The sound of someone yelling in pain didn't even gather any looks of concern as members of Avon Grove High School shuffled through their lockers between periods. They were so used to Cody injuring himself in some way, shape or form that it wasn't worth paying any attention to. Penny collected his math textbook before turning to glance to see what Cody had managed to do to himself this time.
The blond teen was shaking his hand with a miserable, accepting look on his face. It appeared as though he'd slammed his hand in his own locker. Penny sighed, and decided it was his turn to escort Cody to the school infirmary. He had a way of getting lost on the way there if someone wasn't there to prod him along.
Their lockers were three apart, though, and before Penny could offer, someone else beat him to it. Junior Class President Jenny van Pelt strode over, a fierce expression on her face as she caught Cody's wrist to examine the damage. "Hold still," she demanded.
No one gainsaid Jenny when she was focused on something, much less Cody. He looked at his wrist as though puzzled. "I got distracted," he said.
"You're always distracted, you blockhead. Now I'm going to have to take time out of my lunch period to make sure you actually go to the nurse, and not find some excuse not to," she said, heaving a heavy sigh.
"But it's not that bad, and I have math-" he started to protest, only to whither when Jenny shot him another look.
"Melody can loan you the notes," she said. "Come on, the sooner you get there, the sooner I can get back to my lunch."
"You don't-" he made one more feeble try to get out of gaining Jenny as his escort, and ended up whimpering as she started to drag him along down the hallway.
Penny couldn't keep from laughing to himself. Scenes like this were commonplace at school, with someone forcefully shepherding Cody into doing things for his own good. There was a large cast of people who stepped forward for "Cody Duty" without prompting. Despite his never-fail bad luck, Cody was the most popular unpopular kid Penny had ever met. There was just something about him that made trying to help out impossible to resist.
Shoving himself away from his own locker, Penny realized he needed to get moving or end up late to his own class. He'd mention where Cody was to the teacher, and warn Melody that his sister was on the rampage.
Predictably enough, the teacher accepted the excuse with a roll of her eyes, before thanking Penny for his courtesy. Penny wondered if there had been a memo sent out to the faculty warning about Cody, since most of them seemed resigned whenever a situation cropped up.
He slid into the seat next to Melody van Pelt, Jenny's younger brother and likely class valedictorian. The boy was so smart he'd been jumped a year ahead, which most people thought was insane. Not because Melody wasn't smart enough to handle the course load, but because that put him in the same class as his domineering older sister. It would have been kinder to leave Melody in less-challenging courses, no matter how boring they might have been.
"Your sister is going to be after your notes," he said as a greeting.
Melody sighed, resting his hand on his chin on his hand. "I'll stop by the library to make photocopies, then," he said placidly. "I assume it has something to do with Cody?"
"Slammed his hand in his locker, enough to get some preliminary bruising going on," Penny said.
Melody blinked. "Anything broken?"
"Doesn't look like it. He'll be able to play this afternoon," Penny replied.
Melody smiled. "Good. Games just aren't the same without him."
Their high school baseball team – to be polite – sucked. For the past ten years, the Avon Grove Beavers had been successful only in maintaining the losing-est record in the entire league. Most of the would-be athletic stars opted for golf instead. The current team was only in place because Cody begged, pleaded and generally was so pathetic that it would take a very hard heart indeed to turn him down.
But that didn't keep them from losing. As much as he loved the game, Cody was the worst player on the field. Their coach – a worn, nearly-retired teacher who was only in it for the paycheck – pretty much left the team alone, since anyone with any skill at coaching didn't want Avon Grove on their resume. It left Cody, as team manager, the de facto person in charge. And as long as he stood on the pitcher's mound, there was no way the losing streak was going to be broken.
But he was so earnest that no one wanted to point that out. For members of the team, the game was about watching Cody. He would start out with never-ending optimism that this would be the time they'd win, descend into flailing pleading as the indifferent team members didn't give their all into it, and end up screaming up at the sky after the inevitable crushing happened. It was fun to lose, in a way.
The teacher stood at the chalkboard and started to draw diagrams, which both Melody and Penny had learned a long time ago. For lack of anything better to do, they started passing notes discussing Summa Theologica. It was a bit peculiar for teenager boys to do, but Melody was one of the most peculiar people Penny knew, although they were close friends because of it. At age ten, Melody had announced his intention of entering the priesthood. Since Penny was the only one of his peers who had read the entire Bible, it was natural that Melody gravitated toward him.
