A/N: (Updated November 22, 2023) Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait. Life's been busy. Hit a wall and took too long a break. -_-' Hope you guys are doing good out there. Happy Thanksgiving! :) \m/
Disclaimer: Me no own ASOUE.
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Chapter 13
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"Once upon a time, I woke up and looked in the mirror, and there I saw the prettiest, smartest, most darling girl in the whole wide world," Carmelita said.
Oh. My. God. Kill me. Please. This was the hundredth story she'd told since we'd gotten up a few hours ago. It was still storming outside, so I was stuck in here until it died down, and frankly, I couldn't take it anymore. I was willing to take my chances with the storm. Oh, God, what did I do to deserve this? I guess this is karma for me pulling that prank on Duncan the day before the fire. Although, I will admit, I had a much better sleep than I did the other night. Aside from the Ice Queen, I actually slept like a baby. All thanks to that fire and those extra blankets. And for that, I was thankful.
"I put on a lovely pink dress to make myself look even prettier, and I skipped off to school where my teacher told me I looked more adorable than anyone she had ever seen in her entire life, and she gave me a lollipop as a special present–––go away, cakesniffers!" Carmelita shouted suddenly, glaring at two shadows that had just hurried into our cave. "This's a private cave!"
Yeah. Please go away. Don't suffer here like I am. Not that I had a choice, anyway. I was stuck here until the storm died down.
"Carmelita, who are you talking to?" the woman asked timidly, looking at the cave entrance.
"Some people are in our cave and they look like cakesniffers!" Carmelita said.
The snow scouts around me started snickering. How could she tell what they looked like if she'd never seen them yet? I couldn't even make them out. It was too dark in here, except for the fire. The two shadows crept closer to where we were sitting. Finally, they walked into the glow of the fire and–––
IT WAS HER!
My jaw dropped behind my mask. Violet Baudelaire herself was standing before me on the other side of the fire, her brother Klaus right beside her. Talk about sheer luck. My heart started to pound in my throat and my cheeks began to burn. She was even more beautiful in person. But there was something about her that broke my heart. It was how she looked––she looked cold, she looked hungry, she looked tired, and she looked scared. Very scared. Like she was a deer being hunted. I mean, of course she was. That sinister man and woman I met yesterday confirmed that. And things weren't going to end well if they were still up here and we ran into them. I remembered what Jacques told me. I had to protect her–––er, I mean them.
"Baudelaires?" I said.
Violet and Klaus looked at me, along with everyone else. They seemed surprised that I knew them. Everyone else began to murmur amongst themselves.
"Wait…you are the Baudelaires!" Carmelita declared, standing up. "You're those orphans from Prufrock Prep who lost your home in a fire and Vice Principal Nero expelled you!"
"No, we've never been to Prufrock Prep," Violet said hurriedly, shaking her head, her eyes widening.
"He did not expel us!" Klaus shot back.
The woman gasped, springing to her feet, ready to run for her life. "I hope not!" she said fearfully. "I read about those terrible children in The Daily Punctilio! It said they are murderers and arsonists!"
Violet shook her head, she and Klaus looking desperate for a way out of this. I winced. Great job, Quigley. Way to protect them.
"They started that enormous fire that's still raging across the Hinterlands!" the woman continued.
"Well, we're–––we're not them, we're uh–––" Klaus stuttered, looking at Violet for help.
"Mountain climbers," Violet finished immediately.
The woman sighed, relieved. She bought it? Oh, thank God! That was close. I couldn't imagine what would happen if she didn't buy their story.
"We're looking for our sister," Klaus said.
Yeah, now that I think about it, where is Sunny?
"She's about this tall," Violet said, her hand down by her knees. "She has a good set of teeth and she's traveling with a bunch of dangerous-looking people. Have you seen her?"
"We haven't seen anyone," the woman said. "We've been in this cave hiding from snow gnats and the storm. But, we have a map of the mountains you can consult."
No need, ma'am. I've got maps myself. I'll take it from here. I got up from my blankets and made my way over to them. My legs began to tremble. The closer I got to Violet, the more my throat went dry and the faster my heart started beating. Oh, God, I hope I don't pass out. And I hope I don't sound like an idiot when I open my mouth.
