and threatening adversaries."

"Black Rose speaks truth," an audibly impressed Shampoo admitted.

"Okay... but why are you telling me?" Ranma asked.

"Well, as captain and the greatest martial artist we know-"

"I'm sitting right here!" an affronted Ryoga interjected, only for Kodachi to continue as if he hadn't spoken.

"Naturally, we would seek your guidance in heightening our skills and pushing our training to new levels."

Ranma's first instinct was to puff his chest out proudly; it was quite flattering to hear his skills being acknowledged in such a high light, after all. Then the reality of the responsibility such a role would place on his shoulders came crashing over him like ice water, and he shivered at the thought. "I... uh, well..."

Ignoring him, Kodachi sighed mournfully. "Of course, that means I am going to have to give up Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics..."

Squawks of shock echoed through the cabin at that proclamation, five teenagers staring bug-eyed at her.

"What you saying?!" an appalled Shampoo demanded.

"How'd you come to a conclusion like that?!" Ukyo added.

"What the hell, Kodachi? You're a master of that style, why would you give that up?!" Ranma thundered.

Kodachi smiled sadly at Ranma. "Thank you for noticing, darling... but, we must be honest. We all know that Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics is more a glorified sport than a proper manner of life and death combat. Oh, it has certainly given me useful skills I can build upon to reinvent myself, but if I am to stand tall and proud as a pirate queen, then I will need to abandon the childish restrictions of that style and take myself to new heights, with a style that can truly challenge the enemies we will doubtlessly face in the future."

Ranma looked sheepish, meekly scratching the back of his head. "I...well, I never thought about it in that light before..."

"Well, I'm not abandoning my style," Ukyo scoffed sharply.

"I'm the sixth generation heiress to the Kuonji School of Martial Arts Okonomiyaki! We may not have been around as long as your Chinese Amazon Wushu, or be as feared as your Anything Goes," she jabbed an accusing finger first at Shampoo, and then at Ranma for emphasis, "but we're still an old, proud family tradition! I don't care if you think it's gimmicky, I'll prove it can be just as effective as anything you do! I'll fight with it all the way to the One Piece!"

"I wouldn't dream of telling you otherwise!" Ranma asserted. "It's your style, I have no place to tell you to change it or give it up or anything like that!"

"Good!" Ukyo barked fiercely, a proud look on her face. Then she paused and looked thoughtful for a moment, "Of course, that doesn't mean I couldn't use a hand in refining the basics... you'll be able to help me with that, won't you, Ranchan?"

"Of course I can! But... I might be busy for a little while training Nabiki first," Ranma cautioned her.

"Me?!" the civilian turned reluctant pirate squeaked in shock.

"You are the daintiest blossom in our little bouquet," Kodachi reminded her, causing everyone to give her a sidelong glance at her choice of words.

"B-b-but I don't want to fight!" Nabiki protested.

"Tough," said Shampoo.

"In fairness, I intend to focus on teaching you how to sense danger and get out of harm's way. Learning to actually attack can come later. Besides, I don't think it'll take you that long," Ranma observed.

"...Why?" Nabiki warily asked.

"Well, that was a pretty impressive battle aura you put on when Picolete Chardin showed up, and again when the Gambling King suckered your dad! So, either you've had some serious training and you've just slacked off terribly for years... or you're a prodigious natural talent who's just been too lazy to actually do anything with it."

Intrigue and embarrassment warred for dominance in Nabiki's head. Especially given the way the other girls were eying her.

"Who Picolet Chardin?" Shampoo asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"Heir to the La Belle France School of Martial Arts Dining. Pops and Mr. Tendo lost a match to his family dojo when they were younger and promised to wed off one of their daughters to one of the Chardin's sons instead of paying," Ranma sneered, making Nabiki twitch in remembered rage.

"...Genma, I'm not surprised, but Mr. Tendo got into it too? I always knew he wasn't really any better than Genma," Ukyo scoffed, eliciting a further irritated twitch from Nabiki.

"...The Chardin family? That name sounds oddly familiar..." Kodachi mused.

"They're wealthy, so you may have run in the same circles?" Ranma suggested.

"Wait, this guy was rich?" Ukyo interjected.

