Hello! This is fanfic that I really wanted to write because I loved season 10 and there isn't as many mark of Cain fics as I thought. As always reviews are welcomed as it makes me a better writer! So, without further ado, onto the story, and I hope you all enjoy!
I don't own Supernatural or any of the characters.
Set after 10.18, Book of the Damned.
We're in This Together.
Sam was just trying to help. He was. But he didn't know how. He had been doing research about the mark of Cain for months and he couldn't find anything. Dean was getting worse and worse. Sam didn't want to believe it but he knew it, and Dean knew it too.
Sam had also been nagging Dean for months. Asking him over and over again if he was okay, if the mark was hurting him, if it was getting worse? Dean kept telling Sam over and over that he was okay, but Sam wasn't an idiot. Sam knew what was going on and Dean was just getting too exhausted to keep up his perfect charade to keep it from Sam.
Dean wasn't fine and there was no denying it now. Sam would catch Dean rubbing his inner forearm, exactly where the mark was, and when Sam would ask about it Dean would shrug it off and tell him to leave it alone. While doing research, Dean would get quiet and unresponsive, he would stare off into space, and his hands would start to shake.
But, Sam could deal with that type of shit from Dean. But, the only thing Sam couldn't deal with was when Dean got angry. Usually, Sam was better at handling an angry Dean, then an emotional Dean, since Sam's big brother very rarely showed vulnerability like that. But, with the mark of Cain, Dean's anger was terrifying. When they would go on hunts and Dean would have to get involved in combat. It always got bloody. But, not normal Winchester level bloody, serial killer level bloody. Dean would hack, carve, and slice beyond any means necessary at all. Sam would watch in terror as his older brother tore apart monster after monster in some sick way to release the effects the mark of Cain held over him.
When Dean had massacred those humans that tried to take Claire, Sam was utterly terrified of his brother. Sam hated the feeling that had washed over him when he saw Dean, collapsed on his knees and drenched in blood. Dean had looked terrified and empty at the same time. But, the thing Sam could read on his face the most was the bloodlust. The same type of bloodlust that most of the monsters they hunted wore on their faces. Sam had seen a lot of gross stuff, but Sam came close to throwing up. Not because of all the ripped apart bodies, but because of the look on Dean's face. That look was going to haunt Sam's nightmares for a long time.
And then there was what he did to Charlie. Sam still could hear Charlie screaming as random injuries tore through her body. Her arm breaking, her nose smashed to oblivion, her face almost unrecognizable. Sam could still see himself carrying Charlie outside, just to see his brother breaking a fragment of one of his best friends. The content and bloodlust in his eyes as he continued to pound and pound on her as she screamed. But, what hurt Sam the most was the absolute, straight out of a horror movie, level of fear after he realized what he had done. The disgust, anger, and crippling fear at himself shone through his face, as obvious as reading a book.
But, then there was when Dean got his hands on the First Blade. All of the rage was amplified by a hundred percent. After he had killed Cain he could see that Dean was terrified that he was losing himself, but he was able to let go of the First Blade. Which was definitely progress, but still Sam would never admit that he was absolutely terrified that his brother was going to disappear, and there would be nothing but an empty shell of a good person who was turned into a monster. That's why Sam needed to find a way to get rid of the mark of Cain even if it was the last thing he ever did.
So, that's why Sam sat at the table in the middle of the bunker, with books stacked around him. He had been researching for the past ten hours, nonstop, trying to find something about the mark of Cain. While Sam had ordered his big brother to try and sleep after the whole ordeal with the book of the damned. Sam knew that Dean probably wasn't doing that, even though he said he would. Sam didn't know whether or not to go and comfort his brother. He didn't know if Dean needed to process how he had felt around the book of the damned, or if Sam could help him. Sam knew that dark things went down in Dean's mind when he was alone, but the sooner Sam found out how to remove the mark of Cain, the better.
Sam was about to finish a book titled 'Gifts of God', when Sam heard footsteps from behind him. He knew the mark of Cain wasn't a gift, but maybe other people had other viewpoints on it. But hey, he was getting desperate here. He quickly glanced backwards to see his older brother approaching the main room.