About half the period had past when Cody finally shuffled in, clutching a late pass to his chest like a life preserver. The teacher wordlessly held out her hand, and he obligingly presented it like a well-trained dog. He hung his head, waiting to be remonstrated and condemned to a week of detentions.
This teacher was one of the kinder ones, and didn't decide to make his life miserable. Instead she directed Cody to ask his friends to help him catch up. She pointed vaguely toward the seats, before turning back to the chalkboard to continue her lesson.
Cody slunk forward, ignoring the titters of his peers as he claimed the vacant seat in front of Melody. His woeful expression didn't change as he fumbled through his backpack to try to produce a notebook.
"Don't bother, Cody," Melody said. "I'll help you catch up during study hall. It'll be less confusing than trying to pick this stuff up halfway through." He gestured to his immaculately kept papers. Penny wondered how Melody managed to take perfect notes while still maintaining an ongoing discussion about the five arguments in favor of the existence of God. But that was Melody for you.
Cody sighed and shifted the ice pack on his wrist. "Thank you," he replied.
"Providing you distract Jenny this afternoon," Melody tacked on.
Penny tried not to laugh as Cody slammed his head into his desk in agony. No one else even gave him a sideways glance, but Melody was smiling in a way that wasn't very holy. Free-market capitalism might not be very religious, but over the years Melody had learned that fair trade was an important method of self-preservation.
"Good grief," Charlie said, his voice muffled.
Penny shook his head, not willing to bail Cody out of this impending debacle. Jenny was a tyrant, and going head-to-head with her was a bad idea. It wasn't like she'd do much to hurt him intentionally. Maybe she'd even want to play football. One of these days, Cody might get the clue that Jenny would never, ever let him kick one, though that was as likely as the Great Pumpkin appearing.
He returned back to the note he'd been writing back to Melody, glanced at the clock, and decided it wasn't worth continuing. He folded it neatly and placed it inside his book. Penny was meticulous about keeping notes and other incriminating evidence – someday, when Melody became a bishop or someone else important – it would pay. Not that he intended on blackmailing his friend, but he knew others (Jenny!) would be less scrupulous. And since Penny had some rather lofty ambitions himself, it paid to cover himself, just in case.
The bell rang a couple of minutes later, and the threesome packed up and left to go to lunch, where they would meet a couple of their other friends, the ones that weren't in early lunch. All three chose to brown-bag it, since the school cafeteria was less than stellar with food preparation, and the lines were so long that it took half the period to retrieve a meal.
Mowgli and Christopher Robin were already at their usual table, one located in a not-particular-desirable location. Only Christopher Robin would qualify as "cool" among their circle of friends, claiming the prestige as the top female athlete in all sports. She was already being recruited by some mid-level university to play lacrosse, and after she broke the thousand point barrier, chances were she'd be able to play basketball as well.
"Yo, Chuck!" Christopher Robin said, offering a wave to Cody. She always spoke to him first, and Penny suspected that Cody was the only one who didn't know she was still nursing a crush on him. He'd never even noticed, not with his wistful infatuation with the school's top cheerleader, whatever-her-name-was with the red hair.
"Hi, Christopher Robin," he said, taking the seat across from her and unpacking a lunch consisting of a slightly soggy sandwich, bag of carrots, sports drink and hunk of cheese. He pulled out an empty-bag, with only crumbs to indicate they'd once held dessert. "Someone ate my dessert," he said, before letting his head slam into the table.
"Was it Snoopy?" Mowgli suggested. "He's always had a sweet tooth."
"Probably," Cody replied glumly, with a heavy sigh. He lifted his head back up, a woebegone look on his face.
"You can have half my Twinkie, if you want," Christopher Robin offered. A sign of true love, to share junk food.
"Thanks."
Penny waited until the dessert was split by a scrupulously fair Christopher Robin and handed over before speaking. "So, Melody – what are you doing this afternoon that leaves you throwing Cody to the wolves?"
"Don't you have a game?" Mowgli asked before taking a bite of the cold pizza she'd brought for lunch.