"Big-ass mansion for a home, a place nearly as big for a 'summer retreat' out in the countryside, servants, professional chefs to cook gourmet cuisine by the truckload 24-7," Ranma replied casually.

"Bet he look like fat, warty, toad!" Shampoo snickered.

"Eh, actually, he was pretty good-looking - at least, all the girls at Furinkan seemed to think so," Ranma corrected her.

"...I'm confused, Ranma darling. You say he was wealthy and attractive... in which case, why aren't he and Nabiki bound in holy matrimony?" Kodachi slowly asked him, Shampoo and Ukyo nodding their agreements to the sentiment.

"Because he was a crazy mutant freak of nature," Nabiki snarled.

"...Whatever defects he had must have been quite spectacular to keep you from wedding him," Kodachi declared bluntly.

"His idea of showing a girl affection was swallowing her whole up to the waist, and bridal training wouldn't be complete until she could fit a whole watermelon in her mouth," a disgusted Ranma interjected.

Expressions of disgust rippled through the trinity of his would-be fiancees, who grimaced and groaned in emphatic revulsion.

Nabiki herself shuddered at the memories. 'Kami above, I actually thought he looked like a pretty great catch until he showed off that mouth trick!'

"Anyway, I figured you'd want my help stepping up your exercise regime anyway. Or do you intend to just let your old figure go without a fight?" Ranma asked, a mischievous smirk on his lips.

Nabiki blinked in noncomprehension, then paled as she instinctively clutched at her engorged stomach. 'Oh, crap, he's actually got a point... my metabolism's always been pretty good, but I've always worked off my meals, too, and I've never abused it like this before! Crap, that's gonna suck...'

"If you're quite done flirting with Nabiki, Ranma, there's something I wanna say," Ryoga interjected, dry as the desert winds.

Nabiki would have enjoyed the way Ranma blushed at Ryoga's teasing, simply because it was always fun when Ranma was embarrassed, but considering they also had the other girls subtly scowling at her, she couldn't bring herself to do so.

"Whaddya want, pork breath?" a red-cheeked Ranma growled.

"Just this; if we're going to be going after more threatening foes, then I think we should take a break from the pirate lifestyle for a while and just knuckle down with our training. Work to try and get the girls up a few notches, rather than trying to juggle that in between pointless skirmishes."

"...Y'know what, Ryoga? I actually agree with you," Ranma replied, nodding. "I was thinking the same thing... multitasking's all well and good, but focusing has its place, too. Besides, that old geezer in the restaurant... I wanna learn more about this Grand Line place before we start out for it. I mean, the One Piece hasn't been found in something like twenty years, so what's a week more or less?"

Ryoga blinked. "I... you actually agree with me?"

Ranma shrugged. "Why do you think I agreed with us working for Zeff in the first place? My responsibility is making sure we all get home alive. I may need to work harder at it, but that's still my top goal. I only care about keeping all of you safe... even if that means busting heads to do so."

"Wait... you mean their heads, or our heads?" a suspicious Ryoga asked.

Ranma just shrugged again, though he smirked as he did so.

---

Late that evening...

---

If the Baratie had been a sight during the day, then it was even more of a spectacle at night. Lit only by a series of heavy-duty lanterns circling its main deck as well as the light of the moon above, it was a surprisingly romantic vista.

Not that any of the female members of the newly-dubbed 'Kamikaze Pirates' were particularly inclined to bask in the scenery...

"Ugh! Did we have to wait until it was so late?" Kodachi whined.

"Yes!" came the empathic response from both Ukyo and Shampoo, who stared out into the gloom with a distant-eyed gaze that suggested they were lost in surprisingly similar nightmares.

"Ucchan and Shampoo both work in the restaurant business, they'd know when the right time to speak to Zeff is," Ranma replied. He held out a hand to Nabiki, who wordlessly stepped close and allowed him to sweep her off her feet, before he led the crew in springing across the gap between their ships to land silently on the Baratie's deck.

The interior of the floating restaurant was quite different, now that it was something like ten at night. The customers were all gone, the tables and chairs cleaned down and tucked neatly away for use in the morning, and several of the cooks - all surprisingly thuggish-looking men - were hard at work sweeping and mopping the tiled floors. At the center of it all, the relatively laidback way in which the cooks were working showing that they had almost finished for the evening, Zeff stood tall and proud, watching the work with an imperious, ever-judging eye.

