Episode 15
~The First Night Together With My Fiancé Was Also Wrong~
Before she could give another protest or realize that I had just stupidly used the full motto of my former Division as a form of encouragement. I started off our tango with a sharp dip which had the very stimulating effect of Shizuka wrapping one of her long sexy legs around me for fear of falling.
"—Kya!"
Ignoring the absolutely cute explanation that a woman her age really had no business making; I pulled Shizuka up and led her through the first five steps of an American Tango in time with the piano and violins before moving into a closed promenade.
Proving to be the shounen protagonist I've always suspected her to be, albeit one who was too dense to realize she's in the wrong universe mind you. Shizuka was not only naturally athletic despite all the alcohol, tobacco, and ramen she seemed to endlessly partake in, but she had the wild instincts and reflexes of a natural predator.
The glare those lovely grey eyes shot me at point-blank range reminded me that she was a damn Newtype as well. Although said Newtype was blushing adorably, courtesy of how intimately our foreheads were touching as I stared back into her narrowed gaze. With a raised eyebrow and a smirking grin I spun Shizuka out and recovered her with back now pressed against me and my hand now holding her at the front of her waist.
"…!"
As she let out a short gasp of surprise, her head turned naturally to face the direction where I had extended her arm out with my hand holding hers. With long, confident strides we promenaded across the dance floor like we owned it. She was smiling and there was a lively energetic light in those lovely gray eyes of hers as I spun her back to face me.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha! You know, this is a lot of fun. You're pretty good at this Hachiman."
"Affirmative." After all classical dance was a supplemental exigent to the requirements of the service and you would be mocked relentlessly back at the barracks if you didn't know it. "You're not doing so bad yourself, Shizuka."
Even so, despite Shizuka being the closest thing to a Force Sensitive in this fucking anime world, Hiki-Dancer was working overtime to make up for the experience she was lacking.
Thank Haruhi 8man had maxed out the points to that skill, although as a loner, he would have never been able to properly use it. The skill Hiki-Dancer required one to have an actual dance partner and no amount of Dance Dance Revolution solo experience or fanatical Chiba zeal for song and dance, could overcome the skill's prerequisite. Had Hikigaya Hachiman lived, this most certainly would have come to bite him in the ass. Which was exactly the case from what I saw from his poor showing at the end of the anime.
As for myself, It's not a problem.
Having long ago met the skill's prerequisite back as a JROTC Cadet, I was able to push Hiki-Dancer to its limits as I just barely avoided my lovely Fiancés latest attempt at skinship (violence) in the form of her launching a knee straight into my privates. Or after becoming way too overconfident, she lost her footing, and I had to half drag her over the dance floor in order to make it look like it was all part of the tango we were dancing.
Our eyes met, and we instantly entered the kind of sync that Tsurumi-san and Atsugi-san would surely tease us for had they witnessed it.
With one look at the radiant smile on Shizuka's face, any other thoughts I may have had at that moment were ruthlessly cleared away until only the beautiful woman I held in my arms remained. Losing myself in those lovely gray eyes, we continued to dance in sync for what seemed to be an indeterminable amount of time, before all too quickly, I suddenly realized that the song of our tango was fast approaching its ending.
There was already a round of applause from the other guests in the reception hall as I brought Shizuka into a slow, graceful dip in time with the final bars of the music. She had a leg wrapped around me as I held her suspended over the dance floor. Her breaths were somewhat heavy as they came out in a rhythm of steady gasps and flushed in embarrassment, her cheeks turned a slight shade of red from the attention we were receiving.
I want to kiss her.
I want to kiss her!
Looking at this gorgeous, somewhat desperate, older woman (lol) as I held her in my arms, the only thought running through my head at that moment was that I just wanted to kiss her damn it!
So ignoring the warnings of No! Wait you idiot!, the chained-up monster of logic was shouting in the back of my mind. I reoriented my lovely fiancé and cupped the back of her head as I pulled her into a passionate kiss.
"—Eh? Hmph!"