"No!" Carmelita yelled. "No! Scoutmaster Brucie, this cave is for snow scouts only, and they're obviously the Baudelaires, look at their little orphan faces."
My blood began to boil. Nobody talks to Violet that way. And Little Miss Ice Queen is really getting on my last nerve. If she wasn't a girl, I would've punched her in the face.
"Now, Carmelita, snow scouts should be accommodating. It's the first word of our pledge," Scoutmaster Brucie said.
"You're snow scouts?" Violet asked.
"Troop one-hundred thirteen is the most exclusive snow scout troop in the city," Carmelita said. "Only non-cakesniffers with rich, living parents are allowed to join. Isn't that right, Brucie?"
The woman shrunk in embarrassment. "I have to carry their luggage," she admitted meekly.
"It's designer," Carmelita said with a wicked grin.
"Carry your own luggage, Carmelita," I snarled, balling my hands into fists.
Carmelita shot me the nastiest glare and I gladly returned the gesture, though she couldn't see it. I looked at Violet and Klaus, whose attention was on me now. I began to shiver. Violet was looking at me. I looked into her beautiful dark eyes and I could see kindness and a bit of rebellion staring back at me. Good thing I had this mask on. Otherwise, she'd see me gaping like an idiot at her.
"You should join us by the fire," I managed to say. "We have extra parkas and snowsuits if you're cold. And extra masks."
Violet let out a relieved sigh. Glad I could put her mind at ease. In fact, I'm glad everything I said made sense and sounded normal. I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of a pretty girl. That would be worse than getting hypothermia out in the storm.
"Why would we want masks?" Violet asked.
"If you're outside, they keep the snow gnats away," Scoutmaster Brucie said.
"And when you're inside, they make a Very Furtive Disguise," I added. Please get my message, Baudelaires. Did they even know about V.F.D. and their codes? I hope they do. Otherwise, I'd have to teach them, and I'm short on time.
Violet and Klaus looked at each other, shocked, then looked at me intently. "Did you say–––?" Violet asked, but I cut her off by shaking my head. So they did get my message. They know about V.F.D.. Awesome! This makes my job easier. But it wasn't safe to speak about V.F.D. here. Who knows what side of the schism these people were on, if they even knew about V.F.D.. I'll have to tell them when everyone's asleep.
I nodded back at the fire and headed back to my spot, the Baudelaires following me. I could see they were already double or triple-layered in an odd choice of clothing, so they were all set there, but they still looked cold, so I gave them each a blanket. I wanted to drape the blanket around Violet myself, but we hadn't "officially" met yet, so I didn't want to creep her out. We sat down on my remaining blankets and huddled by the fire, Violet sitting between me and Klaus. I felt my skin prickle. She was so close to me. So close that I could hold her hand or put my arm around her. I so desperately wanted to. Not yet, Quigley, not yet, I reminded myself. She doesn't know you yet. Don't creep her out. Her scent drifted into my nose and I found myself fighting for air. She smelled fantastic. I felt my mind melt into mush. My head suddenly felt light and everything began rushing around me. I didn't even know her yet and she already had me spellbound. And it was a mystery how she did it. A mystery I had a feeling I'd never solve.
"Now, where was I?" Carmelita said, flopping back down in front of the fire with Scoutmaster Brucie. "…Oh yeah! I remember."
Oh God, not this again. Haven't I already done my time? I guess not. But there was a silver lining to this: I had Violet Baudelaire to look at. And I had a feeling that this wasn't going to be as painful as I thought.
/
"And then Cinderella told Prince Charming that she's got an even more beautiful sister whose name is Carmelita. So he married her instead. And then she divorced him and took all of his money! The end!" Carmelita said with an evil grin, expecting applause.