"So, you're finally here. I wasn't sure you'd come," he rumbled as the teenagers wended their way through the workers.

"Ucchan suggested we wait until you had everything wrapped up before we spoke," Ranma replied.

"Hmph. So, you weren't lying when you said she worked in the business..."

"Sixth generation. I learned okonomiyaki from my father, who learned it from his grandparents, and so on. I ran my own restaurant back home, and now I'm the ship's cook," Ukyo stated proudly.

Zeff grunted, but they could see a hint of approval in his body language. "Very well...you're serious about working for me to pay for my lessons?"

"Frankly, we need some time to focus on training, and you're the closest thing we've found to a pirate teacher, so, yeah, this actually works out for us," Ranma conceded. "But Nabiki needs my personal attention, so she and I can't actually work over here. Instead, Ukyo, Kodachi, and Shampoo are willing to be your waitresses while we're here, and Ryoga has offered to be your maitre d."

"Has he now?" Zeff asked mockingly, cutting gaze sweeping over the other male teenager.

"I can't possibly do a worse job that that loudmouthed idiot," Ryoga shot back.

"Speaking of which... if this is going to happen, then you and Patty are going to have a clean start, understand? You've both given your lumps, it's over, as far as I'm concerned," Zeff decreed.

"That's fair enough... don't know why he started it in the first place," Ranma muttered.

"All the cooks on my ship are here because they're too rough and tumble for the softer restaurants on land! Patty's mouth needs a filter, but he's a decent cook, so he's one of us. Speaking of which... you're pirates yourselves, so I presume you can take care of yourselves, but I'll warn you, we get rough customers coming to the Baratie..."

The teens laughed as a collective, though some did a better job of hiding it than others.

"Trust me, they can handle anything your customers throw at them... actually, you might need to reign them in," Ranma jibed, his teasing eliciting winces from the girls.

"Then you'll start tomorrow! Now, about the Grand Line... what do you actually know about it?"

Ranma shrugged. "That it stretches around the world, and that the One Piece is supposed to be hidden somewhere on it. That's... basically it."

"Well, it's lucky for you that you ran into me! The Grand Line is known as the deadliest sea in all the world. I myself only spent a year there, and I never made it to the New World..." Zeff shook his head.

"Tonight, I'll just run you through the basics; we chefs need to get some sleep soon, and if you're going to work here, then you'll need to do the same!"

---

Early the next morning...

---

"Where are those new waitresses?" Zeff demanded as he made his way through the bustle of the morning preparations.

"Over here!"

He turned to face the feminine voice from behind him, and frowned at what he saw. Although the three girls were all dressed in clean, neat clothes - not proper uniforms, but it wasn't as if he'd given them any in the first place - they were also visibly disgruntled. The blue-haired one's fake rabbit ears that she insisted on wearing for some reason were drooping down past her face, and the long-haired one sneezed softly.

"You look like drowned rats. What happened to you?" Zeff demanded.

"You macho he-men might revel in a freezing cold dawn bath, but - tishoo! - it's not at the top of our favored activities," the raven-haired girl with the ponytail grumbled.

Zeff blinked in confusion, before asking in an appalled voice, "You mean you don't have hot water on your ship? Why didn't you come over and use our showers?"

He stiffened at the sharp looks the girls all cast his way. "...Are you telling us you have hot showers on this ship?"

"You can't expect a bunch of cooks not to bathe!" one of Zeff's men called out from the bustle behind them.

The three girls cast mutually hateful looks at each other, before the brunette sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "That... would have been nice to know beforehand. But never mind, we'll know about it for tomorrow!"

Forcing a bright smile on her face, she chirped, "So, where do you want us to start?"

---

Back on the Milka...

---

"...I'm sorry, you want me to do what?" Nabiki asked icily.

"Just a couple of laps around the deck, to start with," Ranma cheerfully announced.

"Ugh, it is way too early for this..." she grumbled.

"Best time for it! Come on, laps first, then we'll try some meditation."

"And if I refuse?" Nabiki snarkily suggested, folding her arms and looking defiant.

"Well, I could appeal to your sense of vanity, since you're already starting to look like a half-cooked dough Nabiki," Ranma chipperly declared, which caused her to shoot him a hurt look before gingerly pinching at her sagging stomach.