Soft, warm, real… For just a moment I luxuriated in the delightful, silky smooth feeling of her long black hair that my fingers caress in its full volume as our lips met. Her soft supple lips felt almost hot to the touch and tasted of cherries steeped in tobacco and alcohol. The fact that, despite her age, Shizuka was still using something as childish as a high schooler's lip gloss was something I found more endearing than disappointing. After all, just like with 'The War on Terror', I was under no illusions about what I was signing up for when I belatedly realized that I had actually asked this hot mess of a woman to marry me.
So what if she was a desperate onee-san who couldn't act her age to save her life!
Hell, I liked cherries and her chest felt fucking amazing damn it! Fight me!
My newfound passion for cherries was interrupted as she pressed her moistened, cherry lips back more firmly into mine while her hand traveled up my back before tangling her fingers through my hair.
For a single breathless moment of sheer bliss, we shared something genuine.
Unfortunately, the rational part of my mind finally caught up with the monster of logic as it smugly informed me that I was only seventeen…
HOLY FUCKING SHIT HARUHI! JUST WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?! I MUST BE INSANE!
Apparently, my lovely Fiancé and I were still in sync as she seemed to share that sentiment with me by the way I could now feel her body tensing. As if by some mutual agreement, we simultaneously broke the kiss with breath-laden gasps.
Shizuka's eyes were open wide in shock and at least as much as my Ayanokōji-like face would allow, that look of shock was mirrored in my own features. Only as those lovely grey eyes continued to look into my own, there was something close to full-blown panic in them as well.
Achievement unlocked: It's Afraid!
Yeah, no shit achievement-chan did you get 'Games and Theory' as well?! With that panicked (and totally not hurtful at all) look of abject horror staring me right face, I definitely didn't need a certain God of Gaming for me to 'see the ending' or to know it was a bad one damn it…
As Hikigaya Hachiman I should have known my first genuine kiss to a girl would terrify her in this fucking anime world. Hey, I just called you a girl in my internal narration, aren't you happy? That should make you happy, right? Oi, why are you glaring at me you damn Newtype?! That's just my imagination RIGHT?!
Suddenly a very familiar piano melody that made the both of us wince, could be heard over the loudspeakers drawing many couples back onto the dance floor.
Damn it, Yamada!
Even now, you must torment me!
It seemed the new bride was a big fan of his apparently…
Blushing heavily Shizuka extricated herself along with her leg that had still been wrapped around me and stumbled back a few paces.
["You and me, our love story~ It's just as I imagined~ After the curtain rises, a one-man show starts~"]
"H-Hachiman… I… we… that…"
'Ok…, let's not panic, we should totally be adults and calmly discuss what just happened rationally.' Are what my eyes say.
["Though I'm always by your side~ after all, I'm nothing but the audience~"]
With one last panicky look, she fled.
"…"
["Said feelingless 'I'm sorry'~ It's just on a daily basis~ That's not too bad once you get used to it~"]
Oi, why are you running away, are you a kid?! Aren't you supposed to be an adult and gently let me down in this kind of situation?!
Wait, didn't she just reject me…
["But I knew my romance with you was unlike my self-~ and I realized it would never last long~"…]
Just as I was about to go after her I did something that all too often gets soldiers killed. I hesitated, while the thought of Shizuka's rejection hits me like a flashbang. As I stood there in a daze, my ahoge twitched as Shiori-san approached with an all too kind smile on her face.
"I'm sorry Hikigaya-kun, I have no idea what could have come over my daughter, really to leave her fiancé after such a romantic gesture too!"
"No… I'm afraid such a public display may have embarrassed her, Shiori-san…" Fiancé or not, Shizuka had just shared a passionate kiss with her seventeen-year-old high school student, so of course she's freaking out!
Seriously, there was a reason I needed to marry her, besides her just being the 'best girl' you knooooow~.
Hmm, I wonder if she would be happy if I called her that…
Shiori-san lets out a disappointed sigh and offers me her hand. Damn, this was just like when the Colonel's wife took pity on me all over again… only now I was even more nervous and my date didn't just ditch me for an officer and a gentleman.
"So… How long have you known my daughter?"
Geh, this is kind of a tricky question especially if one were to consider the time shenanigans involved… Just to be safe I went with this body's point of reference.
