Authors Note: I'll do your suggestions soon! I wanted to get this one out of the way first. Thanks for all the reviews!
Dumbledore was impressed with Harry after he reported the first Whorecrux had been destroyed. Harry left out Ms. Weasley's name to protect her and hadn't seen Ron since he had been obliviated. He decided to settle in for some much deserved sleep.
A week without incident passed. He finally ran into Ron playing chess in the common room. He still seemed grumpy about Harry being the chosen one, but thankfully didn't remember anything about watching Harry shag his mom. Harry promised him he could come along and search for the next Whorecrux and he seemed a bit placated.
The next day Dumbledore walked past Harry during dinner in the great hall and slipped him a note. Harry carefully opened it and read. "Harry, I kindly and thoughtfully request you meet me in my office as soon as you are finished eating. Respectfully yours, Dumbledore."
Ron grabbed the note out of his hand. "Great!" Ron mumbled, his mouth full of food. "Let's go."
"Where are you two going?" Hermione piped up.
"No where you're going!" Ron scowled.
"Come on mate, she can come to." Harry placed a hand on his shoulder.
Ron shrugged and finished stuffing the last of his food in his mouth. He was still chewing when they arrived.
Harry was surprised to see Remus Lupin standing inside the office with Dumbledore.
"Harry, old boy, how are you?" Remus shook his hand vigorously. "Hermione, Ron." He nodded.
"I see the three of you are all here." Dumbledore stroked his
beard in annoyance.
"Right, what's this about then?" Ron swallowed the last of his food.
"Remus, if you will?" Dumbledore lazily grabbed some Bertie Bott's jelly beans and popped a handful in his mouth.
"I have good and bad news Harry." Lupin faced him with a resigned expression. "Our counterparts at other schools have also been keeping an eye out for the Whorecrux's. We received and owl today. One of the witches at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic has a Whorecrux inside them."
"That fancy French school?" Ron's eyes brightened. "That school is full of hot babes! Alright!"
Lupin cringed a bit at Ron's comment.
"Well, that's great news! Who is it?" Harry was excited by the prospect he might finally get to shag an attractive witch.
Lupin paused. He took a glass of water from Dumbledore's desk and took a long drink. Dumbledore eyed him, amused.
"Are you ok?" Hermione asked him.
Remus set down the glass. "It's the he......" He mumbled.
"What was that? I didn't hear you?" Harry leaned in.
"It's the headmaster, Madam Olympe Maxine." Remus closed his eyes.
"What!!!!" Harry choked.
"Bwahahaha!" Ron started laughing hysterically.
"But-but that's impossible! How can Harry have sex with her, she's a giant!!" Hermione's eyes furled in thought. "Besides, isn't she Hagrid's girlfriend?"
"Ah yes," Dumbledore finally spoke up. "We're going to have to keep this a secret from Hagrid. Wouldn't want to upset him, would we?" He popped another jelly bean in his mouth.
Harry slumped in his chair. Remus put his arm around him. "Chin up Harry, you can do this. Snape can brew you a potion to make you even bigger, we'll think of something." He tried reassuring him.
"I think I'll sit this one out Harry, I'll travel with you in case you need me for something else, but..." Ron scratched his balls as he spoke.
"You are a git!" Hermione screeched at him.
"Alright, everyone calm down." Lupin spoke reasonably.
"I can't do this Remus, I mean how can I even if I wanted to?" Harry sighed, defeated.
"Perhaps once you see the situation for yourself a solution will arise." Dumbledore intoned sagely. "Remus, Hermione and Ron will accompany you to Beauxbatons, I'm sure you'll think of something."
"Alright then Harry, we'll leave tomorrow, get some rest." Lupin patted him again.
As everyone started leaving Dumbledore spoke up. "Harry, a word?"
Harry closed the door after everyone left.
"I need to tell you something important... Remus Lupin is a werewolf."
"What!?" Harry gasped.
"Yes, during the full moon his behavior becomes... erratic, just thought I'd warn you." Dumbledore finished.
"What am I supposed to do?" Harry asked.
