Blaine Abernathy: A Canary Caged
Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games
Chapter 48: History Repeating
Blaine's POV
Winter turns into spring, as the birth of life grows that of summer, only to fall in the autumn crisp and die again in winter. Life was like the seasons, from the birth of spring, the life of summer, the dying in fall, and the death in winter. A circle, in which not many people see as they go through the motion. I hardly paid attention to the seasons, only to hate the winter and loathe the summer days.
Winter has haunted me for nearly six years. As my arena of the tundra mountains was covered in snow. Summer just had to be the reminder that every year was the Hunger Games. This summer is when children are supposed to enjoy their freedom from school, yet they stand the second week to dress formally for two to be reaped for the game, but not this year.
The year where the tributes shall be reaped from the surviving pool of victors!
The last several weeks have been tiresome. We all had finished watching every Hunger Games recap of the living victors. Training nonstop in combat to survival skills and taking care of any finished business.
After Aunty Barb's passing, I continued caring for the Covey. Ensuring money is given to them and securing Aunty Barb's home. It was tedious, as the town's government tried to seize it to give to another starting couple. Yet with convincing evidence and a large sum, the house was transferred to Clerk Carmine. While his previous home was given to his grandson, who just got hitch.
Followed by draining most of my bank account to give to the Covey and the fallen tributes' families. Abigail hugged me dearly, saying she would pray for me, not because of the money but because I was her late son's friend.
Let alone the nightmares. My nightmares had worsened to the point I was screaming awake, or stuck in paralysis. Shiloh tried to soothe me, yet my episodes seemed to scare her away. All I could do was lay there and let reality sink in.
I was safe.
I was not going into the arena.
And soon after, the guilt would consume me and I would cry into my pillow.
When the Reaping day came, I lay in bed for a while. I was still trying to figure out what to do in the morning, for the Reaping will start at two O'clock in the afternoon. So, I lay there, already playing my part to make it seem like I was a tribute. An act to keep the citizens from being suspicious. From keeping Peeta, Katniss, and Haymitch from being suspicious.
The phone rang. Not the tablet on the nightstand, since Finnick would have video message me. So, getting out of bed, I made my way to the phone and answered it.
"Blaine Abernathy from District 12, speaking," I spoke.
"Hello, Ms. Abernathy," It was Snow.
"Hello, President Snow," I replied.
"I just wanted to remind you, do not volunteer," he said.
I inhale sharply. Volunteering may be my redemption for all the misdeeds I have done. For all the lives I killed or failed to save, for all the secrets and betrayals. Just volunteer into the arena to fight alongside Finnick and Johanna. However, President Snow will go after the Covey and Cinna if I volunteer. Therefore, I must submit.
"Understood, sir," I confirmed.
A hum could be heard, "And Happy Hunger Games."
"Happy Hunger Games," I replied.
No doubt he took pleasure in my suffering. With nothing else to say, he hangs up. I sighed, setting the phone down. That was when Haymitch came over, asking for a walk with him.
"Who was that?" Haymitch asked.
"Just Simon," I lied. "Wanting to go over the interviews."
Haymitch nodded, "Get dressed. We're going out."
I nodded as I went back to my room to get dressed. Haymitch said we would be coming back, so it would not take too long. So, I got dressed and the morning routine was done. I joined Haymitch in the living room. It was probably the last day we could have as a family, so we took a stroll through District 12, stopping at the local flower shop to buy a bouquet of flowers.
"Dad, who are those for?" I asked.
"Your mother," Haymitch answered with a sad, long look.
"Oh," I breathed as he paid, and we headed towards the cemetery.
District 12 cemetery wasn't like any other cemetery. Nobody could afford an actual funeral with coffins or elaborate tombs and stones that many people cremate the deceased. The only people who could afford coffins and tombstones were those who were part of the Capitol government in the Justice Building, Peacekeepers, Victors, and finally, Tributes who died in the Games. Tributes who died in the games come back in coffins with their tombstones as condolences and sadistic reminders that they died for their district's sins. Everybody lived in a box, that of the fences keeping the people in. Anybody who dies would rather be cremated than spend eternity in another box.
When we reached the victors and family section of the cemetery, there was hardly a handful of gravestones, only the first victor of District 12, his wife, a child who was claimed in the game, and finally, my mother's tombstone. We stood to read the heading:
Lucy Galanthus-Abernathy
Loving Friend and Mother
The last stanza, confusing for most people, would engrave a loving wife and mother. However, the relationship between Haymitch and Lucy wasn't a romantic story. They loved each other. Only their love was of friendship, a shoulder to rely on, and a companion. My mother told me long ago that Haymitch's heart loved another woman, his true love being taken away from him as punishment for an irrational yet survival decision. When he used the force field, a stunt that baffled, if not embarrassed, the Capitol. The woman who was Lucy's best friend. Nothing could replace the love Haymitch and his girlfriend had, but the love Lucy and Haymitch had was close. Two souls who seek comfort in the person they lost and grow close to keep their friend alive.