"Um, roughly sixteen months… probably."
"Hmm," She gave me a curious look as we continued to dance and I felt a bit uncomfortable under her close scrutiny.
"And are you still in the military by chance?" Caught off guard my eyes widened as my ahoge stood on end, and despite my Ayanokōji like expression, she totally noticed. "Piff! Oh, there's no need to look so surprised Hikigaya-kun, you have a soldier's eyes, just like my sister's ex-husband's… So are you still serving? You're still quite young, after all." As she finished, her familiar, warm grey eyes looked at me with amusement.
Scary! Apparently being a damn Newtype must run in the family! It was like she could see right through me!
"N-No ma'am, I've been medically discharged from the Army…"
She looked surprised at that and gently squeezed my arm. "Oh dear! What happened? If you don't mind me asking…"
"I… don't really like to talk about it… but in the end, it was a truck that got me…"
All of which was true, from a certain point of view.
"Oh my!"
"—I'm fine. It's not a problem."
Probably.
"It's a relief that you're alright then… But tell me, does Shizuka know about this?"
Geh! This was a question that just didn't feel right to Kenobi through…
"She knows I've been in an accident… but… I haven't told her about my time in the Army, and… I… I don't know how to, Shiori-san… To be honest my past is… complicated."
She gave me a sympathetic look along with the kind of smile only a mother could give.
"Well, thank you for being honest with me Hikigaya-kun. I know that it must be hard for you to talk about your experiences, but I do hope you will trust my daughter with them." She lets out a small sigh. "That girl may be very clumsy when it comes to romance, but she will never run away when someone opens up or truly needs her."
"I know… I just don't want to burden her with my past Shiori-san."
"Well you are still young, so you have plenty of time to talk to her about it, and it wouldn't surprise me if Shizu already had some idea about your military past, Hikigaya-kun."
Oh Haruhi I hope not, things were already complicated enough because I was her student. I could only imagine how Shizuka would react if she found out that I was some kind of 'Isekaizombie from a parallel future'…But now that I think about it, it would probably just push all of her anime and manga buttons…
Even so, I felt I would be fine as long as my dear little sister never found out that I used to be a soldier.
As I simply nodded to Shiori-san's words, her eyes lit up with a look of playful mischief.
"Now, are you sure the age gap won't be a problem?" She teased.
"No. For me, it's not a problem, Shiori-san." I was still twenty-nine, despite the body I was in.
Shiori-san smiles warmly at my response.
"Well, for what it's worth, thank you for putting up with her." She lets out another sigh. "I was afraid she wouldn't find anyone. She'll need someone as grounded as you to keep her in check," A soft giggle escapes her lips. "even if you are younger." Shiori-san then gazed into my dead fish eyes with a serious expression as she seemed to have come to a decision.
"Please look after her."
Suddenly this anime world felt all too real in that moment.
"I will."
After escorting Shiori-san off the dance floor and to her husband, I began searching for my wayward lovely Fiancé and found that neither she nor her purse were at our table. Thinking that she must have gone outside for a cigarette I went to join her. As I exited the reception hall into the evening air, I pull out smart-kun to text Komachi that I already ate and that she shouldn't wait up for me. A star destroyer klaxon later informed me that she had gone over to the Specialists' for a sleepover since the Major (my mother) and the old man were stuck working.
I let out a sigh as I put away my phone, feeling guilty that I had left my dear little sister alone and promising that I would make it up to her when she was back home.
I took out one of my Seven Star's cigarettes while looking for Shizuka, and not finding her outside. As I lit it, I noticed that her Red Aston Martin was still there, and soon a group of women were gathering at the entrance as the new bride was getting ready to toss her bouquet. After a few drags I reluctantly put out my cigarette and walked over to them, half hoping in Shizuka's desperation to get married, that she would also be among them. She wasn't, and before I could read too deeply into what that might have meant for our engagement… I automatically snatch the bouquet that had just nearly smacked me in the head.
My ahoge and the eye that I still sometimes felt phantom pain in twitched, as a few very unhappy women (the bride's coworkers probably) turned to glare at me.
