Almost a week passed, and it was now the egg festival. She spent her days alone, trying to heal her mind by working relentlessly. But now was maybe the time to let herself go out for a bit and finish the presentations, she barely met half of the town. The farm was coming along nicely and crops were growing well. She managed to get enough copper to upgrade her pickaxe and even got a bigger backpack. There was no rational reason to stay here and not see anyone.
With a sigh, she got herself ready, trying to opt for an outfit other than an oversize T-shirt and overalls. She had quite the selection of dresses and went for the yellow one. It was crisscross on her chest and just under knee size, with her brown leather boots and a soft, brown cardigan. She braided her wavy chestnut hair in two and noticed her freckles were beginning to show. Sunny weather always did that to her.
She prepared some gifts for everyone, she had been growing a lot of things during this week and foraged some flowers on her way to the mines. She even found some interesting stuff in the traveling saleswoman's shop. A weird lady. She looked at her stones, carefully placed on the top of a shelf next to her bed. This, too. She took the quartz, staring at it one last time and placed it gently on one of her side pockets. She pushed out the uncomfortable tingle in her stomach with another sigh, and left.
The town square was packed with people, and she did her best to greet each and every one of them, giving them gifts as she went. It was tiring and she pushed through, determined not to be known as the strange farmer that lived on her own and never spoke to anyone. Well, maybe she was. But not today. All of them seemed happy, except perhaps Marnie's nephew, Shane, who barely acknowledged her. He didn't seem to mind the cauliflower too much though, so that's something.
A familiar tingle caught her attention as she walked near the river. She turned and sure enough, he was here with Sam and Abby, looking at her. Again.
As she headed in their direction, Sebastian turned his gaze to the water, like nothing happened.
"Em! You're there!"
She almost heard the tail banging on the pavement before actually seeing Sam.
"It's so nice to see you. I never seem to catch you around here, do you even leave the farm? At all?" His smile. So bright. Em definitely wasn't squinting her eyes.
"Give her a break Sam, I'm sure she's got a ton of work to do. And I saw her at my dad's shop so, she does leave the farm from time to time. You're here for the hunt?" Abby said with somewhat of a mischievous look.
"Actually, I'm not. I'll let the children have fun, I came to introduce myself to all the people I haven't met yet. 'Cause you know, I'm actually not leaving my farm enough." Em said, with a light smile.
"Not fuuun, it seems like the victory will be mine again this year! I wished for some challenge to be honest." Abby said, sighing dramatically.
"What do you mean, are Vince and Jas not enough of a challenge for you? I'm shocked." Sebastian quipped, sarcasm dripping from all of his pores.
"You actually could let my brother win this year Abby, I had to drag him there, he was so defeated." Sam added.
"No. NEVER! " She was making the most terrifying impression of a villain laugh Em has ever heard and they all cracked up as she mimicked a greedy goblin, hoovering above his giant pile of eggs.
"Anyways, it's starting soon, and I don't want to be late for the party. It's my time to shine!"
She looked positively fired up, determined to crush the children's hopes and dreams.
Sam followed her to go and check on his brother, they exchanged numbers and Em gave them presents before they left. A sunflower for Sam because he is warm and sunny, a daffodil for Abigail because it's pretty and would look good pinned in her hair,
"And... A cool rock for you!" she said, giving him the quartz she found a few days ago.
It's shining with the moon, just like him and it's soft and sharp at the same time, and she couldn't look at it anymore. She couldn't look at it because even if it was in between the multitude of other rocks she owned, she still looked for it and thought of him. And this was stupid, a stupid thought for a stupid girl that barely even knew him but still felt she understood, somehow, the deep and unnerving connection they had, or maybe she was the only one feeling it, and this is just a stupid rock anyway, but she just couldn't keep it. Take it please.
He took it.
He looked at it silently, gently turning it around, examining. Her stomach took the shape of a very heavy millstone, and she was maybe about to explode.
"Thanks, I like it."
He smiled. A real, heartfelt, dimples showing and tooth grinning smile. It took her by surprise, the simplicity and honesty of it. It wasn't overwhelming, it was pure and soft and she immediately wanted to see more of it.
"I'm glad you like it" she said, it was barely a whisper and she needed to regain composure. Breathe in, breathe out. She looked at him, and he was still smiling. It stung her stomach, a little.
"So, no egg hunt for you?
- No, I'm just here to watch over the children." He said, looking at Sam and Abby in the distance, amused.
"What a good Dad you are" she could feel the corners of her lips rising even more.
"Why aren't you doing it?" he asked.
"I'm not a fan of crowds. There's a lot of people here and I just went out of my way to greet and gift every single one of them, socialize, and now I'm exhausted. Plus..." she paused, taking a cigarette out of her pack. "It's quite nice and hidden here. I like that."