"Hey," Sam greeted, cautious of the mood his brother was in. Dean just grunted in response, grabbing one of the books that Sam had in a massive pile next to him.
Dean looked like he hadn't slept a wink in his entire life, and the bags under his eyes spoke volumes on that. He was as white as a ghost, almost translucent, like he wasn't completely there. Sam supposed that was actually mostly true. His brother really wasn't all there, and Sam knew it. If Dean was all there, those people wouldn't have been murdered, he wouldn't have hurt Charlie, and Sam wouldn't have to keep the book of the damned a secret. To say Sam was worried about his older brother was a complete understatement.
"I made you some coffee, and bought you a vegan burger," Sam stated, pushing the plate and cup towards the older brother. Dean eyed the food wearily before pretty much collapsing into the chair across from Sam. "Because of your eating healthy thing," Sam attempted a smile, but it was short lived when his brother shoved it back towards Sam.
"I'm not hungry," Dean grumbled, opening the book he had picked up.
Sam sighed loudly, staring sympathetically at Dean's face. But then his eyes wandered down to the mark on his arm. Sam looked at the body part with more rage than he had ever before. Sam's eyes burned but he couldn't find it in himself to care.
Dean's eyes flicked up to look at Sam, and then they looked down to his arm. Dean shifted awkwardly, pulling his sleeve up so Sam couldn't see the mark anymore. Sam was then able to take his eyes off it, just enough to feel guilty.
"Did you sleep at all?" Sam blurted out.
Dean cast his eyes up to look at Sam and then sighed in defeat. "Did you sleep?" Dean deflected, now looking back down at the book.
"No, I was researching," Sam stated, "what were you doing?" Sam asked, the fact obvious that Dean hadn't slept either.
Sam thought Dean was going to have some witty remark to deflect from talking about it, like he usually does. But Dean didn't have enough energy to pretend anymore. "I tried to sleep, but I couldn't, so I was just thinking," Dean stated, exhaustively. Sam frowned, knowing the type of pain Dean can cause to himself by "just thinking".
The two boys continued to read the books, until Dean interrupted the silence by clearing his throat.
"Where'd Cas and Charlie go?" Dean questioned.
"On a supply run," Sam stated, "Cas wanted to get food for Charlie. I asked him to pick up some junk food for us too. I figured you wouldn't want that vegan burger," Sam attempted a smile. Dean tried to smile too, but it came out looking more like a pained grimace.
The brothers settled into a deafening silence as they continued to grasp at straws for something to do with the mark of Cain. Sam had given the book of the damned to Rowena and told her to decipher it and Sam hadn't seen her since. He felt guilty for hiding it from Dean, but Sam was willing to do anything to save his brother. Anything, and that was a promise.
Sam cleared his throat in hopes to end the awkward silence, "hey, so how are you doing?" Sam asked his older brother.
"Hmm?" Dean asked.
"Is it getting any worse?" Sam asked, but he already knew the answer.
"I-" Dean started, but was saved when the door to the bunker opened.
"We're back, bitches!" Charlie exclaimed, carrying a case of beer. Dean actually smiled when he saw her trip and almost dropped the whole case of beer.
"Woah," Castiel's voice chimed, "careful," he laughed, taking the beer case from Charlie. They carefully walked down the stairs in the bunker to the main room which Sam and Dean were in.
"Oh! Dean's awake!" Charlie exclaimed, quickly putting her stuff down on the table. She gave Dean a little side hug, which he returned gratefully.
"Hello, Dean," Cas nodded, his features softening when he saw how bad Dean looked.
"Cas," Dean acknowledged, not even having the energy to care about the worried look Cas was giving him.
Charlie jumped into the chair that Dean was sitting in before and pulled out a bag of chips.
"How was your sleep, Sleeping Beauty?" Charlie asked in between mouthfuls of food.
"Just great," Dean replied, trying to play it off but not succeeding as much as he had hoped.
"It was that bad, huh?" Charlie said, her eyebrows furrowing.
"I'm gonna go grab water from my room. You know, because I'm healthy now," Dean stated, gesturing sadly towards the case of beer, before walking off towards his room.
"How is he, Sam?" Cas asked as soon as Dean had turned the corner. "Is he getting any better?" Cas had a hopeful sound to his voice, which Sam was about to crush into pieces.