"That's the problem. Jenny's going to be the announcer," Melody said. "And I accidentally irritated her last night by reminding our parents she'd promised to take Rerun to the movies this weekend."
The group winced sympathetically. Jenny would offer promises thoughtlessly, and most people weren't going to call her on it because while she usually had good intentions, the follow-through was lacking. And heaven help anyone who tried to make Jenny do something she didn't want to. "I can see the soundness of your strategy," Mowgli said."I assume you're going to request that Charles attract her ire instead?"
Melody' face took on a pious expression. "Sacrifices must be made for the greater good sometimes," he answered.
Mowgli smiled in a calm, understanding fashion. "I see," she replied, before picking up her juice box and slurping it.
Mowgli was much like Melody, Penny sometimes thought. They would make a cute couple, but Mowgli was a bit too attached to Christopher Robin for anyone to think of it happening. As for Melody, there was the priesthood vocation he clung to – and many members of their circle had their suspicions about which way Melody swung. Penny had a bet on with Shanti about which of them would come out first. Shanti had wanted to bet on Schroeder as well, but Penny had drawn the line. He knew that Schroeder wasn't gay – Melody had complained quite loudly about what Jenny got up to with her on-again-off-again boyfriend.
A good friend would have tried to talk Melody out of demanding such a payment, but the rest of the group remained predictably silent. Cody was one of those people who ending up as everyone else's whipping boy. It was an unalterable fact of life. None of them even felt the slightest twinge of guilt at that anymore.
Penny's schedule included honors English and Physics, which meant he parted ways from everyone except Melody for the rest of the day. But he needed to pay attention in those classes, so he didn't spend any time worrying about the forthcoming game or whatever-Charlie-Brown-was-going-to-get-Jenny-angry-about. Since he enjoyed school, the time just whizzed past, although he was annoyed to get assigned a five-page report on Othello in English. He hated that play.
When the bell rang, he looked at Melody and packed his bag. "Do I want to know what you're planning on having Cody do?" he asked.
Melody just smiled, and Penny knew Melody had come up with a doozy. They finally met up with Cody and Shanti outside of the boys' locker room. They had an hour to change before their warm-ups started, which left little time to instigate whatever scheme Melody had cooked up.
Cody's expression was like a dead man walking's. "Okay, what do you want me to do?" he asked, as he pushed the door open.
Melody gave Cody what could only be termed a Devil-Inspired look as he blocked Cody from entering. "Oh, no, Cody... you're going that way," he said, pointing to a door across the hall.
Girls' Locker Room.
"Oh, no... oh, no," Cody said, shaking his head furiously and backing away. "That is not worth your notes. I could get expelled!"
"You won't get expelled," Shanti said, rolling his eyes. "Everyone would know you wouldn't do it intentionally." It was a good point, since whatever his faults, Cody had a reputation for integrity.
"It's still not worth it!"
"I'll make it a week's tutoring, all subjects," Melody wheedled.
"No, no, no-"
Then Melody whipped out his ace as he grabbed Cody's arm to pull him toward the door. "You said you would help me, Cody!"
Cody's face crumpled, and Penny could see the moral conflict spread over his face. On one hand, going in the girls' locker room broke all kinds of rules, and would get him killed by whoever was inside. On the other was Cody's word, which he never, ever broke, no matter how much it cost him.
The indecision was his undoing, since Melody used it to maneuver him in front of the door. Too late, Cody finally caught on. "No, wait-" Cody protested, but he was too slow. Shanti gave him a shove through the door, grabbing the handle moments later and shutting it tightly.
Penny had entertained a thought or two about going into the girls' locker room – what guy didn't? But common sense made him keep that idea firmly in the realm of fantasy, since the girls would slaughter anything with a Y-chromosome that entered their area. He sent up a silent prayer for Cody's immortal soul. Jenny had last-period gym, so chances were she was still in the changing room, likely dawdling in the shower. Never mind the rest of the girls in there, Jenny was going to come up with ten ways to commit murder with a shower poof.
They waited on pins and needles of the fallout. It was eerily quiet for several moments, and Penny wondered if Cody had somehow gotten lucky.
Then came the death knell, sounding through the thick wooden door, "YOU BLOCKHEAD!"