And soon, I was born Blaine Maysilee Abernathy. The sad part was I wasn't named just after Haymitch's tribute partner in the Second Quarter Quells; I was also named after the girl who was loved by my parents.
"I remembered the day when I started drowning myself, and Lucy barged into my house with a bucket of water and told me to grow a pair," Haymitch said with a chuckle. "It was after I lost my family, and she never gave up on me."
"Dad," I was unable to say anything.
"You look so much like your mother, but not those eyes," he continued, tapping my nose. "Your mother would be proud of you."
"And you too, Dad," I said, squeezing his hand tightly. "You stayed strong for me."
Haymitch nodded, handing me the bouquet, and I set it on the tombstone. He stood there deep in thought, probably talking to Mom or thinking of the past, the years he had some peace. I stared at the grave. It has been years since I came here, and it became so emotional that I started talking mentally.
Hey mom, it's me, Blaine. It's been a long time, and I'm sorry I couldn't come and see you. I couldn't- no, I just can't for everything that happened, that I…you know. A lot has happened, and you know it since you're watching over me. I don't know if you're proud of me or not. I made a lot of mistakes, terrible mistakes that if Dad or anybody heard the truth…. I might lose everybody. But now things are changing, and it might be a good thing.
I met somebody, and he's good, mom. He treats me like a real man should and understands me….and it scares me. I don't know what it's like to love, and the love I'd seen with you and Dad is similar. You probably don't know him, but his name is Cinna, Chanel's son. However, he's the complete opposite and so packed with kindness and creativity that you might've liked him. Although I doubt we could be together?
Today, the Reaping, and I'm completely losing my mind. I know I have been pardoned from the games… butI don't want my friends to die, either. I don't think I can go through that experience again. Most of my life has been a lie or controlled to survive, but now I need redemption. Only how can I find redemption if I continue the path I'm walking on? I wish you were here, Mom. I wish things could be different so I won't be afraid of the future. Maybe we can talk about this in the distant future …if the time does come?
Please give me strength.
How long we stood there was unknown before Haymitch connected back to reality and suggested we leave. I nodded. As we headed back to Victors' Village. Going to our own houses to get dressed. Cinna's outfit arrived a few days ago. It was a knee-length dress in a charcoal gray color. Nothing couture or fancy. After getting washed and dressed, I grabbed one last thing. I grabbed my token, which was my mother's snowdrop pin, and slid it into my bun.
Afterward, I grabbed my purse and put Shiloh in it. The kitten meowed innocently, except before I left, I walked to the backyard under the tree where Midnight was buried. The word Midnight was carved on the bark of the tree's trunk, and I wonder who did this. Only the victors who knew about Midnight's death were Peeta, Katniss, Haymitch, Finnick, Johanna, and Miya. Since it wasn't the other districts, I thought it was Peeta…. but he wasn't handy with a knife, and Haymitch wasn't coordinated during the time. Katniss…. Did Katniss carve this? Nothing was said, and the question remained a mystery.
I smile sadly, thinking of the good memories of the damn cat.
.o0o.
At two O'clock sharp, it was a disastrous day in the inferno heat of District 12. Approximately the entire district attended in the humid godforsaken town square surrounded by guns. I stood next to Katniss in the girl section on stage, with velvet rope around us, while Haymitch and Peeta were on the other side of the stage. In the center of the podium, the two crystal balls stood practically empty, each holding two slips of paper bearing the four victors' names.
A sense of déjà vu consumed me. We were on the stage only this time, and all of District 12 were in the square. Barely a child in sight. For once, I did not see the young people from twelve to eighteen fearing being reaped. I only saw Prim in the front row, along with members of the Covey.
The Reaping It was actually short. Somehow, that made me suspicious. They didn't play President Snow's propaganda on the Hunger Games, let alone Mayor Undersee giving the speech of the Treaty of Treason, including the news that this year's game is a Quarter Quell. Something seemed off, let alone ten minutes after the clock tower rang. Effie, in her butterfly attire, began to speak:
"Welcome. Welcome. As we celebrate the seventy-fifth anniversary and third Quarter Quell of the Hunger Games. As always, ladies first."
She made her way to the bowl for the female tributes. There, two cards rested. I know my fate. Bowing my head, letting my hair cover my face, I whispered low to Katniss.
"I'm sorry."
Before Katniss could reply, I stood tall, eyes focused on the golden-wigged woman as she glanced at us with hesitation and regret. Her laced, gloved hand went into the bowl, and she stared at the small parchment with disdain as she made her way to the center.
"The Female Tribute from District 12," Effie said, reading the slip. "Katniss Everdeen."