As a man, I never felt so humiliated in all my lives… even after four years of working the front of my mother's flower shop. Seriously, what in Haruhi was she thinking? Son or not, having a one-eyed combat vet with a nasty face scar at the counter could only be bad for business you knooooow~. Although… thinking back, we did see a steady uptick in shady customers that I suspected were from the Mafia, Kyon…
Geh. Kyon and distraction-chan are here to laugh at me now.
After giving a brief thousand-yard stare to the sky, I attempted to return the bouquet of Peonies to the bride only for her to giggle and insist that I give it to her new older cousin.
Feeling slightly more 'Dead inside~', and trying my best to ignore the hateful glares of the young office ladies, I retreated back into the reception hall in defeat, while Kyon tried to explain to distraction-chan how overplaying a song wasn't a good thing.
While ignoring a few raised eyebrows at my holding the bridal bouquet, I found a very dark wound in the Force— er, I mean my totally gracefully, beautiful, and lovely wayward Fiancé who was sitting alone at the open bar, smoking a cigarette… and… oh fuck… yeah… she's completely drunk…
Shizuka is swaying slightly in her seat as she leans against the bar. There's a lit cigarette in her off-hand, as she takes another sip of her drink. She then slams it down on the counter next to the empty shots she had earlier, causing some of it to spill over.
"I-It should beee fwiine~… Heee's… myy… f-fee-on'saye~… Ngh… Sooo wdat if hee k-kissed me?! We didn't doo anyfin wrong… we'rr getting buried!"
"M-Miss, for the last time y-you really can't smoke in here…"
She reaches over bar in a rage, and yanks the bartender up by his tie…
"HEY! Why the hell do you have to be so damn uptight?!"
Releasing him, Shizuka stabbed out her cigarette in an empty shot glass she had been using as an ashtray.
"There… 'appy…? Now get me antheor rwuond! Sum'thin wift one thos lit'le un-brala's in hic!"
I quickly snapped out of the sudden surge of relief I just felt after hearing for the first time that she actually was going to bury— um, marry me. And yes, I know she was totally drunk when she said that Kyon. But it still made me happy, damn it! Even so, the last thing Shizuka needed right now was even more of alcohol-chan's attention.
"No, I think she's already had enough," I said curtly while using the last of my cash to tip the harassed young college student who was bartending. It wasn't much thanks to that business onee-san, which was fine since I was annoyed that he couldn't stop her. Really, even Kawasomething made a better bartender…
"And jus who de hell do ya think?! —Oh! It's ma toooo yong fiasco~!" She giggles drunkenly and down the rest of her drink. She then tries to stand up straight, but immediately stumbles and grabs me by the collar of my suit and pulls me close, her hot breath is reeking of alcohol.
"Hic… Why…?! WHY?!" There were tears forming in her eyes.
How the fuck am I supposed to explain why I kissed her when she's so drunk Kyon?!
"Why did you LEAVE me?!"
"Huh?"
Clinging tightly to my collar with her still lovely grey eyes, glassy and unfocused, Shizuka engages in her particular form of skinship (violence) by roughly shaking me back and forth as she slurs her words.
"We were havin' such a good time and ya ruined it! So where da hell were you Hachigone?!"
'Where~! The fuck~! Are YOU~?! Where~! The fuck~! Are YOU~?!'
Oi! Not helping distraction-chan!
"Why are… you… so damn rotten?! I… don't even know… who the hell you are anymore!"
Before this could escalate further and I got a concussion, I held out the bridal bouquet to her which thankfully stopped her skinship (violence) abruptly.
"I… um… Ahem, here. The bride wanted you to have this."
Shizuka releases her iron grip and stumbles back a step, swaying dangerously as she tries to focus on the bouquet.
"It doesn't… count… unless ya catch hic…" She pouted in frustration while her cheeks seemed to flush more than alcohol-chan had intended.
"Well, if you don't want it…" Not wanting to hold onto the damn thing any longer, I intended to place it on the bar top, but only before I could her hand suddenly reached out—
"Whad ya sayin'?! Give it to me! It's MINE!" —and snatched the bouquet from my grasp.