"I'm sure you'll figure something out." Dumbledore drawled lazily.
"Great, thanks." Harry mumbled, walking out.
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Lupin arrived at Beauxbatons in the evening after two days of travel. Dumbledore had them on a budget and they had to take several trains, busses and walk miles in between stops to finally reach their destination. Fog covered the enormous castle as they walked towards the entrance. Harry turned to Lupin. "So how did this happen? How did Voldemort implant the Whorecrux in Maxine?"
Lupin glanced around. "Voldemort used polyjuice and pretended to be one of Maxine's old lovers. He knew even if he was discovered the chances of someone pleasing Maxine would be difficult due to her size. He killed her old lover and has been murdering giants everywhere so no one can make a modified polyjuice of them."
"That's horrible!" Harry seethed. He'd have to shag Maxine to save the giants to.
"Wait a minute? So Maxine cheated on Hagrid with her ex boyfriend?" Hermione crossed her arms.
"Who cares? You're such a girl sometimes." Ron giggled.
Hermione slapped him across the face.
"Bloody hell!" Ron yelled.
Hermione whipped out her wand. "I have more here if you want some Ron, just try me!"
Ron glared at her furiously and rubbed his face. He stormed off.
Lupin continued. "Yes, Maxine did cheat on Hagrid. It was ongoing which is why Voldemort knew he could get away with it."
"I see." Harry frowned.
"Maxine has agreed to the process, she knows what must be done. We're to meet her in a large secluded field several miles away after we tell her what our plan is." Lupin quieted as two Beauxbatons girls greeted them and led them inside.
Harry's nostrils filled with perfume as they entered. Ron stood nearby considerably cheered as he flirted with a gangly Beauxbaton girl. The ceiling was inlaid with gold and silver and reached high above them in a cone shape. The girls led Harry's group along a few elaborate halls until they stopped inside a large room. They were surprised to find Hagrid sitting inside.
"Hagrid!?" Hermione started.
"Whater you all doin here?" Hagrid asked.
Their two escorts realized their mistake, they had accidentally brought them to Hagrid's room, he was visiting the castle. "We're terribly sorry." Fleur spoke up. "Your rooms are further down."
"Dumbledore asked us to investigate... uh something going on at the school?" Harry said.
Ron choked back a laugh and Hermione glared at him.
"Is it about dem Whorecruxes? Is one here?" Hagrid whispered loudly.
"Um, well we're not entirely sure, but we've come to check things out and all..." Harry unconsciously backed away, wanting to escape.
Suddenly Hagrid burst into tears.
"What's wrong Hagrid?" Hermione moved forward.
"Oh, it's Maxine. I think she's cheatin on me."
Remus patted Hagrid's hand. "There, there Hagrid, no need to be suspicious without any cause right?"
"When I kissed 'er I could taste another man's love goop." He wailed.
The two Beauxbatons guides glanced at each other. Everyone seemed to be trying to back out of the room.
"There, there Hagrid, everything will be alright." Hermione patronized while Hagrid blew his nose on his sleeve.
"I don't think I'm big enough fer her." Hagrid confessed. "I'm only haf a giant." He burst into fresh tears.
"Chin up, old boy!" Remus said half-heartedly. "I'm sure you're more than man and giant enough for the job."
"You think so?" Hagrid beamed, showing off a yellowed smile.
"Sure, I do. Well we're all a bit tired Hagrid. We'll come see you again." Lupin hurriedly left.
"Aight." Hagrid waved.
"That was horrible." Hermione breathed after they'd walked down the hall a bit.
"I know, can't Hagrid find a toothbrush in his size?" Ron scoffed.
Hermione's fist closed around her wand. She gritted her teeth.
"I think Hagrid might be on to something. Even with Snape's potion my penis would need to be so big I couldn't walk or move it. It would need to be bigger than me." Harry sighed.
"Well let's try it Harry, there's more than one way to please a woman. We'll do a practice run and see how things go, maybe we'll get some ideas." Remus comforted.
The next day Harry, Ron, Hermione and Lupin approached the clearing where Madam Maxine was waiting.
