Characters: Chosen Undead/Dragon Slayer Ornstein
Word Count: 2.310
Summary: Tempest always tries and experiments with new dishes for the Hurricane, his family's restaurant. Ornstein enjoys trying new tastes. He is the perfect candidate to be Tempest's taste tester.
(Author's note: I got inspired for this fic while playing Cooking Mama and seeing a dish that I really would like to try myself and while I looked up recipes and ingredients, I got the thought of Tempest cooking the dish for Ornstein.
What can I say other than writing the cooking and eating scenes in Storm were always a delight to write, so why not starting a fic with this premise and this premise alone. This fic is solely about cooking, eating and character banter with the main couple. Each chapter will be based on a specific dish.
Please note, I usually will have to look up recipes for this fic, so don't expect a lot of chapters at once. I will add one whenever I feel like it. If you have a certain recipe you want Tempest to cook, you can feel free to request it in a comment.)
"Ornstein, look what I got! A squid!"
Ornstein had sat at the kitchen table sorting through some documents when Tempest appeared in the door with these exact words on his lips and the aforementioned squid in his right hand, presenting it to Ornstein.
"And what do you plan to do with it, little Storm?", Ornstein asked, "Grill it with peanut butter?"
It was an absolute joy to see the smile fall off Tempest's file and be replaced with an expression of complete and utter disgust: "Don't be ridiculous, weird food combinations are your thing, I will forever remember the applesauce with peas."
"It was you who refused to fight the skeleton dogs.", Ornstein deadpanned, which made Tempest's eyes roll in turn.
"Whatever. Anyway, I was thinking of preparing some squid spaghetti."
Ornstein's interest was piqued at the choice of dish. "Oh?", he murmured, stopping sorting through his documents and placing his eyes on Tempest.
"I never tried it before and when I manage, I think it could be a nice addition for the Hurricane. And because you are already here, Ornstein, you can taste test and tell me how it is."
"With pleasure.", Ornstein said, folding his hands in his lap, his paperwork completely forgotten. Tempest's food was fantastic, even the stuff that he apparently failed. Maybe Ornstein just felt like this because his own cooking was so atrocious that he even managed to let water burn.
Tempest strode into the kitchen right away and started with washing his hands, not even bothering to close the door behind him. Ornstein stood up to close it and when he turned around, Tempest had already rummaged around in the kitchen and produced a few ingredients. Ornstein could spot two small onions, a bulb of garlic, a package of spaghetti and of course the squid.
Ornstein sat back down and looked at the store bought pasta: "I am surprised, normally you prefer to make the noodles yourself."
"Yeah, I know.", Tempest said, "But I already know how to make noodles, I don't have much experience with the squid and the ink sauce yet. I thought it would be better to use some store bought pasta."
Ornstein hummed an approval; that made sense. Tempest filled a big pot with water and put it onto the stove, then he got a knife out and started to work on the onions. As usual, he put some herbs into his nose to minimize any crying from the onion's natural smell. Ornstein skipped a bit away from the table, making his chair creak; he didn't feel like putting herbs in his nose. It always made him feel too silly, even if Tempest was the only one to see him like that.
The onions were peeled in an instant and then Tempest sliced and chopped them in record speed. It was always a sight to behold. Ornstein knew that Tempest had years of experience and according to his own words he had stood in the kitchen as soon as he could hold a knife, but it amazed him nonetheless.
The garlic was next. Tempest cut it open and removed the clove, then pressed his knife on it and ground it a little bit so that the clove would be easier to chop.
"Say, little Storm, why don't you just use garlic powder instead of using a fresh bulb anytime?", Ornstein asked. Tempest simply stared at him as if he had requested cake with mustard on it.
"Ornstein, I am having my pride as a chef and that means I will NEVER prepare a dish without fresh garlic."
Ornstein had to sit on his tongue to mention the store bought pasta, but Tempest was right. If he wanted to experiment with the sauce, he should put fresh ingredients into it. How the pasta tasted was not as important.