Wow! Too Fast! Holy Haruhi Batman! Her desperation has been turned to Eleven!
While Kyon explained that 'Eleven was one louder' to distraction-chan who didn't get it, and I began to fear that I may have just given her a weapon… Shiori-san arrives and gives her daughter a look of disappointment.
"Oh dear… I was hoping something like this wouldn't happen again…" She let out a long suffering sigh as she walked past Shizuka who was now in her own little world, looking inordinately pleased as she held the bridal bouquet close to her chest. As she swayed I couldn't help noticing how her cleavage seemed to want to spill out of her black party dress…
Ahem, I quickly averted my gaze by turning to Shiori-san who now had a knowing smirk on her face, as she held out Shizuka's purse toward me.
"Would you mind seeing Shizu home, Hikigaya-kun~?" Her eyes twinkling with mischief, as if she was handing out a challenge along with her daughter's purse.
"Um, sure… It's not a problem, Shiori-san." I said calmly as if I hadn't been caught totally looking.
"Good, I'll be sure to let Jirō and the others know that you two had to leave early. Thank you for taking care of her~."
I raised an eyebrow as Shiori-san walked away. It suddenly felt like she trying to accelerate things between me and her daughter so she could force the wedding date sooner.
SCARY!
Why the hell are the Hiratsuka women so meddlesome Kyon?!
Even so, it still wasn't as bad with Haruno… And whatever Shiori-san's endgame was, I was determined just to see Shizuka safely home, and that was all.
Letting out a resigned sigh, I pulled her driver's license out of her purse and while politely ignoring the fact that it told me she was actually twenty-six, I entered her address into smart-kun, which oddly seemed familiar to me already.
I walked over to my lovely drunken Fiancé and supported her with one arm under her shoulder while using the other to steady her as she wobbles unsteadily.
"It's time to go home, Shizuka."
"Mhmm? Don't! You can't take it back! It's MINE!"
"Alright alright, let's just get you home."
"Nooo! I wanna stay 'ere!" She tries to pull away from my grasp, causing her to sway dangerously from side to side.
With a deep breath, I try again to steer her towards the exit. "Come on, Shizuka. It's best if we get you home now."
"Buh... But I wanna dance some moah!" Her face scrunches up in frustration as she attempts to resist my efforts once more.
My patience wears thin as I try to reason with her. "Look, Shizuka. We can dance another day when you're sober. Right now, all we need to do is get you home safely."
Feeling incredibly embarrassed and frustrated, Shizuka tries to push me away from her but fails miserably. "Wait… wh-what are you doing?! I don't need your help!"
"Tch."
Damn, she's worst than some of the drunken soldiers I led back to the barracks. Ignoring her protests, I gently pick her up bridal style and carry her out of the reception hall.
"Hey, hey! Wot ya doin? Put me down!"
"You're too damn drunk to walk."
She giggles drunkenly and wraps her arms with the bouquet in hand around my neck, leaning into me as I walk through the exit."He-he-he~! I'm bein' waifu carry~!"
I considered getting us a taxi but quickly dismissed the idea. I was out of cash and while not much of a father… although he was at least still mostly there; the old man was a pretty damn good accountant who had access to the banking statements in my account. He had already caught my purchase of Shizuka's engagement ring and lectured me, thankfully thinking it was something else. That lecture on wasting money had been annoying as hell. Even so, it felt nice that he was trying to look out for me, if only financially you knooooow~.
With Shizuka held limply in my arms, I walked over to her car.
"Do da robit voice!"
"Roger Roger."
"Piff-ha-ha-ha! Hic's jus like da movie!"
Oi! Oi! Don't kick your legs! It'd be annoying if you lost a shoe damn it!
I set Shizuka gently down on the sidewalk in front of the passenger side door while fumbling with her purse to get the car key.
"Wha...? Whaddya think yer doin?! Dhat's MY car! You can't drive ma car!"
"You're drunk Shizuka and I need to get you home, it's not a problem."
She stumbles unsteadily forward and tries to take her car key away.
