I had another Covert Affairs story going down this route it was called "She's Alive", but I didn't like my writing that long ago or how it was turning out. This will follow down a similar path eventually. Also, I tend to stretch my timelines in stories like this so no guarantee everything with timing is correct. I'm thinking Annie was 17 when she graduated high school, went to college until she was 24 (for Masters). Then traveled abroad until 26-27, then the farm and getting hired from the CIA is about a year long process. Started working for the CIA at 28, almost 29. And now she is about 33,34.

6 Months Post Finale

"You want to go out for drinks with the Campbells again?" Ryan asked Annie on a Wednesday evening, Annie was lounging on the couch Ryan sitting on the floor, both eating Chinese takeout.

At this point joining Arthur and Joan every Thursday for a drink and sometimes dinner was a routine. This was the first out of country mission Annie had been on with the CIA since she went back 6 months ago. With Joan getting her own specialized deep ops department, and with Annie's history of jumping from mission to mission, the CIA finally made her slow down and decompress. It also took 3 months to set up the whole department itself.

Annie hated most of the time she had taken off. She longed to see her sister and nieces but knew she couldn't handle those emotions yet. The first month she spent mourning her relationship with Auggie. Even as she had spent the last 6 months building a real, strong relationship with McQuaid she sometimes still wished for Auggie. Not as her lover, but as her partner in crime and her friend. He called her once every two weeks explaining how beautiful traveling the world was enjoying all the sites that he couldn't see.

The last two months she felt like life was returning to normal. She could almost breathe again, let people in again. The routine of drinks with the Campbells gave her déjà vu to a time before the CIA when she was in college and still got drinks with friends.

At first it was hard putting herself out there with the ex-ex DCS and ex DCS, also her former and future boss. She finally felt like she really knew the Campbells personally, something she never though she would experience. Ryan had always fit in with them, he had known Arthur for years, but it was hard to Annie to see them as friends and not authoritative figures.

Annie had just arrived home from Amsterdam a few hours ago, so resting tomorrow was an option. She grinned, "Of course we are still going out." Annie really liked these Thursday nights now.

The four made their way into the elegant bar, going for a booth today where they would eat. A young couple with their arms around each other another bumped into Arthurs shoulder on the way in.

"Nothing like young love," Arthur remarked sliding into the booth after Joan.

"It's a crazy and powerful thing," Joan added on.

McQuaid's face lit up, "My young love turned out pretty good actually, we got married."

"Most people don't even remember their high school loves." Arthur remarked, "but I vividly remember my first crush in 8th grade. Anyhow none of them were as lovely as my dear Joan," He smiled up at her.

She smirked back, "If you went into depth on all your past relationships, I was about to have to remind you how I win."

"Every day hunny," He agreed.

Annie, usually eager to chime in had remained quiet through this topic. It not going unnoticed by Ryan and he realized they had never really discussed past relationships aside from Auggie. "What about you Annie? How many great young loves did you have? Your still young so all of them count." He was fishing for information. He could only gather so much from her file because it was highly classified, but he had heard rumors of missions entangling with romance when it came to amateur Annie.

Her eyes jumped from the fork she was eyeing, and she tried to let out a light laugh, but something dark danced behind her eyes, "Maybe a few," She sighed, knowing this wouldn't even begin to satisfy the three spies at the table. Part of this Thursday night arrangement was that someone opened up every time, it was how they got to know each other. Opening up isn't something spies to well, specifically Annie, so it was unsaid that every week someone had to spill their guts so to speak.

"Five, I had five before you Ryan, but only 3 that were really that 'young love'," She giggled quoting his wording, "There was Auggie, obviously. We were friends for 4 years before that went anywhere and it was so short lived, but probably the most impactful relationship I have ever been in. Then there was a Simon, I don't really think I loved him. It was complicated. You haven't met Eyal, but you will understand why he is in the list when you finally do. I never loved him romantically, more like a brother, but our loyalty to one another has always been fierce and gotten us both in trouble. There was a 2 week flame abroad," She omitted his name was Ben glancing away knowing Joan and Arthur would know who it was. Ryan couldn't know about him, it was classified.