Lupin paused as they approached the final hill. "Wait! I hear something."
They spied Madam Maxine spread eagle in the wide clearing. Her vagina covered almost the whole view and gave off a fishy smell. Everyone gagged.
"Merlin's beard!" Ron choked.
"Scourgify!" Lupin intoned subtly. There were several exhales of relief.
"Oh no!" Hermione pointed. "It's Hagrid, what's he doing here?"
Hagrid strode forward looking angry. Maxine sat up. Her face was heavily caked in make-up.
"I follow'd you out here Maxine! I know ya were planning on cheating on me!" Hagrid bellowed
"It wuzn't like zat 'Agrid! You don't understand!" Maxine cried desperately.
"Ya think I aint man enough fer yah? Do yah?" Hagrid's face was red.
"'Agrid! I luv you! I was just... getting an outdoor tan." Maxine frantically explained.
"Ya aint lying to me anymore! I'll show you who's man enough!" Hagrid began removing his clothing. His whole body was covered in fur. He dropped a pair of dirty underwear and revealed a large red penis as thick as a tree trunk.
"Agrid, zis isn't the best time for zis." Maxine glanced around, she knew Harry and his friends would arrive any minute.
"It's cause yer waiting fer another man eh?" Hagrid huffed.
"No, of course not!" Maxine's mind raced.
Harry, Hermione and Lupin looked on in wide-eyed horror, to shocked to move. Ron swayed, feeling ill.
"Get ready for the ride of yer life." Hagrid said stroking his cock.
He climbed up Maxine's thighs a bit and held himself up with two hands. He swayed in mid air and slammed his penis in Maxine's huge vagina, rocking back and forth on his arms, holding himself aloft.
"Ooooh yeah dat's it." Hagrid moaned.
Hermione fainted and Lupin quickly grabbed her before she fell to the ground.
Hagrid continued swaying back and forth. A loud squishing sound was heard. Sweat pealed on Hagrid's brow from his effort. Suddenly Hagrid turned his body, doing a handstand. "Do ma Maxine!" He growled. Maxine began violently thrusting back and forth.
Harry was impressed with Hagrid's acrobatics though he had never seen anything so horrible in his life. McGonagall, Twelolomy and Ms. Weasley seemed pretty tame compared to what was taking place before his horrified eyes.
Hagrid's hairy butt wobbled back and forth as Maxine pounded him. "I'm goin to come 'Agrid!" She moaned. Suddenly a huge gush of water exploded from Maxine, completely covering Hagrid. Hagrid fell and spit out a glob of white goo and shook his arms out. Afterward, Hagrid tenderly laid next to the giant woman.
"I think we should come back tomorrow." Lupin said picking up Hermione while Harry supported a very sick Ron.
When they returned they were no closer to finding a solution. Hermione had recovered though she looked pale and shell-shocked, Ron was relaxed and eating again.
They stayed up most of the night bouncing around ideas.
"Wait a minute, remember what you said earlier Harry? That you'd have to have a penis as big as you are to please Maxine? Well what if we transfigured you into a giant penis?" Hermione said excitedly.
"What?!" Harry moaned.
"It might work Harry." Lupin stroked his hair.
"No way! How am I supposed to breathe? I mean once I'm in there it would really be my head right?" Harry didn't like this idea at all.
"Hey if you don't want to do it, I will!" Ron interrupted.
"You're already a big penis." Hermione snapped.
Ron glowered at her.
"There's an opening at the top Harry, you can breathe that way. We can still leave your feet at the bottom." Lupin said thoughtfully.
"This is ridiculous!" Harry shook his head.
"Well, if you've got a better way Harry then tell us." Hermione reasoned.
"Look Harry, you can just hold your breath and come up for air." Lupin patted Harry's shoulders.
Harry slumped. There had to be another way. He couldn't do this. He glared at the impassive faces in front of them.
"I'll transfigure you tomorrow night, don't worry it's a simple spell to turn you back when you're done. Nothing will happen Harry, I promise." Lupin pleaded.