"You read my mind." He grabbed one of his and as she lowered herself to sit in the grass, so did he.
Em took a big drag and exhaled slowly, her mind instantly relaxing. It was nice to sit here, the sound of water almost overpowering the muffled voices of the villagers above, green lush grass in between her fingers.
"So, what are your plans after that?" Sebatian asked. His voice felt like a warm blanket over her shoulders. She turned to meet his gaze. There were purple undertones in his eyes, just like dusk.
"I think I'm just going to sit on my porch, watch the sunset and maybe read for a bit. I like the light at this time of day, the sound of frogs. The stillness.
- And what do you read?
- Mostly Sci-Fi and Heroic Fantasy. I'm currently reading Dune, again, I don't have a computer anymore so I kind of rely on my already existing collection to survive. But I think the last Solarian Chronicle was released not so long ago, I'll have to find a way to put my hands on that."
She realised he probably didn't even know what she was talking about. Her Dad always said her tastes were childlike and that she needed to grow up... She looked at him, a bit embarrassed and added:
"I know it's probably not the most adult thing to read. I might be kind of a nerd.
- Who said that?" His brows were slightly frowned, but still smiling. She didn't answer.
"Well, I think you found yourself a nerd friend then. I do have the last Solarian Chronicle, bought it the moment it was released. The last cliffhanger just killed me." He said, with a laugh. Em was ecstatic.
"Really? Oh Yoba, did you finish it? How was it? No, don't tell me anything. Damn I'm so jealous. The cliffhanger killed me too, and this is an understatement.
- I finished it in one row, I couldn't stop. I'll lend it to you if you want." There it was, the smile again. She chocked a bit when answering:
"You would?" She almost whispered, eyes wide.
"Of course I would." His voice was as low as hers and sent the lightest shiver down her spine, his cheeks turning a bit pink.
"Thank you. I'd really like that. Maybe I..." she paused, feeling suddenly a bit panicky. "Maybe I could-um, stop by tomorrow? I mean, I- I was thinking about building a coop and you know. I don't want to bother you or anything, but-" he interrupted her rambling, thank Yoba, by moving a bit closer, almost touching her shoulder with his own.
"Yes, please. Come by." Too direct. His gaze was too intense. She was on the verge of imploding, exploding, or maybe both at the same time, pieces of her scattered around the village, and she turned away, finishing her cig and not looking too much while muttering:
"Okay cool. I'll do that then." She stood up more abruptly than she would have hoped, avoiding eye contact.
"I- I need to get going. Thank you and um, see you tomorrow." She didn't look, and didn't register the reply as she walked away, a bit too fast, her heartbeat a bit uneven, confused and excited, but mostly confused. This is not what you think it is. She exited the festival, passed the bus stop and paused on her porch, crouching, her hands on her hair in a familiar, soothing position.
This could not be what she thought it was. It just couldn't. She was the one imagining things and she could live with that. Because she didn't really see, in those stupid eyes of his, what she thought she saw. She couldn't look at it because it made the raging burn in her stomach a bit too real. And she wasn't ready. This was nothing and she made a way bigger deal of it than it needed to be. This was just a stupid book, and he just was a bit more forward than what she was expecting.
She sat, her back on the wall and looked at the sun setting, the light turning into an orange and pink veil over the scenery. She pulled her knee next to her face and sighed, her fingers fidgeting across her legs. Images of open dusky eyes looking at her, looking through her, burned behind her eyelids. She wanted them gone, it made her uncomfortable. But warm all over at the same time. She just couldn't compute.
I need a beer. Or any other distraction, this is so. Fucking. Stupid. There's nothing. There's never anything and you're just out there, taking things way out of proportion. Over sensitive, that's what you are. Too sad to get up early, too excited to stay in place, too inside your head to enjoy the moment and too stupidly focused on this stupid crush of yours to do the right thing. You need to calm down and stop interpreting things. You need to breathe and remember, you barely know each other. No, the connection is not real, no he doesn't feel it too, no this is not special, no you do not read him as well as you think you are, and he doesn't either. Just. Stop. Thinking.
She let out another sigh. She was feeling a bit more stable now. It was dark out, she stayed for a bit as she got up, enjoying the song that played every night in her yard. Frog croaking, crickets singing, wind gently stroking the leaves, grass and branches. She sang with them, one of her favourite songs, to ground herself some more before heading inside. She looked at her books on the top of the chimney as she started the fire. She took Dune and decided to bring it to him tomorrow so that it was an even exchange. The photo she put there slipped, and she smiled back at Grandpa, delicately putting him back in place. She got ready for bed and slept, her light smile not leaving her face.