The trio looked at each other, and Melody bit his lip. "Maybe I went too far," he said, wringing his hands in a fashion that reminded Penny of the blanket Melody had carried until he was nine.
"Chicken," Shanti replied, rolling his eyes. "He'll forgive you."
There was a loud crash, and the trio winced as their imaginations supplied probable causes of the noise. "I don't want to pitch this afternoon..."
"Should've thought of that before you decided on this." Penny offered the remonstrative gently, feeling it necessary since he hadn't been party to getting Cody into this situation – well, technically. He could at least claim bystander status, although not entirely innocent. "Shanti, if you let the handle go, he can get out. And maybe we should get into our own locker room in case Cody isn't the first person through the door."
Penny made good on his own advice, hightailing it to relative safety. Seconds later, the other two followed, dodging passed the freshmen lockers to the area the varsity teams used. Then they burst out laughing. He tried to collect his composure, but the memory of Jenny's shrieking voice was just too funny. It wasn't often people managed to catch Jenny off her guard.
But as soon as their amused euphoria relaxed, they were left with a deep sense of failure. Cody was such a nice young man that he seemed to ask to have his trust abused. "What are his survival odds?" Penny asked finally.
"My sister was in there," Melody replied. "She's going to break every bone in his body."
"And if Lilo, Mowgli or Christopher Robin were in there, too?"
"Maybe I should call the ambulance," Shanti said, pulling his cell phone out of his hip pocket. "Just in case."
Penny wished that Shanti was just exaggerating, but he knew the ladies, and he knew Cody's infamous luck. Glances at his watch, he realized they'd been hiding for nearly ten minutes. "I'm going to go check," Penny said, bracing himself for one of the most dangerous missions he'd ever undertaken. His father had always stressed the importance of having courage under fire.
The other two watched, wearing expressions indicating a different amount of guilt, but both were cowardly enough to stay behind. Penny held his shoulders straight as he exited his safe zone, unsure if he really wanted to see the carnage.
After pushing the door open, a flash of pink greeted his eyes. It took him a minute to process exactly what Cody was wearing, but when he did, he had to salute Jenny's sheer evilness. He was held in place by Christopher Robin and Lilo, who had his arms linked tightly through their own to keep him from running away. Jenny, of course, was merrily clicking pictures using her Canon Rebel.
Penny looked at the scenario, and seeing no blood or bruises, decided this was the best things were going to get. Of course Cody's pride might have objected about dressing up as a cheerleader, complete with a short miniskirt and bows in his very fine blond hair. Well-applied makeup highlighted his eyes and gave him noticeable lips. He was actually kind of cute, in a downtrodden kind of way.
"Don't you think my big brother looks good?" Lilo asked, fluttering her lashes.
Cody had degenerated into just moaning, and wouldn't meet Penny's eyes. Whatever had happened in the locker room had clearly traumatized him. And the way the girls were smiling indicated they wouldn't be willing to share what they knew.
"I don't think pink's his color. We need our team manager and pitcher," Penny said, raising his voice so it would carry to Jenny. "You can continue his training in cross dressing at some other time."
Jenny took a picture of Penny's face, the flashbulb making his eyes dilate, and throwing him just a bit off balance. "Really, Penny. He's most eager to explore his feminine side – he walked right into our locker room," she returned, and her last words were practically a growl.
"I'm sure he didn't mean to..." Penny said lamely.
Jenny flipped the back of Cody's skirt up, displaying a set of golden spankies. The other girls shrieked in delight, clapping and hooting. "He's got good legs, doesn't he?"
"Please don't say that. He's my brother," Lilo said dryly.
"It's probably a hereditary thing," Jenny conceded magnificently. Lilo smirked in satisfaction, although she almost always wore paint-splattered overalls and rarely showed hers off.
By this point, Cody's face was so crimson that Penny wondered if he was going to have a heart attack. Penny hated having to choose between his friends' needs, but seeing Mowgli start to demonstrate a basic pep cheer while encouraging Cody to participate was just too much. He covered his mouth, trying not to laugh too noticeably. He turned back to the boys' locker room door to get the two culprits, but was surprised to see Melody and Shanti had come out without prompting. Both were turning very peculiar colors as they stared at the sight of Cody in drag.