"Alright! I'll do it!" Harry yelled, crossing his arms in defiance.
"Good sport Harry." Lupin patted his face.
A full moon shone overhead as Harry and his companions entered the clearing the next evening.
"'Ello 'Arry." Maxine greeted. She was naked and ready to go.
Harry mumbled a greeting in return.
"You ready Harry?" Lupin knelt looking Harry in the eyes.
"I guess so." Harry grumbled.
Ron was ecstatic. Harry was going to be a huge penis. It sounded like a good deal to him, but Harry didn't think so and he couldn't help smiling at his friend's bad humor.
Lupin waved his wand, "Largeous Penious Totalis!"
Harry felt himself transforming. His arms closed at his side.
"Did it work?" His voice sounded strange to him.
Hermione clasped a hand over her mouth to prevent herself from laughing.
"It sure did Harry." Lupin spoke confidently.
The opening of the large Harry penis spoke, "Alright let's get this over with."
Harry waddled over on his now much shorter legs. He dipped his body down and entered Maxine.
"Oh ma god!" Maxine groaned in ecstasy.
Harry took a deep breath and plummeted back inside. He pushed himself in and out taking a gasp for air each time. He felt sensations all over his whole body. He was close to cumming already. He tried to remember Snape's training. Everything was dark inside Maxine and he felt like he was entering a pliant tunnel. He was stretching her to her limit and Maxine was screaming in pleasure. Soon her orgasm washed over him. Harry gasped for air as she clenched him inside her. He was struggling to breathe. Is this is the way he was going to die?
"Harry!" Hermione rushed forward. "Ron help me!"
Hermione and Run both tugged at Harry's shoes trying to pull him out. One shoe fell off in Hermione's hand and she fell back.
"Pull Ron!" She commanded, rising and grasping at Harry's ankle.
Harry finally popped out and fell to the hard ground gasping for air.
Hermione checked Harry's loadstone. It wasn't spinning. "It worked!" She said excitedly, wanting to hug Harry, then thinking better of it.
"Sorry 'Arry!" Maxine rose concerned but with blissful glazed eyes. She quickly dressed.
"I think he's breathing." Hermione checked Harry in relief.
"Where's Lupin?" Ron asked.
"I need to be changed back." Harry huffed out.
"Look!" Ron pointed towards Lupin he was bent over in pain. Suddenly he began to grow fur, his eyes took on a strange glow.
"A werewolf!" Hermione gasped.
Harry wobbled trying to sit up. "We have to stop him he's the only one who can change me back."
Lupin howled at the moon and began taking off at a run. "Follow him!" Hermione yelled.
Ron and Hermione took off, Harry tried skipping on his short legs to catch up.
"He's headed for town!" Hermione increased her speed.
They arrived in a sleepy town near the Beauxbatons Academy. Lupin turned and growled at them. Harry finally caught up and anxiously glanced around. He hoped no one would see him in his giant penis form.
"Lupin, it's us!" Hermione pleaded.
Lupin looked at them without a glimmer of recognition. Suddenly a cat ran nearby. Lupin grabbed it and started banging it like a rabbit.
"What are you doing?" Hermione choked.
The happy cat was tossed aside, Lupin started banging everything, a wagon wheel, a chicken, two ducks, a potted garden, a hose, and a fence. He was moving with lightning speed, seemingly unstoppable.
"Wow, go Lupin!" Ron was impressed.
Hermione ignored his comment. "We have to do something!"
"I can't live like a giant penis!" Harry said panicking. "How long is he gonna be like this?"
"Usually until the moon changes. Oh no!" Hermione pointed.
Lupin was banging the pole on a stand that was slowly coming unhinged. An assortment of fruit and boxes were hanging above him. He let out a yelp of surprise as the pole broke free and everything came crashing down on top of him.
Hermione rushed forward. "Petrificus Totalis" she intoned. Lupin became rigid. Her and Ron pulled him out.
"We'll have to hide him until morning." Hermione warned.
"I can't stay a penis all night!" Harry whined.
"Sorry Harry you don't have a choice." Hermione sighed.