"Obviously he's getting better," Charlie chimed in sarcastically, "does it look like he's getting better? He looks like a truck ran him over," Charlie stated, her worry in the undertone of her comment.
"Yeah, he's getting worse," Sam replied, sighing in defeat, "he didn't sleep at all," Sam added.
"Well, no shit Sherlock," Charlie rolled her eyes, "it looks like he has two black eyes. I seriously-"
"Charlie," Cas warned, as he watched Sam's expression darken when Charlie said that.
"Right, sorry. I'm just upset," Charlie apologized, sending a look towards Sam.
"He'll get better. I'll find a way to get that mark off his arm. Even if it's the last thing I ever do," Sam stated, his voice cracking slightly.
Charlie and Cas just nodded in agreement, knowing that what Sam had said was a hundred percent true and would never change.
"I'm back," Dean's voice sounded from around the corner.
Dean returned with a glass cup full of water and was wearing different clothes. He had changed from a simple gray long sleeved shirt and sweatpants to wearing a black shirt, plaid flannel, and worn out dark blue jeans.
Sam's eyes wandered to Charlie to see she was looking at the mark on Dean's arm. He knew that she was just as scared of what it was doing to Dean as Sam was.
Dean's eyes met Charlie's and saw what she was looking at. Dean shifted uncomfortably and then pulled the sleeve of his flannel all the way down over the mark of Cain, before copying the same action with the other sleeve.
Sam was about to say something but was interrupted by the sound of his phone chiming in his pocket. Sam fished out his phone and quickly read the notification he had.
"Hey, so get this," Sam called out, and everyone crowded around Sam's back. Dean put his hands on the back of Sam's chair and glanced over his shoulder. Sam caught himself smiling at how that one gesture was so familiar in a time where he wasn't sure if Dean was entirely there.
"What is it?" Cas asked, standing on the right side of Sam.
"So get this, I just got a notification from Kansas City news and usually it's just a robbery. But, this time it's a murder of a man by the babysitter he hired, but she says she has no memory of doing it. Doesn't that sound like our thing?" Sam explained.
"You get notifications from Kansas City news?" Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Nerd," Dean coughed out, trying to hide the word.
"Haha, very funny, Dean," Sam fake laughed, but couldn't help but smile at Dean's joke. It was the closest to normal Dean had been in a couple of days.
"Definitely sounds like our kind of thing," Charlie smiled, her hope for some sort of adventure very obvious in her voice.
"Agreed. I'll go grab some of the stuff," Dean chimed in, starting to walk away from the table.
"Dean, hold on," Sam called after his older brother.
"Hmm?" Dean turned around, and the hopeful look on his face almost made what Sam was going to say impossible. Until, Sam focused on the bags under his brother's eyes and he knew he was right.
"Maybe, you should sit this one out," Sam made it sound like a suggestion, but it was actually a demand.
"Seriously, Sam?" Dean replied, an under layer of anger in his voice.
"Dean, I don't think that you're up to this," Sam explained, standing his ground.
"Come on," Dean replied quickly.
"Dean, you're not going," Sam said, slowly losing his temper.
"Oh, fuck off Sam. You can't tell me what to do," Dean snapped back, his short circuited anger making an appearance.
"I think Sam is right," Cas chimed in.
"You really shouldn't be going. The state you're in may jeopardize the case," Sam explained.
"The state I'm in?" Dean laughed angrily.
"Dean-" Sam started, but was interrupted when Dean made his way across the room and slammed Sam against the wall.
"Dean!" Cas and Charlie screamed in unison. They pulled Dean off Sam before Dean started to mutter to himself.
"God, I'm so sorry, Sammy," he looked up at Sam, and he could see the pain in Dean's green eyes. "I gotta get out of here, Sammy," Dean begged, his eyes glazing over.
Sam couldn't resist the pain in his voice, "fine. But if anything starts to happen with the mark, you better tell me," Sam answered.
"Scouts honor," Dean replied quickly, returning to his task of putting weapons in the bag.
"Sam, should we come as well?" Charlie asked.
"Just in case something happens," Cas added, glancing over at Dean.
"Sure, thanks you guys," Sam smiled gratefully. He really couldn't ask for better friends.