"Or... I could just go with plan B," Ranma declared, eyes glittering with menace as he pulled out one of the biggest, sharpest-looking swords Nabiki had ever seen and began tapping the flat of it against his free palm.

"Where'd you get that?!" an appalled Nabiki demanded.

"Shampoo loaned it to me. So, are you going to stretch first, or shall we just get right to it?" Ranma conversationally noted, running a finger along the edge.

"Wait, hold on, what was all that big talk about protecting me?!" Nabiki demanded, backing away from the clearly psychotic excuse for a captain.

"I am protecting you!" Ranma asserted, all wounded innocence. "I'm protecting you from yourself!"

And with that, he launched himself at Nabiki, who screamed and backpedaled frantically as the borrowed dao came audibly swishing through the air in front of her neck. Scrabbling frantically, Nabiki spun around and ran, Ranma's laughter ringing in her ears.

"That's the spirit, Nabiki! Run, run! I'm right behind you!" he cackled, easily keeping pace and swinging his sword, so close she could feel the air pressure of each swing gusting across her skin.

"You're as mad as your father!" Nabiki screamed, sprinting as if her life depended on it.

---

Several hours later...

---

"Well, that was a nice morning's workout! You did very well, Nabiki!" Ranma cheerfully announced.

Nabiki didn't reply, being too busy gasping for air where she was laid out flat on her back on the deck. She gulped lungfuls of sweet, life-giving air before she managed to gasp out, "I can't believe you did that!"

"I can't believe you needed me to do it! This whole thing is for your benefit, Nabiki," Ranma chided her.

She just continued to lie there and pant, making Ranma shake his head. "Well, this'll get easier with practice. Once you've caught your breath, we'll try some meditation, and then some laps - slow ones, this time."

"Are you trying to kill me?" Nabiki sobbed.

"No, I'm trying to help you! Or do you want to go home looking like an overstuffed tanuki's disguise?" Ranma shot back.

Nabiki just groaned miserably in response.

---

Lunch time on the Baratie...

---

Though she'd been running her own business for several years now, waitressing the lunchtime rush was still a very familiar experience to Ukyo. After all, this was partially how she'd started learning the family trade, back when she was a little girl. So it was oddly comforting to be scrambling back and forth to the kitchen, grabbing newly completed meals and rushing them to their waiting customers.

...What wasn't oddly comforting was for her danger sense to suddenly blare, forcing her to dodge a sudden surprise attack from behind. As she leapt to safety, her arms unthinkingly jerked, sending her seafood salad platter rocketing skyward.

"Ack! Shampoo, look what you - did?" Ukyo's outrage turned into confusion, and the slightest grudging hint of admiration, as Shampoo nimbly flipped through the air and caught her order, not spilling even the slightest drop.

"You snooze, you lose, Ukyo!" Shampoo jeered, already jogging off in the direction of the customer.

Ukyo chased after her, fuming as the Chinese Amazon cabbit-girl served it up in her stead. "What the hell was that all about, Shampoo?"

"What? You not recognize training? Shampoo thought you proud Martial Arts Chef! This how Shampoo train with great-grandmother whilst running Nekohanten," Shampoo cheerfully announced.

"What, you just attack each other out of the blue?" an incredulous Ukyo asked.

"Or we fight each other to see who deliver food first," Shampoo cheerfully explained. "Shampoo thought this be right up Ukyo's alley! Or is you too-too scared to put money where mouth is?"

Pride swelled up in Ukyo like somebody had just lit a furnace, and she shot a glare at her bitterest rival. "Anytime, anyplace, sugar!"

"Right here, right now!" Shampoo shot back.

"Order up! Table seventeen!" Roared one of the chefs.

The rivals glared mockingly at each other once more, then shot off to obey.

---

That evening...

---

"There are five gateway islands to the Grand Line; one in each of the four Blues, before you reach Reverse Mountain, and then Sabaody Island, the last island of Paradise," Zeff explained.

"So, apart from Sabaody, which is the island we need to concern ourselves with?" Ranma asked.

"Here in the East Blue, the gateway island is Loguetown, birthplace of Gol. D. Roger. It's your last place to stop for supplies and for Grand Line essentials, like Log Poses."

"Which are?" Kodachi interjected.