Katniss looked at me with pleading eyes to volunteer. A part of me wanted to. But I couldn't. I shook my head no, not because I didn't want to volunteer, but because I couldn't, not without risking the lives of the people I care about. The girl sighed, disappointedly walking center stage, keeping the act with her head held high, yet a lone tear fell.
"Wonderful," Effie tried to praise, clearing her throat. "And now for the men."
Effie took a deep breath, went to the male bowl, and plucked out the next tribute name.
"The male Tribute from District 12." She said, reading the name aloud with a heavy sigh. "Haymitch Abernathy!"
Somebody punched me in the chest when I heard my father's name being called. Everybody knew that Haymitch was going to the games for Peeta after last year. But still, it was horrifying to hear the only family you had left being reaped. Haymitch shrugged his shoulders when Peeta stopped him.
"I volunteer as Tribute!" Peeta exclaimed.
The town square became speechless.
What the hell is he doing? I thought, baffle.
Haven't we decided that Haymitch would go to the games for him to stay alive? He can't possibly go back on the agreement after everything we settled on. Katniss also held the same expression, furious and shocked, all melting into one, that Peeta would do such a thing until looking into his eyes. Those blue eyes filled with love that could never be returned.
Haymitch grabbed Peeta by the arm to stop him. They argue that it was hard to hear, yet I could hear Peeta say: "You can't stop me."
Peeta shoved his arm away and reached the center of the stage next to Effie.
"Very well, the Tributes from District 12," Effie said, forcing a smile and placing her hands on each of them. "Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark."
Silence engulfed the area.
"Well, all that remains is…" Effie started, then stopped.
Mrs. Everdeen did the three-finger salute. Followed by Prim and Gale. More people soon joined, and I spotted the cameras quickly shutting down. No doubt Snow doesn't want to air this. Seeing this, Peeta did the same, followed by Katniss.
Out of nowhere, Commander Thread made his way over, grabbing Katniss by the arm and dragging her away. Another Peacekeeper did the same to Peeta. Katniss argued, saying she needed to say goodbye.
"New plan. Straight to the train," Thread informed, taking her inside the Justice Building.
During the chaos, I quickly grabbed the folded slip of paper inside the female bowl and followed orders. The protocols for the games were diminished, for the tributes won't be able to say goodbye to their loved ones in the Crying Room. Again, something was not right.
The peacekeepers ushered us to the cars delivering the team to the train station. Once more, it is a missing piece of the puzzle when the station persists to be isolated. No reporters corresponded with the recaps. I held more suspicion than ever before, including the lack of manners when being hurried onto the train while shoved through the door after taking off. Katniss and Peeta ran towards the window to see their beloved home disappear, unable to say goodbye to their loved ones.
I pulled out the paper, seeing if this year's Reaping was a repeat from the past? Slowly lifting the black seal, I read the name that should've been mine:
Katniss Everdeen
History was repeating itself once again. I handed this to Haymitch, who scowled at the little envelope. President Snow intended that Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire returned to the arena with the most experienced, lethal, and probably wisest tributes in the past seventy-five years.
The odds were not in her favor.
.o0o.
I couldn't retain the emotions and decided to hide from the Star-crossed lovers until dinner. I needed to think and try to forget horrible memories. However, the memories worsened when I was greeted by another bouquet of Sunflowers and a glass of a Vesper Martini. This time, there were six of them.
Four -The sunflower is a favorite emblem of constancy.
Seventeen- A Mockingjay cannot be without the Jabberjay and the mockingbird.
If To Kill a Mockingbird falls, then the Jabberjay pays the toll.
Mockingjay is a face of freedom, but a Jabberjay is the voice of reason.
One seeks revolution, while the other seeks revelation.
Though from the same womb in which they know.
One rises from fire than the other in the burning ashes of snow.
Seven- Exile the Jabberjay, yet they continued onward.
Six….
I walked towards the bouquet, setting Shiloh on the bed, and picked up the ivory card inked with the presumed Jabberjay:
This is war!
I collapsed on the bed, grabbing my head. It can't be. It's impossible. I killed him. I killed him personally, if not…accidentally. How is it possible for Xavier Varick to be alive and send me these stupid flowers? The Martini was his signature drink. The Sunflowers were the flowers he gave me when I escorted him. 17-7-6 was the combination of the private vault containing the hard drive President Snow wanted a file.
How am I getting these message flowers from a dead man?
Damon assured that he'll clean up the mess and make Varick's death appear natural or some mugging. I don't know what cliché excuse, but Varick was publicly announced dead and cremated. My heart was racing, thumping louder than the train rails, louder than the wind blowing against the bullet train.
I grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. Shiloh jumped out of her comfort zone and looked at me suspiciously and confused. Looking at her eyes, I could see Midnight. Shiloh wasn't Midnight. Shiloh was Shiloh, a kitten, not an intelligent cat.