"I wonder if I should put some other things inside... maybe a little chili pepper for some spice...", Tempest murmured, making Ornstein shudder. He wasn't that good with spicy things. Gladly Tempest dropped the thought and instead started to work on the squid.
"Let's see... that is the first time I am dismantling one of them...", Tempest said. After he washed his hands again, he pulled up his phone and apparently looked up a video. "The legs first... and then the gland...", he murmured, pulling the cephalopod apart.
"I wonder if you can eat the legs too.", Ornstein mentioned as Tempest discarded them.
"Oh, I am sure you can, but they are not part of this dish.", Tempest said, "I want the meat from the head and torso."
The next thing Tempest did was putting his hand into the squid and pulling something out, slowly. Oh, that probably had to be the gland for the ink, Ornstein remembered that squids were using their own ink for self defense. No wonder Tempest removed it slowly, that would make a mess otherwise.
Once the gland was removed, Tempest let out a little curse and ran over to his pasta water which had started to boil in the meantime. Ornstein took the opportunity to look closer at the half prepared squid. It looked weird laying there, without its legs but still with the head seemingly intact. The gland also looked interesting, but Ornstein didn't touch it, he didn't want to stain his clothes with squid ink.
Once Tempest had put the spaghetti into the water and set a timer after he put the heat of the stove down, Ornstein returned to his seat and Tempest returned to the squid. He cut off the two things that looked like ears (but probably weren't) from the squid's head and then he removed the skin to uncover white meat. After that he put his hand inside the squid again and removed a thin plate that looked a little bit like a bone.
"I thought cephalopods are boneless.", Ornstein admitted with a little bit of surprise.
"Yes, they are, but they still have like a plate inside of them that keeps them together, but that is literally everything they have. They are not like us with our over 200 bones."
That made sense and Ornstein asked himself why he had never learned more about cephalopods. Maybe he would look at some facts about them later and draw a few of them. They looked fun to draw with their interestingly shaped head and ten legs... or tentacles to be precise.
Tempest armed himself with the knife again and started to cut the squid in stripes... only that those weren't stripes. Ornstein had to take a double take. Those were rings actually!
"What, their meat is zonular?!", he asked.
"Zonu-what?", Tempest asked, looking at Ornstein with nothing but confusion on his face.
"Oh, shaped like a ring."
"Then say it like that and don't throw such complicated words in my face.", Tempest grumbled, "Ornstein, did you never eat calamari? They are ring shaped as well."
"...I thought they were just put into this form because they are breaded...", Ornstein admitted.
"Easy mistake to make, but no, squid meat is actually ring shaped, or, uh, zonu-"
"Zonular.", Ornstein helped out.
"Exactly.", Tempest said, and then rushed to the stove to stir the pasta, leaving Ornstein to admire the zonular squid meat. It looked tasty already, but Ornstein knew better than to try and eat raw seafood, that would probably not end well.
"The noodles should be done in a few minutes, then I can...", Tempest rummaged around and produced a bowl, then he took the gland and did exactly what Ornstein had been fearing happening to him earlier. Tempest squeezed hard on it, so that the ink poured into the bowl.
"Wait, you are using the ink for your cooking?", Ornstein asked.
"Of course, it is edible. I even mentioned earlier that I don't have much experience with the ink sauce yet."
Correct, Tempest had said something like that. Ornstein hadn't taken it literally back then...
"But won't that stain my mouth when I eat it?"
"It will be easily washable.", Tempest said, "And besides, even if it stays, it must look sick, having black stains in your mouth. Very goth."
"I am not a goth.", Ornstein said in a weak attempt to defend himself.
"Yeah, you are a jock, but a nice one.", Tempest said, "Now sit down again, it might get messy soon."
Ornstein did as told, watching as Tempest got the noodles off the stove and tilting the pot until they all fell neatly into the sieve in the sink. Tempest left them there and then got a bottle of wine from the pantry.
"I am just glad that alcohol evaporates when you heat it, because you are a lightweight, Ornstein.", he said as he uncorked the bottle.
