I have absolutely no idea why my strikethroughs didn't transfer over. So I managed to underline the parts of the letter that were meant to be crossed out. Sorry!
Olivia hangs up the call and starts to delicately open the envelope. She takes out what seems to be a torn-out page of notebook paper and begins to read.
My dearest Olivia,
Detective Olivia Benson,
Liv,
I'm sorry,
To my partner,
I don't know how There is no right way to start this. I want to I need to apologize and I know that no piece of paper could ever do justice for the way I left.
Olivia looks up from the paper knowing exactly what this 'rough draft' is. She inhales sharply and continues.
We were
We
I have gotten in the way of your success. I have gotten in the way of you truly being who you are. I am sorry, Olivia.
You were
I'm sorry. You deserve to be loved in a way I cannot give you. But Olivia, if I could provide the love you so rightfully deserve, I would. You deserve more than what you have been given. You deserve everything good.
Olivia peaks at the date of the letter, May 19, 2011. Her heart beats faster as she starts to overheat.
Liv,
Liv, I
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for holding you back.
Kathy and
Kathy, the kids, and
You and I, and what could have been with us
What could have been,
Somewhere or some time different, maybe in a parallel universe. Liv, Olivia, you will always be my forever. It will always be you and I.
Olivia reads through his crossed-out sentences. She notices that he can't seem to use her nickname.
I wish
I wish I had the vocabulary to describe what happened, and what changed. I don't think the English language holds the kinds of words I want to use.
Please
Continue living. Continue to grow. Continue to be the Olivia Benson I knew and fell in love with.
Olivia's heart stops instantly. She squints her eyes to re-read what was crossed off.
I'm sorry,
Elliot Stabler
Olivia folds the paper back up and slips it into its envelope. Her brain refuses to put a thought together. She tosses one end of the blanket towards her feet and tries to fall asleep. Staring at the ceiling, she starts to doze off. Amanda's speech about accepting her feelings and Elliot's rough draft circulate her thoughts as she slowly falls asleep.