Unable to concentrate, I stared at the vase until Haymitch knocked on the door, announcing dinner was ready. Taking a deep breath and organizing myself, I came out. Haymitch gave a suspicious look but didn't press farther.
Dinner seemed reasonable. Peeta and Effie tried to start a conversation. Katniss appeared numb, Haymitch pouring some spirit into his drink while I lost deep thought.
The typical dinner of District 12, nothing creative or even active, just …. Oh, I give. We're a messed-up team.
"I like the new color for your hair, Effie," Peeta complimented.
"Thank you. I had it specially done to match Katniss's pin. I thought we might get you a golden ankle band, Blaine a ring, and maybe find Haymitch a golden bracelet or something so we could all look like a team," Effie said.
"That's a great idea," Katniss joined in the conversation. "Haymitch, what do you think?"
"Yeah, whatever," Was all Haymitch could say.
"Shall we watch the recap of the Reaping?" Effie suggested, cleaning herself up with a napkin.
.o0o.
If I had to choose between being bothered in a fashion conversation with Effie or watching the Reaping. I would ask Effie how long it takes to do her entire outfit.
Neither Haymitch nor I wanted to watch the recaps of the Reaping…. to see our friends be called for the second time in the Hunger Games. I practically grew up with these people, the people I considered to be my family. And now I have to sit here and watch all this?
Effie had stood before the television as she prepared herself, taking a deep breath. "Everything will be different because it's the Quarter Quells. The Capitol has spared no expense. A new training center. New Tribute living quarters. And, of course, a very special arena. But this year, you'll be facing other victors. Capitol favorites. Smart, cunning, skilled. And they all know one another. You two are the outsiders."
And thus, we watched the recaps.
I took a deep breath, absentmindedly petting Shiloh continuously, who seemed to like the attention.
The recaps started with Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith reviewing the reading of the Quells and how emotional this game would be. Afterward, they began the recaps, starting with District 1, which Cashmere volunteered, and her brother Gloss got reaped. District 2 tributes have Enobaria reaped, who waited for somebody to volunteer, except nobody in the female area did, while Brutus volunteered proudly. District 3 tributes Beetee and Wiress. District 4…. automatically drafted Finnick while Annie Cresta's name was called. Annie broke down in hysteria until Mags volunteered to take her place. I practically cried silently as Districts 5 and 6 representatives went until Seven came, drafting Johanna and Blight. District 8 reaped Woof and Cecelia.
"No, not Cecelia!" Effie protested.
Cecelia was one of the victors who actually moved on after her game. She spent a few years as a stylist until she married and had three children. Now, to watch three children become motherless was heartbreaking. I took deep breaths only to miss District 9 and focused on District 10. I prayed intensely that Miya wouldn't get reaped. She is the youngest female victor but still has a future ahead. Luckily, Miya's name wasn't called, though the young cowgirl cried over her mentor, Abby, who did, in fact, get reaped. Along with Colton. District 11 became hard for Haymitch and me as we watched Chaff and Seeder get reaped.
Chaff is Haymitch's best friend, and he represented an uncle figure to me. Once they showed District 12 reaping, Haymitch immediately left the entertainment cart, followed by Effie with goodnight.
Katniss, Peeta, and I sat in the lounge, unsure what to say. Peeta scribbled into his notes while Katniss avoided eye contact. I stood up with Shiloh in my arms, "Goodnight, you two."
"Night, Blaine," Peeta said in return.
So, leaving them alone, I returned to my quarters, setting Shiloh down, and glared at the sunflowers. Not considering the possibilities, I grabbed the vase and threw the damn flowers out the window, and afterward, headed to the bathroom for a shower. A while later, hot water poured down on me; nonetheless, I collapsed on the ground crying. All of my friends are going to the Games again. Unable to hold it in, I turned off the shower and grabbed a robe before landing on my bed with the tablet, pressing connect. It took a moment before I heard Cinna's voice.
"Blaine, everything is going to be alright."
"No, it isn't!" I sobbed. "Everyone I cared for is going to die. The people who I grew up with, the people who raised me…. I don't think I can do this."
"Blaine, calm down and take deep breaths." Cinna directed, and I complied.
"Cinna," I whispered, hoping the line was still connected.
"I'm here." He replied back.
"I'm scared."
"I know, but you know how to express your feelings. Just believe in yourself and keep your head up high."
Understanding what he meant, I grabbed the lyrics Simon gave me, and months passed. We Remain. Simon sent it during the spring to go over the lyrics. At first, I was hesitant, but after Aunty Barb's passing, I needed to do this. I need to make another statement towards the Capitol for taking practically everyone away from me. No longer will I stand and watch those I love and care to perish.
Not in this war.
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