Oh my God, does she ever shut up? Granted, I had been looking at Violet for the past few hours, unbeknownst to her, thankfully, and I wasn't in such a bad mood as before the Baudelaires came in the cave, but I wasn't totally immune from the narcissistic droning across the fire from me. As the snow scouts clapped unenthusiastically, I took a deep breath and leaned back against the wall, looking up at the V.F.D. eye that was watching me from above. So bad I wanted to climb back up there, just to get away from the her. If I heard another one of her stories, I was going to lose it.
"Now this is the story of Sleeping Beauty's even more adorable younger sister–––"
"Carmelita, you've already told quite a few stories, maybe somebody else would like a turn," Scoutmaster Brucie piped up timidly. Here, she looked over at Violet and Klaus, a curious gleam in her eye. "I bet mountain climbers have interesting stories."
"Yeah. Has anything really terrible happened to you?" Carmelita asked, smirking smugly.
Violet and Klaus looked at each other, obviously torn by her statement. "We'd…rather not share," Violet said after a moment.
"You should be more accommodating," Scoutmaster Brucie said. "After all, snow scouts are…"
Oh God, not again. The whole cave started up into the Snow Scout Alphabet Pledge and I was ready to walk out. To be honest, Violet and Klaus didn't seem to like it, either. As they looked around at what was transpiring, I rolled my eyes and sighed irritably. This was the stupidest pledge I'd ever heard. Creative? Yes. I will admit that it did utilize the alphabet in a creative way. But logically? It failed on all accounts. How could anyone be 'xylophone'? Or 'zippered', for that matter?
"That…that can't honestly be your pledge," Violet managed to stutter when they finished.
"How can anyone be 'xylophone'?" Klaus asked. "It isn't even an adjective."
So I'm not the only one who disagrees with this. Good. Nice to know I'm in good company. "Scoutmaster Brucie couldn't think of another word that began with X," I told him flatly, fighting not to sound sarcastic.
"How about 'xenial'?" Klaus suggested. "It's a word that means–––"
"You can't change the words of the Snow Scout Alphabet Pledge!" Carmelita interrupted. "The whole point of the Snow Scouts is that we do the same thing over and over. We wear the same parkas, we recite the same pledge, and every year we celebrate False Spring at the top of Mount Fraught. And we always make Brucie carry our luggage."
Scoutmaster Brucie looked ready to throw up. My face grew red, but not because of the frosty environment. I was so sick and tired of this girl's blatant disregard for respect. I was ready to defend Scoutmaster Brucie until Klaus decided to change the subject a more polite way.
"What's False Spring?" he asked.
Carmelita glared at him. "Anyone who's not a cakesniffer knows that False Spring is when the weather gets extremely warm before it gets cold again. We celebrate with a dance around a special pole and then I get chosen False Spring Queen!"
"Doesn't have to be you," Scoutmaster Brucie piped up quietly.
"Yes it does!" Carmelita insisted testily. "Because I'm the most accommodating, basic, calm, darling–––"
"Are you sure you two don't have a story?" I cut her off before she could plunge me further into insanity. Adrenaline was now racing through me again, if not from anger then from curiosity. I couldn't take the suspense any longer. I had to clear up the fog that surrounded the Baudelaire family like a shield. And what better source of information about a topic than the source themselves? "I'd love to hear a Very Fascinating Drama."
Violet and Klaus looked at each other, then Klaus smiled as Violet pulled a black satin ribbon from her pocket. Wait, why was he smiling? She was just tying up her hair. I didn't smile when Isadora put her hair up. It wasn't anything special.
"Stop sitting around, cakesniffers!" Carmelita barked. "If you're going to tell us a story, get started!"
"I'm sorry for the delay," Violet said, looking at me. I felt my face turn a different kind of red. You can take all the time you want, Violet. I'm in no rush…well, except to get away from Carmelita. "We haven't had a Very Fun Day, so it's difficult to think of a good story."
My eyebrows rose. She was going to speak to me in code? Okay. Two can play that game. "I didn't realize this was a sad occasion," I said, thankful my throat didn't swell shut.
"Oh, yes," Klaus said. "We've had nothing to eat all day except for some Vinegar-Flavored Donuts."
"And then there were the snow gnats," Violet said. "They behaved like Violent Frozen Dragonflies."