"Sounds like none of them were as awesome as I am. Really though, none of them were serious is how you make it out to sound," Ryan quipped.

"That's only four," Joan let out the obvious, seeming intrigued by this fifth one to come.

"Sorry to interrupt can I grab your drinks, and while you be getting any staters?" A small brunette standing about 5' 3" came by to take their orders. After she walked away Annie picked up, "Definitely the most serious was Auggie, and the hardest. The two-week flame forever changed the course of my life, he was the whole reason I joined the Agency, more or less. But really, the one I think about the most is my first relationship from when I was 16."

"Wow, so you do remember him?" Arthur sounded shocked early claiming most people don't remember their first loves.

"I don't remember my first relationship honestly; I was probably in middle school" Joan commented reassuring her husband.

Annie knew she couldn't say everything, she couldn't say the whole truth, so she decided how she would play it. Some truth is always better than a whole lie.

"It's a bit long," She warned. "I was 16, he was 19. He was in the Army and we weren't supposed to be together, it was exhilarating. The rush of sneaking out at night to see someone. If my Dad had ever found out Chris would definitely be dead. But he was the most gentlemen person and he was young and innocent too. Neither of us knew what it was like to go through betrayal or pain. He made me promise that no matter what we faced in life I would keep my stubbornness because I had the perfect trio: brain for my intelligence, eart for my passion, and gut for my intuition. I turned 17 a month after he turned 19 and then a month after that in May I graduated high school on base. We had already been together 5 months but spent 3 more months in secret that summer until I went off to college. After we stayed in touch and even in a relationship for the first couple years. He got stationed state side an hour away from Georgetown. Then he had an offer he couldn't turn down to help his country, it turned out to be special ops and he was deployed overseas. I was a Senior in college, and I knew he had to leave, but it really destroyed me. That had been 5 years of my life. I stayed in school longer, just trying to focus on something, I learned 2 more languages then. And I spent 2 years travelling the world after I graduated, throwing myself into any guy or relationship, but the flame was the closest that ever came to Chris."

Annie sighed shaking her head, "The world is just such a weirdly small place after all." All eyes were on her after she said that "I traveled the world and met so many people, but in the end it's all a big circle. Chris, my first boyfriend, was killed in 2007, I the same explosion that blinded Auggie." Annie ended with, that was enough of a bomb for the day. It took everyone by surprise.

"Wow Walker," McQuaid relayed, "You sure do have a way of picking all the right ones. How many people that you loved are still alive exactly."

"I'm a dangerous one to love, what can I say. Actually, maybe just you and Auggie."

"And that flame?" Ryan still didn't know Annie's true involvement with Ben, but now was certainly not a night for that.

"Yea, I don't really keep tabs on him. He's dead to me at least," She wanted to leave it at that.

A glance up at her former bosses and Arthur seemed tuned into the conversation, but Joan knew Annie very well. She could always tell when Annie was up to something. Annie hoped that Joan hadn't sensed anything off in her story. Most of it was true, Annie rethought. She did have a great first boyfriend, their relationship was well, he was part of Auggies unit. Annie wasn't lying about anything in fact, she was just concealing a whole year of her life from the timeline, and the most important secret she has kept from the entire world for 17 years.

Joan thought over the information and knew something didn't line up. But Joan and Arthur both knew secrets about Ben and right now her goal had to be to change the topic of conversation. Nothing involving Ben Mercer would ever be good news.

"Oh wow, in other news," Joan pretended she had just received a text, "Look at what the sitter sent," She waved her phone out in front of the group, "Mac is getting is finally getting this tooth," She zoomed in on the picture and tapped her leg against Arthurs. This picture was from two nights ago he had already seen it, but she needed her husband to go along with it.

"Aww he is so handsome," Arthur chimed into the conversation.

"I remember Chloe was teething horribly around this age, does he keep you up?" Annie asked.

. . .

. . .

To be continued…