"The special compasses you'll need to be able to navigate in Paradise! I've heard that the New World needs its own special Log Poses, but you'll have to reach Sabaody and find that out for yourselves."

"Why do we even need Log Poses in the first place? Isn't a compass a compass?" Ranma commented.

"In the Grand Line, every island has its own unique magnetic field. Normal compasses just can't hack it; they spin out of control! You need a Log Pose to be able to lock onto a single island's field at once and follow it there."

"I see, that makes total sense... wait a minute, no it doesn't, how the hell does every island have its own magnetic field?!" an appalled Ryoga demanded.

"Welcome to the Grand Line, boy..."

---

Day two, working on the Baratie...

---

"You snooze, you lose, Kodachi!" Shampoo jeered, springing away with the customer's plate.

"You wicked, impudent wench! Treat not the Black Rose so lightly!" Kodachi spat, hands flying into her clothing and suddenly whipping out a barrage of throwing daggers!

"Kodachi, have you gone madder than usual?!" Ukyo shrieked from where she had been busily serving a second table. 'No way I can intercept those!'

As it turned out, though, Ukyo didn't need to. Impossibly fast, Shampoo snatched up the serving tray and twirled it around her back in a lightning fast series of parries, deflecting the daggers without looking or even moving from where she was standing.

Both Ukyo and Kodachi stared dumbstruck at their Chinese rival, if perhaps for slightly different reasons.

'...Mistakes may have been made,' Kodachi mentally mused to herself, in between waves of dread.

'...Just what kind of hell-training did your granny put you through, anyway?!' Ukyo wondered with a mixture of amazement and horror.

Shampoo simply smiled smugly at her rivals... until a loud, irritated cough pierced the air.

The three girls instinctively turned to the sound, and paled at the sight of an irate-looking Zeff pinned to the wall by daggers that had neatly pierced his clothing without touching his skin.

"I trust there's an explanation for this..." he thundered.

---

And meanwhile, on the Milka...

---

Ranma twisted to face the Baratie, an awed impression on his face. "Man, the old geezer's got some lungs on him..."

"Knowing those girls, they deserved it," Nabiki grunted, struggling to lift the makeshift barbell that she had been given.

Ranma grunted in acquiescence to Nabiki's point.

"Hey, why am I lifting weights made out of bags full of money?" Nabiki asked, groaning with the effort of yet another bench press.

"I figured they'd motivate you better... and they seem to be working," Ranma chuckled.

Nabiki tried to glare at him, but found herself too concerned with other things... like keeping the barbell from crashing down onto her chest.

---

That evening...

---

"And that's why you have to use Reverse Mountain to enter the Grand Line!"

"...Are these Sea Kings really that dangerous?"

"About a week before you showed up here, Don Krieg, leader of the largest pirate armada in the East Blue, tried to conquer the Grand Line by sailing through the Calm Belts. Maybe a tenth of his men made it back alive!"

"...Okay, we'll take the mountain route to get in..."

---

Day three, early morning...

---

The pirate grinned a gap-toothed grin as he brought the chair down in a solid two-handed swing over the young maitre d's head, smashing it into pieces. His grin faded at the complete lack of a reaction this achieved, other than to make the youth look really angry.

"You jerk, that's gonna come out of my salary!" Ryoga roared, before punching the startled pirate in the face so hard he flew out through the doors and audibly splashed down into the sea outside.

"We not getting paid!" Shampoo reminded Ryoga as she and Kodachi danced past, dueling with a pair of kodachi short swords, filling the air with the clash of metal on metal as they thrust, parried and slashed at each other.

"Damnnit, that means I have to pay out of my own pocket!" Ryoga cried in dismay.

---

Day four...

---

"Ohh... that feels sooo good," Nabiki moaned, eyes closed and face upturned to luxuriate in the steamy hot water pouring out of the Baratie's showers.

"Mmm, yes, it's nice to have a taste of civilization again!" Kodachi purred from where she was busily sudding her hair.

Whilst the Baratie had been generous enough to let the stranded Nerimans use their showers, it didn't change the fact that the showers were still largely intended for group use. Whilst the chefs naturally gave the girls their privacy, they still had to bathe as a collective. Of course, that was largely the case back on the Milka, so they were quite used to it by this point.