"When they form an arrow, they're more like a Voracious Fierce Dragon," Klaus said.
"Or a Vain Fat Dictator, I imagine," I said, nodding. Their code skills were more impressive than I'd predicted. I thought for a moment. If they knew about V.F.D., then they must know about Vernacularly Fastened Doors. It's worth a shot. Other than everything, what have I got to lose? "Have you read the story of Anna Karenina?"
"Our mother read it to us," Violet said, looking at Klaus.
My eyes widened. They'd read it?! Fantastic! My hands began to burn, mostly from the phantasm of the sugar bowl cradled in them. It won't be long now.
"We were very young so she stopped to explain all the words and themes," Klaus said.
"Boooooring!" Carmelita said, folding her arms and rolling her eyes.
"Anna Karenina is a classic of Russian literature!" Klaus snapped defensively.
"That's another word for boring," Carmelita said. "And so are stories about dead parents."
"Carmelita has a point," Scoutmaster Brucie said. "Anyhow, it's late and I feel sick from eating so many marshmallows. So, everyone get in your sleeping bags. You should stay the night here, travelers. We have some extra horse blankets you can sleep on.
"You cakesniffers should sleep far away from us," Carmelita said. "Those blankets smell like nail polish."
"That's because you spilled nail polish all over them," I snarled at her. Right when I was about to get the third answer to the Vernacularly Fastened Door, my plan had been foiled. I was so ready to strangle her. As everyone climbed into their makeshift beds, I watched Violet and Klaus reluctantly get up, grab the blankets I'd gave them, and head toward the entrance of the cave. Frustrated, I got up to go give them more blankets…and to try again. "Goodnight, Baudelaires," I said quietly, handing them each another blanket. "The fire should die out in a few hours. Some things are easier to find in the dark."
Violet and Klaus looked at each other, puzzled. "Such as?" Klaus asked.
"Missing persons," I said.
"Who are you?" Violet asked.
"Cakesniffers whispering in a cave? Is there anything less adorable?" Carmelita said from behind us. I turned to look at her. "C'mon," she said to me. "We don't socialize with orphans."
I shot her the nastiest glare I could muster from behind my mask, tears coming to my eyes. One more word from her and I'll be on the run for murder. I looked apologetically at the Baudelaires one last time before I headed back to my bed against the back wall of the cave. There was no use trying to talk to them when everyone was still awake. I'd get no safe answers with potential enemies lurking about, watching our every move. I'd have to wait in more suspense. Great. Just what I wanted. I'm already short on time. The last thing I wanted to do was burn what precious little time I had left.
I shifted around uncomfortably in my heap of blankets, debating whether or not I should get some sleep. I didn't want to take the chance of sleeping until morning–––that would be too long. And knowing me, I probably would if I did. But I couldn't pass up a chance, no matter how small, to saw some logs. Ever since Jacques died, the days have been rough on me. The quality of my sleep had suffered tremendously, and, needless to say, I was exhausted. Before the fire, I'd stayed up many nights, working on whatever map interested me at the time, but things would always end up the same: I would spend the next day sleeping in class and asking the person next to me how to do the day's homework. The only difference between then and now is that I'm on a timeclock–––a dangerous one. I was constantly playing chess, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, whether I wanted to or not. Every choice I made had a consequence, and if I chose wrong, it could cost me my life. And sleep played a crucial part in how I decided things. If I ran on fumes, I might as well lock and load a gun and point it at my head. I couldn't afford to make a wrong move.
I sighed. I have to get some sleep, if only for a few hours. Who knows what tomorrow might bring? I need to be ready. Unable to get comfy, I rolled over toward the fire with a frustrated growl and watched the flames voraciously lick the charred logs. I hope Violet's okay. I hope she and Klaus are warm enough. I hope Sunny's okay…wherever she is. I hope I don't oversleep until morning and the Baudelaires leave the cave to go look for her. I have to time my sleep carefully. If I don't, I could lose my one chance at cracking the Vernacularly Fastened Door and securing the sugar bowl. I could lose my one chance at protecting the Baudelaires.
I could lose everything.