"I know... don't remind me of it.", Ornstein sighed. He would get drunk from even one glass of wine. It had been like this already when he had lived in Lordran, apparently some things never changed, even if you are reborn.
"It's quite charming.", Tempest said, "But someone of your size and build being drunk is... not easy to handle, to say the least. I was glad that Artorias was there to handle you."
"Like I said, don't remind me.", Ornstein shuddered, not even wanting to know what kind of things he did when drunk.
Tempest got a pan out and put it onto the still hot hob, then added some oil. Olive oil, if Ornstein had to guess, it smelled quite strongly. That would be a Mediterranean taste. Tempest waited a bit until it had heated up and then added the onions and the garlic. The kitchen got drowned in the rather strong smell of the vegetables until Tempest added some wine to it and then tossed the squid rings inside.
It already started to smell really good. Ornstein probably would have burned the onions and confused the wine with vinegar. He just sucked at cooking and almost no amount of trying made it better, even though Tempest tried to teach him.
"I keep them in just a little bit until they are brown.", Tempest said, "And then we'll add the pasta."
Tempest regulated the heat and went to the sink to get the pasta, then he mixed them into the already present ingredients and moved the pan up and down.
"Sometimes I wonder why you insist on having no muscles. You must be quite strong to handle a pan easily like that.", Ornstein said.
"It's different if it is a pan.", Tempest said, "I am used to them and know how to handle and move them. Everything else is so heavy to me, even if it would be the same weight."
Ornstein supposed that made sense. He watched further, seeing the noodles turn brown when Tempest added the ink. In an instant, the whole meal turned black. It looked as wild as it looked fascinating. A bit of salt, pepper and some herbs later, Tempest pulled the pan off the stove and prepared the meal on a plate.
"And it is finished.", Tempest said and Ornstein could see the sparkle in his eyes as he regarded the finished meal. He carried the plate over to Ornstein and put it down in front of him.
"Bon appetit.", he said, sitting down next to Ornstein to watch, as he had done each time they had been in Anor Londo.
"Of course I am happy to taste test.", Ornstein heard himself say, "But you can taste yourself again. You could try it yourself."
"Oh, I will, but I want to hear your opinion first.", Tempest said, "And now don't let me wait any longer. Eat and tell me what it tastes like."
"Alright, alright...", Ornstein picked up the fork in the plate and twirled some pasta around it. It looked wild, all black and it smelled kinda like the sea... Ornstein made sure to spike a squid ring as well and then put everything in his mouth.
The squid was tasty, though it felt a little like rubber while chewing. The pasta was perfectly al dente. And the ink sauce... it was a lot more salty and fishy than he thought. A part of him had been ready to think it tasted chemical, like eating paint, but that wouldn't have made any sense. It was part of an animal after all.
The more Ornstein chewed, the more he could taste the sea in the whole dish. The onions and the garlic gave the whole thing the right flavour as well. It tasted good, very good indeed. Ornstein hadn't expected that from noodles covered with ink and zonular squid meat.
"It tastes divine.", Ornstein said, "And you really never tried to prepare this before? Well, you must be a natural, little Storm. I wish I could have eaten that in Lordran."
"There weren't any squids...", Tempest pouted, but then his face lit up, "So you think it would be a good addition to the restaurant?! I will ask my mom if we can add it then.. of course we need to calculate the price and we probably should serve it only in the summer months..."
"And you always complain I take work with me at home.", Ornstein chuckled, then put his attention on devouring the rest of his plate while Tempest started to complain and defend himself.
If Tempest taking work with him at home resulted in him having a tasty fresh meal that he never had tried before, he was more than in favour of it. He already looked forward to seeing what Tempest would cook next.
(Author's note: I want to try squid spaghetti myself... but squid ink is really expensive in my country! One day, I guess... one day I will allow myself this luxury.
So, that was chapter one. I don't know how many chapters there will be in total, for now I will leave this fic open end. As mentioned in the beginning, if you have a recipe for Tempest to cook and serve to Ornstein, feel free to point it out to me in a comment. Ornstein is basically eating everything as long as it isn't super spicy. He isn't good with very spicy food.)