Blaine Abernathy: A Canary Caged
Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games
Chapter 47: A Farewell
Blaine's POV
Death was a common thing.
It was the end of the line in life.
Sometimes, death is merciful, and other times, it is cruel. It may come quick and painless or long and agonizing. A shadow that is constantly behind you. In the end…Death comes.
It comes in many forms. Natural and unnatural. Whether it be murder, accidental, medical, or age.
In the end, death becomes a friend.
Then again, I have been desensitized from it. As I killed or witnessed it on the regular. Whether it be from someone I loved, know, or a tribute.
So, when I visited the Covey, primarily Aunty Barb, it was apparent death was near. Clerk Carmine and Tam Amber could tell as they kept her company. They, along with their own, are all she had left. All the Bairds were practically gone. All the blood kin she had left was me.
The terrible cousin.
I try my best to visit before curfew. However, there were times when it became too late that I would spend the night sleeping on the torn couch or on the floor. Anything to spend as much time with her when I'm not training. On recovery day. Aunty Barb was once an active woman, as she used to play the bass. It sat in a corner in the main room, with a worn guitar and a lone drum. With the Hob gone, the Covey barely gets to perform.
I remember Granny Maude playing the guitar as she tried to teach me along with her drum. But the guitar was her passion. As if it was a dear friend. Even my mom could play the guitar to continue. Only when visiting the Covey. But when Haymitch broke the connection to protect everyone, my memory of playing dwindled.
I was tempted to learn after winning my game and working with Simon. I learned a few songs, but as I plucked those strings, I was filled with so many emotions that I stopped. A part of me was dead and could not hold the lively as playing a guitar. Sometimes alone, with Aunty Barb resting in her chair, I would pluck the strings, playing a song from the past, except only a few notes and melodies.
Aunty Barb could tell music has been a struggle for me. As she is aware, music holds a different meaning to me than it is to her. For I was a canary surrounded by toxic air instead of free to breathe.
She would talk about the past.
I listen closely, savoring every story from before the Dark Days to now.
We talked as I watched the essence of her younger self show.
Until one day, she called me Lucy Gray after putting groceries away.
The realization that President Snow altered me to look like Lucy Gray. Besides my eyes and current hairstyle, I strongly resembled my cousin, whom I never knew. A cousin who was a Victor and had a relationship with Coriolanus Snow. The original Covey told me, showing a picture. I explained the songs I sang; she sang them too. It was a sensitive topic. So, when she called me that, I tensed.
"Lucy Gray, are you in love?" she asked.
I took a deep breath, for Clerk Carmine told me it was best to go with it than correct her. Although Barb Azure did not have dementia or Alzheimer's, she was an elderly woman.
"Barb Azure," I started, turning around to face her though stop.
The willowy woman smiled, "I think that Capitol Boy fancies you."
I sighed; it was better to play along than correct her. Especially if it can get me some inside on Lucy Gray. Yet the relationship with Snow is questionable. Yet…President Snow could have been different six decades ago. But something happened. something that caused Lucy Gray to disappear and the man who became President Snow.
"Ya think so?" I asked, using a District 12 accent.
I lost my accent on the regular, but it comes now and then with the Covey around. As if they know how to draw it out.
"Oh yes," She continued, taking a sip of her tea.
"I don't know," I said as I came over, taking a seat across from her.
Aunty Barb set her glass down, "Please. He helped you in the arena. He chose District 12 and spends his days off with us…well, you," she gave a giggle.
I replied with a hum, "Maybe."
Aunty Barb reached over, taking my hand. I noted her hands were so cold despite the late spring weather.
"Be careful, though," she warned.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
Her dark eyes stared deeply into my own as she answered, "Trusting a man is hard. Most of all, a man who holds secrets. Secrets are like poison. You never know until it strikes… like snakes. For when a snake is afraid, it'll strike. And some secrets can kill."
I gulped and took a deep breath, knowing that it was true. I wonder if Aunty Barb questioned Snow's integrity back in the day. Did she see him as a snake in their garden? Did she have her suspicions before Lucy Gray's absence? Primarily when President Snow uses poison as a weapon.
"I'll be careful," I assured her.
She gave a sincere smile.
It would be a few weeks before Billy Bronze and Jolene Sage rushed into the Victors' Village. I was fighting with a staff against Peeta as we tried to broaden our horizon of weapons. I nearly had Peeta pinned when the two came in screaming.
"Yellow Maysilee!"
It caught me off guard that Peeta managed to break the lock between our staff and knock me down. I groaned, not expecting the impact and pain in my chest. I lay there, trying to catch my breath, staring at the sky and Peeta.
"What's going on?" Katniss asked as she came over.
Peeta leaned down, offering a hand. I took it as he pulled me up onto my feet. I looked at Billy Bronze and Jolene Sage, seeing the panic in their eyes.
"What is it?" I asked.
"It's Barb Azure…. she's…she's…" Jolene Sage started but stopped.
Billy Bronze stepped in, "She is talking to Maude Ivory and Aspen."
My heart dropped. One of the early signs of death being near is seeing loved ones. So, seeing Granny Maude and her wife Aspen meant it was close. I glanced at the others since they were training for the Quarter Quells…yet this was family.
"Go, I got them," Haymitch assured.
I nodded and ran over to the two teens as we quickly made our way to the Seams.
.o0o.
We rushed in as the Covey and their family filled the old house. All stared at me, some giving their disappointment. I ignored them as Tam Amber came over.