Suddenly lights came on all over the village. Lupin had woken everyone up with his antics.
"Bloody hell, we have to get out of here." Ron cried
A grandmotherly woman stepped forward from a nearby house. She saw Harry's penis body and screamed.
"Run!" Harry commanded.
The three of them ran, Hermione levitating Remus.
Harry's short legs could barely keep up. He heard shouts and yells as he ran. "It's a giant penis!", "What in Merlin...?"
Harry ignored the calls, huffing and puffing. Damn Hermione and Ron were so far ahead he could barely see them.
A French reporter from the Daily Prophet who was visiting friends in the village grabbed his camera and was snapping furiously.
A rope was tied around Harry and he stumbled forward. "Ow!" He yelped.
A frightened man approached him. "What perversion is this, what are you?"
"It's some kinda monster!" A woman clutched her husband.
"I'm not a monster! I'm Harry Potter!"
Suddenly Hermione was at Harry's side waving her wand. "We're on a mission from Dumbledore! Let him go!"
The villagers recognized Hermione and reluctantly released the binds holding Harry.
"Harry Potter? I don't understand?" A man looked confused.
"We're leaving!" Hermione warned. "Don't try anything funny!" Harry and Hermione slowly backed away.
"Oh that was horrible." Harry cried.
"Don't worry Harry. It's just a small little village, miles from Hogwarts. No one will know anything. They'll probably think they dreamt it up by morning."
"I guess you're right." Harry seemed satisfied by Hermione's logic.
The next day Lupin recovered. He didn't remember a thing about last night's events. He apologized profusely and turned Harry back to his normal self.
"It's so good to be me again!" Harry clapped cheerfully.
"Sorry again Harry, I'm not sure what happened. I forgot about the full moon, I wasn't thinking..." Lupin scratched his ear sorrowfully.
"Uh, I suppose it's alright." Harry said diplomatically.
"Let's get back to Hogwarts and put this whole thing behind us. At least the Whorecrux was destroyed, right Harry? You did it!" Lupin cheered.
"Yeah I guess I did." Harry smiled.
As they approached Hogwarts Draco Malfoy and his cronies were waiting out front. "I always knew you were a dick Harry but even I didn't know how much of one you really were." Everyone started laughing.
"What are you talking about Malfoy?" Harry challenged, looking about nervously.
"Come on Harry the Vagina Potter or should I call you Penis Potter from now on? It's all over the paper, you're pathetic."
Someone threw a paper towards Harry. "I'm Harry Potter." The caption read, showing a large penis with short feet sticking out.
Harry groaned in frustration and horror. He'd never live this down.
Ron in a rare act of chiveraly stood in front of Harry. "Oh yeah Malfoy, well Harry turned into a giant penis to fuck a real live giant! I can't say the same for you and Pansy, we know she hasn't given it out yet."
"Shut up Weasley!" Malfoy threatened. "Maybe Harry turned into a penis for some sick fantasy of yours." Chuckling was heard behind him.
"I asked Harry to do it!" Hermione snapped.
"What was that mudblood?" Malfoy sneered.
"It was a fantasy of mine, to-to have a giant penis. We were sneaking about the village when we were caught." Hermione put one fist at her side.
"I knew it!" Ron said stupidly, not getting it. "You were always complaining about my size when I'm packing lots of heat."
"You and your mudblood girlfriend are sick!" Malfoy gagged. "I don't even want to look at the lot of you." Malfoy walked off, everyone followed giving them dirty looks as they passed.
"Thanks Hermione!" Harry beamed. "I owe you."
"You bet you do Harry!" Hermione said sternly trying to cover a smile.
"What the bloody hell about me! I stood up for you to." Ron stormed.
"Yes, sorry, right, thanks a lot Ron." Harry brushed his hair back.
Ron puffed up with pride. "Well two Whorecrux's are down already. At this rate we'll stop Voldemort in no time! We'll be heroes.
"Thanks for all your help guys." Harry said. "Well, let's get some rest and start searching for the next one first thing tomorrow!"