"I'm fline~, I'm fline~… I'm not drunk~, I'm not drunk~… Hic… I… can dive!"
The fact that she would even consider such an idiotic course of action only illustrated how completely wasted she really was.
"You are not driving tonight!"
Her face was flushed red, and she looked like a child who had just been caught doing something wrong, as she disengaged in her clumsy skinship (violence) for the key.
"You're angry!"
"I'm not angry."
"You're angry with me! Please don't be angry! D-Don't leave me…"
"I'm not angry. I'm not leaving. Just get in the car already…"
I helped her into the passenger seat and buckled her up.
This car was definitely no Zaku and it certainly wasn't like driving a Humvee Kyon!
While Shizuka lolls her head against the passenger side window, unconscious within seconds of sitting down, I was behind the wheel of her Red Aston Martin. Knowing that another opportunity to drive her badass car would be highly unlikely, I'll admit I was taking a bit of a long detour to her apartment.
She had the Soundtrack of Initial D in her CD player so it was no wonder she was always speeding. Even so, it wasn't something me and distraction-chan could really vibe to for night driving, which was why we were cruising to an album of LXST CXNTURY.
The fact that I drifted through those last two turns, will be our little secret distraction-chan~. Tee-hee~.
All too soon, my chill night drive came to an end as I pulled into her parking spot after checking the windshield parking sticker. My lovely Fiancé would have killed me if her car ended up getting towed you knooooow~.
I open the passenger door and wake her up as I help her out of the car.
"Mmmh…hn?" She mumbles incoherently, her head lolling to one side as she tries to stay upright while still holding the bridal bouquet in one hand with a death grip.
"Come on Shizuka, you're almost home," I say, closing the passenger side door and using the key to lock her car. As I turn towards Shizuka to help walk her to her apartment door, she suddenly stumbles forward and I'm embraced tightly in her arms, pressing her soft, firm breast against me. I could feel the warmth of her body radiating through the fabric of our clothes in the cool summer night…
It felt fucking amazing!
Her head is resting on my shoulder with her hot breath brushing against my ear as she whispers a certain phrase that sends shivers down my spine.
"Take me…"
"*Gulp!*" My throat suddenly felt dry, as Shizuka leaned back slowly with her lovely gray eyes trying to focus on mine.
"Take me…"Kyon covers distraction-chan's eyes and mutters something about a 'green room' as they disappear…
Oi! What the fuck Kyon?! Even with those lovely, gray puppy-dog-eyes, there's no way in hell I was going take advantage of—!
"Take me… to… get… ramen…"
"…"
Shizuka's eyes seem to glaze over as she leans into me again, only for her body to become limp in my arms as she vomited down the back of my suit jacket…
Suit-kun!
'NOooooooooooo!'
After letting out a long silent scream, I struggled with my (now not so) lovely drunken Fiancé up the stairs and fumbled with her keys to open the door. I felt a strange sense of déjà vu as I entered her apartment and took off my shoes. It was like I had been there before, but I mostly ignored it as I left Shizuka collapsed in the entryway, meaning to put her to bed later. At the moment I was just thankful to Haruhi that my only fren suit-kun was machine-washable and that the vomit had only gotten on the jacket.
As I made use of the washing machine that was just outside of the restroom, still dismissing the comfortable familiarity of the apartment as just another 1LDK I've seen in far too much media, I heard Shizuka stumbling down the hallway and into her bedroom.
With my suit jacket in the wash cycle, I stepped into the hallway to find her heels along with the bouquet scattered on the floor. I let out a resigned sigh as I straightened her shoes in the entryway, and then I set the bouquet with her purse on the living room coffee table.
While loosening my tie and feeling slightly tired, I thought about looking for some kind of vase for flowers. I hear Shizuka's muffled cry from the cracked door of her bedroom.
"Hic-'elp! I need 'elp!"
Not thinking twice, I rushed over to her bedroom and my ahoge stood straight on end as I completely froze when I opened the door.
Red Lace!