"Shampoo think Nabiki talking more therapy than luxury," the Chinese Amazon observed, currently human due to the hot water of the bath.

"Yeah... I don't know how you girls keep up with that martial arts stuff, it's exhausting! Ranma's been running me into the ground all week!" Nabiki complained.

"Starting always painful, but you get used to it... besides, Ranma doing you world of good," Shampoo giggled.

Nabiki opened an eye and stared inquisitively at the Chinese Amazon, who grinned and tapped her own stomach in a wordless signal. Bemused, Nabiki opened her other eye and glanced down... only to nearly choke on spray as she sucked in a startled breath.

"I've got abs!"

The treat-engorged belly she had unintentionally inflicted upon herself had deflated seemingly overnight, her naturally strong metabolism and Ranma's insane training regime reducing it first to a drastically smaller potbelly and then an easily-obscured muffin top within the first two days. But now? What had once been a smooth, creamy expanse... still largely looked that way, Nabiki wasn't sporting anything close to a proper six-pack. But there were clear, obvious lines tracing across either side of the non-martial artist's belly-button, down to her groin and up to her ribs.

"I don't believe this..." Nabiki murmured, touching herself and feeling the solidness of the muscles. Experimentally, she curled her left arm, her eyes widening as her bicep visibly bulged.

"...I'm turning into my little sister..." a dumbstruck Nabiki breathed in equal parts fascination and horror.

---

Day five...

---

The crack of wood on skull filled the air as Ranma bounced across the floor like a ball, ricocheting off the tiles three times before he managed to somehow steal control of his tumbling and twisted impossibly to land on his feet. He clutched the goose-egg where Zeff's peg-leg had struck him and shook himself back to his senses.

"Damn, you hit like Shampoo's great-grandmother!"

The grizzled chef's stern expression faded into a confused look.

"It's a compliment! Shampoo's great-grandma is one of the scariest fighters around, where we come from!"

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Day six...

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"Not this time, Shampoo!" Ukyo cursed, lashing out in a spin-kick that forced her Chinese rival to leap to safety, which gave Ukyo the chance she needed to snatch the tray from the chef's hands and sprint over to the table, ducking Kodachi's whip as it lashed out and tried to snatch the tray from her hands.

"Here you are, sir, your order!" Ukyo declared proudly as she triumphantly placed the meal at the customer's table. Standing up and turning back to face her rival waitresses, she grinned and stuck out her tongue at them.

To her surprise, Shampoo simply laughed, and even Kodachi made an attempt to look dignified, despite her twitching eye making it clear how much she hated losing.

"You get much better this week, Ukyo!" Shampoo giggled.

"Yeah... it's actually pretty fun training! I'm honestly gonna miss this after we move on..." Ukyo confessed.

"We shall have to come up with new training regimes after we leave," Kodachi sagely declared.

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Day seven...

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"Well, this is it. Thanks for everything," Ranma said, as solemnly as he ever got.

Zeff simply clicked his tongue. "Well, I did what I could. You're all a little less ignorant now. Try not to get yourselves killed in the Grand Line, hear?"

"Oh, don't worry about us... we're going to make it far," Ranma chuckled, before turning and leaping back over to the Milka.

Zeff watched as the strange ship and its even stranger crew hoisted anchor and sailed away. "Damn it all, those brats weren't all bad, I guess."

"Yeah... some of the best waiters we've ever had," Carne observed.

"You realize we're going to have to try and find some new waiters now?" Patty interjected.

"I'm aware," Zeff growled.

The three chefs stared solemnly out to sea, before Patty spoke up again. "So... did you hire those girls for a week just to be sure they wouldn't run into Sanji at Loguetown?"

"Why would I do something like that? Get back to your cake oven, Patty!"

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Chapter End & Closing Notes

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Go a little experimental towards the end there; I want to do more with the idea of vignettes, drabbles, etc, but I'm not really very good at it yet... Anyway! At long last, our rookie pirates are getting their act together; they've got a name for themselves as a crew, they have a flag (which we'll reveal in-universe next chapter - and one awesome guy called TastyHuman on SpaceBattles even drew it for us, which has become the official art for this story here on FFN) and we are finally off to the Grand Line! Hope this chapter wasn't too bad, and as always, reviews (and tropes) are the lifesblood of the author!