"Is she?" I stopped myself, unable to say anything.
"She's still alive," Tan Amber assured.
I sighed in relief. He wrapped his arm around me and led me to Aunty Barb's room. She sat on the bed, her back leaning on countless pillows as she laughed and talked to someone near the wardrobe by the foot of the bed. But no one was there.
"She had a burst of energy this morning as if she was twenty years younger," Tan Amber whispered. "But when she started talking to no one, Clerk Carmine and I thought it was best you get here."
I looked at him with watery eyes, "Thank you."
Tam Amber nodded as he made our presence known, "Barb Azure, Yellow Maysilee is here."
Aunty Barb stopped her conversation as she turned her head to face us, giving her crooked smile, "Blaine, you won't believe who is here?"
"Who, Aunty Barb?" I asked as I came over.
"Why Maude Ivory, of course," she answered. "And Aspen."
"Really?" I asked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.
Aunty Barb nodded, "Just talkin' about the good old days and mentionin' the successful singer you've become."
"No, you didn't," I teased.
"You callin' me a liar?" she challenged.
"No," I chuckled, wiping the tears away.
She frowned when seeing my tears, "These tears should not be shed over me, little wildflower."
Her frail hand cradled my cheek while her thumb wiped a tear away.
"Aunty Barb," I mumbled. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being the worst kin you ever had."
She shushed me, "Don't say that, dear."
"It's true, though," I argued.
"Maybe so, but you did things out of survival and protection," she said. "I just wish we had done more for you."
I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't.
She gave a small smile, "Sing me your song, Yellow Maysilee. Sing me your song."
"I don't have a song," I countered. "My name is not even a ballad."
"Still, sing me a song that is yours alone," she assured.
I sighed as I asked for the guitar. Tam Amber went to get it, and he brought it back, taking a seat on the chair. Clerk Carmine took a seat by the windowsill while others filled the room. The Covey taking their spots. I've been writing this song for some time since returning to District 12. Trying to understand my emotions and connections with people. I'm not sure who to trust or who to care for since I've been used and hurt so many times.
As I began to sing, I fickle with the strings to get my desired melody.
These days, I'm not goin'
See, the comfort I tried to shake is slowly growin'
I don't know which way to play these cards I'm always holdin'
Well, I thought by givin' my hand a break, I would know then
o
Burn me once, shame on you
Burn me twice and the blame walks free
You thought it'd be nice to hold the eyes I can't see
And if you burn me three times, then the blame's on me
0
You see, my heart's been open
What once was a place for all those fickle boys to leave a hole in
But I've met a good man and all I want is to hold him
Close to my chest, much like these cards it feels like I'm foldin'
0
Burn me once, shame on you
Burn me twice and the blame walks free
You thought it'd be nice to hold the eyes I can't see
And if you burn me three times, then the blame's on me
o
Burn me once, shame on you
Burn me twice and the blame walks free
You thought it'd be nice to hold the eyes I can't see
And if you burn me three times, then the blame's on me
And if you burn me three times, then the blame's on me
After singing the song, the tears were like a waterfall that can never stop. Everyone was quiet, seeing how vulnerable I was. Showing them that I was not what the Capitol had made me out to be. Aunty Barb leaned over and wiped the tears away.
"A lost soul," she murmured. "I hope you find comfort."
I shook my head, "I have what I need."
She held a slight frown. However, needing to change the subject, I tried playing a fun tune, which became a disaster. Jolene Sage stepped in, taking the guitar and playing an upbeat tune. Everyone sang as we comforted Aunty Barb in her final moments.
When she finally announced she was tired, everyone was making their way out. I pecked her on her cheek.
"Get some rest," I told her.
She nodded, giving a tired smile.
Tam Amber and Clerk Carmine stayed by her side.
It would be late in the night when Barbara Azure Baird died in her sleep, holding the hands of the two men she truly loved as family. She did not die alone.
Death was kind.
Death gave her a peaceful farewell surrounded by her family. She lived a long life, even when her early years were rough, losing her intermediate family and loved ones, followed by starvation. She survived.
She had a wife she loved.
She raised the Covey as her own children.
A home.
She had nearly everything…
…except answers.
.o0o.
The Seams had a gathering to honor Barb Azure. Even the Peacekeepers who patrol the Seams ensure no word gets to Commander Thread or in the area. Black was forbidden, so everyone was dressed in color. After the paperwork and cremation, the Covey had Barb Azure's ashes buried in the cemetery next to her wife. Not too far from my grandparent's and mother's grave. The procession back was filled with songs from the Covey.
Once back at the house, everyone filled the yard, talking about the stories of Barb Azue and singing songs. Even Clerk Carmine and Tam Amber said the Ballad that Barb was named after called Barbara Allen. Many try not to laugh since Clerk Carmine did not have a singing voice, while Tam Amber's voice aged drastically.
Everyone who lived nearby or knew Barb Azure attended. Even Greasy Sae, as she brought a batch of her stew to the Covey. Although, knowing the limitation on resources, I gave her some money. I sat on the porch, watching everyone play, chat, and sing.
A life I could have had had the Abernathys not been cowards.
A life I could have had if it was not a chain.
But I was not Covey.
Blaine was not from a ballad, a song, or a poem.
Its name meant a color, while Maysilee was named after the tribute who saved Haymitch.
She is named after a wildflower.
Even though Covey is in my blood….
I am nothing.
Burn Me Once by Bella White
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