Melody' conscience must have finally gotten the better of him, for he actually stepped forth to confront his sister. "It wasn't entirely his fault," he said. "And we've got to change for the game."
"What do you mean, not entirely his fault, my sweet babboo?" Lilo chimed in, glaring at the boy she'd once proclaimed herself madly in love with. Although those feelings had faded with time, the nickname still remained.
"Well, um..." Melody started to back away. He was a horrible liar, and looked around for help. Shanti, predictably enough, had made himself scarce. He was good at disappearing.
"What he means is that this is a Cody kind of thing," Penny said, deciding to walk the line. To anyone outside of their circle, that wouldn't make sense, but this was Cody.
"I'm sure he had he help finding himself in this situation, didn't he?" Jenny asked, with a bit of edge to her voice.
Penny shrank back inside, and Melody wilted entirely. "Maybe a little," Melody said.
"We thought that might be the case," Christopher Robin said. "And just so you know, the next time someone helps Cody into our locker room, I'm going to help that person out in return." She cracked the knuckles of her free hand threateningly.
"Can I go now?" Cody said piteously.
Jenny snapped another picture for posterity. "Sure thing, Cody. And if you need some advice on how to cope with your utter humiliation, it's still just five cents for you."
Penny was kind enough to hold the door open so Cody could move faster as he ducked into the boys' locker room. He glanced back over his shoulder at the snickering girls. "You know, it would have been kinder to just beat him up."
"But nowhere near as fun!" Jenny said wickedly as she turned her camera off. "Besides, it's good old Cody. He deserves a less mundane punishment." She crooked a finger at Melody. "And as for you, my darling little brother..."
Penny just shook his head, and turned around to go change. Melody had brought Jenny's wrath down on his own head. "I hope his punishment isn't greater than he can bear," he murmured to himself.
He found Cody standing in front of the sink in the shower area, furiously scrubbing the thick make-up off his skin with one of the scratchy brown paper towels the school supplied. Penny was very tempted to ask if Cody had seen anything that made the ordeal worth it, but decided discretion was the better part of valor. "How did they corner you?" he asked instead.
"It wasn't hard with me being locked in there with them," Cody said, aggravated. "They told me I would either dress up or Jenny would break my pitching arm."
Penny knew that was an idle threat. Even if Jenny was willing to hurt Cody, there was no way Christopher Robin would let that happen. But it wasn't Penny's place to point that out. So instead he said, "You know, I think there's some way to properly remove that. My mother uses this special stuff to get her makeup off."
"Soap and water is working just fine," Cody said.
"I wonder where they got the uniform," Penny mused, "considering our school colors are blue and gold."
Cody looked down at the pink clothing with dislike. "I don't want to know." Finally content with his fresh-scrubbed face, he started to pick the little pink bows out of his hair.
"They managed to get you ready awfully quick," Penny said. "In my experience, it takes them a long time to get ready. Like, hours."
"Not when there's six of them against you."
"Where are your clothes, anyway?"
"Lilo promised to bring them home with her." Cody threw the bits of ribbon into the trash, before heading over to his locker and pulling out his baseball uniform.
Penny, sensing it would be wisest to drop the conversation, went to get ready himself. Less then five minutes later, both were turned out in their Avon Grove Beavers baseball team uniform. It was remarkable how much happier Cody looked, like he'd forgotten about the ordeal he'd just been through.
Melody, along with Shanti and Pigpen, had arrived while they'd been preparing. "Um, Cody?" Melody said.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry I pushed you into the girls' locker room. It wasn't very kind of me." Only Melody could say such a trite thing without sounding ridiculous.
Cody considered the apology a moment, before offering a slight smile. "If you help us win today, I'll forget all about it."
"We'll play our best," Melody assured him.
The interesting thing was that Cody accepted that as an apology – and from the determined look on his face, believed that victory was possible. Never mind the team's near world record-losing streak, or his own athletic inability. For Cody, hope sprang eternal. Maybe that was why so many people liked him, Penny thought. Even if he was a perpetual loser, there was something about supporting an underdog. One of these days, the laws of probability indicated that something would go right for Cody – and Penny wanted to be there to see it.
But that someday wouldn't be today. They had to call the game at the fifth inning, the umpires ruling the 39-0 score was too great an obstacle to overcome.