Swaying slightly from side to side with her black dress pooled around her ankles, Shizuka was standing there in front of her bed practically half-naked in her sexy red lingerie. She had the top of her head and right arm caught in the sleeve of a loose pajama shirt which was lifting up revealing not only the shapely curves of her hips and stomach but the pale, soft, skin of the underside of her two large breasts.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT I CAN ALMOST SEE THEM HARUHI!
"Help me! I'm stuck!"
Snapping out of just staring at the impromptu sexy striptease(?) happening right before my eyes, I quickly moved in to help extricate my totally hot Fiancé from her pajama shirt— um, sleeve! I totally meant just her sleeve you invasive meat-bags!
"Oi, hey, stop flailing your arm!"
"I can't get out!"
Trying to be careful with my hands while she's struggling within her shirt, I lift up her right sleeve, pretending I totally didn't just see a flash of one of her nipples as she tried to maneuver her head from under the sleeve of her shirt.
Judging her head to be in the correct position, I swiftly pulled her pajama shirt down which in turn caused Shizuka to become even more unstable with her now messy updo becoming undone, sending her silky smooth, black hair in a long cascade down her head and back. She reflexively wraps her arms around my neck as she loses her balance.
"W-wait! Don't grab on to me you idiot!"
The sudden skinship (violence) draws me closer to her, only for me to end up stumbling forward as I slipped on her dress.
In that brief moment, a thought that never once occurred to me enters my head: Oh, so women have breast pads inserted inside those kinds of dresses…
"Hyaa~!" With a cute scream no woman of twenty-six had any right making, Shizuka and I collapsed onto her bed in a tangle of limbs.
I lay there in shock as Shizuka's arms held me tightly in her embrace.
Too close, too close, danger fucking close!
Fuck me… I was in bed with my drunk, scantily clad Fiancé!
"Oi."
"Mmmm… Hachi… warm…"
Attempting to get in a more comfortable position, Shizuka shifts up from the edge of the bed and presses herself against my side more intimately as she wraps her leg around me. As she snuggles against me, my head is pulled to her chest until the right side of my face comes to rest on the soft, warm, skin of her exposed cleavage and I can feel her nuzzling into my hair.
I-I'm okay with this…
This is f-fine…
I-It's not a problem…
…
NOT! THIS IS DEFINITELY A FUCKING PROBLEM! I COULD TOTALLY FEEL HER HOT LACE!
My arm was pinned awkwardly to my side by her body as she clung to me like a body pillow, with my hand trapped in between the soft warmth of her thighs. I shift slightly, trying to avoid direct contact, only for her to engage in more skinship (violence) as her embrace becomes tighter.
"Mmmh…"
Her breathing soon becomes deep and regular, indicating that she has fallen into a peaceful sleep.
Unable to move in her arms, I look up at the ceiling with a thousand-yard stare as she begins to snore softly.
Pretending that my hand was now Australia (a mythical island which doesn't exist), I run a simulation.
I try to extricate myself from Shizuka's grasp in bed…
I died.
Letting out a resigned sigh, I feel a slight dampness in my hair as I listen to the slow, steady rhythm of her heartbeat.
Oi, don't drool on me.
"I'm not a plushie damn it…"
The tension suddenly leaves me and I relax into the soft warmth of her body feeling safe (probably) in her arms as she continues to sleep.
I soon fall to sleep as well and for the first time since my deployments to Fuckin Afghanistan… I didn't dream.
Author's Note:
Wait, what do you mean you didn't tell the readers that we were on hiatus Kyon?! What the hell am I even paying you for?!
Look, whether I pay you or not isn't the point! You're still under contract and that was kind of important!
*Shaking Kyon like a ragdoll by his collar.* So what the hell am I supposed to tell the readers now for our lack of content, huh?!
It's been months Kyon! Months! WHAT?! Not now Jerry! Can't you see I'm busy?! *Looks over to the reader and releases Kyon.*
Ahem. Why hello there Reader-san! Still home invading I see... Delay? What Delay? Don't ask questions, just consume product, Reader-san.
Seriously though, I'm sorry this took so long.
Thanks to those who still Fav and follow and be sure to let me know what you think in the reviews.
Well, I'm done for right now Reader-san, But the legacy of the pebble lives on...
[App Fren-ly End Space]